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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Opening...
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Opening...
3:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:01 PM
Good morning! Leaves Lounge is open!
3:01 PM
I'll be on for the next hour, if you've found your way here please say hello!
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Hello, I've found my way here!
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:21 PM
Good morning!
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You out there getting into any trouble today?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:23 PM
Well, as locked in as we are the only trouble that is available to me is getting in trouble with my wife, which hasn't happened yet but the day is young.
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Glad to hear that haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:24 PM
How is your bakery doing? Have they closed up completely?
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Reminder: We are a place of kindness. Check your comment for a friendly and supportive tone before hitting send.
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Owner said they prob opening next week
3:25 PM
Been studying HTML, a bit of math, and entrepreneurship a lot
3:25 PM
Cruising some cool forums
3:26 PM
Keeping up with good habits 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:26 PM
That's great. If you can put the stress aside it's a great time for self-actualization.
3:27 PM
Digital stuff is my business, although I haven't built anything myself in years it's a great skill to have no matter what you do.
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Hell yeah
3:28 PM
My endgame plan is to start up a few businesses, working on the skills to get me there lol
3:29 PM
Never gonna have any sort of wealth if I don't
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:30 PM
It's great and I highly recommend it. I've started and sold two in my life. One was a company to represent American intellectual property in Eastern Europe, basically, if you wanted to make a Lord of the Rings t-shirt in Russia you had to come to us for the rights, and also one of the first web design companies way back in the day.
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That sounds great!
3:35 PM
You got some Russian connections? lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:36 PM
lol, I do. 🙂 We were working in Moscow in the mid 1990s when the Russian mafia owned the place. The called them "flatheads" because they all had the same buzz haircut. Fortunately, with the structure of our business they never bothered us. They wouldn't understand intellectual property licensing even if we held a seminar. 🙂
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The Russian IP company sounds pretty F'ing cool. Would be easier to get to the point where it could run itself than a web company would be, probably.
3:37 PM
and yeah the best part about online companies is not dealing with the literal mafia
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:38 PM
Sadly, no companies ever run themselves, but we built that until it was the biggest firm in the region. It was a good, if contract-intensive, business.
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A big part of what I want to do is create a product that will earn for me. I don't want to start a business that will be a job.
3:39 PM
Yeah it probably was pretty hands on
3:39 PM
Were you able to cash out nicely when it sold?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:40 PM
Yup, we sold it and the web company to a Danish group who wanted them, and then I became a digital and tech consultant for a long time.
3:41 PM
Passive income is a tough goal. Hard to own your own business that provides it -- they need constant care. Sometimes better to work your ass off, make a chunck, and then get your passive income from stocks. Much safer!
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Very true!
3:42 PM
I reast the book Fastlane Millionaire about 6 months back and it kind of gave me a paradigm shift in the job game. If you've ever got a few minutes check out their forum, sounds like you'd fit right in. fastlaneforum.com
3:43 PM
Cool to see people posting their roadmaps they've used and giving advice on mine lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:45 PM
I will, that sounds interesting. I'm always skeptical of "fast" anything, but I'm 54, I'm not in the same place as when I was 25, and have learned so many lessons the hard way I don't have the same recklessness. Sometimes you need that recklessness to do objectively dumb things that turn out to be a success... 🙂
3:46 PM
Plus, I was super high all the time back then!
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It's an entrepreneurial forum. They'd probably call your businesses fastlanes lol
3:47 PM
fast isn't easy, either
3:48 PM
Fast being 5-7 years or so
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:48 PM
Cool, I will definitely have a look -- sounds fun!
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Hello, good morning...screwed up the timezones and got in late, but I will be at the next one.
3:50 PM
Hope you are all doing well
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Hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:51 PM
Good morning!
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Hey people
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:51 PM
Hey Spyros!
3:51 PM
Where are you in the world, hotdog?
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New mexico
3:52 PM
Everyone I know and love is on the east coast of the U.S. so I truly should've known better
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:53 PM
Ah, yeah, that's hard. We have family locked down out there too. I think they were on vacation and thought it wise they didn't come back.
3:53 PM
How's your quit going?
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I have been on day 1 three times in the past week so not super well
3:55 PM
But if I can get over the bump of 2-5 days I will be set for a while. I've quite a few times with the support of leaves and I can do it again.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:55 PM
Do you have a supply around or do you keep buying?
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I killed it last night
3:56 PM
Someone posted about not being able to stop and i was like "so get rid of your stash" and it dawned on me that I hadn't gotten rid of mine
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Flushing it and getting it out of your life can be a big relief.
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I hate it but my whole family smokes so it's hard for me to demonize it enough to back away
3:57 PM
and then I smoke and I'm like "see, hotdog, that wasn't as much fun as you thought"
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I changed my stoner buddies avatar pics in my contact list to detour signs. Them MFers are a detour right back to shitsville for me.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:57 PM
lol, awesome.
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Haha good call
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:58 PM
Do you still have it around from your family hotdog, or can you keep away from it?
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I can keep away
3:58 PM
I literally have no option right now tbh. The closest dispensary is 3-4 hours away and my SO doesn't smoke so I am good
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 3:59 PM
Good -- the whole point of it is that cravings are temporary. If you can delay the time between when a craving comes on and your ability to satisfy it, you give yourself a better chance of avoiding it.
3:59 PM
That does sound good.
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Thanks! I am going to mosey on our and get to work but i will get back in for the next meeting. Thanks.
4:00 PM
Said thanks twice... uh, whoops?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 4:00 PM
Cool -- I'm going to shut this down, back again at 1:30 EDT!
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 4:00 PM
Bye!
4:00 PM
!loungeclose
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👉 That's it for tonight everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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Cool, later!
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 4:01 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Closing...
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Closing...
4:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
6:30 PM
Opening...
6:30 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:30 PM
Hello! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
6:31 PM
If you've just arrived, please say hello!
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Hey again. I am assuming there will be more people around tonight but I will stick around for the hour.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:33 PM
Maybe? We'll see -- this test only went out to 20 people, so you never quite know, but when we roll it out to the group things may get more active.
6:33 PM
But good to see you!
6:34 PM
It occurs to me how much this is like the first days of Leaves itself. I just sent out a notification and sat there for a few days. 🙂
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I am working from home so me and my computer are pretty tight these days. Can't see a reason not to be here. How was the meeting earlier?
6:35 PM
And what is your deal, how long have you been abstaining from weed?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:35 PM
The meeting was good -- I closed it up almost right after you left, but this is helping get the hang of discord, which I've never used before.
6:36 PM
I smoked as much as I could possibly smoke every day, along with other drugs and alcohol, for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit.
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Damn that rules
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:37 PM
🙂 It's still part of who I am though, so I'm glad to still be part of all this.
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That is how it goes with all addictions I think. If you have the personality that gets hooked, you have to cultivate the opposite. Like I still consider myself a smoker (ciggs) although I've been quit for a year because I know how easy it would be for me to get hooked again.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:40 PM
Yup, that's why you hear people even with my amount of time still saying they're a "recovering" addict. The minute you think you're over it it will bite you.
6:42 PM
I feel lucky to be alone in this in a way, it would be harder if I weren't the biggest stoner I know
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:43 PM
I had that advantage too. Most of my friends barely drink and not get high. My wife has six drinks a year if that. It makes it a whole lot easier.
6:44 PM
How long have you been smoking?
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Like, 12 years?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:44 PM
That's a good run. 🙂
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Super heavy every day use has been more like 8 or 9
6:45 PM
and it's not like it hasn't been helpful at times but I am just so over it. All it makes me do is eat and sit still
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:45 PM
What do you do for work?
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I'm a librarian
6:46 PM
A super-specialized one
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:46 PM
There's an answer you don't see everyday. That's great.
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Thanks. Lots of people like to give me off the cuff advice about how it;'s a dumb career move but it's worked out pretty well so far.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:47 PM
Lol. Bringing in that big library money.
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Right? I won't get rich but with experience I might find my way into a comfortable position because I am specialized
6:49 PM
Who knows tho tbh
6:49 PM
The world kinda blows right now lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:52 PM
I'm 54 now, and the only times I can look back and remember being excited and having fun was when I was really engaged in what I was doing. You need to earn more money than you spend and to retire on, but more than that and it never makes up for hating what you're doing. It sounds to me like your head's on straight.
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Yeah that's why quitting weed is so frustrating
6:53 PM
I am at a point in my life where I love what I do, where I am good at it, and where I am with someone who is the opposite of a mess but I still feel the need to shut my life off at the end of the day
6:54 PM
What am I escaping from? Nothing. Just eating like 10 cheese sticks and falling asleep to Netflix
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:54 PM
lol. IT SOUNDS BAD WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT. 🙂
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It's a habit. I have so few bad habit left and this one is just giving me hell
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:55 PM
Yeah, have you heard of phantom pains? That people who have a limb amputated can still feel like they have an arm or a leg still there. Our understanding of the world and who we are does change the instant you cut something off, but your brain comes around if you help it.
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I am a fidgety, anxious person and weed totally helped with that but it does nothing for me now that diet and exercise can't accomplish better.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:56 PM
*doesn't change
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My brain is rude as hell though. Part of why I smoked so much even after my life started looking better is because I started having insane nightmares when I stopped
6:57 PM
The longest I've gone without smoking was the whole month of August 2018
6:58 PM
And I just kind of have to deal with them now because they are strangely better for my health than smoking.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 6:58 PM
Well you've been ordering it around for twelve years. Beating it into submission with a drug that tells it how to feel immediately. It's bound to be uncivilized until you reach a new understanding.
6:58 PM
Have you run across the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns?
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How long did it take you to stop thinking love about weed? and did you quit everything at once?
6:59 PM
No I have not
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 7:02 PM
I haven't stopped thinking about weed. That may seem frustrating, but the analogy I use is it's like walking a tightrope. At first you fall. Repeatedly. Then you make it across, wobbling all over the place. Then, after awhile you're doing backflips, balancing on a chair... The interesting part of that analogy is that the tightrope and gravity haven't changed, you've just gotten way, way better. I still think about weed, I still have cravings, but they don't stand a chance against all the skills I have for dealing with them now. They're seed that just don't find any fertile soil.
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Gotcha. I look forward to caring less about it than I do now.
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 7:07 PM
You definitely will. Keep yourself busy. Keep that fidgety brain fully engaged with new experiences. Make lists of things to do. Super-hard in quarantine, but it's essential.
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I have the bones of a plan in place
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 7:08 PM
And check out that book. It's a great at-home CBT program. It will help with the anxiety if you go through the steps.
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Nice. I will. I think I am going to duck out to prep for a meeting but it was nice talking to you again and thanks for setting this all up.
7:09 PM
Cheers!
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/04/2020 7:09 PM
You too! See you around!
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
7:30 PM
Closing...
7:30 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
7:30 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:00 AM
!loungeopen
12:00 AM
!unlock
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Command: !unlock
Description: Unlock a previously locked channel. Cooldown: 5 seconds Usage: !unlock [channel] (message) Example: !unlock #general !unlock #support We're back everyone!
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:00 AM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Open...
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Open...
12:00 AM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:01 AM
There we go! Hi everybody, welcome to Leave Chat!
12:01 AM
We'll be here for the next hour, so please don't be shy and say hello when you arrive!
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Hello!
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:04 AM
Hey Matty -- good to see you!
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Hi people
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:05 AM
Hey Spyros...
12:06 AM
@Mattybara How are you feeling tonight -- how long has your quit been so far?
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I feel great! I'm on day 9 and to be honest way easier than I thought. Was smoking for about 8 years but smoking regularly for 3 (everyday) (edited)
12:07 AM
How about yours?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:07 AM
Easy or not, 9 day is great
12:07 AM
Where are you from?
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Beautiful Hudson Valley in NY
12:08 AM
Yourself?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:08 AM
Beautiful indeed -- I'm in DC now, but I live for 25 years in Manhattan, and for a few years in Hastings and Dobbs Ferry.
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How's your recovery journey going?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:11 AM
Mine is well and stable, fortunately. I have 21 years quit now, after smoking as much as I physically could every day for ten years. You're never immune to relapse, which is why I'm grateful to still be involved in the community.
12:11 AM
It keeps my head on straight. 🙂
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👉 If you haven't read our rules, now's a great time. Have a look in #about to see how we do things... 👈
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Do you guys know Franz Kafka?
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oh yeah metamorphosis
12:26 AM
thanks for the note / reminder subduction
12:26 AM
glad to be here
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:26 AM
Yup, whenever people start adding -esque to the end of your name you know you're famous.
12:26 AM
Hey hydeta! Thanks for coming by? Where are you in your quit?
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i just hit 7 days today, last time i quit was last summer for about 2 months but then relapsed hard all winter and spring
12:28 AM
quarantine has been helping actually
12:28 AM
turned 26 last week, decided it was time
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:28 AM
7 days is a great milestone.. Quarantine is helping?
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quarantine is helping because i've moved home with my parents temporarily, my roommate is still a huge stoner currently and i find it very hard to stay sober when im with them at my apartment
12:31 AM
every day my brain is still trying to talk me into smoking, but its slowly getting weaker and i just need to find ways to exhaust myself now
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:31 AM
That is helpful -- so no weed in the house at all?
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my brother is here and has his vape pen
12:31 AM
which has been difficult but spliffs were always my weakness
12:31 AM
and i dont have access to flower/tobacco/papers
12:31 AM
thank goodness
12:33 AM
how often do you find yourself craving now that you're 21 years sober?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:33 AM
Yeah, you'd me amazed how much of staying quit is circumstance. Getting as far away from it as you can, so that when you have a craving you don't give in right away. Be careful of that pen as you get more desperate tho!
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agreed its been tempting me
12:34 AM
i've actually already been gaining weight since quitting because i used to wake up and smoke and then ironically not eat until the mid afternoon
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:34 AM
lol, I have no idea how you did that -- I used to eat enogh for five people when I smoked. 🙂
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haha yeah i know its counterintuitive
12:35 AM
i work a pretty stressful job and im still struggling to figure out how to wind down at the end of the daay
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:35 AM
What do you do, if you don't mind me asking?
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currently i've been trying to run and then take a SUPER hot bath (like sweating while sitting in it) so i almost give myself mild heat exhaustion and i come out of it almost feeling high haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:37 AM
lol I've always asserted the dangerously hot bath can cure a cold, so why not smoking? (your science may vary)
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my problem is still going to be social i can tell
12:39 AM
a lot of my friends smoke a lot and have no intention of quitting
12:39 AM
and im nervous for that
12:39 AM
but im hoping i'll be strong enough by the end of quarantine to say no
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:39 AM
That's super tough. Do you think they'll respect your decision?
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yeah they definitely will, they did last summer when i was sober for a while - but we all have historically used it as a way to celebrate
12:42 AM
and i think that's the part i still need to mentally severe
12:43 AM
like stop viewing weed as way to treat myself
12:43 AM
do you have any general advice being so long sober yourself?
12:44 AM
my other issue is that my friends and brother have more control over their weed habit whereas i always spiral out of control no matter how hard i've tried to moderate
12:44 AM
so i tend to think if they can do it why can't i
12:44 AM
but i can't
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:44 AM
A lot, I guess, it's hard to narrow it down to like, ONE BIG THING, but
12:45 AM
First thing is that if it's about self-control then you're setting yourself up, because no one can control themselves all the time. You have to try to factor out self control as much as you can. Plan ahead meticulously, almost weirdly. anticipate social situations and rehearse what you'll say, think of down time and what you'll do, etc...be a planner
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that's some great advice
12:47 AM
fortunately my roommate and i have had a long rule about not smoking inside so i will just not go outside with them when they go to smoke in the future
12:47 AM
or will try to
12:48 AM
i love this discord and sub because i need a way to remind myself in a month or two that i'm not stronger and that i still won't be able to manage it
12:48 AM
whereas in the past i always have
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:49 AM
Great. Think things through -- like it's the afternoon, you're home alone, you have an unbelievable craaving, almost unbearable, you know exactly where your brother's pen is. All you have to do is take a hit. What will you do! You need to know, and have backups, because you'll get in that situation. You'll get in every situation given enough time. So you need to have plans.
12:51 AM
Yeah, the old "you've proved to yourrself you can quit, so now you can smoke!" is tactic one for your habit to manipulate you.
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my biggest motivation has been traveling, the last 3 times i've traveled i've not had access to weed and i've just become such a horrible person who can't eat, isn't pleasant to be around, and generally its ruined the trips
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:54 AM
lol, yeah, it will be nice to get that back. And you should have a little more money left over too.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:56 AM
Okay hydeta, I'll be closing this up in a few minutes. but I'll reopen at ten for our last test. I've really enjoyed chatting with you! I hope we can get some momentum going on this, I think it would be a great addition!
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I love your work @Moderator -- Subduction
12:57 AM
Thanks for this again
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 12:57 AM
Thanks Matty! I'm glad you came by!
12:59 AM
Okay folks, I'll be back at 10pm for our last hour! Thanks again!
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Closing...
1:00 AM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
1:00 AM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
3:00 AM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:00 AM
Hello all! Welcome to Leaves Lounge!
3:00 AM
We'll be open for the next hour, so please say hello!
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It's just me again lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:01 AM
Ha! Happy to have you hotdog. 🙂
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Well ,since we last spoke I wanted to know more about the direction you see this channel going in
3:03 AM
Do you think text is more or equally effective as voice chat, do you envision this ever being totally open or are structures meetings the way to go, and what made you think this was a good idea?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:04 AM
Well, I'm pretty conservative about Leaves mission, and protective of the group and its dynamic, so I don't take change, or additions lightly.
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good. Lots of subs go to shit because people like to mess around too much or mods just plain don't care
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:05 AM
What I notice is that people do seem to take to this medium. AA has an excellent server that I modelled some of our features on. And they have an active community there.
3:06 AM
The pressing factor for me is that everything, really everything, needs to be a controlled environment to a level not seen by regular users.
3:07 AM
At leaves we have trolls, people who don't share our mission, people who are angry and having a bad time, people who want to push other drugs, and people who want to market products, and they are all taken out to keep the place what it is.
3:07 AM
So If I can't control this the way we control that then I won't be interested. If we can get a mod team in place to keep this conformant with our values of kindness and support, then I'm happy to pursue it.
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Makes sense
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:09 AM
I'm taking this one step at a time. I've set up a channel for formal meetings, but I'm not sure the group is ready for that yet. So I think we'll start with an on-topic chat channel and see where it goes.
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I have read some horror stories about moderating and I don't think i;d have the patience for it
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:09 AM
It does take patience. But there are only so many names you can be called in a day. 🙂
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Haha nice. I bet you have to deal with a lot of CBD people. I think there is an MLM that sells CBD now too so that could get aggressive
3:11 AM
I don't think that's helpful for people trying to cut the habit
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:12 AM
We do, it's probably the biggest thing we remove. But we're not anti-CBD, it's just outside our scope. My feeling is, though, that any person dealing with addiction should be suspicious of being attracted to something so close to their smoking experience. It's like an alcoholic suddenly taking an interested in eating hops...
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I think eating hops makes you trip balls though so that's taking things to a new level
3:13 AM
But yes, suspicious.
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:13 AM
lol -- something I never tried. ONe more thing I missed out on!
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I worked in a halfway house for a little while and I'd see people who were on heroin start huffing. It's not a good look.
3:14 AM
Anything to replace that drug-sized hole in your heart
3:14 AM
Months had passed and suddenly grown ass women would stumble in smelling like gasoline
3:14 AM
and I've subbed weed for alcohol a few times
3:14 AM
just makes me want to smoke
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:15 AM
Yeah, when I was using I made what seemed like a very reasonable decision to replace all the drugs I was using with just heroin. Managed to get into rehab before implementing that plan.
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Yeah the 'good;' thing about heroin is it gets rid of all your little problems and replaces them with one huge one
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:16 AM
lol. Exactly.
3:16 AM
I had to quit drinking. Not sure I'm analcoholic, but I sure want to smoke when I drink, so I had to quit.
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Nah I get it
3:17 AM
I am genetically inclined to be an alcoholic and I have tested that a few times
3:17 AM
It's not helpful
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:18 AM
Yup, that's the only hard science we know about addiction. For all the theories and gurus and Ted talks, the only thing we know for sure is that the predisposition to addiction is genetic.
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That scares the shit out of me the older I get
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:20 AM
Why as you get older?
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Addiction feels more real
3:20 AM
in my early 20s I felt like I was just doing things that adventurous young ladies do
3:21 AM
and then I started blacking out when I drank, or started smoking by myself when I was in a bad mood
3:21 AM
and seeing my dad smoke all day every day
3:22 AM
is a huge bummer
3:22 AM
It stops being cute
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:23 AM
Yeah, I didn't quit until I was 34 and felt the same way. I was hiding that life from my kind, normal friends, and then smoking/drugs became my life, so I was hiding everything from my kind, normal friends. It felt terrible.
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I try desperately to hide it from my work, from most of my friends, even from my boyfriend who lives with me because it was just so much.
3:23 AM
He'd be like "wow you smoked all of that already?!"
3:24 AM
We went on a run to Colorado at the end of January and picked up well over an ounce or high grade stuff
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:24 AM
Yeah, I lost a ton of girlfriends back in the day because, to their credit, they weren't ready to put up with my shit.
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and it was gone in a month
3:24 AM
I think there was a moment or two where it was cool and fun but that moment has been gone for so long
3:25 AM
I feel like a loser when I smoke now'
3:25 AM
and honestly, I realized it was more and more of an issue because I started to become really good at hiding it
3:26 AM
If I told people I worked with or people I went to school with how much I smoked they would be shocked
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:26 AM
I was a secret smoker too. When I finally told people I was in rehab people freaked out. They thought I was joking.
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Hah ok that's a good reality check for me
3:27 AM
it's 8:30 here and this is the hardest part of my whole day to get through without weed
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:27 AM
I had to ask them: When was the last time you called me at night and actually talked to me? How many times did I "not hear the phone" or was "in the bathtub" or " saw you called but forgot to call you back?" It had been years
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Yeah I flake out so hard too
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:28 AM
Do you have weed now?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:29 AM
And it's a ways away to get more, you said?
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Arguably I do have access to resin but it's been a long time since I stooped that low
3:29 AM
Yeah like a huge drive to a state that is currently in lockdown
3:29 AM
so idk if the yare even open
3:29 AM
Quarantine rules for these purposes
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:30 AM
Can you get rid of the resin? You say you wouldn't stoop that low, but if it gets bad enough you might, and then you'll feel worse about your situation and who you are, and that's a cycle, ya know? Can you head that off at the pass, like your boyfriend cleans your gear or something?
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I'll ask him
3:30 AM
you are right
3:31 AM
it;s grossing me out thinking about it though lol
3:31 AM
thank goodness
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:32 AM
Yup, but I speak as someone who has nearly set his bong on fire trying to get something to generate smoke, anything, when his plug flaked. 🙂
3:32 AM
So...
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yeah I am not above that. Like I said Ive had a few "day 1"s this week
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:33 AM
You said that this is your most challenging time? at night?
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Yeah I loved to smoke after work was totally done
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:34 AM
Me too. What's your plan for the next two weeks? Besides just suffering!
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Lots of exercise
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:34 AM
What would you do when you got high at night?
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Also just trying to distract myself with little stuff. Just got a new guitar in the mail so ima start getting back into that
3:35 AM
I would literally just sit on the couch and watch TV and eat
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:35 AM
I am living proof you don't have to get high for that. 🙂 Guitar is a great step!
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Yeah, I am also way better at videogames sober so me and my xbox are gonna be best buds for a while
3:36 AM
I also think that just taking a little too much melatonin and just passing out early gets me by as well
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:37 AM
What time do you usually go to bed? Another option is if night is your problem, then just shorten it considerably for awhile. Start going to bed much earlier and getting up much earlier. Give your cravings less time to eat away at you.
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Yeah that's in the plan
3:38 AM
I might just go to bed after this
3:38 AM
I am pissed at myself for going 4 days last week then ruining it
3:38 AM
and I know I ruined it because I was tired and cranky that 5th day
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:38 AM
Sounds good. What was the specific situation in which you gave in?
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I was exhausted because I woke up like 5 times the night before
3:40 AM
I know if I can make it past 2 weeks a lot of my physical and psychological problems will mellow out but holy hell it's so hard
3:40 AM
like, why does weed make you sweat if it's "not addictive"?
3:40 AM
ridiculous.
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:41 AM
My strong suggestion is that you don't worry about two weeks, just worry about today. Your entire goal should be to go today without smoking. Get up in the morning, tell yourself you are not going to smoke. If it gets super bad and you feel like you have to smoke you can, but it has to be tomorrow. then get up tomorrow and promise yourself the same thing.
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Yeah that's rough but youre right
3:43 AM
I try to see through to when things might feel better but that can sometimes make me feel hopeless about the present
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:43 AM
"One day at a time" isn't just some saying, like "take it slow!" It is a rock hard strategy for not screwing yourself up. Just focus on today. I've been not smoking today, but maybe tomorrow, for 21 years now. 🙂
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That's a long time!!
3:43 AM
I'd like to be there someday
3:43 AM
or close
3:43 AM
but 1 day is good for now
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:44 AM
I'm no 12-step guy, but AA has a phrase that goes "Don't look up, don't look down." Don't focus on the future, don't look at how far you have come, just focus on right now. The rest will take care of itself.
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Yeah there are some pretty good nuggets of wisdom in that AA stuff but I always got turned off by the higher power stuff. I think it has a way of pushing certain types of stubborn people out.
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:49 AM
Yeah, I'm not a religion person either, but what the higher power thing does address that's important is that it isn't you. For some reason the last thing addicts hold onto is this arrogance that they still have all the answers, they just need to get things a little more organized and they'll be fine. The higher power thing is 12-step's way of saying "you need to stop holding the wheel for a little while and let yourself be helped." That's hard for a lot of people in trouble.
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I can see thatr
3:50 AM
I am gonna head out and NOT smoke weed tonight
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:50 AM
Alright!
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thanks again for being around, let me know if there is specific feedback o nthis you might be looking for
3:51 AM
If you find you might want mods down the road let me know if I can help. As long as my state is tellign me to stay home, I will be looking for ways to spend my days
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:51 AM
Thank you, I think we'll take it easy for now. I'll try to do an hour a day and see how it washes out, but as thoughts occur feel free to PM me.
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Thanks and have a great night 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/04/2020 3:51 AM
That's great, I will put you on the list.
3:51 AM
Thanks, you to! 🙂
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
4:00 AM
Closing...
4:00 AM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 AM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:01 PM
Hi everybody! This Leaves experiment is officially open! If you'd like to, please feel free to say hello...
4:04 PM
Some of you may know me -- I'm Subduction and I started this thing 9 years ago.
4:05 PM
I had ten years of smoking as much as I could every day, and now I have 21 years quit.
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What's up @Moderator -- Subduction ! Thank you for setting up this discord, I know for myself this will be helpful on my journey and more than likely others too! I'm on day 14 of sobriety, I was a consistent smoker since the age of 14 with small hiatuses in between. Like others I've struggled with quitting but this time I have really high hopes on staying strong.
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:11 PM
14 days is awesome. It's when you really start to feel it though. I had my first real quitting crisis between two and four weeks. How are you feeling?
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That's what I've been reading on reddit this is one of the hardest times. Honestly I've been really emotional lately, like all the feelings I've been burying is coming up.
4:17 PM
A plus and negative side I've noticed are my dreams. They've been so vivid it's crazy what my mind has been coming up with lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:17 PM
Definitely. I think your brain starts to realize that you're not kidding around. It's not a break, so it starts to fight back. 🙂
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Makes it difficult with all your stoner friends wishing you a happy 420
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Thanks so much for setting this up @Moderator -- Subduction , 21 years is a serious inspiration! I'm only on day 5, I've been doing edibles for about 3 years and in the past year and a half I've been a daily user. Tried quitting once about six months ago but I wasn't serious about it, treated it more like a drug hiatus. I'm holding myself accountable this time. Weed's not bringing anything helpful to my life and I don't even enjoy it anymore.
4:19 PM
Seriously, glad this is starting on 4/20, I hate feeling like the buzzkill telling my friends not to make 4/20 jokes around me
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If it makes you feel better from a non stoner friend, happy 4/20 @Sandwich !
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Same here Bondomatic! Last night I had the most vivid dream in years, it was so surreal
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:19 PM
Thanks @Lauren! 5 is great!
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Just as in it's going to be a good day not for smoking lol
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Let's hope lol. Honestly I'd rather this lockdown just be over so I can just have a pint nina pub for my birthday in a few days. I miss the simple things I took for granted by being baked out my mind all the time
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:21 PM
Yeah, the advantage is that we have a good 4/20 and we remember it the next day.
4:21 PM
When's your birthday Sandwich?
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So true Subduction, first 4/20 I'm spending in a few years not in a vegetable haze
4:22 PM
Happy early birthday! 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:22 PM
I'm the 22nd
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@Lauren thank you! @Moderator -- Subduction happy Birthday to you as well lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:22 PM
🙂
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Have any of you tried picking up any new hobbies to preoccupy your time?
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I've been wanting to! I was thinking of something like knitting? It seems easy to get into and I feel like I want something mindless to do while doing activities I used to be high for, like watching movies
4:26 PM
Have you picked up anything? It's also a little hard during quarantine... I was intending to buy a new bike but I have no idea where to get one nowadays lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:27 PM
My wife knits and loves it. You don't have to be some awesome knitter to get satisfaction out of it.
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I find reading books/comics can help you stop clock watching and helps you lost a little time if you can get into something. Also started lifting at home again now I've got some energy back I'm hoping itll stop me staying awake all night because I've actually done something with the day
4:28 PM
*lose
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Knitting would be a great hobby! My fingers aren't nimble enough for it but its definitely one you could do while just watching TV.
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:29 PM
I'm learning 3D modeling in Fusion 360 and learning python. Want to try to justify to my wife that I deserve a 3D printer. I agree with the losing time part -- you've really found something when you realize you've been at it for a few hours. Your brain has been too occupied to crave anything but what you're doing.
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Oh that's a great idea Sandwich, I loved lifting when I was still able to go to the gym! How extensive is your home setup?
4:29 PM
I think I'll check out some beginner's knitting supplies today! I also like that I'll have a finished product... first ones will probably look like shit, but it'll be something I never would have made while being stoned all the time!
4:30 PM
Oh Subduction that's awesome, I've been meaning to learn python for my job! Are you teaching yourself?
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2 dumbbells haha, I used to work beneath a gym so never needed stuff at home, it was just what I got to start with st like 16
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Exactly and you could use those leaf funds towards purchasing knitting supplies. And that's been good @Sandwich for working out. Sweating helps the detox process and gives you those feel good vibes!
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:31 PM
Yup @Lauren , just diving in from web page tutorials. I used to code a long time ago, but haven't in years so it's a wrestling match with my brain.
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What did you use to code before? @Moderator -- Subduction I've taken a few classes in html and css before and it seems easy just tedious remembering all the little rules.
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Honestly forgot I didnt get high this morning when I danced to the shower, which I'd have never done sober before. The rush elevated me like a mini high i just caught myself mid beat like what the fuck just happened to me haha
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This is a little silly but I've also been playing Animal Crossing, there's just something really cathartic about taking things day by day and planting flowers, and none of my lil animal villagers smoke and they all believe in me haha
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I've picked up on drawing a bit more and tried to get into music production but my brain is refusing to work with me on it lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:34 PM
I started one of the first web design companies back in the day, so it was mostly perl, then javascript. HTML and CSS were part of it the whole way.
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@Sandwich that's awesome and so inspiring! I gotta look for things that I normally don't do while high, I've seen a lot of posts on the sub about beautiful things in nature people are starting to notice, but that's a great idea to notice beautiful things about yourself 🙂
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@IssaBLR I can imagine creative things like that can try to trick you into thinking youd be better at it high
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@Sandwich I've been loving those little happy moments, I've been walking outside more and just standing there and looking at everything in awe. And there is the tendency to think those negative thoughts but then I remember the times when I tried to do that and never working out.
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:36 PM
One of the best things I saw someone say on Leaves about the frustration of things like listening to music, gaming, or seeing movies when you were used to doing them high was "Remember, you didn't use the high to improve the music, you used the music to improve the high..."
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@Lauren thanks :)
4:38 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I actually cant play video games or listen to some music right now because I think that voice would be way too strong. I haven't played a video game sober in years
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Yes exactly! I would get so inspired, smoke, and then end up spending my time watching tutorials on YouTube and get nothing done. And not even remembering anything I've just watched.
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Weirdly I can still listen to rap, I used to think they endorsed alot of drugs while high but listening sober they sound like they condemn them or at least speak truthfully about them
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:39 PM
@Sandwich Really good to know your limits. You'll get back there, but you need to be on a solid footing first.
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@Sandwich that's why I think doing new things is a good thing to do now, gives you new experiences to think about instead of the old ones. What artists do you listen to?
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@IssaBLR yeah that inspiring invincible feeling lasts like 20 minutes then it's just longing out for hours lol
4:41 PM
Oh god I listen to loads of different stuff idk really with rap I listen to like east coast wu, tang nas or more modern stuff like run the jewels
4:41 PM
Fuck the man music yknow
4:42 PM
*wu tang, nas
4:42 PM
*mongong jesus I cant type today
4:42 PM
Typo in my correction lol fuck it
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Yeah those groups have a higher conscience to them so I can understand where youre coming from about them condemning drug use.
4:45 PM
Joyner Lucas has been a rapper I've been listening to, some of his songs inspire me not to be the guy who does nothing with his life and just smokes all day.
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I'll give him a go, sounds exactly what I need haha
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"Just like you" is the song is the gut punch that I think some of us needs sometimes especially if you have kids
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:49 PM
Hey all -- if you don't mind me asking, where are you folks from? I'm trying to get a feel for what time zones people are in...
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I'm from Indiana in the midwest USA, idk my time zone but its 11:50 right now lol
4:50 PM
AM
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:51 PM
lol, yup, Eastern Daylight Time US. Same as me in Arlington, VA
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South east England
4:52 PM
Dont tell the police
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:53 PM
lol
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I'm in upstate New York, EST
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:55 PM
Great -- I'd like ot get as many of these going as there's a call for, but we have Leaves members all over the world -- Australia is an active place for us, so we'll work on getting mod coverage.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Good luck everyone! Stay focused
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 4:58 PM
On my part, I'm very encouraged to see people here, and this first session was really fun. It's like the very early days of Leaves, I feel like this could turn into a great place.
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This was really great, thanks for hosting this Subduction!
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I agree fully, I was excited to see a discord being made for the group because I use the app a lot. Again thank you @Moderator -- Subduction for giving us this great resource!
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 5:00 PM
Thanks everybody! We'll be back at 5pm, see you soon!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
Avatar
⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
10:01 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:01 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
Avatar
Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hi everybody! I'll kick things off. For those who haven't had something modded out by me (yet) I'm Subduction, I was a ten year as-much-as-I-could everyday smoker, and now I'm on Day 7950! 4/20 has less power for me because it didn't become a thing until after I quit, but I'd love to hear how you all are doing. Say hello!
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Hello all! Stoner of 13 years, clean for a little over a year now.
10:05 PM
Got some big birthday plans in the works?
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:06 PM
Lol, my wife has been hiding things as they come in, so who knows 🙂
10:06 PM
Probably a great dinner, she's a terrific cook and I'm the beneficiary.
10:07 PM
I'm not exactly outdoorsy, so this quarantine isn't really affecting me personally as much as it might otherwise.
10:08 PM
If anyone out there feels comfortable sharing where they're coming in from it would really help -- I'd like to set a schedule that works for everyone, so knowing where in the world people are would help...
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Nebraska here
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:10 PM
Arlington, VA for me...
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hi everyone I use to smoke all day everyday for about a year before I realized it was causing a lot of harm and now ive been clean for almost 90 days
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But that sounds like an awesome birthday plan @Moderator -- Subduction what's the meal plan for the birthday dinner?
10:12 PM
Hello again I have been smoking for 10 years but not today since I'm on day 14 of sobriety, sorry if redundant I didn't know if we had to reintroduce ourselves lol
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today's been a little tough since all my friends are getting high rn
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:13 PM
@IssaBLR You don't have to, but since this is new it's great if you do.
10:13 PM
@Alicia 90 days is awesome!
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@Alicia same here a lot of my friends like to partake on this "holiday" as well. But congrats on 90 days!
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:14 PM
It is amazing how much the social aspects are tied up in how we feel @Alicia
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thank you guys
10:15 PM
yeah definitely
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As people that have abused weed, we definitely have a warped view about 4/20. I've had to relearn how to be a freaking regular person and part of that is 4/20 being just another day.
10:15 PM
Normal people dgaf about 4/20
10:16 PM
Look at /r/all, there is nothing about 4/20 up there
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How has everyone's day been and what's everyone been up to? Yes exactly my wife who didnt really smoke ever mentioned that today was only Monday to her lol
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today's been ok idk im just trying to stay busy what about you?
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:19 PM
I've been trying to configure reddit automod all day, so I hope you guys have found something more stimulating...
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Same for me, my sisters birthday is ironically today so we're celebrating that rn. Other than that I went on a run and have been drawing random stuff lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:20 PM
Are you an artist, @IssaBLR , or just learning?
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Just learning, I used to draw all the time when I was a kid and decided to pick up the hobby again. (edited)
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Learned Supertramp's song Long Way Home this morning, was my uncle's fav band lol
👍 3
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:23 PM
My BrotheriL just gave me a guitar, I need to pick it back up again.
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I've only heard the one song gym class heroes sampled off of but I love that song lol what instrument? @Gorgoleon
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I do some jamming with friends. Mainly bluegrass, oldtime, and irish folk stuff. Gonna try to get us to play Long Way Home and do it up somehow
10:24 PM
Learned on guitar but I have a bunch of stuff haha
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That's awesome I saw fender is offering 3 months of free lessons if anyone is interested.
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:26 PM
I have various instruments here, but it's something I used to do when I was high, and even after all these years I haven't reattempted recording/composing straight.
10:26 PM
I'm a trumpet player
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Practicing is definitely a habit you have to work on. Very rewarding, tho.
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:31 PM
You got link filtered! Congrats @Gorgoleon , you're the first ever mod bot trigger!
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Glad to start a proud tradition lol
10:32 PM
Was gonna link to an imgur pic of my living room instrument stash at the moment
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:32 PM
Yeah, I was supposed to be a trumpet player for a living. I went to music school and the whole deal, but didn't love it as a profession. Love it as a hobby.
10:33 PM
Nice - I wonder if I can post is as an admin: https://i.imgur.com/ajfmaWF.jpg
10:33 PM
Yup
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Cool, yeah I collect deals off craigslist. Don't have any electrics in the living room atm
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:34 PM
So would anyone listening like to say hello? Does anyone here have under a week?
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You got quite the collection there! @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:35 PM
That's @Gorgoleon 's! I posted the image because we block links
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You do any playing or anything, @IssaBLR ?
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Oh my fault i was about to say you have a lot of guitars for someone wanting to learn lol well @Gorgoleon that is an awesome collection It's a dream of mine to learn the banjo one day
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Hey yall! so happy I found this community. I'm 36hrs sober and grateful for it 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:37 PM
Hey @~*ALiCiA*~ , welcome!
10:37 PM
36 hours is great. How long did you smoke for?
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Welcome and glad to hear that!
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@IssaBLR I grew up playing the banjo but don't have one currently. taking everything in me not to purchase one right now
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congrats on 36 hrs!
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I've got 4 banjos haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:38 PM
There seems to be an emerging banjo underground at r/leaves.
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3 in storage, tho 😦
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@IssaBLR its such a fun instrument!
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Hey what's up @~*ALiCiA*~ glad to have you here! And @Gorgoleon besides a few riffs and chords on both the electric and acoustic I'm not super versed in guitar playing
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thanks for putting this together @Moderator -- Subduction
10:38 PM
10 years as a functioning addict and stoner
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Banjo is fun af to learn and play. There's dozens of different ways to play it. Very cool instrument.
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been in program for others and marijuanna is the last to go 🙂
10:38 PM
@Gorgoleon ah!!! FOUR! amazing. I think next time I want an open back
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:39 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ Wow, 36 hours is quite an achievement after that much time.
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I took the back off my daily driver haha. You know what sounds good!
10:39 PM
I usually play a clawhammer style
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It seems so fun I would love to just sit on a porch and play the night away. I heard it's a lot tougher on the fingers though, is that true? (edited)
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@Moderator -- Subduction hey thanks! I really appreciate the words. I think I'm just so burned out at this point? it's just time 🙂
10:40 PM
@Gorgoleon what styles of banjo do you play? I only really learned scruggs
10:41 PM
clawhammer yes I imagine but scruggs is all finger picks
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:41 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ , yup, as the AA folks say, "sick and tired of being sick and tired."
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Depends on how you want to play. I've seen pics of people's banjos having bloood on them after a show because their fingers were bleeding from their playing. That's not going to happen when you're just playing on the back porch, though lol
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@Moderator -- Subduction exactly !!
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:42 PM
The greater question here is do banjos drive people to smoking, or does smoking drive people to banjos?
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lol quite the thing to have in common haha
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"I've got blisters on my fingers!" Lol but I'll definitely have to look into getting one one day.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I usually play a frailing or clawhammer style. I recommend checking out Clifton Hicks cover of the song Cuckoo. Very similar to that. Easy to just chill and jam out and be sort of a one man band haha
10:45 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction There's definitely a hidden link lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:45 PM
Listening now -- it's nice!
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o0o0ohh I'll definitely check that out!
10:46 PM
adding now!
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It's an easier style to learn than Scruggs style. Scruggs style takes a looot of practice for me lol
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wait so @Moderator -- Subduction how often do you imagine this discord to be open? sorry if you've said this elsewhere. this is my first time using discord
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:51 PM
No worries @~*ALiCiA*~ -- at the moment I'm holding it down myself, so I'm hoping to stay with twice a day. But we need at least one mod available whenever it's open. I'm working on a scheduling app now where people can sign up to be mods. But for now, twice a day at 11 and 5 Eastern time
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@~*ALiCiA*~ When were your main smoking times?
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okay right on!
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sup guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:52 PM
I'd also like to start a more structured meeting, where there is one speaker at a time and we stay very much on topic, but I thought I'd get the group used to Discord first.
10:52 PM
Hi @Deleted User ! Welcome!
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Yeah, apologize for getting massively offtopic lol
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Thank you!
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@Gorgoleon all day honestly during quarantine but when at work only in the evenings.
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you just opened up again?
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Welcome @Deleted User !
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What's up @Deleted User! How you doing?
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@Moderator -- Subduction like following AA standards in a way?
10:53 PM
I think that sounds great
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Doing good guys, 30 days off weed tomorrow, bored with the quarantine, how about you?
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:54 PM
@Deleted User We opened up at 5pm, and we'll be closing up in about seven minutes, but we'll be back in the morning at 11am Eastern time
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congrats @Deleted User !! that seems like forever in my eyes. nicely done 🙂
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Alright @Moderator -- Subduction are you guys in Europe?
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:54 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ Exactly -- inspired by their Discord server text meetings, which I think are great
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Congrats on 30 days! That's double my time. Catch me in 15 days where you're at lol
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suddenly you'll just be there, just gotta hang in there you know what I mean
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'll have to check those out. I had no idea about discord till I found r/leaves
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:55 PM
30 days is great @Deleted User
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withdrawal is the worst part!
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Worse than learning to go to sleep without getting high? haha
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Oh man oh man yeah nothing beats that
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@Deleted User I'm 36hrs in, haven't felt anything yet beyond headaches but I know its coming for me
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where are you guys from
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Nebraska
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I'm with you there with the constant mood swings and insomnia it's crazy. But it's somewhat invigorating not having to smoke every single hour of the day.
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:57 PM
I'm in DC
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Indiana
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I split time between New Orleans and Los Angeles. Currently in New Orleans.
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know the feel with the mood swings and insomnia bruv
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:58 PM
Where are you @Deleted User ?
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especially when u hit those mood swings and you wanna smoke up, that's when u gotta take a step back and think why u are quitting
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I got some melatonin but only going to use when absolutely necessary
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Im over in Denmark
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:59 PM
Awesome, my sister lived in Denmark for many years.
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Yes I think exactly that, and if i do smoke again it's like i have to do it all over again. Not worth it yk?
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:59 PM
Hey, I hate to cut this off, but it's time to wrap up!
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aw ok!
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Yeah im with you bro
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Nice to meet you all! I'll see you over on /r/Leaves when I gotta drop that banhammer haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 10:59 PM
We'll be back on the air at 11am eastern time tomorrow, and if we can add mods we'll add more times.
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hit me up if you'd like to talk tho, later all
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Alright nice talking to you
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Awesome to talk to you guys again! Stay safe and stay strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 11:00 PM
Thanks everybody, see you tomorrow!
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sounds great! talk to yall tomorrow!
11:00 PM
thanks for doing this @Moderator -- Subduction !!
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eastern time = east coast time?
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Moderator -- Subduction 20/04/2020 11:00 PM
Yes -- UTC-4
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aight sound mate, cya then
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Closing...
11:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:00 PM
Good morning everybody!
4:00 PM
(If it's morning for you)
4:01 PM
How's everybody today? Any check-ins and updates?
4:03 PM
For those of you who haven't met me yet, I'm Subduction, and I kicked off r/leaves nine years ago. I was a functional, then non-functional addict and every day smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit.
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Good Morning!! on Day 3 of sobriety. yay! Today I woke up finally feeling symptoms of withdrawal. I almost feel stoned in a way but taking my time, acknowledging the phantom body pain, and moving forward with my day. Took my vitamins and drinking lots of water!
4:06 PM
Had THE most insane dreams but have been journaling about them all morning
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Good morning, people! A bit over a year quit for me. I've been one of Subduction's minions (moderators) for over 3 years now and love the community ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:06 PM
Hey @~*ALiCiA*~ ! Sorry about the withdrawal kicking in, but that means you're healing!
4:06 PM
Morning @Gorgoleon !
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Good morning everyone! I'm on Day 15 of sobriety and still going strong. Prior to 10 years smoking on and off and deciding now it's time to quit.
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:07 PM
Hey @IssaBLR -- good to see you back!
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Glad to hear you've hit 3 days, @~*ALiCiA*~
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:07 PM
Banjo Mafia representing today
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@~*ALiCiA*~ that's a good idea to journal those dreams! I'll have vivid dreams of monsters and stuff (thanks to horror movies) so as soon as I have one of these dreams I'll try to draw out the monster lol
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Question for folks: how did you mainly smoke/intake marijuana and what were your withdrawal symptoms like?
4:08 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction HAHA! Hey yall!
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We run these streetz
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@IssaBLR oooh I love that! (not the monster dream part) Mine always have a boat/car/train element to them. Dream version of me is always on the run haha
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Yes, the vivid dreams are a total trip.
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Hey guys, good morning!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:10 PM
I was all bong hits. I went to rehab so I had psych meds, but most of my withdrawal was mood related. I think I felt so physically terrible by the time I got into rehab I'm not sure I'd notice physical symptoms, but I alternated between non-functional depression and complete panic.
4:10 PM
Morning @Lauren !
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I was edibles only, I never smoked because my mom had lung cancer. I'm only on day 6, I had a pretty severe dizzy headache on day 3, but since then it's just been cravings. It's hard to tell if my depressed moods are because of withdrawal or just my anxiety/depression being worse in quarantine... which I'd been sweeping under the rug by getting high all the time
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@Moderator -- Subduction ahhh okay that makes sense
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I smoked as soon as I got up waking up 2 hours before I had to go to work and then right after work. I just used a bowl. But so far my biggest withdrawal symptoms were mood swings, crazy dreams, and headaches/cloudy thoughts. It's getting a bit better on all of them. Excerice helps out with the emotions and headaches a bit.
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My main method of using was smoking my pipe while gaming on the PC. Weed was the great enabler of everything. I'd spend all day getting high, playing games, browsing the internet, eating junk food, and all that bad stuff. Once I got off the weed I can't stand to play a game for more than 15-20 minutes at a time before I get bored.
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:13 PM
The weird part is that I vividly remember my Pink Cloud -- I was standing on 102nd and Broadway in New York, and all of a sudden I felt optimism for the first time in years. It was like a drug in itself. I never felt it in quite that way again, but I've used it to motivate me.
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And good morning @Lauren !
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@Lauren oooh thats so real re: mood and quarantine. I realized smoking weed was exacerbating some ptsd which was exacerbated by quarantine and it just made me spiral so it was time to quit all together. It's nice to hear youve been able to keep moving forward!
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@Moderator -- Subduction What a great sentiment! How long ago was that/how long after quitting did you feel that?
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I began to think of myself as kind of a monkey in a laboratory experiment, where you press a button and get a fat shot of dopamine in your brain. That button was very real, though. It was the button on my lighter to spark the bowl. It also made every other button even better, like the internet or video game buttons.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Right! Like I'm sure getting high was just making the lows lower when I'd let myself feel them. Today's the day the last of my edibles are leaving the house and I couldn't be more excited! It felt like giving away a child which is how I knew they had to go
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'm loving those small moments and I feel like I can get what you're saying. I never had the full mind clarity experience like the pink cloud reference you mention, but I'll catch myself feeling content especially if I'm outside and it's a nice day. It's a feeling of optimism and motivation letting me know I'm doing the right thing.
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@IssaBLRgood to hear its getting better so quickly! I kept reading these month long symptoms and it was making me worried.
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@Gorgoleon That's a super powerful analogy, I really like that! Ironically I'm a drug addiction researcher... and yet I never thought about comparing myself to my subjects, I think that's really going to help me
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@Moderator -- Subduction wow! pink cloud? I've never heard that before
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:16 PM
I think it was probably two months after I quit. A testament to how powerful it was is that I still remember it 21 years later. On the flip side, after thirty days I had a major crisis in faith. I think I hadn't been putting in the work on replacing my habit with more engaging things, and my brain figured out that this was supposed to be for good and fought back. Didn't relapse, but just barely...
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Also, the button starts to wear out the more you press it. It doesn't give the same results as it used to so you're always looking for a better button to press.
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@Moderator -- Subductionhaving been in recovery/program for other things - I never realized how important spirituality was till recently
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@Lauren TY, I'm glad it made sense lol
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@Gorgoleon that's wild about video games. I assume you don't partake anymore? what have you reoplaced that time with?
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:18 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ Yeah, Pink Cloud is common enough that it has a name in recovery. You have a moment where you feel almost unreasonably, manically happy after you have quit for awhile. It can be dangerous because it always comes to an end, and that's a prime time for a relapse risk.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ it's different for every person so dont let my experience with totally influence your journey, like I said I'm only 15 days in but I do find meditation and exercise to be a key part. But take it all one day at a time that's the main goal!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ If you don't mind me asking, are you religious? I've not religious but I've been trying to find a way to be more spiritual, how did you connect with it?
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@Gorgoleon I like that button reference, I feel like finding something else that gives you the dopamine rush as the weed button is ideal.
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@Moderator -- Subduction oh wow yeah that makes sense.
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:20 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ I'm not religious or even what I'd call spiritual, but I'm a big believer in whatever keeps people on the right track. If someone's faith is a source of strength then that's something to be celebrated.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I've become a very habit driven person. Once I had a paradim shift over the fake happiness that the button offers, I've spent every day trying to unfuck the reward pathways in my Mesolimbic pathway.
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@Lauren I grew up super evangelical southern baptist so I have a huge aversion to it considering it was traumatic at times. I've been reading the power of now, meditating, doing yoga, all that stuff. I'm still new at it and learning more and more but I have definitely had some profound moments that i'd consider spiritual since I started this journey. It's a lot of unpacking for me regarding spirituality.
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Spent years in low paying jobs selling weed on the side, so I'm dealing with the aftermath of that lol
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@Moderator -- Subduction right! and we get to define what it means for ourself
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:22 PM
@here If anyone is lurking we'd love to hear from you. Feel free to introduce yourself and tell us where you are in your quit...
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Hey! Sorry I didn’t know it was open
4:23 PM
Nice to meet you all
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Nice to meet you @Deleted User !
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:23 PM
Hey @Deleted User ! Glad you made it, welcome!
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Cheers guys
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@Gorgoleon "trying to unfuck the reward pathways in my Mesolimbic pathway." sounds like youre reading books or know more about the science of what is going on. are you?
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Yeah I feel you there, my dad's family is Catholic and being a lesbian we never really mixed lol. That's really great, I've been trying to meditate more and get out and just lose myself in nature. Spirituality seems like a deeply personal path and I guess part of that is figuring out how to get started. It's really great to hear that you've found profound moments - especially when I was high my brain would always tell myself that the dumb thoughts I was thinking were profound
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Currently on day 7 after 5 years of abusing it
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hi @Deleted User !!!
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Feel much better anxiety wise and so glad I stopped
4:24 PM
Hey total career girl! (edited)
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Hey @Deleted User ! So nice to meet you and glad you're here!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:24 PM
A week? That's awesome @Deleted User
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Thank you so much x (edited)
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Welcome @Deleted User , glad to hear that!
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@Gorgoleon Ah shit that's part of my research! If you ever want to talk brain stuff I love it
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By day 4 I had the realisation of what I’ve done the last few years
4:25 PM
My wardrobe having the same clothes since 2015
4:25 PM
Was a horrible wake up call but I’d choose that over carrying on with that habit any day
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@Lauren oh gosh I totally feel that about being high + having moments of spirituality!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:26 PM
@Deleted User , Yeah, me getting married after 52 years of bachelorhood had the same effect on my wardrobe... 🙂
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wow congrats @Deleted User
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Realised I’m saving almost £5000 a year
4:27 PM
Spiralled out of control the last 2/3 years definitely, before it was only with friends so it wasn’t too bad
4:27 PM
Thought it was “helping me”
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:27 PM
Yeah, it helps a lot of people. Not me though. (edited)
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@Deleted User That's an incredible accomplishment after five years of use, congrats!
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When I was sober I wanted to be high and when I was high I wanted to be sober
4:28 PM
Thank you Lauren
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That's enough money to buy you some super fresh clothes! Lol and I was the same way. I felt like my brain was always going crazy and weed helped calmed it down. In the end I figured out it maybe the weed causing the issues in the first place.
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Man that hits home with me bond
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Absolutely feel you on that Ham Mouse... that was my last time getting high, spent it in a depressed panic that I couldn't do anything and just wanted to be sober. I keep trying to remember that whenever I have cravings
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My days would revolve around when the dealer was free, I’d even sleep throughout the day to make sure I could meet him later on
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Yup. Ever feel like you're a crackhead for weed? lol
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Every day I was on it
4:29 PM
Alone anyway
4:30 PM
With friends I thought it was better as all were chipping in and sharing say 2g between 3
4:30 PM
After it became 3.5 a day alone
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I've read lots of posts about people digging through trash or dumpsters for their stash that they threw away the night before. That's why you always use the flush method when ditching your stash lol
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Yep I've spent my days waiting by the phone waiting for my dealer to hit me up. Literally fiending over a phone screen notification, then making a late night trip leaving my family just to pick up the stuff.
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gosh that's so real. I realized that my marijuana use and anxiety had formed some kind of symbiotic relationship.
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The first day off it I scraped my grinder and even the floor to try and find anything
4:30 PM
Felt like I was insane
4:31 PM
By day 4/5 I was able to find some and bin it
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@Deleted User Lots of us have been there bro ❤️
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Scraped it so hard the paint came off
4:31 PM
Thanks Gorg
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:31 PM
I think a lot of us would be surprised at how many carpet fibers we've smoked after a frantic search.
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@Lauren do you have any book recommendations for addiction?
4:31 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction hahahaha omg
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Lmao same with me I would scrape every morsel of resin off my bowl. Just think if we used that tenacity on something productive!
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I found I’d smoke less when I had more and more when I had less
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@Moderator -- Subduction and cat hair...
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Only got a g left? May as well get rid of it!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Lemme dig up suggestions! I was just telling Gorgoleon I think it's great when people with an addiction learn more about the neurological processes of addiction, so they feel like it's less of a moral or personal failing and literally just a chemical process that can happen to anyone
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@Lauren YES! totally agree
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My parents and friends have ‘welcomed me back’ after being so distant from them for years
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@Lauren really helps take the shame away
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My life was just about when the next joint was going to come
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@Deleted User gosh so happy to hear that about your friends and family
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@~*ALiCiA*~ YES I'm right there with you! Going into work and doing research on drug addiction then coming home and feeding mine... it felt like a double life
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It still surprises me now that I’m talking here and the Reddit group without lighting up
4:33 PM
Never thought I’d beat it ever
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@Lauren crazy the kind of blindspots we all have
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Worst part of coming off it was the sleep issues and the excess sweating
4:34 PM
Chamomile tea does wonders for sleep if you’re struggling with it
4:34 PM
But the sweating part I haven’t got a solution for yet
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@Deleted User good to know! becuase I really don't want a melatonin dependency
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@~*ALiCiA*~ when I told the doctors about it they tried getting me on that
4:35 PM
If it wasn’t for that tea, I’d be on sleeping meds for sure
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which just feels like adding a drug to cope with another drug
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Getting over the nightcap is one of the first speed bumps for sure. Sleep comes easier with that warm glow.
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First few nights I only had 3 hours sleep, with the tea and my body adjusting I’m now on 8 hours a night
4:38 PM
Have to change my shirts 3 to 4 times a day due to excess sweat though which I admit is gross
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:38 PM
A member on the group posts a link on insomnia that's a great set of threads on sleep -- you can take a look here (sorry, only I'm allowed to post links...): https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
11 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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Thank you!
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This is an issue I'll have to come to terms with soon once I go back to work. My first week I wouldn't go to bed until 5 in the morning and thankfully I haven't had anywhere to be the next day so when I could sleep I did.
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Yeah first few nights for me was watching the sun come up before even beginning to feel tired
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Definitely would highly recommend The Addicted Brain by Michael Kuhar, really fantastic introduction to the brain and addiction. Unbroken Brain by Maia Szalavitz is also good but in conjunction with others... the author gets a little preachy about their personal opinions and attacks the 12 step method which does work for some. And finally Memoirs of the Addicted Brain by Marc Lewis is one of my all time favorites, a neuroscientist's journey through drug addiction, really hits hard and it's nice hearing about addiction from his perspective
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from that thread - "Lie back flat, roll your eyes back a little bit, breathe deeply, and gently focus on that part of your brain. Repeat in gentle waves. For me, this is like a switch – as soon as I do it (even standing up right now), I start yawning."
4:40 PM
that has worked for me a lot over the years
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I’ll give that a try tonight, thank you
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@Lauren omg omg copying and pasting this into my notes. Thank you SO MUCH. exactly what I've been wanting to read.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I hope they help you! I would love to hear your thoughts!!
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@Lauren I'm looking them up now! ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:43 PM
@here If you're lurking please say hello, we'd love to meet you!
4:44 PM
I'll add to reading amterial, this time for anxiety and depression -- if you haven't run across the book "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns, it's a great start on CBT techniques you can use to help manage mood
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cognitive behavioral therapy?
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:45 PM
Yes. It seems a little crazy at first, like "wait, I just do that and I'msupposed to magically feel better?" but my experience (and peer-reviewed studied) show it really works. (edited)
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okay great! thanks for the resources you all ❤️
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hey all. just about 3 weeks in after 5 years of going hard. feeling good besides sweating on insane levels. Looking into recent medical research on cannabis withdrawal syndrome has really helped ground my experience with withdrawal and made it easier to battle. yesterday was pretty brutal craving wise but powered thru. proud to be part of this community 👍🏻💪🏻
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Hi @yames wow! three weeks! congrats!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:48 PM
Hey @yames , welcome!
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hey antidote, welcome!! three weeks is amazing, congratulations!! ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:48 PM
21 days is amazing, great work so far!
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What's up @yames 21 days is awesome and I'm happy to meet you!
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Glad to have you here, @yames
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:49 PM
@yames I'm amazed at how often people on Leaves, for years, have reported the same exact physical symptoms, seemingly with no knowledge that anyone else has mentioned them before. Sweating comes up so often.
4:51 PM
We get, maybe, five or six a day on crazy dreams and one or two a day with out-of-control sweating, and a lot of them are like, "uhmm, has anyone else gone through this or is it just me?"
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That nasty weed smelling sweat, so you still smell like weed even tho you haven't smoked lmao
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'm no scientist but the only reason I can think of is that our bodies are wanting to burn fat to release thc that's trapped in our body just to get a lil high? I'm just trying to think of WHY we sweat. idk feels like such a weird irrelevant symptom.
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Is it weird that I enjoy the sweating? I only had two nights where it felt like I was drenched, but after i wake up and take a shower i feel like a new man.
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Haha it doesn’t help that many of us were fed the (very outdated, based on dirt ass weed) idea that it’s not addictive, so it’s easy to feel crazy or deficient in some way when you’re experiencing physical symptoms.
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@IssaBLR hahahaha honestly that makes sense
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Couldn’t agree more Antidote
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@IssaBLR Excellent mindset
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:52 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ Yeah, your body panics when you pull out what's become a biochemical building block. 🙂
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“I can’t be addicted as it’s not addictive!” takes another toke
4:53 PM
Hardest thing I had to come off was Prozac, think weed has been easier than that at least
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@yames absolutely. I selfishly didn't tell my dad that I quit because I don't want him to be right about anything lmao. I'll tell him eventually. not that it's any of his business but...
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:55 PM
Wow, our second day and these hours are just flying by now!
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😂 I feel you.
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@Moderator -- Subduction I know 😦 but grateful for them!
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:56 PM
I'm putting together tools so people can volunteer to be chat mods so we can extend these hours a bit more, so if you're motivated to help stay tuned!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I'm in the same position most of my friends dont really know I've quit, the only people that do are my dealers so they would stop hitting me up. I like the satisfaction for myself in the end.
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@Lauren I just purchased that book by Marc Lewis!
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i've been talking to Gorgoleon about addiction and the brain, and i was wondering if anyone would want a neurosciencey write up about addiction, cravings, and withdrawal symptoms?
4:56 PM
i was thinking of making a post on the reddit about it!
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Totally!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ one of my absolute favorites! i read it before i fell into addiction, and it's just even more powerful reading it after
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@IssaBLR totally! it's such a personal journey and it really has nothing to do with how I view marijuana as a whole. (personally) It's just not for me.
4:57 PM
@Lauren YESSS!!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:57 PM
@Lauren (Puts on r/leaves mod hat) It's a great topic, but I'm afraid it's outside our scope on Leaves. we stick to a narrow focus of emotional and personal support there. 🙂
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@Lauren Re: the writeup
4:58 PM
oooooh
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Oh facts
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fair
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My dad was the same, told me for years to quit but thankfully he didn’t rub it in when I told him he was right
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@Moderator -- Subduction really though these hours I've been looking forward too, its giving me a place where I can check in and hold myself accountable for you guys too!
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@Moderator -- Subduction of course! thanks for letting me know, i can always talk to people personally about it if they're interested!
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Yeah thanks for opening this up
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@IssaBLR totally agree!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 4:59 PM
Okay all, we're coming to a close, but we'll be back at 5pm Eastern time (UTC-4) -- hope to see you soon!
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thanks so much @Moderator -- Subduction , this has really been an amazing outlet and it's so great to hear about everyone's journeys!
👍 3
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yes! thanks so much! talk to yall later ❤️
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I hope everyone has a great day and I'll see you in a couple hours!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hey everybody! Welcome (back) to Leave Lounge!
10:01 PM
We get more people each session, which is really exciting. I'm happy to see both new and familiar faces here.
10:01 PM
(faces? whatever)
10:02 PM
Please say hello and tell us where you are in your quit, we'd love to here from you
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I'm at 6d14h. Started to workout again
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Hello. Day 23 for me. It's gone very well so far except for a rough bout of vertigo which is likely unrelated. I really enjoy the /leaves community.
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:04 PM
Hey @jackspider ! Love counting the hours. Was absolutely there myself. Working out is great. I'm ahead of you on days, you're ahead of me on that. 🙂
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Hi everyone, 2 years sober with a few relapses here. Former 12 year daily smoker.
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Well done 👍
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:05 PM
Welcome @NeoXNemesis ! 23 days is great -- I'm glad you found us!
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Thanks
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hi all, will mark 4 months clean at the end of this week. longest time off for me since i started i think, more than 15 years ago...
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What's up everyone! I'm 15 days in with sobriety. Heavy user for the past 10 year with small hiatuses in between. I'm excited to see some new "faces" in the discord lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:06 PM
Thanks for coming @Default 2 years is epic. so much hard work.
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I'm very impressed at how fast breathing and lung capacity improves. I am also a 10 year heavy user, and the lungs were starting to bother me, especially now.
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What's your workout like @jackspider ? And nice @Max 4 months is a huge milestone! (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:08 PM
Hey @Max! 4 months is really about the time I started feeling like I could maybe stick with it. "Maybe..." 🙂
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Good job guys. Bondo, 2 week mark is tough. Symptoms decrease and its where i let my guard down in the past
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And right @NeoXNemesis I've been running more and it seems like every day I get a bit faster and my lungs cough up more crap.
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hey guys. a little over 6 months sober. started October 5th in a 12 step sobriety program, now I'm just trying to live sober
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 21/04/2020 10:09 PM
24 days here. Got a sponsor in Marijuana Anonymous and been going to meetings online. Grateful to not be high today
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@IssaBLR for my first weed I am going easy. I do 30-50 mins of stationary bike and try to do one set of each muscle groups throughout the week to get some flow going
10:10 PM
week* haha
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@Default I get what you're saying I can definitely feel a bit of cockiness about handling my addiction. I feel like that could nip me in the bud lol
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@jackspider lol
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@WiseEpicurus[Brian] I'm grateful to meet you man! And congrats on 24 days.
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I'm also taking the dog for walks. my parents don't recognize me
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:12 PM
Hi @Phaxxy ! Congratulations on 6 months. Living sober is the long term solution, waay better that staying sober.
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And congrats to all for not folding on 4/20 🏆
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 21/04/2020 10:13 PM
@IssaBLR nice to meet you. Cool to be here. Been on r/leaves for a few months. Love the community. Definitely a big factor in me deciding to get sober
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@Moderator -- Subduction thanks homie
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:13 PM
Welcome @WiseEpicurus[Brian] -- happy to have you here, 24 days is great! (edited)
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@jackspider I need to get more into the muscle building aspect I feel like I'm turning into a skeleton and becoming unrecognizable myself lol
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Weight lifting definitely helps
10:14 PM
It also gets you more looks from the ladies
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@WiseEpicurus[Brian] the community is definitely welcoming and understanding, which drew me into it myself.
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I'm very motivated cardio exercise wise but lifting weight I'm having trouble
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i was about a month into the stronglifts 5x5 program before covid hit and i couldn't go to the gym anymore 😦
10:15 PM
if you have access to the right equipment though it's great
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 21/04/2020 10:15 PM
@IssaBLR It was great validation that I had a problem. The wider culture is unfortunately really ignorant about marijuana addiction.
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I'd say nothing is ever a problem, just a chance to learn to fix something lol it will come around to the forefront in the next few years I'd imagine. Especially with this isolation trend coming around.
10:17 PM
I can't wait till I can go to the gym again though. Lifting weights is a blast especially when you get into the zone. 😎
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Weed is just too potent these days for more people to not start to have issues and adverse effects
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:19 PM
👉 SPECIAL REQUEST: If you're comfortable with it, can you give a quick idea of where you are in the world? I'm still trying to sort out the best times for us...
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Canada west coast
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hiiiii!!
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Howdy welcome
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:21 PM
Thanks @Default!
10:21 PM
Hey @~*ALiCiA*~ !
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just got back from a long walk because yall.... these withdrawals are fierce!
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Right? @Default especially the pens they have out these days. When I started having my issues with those that's when I started figuring out I have a problem.
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The dreams were one of the worst symptoms
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What's up @~*ALiCiA*~ you're kicking those withdrawal symptoms butts though!
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US east coast
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Yea bondo. Towards the end i was getting too paranoid and anxious and decided it wasnt worth it anymore
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And I agree @Default I have nightmares consistently and they are so vivid
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 21/04/2020 10:23 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction West coast USA
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It's not I was near convincing myself I have schizophrenia at times lmao
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I was almost convinced i had schizophrenia too!
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lol thanks @IssaBLR !! no other way but forward 😅
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Had some bad depersonalization
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@Default ooh yes love me a good depersonalization spell lol
10:25 PM
jk
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Scary as fuck lol
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To quote Dory "keep on swimming"
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a cinematic icon!
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Bondo the psychiatric symptoms get much better over time. But will take a while till they are almost gone
10:26 PM
For me it was thatt way
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That's what I'm figuring too, my biggest issue lately are my mood swings. I've concluded it's all the emotions I've been burying rising from the ground like the undead zombie I was once was lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:27 PM
@here If you're lurking I encourage you to introduce yourself. We'd love to meet you!
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Relapses bring them right back though. I used to think every once in a while like i could smoke and have it be like it was before it got bad. Was always wrong
10:30 PM
Sry if im triggering anyone
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Yep and that's why I've decided it's best to abstain permanently. I mean if eminem could do it for 12 years I can do it too. 😂
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@IssaBLR yeah I think we mentioned this the other day, it's all or nothing!!
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Good job man
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:30 PM
Just saw the Eminem thing. It great it's getting so much press.
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is @Lauren on??
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Thanks everyone, and I am too. And I hope she stops by to say hello
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just bought and started reading the book Memoirs of an Addicted Brain and it's great!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:34 PM
👉 A quick programming note -- r/leaves semi-annual post on r/trees is currently number 3 on r/all, so we should be getting an influx of new members. If you have time, try to comment on people's (edited)
10:34 PM
posts so no one is ignoored!
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Hi all. New here. I feel like I’m interrupting. Not sure what to say but it’s my third attempt to stop but first time actually opening up about it, to anybody. It’s been a lonely ride tbh .. and wanted to try something new
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@Deleted User Welcome to the community !
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If anyone is lurking and has any questions that i might be able to help with, im open to private dm. 2 years since i quit, but not without a few relapses
10:36 PM
Good job walrus!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:36 PM
Hi @Deleted User , welcome! Not interrupting at all -- so happy you found us.
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Each attempt makes the next one more likely to succeed
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@Moderator -- Subduction good to know!! definitely will!
10:37 PM
HI @Deleted User !!! you are so not alone!
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What’s up fellas
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I had tried to quit probably 20 times before it stuck
10:37 PM
Hey
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@Deleted User hello and nice to have you here! No interruptions on my end and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm taking up the chat, I just get excited talking to everyone about this because like you I dont really talk to anyone else about my sobriety
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I’m about to start my attempt at sobriety tomorrow!
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What's up @Maxwell how are you doing today?
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:37 PM
@Deleted User How long have you managed to stay quit?
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@IssaBLR same - especially with marijuana. everyone is a functioning addict in my life tbh
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Hey @IssaBLR I’m doing well staying positive
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No one else in my life really gets weed sobriety so this discord is great
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hey @Maxwell !
10:38 PM
you got it
10:38 PM
*this
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All my friends smoke and constantly urge me to. Kinda sad
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@all thanks for the warm welcome. Honestly feels like a breath of fresh air to see the kind words about me trying once again
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Do they days seem longer when you’re sober to you guys
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whats up guys how yall doing
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Days definitely seem much longer
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hello! what's up
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But thats a good thinv
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Maximus it highly depends on what I am doing to be honest
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:39 PM
Hey @Deleted User !
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ThTs true I guess I just need something to do!
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If I am working out and staying busy, it really seems fast, but otherwise it seems slow if I sit on my arse all day 😄
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What up @Deleted User good to see you again and hey @Laria glad you can make it!
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At the start days seem much longer because my favorite passtime was gone. Had to find new ones and learn how to do old passtimes sober.
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And the days seem super long if you're bored I agree
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You too Bondo, hi Subduction
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This is my first day trying (again) so far very good
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Let’s goooo @Laria
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"Idle hands are the devils playground" is a statement that's been underrated lol
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@Deleted User addiction is such an isolating experience
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:41 PM
👉 If you'd like to help with chat modding duties, please send me a PM here or on reddit at username Subduction. The more moderators we have the longer we can keep this open.
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@IssaBLR that's a good quote
10:42 PM
did you make it yourself?
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Lmaoo no honestly first time I heard it was the cheesy movie with seth green and Jessica Alba back in the day
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Hahaha
10:43 PM
but it's true tho
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Is anyone here a severe smoker 1 gram a day or more
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@Maxwell used to smoke 3g a day yeah
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@Maxwell yeah especially during quarantine
10:44 PM
+ edibles constantly
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And that's what's up @Laria! Do you have any plans to keep yourself preoccupied?
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@~*ALiCiA*~ you still going strong? 🙂
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@Deleted User how long did it take you to fully withdrawl
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I smoked an oz a week at least for the past year
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@Deleted User sure am!! withdrawals kicked in today but we're pushing through
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@Maxwell it would be easily to tell you on voice chat, been a lot of ups and downs, but i would say anywhere from 7 to 21 days
10:45 PM
That's it man! keep going @~*ALiCiA*~
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I’d love to talk sometime tonight?
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Sure bro Im down
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@Deleted User
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I was kind of buying a 3.5g a day. smoking about 3g and flushing the rest. rinse repeat haaa
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Evening all - I'm around 5 months clean. Quit just before Christmas
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I'll add you
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@IssaBLR Well I have a lot of productive activities to keep me busy; Excercise, gardening, cleaning. The problem is when I get bored
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If anyone else is down for a chat let me know
10:46 PM
@Deleted User How long have you managed to stay quit?
@Moderator -- Subduction longest has been 3 months.Wish I can say it was longer
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For those who have stopped smoking or decrease their usage, do you have more motivation to accomplish your goals or other activities? I’ve been trying to get my IT cents but lost motivation once I started smoking during the timeframe of studying for the IT certs
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Was a daily user and literally my only pastime
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I agree with @Deleted User it seems like the pwd substain after a week or so. Then the mental games come into play.
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Also hey everyone, happy to be here
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For those who have stopped smoking or decrease their usage, do you have more motivation to accomplish your goals or other activities? I’ve been trying to get my IT cents but lost motivation once I started smoking during the timeframe of studying for the IT certs
@lilren4495 hell yes
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@lilren4495 yes. I had no motivation before. Now I'm more driven and frankly happier with my lot in life
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i cannot emphasize this enough
10:47 PM
i feel like a different person
10:47 PM
the bar was so low when i was smoking
10:47 PM
albeit i smoked a fair amount about an eighth a day
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What's up @lilren4495 and @ChazzaMcRock I'm glad you guys made it!
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and when i quit i realized that being "functional" is not something to strive to be
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:48 PM
@Deleted User That's a pretty good run tho. Each attempt brings you closer. How long has it been as of today?
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i'm in an accountability discord as well as this one and it helps to be around people with a similar mindset of self-improvement etc
10:48 PM
@lilren4495
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@~*ALiCiA*~ yes it has. I’ve been working on opening up more but, I’m sorry I forgot who, but someone mentioned it in the chat earlier that sometimes friends don’t really understand weed or what they’re going through
10:49 PM
@lilren4495 ever since I stopped smoking I've been getting shit done in regards to my goals. Definitely more motivated, but of course it's not some kind of transformation story where it is linear progression. Ups and downs all the way, but definitely I feel much better
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also whats up guys
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@Moderator -- Subduction 1 day. I was having a difficult time but like many of you I saw Eminem’s post and felt motivated a bit more
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i love this community so much
10:50 PM
glad theres a discord for it!
10:50 PM
at day 1 after 4/20 but got to 5 days before that
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Since i quit i retook 3 high school courses and got really good grades. Enough to get me into a competitive university program :)
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@Deleted User yeah ups and downs. I quit in June but not cold turkey. Went from daily to weekly. Cut back further after I had a health scare in September (Wasn't serious) but it made me evaluate my life and how I need to look after myself
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@Deleted User Same here, day 1
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Had 4 joints between September and December
10:51 PM
Then nothing
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@lilren4495 for me motivation these past 15 days have had ups and downs. Not my most productive week my first week because I was so focused on not smoking.
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@ChazzaMcRock looking pretty bench bro
10:51 PM
hench*
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@misheel that's what up though you got this this time around, everyone has a day one.
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@Deleted User lol thanks - I'm a drummer kind of comes with the territory. Those are recent PR pics we had done
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@IssaBLR yessir i aint pressed about it at all
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@Deleted User yeah it's such a personal experience and people have such an inflated idea or view of addiction that they almost dont take you seriously. At least in my expwerience.
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That's a huge cutdown on the weed by the way, massive respect, would not have been able to do that myself
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sobriety is a mindset
10:52 PM
not a number
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@misheel ooooh thats good
10:52 PM
I'm remembering that
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@ChazzaMcRock what kind of band you drum for?
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:53 PM
@Deleted User 1 day is great. I had one day, now I have 7,951 days. It's possible. Have you gotten rid of your stash?
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I really do appreciate y’all responding
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@Deleted User power metal. Joined them 2 days after my last joint so it's been a good thing to have to keep me occupied
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Waddup all ✌🏼
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:54 PM
Happy to have you here @lilren4495 🙂
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fucking glorious man, I love metal
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What's up @Sneakz !
10:55 PM
Not the biggest metal fan but the drums are the shit tho
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80 days sober 💪🏼 thats whats up. You?
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:55 PM
@lilren4495 It's going to be ouch and go for a little while on motivation. Keep in mind that you're making a big change. That messes everything up.
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@lilren4495 didn't get to say hey so HEY! happy you're here!!
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if anybody wanna talk on voice chat later Im down?
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damn @Sneakz !!!
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@Sneakz I'm going through withdrawals currently - how long did yours last?
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@Sneakz nice!! You're killing it! I'm 15 days in right now.
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2 months till everything was normal again
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@Sneakz nice!
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:56 PM
@here Man, these sessions are flying, but we're going to have to close up soon. I promise I'm working as hard as I can to get them open longer.
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good to know
10:57 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I'm going to message you on reddit
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@~*ALiCiA*~ it all depends on how much you smoked
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@Sneakz yeah that's about right. Easier after a week. But took about that long to really settle down
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:57 PM
@here Again, if you'd consider learning how to become a mod please PM me here on on reddit at username Subduction. The more mods we have the longer we can be open.
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At 2 years here. If anyone wants to dm, im here
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@Deleted User I don't remember a day where I haven't been high in probably a year but 10 years total as a stoner
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What's normal in the first place? Lol I'm excited though I feel like it's going to be a different world. And like the other guys said if anyone wants to talk or what not just send me a dm. I'm not an expert but I'm a person that likes to talk lol
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@~*ALiCiA*~ yeah I smoked a shit ton too, some days if you'd smoke only 1g or like 3g that's a huge difference
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thanks @Default
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Eye opener for me was having around a half ounce in one weekend at a music festival. I realised I was having way too much. Then just had to give it up
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also true!!
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or 0,5g even
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I want to participate but I don't know howm, maybe tomorrow
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:59 PM
👉 One minute everybody! 👈
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ye man lemme know if anybody wanna keep chatting in private, just add me man
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@ChazzaMcRock dang, yeah smoking more than I've ever smoked got me there too...
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ill make a group yeah?
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Everyone have a good day and stay strong! See you tomorrow!
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me @Deleted User
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 10:59 PM
We'll be open again at 11 tomorrow morning (UTC-4) Hope to see you all there!
11:00 PM
(Eastern Time US)
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good good
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Moderator -- Subduction 21/04/2020 11:00 PM
See you tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:01 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:01 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:01 PM
Good morning everybody! Welcome to the Leave Lounge!
4:02 PM
Very happy to see new people here today. If you're new, things can move a little fast in the chat, so please just jump in and introduce yourself, we'd like to meet you.
4:02 PM
For those of you who don't know me, I'm subduction, and I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit. Please say hello!
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Good Morning!
4:04 PM
How is everyone feeling this morning??
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:04 PM
Good morning @~*ALiCiA*~ !
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hi @Moderator -- Subduction!!
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hello guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:05 PM
Personally, a bit tired. Our annual 4/21 message on r/trees made it to number 1 on r/all yesterday, so we've had a whole lot of new folks. What we call "luxury problems." 🙂
4:05 PM
Hi @Deleted User !
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Good morning everyone! I've been a smoker for 10 years with small hiatuses in between, 16 days sober now.
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omg I bet!
4:07 PM
Hey @Deleted User and @IssaBLR !!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:07 PM
Morning @IssaBLR !
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@Moderator -- Subduction when this happens what's the ratio you think that actually sticks to quitting?
4:08 PM
And morning @~*ALiCiA*~! how are you this morning?
4:08 PM
sup @Deleted User lol
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had some insane lucid and nonlucid dreams last night but wrote about them all morning. Feeling nauseous but nothing I can't handle! What about you!?
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morning guys! wow Subduction that's amazing!
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Hi, first time poster, long time r/leaves lurker. 1 day down and I went for a run this morning, so I'm hopeful today will pass evenly.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:09 PM
@IssaBLR Hard to tell who actually sticks with quitting, but based on traffic we usually keep about 30 percent of any big bump. We also gained 3,000 new subscribers, so they're more sticky.
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@ssciolist omg wow! what a great start! congrats 🙂 happy to see you here!
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hey @ssciolist nice to meet you and glad to see you on the chat! 🙂 congrats on pushing through the first day!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:09 PM
Hi @ssciolist ! Happy you made it!
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Thanks! It was almost harder to say hello, lol 😄
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@ssciolist congrats on the first day and glad to have you here!
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Afternoon guys
4:10 PM
Hope you’re all doing well
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:10 PM
Careful @ssciolist , there are a lot of banjo players here for some unknown reason, but otherwise it's a great group.
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@ssciolist idk why but that first engagement is always so hard!!
4:11 PM
hey @Deleted User !! happy to see ya!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:11 PM
Hey @Deleted User !
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Hey guys, hope everything is going well
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@~*ALiCiA*~ the journal idea is a good one, you could probably have a decent graphic novel by the time they settle down! Lol
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Currently got fleetwood Mac on to keep me happy haha
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@IssaBLR lol omg most definitely!! how you been this morning!?
4:12 PM
how are you feeling this morning @Lauren !?
4:12 PM
@Deleted User ooooh love that
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@~*ALiCiA*~ doing pretty well actually! i'm honestly giddy that i've made it to a week, longest i've been abstinent in a long time!
4:12 PM
how are you? 😄
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@Deleted User good day to you! Fleetwood mac makes me sad and happy sometimes lol
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Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow, thing that keeps me going
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:13 PM
@here If you're here and lurking, I encourage you to say hello. Everyone here took that tentative step and we'd really like to hear from you!
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@Lauren That's awesome, are there positive things you've noticed so far?
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@Lauren that’s great to hear
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I'm doing good though! I'm currently drawing and watching the midnight gospel on Netflix
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@Lauren sitting outside with my coffee sunbathing and was writing about my crazy dreams last night haha
4:14 PM
@ssciolist how long have you been smoking ?
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hey all im new here im just trying to drop it after about 1 and a half years of daily
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@ssciolist more motivation honestly! i feel like my days are longer, i used to squander my mornings waiting until an acceptable time to take an edible, and then it was just in a haze for the evening
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@Papacyanide hey!! so happy you're here!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ i was thinking about writing mine down too! good or bad dreams? i had vivid bad dreams but it's actually kind of a cool feeling, going from not really having dreams
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@Papacyanide what's up and welcome to the group!!
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is it any good bondomatic
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@Papacyanide so nice to meet you!! 🙂 welcome!
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it's not easy but it feels a little less lonely knowing that there are others going through it too 😅
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:15 PM
Hey @Papacyanide ! Nice to meet you! How long have you managed to quit for so far?
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Well done guys for maintaining abstinence, it’s not easy by any means
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@Lauren omg, yeah, I feel that. When I stop numbing my feelings, I have so much more energy. That's what I really am looking forward to, waking up a little easier, not feeling so exhausted
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im only 2 days in and it sucks
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I personally like it a lot, it's a weird show but it talks about spiritualism and mindfulness with a psychedelic twist. @Deleted User
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@Lauren they weren't terrifying but they werent ideal haha... had some lucid moments last night
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First 3 days really suck bro
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@Papacyanide hey I'm 4 days in now! I'm right there with ya!
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It gets easier every day after I find
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@IssaBLR oooh that sounds cool
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@ssciolist right! i like the feeling of waking up and having the whole day ahead of me
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:16 PM
@Papacyanide No question. What's your situation, are you around other smokers? Do you still have a stash?
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@Papacyanide yeah that's when my body was really fighting me on quitting. Nervous breakdown after breakdown lol but it gets better!
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@Papacyanide are you having any withdrawal symptoms?
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@~*ALiCiA*~ i have never been a lucid dreamer!! what's it like? inception-like? haha
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For sleep, try chamomile tea my friend
4:17 PM
I have two cups at night and it does wonders
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1 not around smokers i do it with 2 i do and i am having withdrawal mostly not sleeping in the past 2 days (edited)
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@Lauren it's kinda terrifying like your body is responding and moving to the dream and my eyes are open and I'm somewhat conscious but my mind is still technically living in the dream?
4:18 PM
but it's not very long
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sorry typo
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I'm 1 day away from 2 weeks 🙂
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I had 12 hours sleep across the first 3 nights, it’s a bitch I know it is but honestly, it gets easier
4:18 PM
@Enzo that’s superb
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@Papacyanide I had the same issue my first couple of days. I would stay up all night and go to bed at 5 in the morning.
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Longest in a while 🙂
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hey @Enzo congrats!!! that's a long time!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:19 PM
awesome @Enzo
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I'm ecited to get to that point!
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@Enzo congrats on almost hitting two weeks!!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ that sounds a lot less fun than i was imagining, especially if they're nightmares
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Thanks all, i usually break right around this point, but im trying to do my best, and tell the cravings to fuck off
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@Enzo wow congratulations, that's amazing! 😄 how're you feeling?
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life drama really doesn't help either
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Not great, Dissociated and anxiety ridden, can eat again now though so that's good
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I’ve had to stay away from friends who smoke, if anything this isolation has helped
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@Lauren it's more scary because you feel like you don't have control over your body but hey, just happy Im able to sleep at all. lol
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@Papacyanide totally agree there 😦 it's been a stressful time with quarantine... hard to not want to numb it
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:20 PM
@Papacyanide If you haven't seen it, one of our users posts a great link on insomnia threads on getting your sleep together. https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
11 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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@Lauren I can agree with @~*ALiCiA*~ it's crazy being in a lucid dream. It's like your totally in the dream but if you think something in your mind your subconscious makes it happen out of nowhere
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@Papacyanide and this quarantine is so stressful on the mind and body, its no wonder we want to smoke
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thanks @Moderator -- Subduction ill have a look
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@IssaBLR Yes!! wild
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@Enzo is there something nice that you've been able to eat at least?
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I read that, has some wonderful tips I must say (edited)
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got a proper craving for apples as weird as that is
4:21 PM
ate 4 yesterday lo
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Any of you sweating pints?
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! ha that's awesome
4:22 PM
There's so many great apple types
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I am sweating all the friggin time
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@Enzo that is awesome though, for my count at least 4 doctors will be staying away from you now. 😂 (edited)
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lol @Deleted User I'm living in the south right now so I can't tell if its the withdrawals or the humidity lmao but yeah I def feel sweatier!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:23 PM
@Deleted User Crzy sweating comes up all the time on leaves. Such a strange symptom but so many people get it.
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I’m in South Wales and it’s 99% of the time bloody freezing here
4:23 PM
Feel like I’m on fire mun with this
4:23 PM
I’m glad I’m not the only one Subd!
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@Enzo literally the only thing I've been able to eat has been fruit!!
4:24 PM
maybe I should bake an apple pie.....
4:24 PM
ugh pie crust is so hard
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@Enzo , @~*ALiCiA*~ , that's wild! I feel like I just overeat on pot.
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Yeh, it's weird, glad im at 2 weeks but i still romanticise smoking like rolling up and smoking, so trying ignore it but with dissociation and anxiety and irritability its hard to ignore and say no
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@Enzo its been a ritual for us for so long
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@Enzo I can get where you're coming from I'm 16 days now and the thought pops in my head in occasion. Like im missing out on something by not smoking, but then I remember I missed out on so much more because I smoked.
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@Enzo it is so easy to romanticize it. I do it all the time. Have my little special ways of smoking for certain times and certain parts of the day. I just have been trying to find something else to replace those rituals
4:26 PM
@ssciolist omg definitely
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yeh wrote like 15 lines of code today and it took me a few hours, but when i was smoking i never wrote any. I literally got to the stage that i was forgetting things 6 hours after hearing it
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@Enzo wow! thats crazy
4:27 PM
I read half a book yesterday... half the time I'd be too stoned to keep focused and would spend time scrolling my phone 😦
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@Enzo exactly! That's one of the reasons I had to quit, I hated feeling like I was getting dumber and not learning anything.
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@Enzo I relate to the forgetting stuff. In a weird way, it's a blessing because it's one of the things that inspires me to try and quit when I get into a bad rut. As far as romantizing, it's so dumb, but any time I see pot smoking on TV, I have SUCH an urge
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@~*ALiCiA*~ are you reading the book from @Lauren recommendation?
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yes!! it's so good! Memoirs of an Addicted Brain by Marc Lewis
4:31 PM
it's GREAT. Gives you anecdotal experiences while also backing it up with science to explain what he was going through. He's an addict turned neuroscientist
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I have spoken with people who are actively still smoking and i wanna go get some super bad, but when i ask how much they smoke and they say like 3 gram a day i remember why i quit and how bad my dependency was
4:31 PM
every day i dont smoke i save £10, so, so far i have saved £130 lol
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way to go!! That rules!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:32 PM
@here If you're new here please say hello! Remember, this server is only three days old, so we're all new here too!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I'll definitely have to pick it up I haven't read in a while I've been an audio book guy lol
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@Enzo wow yeah I wonder how much I'll be saving... I should look into that lmao
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@Enzo that's what's up!! Do you use an app to keep track?
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@IssaBLR I'm totally an audiobook girl too but I've been enjoying reading while being on lock down to pass the time.
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I have an app called Quit Weed that I check religiously since starting lol
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I’ve tried helping my mates off and they just can’t get passed day one 😭
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nah i don't want a daily reminder first thing when i wake up being about weed lol (edited)
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@IssaBLR oooh an app!! what a great idea!
4:33 PM
@Enzo hahah thats fair
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@Enzo true that I can see where you're coming from, I like it cause it kind of tells you where you're at and what stages you're at in the detox.
4:35 PM
Currently I've saved $166.48 and not smoked 33g
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:36 PM
@IssaBLR I like that budget estimate, it let's you plan potential rewards that aren't smoking again.
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I bought crochet hooks and yarn!! excited to learn something new and be able to make stuff for my friends! figured I'd use the money Id spend on pot to go to that
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@Moderator -- Subduction right? I've bought so much art supplies for half the price so far and keeping me productive. I bet if we tracked your progress the savings would be outstanding! Lol
4:39 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ nice I'm excited to see what you come up with! I think that will be a very useful skill and hobby too
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:40 PM
@IssaBLR I quit back when weed was still relatively cheap, not shatter and pens and stuff, but my conservative estimate is that I spend $50 thousand in my career. These days would probably be five or six times that.
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Alright everybody, I'm going to sign off to try and get some work done, but I really appreciate you! Thanks for being so nice to a newcomer, and see you tomorrow, or maybe this afternoon, depending on how the day goes.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:40 PM
Even with generic delivery weed in New York City I was spending $400 a month
4:41 PM
Thanks @ssciolist , glad you came by. Hope to see you again!
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@ssciolist I'm happy i got to meet you! You have a great day and hope to see you again soon!
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yeah! It's been ruminating in me to start making my own clothes for awhile (curating and collecting 70s clothing is a hobby of mine) and the crochet aspect fits perfectly into it. super stoked!
4:42 PM
hope to see ya back @ssciolist
4:43 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction wow!! when I first moved to LA I spent so much money on all the new ways to partake. I would have like every kind on me at all times.
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From my calculations you have saved a little over $100,000 😯 @Moderator -- Subduction
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also what's crazy is the only time I've had a medical emergency from doing drugs was from smoking dabs.
4:43 PM
wowwwwww
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:44 PM
I can't imagine how I would have been with modern dispensaries. I would have really lost it.
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oh gosh. its so real! I was so broke when I first got there too but as long as I was high, I was fine with it
4:45 PM
how could I not call that addiction?
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:45 PM
@IssaBLR Jeez. From the category of "Things That Are Not in My 401k"
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that's crazy man
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I can see you coming up with some modern 70s clothing, I think that would be a good look for this day in age!
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how much would you guys usually smoke a day?
4:46 PM
and how expensive is it there
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totally!
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@Moderator -- Subduction lol I'm sure the time you got in return was way more a worthy investment though
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i'd take 70s clothing over 70s hairstyle any day
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during quarantine I was going through about half an ounce of flower every week on top of taking edibles. When I was in my normal routine with work I'd vape oil and pop a 10mg edible as soon as I got into my car
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I used to buy an oz every week and a half and would smoke by myself and whatever friends came by. @Deleted User but idk on the hairstyle thing, hyde had a total swaggy fro. 😂
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I've always worked out at the gym while violently high. It was the only way I could get myself through it but I think that's just what I was telling myself.
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If you want to be cheered up, the girl I’m seeing just said she thinks Ariana has a better voice than Whitney Houston
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@Deleted User lolol love me a good shag!!!
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Cheered me right up I tell ya
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@Deleted User I'd admit it did give me a giggle
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Yeah I was on an ounce every 2 weeks, figured I’m saving almost £5000 a year
4:50 PM
lol working out in the gym high got me paranoid as fuck when Im benchpressing or squatting
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@Deleted User she probably hasnt even really listened to whitney... she was before our time honestly
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Not saying Ariana can’t sing but Jesus
4:50 PM
It’s Whitney Houston
4:50 PM
Moment in time is unbelievable
4:50 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ yeah who doesn't love a good shag 😂
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@Deleted User well that's the thing! i would only do cardio while high!! i could never get myself to the weights which is something I've always enjoyed
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urban dictionary that shit
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:51 PM
@IssaBLR That's the part that's hard to explain to people. When you quit, what you get back is that opportunities don't just drift by anymore. There isn't this overhead of "nah" that everything has to get over in order to get your attention. Now that I'm older I say I've been lucky in career and life and stuff, but to be honest it was only partly luck. It was the luck of opportunities coupled with my ability to act on them. Something I didn't have when I got high. (edited)
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i never got how people can do cardio while high, i gas out 2 minutes in and quit lol
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so well said @Moderator -- Subduction
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Hahaha same
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:53 PM
@Deleted User I don't get how people can do cardio straight, but I think that's something I need to sort out on my own
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cardio? is that spanish?
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:53 PM
lol
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i guess it really depends on what kind of cardio for the individual as well
4:54 PM
some like running, some like cycling etc
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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yeah I hate running but love me a spin bike or elliptical. its meditative for me. I'd get high and zone out but also probably just fantasize about shit that wasnt real which is also just another form of disassociation
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I didn’t mind jogging just wanted to go back for another joint when high haha
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@Moderator -- Subduction I can see what you're saying. It's like if you were smoking you would never take the time to be ready for when opportunity steps up, I'd admit some of it maybe luck. But you were ready at the right time. Very inspirational when you put it like that.
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gosh these hours fly by!!
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Running while high on a treadmill always seemed like a death trap to me lmao
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:56 PM
Time is coming up all! Really enjoying this new addition to Leaves.
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me too! genuinely so grateful.
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They really do! I'm excited to see how this group continues to grow.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:57 PM
@IssaBLR Also, you make more contact with people outside your stoner peer group. All the opportunities I got were because I was recommended by someone. That happens liess when you're high and playing CoD. 🙂
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Wise words Sub
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so true!!!
4:57 PM
❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 4:58 PM
Not that I'm Mr. Social, but when I was high I lived the life of a hermit in a cave. The people I had most contact with were food delivery people.
4:58 PM
I tipped well tho, so we were friends. 🙂 (edited)
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yeah i guess you'd always be content when you'd smoke up all the time
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@Moderator -- Subduction yessir I believe that, I'm ready for quarantine to be over so I can explore the world without the guidance of weed.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 5:00 PM
Okay folks, so happy to see you all, and the lurkers too! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) !
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 9:52 PM
⭐ Welcome everybody! We'll be starting soon! ⭐
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:00 PM
Hello everyone! Welcome!
10:01 PM
The bot we use to administrate things here is down, so can someone say hello to confirm you have access tot he channel?
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Good afternoon all, hope the apocalypse is going well for everybody ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:02 PM
Phew -- thanks @Gorgoleon ! We're on the air for the next hour -- great to see everyone!
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How have the birthday festivities been going?
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:02 PM
If you're new here, please say hello, we'd love to meet you. This is only three days old, so we're all new here anyway...
10:03 PM
Good! Been doing nothing. Catching up on Westworld, Better Call Saul.
10:04 PM
My wife has a special dinner, zoom with family...
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How's it going everyone! I've smoked for 10 years and I'm now 16 days sober. And happy birthday @Moderator -- Subduction !! I apologize for forgetting to mention that to you earlier.
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Sounds like a great way to spend a bday!
10:05 PM
Heya @IssaBLR , good to see you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:05 PM
Yup! Nothing is one of my favorite things to do, second only to whatever-I-want.
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Great to see you too @Gorgoleon how has your day been?
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Evening everyone! Hope you’re doing well
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:05 PM
Hey @IssaBLR !
10:06 PM
Hi @Deleted User !
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Hope you’re doing well mate
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:07 PM
@here If you're lurking, the protocol here is to just jump in. There's no wrong time. Just say hello, tell us a little about where you are in your quit.
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@IssaBLR Very good, been trying to stay busy today. Giving @Moderator -- Subduction a break from moderating on his bday, so I've had to dust off the 'ol banhammer
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Happy birthday @Moderator -- Subduction!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:08 PM
Ooh, bans. A lot of new people, so not too big a surprise.
10:09 PM
Thanks @Findict !
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What's up @Deleted User ! And that's funny @Gorgoleon people be acting a fool already?
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was jk, I haven't banned anybody in months. Even then, it was bots posting links to online weed shops
10:09 PM
Lots of off-topic stuff, thankfully nobody arguing lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:10 PM
Just so everyone knows, I'm older now, so expect my wisdom to be through the roof. Like 11 out of 10.
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Hello everyone and happy birthday @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:10 PM
Thanks @jackspider !
10:10 PM
Welcome!
10:11 PM
@jackspider @Findict Where are you in your respective quits?
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1 week for weed and 5 days for cigs 🙂
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I'm not necessarily quitting, just been a member of the sub for a while and I love the community. Mostly here to support and learn along with you all. But not now, it's past 11 PM here 🙂
10:12 PM
FYI, I never used in the first place
10:12 PM
so it's not like I'm not quitting
10:13 PM
I just find MJ addiction fascinating
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Hello, mates.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:13 PM
@Findict Ahh, so you're in, what, Eastern Europe?
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@jackspider Grats! Feeling any difference?
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I’m good man, on day 8 today
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First time in the lounge
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West Europe, Netherlands specifically.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:13 PM
Hey @Joel! Welcome!
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:13 PM
Day 25 here
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Two weeks today
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:13 PM
Ah, got it.
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Congrats on both of those achievements @jackspider I would absolutely go insane with my vape rn lol
10:14 PM
Nice job on two weeks @Joel how you feeling lately?
10:14 PM
Good to see you again @WiseEpicurus[Brian] !
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Great. I actually feel great. I started a new job so I’m tired af from that but I feel goooood.
10:15 PM
All the withdrawal is gone and I’m ready to be clean for a long timmmmeeeee
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Yea today was rough I had to put myself to sleep because I was craving so much @IssaBLR
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:16 PM
Nice to be here. Glad r/leaves has a discord now. I'm on another recovery server that has NA meetings all the time. So its cool I can come here as well
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I wake up and on my way to work I really crave weed. I always high while driving and I always was stoned at work.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:17 PM
@jackspider Good strategy. If you get cravings at night, shorten the night. Even if it means becoming a morning person (shudder)
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I guess we are a MA / NA / recovery server
10:17 PM
I never thought of it like that
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:18 PM
I go to MA in person. Got a sponsor. With the virus going on, I go to MA zoom meetings
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Yeah that first couple of weeks is a doozy, once you're in the two week range I feel like most physical withdraws are gone then the rest is mental
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:18 PM
But there's some good voice NA meetings on discord
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What do you guys do when you really crave weed? How do you power through the feeling?
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:18 PM
MA has chats, but to my knowledge they're not on discord. AA has a terrific Discord server that I took a lot of inspiration from. They're great for people who want 12-step
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:19 PM
Talking to someone in recovery really helps. I've made friends in recovery and they help keep my sober. Along with my MA sponsor
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I'll try to meditate or listen to loud music. Anything to clear those thoughts and take my mind off them. Or I'll walk it off @Joel
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:19 PM
Hey Sub, would you mind sending me an invite to that server in a DM if you get the chance? I'd be interested
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:20 PM
@Joel The gold standard strategy is to try to avoid them as much as possible. Really plan ahead, think through when you're likely to get them, and make up strategies to keep your mind occupied during those times.
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@WiseEpicurus[Brian] that's a good idea, to talk to people in recovery too. I feel like they can really guide you in a good direction
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I don’t feel like it’s something that I can try fo avoid. I’ll just be driving and I’ll want to smoke, or I’ll wake up and be like damn. I could use a bong rip. Of course I don’t. But I just crave it
10:22 PM
I just don’t smoke. even if I really want it. I guess that’s my strategy. Just do(nt) it!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:22 PM
@WiseEpicurus[Brian] Sure...
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:22 PM
Making bonds with people in recovery is a big part of my own. Its all about creating a new lifestyle. Talking to people dedicated to living a sober lifestyle all the time makes me want to continue making positive changes in my life
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My body was really sick of it so I don't get that many cravings for weed.
10:23 PM
For now at least
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:23 PM
@Joel Another important thing is to remember that they are always temporary. Some studies say 15 minutes. So if you can hang on and keep yourself busy they will fade
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@Joel el very good strategy. Along with sub says, figure out when your cravings would be strongest and have something ready to go to replace the dopamine fix. (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:23 PM
@Joel Do you have access to a stash?
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Nope. Took all my weed stuff and gave it to my friend and told them to let me have it
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@WiseEpicurus[Brian] we were talking about that earlier, it's like once you meet people outside of your stoner circle the positive opportunities start flowing in.
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It's the 4th time I try to quit. I usually relapse start to crave very badly after 2 months
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Thanks guys. I’ma go drive now. Talk to y’all later 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:26 PM
@Joel Remember to take it one day at a time. Wake up in the morning and promise yourself you won't smoke. If the cravings get bad you can always smoke, but it has to be tomorrow. Then tomorrow promise yourself the same thing. Have a good drive!
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@Joel have a good one and talk to you later!
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 10:27 PM
@IssaBLR for me, I was a pretty isolative stoner, ha. The people that enabled my pot addiction were mostly my family. I really need sober friends and to take some distance from my family to get better. Boundaries with active addicts are really important to me. Most of my family are addicts
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That's a really good time Subduction
10:27 PM
tip*
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:28 PM
@jackspider People think "one day at a time" is just like "take it easy" or something, but it's a real strategy to get through this in small, manageable chunks.
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Anyone else from wales by any slim chance?
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@WiseEpicurus[Brian] that does suck some of the people close to you are enablers. But at least by you getting help you maybe able to help them one day too if they ever seek the help that is.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:30 PM
@Deleted User If we had three banjo players on Monday we can certainly have more than one person in Wales. We defy odds. That's our thing.
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Nice!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:31 PM
@here Just a reminder, if you're lurking we'd love to meet you. Just jump in and say hello...
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That really was destiny waiting to happen @Moderator -- Subduction lmao
👍 1
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It's 10:30pm, and i can't deal with the Dissociation, Derealisation, The constant never ending anxiety and panic and feelings of fragaility, my mind isn't better not having weed i feel. I'm trying to not cave in as im so close to 2 weeks, 2 weeks is when i wake up tomorrow but i can't deal with these 2 major horrible feelings constantly, it's been 14 days and i have 0 improvement other than being able to finally eat something again, waking up at 9am religiously but not sleeping until 4am. Don't feel tired even if i wake up at 7 or 8am. What do i do, how do i feel better when i can't even feel any thing when my son say's he loves me, the worse part is it's not even my choice i got given an ultimatum that's what lead to this streak, either quit or lose my girlfriend and with these feelings that have not relented after 14 full days not even for a minute, not even a moment of feeling "ok" no Euphoria waking up for 5 minutes that i made it another day. Fuck guys, ill probably break and i feel it's unavoidable.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:35 PM
@Enzo There's nothing inevitable in what we do, and it's not breaking. You make a choice to do what you do. You're not holding back a dam, you make decisions about what to do next, and if you don't feel good then it's fine to say "I don't want to have another day that felt like the last one. Allow yourself that.
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I get no enjoyment from anything, No game can make me feel okay or pass the time better, no movie, or series, Today i rage quit with my friends playing games because the anger from being killed was taking me to like smashing my mouse and keyboard, i rage quit wow because my group died and i legit feel like i never wanna play that again and maybe ill feel different in the morning but man
10:36 PM
I can't even have that, i got given an ultimatum that's why im on this streak, either quit or my girlfriend moves out, at this point i would rather she fucks off so i can smoke myself to bliss
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Have you tried exercising @Enzo ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:37 PM
@Enzo But it's important to remember that what you're feeling right now isn't real life. You have a disease called withrawal, and it's making you feel terrible.
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Yeh, it's difficult in lockdown but i being running on the exercise bike for the past few days not since day 1 though, i been having a lot more baths too to try and just feel calm and warm and soothed etc
10:37 PM
tbh the baths have made her happier and hornier as i don't stink of weed lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:37 PM
@Enzo On top of that, you have an addiction that is trying to pull every trick in the book to get you to smoke again, no matter how much it hurts you or your family.
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Dont do it @Enzo I've been where you're at. Dont let the weed beat you, It's a moment right now you're feeling like this I promise you, i had the same feeling of not connecting to anything when I get wrapped up in my head. I had breakdown after breakdown until I realized why I was losing to the dumb plant. (edited)
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I understand that what i feel right now is probably just an extremely intense craving that will die out, but it might last another 6 hours before i feel a bit calmer, and then tomorrow i might have a craving that lasts for 12 hours, but my god people the dissociation and derealisation on top just take it to a whole other level
10:39 PM
from waking to sleeping, it's just horrendous 😦
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:40 PM
@Enzo AA has a saying that's "don't look up, don't look down." Don't think about how far you have come, don't think about how far you have to go or how long you have to "hold out." Just work on staying quit today. Or this afternoon, or this hour.
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I understand man, I abused the hell out of a pillow when I was in my worst states by punching it over and over again. Just so I could feel something.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:40 PM
@Enzo What are you doing to replace your smoking?
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Another weird one, i just seem to be going to a dark room and crying, 28 year old man just sobbing into his dressing gown, I'm trying to pass assignments and work on practicing my coding and doing that for a few hours a day so when its night time and i play games i don't feel shitty for doing nothing all day like i did with weed With weed it was Ill smoke now > Study > Play games, the study was to make me not feel shitty for smoking or playing games, but you all know how that went 9am in the morning roll a spliff, smoke it and then smoke into oblivion all day and then because i didn't "Study" i didn't play games. Kind of a blessing in disguise to be honest, i never really played any game at all except grinding on wow when high, so i don't really associate gaming with weed, just doing mind numbing stuff like grinding on classic lol as it was easy as piss to sit there for 6 hours and grind on wow while high
10:44 PM
Covid has cancelled my exams, so all i need to do is pass assignments and i pass year 2, which is a blessing in disguise as the physical exam made up 40% of my mark and i definitely didn't have time to quit weed and prepare for that, when it was due to be sat in June, but the other problem is my marks need to be really high to pass, as i have scores of 17% this year
10:44 PM
already failed year 2 once also btw
10:44 PM
3 year course will take me 4, if i pass this year, cos i failed year 2 once
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I completly lost interest in gaming once sober
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:45 PM
@Enzo The other thing to consider is that I was going through similar feeling when I was in rehab, and they gave me mood support in addition to addiction counseling. In my case it was meds plus treatment. When I stabilized I went off the meds and was fine. Worth talking to your doctor if these feelings persist.
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I honestly think it's time for me to ring the doctor if anything just to get something to help with the dissociation and stuff. Maybe some sleepers too
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:47 PM
@Enzo The thing that determines if it's time is you deciding it's time. So it sounds like it's time. 🙂
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I also lost interest in IT and did a career switch. Very thankful to sobriety for opening my eyes to that.
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@Enzo No shame in crying either, I'm 24 and haven't cried since I was 15 and I've done it 4 times last week. I've cried my fair share thinking all of this was unfair and why should I punish myself for nothing. You said you liked to do mind numbing activities and I did the same thing. Anything where I could just forget about my stresses and not really focus at all. I feel like all the emotions bubbling up are all the feelings I lost during all these times coming back up.
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Yeh I didnt cry when my sister died in December, or my aunt last june, or my dog 2 years ago, or when my son was born I haven't cried in a really, really long time, until the last few weeks
10:49 PM
I say sister, not by blood but I had known her since I was 3, she drowned in the bath, alcoholism
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:49 PM
@Enzo Yeah, it's hard for everyday emotions to compete with weed.
10:50 PM
@Enzo Sorry, that's very tough. I lost both my sister and my Mom in the last six years.
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@Enzo im very sorry to hear that man I was in the same boat when I lost my brother a few years ago. He died in the middle of the night when he couldn't get his inhaler in time. I didnt cry then because I had weed, I just felt anger and buried it down. it's not bad to have these emotions. It means your human.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:52 PM
I made a post six years ago when my sister died about why I was grateful to have been sober through it. Not a light read, but in case you want to see it: https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/1dv0vq/my_sister_died_last_wednesday_after_a_battle_with/
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I'll have to read @Moderator -- Subduction I'm sorry you had to go through losing a sibling and I'm amazed at your strength to go through it sober.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:54 PM
It's hard, but you're able to be there both for yourself and for them.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:55 PM
Not the most carnival ending to todays session, but we'll be wrapping up in five minutes!
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I dont feel anything because of dissociation and stuff but at the same time I'm randomly crying wtf is up with that too lol
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That's exactly what I missed, I still feel like an ass because I was so stuck in my own head and high that I didnt realize others were feeling the same pain.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:56 PM
@Enzo You just pulled the rug out from under your whole personality, give it a chance. 🙂
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I also cheated on my first 10 sober days by taking some helping tablets but I feel they have done more harm than good, and prolonged the dissociation and the intense cravings
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Yes exactly what sub said @Enzo you're finally meeting you for the first time in a long while!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:57 PM
I know from personal experience that meeting me can be annoying at first. 🙂
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Lmaoo I'm figuring that about myself, maybe I'm not the most loving guy apparently. But I'm me and I'm feeling happy about that!
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How long have you been off the thc @Moderator -- Subduction?
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@Enzo I wouldn't beat myself up about that either I just took some sleeping tablets for the first time last night and did get drunk my first week of not smoking.
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 10:59 PM
@jackspider 21 years now. Believe me, if you give yourself time and you make it a priority you get a whole lot better.
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wow congrats !
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Down to one minute folks. this was such a great session, thank you all so much for coming!
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Good evening everyone and stay strong! I believe in us!
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 11:01 PM
We'll be back tomorrow at 11am Eastern time (UTC-4)
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WiseEpicurus[Brian] 22/04/2020 11:01 PM
👍
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thanks for being here everyone
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Thanks everyone :)
11:01 PM
I'll update tomorrow
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Moderator -- Subduction 22/04/2020 11:04 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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dynoError That channel is already locked.
11:14 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:00 PM
Good morning everybody! Very happy to see so many people here!
4:01 PM
If you're new here (and this has only been open a week, so we're all new here) just jump in and say hello. Tell us a little bit about how your quit is going -- we're looking forward to meeting you!
4:02 PM
I'll go first -- I'm Subduction, and I've been at this awhile. I was a ten-year every day smoker, and now I have 21 years quit. 🙂
4:03 PM
One second -- we seem to be having a problem...
4:04 PM
How's this, can someon type so we know we're here?
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wooooo
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Good morning all
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it works now 🙂
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Afternoon everyone, hope you’re all doing well
4:04 PM
whats up
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hi @Gorgoleon and @Deleted User @Moderator -- Subduction goood morningz!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:04 PM
Yay! Thanks for the heads up Gorgoleon. Our bot has ben wacky...
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or afternoon for @Deleted User !
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Hey career girl!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:05 PM
Morning all!
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and @Lauren !!!
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good morning guys! 🙂 i'm in a meeting but just wanted to pop in to say hi!!
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Hey Lauren!
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hey Ham Mouse! so great to see familiar and new faces every day ❤️
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I'm Gorgoleon, have been a Leaver and loyal janitor for @Moderator -- Subduction for about 4 years now with a little over a year streak
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aw I love that!
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Nice one gorg!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:06 PM
lol -- @Gorgoleon is a janitor like Matt Damon was a janitor in Good Will Hunting. 🙂
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Morning everyone I'm glad to see you all back! I've smoked for 10 years and I'm now 17 days sober and counting.
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I'm on day 5!! going strong. Not sleeping, had sleep paralysis last night with visuals but I think that's mostly related to stress 😦 spent all morning writing about my dreams
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hha I wish
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That was funny @Gorgoleon you earned a chuckle from me.
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@IssaBLR @~*ALiCiA*~ Glad to hear those streaks are going up!
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hey @IssaBLR !!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:07 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ Oof -- I had sleep paralysis the time I tried melatonin. Still have mental scars.
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weelllll last night was the first time I took melatonin soooo I won't be doing that again!!!
👍 3
4:08 PM
guess I figured out what NOT to do haha
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@~*ALiCiA*~ it really is traumatizing. I had one when I was smoking and it was the worst, like I was waking up to the same nightmare over and over again and I could do nothing about it
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@IssaBLR YES!!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ The intense dreams can be difficult to deal with for sure
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Yeah my dreams this week have been so intense
4:09 PM
That’s one thing I notice is I dream for longer now than I have in years
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any common themes that you all have in your dreams?
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:09 PM
@here If you're lurking, the protocol is to just jump in and say hi. 🙂
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To those that had it was it like a demon that showed up?
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yeah @Deleted User the length is wild to me
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They’re quite negative my dreams I feel and sometimes I dream of lighting up and smoking a bowl
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@~*ALiCiA*~ someone dying. often me xd
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Oh goodness I was lurking by accident. Hi all
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omg @jackspider !! I'm always so close to death in mine but damn
4:10 PM
also @jackspider Hi!!
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Yes dying is a common occurrence in my dreams.
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The sweats are the thing that bothers me most about coming off it but by no means is it enough to get me back into that vile habit
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What's up @Katelyn how are you doing today?
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I have a recurring theme of walking across shitty drawstring bridges. One was between to oil drilling platforms in the ocean, and the other was between two skyscrapers. I've got a fear of heights to boot, so yeah that's a thing lol
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hello @Katelyn !!!
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I am ok
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falling, dying. Trying to punch but no power
4:11 PM
Yeah first two nights off I dreamt of driving off a bridge into water for some odd reason
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Which is better than normal haha
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@Gorgoleon wow those are some intense locations
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Well that's good to hear then, how far along are you on your journey? @Katelyn
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Yeah have had the oil drilling platform dream a few times now too, weird af especially considering I'm from the midwest lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:11 PM
I still have dreams about lighting up. Usually I smoke without thinking and then realize I have a work meeting or family reunion or something. That's after 21 years. I think once smoking becomes part of us it's just part of us.
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@Deleted User how long have you been practicing sobriety for again?
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I’m the same sub, almost like my brain even tests my willpower in my dreams haha
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@Gorgoleon I was going to ask like, is there any symbolism with the oil rigs??
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I’m clean 9 days today x
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haha
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I am stumbling hard but I went from smoking like 6x a day to barely once every 2 days.
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@Deleted User hell yeah!!!
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Thank you!
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longest Ive gone totally without was 4 days last week
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I could imagine that would give you massive anxiety when you wake up @Moderator -- Subduction
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I have horrible horrible dreams
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@Katelyn hey that's great though!
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@Katelyn Congrats on the progress, changing habits can def be very difficult
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I feel as if my dreams now are so intense I could write down a lot of what happened during
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sounds like you're showing yourself some grace
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:13 PM
@IssaBLR It's actually more of a relief, because I suddenly realize it wasn't real and I'm still good.
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Hey all
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@Deleted User that's what I've been doing in the mornings... it's honestly helped me process them and pick out meaning related to my real life
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Hey @anonymous ! Hope you’re doing well
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hey @anonymous !!!!
4:13 PM
welcome!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:14 PM
Hey @anonymous !
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I was a daily smoker for about 6 years, been clean for 80 days or so now
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I should rephrase, longest i've gone without in recent history was 4 days. SUbduction knows I didn;t have weed and I told him I wasn't going to smoke resin but I apparently hate myself more than I thought.
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This is my first time on here
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hello @M1NDFEEDER !!!
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Might sound odd but my dreams are a lot brighter and vivid from any time I can remember
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how are you feeling today? whats your story
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:14 PM
@anonymous 80 days is great.
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@Deleted User that checks out
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You're making baby steps! Before I got into my longest streak I had to trickle down to once or twice a week. @Katelyn
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@anonymous wow!! that's amazing!
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80 days off? That’s absolutely incredible mate
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Thanks guys
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I can do better. I can always do better. Nice to see so many people in here
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:15 PM
@anonymous How are so feeling so far?
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Hey @anonymous and @M1NDFEEDER I'm happy you guys made it!
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You give people like me hope who are on day 9
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I feel so much better about myself now. I almost relapsed the other day but I stuck it out.
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Same for subduction with his sobriety
4:15 PM
/ her
4:15 PM
Apologies if I got it wrong
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@anonymous oh gosh nice work!!
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True I misgender the hell out of people by accident. Sorry in advance...
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I'm day 70 nearly 71 and that's it really 🤷🏼‍♀️ a bit stuck for words lately hmmm
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Ahh 70 days that is awesome
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That’s superb mindfeeder
4:16 PM
Should be so proud of yourself
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I didn't really have any physical withdrawal. The hardest part was limiting how often I saw friends who were negative influences.
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Ah that hits home with me
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wow @M1NDFEEDER thats incredible! How long have you been smoking for?
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Made me realise for one who I was only hanging out with for weed and who I was hanging out with because I enjoyed it (edited)
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@anonymous that's so rough 😦
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5 years daily and heavily off and on for 20
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I am lucky in that I am everyone else's bad influence
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ooooh @Deleted User those surface level relationships are so real... I had years of friendships like that only for the sole purpose of drugs and when I was no longer high, I saw them for what they were.
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Couldn’t agree more
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:18 PM
@anonymous It was the opposite for me. All my friends were postitive influences on me, and in order to pursue my habit I had to isolate from them. The old me was the person I needed to get away from. Crazy how we all come at it from different angles.
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Yeah it's sad to think about all the time I wasted in these relationships that only hurt me
4:18 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction There are some people in my life that I feel that way about and I really regret not being there for them just so I could smoke.
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It’s good to be able to look back and accept your flaws rather than continuing with them, proud of all of you
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@Katelyn I'm with you there, I'm honestly the bad influence in the group. I used to be the supplier in high school and recent years and I'm the one who got everyone hooked.
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Years ago I had a dealer who would make house calls and take my food pantry groceries instead of cash. I thought he was a good friend but I am not so sure these days...
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Everyone in here is so nice and accepting
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there really is a specific feeling or rush I get from logging on here and being able to say I made it another day... like that's the kind of high I want to enjoy.
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This ^
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Be proud this is a annoying process.
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Ringing my parents up and saying I’m on day 9 or whatever too and having them proud is the best feeling in the world
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@Katelyn it's crazy what kind of perspective you gain on people and others when not inundated with substances
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@Katelyn wow glad you're not around someone like that anymore
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@Deleted User hell yeah!!
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It seemed like such a good deal at the time lol.
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It’s a marathon and a half this is but once you beat the “I need to smoke weed” feeling, it only gets better
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:21 PM
@anonymous Yeah, everybody, family and friends, were shocked when I checked myself into rehab. I had to ask them, "think back, when was the last time you got me on the phone at night?" I put smoking before them all. But quitting is a great time to rediscover the people who love you and really care about you.
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@IssaBLR omg I've totally been the bad influence.... I brought all the drugs into my friend group. every.... single... one...
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Couldn’t say it better myself subduction (edited)
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and now, I'm the sober one... luckily it didn't do too much damage
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That is true @Moderator -- Subduction and I look forward to spending a lot more time with my friends and family now
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which is like the first time I'm actually realizing that i think....
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:22 PM
Even when we feel the most alone, there are people out in the world who are ready to root for our success if we let them.
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Does anyone else have the experience that they laugh more after a few days of not having imbibed? That is something that surprises me.
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drugs have always been a social thing for me, a way to get me out of myself... I'm only now building a real relationship with myself.
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@Deleted User that is awesome that you're parents are proud! I've never ever told my dad I smoked in the first place but I can sense he figured when I roll over to his place with glazed eyes. Like all of you guys I'm ready to get back into the real world and make good positive connections.
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@Katelyn thought I was the only one
4:24 PM
@IssaBLR unfortunately mine got to the point where they’d even pay to help me feel “better” about myself which I’d spend all on weed
4:24 PM
They’re so thankful I feel better off of it now without having to rinse my own family to fund my addiction
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@Deleted User I get these loud belly laughs at everything. They replace my inner "that was funny" monologue
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Yes I do laugh more. Weed was at a point where it was making me so serious and anxious
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@~*ALiCiA*~ one of my best friends as a child is the one who first showed me weed. I feel so sad every day when they call me and I hear them hitting a bong in the background. It's had such a negative effect on their life long term and seeing that is part of why I decided it was time to quit. I wish they could hear how they sound when they try to rationalize it.
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I find movies now funnier and don’t have to “smoke” to find things watchable
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@jackspider oh gosh I can so relate to that
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@~*ALiCiA*~ yes I can get that! It's like I'm making a friend with myself and getting to know me finally. And along with @Katelyn was saying I'm feeling more content with being me and all my weird quirks.
4:25 PM
It makes me smile how silly I can get without being high lol
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@jackspider same mate, the feeling of paranoia that a neighbour or a police officer was going to storm in and ruin my life was a daily worry of mine
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My personality is just to be uncomfortable, generally, but at least it;s more funny sober I guess
4:25 PM
Brains are weird huh?
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I suffer with bi polar unfortunately and genuinely thought weed was this forbidden fruit I’d finally discovered that would help me but it made everything worse
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@Deleted User that would be a pain, my mom and stepdad would get me supplies in hs so I would be calm and not be rambunctious. But in the end it got me mixed up with worse stuff and in rehab.
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Took me to come off it to realise how bad it actually was for my mood swings
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@anonymous 😦 I feel the same way about my best childhood friend. I showed her weed, I bought her her first pipe and accessories, and her and her man just sit on the couch all day smoking... she hasn't made any progress in her life (in my judgemental eyes) in years... I don't take responsibility for her life but I know I've contributed to in negative ways
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If rehab were available where I am I’d have gone to it but I live in quite a deprived area of wales where there’s very little available like that
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Hi don't want to interrupt, but I made it to day 2 and it's nice to listen to you all. 🙂
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@ssciolist Proud of you mate!! Welcome to the community (edited)
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@ssciolist YEEEESSS YOU DID!!!!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ You could just be the first person of your crew to get off the shit. If you influenced them to start using weed and other stuff, you might be able to influence them the other day. Don't push them to quit, but have a cookout or go hiking or something.
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The friend who showed me weed got into heroin later in life and has been on methadone for 8+ years. I am grateful that we parted ways when we did but I can never get over how innocently that started.
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That's what's up @ssciolist I knew you could do it!!
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@ssciolist First few days are always the hardest so if you ever need us, we’re here for you
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prynhawn da
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@ssciolist Great job! Every day is another one to be proud of!
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Oh my god
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I guess I am also grateful because this really could be so much worse.
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@ssciolist Glad to have you here!
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@Gorgoleon totally tried to lead by example and have been vulnerable about my recovery the whole time. Feel its the only way I can contribute in a positive way when it comes to how I influenced them via drugs
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Prynhawn da i ti hefyd!
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Worked with a Welsh guy
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*trying
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I was the person who introduced my brother and cousin to weed. I really hope that if I can make a change, it will help them follow. They both recognize some of the bad effects, but aren't willing to part ways.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ You can't blame yourself fully for what they have decided to do. All we can do is be there for our friends and try to help them the best we can.
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I also know "d*ck head" but 🤭
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@anonymous yes yes absolutely ❤️
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Hahaha I’m glad you picked up on the most important parts 😉
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:29 PM
@here: Okay, new server tradition. Halfway through each session I'll encourage anyone watching to say hi. We're all new friends here, let us know how your quit is going!
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@ssciolist I showed it to my brother and don't think i'll ever forgive myself
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I do appreciate the pings by the way, sometimes I don’t realise this is unlocked when it is so thank you
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@anonymous Yeah I smoked before my little brother did and he is hooked out of control
4:30 PM
I hate it so much
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My brother has taken it to an almost dangerous extreme
4:31 PM
I could say so much
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I’ve got a few friends who tell me they want to quit and are going to then ignore me for days as they’ve relapsed and don’t want to tell me, it’s a shame
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My entire family was depressed for months because of some of the stuff that happened
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Yes! I have been pretty functional (I think, maybe that's my ego), but my brother has made choices to not do things because it would impair his ability to smoke
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I also try to recognize that everyone has their own individual relationship with marijuana and it's not always my place to judge wether it's unhealthy for them. It's unhealthy for ME and has been detrimental to MY success.
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@anonymous mine too...he smoked all day every day, at work, at home, first thing in the morning ,all night, before family events, while driving around, etc.
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I want it almost more for him than for me.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ well said
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I may have made an influence on their use but it is not my relationship or cross to bare
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@~*ALiCiA*~ You're right that's ultimately how we have to live
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Agreed, I only ever help anyone who comes to me for help, I’d never dictate to people whether they should smoke or not
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My brother actually ordered a fake penis on the internet to pass a drug test...it cost 60 bucks. Like, you can;t stop smoking for a month to make more money?
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@Katelyn mine would pass out in his car from smoking like a gram of dabs a day
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Weed for a lot of people is fine and non habit forming, for me unfortunately it certainly was
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Ughhh if you saw my brothers car lol. Are we related?
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one time my parents were at the grocery and saw his car there. They found him passed out and it broke my parents heart.
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@Deleted User yep 😦
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Holy shit
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@anonymous sorry to hear that buddy (edited)
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@Katelyn Hopefully we see your bro here someday, he sounds a lot like I used to be lol
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@Katelyn we might be the same person
4:34 PM
It was a rough period for awhile there. I quit for awhile because I hated what thc had done to him, but I started back up after a family member passed away.
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As sucky as it might sound I wouldn't beat yourselves up about being the introduction to the drug. I was introduced to it by a 40 year old guy when I was 14, I've made the choice to do it. He didnt shove it down my throat like you probably didnt with your friends and family. He told me it would help with anxieties and I believed him. I dont blame him because I got hooked because I didnt smoke with him the hundreds of other times I got high. We all make our own choices in the end
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My family is like "at least it's not pills!" 😫
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@Deleted User thanks I appreciate it
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@IssaBLR so true!!! like I was introduced to it by like a 10th grader when I was in 11th grade lmao
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Trying to explain that weed makes you depressed is hard too. Once you are past the point of diminishing returns it;s just over and you are maintaining like you would with any other drug.
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it was bound to happen
4:36 PM
it's everywhere and also legal in a lot of places!!!
4:36 PM
same goes for alcohol!
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@Katelyn yeah that's the hardest part to accept
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Telling people too you had an addition to is hard when you’re told constantly it’s not addictive (edited)
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@anonymous for me and for anyone I talk to about it lol
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@Deleted User people have a really inflated idea of addiction
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Weed is all about enjoying life, but life isn't all about weed. My life was definitely all about some weed for years.
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and what that looks like
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Exactly careergirl
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@Gorgoleon ooh yes!!!
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Well said Gorg too
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@Katelyn exactly, after a point you're just using it to feel normal again and like @Deleted User said it's so easy to rationalize it because everyone says it's not addictive
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Weed turned legal here when I had to call it quits. I always wonder how different it would've been to my mental health if I didn't have to hide all those years
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@anonymous right? It's just so available these days and everyone is so pro weed, they tend to look past the negative aspects of it psychologically for some of us.
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I remember in that dave chappelle movie half baked there's that scene where they boo him off the stage at the AA meeting
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Weird to say but I wonder if I’d be here in this chat now if it wasn’t for lockdown
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I had a convo with my SO about it and he brought up that line from Half Baked about sucking dick for weed and I was like "dude, shut up" lol. That what everyone thinks. I know plenty of people who never went that far and it;s a dangerous bar to set for whetehr or not somthign is addictive.
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@jackspider interesting! how long have you been sober?
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:38 PM
The definition of addiction we use at r/leaves is the one used by most medical professionals, "continued use despite negative consequences." You just have to want to stop because bad things are happening, and not be able to stop. That's it.
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@Deleted User I wouldn't be here, I would be in an office! The virus is weirdly good for these types of transitions
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@IssaBLR yeah everything from the entertainment we consume to the people around us, it's all pro weed and it's basically implanted in our minds at this point that's it's not harmful
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@jackspider that's a good point you made there. If it was more acceptable like alcohol growing up I feel like half of my anxieties while smoking would've been gone. (edited)
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@Deleted User I know I wouldnt be
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@Katelyn every cloud eh mate
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8 days now but I was able to do 10 weeks 3 different times and 2 weeks twice in the past 2 years
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@Katelyn agreed!!! its stressful as hell but we're doing our best
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@jackspider superb effort
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@Deleted User Yup. I can see how it's harder for people who are already established but I need this time to slip and fall before getting on my feet
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@jackspider ah that's right
4:39 PM
not an easy feat!
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@Katelyn same, it took me to have absolutely no money and no way of getting it for me to finally kick this habit
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What knocked you off at 10 weeks @jackspider that's where I am now..?
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@Katelyn i cannot imagine having to go through withdrawals and working in the office
4:40 PM
I'd lose it!!!
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@Katelyn that scene has always stuck with me lol. Everyone has a different low point. For some it's prostituting yourself out for another hit and for others it's missing out on the life going on around you
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:40 PM
@jackspider It's worth looking that exact circumstances that caused you to return to smoking after those long breaks. People, place, your state of mind. It will help you avoid it in the future...
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@~*ALiCiA*~ losing sleep is what kills it the most for me. At home I can be sleepy all morning
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The urges come back. Nothing changes in my life so I was thinking hey maybe weed isn't the problem. But this time I'm creating new habits and stuff
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@Katelyn Literally one of the best parts of being a dealer. There'll be people down to exchange favors.
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@anonymous so true, that's what beautiful about an AA program is the range of stories and people that come through
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@jackspider Yeah, I get that way at a month. "I could probably handle this in moderation now" ... never been true
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@~*ALiCiA*~ it really is, i've considered looking up online meetings before
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But I'm also struggling with the white liquor. Not that I was a real addict but I've used weed to stop those urges so it's a bit of a mess
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@anonymous I'm in program for other things and the online meetings are rough for me... it's so chaotic and not as streamlined as in person meetings but they really do make a difference and keep you accountable
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talking about the withdrawals, I remember in college there was a period where I had no way to get any weed. For about two weeks I would throw up first thing in the morning after sleeping probably 10 minutes the night before. Such an awful experience, yet all I could think about was how I could get high.
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:43 PM
@anonymous Have you seen AA's Discord server? They do structured meetings as well as chat, which we may do as well at some point. It was a big help for me in getting this set up.
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I had a bad week 9, maybe week 10 will be kinder for me 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I haven't seen the discord or really looked into anything
4:43 PM
Could you all send me a link?
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@M1NDFEEDER what was rough about week 9 if you don't mind me asking?
4:44 PM
was it anything in particular?
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@M1NDFEEDER that's a good way to look at it, do you know why your week 9 was bad? Maybe it will help out for a better week 10!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:44 PM
@anonymous Sent you an invite -- they have 1 speaker structured meetings on a schedule that they link to on a web page.
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Lol same question
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:45 PM
@anonymous Easier than the raging river chat can be. 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction thanks so much i'll check it out!
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Oh I decided to delete reddit so I wouldn't feel bad and have a relapse. Just got it in my head it's what I wanted
4:45 PM
I didn't but I seriously thought about it
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what about reddit was making you feel bad @M1NDFEEDER
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Ayy what's good
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:47 PM
Hey @Phaxxy , welcome!
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Today is good my friend @Phaxxy how you doing?
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Reddit wasn't. It was the fact I'd been posting through my entire recovery "keep going everyone" blah blah blah and then wanted to relapse. Guilt and feeling hypocritical really. All in my head
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@Moderator -- Subduction @IssaBLR Thanks guys. I'm doing fantastic
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hey @Phaxxy happy you joined!!!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ yer
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@Phaxxy good to see you, how's it going?
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@M1NDFEEDER I can understand that, like just delete it - remove the guilt! get it out of my face!
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@Phaxxy hey man hope you’re well
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@M1NDFEEDER I have felt that way so many times when I would quit in the past
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Thank you for making this by the way @Moderator -- Subduction
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Going pretty smooth. been doing some schoolwork and playing minecraft lol. how are you @Deleted User @anonymous @IssaBLR
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@Phaxxy That sounds good, about to pop to Asda to pick up some things
4:49 PM
Amazing how much more money I have for food now lol
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@Phaxxy I'm doing pretty good just drinking some coffee and playing runescape haha
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be safe homie @Deleted User
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Thanks mate, all the best
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@Deleted User The money saved is insane lol. I don't even wanna think about how much I threw away in the past.
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@M1NDFEEDER that's awesome you were actually posting about your recovery, I would be proud that you got through those bad thoughts.
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@anonymous hell yeah dude. love me some coffee in the morning. have you tried yoga and meditation as well? Really good ways to wake the body up
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Have a good one @Deleted User!
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❤️❤️❤️
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@anonymous I tried to quantify my cocaine habit years ago and I couldn't continue because I just cried... The marijuana habit? I don't even want to start.
4:51 PM
@Phaxxy I just started engaging with yoga and meditation a few months ago it's done wonders!!!!
4:51 PM
bye @Deleted User !!!!!
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I'm doing alright though @Phaxxy hanging out with my daughter while she plays animal crossing. I love meditating though, it's a very good way to ground yourself.
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@Phaxxy I've done some meditation in the past and it's helped immensely. A little bit before I quit I was having the worst anxiety attacks and meditation helped a lot.
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yeah yoga is pimp af.
4:52 PM
what kinda meditation do you guys like to do?
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@~*ALiCiA*~ At least we can move forward now. Money is only temporary even if it does sting to think about it.
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anyone read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle?
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Still a work in progress @IssaBLR 🤷🏼‍♀️
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@~*ALiCiA*~ great book
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I am dipping out everyone-- nice talking to you and DON'T DO DRUGS TOTAY! 😄
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@anonymous very true!!
4:52 PM
ahaha byeeeee @Katelyn !!!!
4:52 PM
see ya soon
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@Katelyn see ya, have a great day!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:53 PM
Good to see you @Katelyn !
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it's been super influential for me @Phaxxy
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Journaling has been a big part of my quit. 7 Habits of Highly Successful People has a good guide to planning out your goals
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@Phaxxy I try to practice mindfulness
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+1 for journaling. Spotify has a decent guided meditation playlist too.
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@Gorgoleon oooh yes - I need to actually read that one. I've listend to so many podcasts surrounding the book but never read it. I feel like it's a classic
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@Katelyn peace brother have a good one!
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@ssciolist oooh good to know!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:54 PM
If anyone hasn't tried meditation and would like to give it a shot, I made a post awhile back on how to get started. https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/85u18y/some_notes_and_encouragement_on_meditation_from/
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Yeah lots of people consider it a classic lol
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@~*ALiCiA*~ thats sick. i went to a program not too long ago (not drug related) and our form of entertainment was books haha
4:54 PM
@anonymous word dude. that's a tough one but it's super gratifying
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@Phaxxy any others you'd reccommend? I've been reading a ton during this quarantine
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@~*ALiCiA*~ do you like stories or self help books?
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mainly self help - non fiction but anecdotal experience I like too
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@~*ALiCiA*~ -- I'm impressed how much reading you and others are doing -- I feel like I've barely got concentration back
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:56 PM
Five minute warning folks! We'll be wrappng up at noon, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern Time, UTC-4
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@~*ALiCiA*~ power of habit is really good, designing your life is really good, also the depression cure is really good but its a tough read
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@ssciolist I force myself to do it... I seriously haven't read books in years. Just trying to fill the time with soemthing better
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Ok, good moment for me to sign off. Thank you all for your time.
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Has anyone read heroin diaries ?
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@ssciolist later homie
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@ssciolist right? I'm with you there, I've downloaded libby yesterday and managed to make it to chapter two on a book.
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 4:56 PM
Good to see you @ssciolist !
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ooh power of habit I have saved... designing your life sounds cool! I'll look into it!
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@ssciolist have a good one and and talk to you later!
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bye @ssciolist !!! see ya soon
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@ssciolist bye have a good rest of the day!
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@jackspider no I haven't!
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@jackspider I've heard of it but haven't read it
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looking it up now
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@~*ALiCiA*~ i know you said help help books but if you haven't read the alchemist already, it's a classic dude. it's one of those books you read more than once
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I'm reading Memoir of an Addicted Brain currently which I've mentioned here before
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I wouldn't recommend it. reading about a rock star partying wasn't good for me
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they say when you read a book for the second time, it's not something in the book you see that you missed but something in yourself you see you missed
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ooooooh yes yes !!!!
4:58 PM
Adding that to my life now - this keeps being recccomended to me haha
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Love the Alchemist, hell yeah
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wow! love that @Phaxxy
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not my words haha
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Alright i've got a nice little list of stuff here to read now lol
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yeah thanks yall!
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make your bed is a short read that's really good
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Everyone have a great day and I'll see you guys later! I really have to give that reading thing a try lol
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Later!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 5:00 PM
Okay all, closing the gates for now. Hope to see you all at 5pm EDT!
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Thank you all for chatting, it's been a lot of fun and really helped me out!
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love you guys cya
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:00 PM
Hey everybody! the number of people here gets bigger every session!
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What up what up man
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:01 PM
Here's the protocol -- chat like this can sometimes feel like a fast river, but just jump in and say hello! Everyone here is new, but already friends are being made, and we want to meet you!
10:02 PM
Hey @Deleted User !
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this is Iron Mike, 32 days sober today. How y'all doing.
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Hey everyone!
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Greetings from Denmark everybody
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thought the server didnt open for another houre
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What's up everyone, I'm 17 days clean today after 10 years of smoking. How's your day been @Moderator -- Subduction
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10 years straight? @IssaBLR
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oh heyyyyy!!! 5 days going strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:04 PM
Hey @IssaBLR ! It's been good so far. Trying to get bots and scheduling apps to run properly for leaves and the discord, so a bit of a frustrating tech day, but they always fight back some.
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2 days here haha
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how's your withdrawals been so far @~*ALiCiA*~
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:05 PM
@Maxwell Every day, 5pm EDT (UTC-4) 🙂
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gotchaaa
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bad in the mornings but better throughout the day. Last night was horrific w/ dreams and sleep paralysis caused by melatonin
10:05 PM
but we are moving along!
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yeah and 11 AM
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you @Deleted User ?
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i also get sleep paralysis sometimes
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sleep paralysis is fucking horrible man, did you see anything or did you just keep ur eyes closed? My day was pretty good thanks 🙂
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You're doing great work from what I can see @Moderator -- Subduction I'm glad your day has been good though!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:06 PM
Thanks!
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When I get sleep paralysis i never see anything i always try to stand up and i either cant or think i stood up only to be stuck in bed
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I've only ever had auditory hallucinations in the past but this time was visual 😦
10:07 PM
@Maxwell ugh the worst
10:09 PM
anyone else on that wants to introduce themselves!?!
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I remember the last time I had it I "woke" up in bed and someone was breaking into my house. It was an all blacked out demon or something with white eyes and hair. I moved so slow and he kept on beating me until i died and then I would just "wake" up in bed again just to have him break in again. Truly terrifying lol
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jesus christ @IssaBLR no thanks!!!
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Jesus christ @IssaBLR
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:10 PM
@here: If you're a lurker, please take the plunge and say hi, tell us a little about where you are in your quit, and how you're feeling...
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How many times has this happened @IssaBLR
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The worst part was the anxiety the next day I felt so off lol
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i can only imagine
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i see why you tried out boxing bondomatic
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@Maxwell this happened actually a couple months ago when I was smoking. I used to get em real bad when I was younger. Same thing kind of but the demons or whatever used to sit on my back and i couldn't move. Like they'd mess with my hair and stuff and it drove me crazy
10:13 PM
@Deleted User lmao I dont think any type of boxing could take on those demons
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holy shit man I would have a hard time falling asleep after that
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What did they look like?
10:13 PM
or could you see them
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Idk about Mike Tyson he's a demon himself!
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That's true I think I would've been more terrified to see him in my dreams lmao
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i had a nightmare that i had to get in the ring with him once lol
10:14 PM
can't quite beat those sleep paralysis nightmares but it was close
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They were typically just blacked out figures, or when it wasn't visual I couldn't see them but I could hear them coming into the room and felt them watching me. Same deal though I couldn't move at all.
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Day 71 here popping in to say hello again
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mine looked reminiscent to the american gothic couple
10:15 PM
HIIIII @M1NDFEEDER !!
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@Deleted User how'd you do in the fight? I would've been rooting for ya I always like the underdog lol
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is sleepy paralysis always bad because ive never had a negative time, its just annoying to me
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I charged him and then he hit me with a left hook and i woke up
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How are you @M1NDFEEDER
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@M1NDFEEDER what's up I'm glad to see you again!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:16 PM
Hey @M1NDFEEDER !
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He knocked your a** awake! @Deleted User (edited)
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whenever somebody is trying to kill me in a nightmare my "dreamself" always just berserk charges and then i wake up
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Hi hi hi I won't tag I'm old and should probably have my glasses on I'm much better as the day is passing 😁 How's everyone else? (edited)
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Hahaha yeah I guess you could say that
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@M1NDFEEDER just had a slice of blueberry pie so today is better than yesterday!
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Pie does make everything better doesn't it? Although I'm partial to the savoury type
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sounds fooken delicious
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@M1NDFEEDER you know, I can honestly say that I've never had a savory pot pie which is wild to me
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Confirmed you're not British then 😆
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hahah!
10:20 PM
got me
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Mindfeeder how are you feeling off the weed for so long
10:20 PM
any effects of the weed still remaining in your system?
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Do you want like a rough time line?
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Sure man
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So day 1 is sucky 2 slightly better 3 was similar to 2
10:21 PM
Day 4 kicked my arse
10:21 PM
Then improved a lot til about day 10
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did u make a diary?
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Had a bad day then just went up and up and on and on
10:21 PM
Til last week
10:22 PM
Similar to day 10 ish I'd say
10:22 PM
I made it though
10:22 PM
Well I used the Grounded app and journaled in there my cravings and feelings and such but after a few weeks I kept forgetting (edited)
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ahh alright
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You did though and congrats again on that @M1NDFEEDER do you feel different overall than from when you were smoking?
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do you feel like some days are shit and some are good as well
10:23 PM
for no apparent reason either
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@IssaBLR I feel like old me again I guess. I feel emotions again. It's not always nice but it's human right? To fucking feel. And I abused to numb stuff
10:25 PM
But @Deleted User yeah I have sucky days. I probably have depression. Or you know maybe I just don't like lockdown right? 😂 (edited)
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Yeah true, could be the lockdown that's making it more obvious
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:25 PM
That's the hard part -- when you've been smoking for years it can be hard to remember who the "old me" was.
10:25 PM
That person may be long gone.
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Up until lockdown I was really making strides in my life. I lost my job which I'd just got due to covid. That hurt but I stayed sober
10:26 PM
Yeah @Moderator -- Subduction but old me was an asshole anyways she's best off gone 😆
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I can get what you are saying there, I've talked about it before and it's like all the emotions that you tried to numb are coming back to bite you. I've never felt more human than this past week, its liberating and burdening at the same time.
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:27 PM
lol
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the other morning before I quit smoking, I woke up and made some coffee and started drinking it without having smoked first and I had this moment where I was like "damn, I'm buzzing! I feel great!" and then i realized I hadn't smoked yet and I was like, is this what sobriety feels like? and I couldn't help but laugh.
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Yeah joy does return to the sober mind
10:27 PM
It's nice right? Seeing the flowers again?
10:28 PM
Smelling the air? ENJOYING life
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truly!
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I'll shut up now anyways 😆
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Not being half aware of my surroundings or own thoughts and feelings
10:28 PM
haha
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It is and I'm ready for this corona virus to be over with, it's been sad having to deal with the repercussions of it. To experience the life I missed because I was smoking all the time!
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i havent not been high since i was a kid i started at 14 years old so i havent expierenced sobriety as an adult
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:29 PM
@M1NDFEEDER It's a more complex joy than we used to get when we first got high, but there so much more of it to be had.
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maximus how old were you again
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yeah we're in the same boat
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ill be 20 in september
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Yeah agree @Moderator -- Subduction I think we as "former" addicts have a different perspective than other people too. The "" are for me not you 😂
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Having a tough time the last couple days a few weeks in with cravings + irritability. Good reminder the path to detox isn’t totally linear, and luckily the physical symptoms aren’t popping back up.
10:32 PM
I thought I was out of the woods last week when I felt great 😅
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what kind of physical symptoms would you get? @yames
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I had really bad nausea and insane belching
10:33 PM
And night sweats as well
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:33 PM
@M1NDFEEDER It's funny how even at 21 years sober how not "former" I feel. It's fully in control, but it's right next to me waiting for me to slip up.
10:34 PM
@here This is your halfway through the session encouragement to say hello if you haven't yet. Don't wait, jump right in!
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Very true but I think 21 years and 71 days are different beasts, your sobriety could purchase alcohol 😆 @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:34 PM
lol!
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youve been sover longer than ive neem alive @Moderator -- Subduction O.o
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:34 PM
Not that its should.
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No that'd be counterproductive perhaps
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Evening guys, hope you’re all doing well x
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Anyways I'm shushing
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I get crazy smoking cravings whenever I have a drop of booze in me
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You and me both antidote!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:35 PM
@Maxwell 🙂 You do not, however, have to get off my lawn.
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One day I’ll even quit cigs too
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Whats up @Deleted User
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I’m good bro, how are you?
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Day 2 feeling
10:36 PM
werid
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:37 PM
@yames I had to quit drinking too. I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic or not, I can't drink a lot because it makes me pretty sick, but I know that when I drink all I want to do is smoke so it's too big a risk.
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What's up @Deleted User and @yames !
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Hey bond!
10:37 PM
@Maxwell first 3 days is horrible broski
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Heyo @IssaBLR
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Hey @Deleted User and @yames !!!
10:38 PM
welcome back !
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@Moderator -- Subduction I was feeling the same way. I got drunk during my first week and the association toward smoking was too strong and felt like it could jeopardize my sobriety from weed.
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@Moderator -- Subduction Yeah luckily alcohol disagrees with my tummy enough that I only do it socially, when it feels worth the trade off. So right now in this wildly unsocial time I’m cruising totally sober save for caffeine
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:40 PM
Anything that lowers your resolve and inhibition is a risk!
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I’m actually finding it easier while in quarantine than I antiticpate once things open back up... been worried about picking up hanging out with my friends, smoke-Free. They’re all supportive but I know the temptation will be there
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@yames it's good that you're thinking about this now cause I have been too. The temptations will be strong once everything opens back up by like sub says it's good to have a plan for when those triggers come up.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ thank you! Hope you’re good
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yeah complete sobriety is the way for me right now... one triggers the other
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@~*ALiCiA*~ hey there. @IssaBLR Absolutely. I feel sort of blessed to be in the early aughts of this process during a time with relatively little temptation.
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same @yames would not want to go through withdrawals while in the throws of being at work
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I agree fully, that's why I think most of my other attempts didnt work out. I felt like I had to be high to deal with work.
10:44 PM
Now I had the time to fully focus and it's been extremely beneficial.
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:45 PM
Are you guys working from home, or on furlough?
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I was a dog walker leading up to this and unfortunately people are quite available to all their own pups. Waiting for unemployment to kick in 😅
10:46 PM
Walk*
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:47 PM
Right, that will do it...
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I work full time as an electrician and collecting unemployment rn. My job site had 50+ guys on it and it was too risky for me to go in with a pregnant wife at home.
10:48 PM
@yames that's one of my dream jobs once I hit the lottery, I love puppers lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:48 PM
@IssaBLR That was a hard, but good decision. My wife works in construction management and they've shut down all their sites.
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@IssaBLR Hah it’s definitely a great gig barring the payout.
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@Moderator -- Subduction yeah it's crazy how many sites were still pushing the manpower until just a few weeks ago.
10:50 PM
I've seen those portapotties and how many guys come out without using the hand sanitizer lol
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'm working from home or rather, trying to work during a global crisis in my own home.
10:50 PM
but grateful none the less
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:51 PM
@IssaBLR Some are still up and running. I'm just outside DC, where Amazon is relocating to, and we still see the big cranes moving.
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@Moderator -- Subduction I can believe it, my dad is an electrician too and hes still working at the FedEx facility in the airport where they have hundreds of workers there. With a shuttle bus service to get them to work.
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Yeah construction is still pushing on some here in Brooklyn. Definitely a bit stressful
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:53 PM
Shuttle bus. Great.
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Don’t think I could bring myself to keep walking pups out there given the option, since I live with my folks
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@~*ALiCiA*~ kudos to you if I worked from home nothing would ever get done lmao
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@IssaBLR I'm not very productive honestly
10:54 PM
and all the zoom meetings give me all the anxiety
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:54 PM
@yames I grew up on LI and lived in Manhattan for 23 years, it's really my home. You guys have really been setting an example up there. Good to see.
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but just grateful to be working still. my housemates all work in event production so they're out of work for the rest of the year most likely
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I can imagine the zoom meetings being stressful, I haven't done a web meeting in years and wouldn't know how to conduct myself properly lol
10:57 PM
@yames do you miss the doggos?
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Some of them. I had some real pains in the ass 😅
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it's not fun but we learn to cope!! cant imagine it will be changing before mid june
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I really miss the outdoor time and walking ~10 miles a day. Been a tough adjustment
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LA and New Orleans are on lockdown till mid may most likely till june
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I try to tire myself out everyday to produce a similar effect lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 10:58 PM
Just as a programming note, I think we'll try some structured meetings next week and see how those go. One speaker at a time, taking turns. Some people less comfortable with the avalanche-speed chat format may find that more comfortable. So stay tuned!
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love that @Moderator -- Subduction
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Sounds good @Moderator -- Subduction
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@Moderator -- Subduction very excited to see keep up the good work!!
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Time zones are weird to us British fancy putting the UK time on the posts too? (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 11:00 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Is UTC-4 not enough to help? My guess was anyone not in my area could use that.
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Have a good day everyone and stay strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 11:00 PM
But my goal is to have a calendar that gives eveyone local times autmatically. But that's going to be some work
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Maybe I'm just extra thick but it means nothing to me 😂
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thankful for yall!
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Moderator -- Subduction 23/04/2020 11:01 PM
Okay all, closing up! I'm really enjoying these. See you back at 11am (4pm in London!) 🙂
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Closing...
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dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:00 PM
@here Leaves Lounge is on the air!
4:00 PM
Good morning everybody!
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gm and hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:01 PM
Happy as always to see so many people here. Can't believe this is just our first week!
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Late afternoon for me but good morning to you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:01 PM
Hey @Xtreme , hi @ChazzaMcRock !
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:02 PM
Usual introductions -- I'm subduction, I had 10 years smoking all I could every day, now I have 21 years sober
4:02 PM
Please jump in and introduce yourselves!
4:03 PM
Hey @M1NDFEEDER !
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goood MORNING!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:03 PM
TCG! Good morning!
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hi good morning @Xtreme and @M1NDFEEDER and @Moderator -- Subduction !!!
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Afternoon
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I'm 6 days sober and going strong after 10 years of being a stoner
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:04 PM
(4pm, London time)
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I'm xtreme - been off and on smoking for 9 years. Was just a casual smoker but got addicted to cannabis distillates. I am currently 5 days sober.
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Ahahah @Moderator -- Subduction
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I finally slept last night!!! Woke up nauseous and super early but used the time to make my housemates and neighbors muffins 🙂
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I'm chazzamcrock- smoked for 3 years. First 2 were maybe once or twice weekly which I was fine with. Then third year it was every day multiple times a day I would race home to smoke. Then went to a festival got through over half ounce in a weekend and it was way too much. Decided to quit in June. Mostly quit my September. Actually quit in December
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wow congrats @Xtreme !!!
4:05 PM
looks like we are in a similar boat 🙂
4:05 PM
Hi @ChazzaMcRock !!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:05 PM
Glad your here @Xtreme , 5 days is awesome!
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Hey everyone
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wow congrats!! @ChazzaMcRock how are you feeling these days?
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:05 PM
Hi anon!
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hey @anonymous good to see you again!
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Happy to see some people from yesterday again
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So much better. I quit actual cigarettes the same time so double whammy @~*ALiCiA*~. I'm more productive eat healthier for the most part (ignore that pizza I had last night) and I'm happier
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I’m anonymous, daily smoker for 6 years and I’ve been sober for 81 days now
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how are you feeling @Xtreme ?
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I'm glad there is others who want to clean up as well.
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Whenever I smoked I kept having these existential crises. Any one else get that?
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What's up everyone and great to see some familiar faces! Nice to meet you @Xtreme! I'm 18 days sober now after 10 years of smoking.
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damn! @ChazzaMcRock nice work! I've wanted to smoke tobacco so bad since I've quit but I think only due to the tactile habit of smoking something.
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@Xtreme yeah yesterday was my first time on here and it really helped me a lot seeing how much everyone else was trying
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Well, i just got laid off from my job as of yesterday - most likely due to performance issues. They told me it was because of "covid-19" but i know it wasn't.
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@ChazzaMcRock I was getting bad ptsd symptoms while smoking during quarantine which led me to stop...
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@ChazzaMcRock that takes a lot of dedication and you’re doing good
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@Xtreme virtual hugs my friend ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:08 PM
@Xtreme I was in a similar position when I smoked. I worked for myself, but the business just kept droping and dropping, because I wasn't engaged.
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how are you feeling @anonymous ??
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@Xtreme it is an awesome community that shows a lot of support. I've been here every day since it started lol
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hey @IssaBLR !!
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Hey hey @~*ALiCiA*~ !!
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@anonymous thank you! It's just forming new good habits to replace the old
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I’m feeling pretty good today, haven’t really thought about smoking or anything since the beginning of this week. How are you doing today?
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Still get cravings now and again when I've had a shit day
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Also has anyone had to deal with the stress of trying to file for unemployment right now lol?
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i filed yesterday.
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@anonymous that's great!! my cravings come at night and I know it's just me wanting to FEEL something outside of myself... I ate a late night snack which I never do last night to sort of curb that craving... don't want to replace smoking with food but I'm showing myself grace at the time.
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@ChazzaMcRock it comes and goes for me. I’ve been in the same situation if anything goes wrong my immediate thought is to smoke again, but I’ve stopped myself.
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@anonymous I've filed and it was a hassle at first but once I got to the point where its just filing out the vouchers every week it got easier.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily bad if it’s a healthy snack every once in awhile lol
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@anonymous right!
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i smoked mainly to escape feelings of not being good enough and to be fake happy. i was trying to cover up things i have to deal with head on.
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@Xtreme @IssaBLR I filed near the end of March and request the payment once. It still hasn’t come in and I’m getting kind of worried.
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I cough less which is nice
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@Xtreme aint that real!!
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Still cough though. But not as badly. Hoping it continues to improve
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@anonymous have you recieved any pay at all? And where you from?
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@ChazzaMcRock I'm curious how my performance at the gym will change now that Im not getting violently high before each session lmao definitely not coughing anymore either. especially from smoking oil/wax
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@~*ALiCiA*~ you will run further. Honestly even a week without smoking you notice a huge difference
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@IssaBLR nope it’s said my claim is under investigation for about two weeks now and I’m in Kentucky
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hell yeah
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@Xtreme I know firsthand what that’s like. Weed at first seemed like this miracle drug that cured every single insecurity I ever had in my life. In the end though I’ve realized it only prevented me from dealing with what was actually causing those problems.
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@anonymous mine was held up for a week and then it finally went through, I haven't received any back pay for March though. You might have to call which sucks cause I know the hold is forever.
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@anonymous It felt great, i was way more sociable and opened up and made more friends. The dark side of it was I was losing my memory and my performance at work suffered.
4:17 PM
Also, I stopped caring about my health, eating worse and not exercising like I use to.
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@IssaBLR I’ve been trying to call forever, just gotta keep trying I guess.
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I'm finding I'm so much more caring and earnest with my housemates when I'm not high. not that I was a bitch before or anything, I'm just more in tune with my surroundings and that makes me feel more connected
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@Xtreme Yeah that happened to me many times. I was in such good shape for awhile but decided to smoke once and it was all downhill from there.
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Hi, had some internet issues. I'm 3 days sober and have been smoking problematically for at least the last 4 years
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hey @ssciolist so happy to see you back!!
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@anonymous tis a pain but keep on trooping through hopefully it pops up for ya.
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day THREEEE !!! LETS GO!!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:18 PM
Hey @ssciolist !
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Thank you, nice to see you too! NOT ENOUGH CAPS
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@ssciolist what's up glad to see you again!! (edited)
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hahaha this coffee is like way strong... used a new brand lol
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@~*ALiCiA*~ that’s great that you’re becoming more involved in their lives now! Weed kind of makes me numb to my surroundings as well
4:19 PM
@ssciolist welcome back!
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Yesterday was fine, mostly I have been suuuuuuper cranky and my partner and I haven't been on the same wavelength. But that's managable. Also not productive at work, but it's a good time for that.
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damn that bot really told me to calm down....
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What did it say lol?
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@ssciolist working from home is no easy feat especially if you don't do it regularly and are well adapted to it
4:21 PM
that I was using too much caps haha @anonymous
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:21 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ lol, there was a caps warning? I'll turn that off. Shout all you like. 🙂
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At my old job, it paid well enough that I could afford a coworking space and I did that mostly so I wouldn't smoke during the work day
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hahaha I just like to INFLECT
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IT'S SUNNY IN ENGLAND WTF?!
4:22 PM
Yep told off too 😆
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hahaha @M1NDFEEDER rude!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:22 PM
ALRIGHT PEOPLE, THAT'S ENOUGH.
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Hm, mix them in. IF YOU SAY ONE THING but not all things caps, it seems fine lol
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@ssciolist coworking spaces can be so nice
4:23 PM
hahaha @Moderator -- Subduction I lol'd
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My username must really upset it
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Yeah, quarantine meant the return of my worst worst habits
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:23 PM
Okay, try it now. Someone shout. (I'm exempt)
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HEY IT'S HOT AND NICE IN ENGLAND
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I’m gonna have to get off early here, it was great talking to everyone again and meeting some new people. I might be on later at 5, but if not take care everyone!
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No warning 👌🏻
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Nice to see you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:24 PM
Good to see you @anonymous !
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Have a good one @anonymous !!
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Adios @anonymous
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later friend!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:26 PM
@here Just a reminder, if you're lurking, please jump in and say hello. We'd love to meet you!
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Has anyone realized that not smoking changes your perceptions on loved ones? Whether they're sober or not but if you're with them all the time, smoking helped you tolerate to be around them?
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Not smoking has made me more tolerant to a lot of things actually
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I noticed that when I smoked, I actually had a harder time with my partner. I love him to death and think he's so smart and when I smoked, I would often think that he was making fun of me or thought he was better than me -- weed just let my insecurities out to play
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Even strangers. "No no, it's okay you be rude"
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It's nice to not wonder if I'm acting crazy bc I'm high out doing normal business lol
🙂 1
4:30 PM
speaking of strangers ^
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@IssaBLR yes it made me more detached from my relationships.
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I mean I'm still convinced people are staring at me but let's not poke that bear
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@M1NDFEEDER hahaha!!
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I find that I'm less concerned with people around me, like who's looking at me, what they're thinking, etc. I'm more centered and occupying my own space.
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I also look less like a crackhead about to rob your granny
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I noticed that yesterday while I was out on a walk
4:32 PM
HAAH @M1NDFEEDER
4:32 PM
incredible analogy
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The change in skin and eyes and everything is NICE
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smoking also made my anxiety feel x1000 worse
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I see what you all are saying, I feel more open and expressive with my emotions but I'm fearing with that I'm kind of start losing people around me. Like its they were more content with me smoking. 😔
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@M1NDFEEDER yeah I took a picture of my eyes the first day I quit to see if there would be a difference a month from now
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@Xtreme agree. It spikes in this awful awful way that has helped me rationalize weed in the past
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That could also be your perception. Or your addict brain trying to convince you people only like stoned you @IssaBLR (edited)
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@Xtreme same!! it wasn't always like that for me though... .espeically when I first stsarted out
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I think that if we can get over the hump, that anxiety falls back down to better levels. And then I can concentrate on better coping
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I'll put my glasses on no one deserves these typos
😆 1
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like what a pain to realize that EXERCISE helps me 😛
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@~*ALiCiA*~ noticed any difference yet?
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I've thought that too, at this point it feels like I'm just preparing for the inevitable. I'm not wanting to smoke again but still maintain my lifestyle with the people around me. Like an analogy, sober me is trying to live in the house addict me built.
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Ah but sober you is better at wallpapering
4:36 PM
And if the house starts to crumble, then move out
4:36 PM
It's hard dumping an entire lifestyle
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Not the inevitable of me smoking but everyone ending up leaving me because of the way i act. And my house I spent years working on is gone.
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I don't think so?? @M1NDFEEDER It's only been 6 days for me
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@IssaBLR Sometimes it helps me to remember that not everything has to change at once.
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I like the way you put that though @M1NDFEEDER I have been working on my art skills!
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But if the house was too small? You wouldn't wear too small pants right?
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the dreams lately have been super crazy since quitting
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@Xtreme omg you're telling me
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and they are the dreams you dont forget upon waking up, they feel so real
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Ah okay wasn't sure how far in you were. You will see a difference though @~*ALiCiA*~
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:38 PM
@Xtreme We see that a ton at r/leaves. It was one of the first consistent withdrawal symptoms I noticed being reported when r/leaves started 9 years ago.
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@IssaBLR Oh I'm full of crap me mate 😆
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@Xtreme yeah definitely I've been journaling about mine in the mornings
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@M1NDFEEDER lol no you have great metaphors and I dig them. It's like two toilets talking together 😂
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I dreamed I was being suffocated last week
4:39 PM
Woke up cos I'd punched the wall to try an escape
4:39 PM
Fun times 🖤
4:40 PM
Well I do like to circle the drain at times @IssaBLR 🤷🏼‍♀️😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:42 PM
Just curious, what withdrawals do you all feel like you experienced?
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Must be the reason why you're feeling so flushed lately. 😅😂
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:42 PM
What's the list that you attribute to quitting?
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NO THAT'S COS ENGLAND IS SUNNY I'M SUNBURNT 🙄😆
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the withdrawals aren't so bad with weed, i have more with alcohol and nicotine/porn/videogames
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@Moderator -- Subduction mood swings definitely, I've had sweats only two nights, vivid dreams, headaches and brain cloudiness.
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Insomnia, agitation, anxiety, anger, restlessness, irritability,lack of concentration, apathy, sadness, suicidal thoughts,
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I get phantom pains and nausea in the morning, mood swings have subsided now
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i just miss the fake happiness i get with weed, so awe and wonder feeling and the way the mind connects things i wouldnt have sober.
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definitely poor sleep and dreams but last night was decent for me!
4:45 PM
@Xtreme yeah definitely!!!
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Ah yes and insomnia too but that's partly do to my crappy sleep schedule too.
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Hand sweats, body sweats, emotional outbursts, mood swings, bowel issues
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:45 PM
@Xtreme I miss that too sometimes. It was convenient to not feel happy and then suddenly command your brain to feel a different way.
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Good times
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like going on a walk made me feel like snow white but now that I'm sober it's just me and honestly it's starting to feel kindof nice... I'm starting to enjoy being sober and coherent and aware.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:45 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol
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quit list:
  • I want to run again and not worry that my lungs are holding me back
  • I actually care about my current job and don't want to smoke during the day
  • I have more energy the more I abstain
  • I don't want weed to hold me back from getting more cool things done in life
current withdrawls:
  • c-r-a-n-k-y
  • worse sleep
  • woke myself up coughing?
  • dreams coming back with a vengance
👍 3
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oooh nice @ssciolist
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i now understand why my grandma (bless her soul) would criticize stoners so much. haha
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@~*ALiCiA*~ I love that feeling too, I thought me smoking would help me stop and sniff the flowers but now I realized it made me too high to even notice them.
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@IssaBLR right its all an illusion with weed
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I've just got back from the park. It's way nicer sober
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i went for a 3 mile walk this morning at 5 am, dead streets and no soul in sight. it felt great sober.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:48 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ To paraphrase a member on reddit: "You're not using the weed to enhance the walk, you're using the walk to enhance the weed."
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@Xtreme I need to start running in the morning again, I agree it's so peaceful and quiet during those hours.
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@Moderator -- Subduction oh I like that
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Streets are dead here. Parks are full. We all locked up
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@IssaBLR running is one of the ways I enjoy the quit a bit more. I'm not very good, but I like thinking about my lungs doing their best
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:49 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Our parks are closed, things are pretty quite here in DC
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ooooh what a great way to articulate that sentiment @Moderator -- Subduction and whoever wrote it!
4:50 PM
@Xtreme oooh that sounds wonderful!
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@ssciolist you're doing great, if you've made it outside to the streets that's a plus in my books!
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Managed to stay sober, 2 weeks 1 day, a lot in part to @IssaBLR Really being my mellow when i was in a spiral, i was spiralling hard for like 15-18 hours, legitimately ready to just drop my Family to get high and make all the bad stop and instantly feel good no matter the cost, Thankfully i didn't. I mentioned i kind of "Cheated" my first 12 days, not by smoking weed but by using other means to dull my cravings and i feel that has significantly set my progress back, so my "hump" which was 2 weeks is really 3 days into it and i will probably have another 2 or 3 weeks before i show signs of improvement or what i consider improvements. Still really, really struggling with dissociation, but thankfully today has been milder, the other problem i have found is, I'm suddenly so bloody Lethargic, i managed to sleep around 2am yesterday for the first time since i stopped, but i woke up at 11:30am feeling like i hadn't slept at all, i can't even be arsed to exert enough effort to pick my son up or take a cigarette break or go for a walk it's just my entire body feels like it hasn't rested in decades. I hope it's worth it, doesn't feel worth it though
4:51 PM
But i remain, Sober. 🙂
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@Enzo It's nice to see you!
4:51 PM
@Enzo and congrats on doing something so freaking hard
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:51 PM
Hey @Enzo ! Happy you're here.
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oh gosh big virtual hugs to you @Enzo so happy to see you back!
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@Enzo I'm glad you made it brother and keep on keeping on! Its definitely going to be worth it.
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I have a feeling our future selves are going to be so grateful for the choices we are making today....
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I was going to pop by yesterday, but legit guys you can ask Bond, that spiral or craving the intensity and severity and the length of time it lasted was unreal like for about 15 straight hours, im not kidding i even told my girlfriend we was done, it was over, she can leave if she wants cos im getting weed, it was bad
4:53 PM
but, i didn't get weed, and it did eventually taper down to just me feeling "ok"
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wowwww I'm soooo so happy to know you pulled through!! that sounds so fucking rough.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:53 PM
@Enzo yet you made it. You made it.
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yes you did @Enzo !!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:53 PM
That's how we get here. We get through a single day, or a single hour, or a single minute, and then move on to the next one.
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@Enzo you said it yourself man it was just a really bad craving. You went through the worst and even though you're not feeling like it now, it's made you stronger. Proud of you!!
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Any idea when the Lethargic might ease up? I haven't really felt it since today to be honest, maybe it was that really long craving and mental taxation that's caused it today, but i hope it doesn't stick around too long
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@Enzo It's pretty cool that you were able to get through such an intense craving. Maybe it means the next one won't be as bad?
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I hope so ^^ 🙂
4:55 PM
or at least next time i can say to myself, you know it ends eventually, the craving when it get's that bad
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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also, I want to point out the kind of emotional taxation and toll that will take on your body going through a withdrawal period like that
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Or you figure out triggers and new coping mechanicisms
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that mental stress will amplify itself in your body
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Every urge is an opportunity to learn
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:56 PM
@Enzo That's exactly what "one day at a time" is all about. You can promise yourself you'll smoke tomorrow, but you just can't smoke today. Often, when you wake up tomorrow, you find it's a different day. Even if it's only very slightly different. 🙂
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Ill try and remember the next time, it seems daft i was willing to say goodbye to everything for a 10 bag of weed, i just hope next time i can persevere again 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 4:59 PM
@Enzo Every one of us has been that daft. Every one.
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Sometimes when you get a streak going that helps. Don't want to lose the big number...
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or now i'm not in that anguish or craving it seems daft, but when i was in it, it was totally rational
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Even if your big number is 5 it's still something
5:00 PM
Peace out 👌🏻
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It's that addicted brain that's telling you that smoking will make everything all better. Ready to trick you to fall into the same patterns. Everyone have a good day guys and I'll talk to you later, stay strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 5:00 PM
Okay folks, we're wrapping up. As always, so happy to see you all! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern today (10pm London, Midnight in Moscow) and I hope to see you all again!
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Take care all, ill try check in tonight, or tomorrow 🙂
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❤️
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oop got to go as well. Probably just a short checkin from me over the weekends. Thanks so so much
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Closing...
5:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:00 PM
Hello everyone, welcome!
10:00 PM
We'll get started as usual with introductions. Even if you've been here before, would you introduce yourself so people know where you are in your quit?
10:01 PM
I can start -- I'm Subduction, I was an everyday smoker for 10 years, and I'm quit now for 21 years.
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Hey guys im Max! im 19 years old and im currently on my 3rd day of sobriety. I have been smoking daily since about 15 years old, so all i know is to be high. Now im finally making a change for the better development of my new adult life.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:04 PM
Hi @Maxwell !
10:04 PM
If you've been a lurker until now, try to say hello! We've like to meet you and participating is how this works best.
10:04 PM
How are you feeling this afternoon Max?
10:05 PM
@here A reminder to all, Leaves Chat is open until 6pm
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Sup everyone I'm on day 9! Just got out of bed after spending 14 hours in it!
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Hey everyone, hope you’re doing well
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👋🏻 day 72 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:06 PM
Hi @jackspider , Hi @Deleted User good to see you both
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Thanks man, hope you’re keeping well
10:06 PM
@jackspider well done mate!
10:06 PM
@M1NDFEEDER that’s amazing
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:06 PM
Hey @M1NDFEEDER !
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Noswaith dda
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I joined the other day. I haven't smoked since Sunday. We should create a channel to share crazy dreams?
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:09 PM
Hey @snowfreak221 ! This is that channel!...We just had a discussion about dreams earlier. It's amazing what people go through.
10:10 PM
You're coming up on a week, that's great.
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I dreamt about doing drugs. Knew it was a dream but I wasn't waking up it was weird
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank you
10:12 PM
The other night I had a dream about a cardboard box that was haunting me. I saw it in the street outside my house and i went out and threw it in the garbage. I looked outside again and it was back out in the road. I threw it away a 2nd time, and it appeared inside my house with me...
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that's funny
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:13 PM
@snowfreak221 That makes sense, you never know what's inside a cardboard box. 🙂
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No one seems to be wanting the microphone at the moment so how about. The best thing about sobriety for me is...? (edited)
10:16 PM
For me it's clarity
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Hello again friends
10:16 PM
The best part about quitting weed is the dreams I have every night. I love them, they are all vivid and crazy
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:16 PM
Hello @Joel!
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@M1NDFEEDER The best thing about sobriety for me is reduced anxiety.
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Oh and I guess having a completely different mindset and mental state is cool too I guess
10:17 PM
But the dreams tho 😎
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No dreams are valid
10:18 PM
Didnt have any for years over here. Weird having them again
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:18 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I think the best thing for me is that opportunities, all kinds of them, don't just drift by unnoticed.
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@Moderator -- Subduction hmm agree. My clarity allows me to not only see good opportunities but also potential pitfalls too. Instead of being blindsided by a drug
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What do you mean “the opportunities” that come
10:19 PM
Can you explain more
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Sure sure. I mean as a user I let a lot of stuff slide. Was too busy abusing to appreciate things. Now I'm clear headed I see the wood for the trees again
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Just checking in really, still sober and not gone and bought anything. The dissociation was much milder today but around 7 or 8pm it really started to ramp up, i'm going to assume that's because i smoked heaviest from that time
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To use a leaves based analogy
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i just about cried happy tears today. i could just feel a burden being lifted off my shoulders and im only day 3!
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Life itself is one opportunity after another. But if you're stuck in your head the only one you fulfil is the one that buys you weed (edited)
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That hits home with me as well. It's much easier to be complacent with your life and not notice opportunities. Who knows how many things I've missed out on because i was stoned.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:22 PM
@Joel -- I worked for myself for a long time -- I'd sit in my apartment getting high, and be given new potential business leads, and not call, either because new work would cut into my high time, or my anxiety and confidence were low. Same with girls. Was a first date worth not sitting at home and composing music? Nah.
10:22 PM
Every new potential experience had to over come this giant wall of "Nah."
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Don't look at it that way @snowfreak221 look at it as "but tomorrow I can" yesterday is done. But tomorrow... That's for the taking.
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You’re very right. Yesterday does not matter, it’s about today and tomorrow. Always moving forward
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For sure, it's best to stay present.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:24 PM
Hey @Enzo ! Glad you're swinging by!
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How much longer is the chat going to be open?
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Yesterday matters, but tomorrow and today are more important. And they can still be influenced. Ya can't change the past though. Just how you react to it
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Cuz I just got off work and I have to drive home
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:25 PM
@Enzo Would it be worth keeping a brief mood diary? It might help you identify trends a head bad times off at the pass.
10:25 PM
@Joel We'll be open another 35 minutes, and then again at 11 US Eastern Time tomorrow
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Well than this is good bye for today then. Have a good day everyone. I’m proud of you all.
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Have a good one @Joel stay safe
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:26 PM
Happy you were here @Joel , even briefly. Please come by again and update us on how you're doing!
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Thank you 🙂
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Maybe, i'm kind of struggling also with anxiety i feel like worthless as i have no job, not had 1 for 5 year now but at least for 3 of them i being doing University but i want to get an internship for summer even though im 28 i need the experience and Developer positions pay too but my Anxiety is crippling me, the thought of having to get on the bus or a bus and a train multiple times a day there and back is stopping me even making phone calls as just the thought of having to venture out and do that kind of thing puts me on the floor crippling anxiety, i hope it eases as i get less and less dependant on weed and get further a long with more days sober
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Do you use caffeine @Enzo?
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Christ at one point i probably didn't leave the house for like 6 + months easily as my Dealer used to deliver straight to my door lol
10:28 PM
I drink tea and today i was feeling Lethargic so had a monster to perk myself up, but drink a lot of Tea
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:29 PM
@Enzo No doubt it's hard to do something you haven't done a lot recently, even if it's just things other people consider routine.
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I found caffeine made me more anxious. Just a thought
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@Enzo hang in there.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:29 PM
@Enzo Have I mentioned the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns to you yet?
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Nope, and trying my best got 2 weeks 1 day today, and won't be breaking tonight as my window to even buy has passed now
10:30 PM
so tomorrow will be 2 weeks 2 days 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:31 PM
@Enzo Two weeks is epic, really. Take a look at that book. It's a very well-respected course in cognitive behavioral therapy, and there's a lot of clinical evidence it's very effective against anxiety.
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^
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:32 PM
It seems weird -- you read it and it feels like "so if I just do that my anxiety magically gets less?" But it really does work if you commit to it
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I will definitely take a look
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CBT is a game-changer. I've also studied Buddhism from a secular point of view, very helpful for living a good life.
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:33 PM
👉 Halftime reminder, if you have been listening in, please take the plunge and say hello!
10:33 PM
@snowfreak221 I'm a secular meditator, and it's been a big help.
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that's awesome!
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I think im going to head off upstairs as laying in bed with the ipad and hopefully get a better nights rest tonight and not wake up as Lethargic tomorrow 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:35 PM
Alright @Enzo , take each day as it comes. 🙂
10:37 PM
If we have a pause in things, favor to ask: If anyone is outside the US Eastern Time Zone, would you have a look at this calendar and tell me if the meeting times are correct for you? https://bit.ly/3cPA7wN
Teamup is a free sharable online calendar for groups and projects.
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i'm in mountain time
10:38 PM
it's showing 9 am and 3 pm for me.
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Looks right for me yah
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:39 PM
Cool, good to hear. Trying to get a calendar and mod scheduling running, so we can expand a little.
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World domination always has to be the master plan right
10:40 PM
Got to take the small nations first though
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:41 PM
lol, it's funny because this reminds me a lot of when r/leaves started. I advertised r/leaves on trees and sat there. I was shocked when we got our first post. 🙂
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I'll take the mic. I'd like to bust the myth that stopping smoking weed means creativity also goes with it. I don't think it does. Quite the opposite
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:43 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I completely agree. I was a music major in college, and a creative director and then Chief Creative Officer for digital agencies. My career and hobbiest have all centered around creativity.
10:44 PM
Weed makes you feel creative, but it's not correlated with useable work. It's a creativity simulator.
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The only creation I made was kitchen carnage
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:44 PM
lol
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Don't miss the weird food combos I'd make (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:46 PM
Ha! When I was getting high I lived in New York City, so I always got delivery. Probably 8,000 calories a day looking back.
10:46 PM
And I wasn't exactly hitting the gym.
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Couldn't face the delivery guys 🤷🏼‍♀️
10:47 PM
Too paranoid
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:47 PM
I'd get it all delivered before I got high. I was like a cannabis prepper.
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Don't say the g word 😭😭😭
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:47 PM
lol
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I'd have had to order mine in my sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️ don't know what I miss more the gym or McDonald's (edited)
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Good question
10:48 PM
Double sausage egg McMuffin I can’t replicate for the life of me
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Nuggets 😭😭
10:49 PM
How ironic though. I give up the weed and can't have Maccies and NOW I'm getting fat
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:49 PM
Yeah, McD breakfast really does it. I love the Southwest salad and decided I was being all healthy and noble, but you look at the stats they're even trying to murder you with the salad.
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Lockdown lovehandles
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Ugh, McMuffins 😋 😫
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:51 PM
I'm super-lucky, my wife is an awesome cook which makes quarantine a whole lot easier. If it were just me they'd be having to lift me out of my apartment with a crane at this point.
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What's up everyone! Sorry for being late to the chat, I've been outside and got lost in the time lol
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I'm just glad I'm sober for it. I'd be so fucking freaked out if I was getting high still
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:52 PM
Hey @IssaBLR !
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Still sober with 18 days after 10 years. I'm prolly go ahead and head back out. I appreciate you all and keep going strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:55 PM
Appreciate you nipping in, glad things are going well!
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:55 PM
I couldn't imagine if I weren't sober for lockdown
10:56 PM
I thik I'd be out of control.
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I'd probably still have the news on 24/7 getting more and more depressed by the hour
10:57 PM
Sellotaping the windows from the inside with a tinfoil hat on
10:58 PM
Possibly drinking disinfectant 🤯
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:58 PM
I'm sure that no matter how badly things were going for me, not feeling well, struggling to find plugs, running out of money, I'd still be convincing myself that it was the best thing that ever happened to me! Stay home and smoke?! I'm in!
10:58 PM
lol
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Ironic we're already used to this social distancing crap and now we've got our old lifestyle back it's a big NOPE from me
10:59 PM
Life is funny
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 10:59 PM
Right? 🙂
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And on that note 😆
10:59 PM
Adios amigos
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Moderator -- Subduction 24/04/2020 11:00 PM
Okay @M1NDFEEDER and everybody, time to wrap things up. We'll be back on the air tomorrow at 11 Eastern Time. So great to see you all!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:00 PM
@here Hello! Leaves Chat is open!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:00 PM
Hello everyone, welcome to Leaves Lounge! This is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so just jump in!
4:01 PM
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit.
4:01 PM
We'll get started as usual with introductions. Check in and let us know how you're doing with your quit.
4:01 PM
Hey @Phaxxy !
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Hello! good Morning! Day 6 of sobreity after 10 years of habitual smoking!
4:01 PM
hey @Phaxxy !!!
4:01 PM
almost to a week!!!
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hey @~*ALiCiA*~ ! nice job dude
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Day 72? Feeling good 😎
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:01 PM
Awesome @~*ALiCiA*~ Going great!
4:02 PM
Hi @M1NDFEEDER ! Under our circumstances, good=great. 🙂
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I'm able to sleep finally! and no crazy dreams!
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hit day 203. feeling pretty gucci gang
👍 2
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but still feeling various other withdrawal
4:03 PM
hell yeah @Phaxxy !!
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Oh hell yeah @Moderator -- Subduction just spent part of the afternoon in a graveyard enjoying the sun (not as morbid as it's sounds, just peaceful there is all)
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:04 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Done that myself.
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@M1NDFEEDER lol I've done that before
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Apparently I've found my people 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:04 PM
The residents are less concerned with social distancing too
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yeah New Orleans does not to social distancing well as you can imagine hahaha
4:05 PM
oh I get your joke @Moderator -- Subduction lmao
4:05 PM
totally went over my head
😆 1
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I'm trying to figure out how to thumbs it up and failing 😆
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haha nah that works
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But yeah the parks are packed so graveyards it is. Reliving my inner emo youth 🤷🏼‍♀️😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:06 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I'm an a desktop, but hover over the comment and you'll see reaction options. Not sure on mobile.
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Hi sorry to interrupt, I just found the subreddit. I quit 11 days ago and my dreams are going crazy, I'm waking up 4 times a night covered in sweat. Is this normal?
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@KingKonas been there man
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omg you're not interrupting!! hi @KingKonas !!!
4:07 PM
yes very normal @KingKonas congrats on making it to 11 days!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:07 PM
Hi @KingKonas Happy your here. 11 days is great!
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I can only quote apparently. Blonde moment possible though
4:07 PM
Interrupt me by all means I just talk shite 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:07 PM
@KingKonas We were just talking about dreams yesterday. It comes up super-often with people who are quitting.
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@KingKonas a lot of relapse dreams too. i feel you heavily on the sweating
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:08 PM
@KingKonas Crazy sweating very common too.
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Oh okay - is there any were i should go read before asking? btw thanks for answering ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:09 PM
@KingKonas Nope. You can read through the sub, but it's much better if you ask. When you ask you ask for everyone. It's exactly how this place works best
4:10 PM
@KingKonas Why did you decide to quit?
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Morning everyone! I'm on day 19 after 10 years of smoking.
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I'm having technical issues
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yeah same
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same here
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okay maybe it's working again
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Aight, that makes sense @Moderator -- Subduction I live in an illegal country and smoking weed is quite unpopular (mostly due to misinformation). I feel like I'm having trouble with finding girls who are okay with me smoking, that's the primary reason. Second I'm afraid i wont be as good in school, if I smoke the day before classes. Also the risk of jeopadizing my future career by not having a clean criminal record scares the shit out of me. I just feel super bored of everything have been loving doing the last couple of years while smoking. And my hungryness is super fucked up
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:24 PM
Can anyone see this? It looks like the channel isn't loading...
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we back?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:24 PM
I think we're back?!
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Did i just break this discord server
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@IssaBLR good to see you family
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106 attempts later... woop woop well done @IssaBLR 😁
4:25 PM
107 attempts later... woop woop well done @IssaBLR 😁
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It was probably me @KingKonas 😂
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:26 PM
@KingKonas lol, yes, Discord mentioned you specifically on their status page. 🙂
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Can anyone see this? It looks like the channel isn't loading...
@Moderator -- Subduction yeah
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:26 PM
Welcome back everybody!
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Still sober here too, but i have noticed the mornings my dissociation is definitely a lot milder than the evening, it's nearly 5pm and i can slowly feel the build up of the feeling returning, it has to be because i smoked my heaviest as soon as it got darker outside and until i passed out
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:27 PM
@KingKonas Those are all good reasons. The food part was big for me too. I must have been eating 6 - 8 thousand calories a day when I was smoking. It was a real problem.
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hellloooo @Enzo!
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Thanks guys!! I'm happy to see you guys again! And happy to meet you @KingKonas!
4:28 PM
What's up @Enzo !
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:28 PM
@KingKonas I also had a great woman leave me because she just wasn't into dating an addict.
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Hi just wanted to pop in and say it's day 4 for me. Yesterday was a little tough; getting to Friday and not 'rewarding' myself with a smoke was uncomfortable, but I ordered Indian food and watched a movie.
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:29 PM
Hey @Enzo !
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@Enzo nice dude.
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hey @ssciolist good to see you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:29 PM
That's the way @ssciolist
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@KingKonas super happy you joined us! this group has definitely helped me pull through it and stay accountable
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Well done to everyone making it through another night. Especially with the weekend looming 🖤 (edited)
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@ssciolist dude i know what you mean. i've been practicing my cue-routine-reward cycle and that's been super helpful
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:31 PM
@here this is the now-traditional midway message to encourage you to say hi if you're a lurker. Chat can move like a river, but just jump in!
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@ssciolist I'm glad you made it man and that's what's up, it's like your pushing the other dopamine buttons !
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@Phaxxy what does that look like for you?
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Hey guys
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@♛KAXA♛ hey there! how are you today!?
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I'm 8 days in
4:32 PM
Since I stopped
4:32 PM
And I haven't felt so good
4:32 PM
In days
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Thank you guys, i feel very welcome and definitely not alone anymore - i'll probably just be hanging around most of the time @ssciolist Watching movies helped me the first couple of days, it's nice being able to remember what the movie was about
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congrats on the 8 days @♛KAXA♛ how have you been feeling?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:33 PM
HI @♛KAXA♛ ! Glad you're here.
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I'm 18 and I have been smoking since I was 13
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Hey @♛KAXA♛ I'm happy you made it! What are the symptoms looking like for you?
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Feels like my brain is balancing itself out again
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wow, it's so crazy to me how young so many people are when they started smoking...
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@~*ALiCiA*~ so basically the way habits work is you have a cue, then a routine that follows, and then you get your reward. so when @ssciolist was talking about friday being a cue, smoking is the routine and the high is the reward. instead, to change that he watched a movie instead and still was rewarded with that good feeling. For me personally I've just been doing yoga and meditation like nobody's business to develop that good habit. that and reading books, sunlight exposure, all that good stuff
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I mean I did too
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Just very vivid dreams at this point I was shooting people Idk why lol
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@KingKonas I've found former stoners to be a very welcoming and nice bunch of folks
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I'm not like a sadistic person
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ahhhhh!! yes! @Phaxxy
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i feel like momentum is everything for me haha @~*ALiCiA*~
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@♛KAXA♛ hahah wow!
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@♛KAXA♛ that's part of it, it's like your brain is finding ways to make you go wtf? I constantly been having dreams where I get murdered. 😅
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But actually I find to enjoy some of the vivid intense dreams sometimes, am I the only one?
4:35 PM
Yeah crazy man
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@Phaxxy I totally feel that, like once you build all the momentum, at some point it just turns into habit and it's sustainable
4:35 PM
@♛KAXA♛ yeah some of mine were super insightful. one thing that's helped me is writing about them first thing in the morning
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That's okay - this night i was slicing strangers with katanas @♛KAXA♛
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LMAO
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@KingKonas studies the blade
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lolololol
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Apparently @Phaxxy the uv light exposure helps keep the corona away so good move! 😂
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I didn't have any insights I was just enjoying them from a craziness standpoint
4:36 PM
Like a thrill ride
4:36 PM
I hope I will get some insights soon
4:37 PM
Been writing them down for 5 days now
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@IssaBLR cant go wrong with some vitamin d. or whatever it is the sun gives you
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omg I'm so tan now, just been laying out for hours the past several weeks. It really makes all the difference on my mood having the sun. Just grrateful to be somewhere where its warm out
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Yes sir that's the right vitamin I believe, I like the feeling it gets when its warming up your body
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@~*ALiCiA*~ if you ever read the depression cure it's a good book that really goes in depth about sun exposure. it works wonders
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Or a SAD lamp if you live in dreary England (edited)
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Open question guys, do you think that you will be able to go back after a long time of quitting and have control over weed? Or do you think that it permanently has taken you into control when it's in your system? I believe that I should never go back
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@♛KAXA♛ i try not to future trip about it. as long as my life continues to get better im going to continue doing what im doing. the drugs are always going to be there
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Don't think I could moderate. That's why I'm here now
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YOU MEANS ITS NOT SUNNY TODAY?? @M1NDFEEDER
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@♛KAXA♛ I really try to not make decisions for my future self. its of no concern of mine to get wrapped up in that when the day to day can be a struggle to not quit.
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:40 PM
Really like "future trip" @Phaxxy
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Yep good analogy guys
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IT'S ACTUALLY STILL SUNNY IT'S STILL FREAKING ME OUT 😆 @IssaBLR
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❤️
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it's hard not to think about the future!! but it really is just making more problems for myself that don't exist yet haha
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@♛KAXA♛ i dont have any plans on it all. I know where my life was when I was stuck in the cycle and I dont want to go back to it.
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Hey is there anyone that read the rule section before they joined this chat?
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No rules just talking 🤷🏼‍♀️😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:42 PM
@KingKonas That's why everybody talks about "one day at a time." You just quit for today. Then tomorrow, you just quit for tomorrow. After 21 years quit I know I could never have gone back an managed it properly myself and I wouldn't want to. I was in it to be immoderate.
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what do you mean @elmomba also hi!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:42 PM
READ THE RULES 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction thats a great way to say it. its like i cant promise you ill be sober tomorrow but i can control right now
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Guys I love that there is a group to support me through this because all my friends keep smoking
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:43 PM
Hi @elmomba !
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See ya later guys I'm gonna eat
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I did read them lol but people are writing about the sun and vitamin d
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@Moderator -- Subduction That's a really good point. Never thought about it like that
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@♛KAXA♛ hope to see you back!
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@♛KAXA♛ later homie
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Later
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Cya @♛KAXA♛
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:43 PM
Okay @♛KAXA♛ good to see you!
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Have a good one @♛KAXA♛ !
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And it just seems weird to not be allowed to talk about other supplements that might help people in their recovery
4:44 PM
Oh and hi total
4:44 PM
Because for me just taking a multi vitamin pill in the beginning of my detox helped me so much with energy levels and just overall balance
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I mean, I think it more or less refers to not prescribing something to others but we are just talking about our own personal experience...
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and the sun is vitamin D
4:45 PM
to us humans
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Yeah and oranges have vitamin c
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right 🙂
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Which is very good for you
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I'm just looking foward to growing it legally and then giving it to friends and family
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right but we just try to avoid advice giving and more or less talk about our own personal experiences.
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Aaahaaaaa
4:45 PM
Okay like that
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but @Moderator -- Subduction would be able to articulate that better than I proabbly
4:46 PM
yep!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:46 PM
@elmomba I understand , but that rule was established for a reason. With 130,00 members we have people with enthusiasms for hundreds of compounds designed to fix you. The group was starting to sound more like a dark web forum than a support group, so we got out of the whole category. Anyway, happy to talk with you more offline -- you can message me at u/Subduction. Let's keep things focused on support here. 🙂
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He's probably checking his rule book now for a perfect response 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:47 PM
@M1NDFEEDER The Tao of Leaves 🙂
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But back to my weed leaving I found I felt depressed so I got a sad light to help me. Won't work for everyone obviously
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hahaha ❤️ thanks @Moderator -- Subduction for keeping us on track!!
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Ahahaha @Moderator -- Subduction
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Holy shit that's a lot of people man
4:48 PM
I really want to stay but I'm at work rn
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:48 PM
@elmomba Yup, that's just subscribers. We'll probably hit 200,000 unique visitors this month.
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@Moderator -- Subduction "dark web forum" that's hilarious and saddening I could see all the people trying to sell different supplements claiming that they'll help replace smoking weed.
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You guys will be hearing from me
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Hey everyone, I know i'm a little late lol
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we hope to @elmomba !!!
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@elmomba take it easy dude
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see you back soon dude!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:49 PM
Okay @elmomba Come back and say hello when you have more time!
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hey @anonymous !!!
4:49 PM
welcome back 🙂
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You too bros
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how are you feeling today @anonymous
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Day 3 on here!
4:49 PM
I honestly am feeling a little down today
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Have a good one @elmomba! What's up @anonymous I'm happy to see you again!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:50 PM
@IssaBLR It makes sense though, right? We're a group of people accustomed to ordering our body to feel a certain way immediately with a substance, so that orientation can be a tough one to break
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Good to see you all too!
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alright im going to go eat and clean the house. i love you all
4:50 PM
❤️
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I'm not necessarily sad in relation to my addiction just the state of the world and my career
4:50 PM
@Phaxxy see ya man
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:50 PM
Hey @anonymous Glad you came. Sorry it's a down day.
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What have you been up to? @anonymous any luck on the unemployment?
4:51 PM
take it easy @Phaxxy !!
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byyyye @Phaxxy !!!
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Cya @Phaxxy
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'm glad to be here!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:52 PM
@anonymous One odd, but still slightly positive spin on how you feel is that sounds like a natural, reasonable emotion. It means you're getting separate from the drug that controlled your mood.
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@IssaBLR Since yesterday I worked out some and looked at some jobs I could apply to or maybe some grad school programs for the future. The unemployment is still unknown, I guess I'll try again on Monday when they open back up. I'm glad I have a lot saved tbh.
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:53 PM
@anonymous Not that you're like "yay!" but even bad things can be good signs.
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I'm not necessarily sad in relation to my addiction just the state of the world and my career
@anonymous this so much
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@Moderator -- Subduction very true, before I quit I was somewhat content with my very soul crushing job. And weed also was one of the factors holding me back cause I would always be afraid of a drug test if I ever applied anywhere
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@anonymous that's some good plans for the time being! Being clean can prolly help out with those future goals!
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@M1NDFEEDER Good to know someone else is going through the same situation ❤️
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Aight, imma go water my plants - if this chat still open in couple of hours, then i'll be back Thanks for advice, and thanks for having me ❤️
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I lost my shitty little job due to covid so I'm using this time to retrain into something else, could you do similar?
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@IssaBLR I think so I just have to look at the positives and how much potential I have to change my future
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:56 PM
@KingKonas We'll reopen today at 5pm US Eastern time for another hour. That UTC-5 time zone, if I'm getting that right.
4:56 PM
@KingKonas It would be great to see you back. 🙂
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gosh thats so much @anonymous that's a lot to go through at once on top of just the general start of affairs.
4:57 PM
right like this could be a new start for you once this is all over maybe? @anonymous still doesn't deny the fact that it's a lot to sift through and unpack in the mean time.
4:57 PM
yes come back @KingKonas!!!
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Well I actually was in the process of switching to something else before the virus broke out. Had applied to this business analyst job and did the second interview. The third one was suppose to happen the week my state locked down so now i'm kind of in limbo. I have been kind of studying up on stuff like that during the quarantine, the only problem now is my current job might be opening back up very soon @M1NDFEEDER
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 4:58 PM
Hey folks -- we lost some time with an outage, so I'll leave things open for another 15 minutes.
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thanks @Moderator -- Subduction !!
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Well I actually was in the process of switching to something else before the virus broke out. Had applied to this business analyst job and did the second interview. The third one was suppose to happen the week my state locked down so now i'm kind of in limbo. I have been kind of studying up on stuff like that during the quarantine, the only problem now is my current job might be opening back up very soon @M1NDFEEDER
@anonymous we really are in similar boats. Just keep your chin up, we'll both get there 🖤
(edited)
4:59 PM
I probably won't be back later so peace and love to all 🦾🖤
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Yeah there's a lot going through my mind. For the past two years i've felt really depressed about my career and the situation in the world hasn't helped out at all lol.
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And you have so much potential @anonymous ! It sucks that this is all during a national emergency. You got options though!
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sending you all the virtual hugs!
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@M1NDFEEDER Take care and I know we'll both figure something out
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@M1NDFEEDER peace out and great seeing you!
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bye @M1NDFEEDER !!!! ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 5:00 PM
Later @M1NDFEEDER Good to see you!
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@IssaBLR That's true i'm still pretty young and in a decent position I would say
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I'm going to have to head out too, talk to you guys later!
5:01 PM
@anonymous for sure man you got the world in your hands!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 5:01 PM
@anonymous Sometimes small prepping actions can help you with bigger "state of things" worries. Cleaning your apartment, getting things in order, that kind of thing. Start small.
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Have a good one, good to see you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 5:02 PM
cya @IssaBLR !
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@Moderator -- Subduction yes so true! do what you can now to prepare yourself to make those big life decisions when they come your way
5:02 PM
bye @IssaBLR !!!
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You all are right, I have kind of neglected a lot of small self maintenance in the past 6-7 weeks
5:03 PM
Also I feel like I kind of hijacked the chat
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 5:03 PM
There's a saying in the recovery community that "you get sober with your feet." And while it initially referred to going to meetings, it works much more broadly. It's hard to think your way out of a feeling. You do things, even unrelated things, and they have a surprising effect.
5:04 PM
@anonymous lol No hijacking here
5:05 PM
Okay, things have quieted down it looks like, so I'll close up so my wife isn't more of an r/leaves widow than she already is.
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hahaa thanks @Moderator -- Subduction
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I'll talk to you all later then. Thanks for everything you all are so kind.
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and happy that you're here talking with us @anonymous
5:06 PM
❤️
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I'm happy to be here too! Take care everyone!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 5:06 PM
Thanks for coming by everybody, and we'll be back on the air in 5 hours from now, whatever time that is in your jurisdiction. Thanks all!
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Closing...
5:07 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:07 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open!
10:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! This is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so just jump in.
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Hello!!
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good to be back in the lounge
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what's good everyone
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hey @yames !
10:00 PM
hey friends!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hey everybody! Great to see you!
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ill have a pina colada and a mai tai yeah
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:01 PM
If you're a lurker -- everyone you just saw introduce themselves were lurkers at the beginning of the week. Please jump in and say hello -- there's no wrong time and we'd like to meet you!
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Well in that case
10:02 PM
hiya
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Hey @sneef !! welcome! how are you?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:02 PM
Hey @sneef ! Welcome!
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I'm okay 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:02 PM
@sneef Where are you in your quit?
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Heyo @sneef
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Hello @Violet Hour !!
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oh hello biolet. fancy seeing you here
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:03 PM
Hi @Violet Hour !
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Hey everyone!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:03 PM
Hi @anonymous !
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Day 6 going strong for me - excited to make it a week tomorrow!
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@Moderator -- Subduction Very early on. Hoping that this group helps keep me motivated
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@sneef this group has been huge for me in sticking to it!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:05 PM
We have a few early people who check in here.
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yes, totally agreed - I sincerely think I could not be where I'm at without this support group. Week 3 cravings have been hitting harder for me. I feel like I was so proud + amazed at myself for not smoking early on and now the normalcy of it is really setting in, and it's been more challenging.
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what have you guys replaced weed with in your life?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:06 PM
@yames Yeah, it's like your brain finally wakes up to the fact that you aren't kidding around and starts to fight back.
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@Moderator -- Subduction Well put - that's exactly what it's like.
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@sneef I've started reading again, working out, and connecting with people I kind of neglected
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@sneef exercise and trying to be a chef god
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@yames the normalcy!! making me feel like things are more mundane sometimes... totally relate
10:07 PM
but I'm trying to focus on the clarity that I feel I think
10:07 PM
which I haven't felt in awhile?? or like ever?? idk
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@yames that's how it went for me, once I started dreaming again my body really wanted to smoke
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@sneef reading, walking, meditation, yoga, baking!!!
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hi people, new to the server so just gonna watch and learn for now
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@Chickens !! hello!! glad you're here!
10:09 PM
howre you feeling today?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:09 PM
Hi @Chickens, happy you're here! (edited)
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yeah trying to remind myself that if my ultimate goal is to quit, I don't want to go through the early stages of withdrawal over and over. if I give up now, there will be another week 3 down the line
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@Chickens Nice to meet you, how're you doing?
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quitting weed smoking for the third time, regular smoking for the first, i'm over the stomach pains, just dealing with the acid reflux for now
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congrats! how far along are you @Chickens ? this is my first week
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for weed? well into my second month, for cigarettes almost thru with the first month
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@Chickens congrats - that's some real progress
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my advice? stock up on stomach and acid meds
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damn! excellent work!!
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this is the WORST heartburn of my life
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For real haha
10:11 PM
I didn't realize it at the time but it definitely was doing that to me
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Yeah I was popping tums for awhile there. The belching was so bad. I was thankful to be sequestered to my home lol
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I would be dying at work from it
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well fortunetly i was able to prepare for the current situation, but i'm not a religious man in any way, but i've been praying to jesus daily for relief, gonna start using a prescription medication for relief
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damn I guess what that feeling is! like I keep getting nauseous and it's like in the back of my throat?
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well i am in no way a doctor, but if its a burning in your chest and you have difficulty drinking water, that's heartburn
10:14 PM
you won't have any difficulty breathing though, your throat might get swollen too, if it gets bad like mine, CALMLY call your doctor, this telephone medicine shit is for the birds and those nurses who answer the phones are stressed to the max
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chickens is your throat fucked as well from the smoking
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how long have you been a stoner or smoked weed?
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i got a chronic cough and people think ive got corona lol
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smoked weed for 16 years, cigs for 17, i'm currently getting up to 35
10:16 PM
i'm also using the nicoderm CQ patch
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lol my housemates giving me weird looks like ITS ALLERGIES
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What's up everyone and congrats @Chickens !
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do u have it as well @~*ALiCiA*~
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:16 PM
Hey @IssaBLR !
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it's not so bad anymore
10:17 PM
honestly a lot of my symptoms are subsiding finally except the nausea
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I've smoked for 10 years and I'm on day 19! And hey @Moderator -- Subduction ! How you doing today? Another good day being the mod of the decade?
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my coughing was pretty much done with in 2 and a half weeks, that step one patch though is a Motherhucker
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@~*ALiCiA*~ took about a week and a half for the nausea to subside for me. Hope you're out of the woods with it soon.
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:18 PM
@IssaBLR lol -- it's my wife who is the true hero. She's a Leaves widow. We've only been married for a little over two years and she's very patient with the time it takes. 🙂
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if you are coughing, i recommend you put some paper towels in a trash can, and look at what you cough up, you will see that tar, and it will gross you the fuck out, but its high motivation
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good to know... thanks @yames !!!
10:19 PM
we love to see credit where credit is due!!! @Moderator -- Subduction
10:19 PM
❤️
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@Chickens lol nastiest tech of the century. Smart though
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coughing up the tar was when I knew I never wanted to smoke like that again
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lol ew
10:19 PM
but I believe you haha
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well with the phlegm you know its not covid, and when you see the tar you'll be like wtf that's inside me? get it the fuck out
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:20 PM
@Chickens We have had pictures of that posted to leaves in the past. For science.
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@Moderator -- Subduction that's awesome of your wife and tell her she has my appreciation as well!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:20 PM
I will!
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hahah noooo omg @Moderator -- Subduction
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@Moderator -- Subduction i'm pretty sure from what i've read that i'll still be coughing up tar later on though, one does not simply walk out of mordor
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it's not even tar, haven't smoked anything for over a month so idk what is up with it
10:21 PM
maybe it's the cillia regrowing yeah?
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from what i've read, its the cillia regrowing and forcing out the tar
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oh wow!!
10:21 PM
thats wild
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:21 PM
Yeah, I'm not sure what it is. I prefer to think of it as diamonds and rainbows.
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haha
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Evening guys! Hope you’re doing well
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my upset stomach took around 2 and a half weeks too
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:22 PM
Hey @Deleted User !
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@Deleted User Hey, how's it going?
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Hey guys nice to see you
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What's up @Deleted User !!
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Not too bad man, watching breaking bad, you?
10:22 PM
Hey Bond mate
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Amazing show right there. I need to catch up on better call saul
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if you guys have cut the cord like i have, check out pluto.tv
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hey @Deleted User !!!!
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they've got every episode of the original robotech
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Hey careergirl!
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plus a bunch of other stuff
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I'm just chilling drinking some coffee
10:23 PM
I really need to watch better call saul
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I need to give better call Saul another go
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breaking bad is my favorite show ever
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I watched the first series and really struggled to get into it
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:24 PM
Better Call Saul and Westworld are piling up for me too.
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me and one of my old roommates watched the first season of it back in the day and I never went back
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I wanna start watching The Wire from Ep 1!!
👍 1
10:24 PM
I'm a smart girl and all but Westworld made me feel dense as hell hahahah
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Ah westworld that's another one I need to catch up on. The first season was amazing I remember. (Some at least) lol
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I could not keep up but the whole show is INCREDIBLE
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Is it on Netflix? (The wire)
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I just ended up watching for the entertainment of it and try and not obsess about the story and timelines
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I've always heard the wire is one of the best shows ever made
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hulu and prime I think?
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gonna go skate - good to check in with y’all. keep at it and have lovely evenings
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Westworld is another one i've wanted to watch as well
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yeah same @anonymous
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:25 PM
@~*ALiCiA*~ It's starting to crawl up its own back door lately, but I'm hoping it's for a good mindblowing reason.
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bye @yames !!! see ya soon
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I've recently fell in love with the Midnight Gospel on Netflix. I've watched it twice now.
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:26 PM
Good to see you @yames !
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oh I"m sure
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@yames take care!
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Good seeing you @yames !!
10:27 PM
I'll have to check out the wire sometime I also heard it was an amazing show with a decent ending. Game of thrones left me indecisive in getting fully invested in a long series anymore lol (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:28 PM
Does anyone have any strong smoking associations that interfere with hobbies? Some people get stuck because they associate TV or movies with weed.
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yeah I do honestly
10:28 PM
I haven't been able to watch much
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Playing video games seems to be an issue with me lately. I can't sit down and play them a lot without feeling bad.
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it just makes me feel itchy to watch something right now
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:30 PM
For me it's composing music. I was a music major in school, but I honestly haven't been able to go back to it since I quit. The associations aren't strong now, but I'm not sure I have the patience.
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wow
10:30 PM
thats rough! @Moderator -- Subduction
10:31 PM
I mean I imagine that you identified with composing music too
10:31 PM
perhaps?
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That is tough @Moderator -- Subduction how is listening to music for you?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:31 PM
My horns and keyboard and stuff are here in my office with me. We've been staring each other down, so maybe soon. 🙂
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Is it free on prime by any chance?
10:31 PM
That wire programme
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:31 PM
Listening's okay.
10:32 PM
@Deleted User Don't know -- Netflix, maybe?
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I’ll have a look now buddy
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:33 PM
Look slike free on prime...
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I have written a song since my teens. Maybe sobriety will be inspirational 🤷🏼‍♀️ evening all
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:34 PM
@here -- This is my usual halfway message to encourage lurkers to join in, it would be great to meet you, so don't wait for a lull, just jump in and say hi!
10:34 PM
What do you play @M1NDFEEDER ?
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@M1NDFEEDER what's up!!
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id talk but im gaming rn and if i talk in chat ill die
10:35 PM
you should set up a voice chat
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:35 PM
@Joel lol
10:36 PM
Maybe!
10:37 PM
Next is a structured meeting, I think. One speeker at a time. A litle more slowly paced
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exciting!
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17 days weed free and counting@
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What's up guys? Gonna pop in real quick before sleeping.
10:39 PM
@Joel Nice job, that's a good start!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:39 PM
That's awesome @Joel
10:39 PM
Hey @Findict !
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Super excited to see the evolution of the group. Doing great there @Joel and nice to meet you @Findict ! Well I'm signing off for now, talk to you guys later!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:39 PM
Okay @IssaBLR see you soon!
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Guitar mainly, bit of piano but the guitar got a bit neglected over the years as happens when adulthood and drug habits happen 😆 (edited)
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im playing old school runescape rn
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Goodnight Bondo!
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@IssaBLR see ya dude take care
10:40 PM
@Joel I love oldschool runescape haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:40 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I managed to have a drug habit without owning a guitar, which I think is pretty impressive.
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Hi and bye @IssaBLR 😆
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i cannot play music to save my life
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I have a guitar next to me but dare not touch it.
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Oh the guitar hobby predates the habit and I could not remember how to play anything when using. Sad times 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:42 PM
@Joel Guitar Center has guitars on sale all the time for $79. As many people at parties prove every weekend, you do not have to be able to play music to enjoy playing guitar. 🙂
10:43 PM
but i have 0 interest in playing guitar
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:43 PM
@Joel Probably for the best... 🙂
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I would play more if I had the time and space
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@Findict I'd advise changing the strings before you do touch it, mine reeks of weed
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Which is soon probably gonna happen actually
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My hobbie besides video games is pottery, i have a small studio in my room
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@M1NDFEEDER Thankfully, I don't have a history with weed myself. Some former friends do.
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Hiya 👏🏻 I’m new so just saying hi!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:45 PM
@Joel That's cool! My sister did pottery for awhile. Much harder than the experts make it look.
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👋🏻 @holly
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm noticing a huge difference in the whites of my eyes already!!
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Welcome @holly
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hey @holly !!! welcome in!
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:46 PM
Hi @holly ! Happy you're here!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ that's awesome! Wish I'd took notice of mine. However my sister DID notice I didn't have eyebags anymore 😳😆 (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:46 PM
@holly How are you feeling today?
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welcome holly
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Thanks guys! I run out tomorrow and my plan is to not buy more and go from there.. bricking it a bit to be honest! But glad to be here 🙂 (I’m not high rn so hope it’s okay to be talking a day before my quit date!)
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I never really noticed anything with my eyes besides them being red when I was high. What did you see in your alls?
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only if i smoked THE DANK
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@holly Hey welcome to the chat! It's good you're making the first step and making a conscious decision to quit.
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Mine always looked like I was half asleep but that's cos I was always high so... @anonymous (edited)
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@holly quitting habits is hard, don't beat yourself up. Give it time and effort, and you'll make it.
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:48 PM
@holly It's easy to put it off when you have a stash.
10:49 PM
I sounds like you're heading in the right direction tho
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Yeah I’ve downloaded the app this morning and just kind of having a look around in advance. @Moderator -- Subduction yeah that’s always how I’ve failed before, I impulse quit when I still have some rather than like running out and making the decision for myself if that makes sense haha
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@M1NDFEEDER Maybe mine did too and I just never noticed
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I impulse quit in a way. I actually still have my weed @holly
10:50 PM
Prepares to get shot down, running for cover 😱
10:51 PM
Sometimes you just want to quit more than smoke yanno?
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:51 PM
@M1NDFEEDER ... ...
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i would remove all the weed in your life
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@mindfeeder damn good for you, I think I need the lack of choice right now.. yeah I’ve managed a few days before and it was hell and I caved so not looking forward to it! But gotta be done 🤷🏼‍♀️
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throw it away or give it away
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Yeah I think it's best to remove it all if you want to quit for good
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@M1NDFEEDER Quick, open a window and sacrifice it to the wind! 🌬
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That's easier said than done though
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No. Doing that makes me want it more 🤷🏼‍♀️ troll logic but I'm me so I know what works
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Yeah to each their own for sure
10:52 PM
Thanks for being so welcoming!
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I'm a "wants what she can't have" kinda gal
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:52 PM
The problem with keeping your stash is timing. The second a craving becomes overwhelming you can relapse. If you have to rebuy it gives you time to implement the anti-craving plans you should already have in place.
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Thank god I'm wearing a bullet proof vest 😆
10:53 PM
Yeah look not recommending it to anyone that's for sure but (edited)
10:53 PM
Last time I got rid I bought again soon after.
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@Moderator -- Subduction yeah and I’m an impulse kind of person, I need to not have any lying around
10:53 PM
I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it but I’m gonna try
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:54 PM
Whatever keeps you from smoking @M1NDFEEDER , but at least you seem to appreciate that you are inflicting an even narrower tightrope on yourself.
10:54 PM
@holly Just one day at a time.
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Oh I know 😆 @Moderator -- Subduction
🙂 1
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Quick check in before shuts, still sober. Definitely feel a lot worse now it's nearly 11pm than i did at 11am
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Dave's not well haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:56 PM
Dave is trouble. I don't think he likes me. But that's for us to work out. Never name a bot after yourself.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@Enzo First days are the worst according to most. So stay strong, it will get better over time.
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I'm so glad I withheld my Dave joke
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:57 PM
Glad to see you @Enzo
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Thanks again for being so welcoming all! Nice to know there’s a good support here when I’m started. And well done to everyone staying sober!
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16 day's in still feel like day 1 at night time, hopefully tomorrow is a better day
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:57 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol Dave is always here...
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@Enzo What is on the planning for tomorrow?
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No idea, hope to stay sober 😄
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I would recommend a nice walk, but I'm not sure if you can 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 25/04/2020 10:59 PM
So happy to have seen everybody today, and especially happy to see the new folks -- you're really adding to the place. We'll be back on at 11am tomorrow US Eastern Time, which is UTC-4 for anyone not at my house.
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No idea, hope to stay sober 😄
@Enzo ain't that the dream we all have 😊
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Take care all 🙂
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Love and typos til next time 🖤
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Take care, I'll see if I can be there in the 5 PM (for me) session tomorrow as well.
11:00 PM
This is nice 🙂
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
4:00 PM
Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open!
4:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! This is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so just jump in!
4:00 PM
We'll get started as usual with introductions. Check in and let us know how you're doing with your quit. I can start:
4:01 PM
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit.
4:01 PM
How are you guys this morning?
4:02 PM
Quiet day today? It's a Sunday, not too surprising.
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Good Morning! 7 DAYS!!! ONE WEEK!
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:02 PM
How do quit? Ha
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right, I've been laaazy all morning @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:02 PM
Good morning! That's awesome @~*ALiCiA*~ ! Congratulations!
4:03 PM
Hey @Reality Winner !
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@Reality Winner hello!! How are you this morning!?
4:03 PM
Glad youre here!!
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:03 PM
Hello I'm a 20 year old female with anorexia, trying to quit but the past 2 years have been a haze between not eating well, insomnia, and all sorts of health issues.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:04 PM
@Reality Winner There's an old joke in AA that goes "It's easy to quit, just don't drink." And then everybody laughs...
4:04 PM
@Reality Winner Well I'm glad you came. Have you managed to stop yet?
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@Reality Winner how long have you been smoking weed for?
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:07 PM
I smoked for the first time with an ex boyfriend around the time I turned 18, I smoked socially with friends sometimes but I wasn't a frequent smoker until my father passed when I was 19 and a half. There was also a period of binge drinking but I managed to stop. I'm turning 21 soon but I'm tired of feeling like I have to smoke to manage to eat or feel okay. Quarantine has been hard on my mental health and my living situation isn't the best.
4:08 PM
I used to just smoke wax carts lightly but now I've been smoking flower daily for almost a year now . I've managed to quit for a few days at a time though.
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@Reality Winner my goodness girl - big virtual hugs to you. That's a lot you've got going on and quarantine only exacerbates it and really makes it hard to process and cope. Engaging in things like this has been paramount for me and I'm just grateful you're here and sharing. Makes us all feel a little less alone about our own struggles. It takes a lot to come reach out sometimes.
4:11 PM
I found that quitting smoking weed really helped me personally with my own PTSD symptoms during this time but that doesn't mean I don't want to numb out with smoking... it's such a double edged sword.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:12 PM
@Reality Winner You mentioned your living situation, can you get away from weed there, or is someone else smoking too?
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:14 PM
no just me
4:14 PM
My family does know about it though
4:14 PM
Actually I'm transferring to uni soon
4:14 PM
And I was offered a dorm
4:14 PM
I just need to survive through quarantine lol
4:15 PM
I would like to curb my weed habit though along with my other issues it makes things like my grades worse, but maybe its also depression
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are you excited about that @Reality Winner ?! going to Uni?
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Morning everyone! Sorry to jump right in real quick, I'm 20 days sober after 10 years of being a heavy user with small hiatuses in between, congrats on the week @~*ALiCiA*~ !!! That's a huge achievement! I'm happy to meet you @Reality Winner you've came to the right place to get some support with the smoking issue.
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hey @IssaBLR !!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:16 PM
@Reality Winner So many of us came to this with a big tangled ball of feelings, conditions, syndromes and problems.
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^^ very true
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:17 PM
I've been in college since I was 16 tbh and I'm over it honestly, or there were at least times where I just didn't care because I spent so many years depressed isolated and suffering from anorexia for almost 6 years in silence. But recently I've actually told my mother and started being more open to friends and trying to improve. I'm also trying to improve my sleep and productivity and being sober because I miss it.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:17 PM
@Reality Winner Getting quit doesn't just throw that ball out the window, but it does let you start unraveling that ball.
4:17 PM
Are you in treatment for the anorexia?
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@Moderator -- Subduction preach man, preach
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:19 PM
No but I want to be, I literally don't have health insurance starting this year and because of everything going on I can't really go out or afford to. Apparently health issues like bradycardia and messed up bloods can make me more prone to corona. I've already had cardiac scares a few weeks ago.
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very well said @Moderator -- Subduction !!! it certainly adds momentum to recovery
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:20 PM
I used to see a psychiatrist, last time was December but my insurance hasn't been active since January.
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@Reality Winner that makes me mad at the insurance system for you, cause I know how much of a hassle it is to get help when you really need it.
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:23 PM
Yeah I'm American btw I never anticipated anything like this would happen during a crucial moment of my life lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:23 PM
@Reality Winner I do believe there are options out there to get you access to treatment without insurance, especially now. It's important you address the smoking and the anorexia together. Anorexia is a deadly disease, but "either I smoke or my anorexia gets worse" is a false choice.
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:23 PM
yeah I realized that
4:23 PM
I honestly can't even imagine eating without smoking anymore
4:24 PM
Its honestly fed into excuses not to eat or not addressing the anxiety
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Hey guys!
4:24 PM
@Reality Winner I went through something similar
4:24 PM
Couldn’t eat meals without knowing I had a joint to have afterwards
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:24 PM
Hey @Deleted User ! Good to see you!
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Hey Sub! You too mate
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My counselor dropped me in January too because she wouldn't do phone calls or anything like that during this time. I'm american as well!
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Damn man
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Hey @Deleted User glad to see you man!
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Hey Bond! Nice to see you too!
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@Reality Winner it also could be worse, believe me, quitting early in life is the best decision you can make, the longer you wait the worse it gets, and the harder it becomes to quit
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:25 PM
@Deleted User my friend has actually experienced this too! He doesn't have an appetite anymore. For me it's like a complete loss of hunger signals plus appetite suppression from weed on top of it agh
4:25 PM
@Chickens I saw on reddit that nobody regrets quitting
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Took me a few days to realise I can still play video games and watch stuff without being stoned
4:26 PM
First few days I just felt odd
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hey @Deleted User and @Chickens !! How are you folks feeling this morning?
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Hey careergirl! Nice to see you
4:26 PM
Not too bad, contemplating on whether to get another chocolate bar or not
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:27 PM
@Reality Winner In rehab they told us that "you don't commit to quitting, you commit to doing whatever you have to do to quit. One is a goal, one is a process. People who succeed and people who failed at quitting both had the same goal. 🙂
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@Chickens true that, it gets to the point where you start associating getting high with everything. Before all this I started my work day at 7 but would get up at 4 in the morning to smoke. Then as soon as I got off work it was the same thing. I even started taking my bowl to lunch so I could drive away from the site to smoke.
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:27 PM
Wow I never thought about it like that before
4:28 PM
You know what I relate to with that also is anorexia
4:28 PM
Its like an addiction
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Hey everyone! Sorry to jump in at the middle. I was a daily smoker for around 6 years and now I’m 82 days sober!
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@Moderator -- Subduction thats a great way to look at it, really takes the pressure off of being afraid to fail
4:28 PM
hey @anonymous !!! hell yeah!!
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It's a way of trying to get control in your life is my experience (anorexia)
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@Reality Winner it absolutely is
4:29 PM
yeah, was goign to say, about controlling your immediate surroundings and emotions attached to it
4:29 PM
hey @M1NDFEEDER !!!
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Small update, the only thing getting me through this at the minute is the echoing thought that when i pass my studies, all due no later then the 30th of may i will smoke. I hope this passes and the time comes and i pass smoking in 2 or 3 more weeks but it's the only thing that is making it tolerable right now. And that's a slippery slope to ride
4:30 PM
If that's in 10 days or 20 or 1 day, when all is handed in and i know i have passed year 2, i can smoke without the guilt of failing etc
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It is! @Reality Winner I was a chunky kid when growing up, idk if i went through anorexia at one point but there was a point where I would obsessively count my calories, go run 10 miles a day and drink nothing but some lemon water detox stuff. My body and myself felt horrible all the time but it was all I could think about and made me terrified to eat.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:31 PM
@Reality Winner When you think about quitting and play that through, we all get the "but if I quit, then..." worries that make us stop considering quitting. Are your concerns about eating the thoughts that come up the most?
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:31 PM
@M1NDFEEDER thats exactly what its been like for me, and to an extent I'm still not ready to get better nor have a true desire to. But I do have a desire to commit to quitting weed before I tackle that other issue. I think its because it's nearly been over half a decade struggling with it. Its honestly gotten so bad during quarantine where I would just cry in my room all day and smoke and watch endless movies for whitenoise and comfort but I know I'm not supposed to feel this way all the time.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:31 PM
Hi @Enzo ! Glad you're here.
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:32 PM
@IssaBLR that sounds terrible and similar to how it started for me when I was 15
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@Enzo @M1NDFEEDER what's up guys I'm happy to see yall again!! :)
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@Reality Winner one day and one step at a time and showing ourselves grace and compassion during the process is sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves
4:32 PM
hey @Enzo good to see you back
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Thanks mate, just trying to check in to give myself some daily responsibility. But i feel that even 6 weeks won't be enough time to handle the occasional smoke and i will slip back to what i am trying to escape now. But it's the only singular thought keeping me going right now, which is maybe just what i need to get through right now
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@IssaBLR I can relate to that very much, it’s terrible to feel like that as a kid and it really sticks with you
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:33 PM
@Enzo It sounds like you've really been what we call "white-knuckling it" lately.
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@Enzo I think by the time you reach that point you may not have any desire to actually smoke once you see what you can accomplish without it
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For what's it's worth, from someone who "enjoys" starving herself, sobriety makes it easier to fight off. And you tend to eat better than the entire McDonald's menu at 4am @Reality Winner big hugs though 🖤
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I'm hoping when the time comes and i have passed, enough time has passed for me to shake that thought, but i dont know. If it keeps me sober today then i guess it's better than caving
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Oh yeah, hello 👋🏻
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:34 PM
@Enzo yeah I'm struggling with schoolwork too but I always have depending on how bad my depression and ED is
4:35 PM
I like that thing you're doing to cut it off till may
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ugh, don't mention mcdonalds please, never gonna eat there again
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@Enzo yes sir just keep making it through today.
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:36 PM
@M1NDFEEDER thanks for the encouragement ! It's really nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel ❤
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:36 PM
@here This is my usual halfway(ish) message you encourage you to say hello if you're lurking! Don't wait for the right time, just say hello. we'd love to meet you.
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@M1NDFEEDER Haha I cant say I miss the daily fast food binges
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:36 PM
Last week I spent over 60 dollars in 2 days over takeout :/ this combined with being intoxicated the entire night doing it
4:36 PM
Not fun or good for my self esteem
4:37 PM
It was mc dees too
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There's always a way out, remember you're in a tunnel not a hole, and even holes have light if you're good at digging 🖤 @Reality Winner
👍 4
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:37 PM
@Enzo Remember, don't look up, don't look down. Just focus on today. figure out why today is fighting back so much, and start trying experiments to make today better. the rest of the days can sort themselves out.
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@Reality Winner We’ve all been there before. I think the fact that you’re wanting to change is a very good sign.
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love that @M1NDFEEDER !!!
4:38 PM
yeah @Reality Winner not many people get to the place you are at and yet, here you are! I hope you are proud of yourself even for just simply reaching out. Doing that in of itself is a daunting thing to do.
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I've killed the conversation, back to lurking whoosh 😆
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Not at all lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:41 PM
@Reality Winner I'll make my usual pitch for the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Have you run across it yet? It's a very well-respected and clinically validate course in cognitive behavioral therapy you can do yourself. It really helped me, so I talk recommend it a lot.
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Has anyone had a lot of headaches after quitting?
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@M1NDFEEDER I swear you crack me up at least once a chat 😂
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:41 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol
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I don’t know if it’s from having to deal with the stress directly now or something else
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@anonymous that was a big symptom of mine, along with cloudy thoughts it was maddening to not hear my own thoughts in all the "static"
4:42 PM
Meditation, drinking lots of water, and getting some exercise helped out with a bit for me.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:43 PM
@Reality Winner Cognitive behavioral therapy is also the leading evidence based treatment for anorexia and bulimia.
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I had the cloudy thoughts for a bit too. My thoughts are a lot clearer now but even after all this time I’m still getting the headaches.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:43 PM
@anonymous I get tension headaches all the time if I don't keep my neck stretched.
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Maybe it’s something like that? I exercise daily but maybe I need to stretch more.
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:44 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction ill see if I can order it or torrent a copy!
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@anonymous like sub said if I'm feeling tense or stressed they come around easily.
4:45 PM
@Reality Winner arr I've met another fellow pirate lmao
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@Moderator -- Subduction What did you mean with white knuckling it by the way? 🙂
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:45 PM
Yeah I've been seeing therapists since I was a child but my main issue was not having a therapist who specialized in eating disorders. It takes alot of time to find the right person or meds
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:45 PM
@Reality Winner Gosh, I don't know what this "torrent" thing is you're talking about, but I'm sure you can find a copy there... 😉
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Reality Winner 26/04/2020 4:45 PM
😅
4:45 PM
I don't know if I will experience withdrawl symptoms but thats my biggest fear about going cold turkey
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The dissociation is probably my biggest gripe with withdrawal, but every morning is getting milder, just trying to deal with the night times now 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:46 PM
@Reality Winner My suggestion is that you read the whole book, including the introduction. which I never usually do. But he talks about all the clinical evidence behind cbt, and even better, behind how cbt from a book works so well.
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also 2 weeks and a bit, but the constant thought of weed is there too, first and last thought, hoping that tapers down a bit as approach week 3 and 4
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@Reality Winner you will probably experience some, not all but some! The biggest challenge is developing some healthier coping habits to deal with them and to try to stay out of your head.
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I just remembered this from a long time ago. The first time I ever truly quit I made it to about 100-110 days. I eventually decided to smoke again and I remember taking one hit of a bowl and thinking, “wow what was I doing this whole time.” It really set in how much weed actually affected my thought process. My thinking was immediately clouded and while I did eventually go back to smoking I think if anyone does turn back to it again you might have that same realization and decide to quit for good.
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@Enzo I have faith in you, I'm approaching the third week and every morning and night i feel like I'm missing something in my schedule still.
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I'm no scientist but I believe THC is stored in fat cells so if you've low body fat you'll perhaps have a less gnarly withdrawal @Reality Winner I think I benefitted anyways 🤷🏼‍♀️ always a silver lining... (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:49 PM
@Enzo White kncukling it is when you're just grabbing on to quitting so hard that your knuckles turn white -- it implies that you are staying quit through sheer force of will. Will is important, but it's not sustainable. You need to start running experiments to see what quells your cravings and keeps you busy. Start changing your life away from weed rather than just forcing yourself every day
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Ah i see, well the biggest routine changes i have done is actually doing my assignment work, and trying to hit targets i never did while high, so i study during the day and do my questions and at night i game
4:51 PM
im really glad i didn't game and smoke, i kept that separate the entire time and im thankful i had the foresight to at least do that lol
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@anonymous damn, thanks for sharing that....
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@Moderator -- Subduction has an awesome point there, i had that issue my first week and is was like torture. My only focus was not smoking weed and doing nothing else. I literally got nothing done which is okay! But I was feeling stagnant and not productive with my time, all the free time left my thoughts to wander.
4:53 PM
@anonymous what made you want to smoke again if you care that I ask?
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:53 PM
@Enzo It's great your getting your work done, that can give you a real sense of accomplishment, but start pulling apart your desire to smoke -- when it happens, your mood when it happens most -- write them down, and then write down things to try to sort it out.
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@Enzo I would smoke and play games back in college, probably the biggest waste of time in my life. It makes the most mind numbing tasks in a game bearable which gets so addicting over time. (edited)
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:55 PM
Five minute warning! But we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time today! Tomorrow we will have been up for a week! Every single day we've made new friends here. I can't tell you how exciting it's been to see it grow. 🙂
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@anonymous can relate. Last time I smoked the high hit, I panicked and before I passed out I wrote on a TRIGGER WARNING McDonald's napkin: "you are taking a drug to deliberately dissociate, ie making yourself mentally ill, WHO DOES THAT?!" Not the exact words but the sentiment was the same (edited)
👍 2
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@~*ALiCiA*~ yeah it was a pretty eye opening revelation. And @IssaBLR at that point I don’t think I truly wanted to quit. I knew it wasn’t worth it for me anymore and I was throwing away so much to do it but at the time I couldn’t bring myself to give it up. I also didn’t really have the external encouragement that I thought I needed at the time.
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Can you have a remind me bot in here for me to wear my glasses?
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:57 PM
@Reality Winner I'm glad you jumped in today. I hope we'll see you back. 🙂
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@M1NDFEEDER wow that is the perfect way to put it. I had almost an identical thought. I remember going back inside after taking the one hit and just watching tv as I thought about my whole life and how this drug was making me disassociate from all of my problems.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:58 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I'll talk to Dave Bot, but last time I tried he kicked me out of his office.
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Yeah high me wanted to save me apparently. I wrote "I LOVE YOU" on the back 🤷🏼‍♀️😆 @anonymous
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@anonymous fair enough statement, I have those thoughts too these days like "why am I trying to get sober?" I overpower them now but 100 days in like you were I could see it being easy to forget your motives. (edited)
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Ahahah @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 4:59 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Yeah, if only we followed through on the insights we discovered high. But then I got high...
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I got you @M1NDFEEDER instead of saying hello I'll just ask if you have your glasses on first 😂
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Oh you're my favourite @IssaBLR 😆 please do 🖤
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❤️ hey you’re here now and making a choice to quit! @M1NDFEEDER
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 5:00 PM
Alright all, time to close up. Back at 5, great to see you all!
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Peace out everyone and stay strong!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
10:00 PM
If this is your first time here, this is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so just jump in! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit. Now you -- check in and let us know how you're doing with your quit.
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hey everybody, still surviving, good to see you subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @Chickens !
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greetings from Denmark. I am 36 days clean today and I was a smoker for about 4,5 years
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congrats mike, stay strong!
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Hi all. Tomorrow will be one week.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hello @Deleted User
10:01 PM
Hi @Michael A week is awesome.
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what's everybody been up to
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:02 PM
@Michael How are you feeling?
10:03 PM
@Deleted User I've been trying to clean. It's so easy to let thing slide on lockdown
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Yeah I feel you man, gotta get some structure in the day
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Proud! It's been neither very easy nor very hard
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:04 PM
@Deleted User Yeah, didn't actually get dressed yesterday. Robe day. Not a positive development. 🙂
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I'm about to go to crazy dream land
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Haha sounds chill tho. It was saturday so I guess you're good for now lol
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I quit cold after using it on 4/20 more out of a sense of duty than enjoyment
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Wish me luck guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:04 PM
Ha @♛KAXA♛ !
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I'm gonna try to have a lucid dream
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Since my dreams seem realer than life
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Good luck. Be wary of sleep paralysis bro
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Lol
10:05 PM
Dont say that please
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if it happens it happens
10:06 PM
nah man youre good bro
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During this quarantine the sleep paralysis demon be looking kind of cute tho
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lemme know what happens G
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Hello, leavers.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:08 PM
As a reminder for people who are looking for it, a leaves user posts a ling to a great series of sleep tips that have been posted on leaves over the years. https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
11 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
10:09 PM
Hi @Ghastles ! Glad you made it!
10:09 PM
How's your quit going?
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hey
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:12 PM
hi @Deleted User, welcome!
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Hi Subduction. its nice to be here!
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it’s been a bit rough few days
10:13 PM
:/
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Because of all this or the world at large?
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@Moderator -- Subduction are posts approved by mods because mine didn’t rly appear on the sub
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:13 PM
@Deleted User rp What are you feeling?
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sorry to hear that, Burp :(
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all this
10:13 PM
it’s day 4 for me
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:14 PM
@Deleted User They can be, let me have a look
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Today is my day one, stay strong burp! Everyone here is inspiration for me
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:14 PM
Hi @holly!
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I found day 4 to be tough, it gets easier though @Deleted User
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Honestly, i was pretty demotivated this morning, after my first post ever to reddit / leaves got burried by new posts within minutes
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Heh that's the reddit way
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I’m bricking it for tomorrow. Not made it past 1 day without in the last 5 years. How long does it get worse for and when does it start to get better? In anyone’s experience anyway
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That's why we should all sort by new hint hint 😉
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@holly we’re all here for you
10:16 PM
This server is brilliant for support
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I like reading reddit, but participating on discord more -- and was kind of bummed to find out that this server is so time-boxed. Hint hint :)
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I’d speak to Sub if you have suggestions
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@Deleted User thank you! Yeah I popped in yesterday knowing today was day 1 and everyone was lovely 🙂 glad to be here
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but, turned that post into a journal of sorts, so even if its hidden away, theres at least some tangible proof / writing of this experience... which is super important to me.
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@holly I’m on day 12 after doing it every day for five years, it’s tough but after day 3 it gets easier
10:17 PM
In fact, even day 2 is seen as an improvement (edited)
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so sorry Holly! the first day is terrible :(
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Physically journaling can be nice too
10:17 PM
I've been doing that for two years just for fun
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greetings
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but glad you are pushing yourself through it.
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Hardest part is just understanding that you can still watch films, play video games and live your life without weed
10:18 PM
Sleep too
10:18 PM
@Phaxxy Hello buddy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:18 PM
@Ghastles Sorry! It's an unusual time for us. We had a post go to number one on all of reddit, so traffic has gone nuts. But please post as often as you like.
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@Deleted User well done!! I’ve had like 2 instances of going a day without but I’ve always found day two worse so fingers crossed for tomorrow! Hopefully day 3/4 will be easier
10:19 PM
So relate to the tv video games without it!
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i don't like reading leaves reddit that much honestly it just gets me more stressed
10:19 PM
@holly Chamomile tea will be your best friend at night for sleep
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Ham Mouse, it took a while before I could. if a show came on or song that i watched smoking weed.... it was an instant stressor
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i start gettin into that anxious thinking mode
10:19 PM
@Ghastles Couldnt agree more, I couldn’t listen to reggae for a week at least
10:19 PM
Was just like a trigger for me to grab the grinder
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank you!
10:20 PM
aye.
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I’ve been using a meditation app which has like mood check in and notes which I’ve found super helpful today
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Good evening everybody! I'm 20 days strong after 10 years of smoking habitually.
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@IssaBLR whaddup family
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Congratulations @IssaBLR !
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Well done bondomatic!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:20 PM
@Ghastles We'll have well over 200,000 users this month. A truly crazy number, but awesome too. People are starting to hear about us. 🙂
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Hey Bond! Congrats mate!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:21 PM
@IssaBLR Hey!
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There's this new netflix show by the guy who made Adventure Time, "Midnight Gospel". I put it on the first night after quitting and wow it is totally made for stoners. I stuck it through two episodes partly to tempt fates and come out on top, but wow, it was hard
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Only thing I’ve noticed I can’t play much anymore sober is football manager. As for everything else, it’s fine now
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Thanks guys!! And I love seeing some new faces here!
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I still can't listen to Fleetwood Mac. I miss Stevie 😭
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:22 PM
@Michael I had that reaction to Rick and Morty. I haven't smoked in 21 years, but I was amazed to hear myself think "Wow, I'd like to be high for this..."
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Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow!
10:22 PM
Let that be your motivation
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@Michael I love this show, i dont think its exactly made for stoners but the psychedelic presence is heavy in it. It's a good show for an Intro for spiritualism and mindfulness.
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That's awesome @Moderator -- Subduction The world needs a safe place for weed leavers to support each other. Imo weed tends to be overlooked by traditional addiction services.... You have created an amazing thing here.
👍 1
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Hey guys, quick question here. I'll give a little backstory first.
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Sure Ritchey, shoot
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What's up @M1NDFEEDER you got them glasses?
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:23 PM
@Deleted User No Fleetwood Mac, one day at a time. Stop thinking about tomorrow.
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Ahahah @Deleted User #triggered
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:23 PM
Hey @Richey!
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What haha
10:23 PM
Ah * (edited)
10:24 PM
i just want to stop burying my pain in escapism in general now
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@IssaBLR fair, I'd only seen the first two, and considering how heavy the first ep is on talking about drugs -- specifically weed -- and "there's no such thing as a bad drug, only bad relationships with them" I was like... damn, universe, you're really calling me out on my first night, huh
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Totally do @IssaBLR 🤥
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@Ghastles couldn’t agree more about services overlooking us, I went to a local service and it was horrible, felt so invalidated like weed shouldn’t even be hard to quit! You guys have already been 10x more helpful!
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Guy's you won't believe this. I was eating some caramel chocolate earlier today and my gold cap fell off, exposing my nerve root on my tooth, like the pain is legitimately making me feel sick solid 9/10 as it's exposed nerve ending 😦
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Ive been a heavy smoker for about 10 years, for the 2nd half it's been about an 8th per day which then moved on to dabs, smoking about a gram a day. I've been weed free for 11 days now, and I honestly havent had any cravings or anything. Obviously im getting the withdrawals bad but that was expected. I'm more happy that im not craving it. But the issue i'm having is my mornings, I can't get out of bed and I dont start feeling even semi normal until like 7-8 at night. It's really weird but im guessing its my brain adapting to no weed?
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All hospitals are not doing any dental treatments and neither are dentists, im very, very fortunate that my auntie runs a private dental practice and got me a phone call with one within the hour and some anti-biotics prescribed and a check tomorrow comped by her
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I'm sleeping like 16 hours a day it seems
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other-wise it would be outta pocket cost of thousands
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@Ritchey It’s a bit like playing monopoly every night and suddenly not playing anymore
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holy crap Enzo, thats horrible
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might weigh in my gold cap see what it's worth
10:25 PM
hahaha
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@Michael yeah that first episode is very drug oriented. I think its like the hook to get you on it, especially with dr. Drew on there. The third one is amazing because it's an interview with Damien Echols (satanic panic victim) and he talks about magic. Honestly my favorite show beating out the good ol Rick and Morty lol
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I just keep thinking about tomorrow, add another day to the amount of days I’ve been sober for, positivity breeds positivity
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Got find those silver linings @Enzo
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:26 PM
@Enzo Oh jeez, sorry man. I know dentists are considered essential, so some are taking emergency appointments, call around. You can also get temporary fillings at the drugstore that covers the nerve.
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Or should I say...
10:26 PM
GOLD
10:26 PM
🙄
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Cool, I'm hyped to watch the 3rd and beyond :)
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@IssaBLR what show?
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So many little lines of dialogue from the second episode have really stuck with me
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@M1NDFEEDER you may or may not have your glasses but your jokes are still on point.
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Toughest times I find are at night as it was the most common time I ever did it
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Midnight Gospel @Ghastles
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thanks @Michael
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:27 PM
@Ritchey First and foremost, 11 days is great. What time are you getting to bed? Are you sleeping?
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My real issue is just the morning is so bad, im not really struggling to sleep I just feel so shitty in the morning.
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I'm actually wearing them, no typos see? 😆
👍 2
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I've been going to sleep around 4am and i dont get up until about 3. Waking up every 2-3 hours
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Same for me. The last episode made me cry a bit lol it's so beautifully done.
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@Ritchey are you more anxious in the mornings or are you just feeling lower?
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Also @Moderator -- Subduction yeah, I'm simultaneously excited for the next R&M episodes to drop (obviously) but also dreading a little because it was one of those things that I would ritualistically get high for every time
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It's a bit of both, my heart rate in the morning and my chest is extremely tight, but I also feel very low.
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the anxiety is rough for me
10:28 PM
i just feel nervous and uneasy all the time
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:28 PM
@Ritchey Well, as the saying goes, there's your problem... 🙂 Did you see the sleep thread I posted earlier? (edited)
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Ive been taking ativan and just got prescribed zoloft so ill be starting that this week.
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@Ritchey you're doing great and dont let the constant sleeping get you down, my first week my routine was sleep, watch tv, and then sleep again lmao
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@Ritchey I’ve found I’ve been tight cheated too, which feels really backwards
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kinda ironic since i used weed to calm my anxieties
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no I haven't i'll have to check that out!
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Thank guys, i rang the hospital got told not to go there unless my eye swells shut as i risk exposure to covid and if it's not severe enough they will turn me away and the only dentists that are doing work are when the multi millionaires are paying thousands and thousands for lol, i feel extremely fortunate to have an auntie in the position she is in, other-wise i would be screwed until whenever lock-down ends, but if i don't need the work doing i can wait a little bit i just need something for the pain and trying to not reach for weed and just wait until i can get some pain killers from the doctor tomorrow
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i don't have too much appetite and i have to practically force myself to eat
10:29 PM
and day/night sweats are annoying
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Yep the first week can be hella tough, just keep going, it's a cliché but IT DOES GET EASIER
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:29 PM
@Ritchey Sleep hygiene is your friend.
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@Deleted User yeah dude what you're feeling is raw feeling. for me it was like that for a little bit in the beginning. sweating and anxiety for sure.
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@Deleted User Yeah the sweats can be bad at the start, I had it particularly with my hands and feet
10:29 PM
i wonder
10:29 PM
is it from withdrawl
10:29 PM
or just my regular ass feelings coming back
10:30 PM
or both
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bit of both
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@Deleted User Think it’s a bit of both
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Stay strong @Enzo - you’ll feel amazing once your tooth is sorted and you know that you didn’t go for the weed to deal with it in the meantime! You got this
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Option 3
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@Moderator -- Subduction could I get a link to that thread? Can't find it
10:33 PM
@here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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@Deleted User after my first week I was an emotional mess. It was honestly like all those years I was numbing my feelings they were coming back to bite me. I cried 4 times in one week which was a record for me lol
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fr
10:33 PM
i cried
10:33 PM
like twice
10:33 PM
i don't usually cry
10:33 PM
the anxiety gets overwhelming sometimes
10:33 PM
@Deleted User Raw emotions buddy
10:34 PM
Just know we’re all in a similar boat and are here for you whenever you need to talk
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Awesome thanks, i'll try some of those. I think once i'm able to get past the morning being so depressive i'll never look back. I'm just really happy i dont have any cravings as of now. The only "Craving" i have is im sick if feeling like crap but i think in the long run it will be worth it.
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Im on day 3 now, and I've already noticed some improvements... like, my vocabulary has expanded, and im making about 85% less typos.... But its really hard to focus on anything specific. Im scared to start a new project right away... because in the past that was my go to... and as soon as i finished a project I would relapse. Have insomnia, and when I finally get to sleep, when i wake up, am sick to my stomach for about an hour.... but honestly... the physical symptoms are nothing compared to the mental uncertainty, doubt, cravings, and anxiety
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@Ghastles i feel a lot more alert too
10:34 PM
which i like
10:34 PM
i don't feel dumb
10:34 PM
and like a zombie (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:35 PM
@Deleted User The regulars here know that I like to recommend a book to people -- "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Have you run across it yet?
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the catalyst that got me to quit was a panic/anxiety attack i had
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That's what's up @Ghastles! gotta love those small improvements and that appreciation for that stuff makes it worthwhile.
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after smoking too much
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Relatable content @Deleted User
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same @Deleted User . Weed had always helped my anxiety but in reality i think it was me just using weed to hide it, and after so long the weed isnt hiding it anymore and made it worse
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@Deleted User its tough dude. when i was getting high my days were either a 1 or a 10. now i have those days that are just 5's or 6's. but im okay with that and the more okay with that I become the more my days start to look like 10's again
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Though long ago my resolution was simply giving up edibles
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like i just felt the same
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@Phaxxy exactly what you said right there. Just gotta except human suffering is inevitable in life and it's how you deal with it that makes us all better.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:37 PM
@richie -- yeah mornings suck for awhile, but if you get up and go to sleep at the exact same time with eight hours in the middle it gets better
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Thanks @IssaBLR . I agree, if i wasnt actively trying to chart improvements, I dont think I would have made it this far.
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Well said Bond
10:37 PM
honestly music helps with my anxiety a bit (edited)
10:37 PM
just distracts me from my thoughts
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@IssaBLR true. life is hard. but the 5's and 6's are neutral and i try to look at them from a positive light
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@Moderator -- Subduction big issue with me is that my niece and nephew live upstairs for a few months and theyre so loud and up early, it really kills my schedule unless I go to sleep at 7pm like them
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If you use caffeine I'd look into that too @Deleted User
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@M1NDFEEDER yea i drink soda a shitton
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Ding Ding Ding dude (edited)
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@Deleted User You and me both, it can be very calming for it I find
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My building has 0 soundproofing and I live underneath a six year old. I feel that. Finding earplugs that work for me was the only thing that's helped. Good luck :/ @Ritchey
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@Deleted User not just that, but certain types of music, has been proven to have relaxing effects on the body
10:38 PM
@burp have you tried making musicm
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I can honestly recommend you taper that down and it may help massively
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Got what you're saying there @Phaxxy anyday living 6ft above ground is going to be an alright day.
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the only easy day was yesterday
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Ain't that the truth @IssaBLR
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I'm only 5'11 but close enough eh? 😅
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Same!
10:40 PM
On a good day
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Try being 5ft3
10:40 PM
Did someone say Napoleon complex 😆
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@IssaBLR i aint what i oughta be. i aint what i wanna be. but thank god i aint what i was
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:41 PM
@Ritchey Well, it may seem ugly, but maybe you might consider it for a little while. Especially if you're tempted at night.
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:42 PM
@Ritchey Also seems ridiculous, but you could consider sleeping in earplugs. The beautiful, wonderful woman I'm married to is a bit of a snorer, so I can testify that they work like a charm. 🙂
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@Phaxxy I'm dying bro that's beautiful. 😂
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thats an amazing quote @Phaxxy
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I honestly may look into sleeping earplugs, I always wake up mid anxiety attack because it sounds like a bowling ball is about to fall through the floor.
10:42 PM
I never wake up naturally
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Oh yeah, the earplugs I mentioned are purely for sleeping
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i think i might be speaking to my therapist tommorow and my doctor next week
👍 2
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those soft foam earplugs are pretty great
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hopefully i can get some insight from them on how to deal with this as well
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You have my sympathy @Ritchey I got sober during storms over here. Didn't think I'd ever sleep again
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:44 PM
@Ritchey The foam ones are best, but I apparently have the ear canals of a five year old girl, so they're too big for me. I use the putty silicone ones and they're great.
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i remember being in an airbnb in DTLA, i couldn't sleep 😂
10:44 PM
even after earplugs
10:44 PM
i guess im lucky i live in a quiet place
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I’m headed to bed now! Thanks again for being so supportive, happy I’ve achieved day one and hopefully tomorrow will go well too. Night guys, well done to everyone doing so well!! X
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Goidnight @holly !!
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Keep at it @holly 🖤
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:45 PM
Good to see you @holly! Hope to see you again soon!
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Nice meeting you @holly you got this!!
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Thank you so much you’re all so kind! Will be back tomorrow 🙂 night x
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how do i flush thc out of my system faster? (if i even can) (edited)
10:48 PM
i've heard water but not sure if thats a myth or not
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Pass but I'd definitely recommend exercise
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yea
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Endorphins ftw (edited)
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i got some resistance tubes to do workouts with (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:49 PM
@Deleted User All those "methods" are off-topic for us as a group, so I'll limit this discussion some, mostly because they are really myths. The only real way is to not smoke, live healthy. and let your body do its thing. It wants it out, just let it.
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theres no real way to flush out the system of thc faster because it stores in fat cells
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got yall
10:50 PM
ty
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I've read drinking water, exercise, and as @Moderator -- Subduction living a healthy lifestyle out helps tremendously!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:51 PM
@Deleted User It makes sense that we feel this way -- we've been ordering our body to feel a certain way instantly with a drug, you just get used to being like "okay, I quit, get better NOW." 🙂
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yea
10:51 PM
its bc you don't got that rush anymore
10:51 PM
of dopamine
10:51 PM
your body is used to
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instant gratification is rough
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well, its because your tried and tested method of instant gratification doesnt work. there are other methods of getting the dopamine rush. the challenge is finding which one works for you
👍 2
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It's also fun
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Exactly everyone wants to be at the top of the summit but no one wants to make the climb.
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To try new things to clarify
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no summit baby we STAY climbing
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Or as ronnie Coleman said "everyone wanna get big and strong but dont wanna lift them heavy ass weights"
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man. instant gratification is just terrible.
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@IssaBLR hahaha
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Well it is if it's abused @Ghastles
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@Phaxxy the grind is truly the climb. 😅
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kinda realised over the last bit, that as a society we are trained to it... but as an addict, it seems so... much more... worse
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But hey I'm mindfeeder and I'm an addict soo...
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the challenge for me in the past was that all the other things that gave me gratification I also did while high. so I had to learn how to do them sober and allow the memories of the gratification high gives me to fade. in neuroscience, its called depotentiation, as synaptic connections related to the memory of getting high fade and become harder to activate
👍 2
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One of my fave scifi genres is post-scarcity -- everything is already solved and bountiful and free, so there are often good dives into what makes existence meaningful when everything can be instantly gratified
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Hey @M1NDFEEDER
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@IssaBLR no days off💯 rip grandma🦾 🙏
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like we live in a world, where we can get our food delivered to our door, cooked, with the click of a mouse
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@Michael like brave new world?
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Sorry recovery meetings kicking in there lmao
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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That's up there for sure! One of my top choices
10:56 PM
lately I've been into the Culture series
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never heard of it
10:56 PM
who is the author
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Iain M Banks
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are there audio books? lol
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@michael thats a great concept, and I enjoy sci_fi like that as well
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Maybe, not sure since I don't do audiobooks
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lol, audio books, and instant gratification
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I've never had the attention span for audio haha
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finding meaning in a world where every need can be easily met usually can be very tough. a world with so many people that it is truly hard to be special. it is easy for me to get caught up in hedonism.
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(i enjoy audio books, but kinda see the irony there)
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I'm a "stop and smell the roses" reader so I need to intake the same paragraph like three times before it sticks
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Speaking of food mine has just arrived ordered by the click of a button, night y'all 🖤
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@Michael that's amazing it's like flip flopped for me lol I do the same for audio books if I miss something I'm hitting that rewind button
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later mind
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern time tomorrow! So happy to see new people here today, the time is just flying by. Hope to see you all again at one of our two meetings tomorrow!
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i ho estly havent read a paper book in years. I let weed take my ability to focus, or even enjoy, reading.
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i have a very long commute to work so audio books are great
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@M1NDFEEDER gotta love technology, have a good one!
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Thanks for hosting this @Moderator -- Subduction! look forward to seeing everyone tomorrow!
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yea later everyone
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I'm getting out of here yall, peace out and stay strong!
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@Default if you do by chance check out that series, I have to +1 the consensus opinion which is to skip the first book
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good luck and keep on carrying on
10:59 PM
lol thanks michael. might do that
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stay safe, stay sober, everyone!
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Moderator -- Subduction 26/04/2020 10:59 PM
So great to see you all as always!
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Peace all. Gonna make some potstickers 8)
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You as well @Moderator -- Subduction I say this all the time thanks again for all this!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
4:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! If this is your first time here, this is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so just jump in!
4:01 PM
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit.
4:01 PM
Now you -- check in and let us know how you're doing...
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Hello, and thanks.
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Good morning Leavers.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:01 PM
Hi @pomeljamones !
4:02 PM
@Ghastles Welcome back!
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thanks @Moderator -- Subduction , and damn! I was wondering yesterday a bit about your history, what lead you to forming this.... 21 years is amazing!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:05 PM
@Ghastles Thanks! I just knew that people have a problem with a drug would always be a percentage of the people using a drug, so I saw usage rising and felt there would be a need. I didn't want what happened with alcohol -- recrimination, and "you're just weak" etc to be repeat with weed.
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Afternoon, closing in on 75 days over here. Same old same old recovery wise 👋🏻
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:07 PM
Hey @M1NDFEEDER!
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Pretty amazing forsight. Honestly, When I had quit before... went to a rehab centre to get clean... had that exact experience. People who were addicted to "real" drugs looked down on "weak willed potsmokers"
4:08 PM
hey @M1NDFEEDER ! Great to see you!
4:08 PM
so... its great to see a group like this, especially (based off what you said yesterday) making it to the mainstream, and bringing awareness
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:09 PM
I understand it, I used a lot of other drugs including opiates, and when you're an opiate users, or whatever, and going through a bad time it doesn't lend itself well to empathy. I just don't want ti to gain hold in the weed community or in society at large.
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Hey all! How's everyone doing today?
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:10 PM
Hello @anonymous Good to see you!
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Good to see everyone! I have basically not gone to sleep so I feel a little groggy right now.
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@M1NDFEEDER just wanted to say, thank you for reaching out to me yesterday. You really made a difference, and I greatly appreciate it!
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@Ghastles I totally get that and i've experience that before with the people around me. They act like it's impossible to get addicted to weed and you're being dramatic if you act like you are.
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good news, i got some prescription medication for the heartburn and it seems to be working
4:12 PM
thank you lord
4:12 PM
!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:13 PM
@Chickens That is good news. Heartburn sucks. Had it bad myself for awhile.
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Morning everyone! 21 days sober of weed after 10 years of smoking.
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@Moderator -- Subduction oh brother, i've just been about a month in, it's good to get some relief
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This is awesome. Hey everyone, first time making it to this meeting
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:13 PM
Morning @IssaBLR
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No problem @Ghastles some of my posts go unreacted to in there at times but then again half of them say "day 7* blah blah blah" soo... 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:14 PM
Hi @dr3w Happy you found us, welcome!
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What's up @dr3w happy to meet you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:15 PM
@M1NDFEEDER That is a current frustration of mine. We've added a ton of people recently, We'll have well over 200,000 people this month, and posts are outstripping comments. Working on a strategy to fix it tho.
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@Chickens that's great to hear, good you got it now before the supply dried up since apparently it can be used for corona virus.
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hey @Moderator -- Subduction @IssaBLR been a rough day so far, but I've been keeping it together for the most part. I've been on day 2 quite a few times, fortunately I've gained some experience in my temporary stupidity that kicks in at this point LOL
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@dr3w welcome, great to have you here!
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'll go back to being a comment whore and try help a bit. Just not been in the right headspace lately unfortunately
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:17 PM
@dr3w lol, my stupidity is like malaria -- I have flair ups and it never seems to go away completely. 🙂
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ALWAYS SORT BY NEW ON LEAVES THOUGH GUYS 🖤
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:17 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol, sounds great.
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@M1NDFEEDER @Moderator -- Subduction been trying to comment on uncommented posts as much as possible... but im a bit worried that i dont have the ecperience to offer support, and some of my posts may be doing more damage than good :s
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:18 PM
We'll be adding more mods, and I'm thinking of adding a volunteer "A-Team" to pay special attention to under-served posts.
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congratulations on 21 days @IssaBLR
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I get that @Ghastles you can just say good luck if that's all you've got to offer though. You can't relate to everyone but you can send good wishes
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:19 PM
@Ghastles Don't worry at all about your experience. People come to r/leaves to reach out to people. Human connection is more important that any instruction manual.
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you just gottah stay the course
4:20 PM
avoid anxiety
4:20 PM
and most importantly
4:20 PM
avoid heartburn
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@dr3w I've been there my friend I couldn't tell you how many attempts I had lol And congrats on making it to day 2!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:20 PM
@dr3w What's your situation -- are you quarantined? Do you ahve access to weed?
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@Ghastles thanks! It's partly due to meeting these wonderful folks a week ago that helped me stay strong.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:21 PM
You've given as much as you've gotten @IssaBLR 🙂
4:22 PM
@Chickens lol
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This is such a wonderful discord
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@anonymous sorry that you had to experience weed adfiction discrimation
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I appreciate that @Moderator -- Subduction I feel the love here and just have to reciprocate it to the best of my abilities.
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@Moderator -- Subduction i am currently working from home with my wife...days are consumed by work and managing my 5 and 6 year old children. Distractions are available, anger triggers are too LOL
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@Ghastles I'm sorry you had that kind of experience too, it's good to know there are people who realize how addictive it really can get.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:25 PM
@dr3w I can only imagine!
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I'm kind of interested in being a part of the "A-Team" guys I know I'm brand new but i feel like maybe a commitment would be good for me
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:25 PM
Do you have access to a stash?
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Nope I'm cleaned out.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:26 PM
@dr3w That would be great, PM me your reddit username and I'll add you to the list!
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@dr3w I feel that, my 5 year old has been home. it's been fun and nerve wracking at the same time lol
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You're all invited to my day 75 celebration party later btw. It's socially distanced of course and you'll have to bring your own cake but let's have a party why not 🥳
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If willing, I kinda feel the same way as @dr3w , @Moderator -- Subduction .
4:27 PM
my username is the same on reddit.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:27 PM
@M1NDFEEDER That's super convenient because I bring my own cake everywhere I go.
4:28 PM
@Ghastles Great. I love it when a plan comes together.
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damn. VR party at @M1NDFEEDER 's!
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That's not a bad idea at all lol
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@M1NDFEEDER I'll bring the spectacles! 😎
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@Moderator -- Subduction honestly, i was thinking yesterday... just how vakuable sonething like this could be, especially right now, with the lockdown
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Ahahaha @IssaBLR
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theres a lot of vulnerable people going through hell right now, who dont have access to any resources to help quit.
4:30 PM
and who would be suffering on their own, without any support, if it wasnt for this.
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@Ghastles for sure
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:31 PM
@Ghastles Yeah, I had plans to tentatively and carefully try live meetings, like 12-step but not 12-step, just like Leaves but together in person, but then everything shut down, so I decided it was time to do live chat and see how that went. Couldn't be happier with this, so it's a great sign for future plans.
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What with erm video calls? Zoom type thing?
4:34 PM
Or IRL
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You can do video calls on here
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whoosh I'm out
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yeah you can do 1 on 1 calls in here
4:34 PM
or channel video sharing
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@M1NDFEEDER idk if I would be comfortable doing it either lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:35 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I thought I'd try chat first. I'm inherently conservative with Leaves when trying new things. People in a difficult time need things to go well, so "let's try it and see" is something you have to be very careful with. We'll experiment with this for awhile, and then try IRL when the world opens back up.
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hopefully it opens back up soon
4:36 PM
knock on wood
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:36 PM
If someone has a bad experience in a difficult time it can make them feel more alone than when they started, so we take one step at a time.
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How would irl work?
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:37 PM
@here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Cost me a fortune in postage to do IRL 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:37 PM
@anonymous Meh -- that's getting ahead of ourselves. We'll worry about that in a few months 🙂
4:38 PM
@M1NDFEEDER ha!
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We could set up a meeting on an island in the middle of the ocean, like the fyre festival but better lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:38 PM
Sorry getting back on track -- @dr3w do you have access to weed where you are? Do you still have a stash?
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Oh please. We can all sip tea @IssaBLR I'm in
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@IssaBLR hopefully it doesn't end up like fyre festival lmao
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I'm exercising my pinky for sticking out purposes now @M1NDFEEDER And if subs running it I'm positive it will be a lot smoother @anonymous lmao
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Yeah I'll be half sensible for once... For anyone who may think that their old personality or humour will be gone when they stop smoking cos they feel super sad and down at first, it returns. Well, I think 🤷🏼‍♀️😆 (edited)
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@Moderator -- Subduction i do not have access to weed, completely empty.
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IT GETS BETTER
4:42 PM
The jokes may not
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:42 PM
@M1NDFEEDER You do bloom again, or are able to discover the real reasons you aren't and have the opportunity to work on those next.
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@Moderator -- Subduction whats messed up is I'm kind of a on the "step 1" if anyone is anyone is familiar. I am in the state of accepting I am powerless over this substance
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That is what I noticed as well! My funny bones haven't changed at all but I've just gotten weirder lmao
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:42 PM
@dr3w Well, in our very special and limited context, that's good news. 🙂
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@M1NDFEEDER personally, one thing i found... after 18 years of smoking daily
4:43 PM
i dont really have a personality other than smoking
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@Moderator -- Subduction what sucks is I enjoy weed but I know that I find I enjoy life way better without it? I definitley fall into the I feel 'normal' and then suddenly a month goes by of binging
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@Ghastles you will do. Just need to water it with sobriety
4:43 PM
It's just a sad little seedling rn
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so... its an interesting experience, recreating a personality to be what I want
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Give it time and nurture it
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@dr3w I can relate and I feel like that's the most liberating step! Its accepting the problem so you can move on from the substance. I say that I smoked weed so I can slow down and smell the flowers but in reality it made me too high to notice them.
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I'm a cactus!
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Succulents unite!
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:44 PM
@dr3w It is amazing how many of us can get to a really bad place, and still have this weird arrogance like "okay, I just need to rebalance a little and I'll go back to moderation and it will be fine."
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that said, Im also on the sociopathic spectrum, and can kinda... become who i need to be for a situation.
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@Moderator -- Subduction dude yes on the moderation attempt. I've been attempting moderation for a decade
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Well choose to be a sober good person in that case 😊 @Ghastles
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clearly moderating isn't working LOL
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:45 PM
@dr3w lol, HOW'S THAT GOIN FOR YOU? 🙂
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more by treating every human interaction as an acting role
4:46 PM
@M1NDFEEDER absolutely!!!
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thanks for talking to me guys, I know you're having multiple conversations at once.
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That could be due to the weed. Making you feel like a passenger in your own life as it was what drove your decision making processes. Give it time and water. @Ghastles (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:46 PM
@dr3w What helped me was the realization that the last thing I want to do is moderate. It's like being friends with my ex.
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Moderation for addicts is like giving a starving dog a bowl of food and expecting it not to scarf it all down lol
👍 3
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hahaha, nope. screw that noise @Moderator -- Subduction
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@dr3w Been in that situation so many times. It always starts with, "I'll only smoke once a month" then "i'll only smoke on weekends" it's a never ending spiral if you have an addiction.
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Urgh burn the exes
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@anonymous well put
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Once I realized I would never be able to moderate my addiction I felt freed
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:49 PM
My wife is great cook, and she'll make this amazing lunch for herself and be like, "do you want a bite?" No, I WANT ALL OF IT. A bite is just a slow torture.
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I can't even moderate my Reddit usage
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I was in AA for a long time...went over a year sober. I used to get really hung up on the number of days sober. But i went to this one meeting where they discussed the celebration of milestones and it was huge for me because this one guy who was sober for 14 years indicated he was at times as close to a drink as he was at day 1. At first I was like "Jesus christ...14 years and he still doesn't feel normal? this is hopeless"
4:50 PM
but instead it was like an epiphany....give up on waiting to feel normal. Accept your addiction issues, its a part of your life. It has to be managed daily.
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Amen to that
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it was huge for me...I like how leaves doesnt have the badge
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Or whatever religious term is applicable to y'all
4:50 PM
Or non religious
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I really like that @dr3w it's a hard truth to swallow but once you accept it you can finally start working on addressing the issues
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:51 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Absolutely. I have 21 years sober now, and the analogy I use is that it's like walking a tightrope. At first you're falling, then you're wobbly, then you walk across no problem. The weird thing is that gravity and the rope haven't changed, you've just gotten better at managing it. If you have an off day you can fall as easily as when you were first starting.
4:52 PM
So you stay ahead of it. Something else you get very good at with time.
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Sobriety is like a plant in that sense. You can plant it and hope it grows but it won't without constant care and attention. You can try to ignore it for a day or two but without constant moderation the plants not going to make it 😔
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Which I why I check in to leaves every day and probably will til I die (edited)
👍 3
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Unless it's a cactus of course.
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Even cacti flower though so 😆
4:53 PM
Just need less love. And have more spikes
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your aa story is amazingly powerful @dr3w thank you for sharing it
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I'm not a little prick though honest 🤥
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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I can't say the same for myself though ^ 😅
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Nice to see everyone @here! Stay strong and have a great rest of your daysn
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I'm gonna head out now, it's been good talking to everyone and i'm really grateful to have this as a part of my daily routine now!
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<3 @anonymous
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:56 PM
Great to see you @anonymous !
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Yeah I'm probably going to go out for a stroll, everyone have a good day and stay strong! Talk to yall later!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:57 PM
Bye @IssaBLR !
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I think I'll go raid the leaves posts 🤷🏼‍♀️ kinda already feel like I'm cheating on there with here 😆
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thanks @everyone
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Quick check in as totally missed the hour 🙈 struggling so much today but managing! Will be back in the next one
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:58 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Although I don't agree with the motivation, I'll take the result. 🙂
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Hang in there @holly 🖤
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 4:58 PM
Hi @holly ! Glad you came, by, even for a minute. Managing is fine. Look forward to seeing you later. 🙂
4:58 PM
Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time today! I'm enjoying these so much, and happy to see new people here! Hope to see each of you soon!
5:00 PM
Glad you're here @dr3w, hope to see you back soon!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Woohoo!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! If this is your first time here, this is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so just jump in!
10:00 PM
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit.
10:00 PM
Now you -- check in and let us know how you're doing with your quit.
10:01 PM
Hey @Ghastles !
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Hey @Moderator -- Subduction! Wow, people really pile in here quick, when you open!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:02 PM
They definitely can!
10:02 PM
Some are still lurking, but I'm happy to have there here no matter what. 🙂
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This is a really dumb question, and I'm pretty sure it's imposdible... but... Are you Adam from Teenhelp?
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:04 PM
Ha! I am not! I hope he's nice.
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honestly, been a while since talking to him (use to be a volunteer in the early 00's) but you seem very similar, motivationwise, and word choice / formatting so had to ask. My Apologies.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:06 PM
No worries. I assume he's handsome as well. I get that a lot.
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hahaha
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:06 PM
Is Teenhelp a sub or an outside group?
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it use to be a pretty big site years ago, but there was an internal split and it fell apart. (drama between mods, fighting about policy)
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So 75 days poison free and saying hello for once
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CONGRATULATIONS!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:08 PM
Hey @75! Congratulations!
10:09 PM
@Ghastles Yeah, that's why I rule with an iron fist.
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haha, dont blame you, either!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:10 PM
Very busy day on r/leaves today. Literally spent evey minute between last session and now on mod stuff. Soo, many people.
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Did you enjoy the post slagging the place off?
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Evening everyone!
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Bondo!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:12 PM
Yeah, a lot of grumpy people today. Broke up a lot of bar fights. "SOMEBODY HAS A CASE OF THE MONDAYS! <tilt head, hands on hips>"
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Evening @IssaBLR
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:13 PM
Hey @IssaBLR !
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I saw the post and it inspired me @M1NDFEEDER I went through and commented on some posts. And no typos so kudos!
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In fairness my post on there is rather ranty but not aimed at anyone but myself and I think that's allowed 😆
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was wondering, are we allowed to make external links to articles, or peer reviewed abstracts, in comments?
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Oh I have the glasses on for my party ahahah @IssaBLR
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:15 PM
We are always allowed to rant about ourselves. Others are a different story.
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I think it was a fair point to make even myself get caught up on the hot posts every so often lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:16 PM
@Ghastles Not usually, no. We aren't really a place for empirical information. We're an emotional support group, where people describe their personal experience and are helped by the personal experience of others. The only experts we want to hear from are Leaves members.
10:17 PM
Plus, if you are you talking about how you feel, no one can argue with that. 🙂
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thats understanable, thank you for the clarity.
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I ended up posting replies on the same members different posts 3 times before I realised they'd probably think I was stalking them. They took it well 😳
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does anyone need any online links to some free tv shows?
10:18 PM
if so, i've got a bunch
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Oh I don't know, I argue with myself a lot
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:18 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I saw that -- it made me laugh.
10:19 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Really appreciate the effort though!
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Lmao there's a fine line between dedication/obsessiveness but I think you're riding it decently! @M1NDFEEDER
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hahaha @IssaBLR
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It was purely accidental. Note to self. Check usernames more often. I mean in the place of shittymorph that should be a natural Instinct anyways 😆
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man, my dogs have beek killing me today
10:22 PM
spent 20 minutes running them, and I was more tired than them after
10:22 PM
feels so great though
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:23 PM
@M1NDFEEDER It's really helpful. We are running very high in posts. I'm going to implement a policy about six comments for every post. 🙂 See above note about RULING WITH AN IRON FIST.
10:23 PM
What kind of dogs @Ghastles ?
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sounds good to me, its hard to run a legit group on reddit, and impossible not to run into aggressive people on the internet
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As in no more than 6 comments are allowed on a post? How will my fans reach me now? 😱😂😂
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@Moderator -- Subduction they are king charles caveliers crossed with dach and pom
10:25 PM
mutts.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:25 PM
Everyone arrives at r/leaves at one of the worst times in their lives so far. People are going to be on their last nerves. That's why we are so particular about the rules.
10:26 PM
People say you can't force people to be nice to each other, but you actually can, and it works pretty well. 🙂
10:26 PM
@Ghastles Those sound adorable
10:27 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol
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oh man...
10:27 PM
this post :/
10:27 PM
are you in here little_piece?
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How's everyone here feeling today? Besides @Ghastles annoyance with his dogs lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:30 PM
@here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Cranky. But have been angry for weeks now. How's yourself? @IssaBLR
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oh yeah
10:30 PM
2 more days on step 2 on the patch
10:30 PM
then 14 more days on step 1
10:30 PM
then i'll be nicotine free
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@M1NDFEEDER i can say you can blame it on the napoleon complex and no one would object lol
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Congratulations @Chickens
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I mean it's true 😆 but being short isn't why I'm angry. It just makes it more comical to witness 😆 @IssaBLR
😁 1
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I'm doing okay though! I'm out for my 5th stroll around the neighborhood. And yes congrats @Chickens !! The nicotine monster is a tough one to conquer.
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Apparently removing the spliff shaped pacifier hasn't helped penchant for tantrums
10:35 PM
Oh I'm so jealous we're limited to one 1 hour walk in the UK a day @IssaBLR
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spliff shaped pacifier
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@M1NDFEEDER just let it all out! As long as you dont get too angry they won't throw you in adult timeout lmao And that's a shame! How do they keep track??
10:37 PM
I unfortunately live in the lesser parts of my city so if they did that there would be absolute mayhem lol
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The Queen has her Corgis trained to attack us
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:38 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I'd alwsy suspected that's how that worked.
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But they don't. It's just monitored by people curtain twitching and grassing you up on Facebook. Makes keeping sane with a drug problem difficult for sure (edited)
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I'm more angry that none of our politicians did anything to save us from this
10:38 PM
but i don't wanna focus on that right now
10:39 PM
in the last few days i've learned that getting angry is self defeating
10:39 PM
all you can do is hope and have faith that things will get better
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:39 PM
<Subduction's finger moves slowly toward the no politics button...>
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sorry @Moderator -- Subduction my bad
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I just watched a montage of a corgi butt walking earlier so I say it would be a cute mauling lmao
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Hi guys! It’s been SUCH a hard day, but knowing I’m checking in here - I haven’t smoked 😄 only day 2 but officially the furthest I’ve got with this in the last 5 years! Yay!
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Yay well done @holly
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Great job @holly that's such an achievement there!
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One does not mock the Queen's Corgis
😆 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:41 PM
Hey @holly! Good to see you!
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My emotions are literally all over the shop, feel sick to my stomach and my hands are sweaty as heck but I’m feeling so positive with all your support! I love this group! I read through most of the chat I missed earlier and you guys are just awesome!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:42 PM
@holly living the dream... 🙂
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@holly that's how it be them first couple of days. Just keep on trooping and it gets better, I swear by my experience so far!
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Just keep doing what you're doing then Holly. The hand sweats were the last withdrawal I had but God it's worth the suffering once you're out of it
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@IssaBLR @M1NDFEEDER I cannot waittt to be past it 😅 it feels like it’s been about a year since Saturday 😂
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Oh yeah your sense of time will be all over right now huh? That also passes @holly days will go back to being 24 hours long instead of 6 months soon
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:48 PM
@M1NDFEEDER It's funny, because time passes so quickly when you're high. Why can't that feeling just stick around through withdrawals?
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@holly it's amazing how that time seems to stretch for so long during the first week or so. It's like a total time shift from not preoccupying your time by smoking. I then thought there was not enough time in the day to when this day will end!?
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@M1NDFEEDER yeah it’s so bad, thankfully it’s nearly 11pm where I am and so far I’ve not had too much affect on sleep so I’ll be conked out after this!
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It's like some evil fucking karmic balance ain't it. Weed whispering: I gave you time flies, NOW SUFFER FOR MONTHS
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Hello everyone
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That's actually just one day but 🤷🏼‍♀️
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That’s how it feels though!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:50 PM
Hi @Deleted User ! Welcome!
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Welcome @Deleted User
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So I've made good progress
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@Deleted User what's up! And that's great to hear how far along are you on the journey?
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Hi @Deleted User ! Glad you’re doing well 🙂
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I used to live in Canada for 2 years and smoked daily, moved back to my own country in August , decided to give up cannabis because it was wasting my time and it cost too much money in Ireland
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Omg a neighbour hi!
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I've probably bought and smoked like three 3.5 grams bags since August but it's a big improvement from smoking an ounce a mo the
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(British)
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Hello Neighbourino
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@Deleted User that’s a massive improvement!! Well done!! @M1NDFEEDER I’m British too!
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I tell you what the worst withdrawal symptom was
10:53 PM
Coughing up phlegm for over a month
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:53 PM
I want you all to know I take back whatever I might have said about the Queens corgis. (too many of you to fight now)
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We're everywhere evil laugh @holly
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@Deleted User my lineage's homeland! American here though lol That is an improvement! I had to do the same before I got to the point where I was at. I smoked an oz a week and managed to get myself to an eighth a week before making the plunge.
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:54 PM
@Deleted User Especially with everyone jumpy over coughs now.
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@IssaBLR that's good to hear man
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@M1NDFEEDER And defend the corgis we shall!
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Too late @Moderator -- Subduction Elizabeth knows now 😆
😆 2
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My lungs feel a lot better now, so I feel safer around the Coronavirus
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:55 PM
@IssaBLR My lineage too, although not since 1634. 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'm going to have to look under my bed for corgis before bed tonight now. 😱
😆 1
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Congratulations @Deleted User ! thats an amazing reduction!
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Thanks everyone
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Dave is such a party ruiner
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I assume this discord is closed at 6pm EST right ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:56 PM
He's very difficult. Most of us are afraid of him.
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@Deleted User what province were you in BTW?
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Dave is here man. 🤦‍♂️
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@Ghastles Ontario
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:56 PM
Yes, we close at 6pm US Eastern time, but reopen at 11am Eastern (UTC-4)
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It's okay @IssaBLR I'll set the Corgis on him. Once they've finished with under your bed...
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Already can’t wait for tomorrow’s chat to open 🙌🏻
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I'll have to visit this discord daily so
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4pm our time @holly 😊
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:58 PM
Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but new faces every single session, it's exciting! I hope we'll see you all back tomorrow!
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Nice meeting everyone 👍
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ooh! thats cool. I'm in Alberta, and ontario feels like a foreign coubtry to me :p
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@M1NDFEEDER thanks - I missed it a couple of times trying to figure out the time difference 🙈 it’s 4-5 and 10-11 our time right?
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 10:58 PM
Oh, so now @M1NDFEEDER is an expert on timezones... 🙂
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Yeah I had the same issue too 😆@holly
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@M1NDFEEDER if I did have nightmares about corgis I wouldn't be surprised now lol
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank you for hosting us tonight! Hope to see everyone @here soon!
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Night guys, so lovely to talk to you all again. Much love 💗
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Well everyone time to hit the dusty trail, have a great day and stay strong!
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Night all 🖤 much love and zero Corgis
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Nighty night
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CORGIS FOR EVERYONE!
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Sleep tight and dont let the corgis bite lmao
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Moderator -- Subduction 27/04/2020 11:00 PM
Okay all, closing the palace gates. See you tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
4:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! We're well into our second week now! If this is your first time here, this is an informal chat, there are no speakers, so even though it moves fast just jump in!
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Good Morning Leavers!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:00 PM
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit. Now you -- check in and let us know how you're doing with your quit.
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hey good morning!!! I'm going strong on day 9!!!
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gm everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:01 PM
Good morning @~*ALiCiA*~ 9 days!
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hey @Ghastles and @Xtreme !!! good to see yall! and heyyyy @Moderator -- Subduction !!!
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i had no cravings the first week but now they are coming up -.-
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:01 PM
Morning @Xtreme !
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@Xtreme ugh thats so annoying!
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great work @~*ALiCiA*~ 9 days huge!
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The nausea is hitting me hard. I threw up dinner on sunday night and then haven;t been able to eat since. I hope it's not something else but I really doubt it.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:02 PM
@Xtreme Yeah, that's what I think about as "your addiction realizing this isn't a break."
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i was driving in LA and im seeing more and more advertising for cannabis products.
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thanks @Ghastles !!!
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billboards, etc
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@Xtreme lol I live like directly across the street from a dispensary
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:03 PM
Oof, sorry @~*ALiCiA*~
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even delivery vehicles with promotional images
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oh lol
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@Xtreme everywhere!! ugh
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:03 PM
I just started a new medication that makes me kind of sick, so I'm with you in spirit, if not the cause.
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I thought I could have weed in my house but it is just so tempting, I have some seeds and I've wanted to grow them
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aww no fun @Moderator -- Subduction
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But I don't know how strong my willpower actually is
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@pomeljamones ugh yeah that sounds difficult
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Its terrible being so close to a dispensary.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:04 PM
Hi @pomeljamones! Good to see you
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maybe grow like herbs and veggies! tho I get the novelty of growing cannabis
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i pass one every time i go to town .and it calls to me.
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Hello
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Good morning everyone! I'm 22 days sober from 10 years smoking with small hiatuses in between.
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@Ghastles I was thinking this morning how I had such a great relationship with one of the guys there, obviously kept me coming back... he was so cute and flirty 😦
4:05 PM
yayyyy!! go @IssaBLR go!!!
4:05 PM
@Ghastles ugh guess I'll just have to frequent the coffee shops instead!!
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another ploy to keep people coming back, use attractive people at the shops
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@Xtreme oh its so real hahahah esp the women they're gorgeous!!!
4:06 PM
get your fantasy fix AND your drug fix lol
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some the women are half naked serving customers.
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you aint lying!
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@pomeljamones I'm was in the exact position, I was going through my office and found a whole case of seeds when I was going to plant them. The thought did pop up in my head, that was one of the rewarding parts of the process imo. But alas I threw them away. :l
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:06 PM
👉 General protocol reminder: Try to keep the channel and the sub separate, both in discussions and usernames. Some people like to keep them separate and it's worth respecting that. (look everybody, I'm modding!)
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thanks @Moderator -- Subduction !!!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ Not really the same as growing herbs and veggies, but uh. I use to make a LOT of oil, and love the making process. Now, I use the exact same process to make herbal tinctures and gel caps
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@~*ALiCiA*~ glad to see you again and I'm sorry about your dinner last night, it never tastes as good the second time. 😔
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oh cool @Ghastles !!!
4:07 PM
hahaha @IssaBLR thanks dude 🙂
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@Ghastles where are you from again man? I can imagine rolling by the dispensary and getting strong urges. I kind of get the feeling by passing by the bars that are still miraculously open around here lol
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wait what?? bars are open????
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it is cool! and its so much more rewarding, becayse i go out and forage, instead of just using scraps and garbage! Its kinda become a really peaceful ritual.
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that sounds like great fun @Ghastles !
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It's weird there closed but still open, this brewery literally a mile away from my house has their inside bar closed but still serve drinks out the outside bar. Because its considered "take out"
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@IssaBLR man, if bars were open right now, i might be in a lot of trouble.
4:11 PM
sorry you have to experience that :(
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ooooh yeah I've see that here too @IssaBLR
4:12 PM
that makes sense
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Lol I quit weed together with alcohol because whenever I used to quit weed I would overindulge in alcohol lol
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The temptations are strong indeed, but I never had the struggles with the dispensaries like you guys had so kudos on that.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:13 PM
Hey @♛KAXA♛ , good to see you...
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incognito Hi 75 days clear yada yada yada
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funny enough, quitting weed made it so much easier to stop drinking alchohol. My housemates all got drunk sunday and I had like 0 urge because I wasnt smoking. I did smoke a couple cigarettes but I didnt enjoy them like I normally would which was a good experience for me to have I think... learned a lot!
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Hey guys
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hey @♛KAXA♛ !!! welcome!
4:13 PM
glad to see ya here
4:13 PM
hey @M1NDFEEDER !!!!
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How are u guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:13 PM
@♛KAXA♛ I had to quit alcohol. When I drank the first think I wanted to do was smoke. To dangerous.
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Yep same
4:14 PM
Vicious cycle
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:14 PM
Hi @M1NDFEEDER , welcome!
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@♛KAXA♛ whats up man! And right I'm the same way, the association was way to strong for me so I've had to limit my alcohol, it was the gasoline and the weed was my spark
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Y'all know it's M1NDFEEDER right?
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:14 PM
@M1NDFEEDER DAMMIT.
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Just doing as I'm told for once 😆
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damn the addiction pathways
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm hyperventilating at your name rn. But since you're still M1NDFEEDER, do you have your glasses?
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@IssaBLR Been wearing them all day 😆 so the answer is
4:16 PM
On my head
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:16 PM
@M1NDFEEDER When you put on your glasses I don't recognize you. You may be Superman.
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Didn't realise you needed separate usernames my bad 😳
4:17 PM
Ahahaha @Moderator -- Subduction
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Ah guys, i report sad news. Yesterday my sister brought me a small 10bag to help with my pain in my tooth as i haven't shared my sobriety with anyone other than this group and my girlfriend but it being offered to me in the open like that was too much to resist, so i am back to day 1 today. I did however immediately feel like shit and like i dissapointed myself the cravings immediately dialed right back to 100 with the all i was experiecning just as it was slowly, very slowly starting to feel small improvements as i approached week 3, so today i come to you on day 1 again. I also wrote down everything i felt in the moment and sent it to my girlfriend and reminded her that when im aching again as i reset my tolerance and my withdrawal once again, to send it me so i can read what i really felt like in the moment and not romantacise it again.
4:18 PM
Threw away 19 days sober 😦
4:18 PM
2 and half days shy of 3 weeks
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Aww man don't worry @Enzo and what you've written may stop that happening again. Chin up, we all started on day 1 and MANY of us slipped 🖤 (edited)
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hey @Enzo so happy you're here though! sounds like you learned a lot from that experience.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:19 PM
@Enzo Well, I'm very glad you came here, and very glad you're talking about it. That bodes well. As the saying goes, "Okay, you've had a lapse. What you do from here will determine if it's a relapse."
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I hated it, like as soon as i inhaled i immediately instantly regretted it and wished the cravings back, the brain is a tricky monster
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I think writing down your feelings to look at later is an excellent idea @Enzo
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@Enzo be gentle with yourself, you are not alone.
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I'm happy you made it @Enzo it's not all a waste now that you got some useful experience and know that you can do it you can.
4:20 PM
And you're never alone you always got us for support man!
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reaches for Michael Jackson album picks up microphone
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“He he”
😆 1
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thats always rough @Enzo , but you did a great thing, by expressing yourself honestly to those around you irl!
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Seriously though, the important thing is you're back on that horse. You can do it @Enzo (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:22 PM
@Enzo Writing your feelings is very important, but so is writing down the actual circumstances that led you there. Your horse can't drink water if it's not by a lake. Did your sister know you were quitting? Did you know she was bringing a bag?
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Just told my partner the next time im craving to send me my rambling as i just wrote what i was feeling like low mood, how i let myself down, how i basically reset 3 weeks of progress for 6 hours of being high, but still had 0 control couldn't make a 10 bag last longer than 6 hours so meh, screw a 3 month break ill take a break till what i feel like for weed is how i feel about brocoli, indifferent, i don't care if i eat it or don't eat it or if it's talked about or shown in a video or a series etc
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absolutely man, You got this!
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No one knew i was quitting, except you guys and my partner so i don't blame her, i could have said oh no thanks i have 3 weeks sober but i just couldn't for whatever reason my brain was like "This is the perfect oppertunity"
4:23 PM
Like i was justifying it, oh you have a really sore mouth and tooth, it's okay this is exceptional circumstance etc, but it was all bullshit i just wanted to smoke and that's it, im an addict after all. (edited)
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does your family, sister, know now?
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:24 PM
@Enzo Totally understandable, and there's no blame to be had even if she did know. We have to make ourselves resilient to our environment, and that will always include other people.
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Nah, only my partner i don't wanna tell people im quitting "Again" when i have "Quit" well over 50 or more times at this point, and each time i get 2 or 3 weeks deep i smoke and reset and it's happened consistently for years. Trying to figure out why i was on such a good streak this time, longer than any in a while
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i've always found it harder when you tell other people you're quitting
4:25 PM
it's too embarrassing if i then relapse
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^^ that's how i feel
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I agree @hydeta people take it as a joke after awhile which makes it worse
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in some cases is important to let people around you know your intent, so they can help create a supportive enviroment for you.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:25 PM
I know a guy who relapsed on alcohol after two years because an event he went to was unexpectedly open bar. "But it was free man, free." He hadn't prepared for that scenario.
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It's a tricky one. Can add pressure. Also adds support 🤷🏼‍♀️
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plus there's also some ted talk out there about how you're less likely to succeed in your goals if you tell other people, because they congratulate you for quitting and your brain experiences some of the reward of quitting then and there
4:26 PM
making you less likely to follow through
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That's why I keep my temptation close by
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may I pm you quickly @M1NDFEEDER ?
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Do not recommend it
4:26 PM
Yes @Ghastles
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:27 PM
It's a balance. I waited weeks before telling my family. People don't know how to react, and when you're just starting out you are very vulnerable to outside stressors. Loved ones are usually the biggest.
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Hi guys. Day 3 yay!
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I had managed to fight off ringing the dealer, spending any money at all even when it was "Spare" money aka weed money but i didn't plan for a surprise visit or gift of weed and it was irrasistable to say no too, i didn't even have a grinder either so even making the spliff was exhausting lol
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Yay well done @holly 🥳
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:28 PM
I waited until I was ready to accept their help if they helped, but strong enough to handle it if they didn't.
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Ayeee I’m glad to hear it @holly 🙂
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I've only told my wife and my close friends which thankfully are abstaining from smoking too. I dont even think my dad ever knew I smoke so that would be the shocker for him or maybe not with my stoner self lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:28 PM
Great @holly!
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@holly congratulations!!!
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my 2 best friends cut me off, they are hardcore smokers
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Congrats so far @holly 😄
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known them both for 15+ years
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I’ve only told a couple of my close pals who I smoke with a lot, they’re being really supportive which is nice but I’m worried about post lockdown the temptation will be so strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:30 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Thanks everyone 🙂 @Enzo don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re still here and trying again 🙌🏻
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Sometimes a part of the weed journey is outgrowing more than just the habit. It's the people attached too
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Hit 2 weeks clean and finally have stopped having the sweats! Thank you guys for your support these last few weeks x
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@M1NDFEEDER it's sad when they ask why you're hanging with them less
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Just remember it's illegal and the Queen does not approve @holly
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conrratulayions @holly
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:31 PM
Good to see you @Deleted User
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Cheers Sub! You too broski
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Ayeeee @Deleted User how you doin?
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@Xtreme that’s one of the worst parts about this journey :/
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And congrats man!!!!
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Hey Bond! Hope you’re well, I’m doing good bro!
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@M1NDFEEDER oh for sure, I might start singing the national anthem when I get a craving to remind myself 😂
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Thanks so much
4:32 PM
Bit of Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau ❤️
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@hydeta least yours noticed... Some of mine are probably still thinking were still friends... 😳
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haha i guess its bittersweet
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🎵think of them sober gains, and the withdrawal pains, god save the Queeeeen🎵 that can be our sober anthem @holly
😆 2
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@M1NDFEEDER Brilliant 😂 I will genuinely be singing that all night now
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My biggest goal for me rn is becoming a friend with myself and not be the a-hole that likes to drug me
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Be thankful it wasn't Michael Jackson I sang 😆 I'll shush now
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@M1NDFEEDER that's going on my workout playlist, such an inspiring song! I'll need another rendition soon so dont get comfy 😂
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:37 PM
@IssaBLR That is hard. It will likely be a lifelong struggle I think. But as you generate more evidence in favor of yourself it gets easier. 🙂
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some of MJ us really good!
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hey @everyone sorry been a busy work day today.
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@Ghastles Loved him in the Jackson 5
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:38 PM
Hey @dr3w , good to see you
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To be fair I’ve been listening to man in the mirror a lot the last couple of days!
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@dr3w Hey man, hope you’re well
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Hey @dr3w hope you’re doing good!
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i love how the scooby dew band is based on jackson 5
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@dr3w I'm glad to see you again!
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"ascott 5"
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thanks all doing better today than yesterday. Had to work for it though. Reading through the chat now to catch up...
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@Ghastles wait... what
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My biggest goal for me rn is becoming a friend with myself and not be the a-hole that likes to drug me
@IssaBLR that so much. And @holly I think I may go listen to that actually. Hmmm relates to me (so much for shushing 🤭)
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Will be back for the check in tonight, i think that routine helped me keep myself accountable even if i fail, ill try and always check in just to let you know im still sober if anything
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if anyone needs someone to talk to today, I'm stationed at my computer for the most part all day...just working and keeping kids engaged in their zoom classes.
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@M1NDFEEDER it’s hella fitting!! I’ve found it so motivating 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:42 PM
Great @Enzo, one, day, sometimes one hour at a time... 🙂
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hello guys. day 206 here. also its my bday:)
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Congratulations and happy birthday @Phaxxy !
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:43 PM
Hi @Phaxxy, happy birthday! Fellow late April baby myself. That makes us awesome.
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Oh happy birthday 🥳 @Phaxxy
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thanks yall!
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@Phaxxy that’s so impressive and Happy birthday 😊
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@dr3w I might take you up on that if thats okay!
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Great @Enzo, one, day, sometimes one hour at a time... 🙂
@Moderator -- Subduction thats all it is haha
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@holly absolutely! PM me after
4:45 PM
happy birthday @Phaxxy
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thanks homie
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Has anyone seen the movie thanks for sharing? It’s about addiction in general but I would recommend it to anyone anyway!! V powerful film, I found 🤷🏼‍♀️ they use that saying a lot in it which is what made me think of it
4:46 PM
One day at a time, I mean
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well... I think im gonna take a dhovel and metsal detector to where tgey dump all tge road snow, and try my luck. Have a great day evetyone! STAY STRONG!
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@dr3w thank you! I will
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@Ghastles be safe dude
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Have a good one @Ghastles 🖤
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Have a great day @Ghastles
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:46 PM
Thanks @Ghastles , see you soon!
4:47 PM
@holly I haven't seen it, I'll put it on the list...
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oooh I'm going to add that to my list @holly how did you stream it?
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@Moderator -- Subduction awesome! You won’t regret it, it can be a little raw but it’s beautiful too, and life is both of those things anyway
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HAPPY BIRTHDAAYYYY @Phaxxy !!! and congrats !!!
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I have the DVD @~*ALiCiA*~ - sorry can’t help, will see if I can figure out where it’s available!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ good to see you! how you been?
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no worries! I'll look it up! @holly
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How are your eyes @~*ALiCiA*~ any more improvements?
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I've been doing great!! On day 9!!
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congrats dude
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@M1NDFEEDER not only are my eyes brighter but my skin looks incredible?? not sure if thats related to it but I haven't really changed anything diet wise and I've always drank a ton water
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@~*ALiCiA*~ hydro homie gang haha
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only symptoms I'm having are straight up nausea and phantom pains
4:50 PM
hell yeah!! DRINK WATER YALL!!!
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Aww hell yes! @~*ALiCiA*~ mine improved too although not amazingly cos I already had shit skin 🤷🏼‍♀️
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well hey! I'll take it! that's enouigh to keep me from not smoking haha
4:51 PM
at this rate anyways
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@~*ALiCiA*~ my nausea the last 2 days has been almost unbearable. For someone who loves their food, all I’ve managed to eat is a crumpet and about 6 hula hoops today 😂
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Ginger tea and ginger ale I have heard help with nausea...
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haha @holly awww I know the feeling!! I brought out the grill sunday for my housemates and ended up not keeping it down. Today and yesterday I haven't been able to eat. ughhh I'm sure it will pass
4:52 PM
oooh I should get some @M1NDFEEDER good call
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I miss crumpets. They're always sold out in Tesco now shakesfists
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@Phaxxy Happy Birthday Bro!!! Let's celebrate by taking some water shots 💧
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@IssaBLR cheers ill drink to that lmao
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I'll take a shot of Yazoo I don't like water 🤮
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not gonna lie, my southern ass had to look up what a crumpet is.
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@M1NDFEEDER Check any local mini Sainsbury’s!! The ones around me aaaalways have crumpets!
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lolol
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@~*ALiCiA*~ strangely I heard coke helps with nausea as well.
4:53 PM
As in coca cola not the white substance. 😂
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We don't have a sainsburys 😭😭 @holly
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@IssaBLR hmmm I think we might have some diet coke lol
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FLAT cola
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UGH diet coke
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warm cola mmmmm
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But caffeine is poison a little bird told me
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hahahaha @dr3w I'm well aware....
4:54 PM
yeah +1 on caffiene is bad
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@dr3w it's like my ONE vice ok!!! we're all a little more basic than we like to admit 😉
4:54 PM
hahaha
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I love nicotine 🤷🏼‍♀️ shoot me
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i noticed the withdrawals are way worse if I drink the same amount of coffee I was drinking while smoking all the time
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@hydeta cola that's been sitting in a car on a summer day, that's what hits the spot. 😂
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Caffeine is acidic so for stomach problems it’ll just worsen it
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@~*ALiCiA*~ preaaach 🙌🏻😬
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oh interesting @dr3w
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@dr3w my hands sweat now if i drink caffeine lol
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#teamgingerale
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Coke Zero for me
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that IS where it's at tho @M1NDFEEDER
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And salty carby crap apparently
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but of course
4:55 PM
@holly
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ima head out. love you guys, be safe
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ive been big ont he la croix because I'm an alcoholic too lol
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bye @Phaxxy !!! good to see ya!! happy birthday!
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Zofran is an antiemetic so it’ll do wonders for Nausea but where I’m from you need a dr to prescribe it.
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Honestly a big thing I miss about the south is cherry wine soda.
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@dr3w OMG SAME!!!
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Enjoy your birthday @Phaxxy
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Worth a shot if it’s debilitating
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Bye @Phaxxy - enjoy the rest of your day!
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Have a good one @Phaxxy !
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@Papa Johns I think I have some actually
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@~*ALiCiA*~ yeah it’ll do wonders for you. Take care everyone
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love yall! talk to ya later!
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Take care @Papa Johns !
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 4:58 PM
Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but remember that we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! Hope to see each of you soon!
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10pm UK time 😆
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Bye for now everyone!
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thanks @everyone if anyone feels like ranting to me and chatting about crap PM me, feels good to discuss stuff
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that hour still flies by lol, have a good day and stay strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 5:00 PM
Okay, closing up so I can take my crumpets out of the oven. See you at 5!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
10:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! We're well into our second week now! If this is your first time here, this is an informal chat, so even though it moves fast just jump in!
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Hey everyone
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:00 PM
heyo
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Hey all.
10:01 PM
Day 4 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @yames , hi @Darknet Shrimp Merchant, welcome! Hello @Katelyn
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i always find it kinda funny, r/leaves helps me with my cravings so much when i am craving, but if im not craving and see a post it sometimes completely triggers me
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Slept 3 hours last night but I can't imbibe even if I want to right now
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:02 PM
im on day 2 of my like 4th time quitting and so far its the easiest. something just clicked and i was like nah not anymore
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:02 PM
@hydeta That's a good moment to help other people. Helping them with their situation reminds you of why yours is so important
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I've been on and off for a couple of weeks
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:03 PM
That's good to here @Darknet Shrimp Merchant But do prepare for when it clicks back again. 🙂
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I second that...
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:03 PM
Our habits are sneaky little mf'ers
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I can relate
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:04 PM
for sure. i still have cravings but theyre easy for me to beat this time
10:04 PM
just horrible dry mouth and nightmares
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that’s great - sounds empowering. I tried to quit a few times and something about this most recent time felt different
10:05 PM
like I was really ready or something. As if I wasn’t before. Who knows!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:05 PM
im cautiously optimistic, not gonna let my guard down though
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thanks for the tip @Moderator -- Subduction ! hitting 3 weeks tomorrow
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:06 PM
That's why I've never liked the term "rock bottom," like you need to be ruined before you stop. You need to make a decision. I like "turning point" better I think. Once that decision is really made, at least you know what you have to do.
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@Moderator -- Subduction totally, and should you relapse, it’s probably not great to frame it as a return to “rock bottom”
10:08 PM
we gotta be kinder to ourselves than that
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gotta not spend too much time regretting
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:09 PM
Yup, as the saying goes, if you have a lapse, it's what you do next that determines whether it's a relapse.
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I'd happily let Dwayne Johnson rock bottom me
10:10 PM
76 days free and still weird 🥳
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:11 PM
i look forward to having that many days, can't wait to be myself again
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:11 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I see 76 days is agreeing with you.
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oh hayyyyy!!! 9 days going strong!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:11 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant How long did you smoke for?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:11 PM
about 9 yearsa
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:11 PM
Hey @~*ALiCiA*~ !
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It's not I'm fucking depressed but I'm still going 🤷🏼‍♀️ that's all that matters right 😰@Moderator -- Subduction
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anyone a warhammer 40k fan?
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I'm about to go take a walk but wanted to say hey! ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:12 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I smoked for about ten -- it's a good run, but time to move on.
10:13 PM
Hey @misheel welcome!
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whats good man
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:13 PM
yes. i feel like i haven't matured since i've started. that eats at me a bit. im 26 and living at home, but im saving a lot and going back to college
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:13 PM
@misheel How's your quit going?
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Threw out my weed last night. Half an ounce + grinder + vape
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Enjoy the fresh air and nice skin @~*ALiCiA*~ 🖤
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solid as fuck
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:13 PM
Glad you came by @~*ALiCiA*~
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had a bit of a rough patch yday but i absolutely relish the pain of not smoking
10:14 PM
knows im doing something right
10:14 PM
a bit masochistic but it works for me
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:14 PM
@. Day 1, good for you. Awesome.
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a bit masochistic but it works for me
@misheel relate
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saw a good post on r/leaves that summed it up about a poor guy's dog that died
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:15 PM
all things worth doing are uncomfortable i think
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smoking to cope with the pain and grief and sadness is almost like disrepecting the love that you had for your dog?
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:15 PM
@. How long have you smoked for?
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sorry if it came out badly but
10:15 PM
its good to feel those things because it means you care
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@Moderator -- Subduction are you planning on leaving this chat open in the future?
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:16 PM
@Xtreme That's my hope. It's a whole new mod staffing challenge, bbut we'll rise to it.
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@Moderator -- Subduction thanks! For 3-4 years I think. Don't know, it's kind of hazy :/
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:16 PM
lol, strange how that happens @. 🙂
10:16 PM
Anyway, sun is rising so off for a walk
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:17 PM
@. Sun is rising? You must be far away from me...
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:18 PM
i think the worst part is the fog clearing and seeing the mess i've made
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:19 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Yes, definitely, but getting that sorted will be part of the satisfaction of recovery. Try to be proud as you go.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:19 PM
i know i'll be better for it, just wish I could go back and make the right choices. all i can do is make the right choices now
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It's the forgiveness of past mistakes I can't do 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:21 PM
@misheel That's a good way to put it. To bring down the room more... 🙂 My sister died six years ago, and I'm endlessly grateful I was sober. Had to live through it clean, but the regrets would have been worse if I'd been high.
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To really kill the mood, part of the reason I'm doing this is as I have a terminally ill family member I need to be present for. Sucks but that's life right?
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:22 PM
We're fun.
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Should I sing again?
10:23 PM
But the postive is
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:23 PM
definitely better to be sober. that's a lot to process, and weed does not help
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Sober minds are better equipped to deal with everything. And feeling is part of being human
10:23 PM
Good and bad.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:23 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Yeah, being there is the important thing. It makes it much (like...much) easier after their gone when you know you did everything you could do. When you're high, you're not there.
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Chasing a 5 minute high didn't help
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when im high i dont care.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:24 PM
that's exactly why I don't like being high. all it does is numb, it doesn't fix anything
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i feel, one of the biggest catalysts in me finally comitting to getting sober was realizing that between all of my family members we have about 1.5k in savings
10:24 PM
i need to carry my own weight and be a human being again
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And digs the hole deeper @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:24 PM
exactly
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:24 PM
@Xtreme It's one of the product benefits listed right on the box.
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i know successful people who smoke everyday, i'm just not one of them.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:24 PM
feeling discomfort means you're about to grow
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Cool might make it to 5ft4!
😆 1
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i know successful people who smoke everyday, i'm just not one of them.
@Xtreme immense self awareness to realize this
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I don't like depressing everyone...
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i realized it as well
10:25 PM
i love weed too much to be the guy that does it in moderation
10:25 PM
so i gotta let it go
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:25 PM
it's a support group, no one expects happy stories
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What's people's things they want from sobriety? Any "now I can do that's?"
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:26 PM
That's the problem with weed, it's not an atomic bomb, it's death by a thousand cuts.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:26 PM
actually having meaningful relationships instead of being burnt out on the couch
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i love to read, i started not remembering what i was reading.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:26 PM
succeeding in college (my 2nd attempt)
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Yeah re connection will be nice after you know covid is done
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i was spending LOTS of money on weed instead of investing in myself/future.
10:27 PM
i was actually hording weed, not even smoking it, just having a huge stockpile.
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Hey all, still gutted i broke my streak yesterday, but i'm still sober. Having full blown intense cravings again but i expected that as i basically reset, at least i know things do improve, even the dissociation slowly, slowly starts improving
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:28 PM
With 21 years behind me, I can tell you that couldn't imagine where my life could go. Not like "wow it's going to be great" can't image, but like I literally did not have the ability or awareness to imagine it.
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Hey @Enzo least you're still going today 🖤
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i was listening to music that was about weed. my jokes were about weed. my free time was weed.
10:28 PM
it was consuming me.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:28 PM
yeah a lot of stoners have their personality centered around weed only
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:28 PM
Glad you're back @Enzo . Did you smoke between last session and now?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:28 PM
like a nug with thumbs
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Nope, still sober 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:29 PM
Then look at you go -- you're racking up wins already.
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Gotta say though my brain is already like "Well you smoked might aswell go hit up your man tomorrow and buy an 8ths, but i will try not too
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Tell your brain to bugger off
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@Enzo stay strong friend.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:30 PM
That's not your brain...
10:30 PM
That's your addiction. Different animals entirely.
10:31 PM
Your brain is the one fighting that voice.
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Even at just shy of 3 weeks though it was constantly a thought in my mind was weed, but at least the dissociation had eased in the mornings.
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:31 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
10:32 PM
@Enzo How are you filling in the blanks in your life left by not smoking?
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Now back to square 1, but with more insight and a fresh reminder of how terrible it felt to smoke after i romantacised it for such a long period Just trying to Pass year 2 at Uni to be honest, i have stuff due in every other day until the 30th of may
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Hey hey everyone! I'm 22 days strong after 10 years of smoking!
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but can't even play any video game's there is nothing i want to play and anything i turn on i become bored of or it's just un-enjoyable within 5 minutes 😦
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:33 PM
@IssaBLR wooohoo!
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Well done and hi @IssaBLR
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@Enzo wow i started feeling the same
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:33 PM
maybe you never really enjoyed it
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everything that brought joy started to be bland.
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Hello again everyone
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Do you have your glasses @M1NDFEEDER ? And what's up again @Deleted User !
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👋🏻 @Deleted User
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Used to game before smoking and never gamed while smoking, it's just nothings enjoyable really, most joy i get is my pain pills from my doctor for my tooth at least i forget about the weed craving for an hour
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:34 PM
@Enzo Makes total sense, but keep trying to find things. If the only thing you're replacing your habit with is work work work then whenever you want a break your mind is going to go back to weed. You need to find some other recreation that keeps it engaged.
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Fraid not @IssaBLR too grumpy to care you can all deal with the typos 🤦🏼‍♀️
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I took up cycling when I gave up weed
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:35 PM
Hey @IssaBLR , hey @Deleted User ! Good to see you!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:35 PM
kayak fishing is so much fun, i actually used to refuse to smoke before going because it would just ruin it
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Cycling is funner than walking, you can explore new areas easily on a bike
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Oye will be a rough evening but I think we can manage. @M1NDFEEDER
10:36 PM
@Deleted User right? I managed to get to downtown from where I'm at in 10 mins and it was cool being able to get there so fast.
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its funny you bring cycling up, i was looking at some road bikes.
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@IssaBLR the feeling of wind blowing by you when speeding down a hill is amazing
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i live in west los angeles, so it would be nice to explore on a bike. i just fear getting hit. lol
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I never fished in a kayak but I bet it's so peaceful.
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Cycling up a 350 mountain was the hardest workout I had ever done
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:37 PM
@IssaBLR very, especially early morning when the water is placid
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But the ride down was thrilling
10:38 PM
And it got my mind off of weed
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meditation/yoga every morning has been helping me
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Plus I'm burning off the munchies I stockpiled in my gut lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:39 PM
@Xtreme My sister lived in NYC and decided to get a bike and was worried about being hit, but the first day she went out she, and I promise you this is true, hit a car and two people. She put the bike away after that. It makes me burst out laughing every time I think about it.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:39 PM
reading is good too, i can actually pay attention instead of reading 20 pages and having no clue what happened
👍 4
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:41 PM
@Deleted User I have a similar stockpile of munchies but I haven't smoked for 21 years. Can't figure it out. Long term withdrawal I guess.
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21 years wow
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Ah new GSL season for Starcraft 2 is out, perfect something i can sink some hours into watching in bed keeping myself distracted
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:42 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction how long did it take for you to feel normal?
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I do miss some of the vivid dreams though
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21 years is amazing
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:42 PM
i have way more vivid dreams when im not smoking
10:43 PM
its insane
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:44 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant It's hard to say, I'm not sure my experience was typical. Although weed was my mainstay I was using all kinds of drugs at the time, and went to rehab. So I had medical support as well. Probably six months, I'd guess. But I was in outpatient for a year.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:44 PM
i see. good for you
10:44 PM
cigarettes is my next quit
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:45 PM
On leaves it's all over the place. Many people say 30 days, some people say six months. But it's hard to tell for long term smokers what "normal" is.
10:46 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant r/stopsmoking is great, check them out.
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Especially if you weren't "normal" to start with...
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:46 PM
oh i have hahah, i've tried so many things
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What's normal anyways?
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Happy? 🤷🏼‍♀️wouldn't know 😆
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@Moderator -- Subduction that story about your sister is hilarious though, sorry for the late response I'm posting up the position on the grill.
👍 1
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My very first and only successful quit attempt it took me about 3 months to feel "Normal" where weed wasn't on my mind 24/7 and i wasn't randomly crying or extremely depressed, and that was when i was a light smoker compared to now, but to be honest it's very individual
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:47 PM
It's tough, sometimes you're not ready to feel happiness when it comes, but it happens.
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@IssaBLR u got that George Foreman grill up in here?
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Bruh George foreman dont have nothing on me @Deleted User 💪lmao
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I'm just trying to steal everyone's joy from leaves like a succubus. Not working
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:49 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Not working! 🙂
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Cause you bring everyone joy! And that's been working! @M1NDFEEDER
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Urgh I'm dark tonight. I'm out. Hopefully back to normal tomorrow. Night and good Corgi dreams
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:50 PM
good night, tomorrows a new day
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:50 PM
Okay @M1NDFEEDER sleep well. the morning is always a reset.
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Good night and talk to you tomorrow! @M1NDFEEDER
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im so gutted i threw away as long as i did, and i keep going over it and how i feel and how i basically reset all the cravings and hard work, but im just trying to remind myself it's a learning experience, even though i have done this like 50 times now
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@Enzo how long was your streak
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17 days nearly 18 days last night around 7pm i blasted through a 10's in about 6 hours 😦 (edited)
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10 grams!?
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@Enzo it is a learning experience. You're still so young man and the work you're putting in now will help out in the future. If you learn from every reset and apply it to the next time its bound to work out. Just have to put in that work to make it happen!
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i understand you feel shitty about that, i would too, but in my experience you shouldnt beat yourself up about it too much. it wouldnt be enough to completely reset your withdrawals. Think about it another way. U went 17 days without and 1 day where you slipped up. Now if you keep going, in 30 days that will still be 47 days sober out of 48
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durr, missed it! Hope everyone is doing great!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:56 PM
@Enzo Our reaction to relapsing is amazing though, right? That we want to use it as an excuse to hit it again? We're like "I can't believe I just cut off my finger. Well, I might as well just cut off all my other fingers now."
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its all a road to recovery man its not linear bro
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:56 PM
@Ghastles glad you slipped in at least!
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Yeh, that's what im battling now too, just like well you screwed it up might aswell just get blasted 24/7 again
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haha @subduction, thats a pretty perfect analogy <3
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hopefully the cravings just feel so intense cos i slipped and it's easier than im expecting, im expecting the wrost of the worst withdrawals again with The dissociation in 24/7 order and not just being milder during the mornings. I guess only time will tell
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What's up @Ghastles glad to see you again for a bit!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:58 PM
@Enzo Yup, don't look up, don't look down. Just get through this day and this hour and this minute.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 28/04/2020 10:58 PM
dinner time, talk to you all tomorrow
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I'm heading out now folks, talk to you guys tomorrow! Stay safe and stay strong!
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@IssaBLR Just got back from a km hike!
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 10:59 PM
Glad you made it @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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have a great night guys! see you tomorrow!
10:59 PM
*10km
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Good night/evening all, ill try check in tomorrow at 4pm
11:00 PM
4pm my time is when the discord unlocks 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 28/04/2020 11:00 PM
Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern time tomorrow. So happy to see new people every day! Hope to see each of you soon!
11:00 PM
Glad you came by @Enzo
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Thanks for the encouragement, take care
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ Welcome, we'll be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
4:00 PM
Welcome to Leaves Lounge! We're well into our second week now! If this is your first time here, this is an informal chat, so even though it moves fast just jump in!
4:01 PM
I'll start the check-ins: I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit. Now you -- say hello let us know how you're doing with your quit...
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Hi @everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:01 PM
Hi @dr3w ! Good to see you
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I'm doing okay...frustrations a little bigger today but its fueled from stupid shit at work. I went for a 4 mile run this morning just becuase I knew this was coming, its helping keep the edge off and me not lose my shit on my kids when they don't want to do their zoom meetings.
4:02 PM
I will do whatever it takes to remain sober today
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Good morning!! I'm on day 10! still going strong. was able to eat a little last night.
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Good morning @everyone, Is everyone staying strong?
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Good morning @Moderator -- Subduction and @dr3w
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:03 PM
@dr3w The great part about that is that those sound like "normal," non-addict problems. Remember those? 🙂
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and hey @Ghastles @@
4:03 PM
!!
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thats great @~*ALiCiA*~!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:03 PM
Hi @Ghastles , @~*ALiCiA*~ !
4:04 PM
Day 10!
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hey @dr3w gosh thats a lot going on!!
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congratulations on making it to day 10! what was your furst meal?
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@dr3w happy youre here, this daily chat has definitely been a huge part in why I've been able to make it to day 10
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Morning @Moderator -- Subduction @dr3w
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@Ghastles I've been able to eat previously but the past couple days have been hard. ended up just snacking on some turkey and hummus
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@~*ALiCiA*~ you finding things are getting a little easier at day 10?
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yes absolutely @dr3w
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I'm hungry. Hi day 76? Less dark today WOO 🙄😆
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every day felt different but they've all gradually been better
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Hummus is so good! Sorry to hear the last couple of days were hard, but am glad you're back to being able to eat
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what else have you been doing that you're finding helps?
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amazing @M1NDFEEDER
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@dr3w honestly taking walks and like getting up and leaving my immediate surroundings when I'm craving it or having like a manic/moody moment because I'm craving it. I saw you went on a run this AM. last week I was cooking more elaborate meals or baking to give myself something to do. Reading books has helped but I understand with kids it might be a bit different for you. I'm also working too so that takes up some of my time but leaves me anxious. I've been doing yoga sporadically and breathing exercises when I get worked up.
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/me walks 6 feet behind @M1NDFEEDER hoisting sunlight above her wherever she goes
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thanks @Ghastles ❤️
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eh... no /me on discord?
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hey @M1NDFEEDER !!!! ❤️
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i thought this was IRC backended
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sounds like you;re doing a lot of the same stuff I am doing @~*ALiCiA*~
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what day are you on again @dr3w ??
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Day 4 @~*ALiCiA*~
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I was about to type that I felt like day 3 and 4 were the worst.
4:10 PM
it did get better though!! it really has
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Oh man. Day for was so bad for me
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yeah i was better yesterday, today I'm feeling a little more moody
4:11 PM
i"m trying to set myself up to take the afternoon off from work and bring the kids fishing
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but it was so worth getting through!
4:11 PM
that sounds great @dr3w
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oooh fishing would be great
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:12 PM
I took a fly fishing class and it was the. most. fun.
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yeah like I'm in a space now where I feel like if I smoked, it wouldn't be enjoyable at this point.
4:13 PM
oooh @Moderator -- Subduction i've ALWAYS wanted to try it
4:13 PM
but I still crave the tactile habit of it thats for sure
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ive never understood why people quit temporarily for "tolerence" whenever i quit and relapse days later, smoking feels absolutely horrible, terrifying, and sickrning
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lol I used to do that and honestly like within a few days I'd be back at my previous tolerance
4:15 PM
but I had no intentions of actually quitting till now
4:15 PM
@dr3w how long of a time were you previously smoking?
4:15 PM
@Ghastles what day are you on?
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6 today, this time. But... theres something different about it.. it will be the last time.
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@totalcareer girl I've been a daily smoker since I was 18-19...but I've had quite a few spurts of sobriety. I went a little over a year, i relapsed back in October and been on a slow downward spiral. virus related challenges sent me off the deep end, so here I am now at day 4 trying to get it back together
4:17 PM
I'm an alcoholic too...and I'm wishing i could goto AA meetings because it helped me be better aware of the mechanisms that work for me. This chat and talkin to people through out the day helps tremendously.
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Hey guys!
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hey @holly 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:18 PM
Hi @holly!
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oh god that's all so understandable. I totally relate. I'm in recovery/program too and not going to my weekly meetings has been detrimental to my well being. This quarantine wears so heavily on the body. Our body and mind is literally in survival mode.
4:19 PM
hey @holly !!!
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though.... im pretty worried about covid. The dispenseraries are open, so i could go buy if i wsnted to (i wont) but there arent many people around. so its relatively stree free I worry when the lockdown ends, everyone is gonna be outside, smoking, partying, getting generslly screwed up. .. and then it, and other addiction stressors are going to be EVERYWHERE
4:20 PM
and i have no way to practise or prepare for that
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@Ghastles I'm terrified of the temptations I'm going to face once this is all over. The desire and need for indulgence and external validation is SO FUCKING HIGH right now. It's like I'm going to have to keep myself locked up for longer.
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@Ghastles I can't stop thinking about going to the bars and partying and getting into trouble. Like I fantasize about it and it's just so unhealthy.
4:23 PM
how are you feeling today @holly
4:24 PM
hoping I'll be able to continue reaching out and engaging with others in recovery and get back to my weekly meetings
4:24 PM
I've never been this sober in my life and I feel incredible and I want to keep it that way
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am so sorry you are experiencing that, and totally understand @~*ALiCiA*~ . Every time i drive past a closed bar, I look longingfully at it, and wish i was inside pounding whiskey sours.
4:26 PM
know that its unhealthy as hell, but i can like taste the sweet sourness, hear the people around me talking, visualise the tender serving me
4:28 PM
but i feel the same as you too. Have never been this sober, and dont want it to chsnge
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@~*ALiCiA*~ you’re doing brilliantly, if you want to keep it that way try and focus on that!! I’m okay, was struggling a lot earlier to day but was PMing @dr3w and he helped a lot! Like you guys say it really helps to talk to people about it! I’m also happy for anyone to PM me if they want to talk by the way!
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Well done for hanging in there @holly lass. Not all days are easy 🖤 (edited)
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Thanks @M1NDFEEDER - I really thought I was going to cave today, but I’m feeling stronger now
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that's great @holly !! reaching out to others is paramount for recovery in my opinion
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@M1NDFEEDER "The only easy day was yesterday"
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thanks @Ghastles glad to know someone else feels the same things... right like give me a different kind of chaos PLEASE
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:31 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Made a real win there @holly absolutely @Ghastles
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sorry, im filled with all sorts of cliche quotes 😛
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I'm full of chicken and stuffing sandwich right now. Yum
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:33 PM
There are so many "sayings" in the recovery community. It's like an oral history. 🙂 (edited)
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gm everyone
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btw, I love your collection of handwritten inspirational quotes, @M1NDFEEDER You did an amazing thing by creating those.
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:35 PM
Good morning @Xtreme !
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what led you to that? how did you find them? how did you choose which were 'worthy' of being written down and preserved?
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honestly a lot of those quotes turn into like an internal monologue and it's so beneficial!!
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good morning @Xtreme !
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good morning @Xtreme !! how are you feeling today?
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better, dreams still vivid as hell.
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@~*ALiCiA*~ thats a very good point!
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@Xtreme oooh yeah. what day are you on ?
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The ones that spoke to me. The ones that changed a mood. Or captured a moment or feeling I couldn't articulate myself. I like words 🤷🏼‍♀️ typing is hard though 😆
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hell yeah! @Xtreme !!!
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Hello
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hello @pomeljamones !! how are you doing today!?
4:41 PM
how are ya feeling I should ask?
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:41 PM
Hi @pomeljamones , welcome!
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It's been a nice week, my mood has actually gotten better
4:42 PM
But this dealers come up with promos and stuff, I don't have the cravings bt I just think about doing it just once again
4:42 PM
the good thing is that I came out clear to my family about my addiction and it feels like a weight out of my shoulders
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@pomeljamones good job telling your family thats important but so freaking hard
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:43 PM
@pomeljamones What do you think about deleting the dealers' contacts and blocking them?
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thats great @pomeljamones !! totally understand those urges though.... ugh
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Hello everyone again
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:44 PM
Hey @Deleted User , good to see you
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Yes, I will do, it is the best thing, I just keep fantazing about going back to smoke
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hey @Deleted User glad to see ya!
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@pomeljamones don't we all
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if I have them on my media
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@pomeljamones ugh thats so real
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It's harder to give up when all of your friends are smokers
4:45 PM
Like at least if you're on a low sugar diet, you're not affected as much when your friends eat junk
4:45 PM
No such thing as second hand sugar ingestion
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Ah but social isolation does provide a break from these people to rationalise that stopping is more powerful than continuing no?
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@M1NDFEEDER of course
4:47 PM
But when it comes to group activities, it will be hard to find one that doesn't involve smoking
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I wouldn't worry about next months problem just yet
4:47 PM
If we're that lucky 😆
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Well there is a shortage of cannabis here in Ireland now
4:48 PM
Due to the current situation, prices have gone up, maybe people who have problems with it might realize it's a bad habit that's costly
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Or plain old run out of cash 🤷🏼‍♀️
4:49 PM
Be a lot of people getting an unintended drug break soon I imagine
4:49 PM
Least we're ahead of the curve
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Let's hope they don't confuse their symptoms of cannabis withdrawal for Coronavirus symptoms
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very true @M1NDFEEDER !
4:50 PM
ooof also true @Deleted User
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Like I know people who believe there is no such thing as weed addiction
4:50 PM
" it's a plant, it's natural, you can't get addicted "
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Like I don't know about the rest of youse
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or "theres no negative health affects of quitting cold turkey"
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But the flu like symptoms I had and the constant coughing of cannabis withdrawal could easily be confused with an infection in these current times
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Well my mood is still in the toilet so farewell til next time leavers 👋🏻
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@M1NDFEEDER see ya
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haha bye @M1NDFEEDER !! see ya later
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hugs @M1NDFEEDER
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:52 PM
Well, it's likely that we'll end the month on r/leaves with 210,000 unique visitors, so we have more people on our side of that opinion than we used to.
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wow that's incredible @Moderator -- Subduction !!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:52 PM
What's your plan on that @M1NDFEEDER ?
4:53 PM
Don't want to let that get worse...
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@Deleted User you're right about withdrawl / symptoms of covid. its kinda hard to know the difference, unless you get tested... making this an interesting time to quit
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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I've seen some of you guys get really nasty withdrawal symphoms
4:55 PM
for me is, I just get angry and pissy
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also, during covid a lot of people have it easier to quit, because they are isolated away from it.. BUT a lot of people have it worse, because they are trapped in a home WITH it
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@Ghastles it's a mixed bag alright
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yeah very true @Ghastles this whole time is just fucking rough in general, compounded by quitting a substance ?? and physical withdrawal? yikes
4:56 PM
@pomeljamones I've definitely had my share of mood swings! omg
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I just could't throw my weed, it's me being greedy knowing I've spend a lot of money on it
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Super late check in cause I didnt realize the time lol but I'm glad I made it in the last couple of minutes. 23 stays strong as of today!
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that's fair @pomeljamones
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Although if you're working, it might be easier to quit now
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there's such an emotional attachment to it as well @pomeljamones
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@IssaBLR glad you made it!!n
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I wouldn't of been able to go into the office if I was under withdrawal
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:57 PM
< @IssaBLR sticks his head in the door >
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That brain fog is a killer
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omg same @Deleted User that was a huge reason for me to decide to quit NOW
4:57 PM
like withdrawls in the office?? oooh not good
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When I came back from Canada , it took me 6 weeks to a job, thank God I quit weed before I started work
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 4:58 PM
Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! So happy to see you all. Hope to see each of you soon!
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see yall later!! ❤️
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@IssaBLR congrats
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I'll be on time later lol save my seat for me! Have a good one everyone! And thanks @Deleted User congrats to you too!
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I'll be on hopefully later, see yas
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leave Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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Hello.
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@Moderator -- Subduction good news from my doctor!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:00 PM
Hi @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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he says that it sounds like my acid reflux will end in the next few days!
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hello!
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How are you guys doing?
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@Chickens i'm jealous
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@snowfreak oh god, how long are you in?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:01 PM
im extremely irritable, took every bit of will power not to fly off the handle at work today
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pretty good. been sober for a week now and feeling amazing, worried that i'll eventually convince myself i can smoke like a normal person in the near future
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @Laria , @michelle , @snowfreak221 ! Welcome!
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Since this morning, whenever I have tried to make a new post, it has been automatically instantly deleted.
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:01 PM
What's the word @Chickens ?
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@Chickens in what? GERD? quitting weed?
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@Moderator -- Subduction a few more days and the acid reflux should be done
10:02 PM
@snowfreak221 the GERD
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Why? stressing day?
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:02 PM
@Ghastles -- You may be getting spam filtered. Fell free to PM me and we'll have a look
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@Ghastles That's great! I have 8 days sober but I still find it difficult
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@Chickens i've had it for a few years, i pretty much just need to eat better.
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Hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:03 PM
@Chickens That's awesome. You taking opramazole or something?
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@Chickens i was taking that, i switched to famotadine
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@snowfreak221 i'm currently quitting smoking ciggies, and i'm just under a month shy of constant acid reflux
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:03 PM
im very hot headed to begin with. i used to get high to tune out my shitty job but i can't. trying to use it as motivation to get out
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@Chickens that's great news, keep it up. nicotine is rough.
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Congratulations on making it past your first week @Laria !
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Today is a bad day to me. And i am struggling a lot with my cravings today. I want to feel better. But here I am, not doing it so far
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:04 PM
@Chickens i have constant acid reflux too, been like this for a few years
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@Moderator -- Subduction i'm currently on a combo of Pantoprazole and famotadine
10:04 PM
yeah this all kicked off with a peptic ulcer that wouldn't quit
10:04 PM
way too much shitty pizza
10:04 PM
and stress
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:05 PM
@Chickens Good to hear. That'll fix you up.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:05 PM
yeah diet and stress for me too, i take antacids twice a day
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:06 PM
What's your situation @Laria ? Do you have a stash on hand?
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oh i wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy, stomach was being bathed in bad acid and my throat would fire up and swell with every sip of water
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:06 PM
@michelle "Normal person" 🙂
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at least it's down to the throat now
10:07 PM
@Laria remember, you control the beast, the beast does NOT control you
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:07 PM
it got so bad one time i couldnt breathe
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:07 PM
How long did you smoke for @michelle ?
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I do have one. But it's not like I want it because I have it. Even If i didn't had I could get really easy (Sadly). But the thing is that I feel like really blue and unmotivated in general, very "meh"
10:08 PM
Very overwhelmed
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Anytime I got the urge to smoke when I was in my room, lonely and bored, I would just get up and go for a walk or cycle or start cleaning
10:08 PM
I think the boredom is hard to handle
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What up @everyone. Day 4 sucks but I’m almost through it.
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@Laria you just have to remember that the people you buy from are NOT your friends, they aren't interested in cheering you up, they just want your money
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@Moderator -- Subduction i've been smoking since i was 17 and i'm 25
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Don't worry, that is not the issue
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@Chickens truth
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And it would be free actually
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@Deleted User the boredom is very hard to handle
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@Laria the first hit of crack is free too...
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i try to remember that even if i were to get stoned i wouldn't even be able to focus on anything else
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:10 PM
@michelle Wow, a week is great after that run. Doesn't always feel that way, but it is. 🙂
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besides getting more stoned. which is very boring in itself
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I said that the possiblity of getting it it's not the problem... 😦
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@Laria i see, you're finding it difficult cuz of boredom or depression?
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Depression
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@laria have you considered throwing out the weed you currently have to avoid temptation?
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@Laria do you have any family you can talk to? any brothers or sisters with kids?
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant thats an amazing reversal! going from smoking to cope with job, to not smoking to get better job. that is great! How has it been going for you?!
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Now day 77 yada yada yada hello everyone old and new. The OLD is aimed at @Moderator -- Subduction 😆
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As I said... Even if I do it if I had the temptation i could get it in no time
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i find kids can cheer you right up
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starts running
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@M1NDFEEDER are you feeling any better?
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@Chickens No 😦 Not even friends
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Hello everyone! 23 days clean after 10 years of smoking. Hey @Laria ! I'm happy to see you again!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:12 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol
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@Laria for me, i just try to keep it out of sight so i don't get as tempted.
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Hey @IssaBLR how are you doing?
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@IssaBLR you made it!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:13 PM
@Ghastles nothing hiring around me. i have a meeting with a college advisor in a couple weeks but i really don't want to live at home any longer. im 26, it sucks
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Still cranky but made a joke so I'm not as bad @Ghastles
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I'm doing good since I made it to the group on time! @Laria lol I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling the best though. :/
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@Laria you just have to remember the struggles you have been through to get this far, and find something else to occupy your time
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I'm 25 and live at home, as soon as the airports are back open running again as usual, I'm gonna move
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true that, as soon as this entire thing is over, i want to go back to college, get my degree and move out somewhere more spread out
10:15 PM
like montana
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Ooh Montana that sounds nice
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@Chickens The problem is that since I woke up in this bad day I don't find any motivation to do anything. I already did all I had to do 😦
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yeah! moving from home was probably the best thing i've ever done for my mental health @Deleted User do it u p!!
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oooh so not only are you working towards a better job, you are pushing for an education, and independent living arrangement? Amazing job! kerp up the great work @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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@IssaBLR I guess it's part of the process
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@michelle I want to move to Vienna from Ireland, hopefully this virus stuff is all over by the end of the year
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:16 PM
@Deleted User im making decent money but everything is so expensive where i am. im sick of meeting someone and getting shunned for being at home too
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oooo sweet @Deleted User i'm living in brooklyn ny right now, doesn't rly seem like this is gonna be over anytime soon around here :_(
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:16 PM
@Ghastles thank you, im trying
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I mean you were still 12 minutes late @IssaBLR 😆
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I hope that when I move, that I meet other expats. Then we can do things like exploring a new city by going to museums and stuff instead of sitting in and getting baked which I have to do with my friends here
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hey everyone. had to change my clothes midsleep last night from the night sweats. most physical symptoms have passed, hoping these are gone soon 😩 today marks 4 weeks
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@Laria are you sure you didn't miss something? perhaps you should try getting back on facebook, it's done wonders for me
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm a fashionably late person. 😉😂
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Oh I'm not cool. I'm the one peering in saying "OPEN UP!"
10:20 PM
Hi @yames and well done!
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Wrong group lmao
10:20 PM
Sorry dudes
10:21 PM
How are you guys tho
10:21 PM
M
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@M1NDFEEDER you're from the UK right ?
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Someone probably asked but what have you been up to @Laria ? Distractions can help get through the rough times.
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I am indeed @Deleted User England to be specific
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@M1NDFEEDER is smoking weed a big cultural thing in England ?
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Any suggestions for the anxiety? Everything else I can find ways to coast through, but man I can't beat that
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@yames congrats on 4 weeks!! Gotta love a night time drenching lol
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distraction distraction distraction
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i have remained sober, just a quick drop in to let you all know im still sober heading into day 3 tomorrow hopefully be able to stay and chat a bit more tomorrow
10:22 PM
🙂
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I deleted most of my social media accounts after going sober
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@Erp I've been meditating. Just going through YouTube and finding a 10 minute one a day does wonders!
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Too much time wasted scrolling through news feeds while stoned
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:23 PM
Very good news @Enzo 🙂
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I only use YouTube and Instagram now
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Well it's illegal obviously but yeah with certain groups absolutely. But not as much as in the States I'd say. What's Ireland like? I mean were definitely big drinkers that's for sure @Deleted User
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@Enzo nice job!!!! I hope you're doing good as well!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:23 PM
Welcome @Erp 🙂
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@M1NDFEEDER the younger generation here are moving towards weed but alcohol is still far more common
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I imagine once it's legalised it'll change a lot @Deleted User
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@M1NDFEEDER and pigs will fly lol
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I'm hoping that current events will help quash the legalization effort
10:25 PM
people need to start waking up about smoking, and fast
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You don't think it will? I think our government would love the tax @Deleted User
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Today i realised, that i am wearing the last pair of pants i have, because i let my old ones turn to tatters when smoking for months on end (literaly wear until they fall off)... and these are about to fall off Totally wouldnt be a problem... needed a couple of new suits anyways... except thanks to COVID every single vlothing store is closed in my province
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Time to online shop for you @Ghastles put that saved cash from not smoking into some nice new threads
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@M1NDFEEDER outside of Reddit and my social circle, I don't see a big push for cannabis in Ireland , none of the major parties here support legalization but that's a big can of worms
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:27 PM
👉 <Subduction's finger moves toward the "no politics" button>
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I'd wish for it to be legalized for my friends sake and others who enjoy it, but after giving up weed I'm not too fussed about it
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I'd rather continue my journey of giving it up then spend time debating it
👍 1
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<resists making political reply>
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:28 PM
🙂
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hey friends! still going strong on day 10!
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I'm just trying to focus on what is in my own control. I can't control what other people are going to do with their lives.
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I say we just focus on ourselves during this time and how we can react to the future world!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:28 PM
Hey @~*ALiCiA*~ ! Yay 10!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ !!! great work!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ nice!!
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@~*ALiCiA*~ hey there and solid effort!!
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thanks yall!! ❤️
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you go @~*ALiCiA*~
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:31 PM
Hello all. I am back!
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what sort of revelations or "aha" moments have you all had while in isolation in regards to your use of marijuana? obviously we are all at different stages of sobriety/recovery but wondering what sort of truths you've discovered about yourself
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:31 PM
Hello @Reality Winner !
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hey mamas! @Reality Winner
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Hey @Reality Winner back and in action! (edited)
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@~*ALiCiA*~ that I'm not a very nice person. But 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I've discovered that I have a lot more money now that I don't smoke weed
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Welcome back @Reality Winner How's it been since you were last here?
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hey @Moderator -- Subduction, i know you gave a pretty indepth sleep thread, that you like to see posted around... was wondering, do you have something simmilar for people who are considering quitting cold turkey, and are wondering what they may experience?
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No more getting baked at 1am and going to the 24 hour corner shop for overpriced sweets
10:33 PM
The thought of going out at night to get food that makes me shiver lol
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:33 PM
😅 well I relapsed yesterday
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oh no @Reality Winner, but its okay!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:33 PM
@Ghastles I've seen one around but I don't have it on hand. If I run across it again I'll send it.
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:33 PM
Any tips that really really helped you guys quit cold turkey?
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thank you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:34 PM
@Reality Winner What led up to it?
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@Reality Winner how are you feeling about that? And biggest tip is to start today! (edited)
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I can't really recommend remedies for cold turkey as it's against the rules
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:34 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:34 PM
I don't remember but today I want to smoke again and its certainly because I'm being stonewalled by my SO
10:34 PM
I dont remember the days because I haven't really eaten well either tbh
10:34 PM
Oh actually I remember kinda
10:34 PM
Having issues with a professor
10:35 PM
I'm going to drop that class though
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God the eating is another awful thing for me. FOOD IS REPULSIVE FIRST WEEK so far
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why is your partner stonewalling you?! How far were in you, @Reality Winner ?
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:35 PM
like day 1 lol
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are you high right now?
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:35 PM
nope
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great!
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@Erp I've lost 24 pounds since quitting weed in about 6 months
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:35 PM
@Ghastles an argument we had
10:36 PM
Its only making me feel worse
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@~*ALiCiA*~ i'm less paranoid about saying dumb stuff, more present and able to start and finish tasks, just more confident. i used to smoke a lot to escape my anxiety but smoking rly just made me more anxious
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:36 PM
I want to talk things out when he stops stonewalling
10:36 PM
We haven't seen each other in months because corona
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:36 PM
@Reality Winner Do you live with him, or alone?
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:36 PM
no we don't live together, I pretty much live alone
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Jesus @Deleted User It's brutal. I've been drinking smoothies because solid food is so hard to chew through lately :/
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@Reality Winner Im so sorry :'( Relationship strain has been a huge trigger for me in the past as well.
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:37 PM
@Reality Winner Where did the weed come from for you to relapse?
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@Erp I think after giving up weed, most forms of sugar revolt me now
10:37 PM
I used to eat a box of fruit loops when stoned
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Also @IssaBLR Did a 10 minute session I found and genuinely thank you
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:37 PM
@Deleted User for real, i can't eat sweets like at all lately
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:37 PM
Yeah and its also making my eating worse I haven't eaten in 2 days. At least I haven't smoked but I feel shit. I wish I had more support.
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I'm starting to feel the same way. I picked up things I used to love to eat while high and now I haven't
10:38 PM
opened any of them
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puts the chocolate bar down embarrassed
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant sweets remind me when I used to pig out in bed and only barely get up to do another bong rip
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@michelle I have the same feelings, I'm less hesitant in my actions and always felt like the weed makes me calmer to interact with people. But I realized that's not the case it just made me overanalyze myself and freak out more.
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don't be ashamed chocolate is the best
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Down the throat? @M1NDFEEDER
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I'm down to 82kg from 93kg , hopefully I can get between 75-80kg by the summer
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@Erp that's what's up!! Its amazing how that little bit of time helps out.
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Damn right 😆
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@M1NDFEEDER I still eat dark chocolate though lol don't be embarrassed
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@IssaBLR rly good way to put it !
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I'm not really embarrassed. what works for me doesn't for others yada yada yada
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it makes dating a fucking mess also
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man @Deleted User I wish i could have the weight you're shedding!
10:40 PM
48.5kg here
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@michelle have you ever showed up to a date stoned before ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:41 PM
Do you still have weed on hand @Reality Winner ?
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:41 PM
Yeah I do actually: /
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@michelle isolated my girlfriend for pretty much three months and lost her because instead of dealing with things I just smoked, yeah it really does.
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:41 PM
Like a gram
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:41 PM
@Reality Winner Hmmmm...
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@Reality Winner do you have someone you can call, to come take it away?
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:42 PM
hm not really all my smoke friends are quarantined
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:42 PM
@Reality Winner Like a toilet, for example?
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Ahahaha @Moderator -- Subduction
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:42 PM
That would spook me lol
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:42 PM
dating is hell in general
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:42 PM
Idk last time I did that I just bought more
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hahaha @Moderator -- Subduction
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:42 PM
I kinda have comfort in having it?
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@lizeth I think it's better to throw the weed away yourself and not have someone else do it
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:43 PM
I can probably throw it outside or bury it in the garden
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Could bury it in the garden? Then by the time you've bothered to go dig it up the urge will have gone 🤷🏼‍♀️ although you probably should get rid @Reality Winner says the hypocrite (edited)
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@M1NDFEEDER and it will be mouldy!
10:44 PM
so even if you have the urge, it will be useless
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:44 PM
I mean i just thought it would be more enviromentally friendlier than flushing lol
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@Ghastles I'm sure the soil would ruin the taste of the weed too
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It takes actual shit (edited)
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also lol
10:44 PM
i can see someone doing thst
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"shit boys better dig up the stash"
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If it makes anyone feel better the weed makes a marriage shakey too. It made me have panic attacks that wouldn't normally make me act the way I do now, and say or do things I didnt mean from the anxiety overpowering me
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(The toilet)
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then a week later have plants growing
10:45 PM
erp: TPB fan?
10:45 PM
@Erp
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:45 PM
@Reality Winner You have to balance the "comfort" with the idea that you need to give yourself time to pull out of a dive before you relapse. If the weed is sitting in your house then you don't have any time to get your head back on straight. You're almost guaranteeing that craving=relapse.
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sounds exactly like ricky
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I can't really judge you at all @Reality Winner but if it being there will help or cause you to abuse, perhaps get rid
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:46 PM
The worst thing I think was the last time I picked up 5g from my dealer a month ago and it was really strong and I'm really underweight so it hit me hard and I hadn't slept or eaten in days, I thought I was going to have a heart attack and die. :/ I think about that feeling when I get urges
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haha never actually seen it but I need to @Ghastles
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i actually dont really like it that much, especially now thst im sover
10:46 PM
*sober
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@Reality Winner were you thinking of that feeling yesterday?
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its like 30 minutes of back to back addiction triggers
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@Ghastles some TV shows aren't as funny when youre not high lol
👍 4
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@Deleted User doesnt help its about a bunch of stoners :P
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i swear to god i'll never have another ciggarette again
10:48 PM
this month has been hell
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:48 PM
no I was really depressed. I didn't eat all day I just laid in bed and cried. I only smoked so I could go back to sleep or calm down but I just felt numb and hopeless lol
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:48 PM
@Chickens i need to quit that too. shits hard. especially because i can smoke at work
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:48 PM
I'm not having anymore heart palpitations anyways, I'm passively ignoring my own morality and I keep dropping weight. I think weed certainly makes my anorexia worse
10:49 PM
Before I used to be able to at least kinda eat 3 scheduled meals
10:49 PM
Now I need the weed to feel okay with even eating
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i traded cigs for vaping, but wish i could quit all together. (edited)
10:49 PM
one day.
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant it's a lot more difficult, and you can run into a lot of problems along the way, so be sure to let your doctor know
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@Reality Winner have got considered visiting a doctor
10:49 PM
Have you *
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:49 PM
no insurance atm, also corona
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@Reality Winner what country are you in ?
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:50 PM
I used to have a doctor
10:50 PM
Us
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@Reality Winner can you not get a consultation over the internet, maybe that would be cheaper ?
10:50 PM
Or telephone ?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:50 PM
@Reality Winner 😦 my ex girlfriend has anorexia and its hell for her. i wish you the best
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@Ghastles I've been vaping for years and I can agree its prob just as bad as cigs. Even more addicting too because you can do it almost anywhere.
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:50 PM
The one thing I did do during corona is tell my mom about it after 5 years, I never told anyone about it
10:51 PM
I think it helped because she started bringing me more food to make it easier for me to take care of myself
10:51 PM
Even if I can't see a doctor right now
10:51 PM
She wants me too but says its dangerous if I get sick ill certainly die
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@IssaBLR plus you can vape inside unlike smoking, so you'll probably vape a lot more, the smell from vaping isn't as strong as tobacco
10:51 PM
i never use to smoke inside
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:51 PM
i can smoke inside my work building
10:51 PM
how weird is that
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:51 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant rip thanks, its so weird to manage with weed
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puts vape down embarrassed
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now i vape indoors :(
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:52 PM
Even being a casual stoner i was like whatever but it became a crutch and I hate it
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and, i can vape like 200x more in a day than i could smoke cigs
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@Reality Winner that's a step though! It's hard to see it but theres support all around you. She sounds very caring and worried about her daughter.
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honestly vaping made it easier for me to smoke more weed
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:52 PM
@Ghastles my SO went through 50 juul pods
10:52 PM
It makes it way easier to smoke
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During the end of my last run all I used was carts really Ghastle
10:53 PM
Probably what made it so bad, because it just had that CONVENIENCE factor
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Oh mine is a nic only vape. I'm a spliff gal (edited)
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:53 PM
Yeah with vape you can keep using it
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Vaping is cheaper
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:53 PM
i switched to the juul for awhile. i ended up smoking cigs AND vaping
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@Ghastles yes it's a problem for me because the moment I wake up it's in my hand or pocket till I go to sleep. Knowing that I quit weed, it's inspiring me to get off the nicotine wagon.
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500$ a month on smokes
10:53 PM
or 80$ on vaping
10:54 PM
and 420$ extra on weed
10:54 PM
HATE IT
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:54 PM
juul has so much nicotine, i'd get a headrush every time
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Smoking weed or tobacco or vaping is an expensive habit
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Although that weed stuff you guys vape sounds so dangerous
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It all piles up
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:54 PM
I don't want to think about how much money I spent on weed
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I do think about it and it's painful lol
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:55 PM
I havent even been smoking that long and it still hurts
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@M1NDFEEDER i use to smoke a lot of distillate and oil
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Its painful to think about, but I've wasted lots of money on Coca Cola over the years too
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Reality Winner 29/04/2020 10:55 PM
Lol!
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almost instant multiday psychosis
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 29/04/2020 10:55 PM
later guys. as an aside, if anyone plays escape from tarkov and wants to squad up shoot me a message on here
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Yes juul has 25mg of nicotine due to the highly concentrated salts that the juice is made from. Way too much nicotine (bad in the first place) but gives you high blood pressure which induces nausea, headaches, drowsiness and other bad symptoms. (edited)
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Yeah I've seen many say similar to that. Thank God I'm old school @Ghastles
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:56 PM
Cya @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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later @Darknet Shrimp Merchant ! hope to see you vack soon!
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I don't like to think about the digital video games and online shopping I have done while stoned lol
10:56 PM
Thank God I don't compulsively buy anymore
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im struggling with that right now @Deleted User
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Wow you guys are all just like me
🙂 1
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i dont know what to do
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I bought LOADS of shit the first month sober
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need it under control asap, or sm going back in debt
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"I've earned this"
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@Ghastles if you want something, you should write it down and put it in your fridge, wait a month and then decide if you still want it
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The Nintendo switch store has definitely made some money off me.
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"Money I WOULD have spent on weed"
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On your fridge *
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🤷🏼‍♀️
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:57 PM
"THIS WILL DEFINITELY MAKE ME FEEL BETTER"
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Typical me troll logic
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For shit like amazon @Ghastles , I've been managing it by putting things I want to buy into a "Shit I can't afford", list through amazon, and then look back at it later to see if I actually need those things
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern time tomorrow! So happy to see so many new people every day! Hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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@M1NDFEEDER you're in my head get out of there!! 🤦‍♂️😂
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Really puts in perspective when you say "Ah yeah, I really don't miss that one thing I didn't buy a month ago"
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Your brain is bigger though 😆 @IssaBLR
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i get that @M1NDFEEDER . its like im trolling myself. i know its money i dont have but its like
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Have a great night guys!!! It was a pleasure
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See you all again, pleasure speaking to all of you
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Or 4pm UK time
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"If i max all my CCS i cant buy weed! that will show the addiction!" (edited)
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Alright guys time to slip and slide out of here, talk to yall later and stay strong!
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good day everyone! stay strong! come back soon!
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Moderator -- Subduction 29/04/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay all, closing up so I can go Amazon shopping until I'm happy. See you all tomorrow!
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Closing...
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dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #backstage
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
4:00 PM
I'll start the check-ins: I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit. Now you -- say hello let us know how you're doing with your quit...
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:01 PM
Hey all! New unlock method this morning -- are we unlocked?
4:02 PM
Moment please...
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Opening...
4:02 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:02 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:02 PM
Yes!
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hello, 10 years daily toker here, 4 weeks clean today !
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:03 PM
So much for new things... 🙂
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Hi I'm Where'sMyGlasses / M1NDFEEDER, whatever, 5 years chronic user, and 15 years of intermittent usage / abuse on top. Now 77.83 days free and on my best behaviour as I am BEING WATCHED 😱🖤 activates lurker cloak 🤐
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almost 2 weeks here
4:03 PM
the cravings are returning
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there we go....almost daily smoker for 10+ years....on day 5. Feeling better than yesterday. Hoping to help anyone who needs someone to talk to, I'm parked at my computer most of the day.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:03 PM
Hi @félix , welcome!
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but i notice i'm naturally getting "high" here and there.
4:03 PM
brain is finally resetting
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:04 PM
@félix I was a ten year smoker myself, a month is fantastic!
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thank you ! cravings are ups and downs, strong ones today, but i can project myself into knowing it wouldn't be as good as i expect it. still want to though. but there's so much more about being sober and creating, learning and doing stuff
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@Xtreme any idea whats causing you to get the cravings?
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Was waist-deep in the stoner lifestyle for about 13 years. Been reading Leaves for about 5 years, have been Subductin's loyal lackey (Mod) for 4 of them. A bit over a year quit!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:06 PM
We keep @Gorgoleon because he works for candy.
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Morning everyone! I'm 24 days 15 hrs 2 mins and 37 secs clean as of currently! I was a habitual smoker for the past 10 years with small hiatuses in between. I had a huge trigger this morning now that I'm clean it seems like all my past smoker friends wants to hit me up and try to sell me stuff. 🤦‍♂️
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good morning, leavers!
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Good morning @Ghastles!!
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@dr3w many things: food, music and other things i associated smoking with
4:07 PM
the brain is fvking smart
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Hi, toked for 6 years through most of school. Quit a few times before, but now i think I'm ready to take control of my life. 9 days in
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@Xtreme truth for sure...it really deceives us unfortunately
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i associated it with video games a lot. geeked a little today so that might not help
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mindfulness meditation and yoga are helping me observe these thoughts/cravings.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:08 PM
hey @übersudo , welcome!
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honestly i played worse when high
4:08 PM
but it made me appreciate the art of games more.
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Congratulations uber! thats the way to do it! keep pushing forward, in Superuser Mode!
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What's up @@übersudo! Happy to meet you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:08 PM
@übersudo 9 days is awesome, how are you feeling?
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@félix what do you like to do besides playing vidya games?
4:10 PM
And congrats on 4 wks!!
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@félix @M1NDFEEDER @Xtreme @dr3w Pumped to see some new faces and hear about that awesome progress! Grats, ppl!
👍 1
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Once I finish today, its gonna be one week!
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cheers for the support guys, much needed ! habits be hard to kick, but the reward circuit is worth it. so i make music and programming mainly
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@IssaBLR Alright I guess. Thanks. Kinda low but I haven't had any true cravings to smoke. I still want to feel something good though. Slowly easing my way back into hiking and my RC car hobby, but I feel numb
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oo, thats awesome @félix
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I'm really glad I found this community. Thank you to everyone on here :)
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hope you will start sharing your works with us in the future!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:13 PM
@felix I haven't coded for 25 years, just just started with python so I can build tools for leaves. Like most coders, starting again because I'm frustrated with what exists. 🙂
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i still have to get back to working on music, because the high numbed my creativity ! programming is awesome, there's just so much to learn. what is making things harder is being stuck on a C project for school :p
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While you're tweaking with coding / leaves... I know flairs aren't allowed on leaves but if you could allow a male or female signifier I'd appreciate that, I get called bro/ brother/ fella at least 10 times a day on there (and doubt I'm the only one) and I'm verging on sticking a frozen sausage down my pants to fit in with my newly given gender at this point 😇
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:15 PM
I call weed a creativity simulator. You get the rush of being a creative genius, but the work product is a different story.
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@M1NDFEEDER lmao
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@Moderator -- Subduction YES
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:16 PM
@M1NDFEEDER lol, that's an interesting idea. Let me think about that some.
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i kinda went into that i bit yesterday in my log
4:17 PM
looking at the end result of coding, when high
4:17 PM
and being )_o
4:17 PM
0_o
😆 1
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It lets you have big ideas and be content with just the idea tbh @Moderator -- Subduction
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thats a great way to look at it too erp
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:18 PM
@Erp Right. The weed is like "that's the best idea I've ever heard. Now take another hit and we'll get on that tomorrow."
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exactly Subduction, reminds me of a quote from Baudelaire (from the 1800s !!) that i read, translating it : "weed doesn't reveal anything to the person more than the user himself" and "it gives you the idea of creativity, but not being able to enjoy creativity itself". bit messy but you get the idea
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$deity knows how many rabbit holes of unexplored ideas i went down
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"Let's get some MORE big idea"
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and didnt do A SINGLE THING WITH
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That's what up@félix what software do you use for music? @übersudo those are both good hobbies, sort about the feeling numb part though. It gets better over time. :/
4:19 PM
Whats up @Erp happy to see you again!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:20 PM
@félix Is that a paraphrase, or did Baudelaire actually comment on weed?
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(don't mean to seem all high and mighty with the quotes, but this one stuck to me). i use Ableton for music, i used to work on Cubase and Reason
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Hey there man you too! @IssaBLR 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction he actually did, but i can't find an english version !
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:20 PM
@félix Wow, I had no idea. I will definitely look for that too!
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Anybody self-conscious about sounding like a stoner when they talk? I swear I sound like freaking Chong and it takes an effot not to lol
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@félix kudos to ableton, I should've used that one to start with. I'm on good ol fl studio lol (edited)
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I love fl!
4:22 PM
started with FL3 YEARS ago
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@IssaBLR it's good, what's important is how you use it 😉 i was definitely against Ableton at first, but i got used to it and it makes everything easier to do in my opinion
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but havent used it since 12 😦
4:23 PM
Lets be honest though,
4:23 PM
as long as its not Audacity, amazing things can be done
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Yep. Plus got the smokers gruff voice still @Gorgoleon good times
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i have a bit of a problem, i know i don't want to go back to abusing but i feel like i'm definitely gonna relapse, and instantly regret it. but i think of how long i went through without it and definitely don't want to end this streak before a month...and a few days more
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@IssaBLR @félix would you guys be willing to link to some of your stuff?
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Lol very true there @@félix ableton just seems easier with the layout and the playlist drag and drop. FL has way too many screens sometimes. Shout out to Kenny Beats lmao
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@Ghastles, sure, but i don't think we can link stuff here, i'll dm it to you though !
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thanks!
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@IssaBLR what is funny is using a different software kinda gives you a different perspective on making tracks
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@Gorgoleon i do. At least in sentence structure and things like that. My head still feels a little scrambled, and will forget what I was talking about. Did you mean an actual voice change?
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@Ghastles I would have to send it to you from the desktop I never released my work, and most of it's just half finished stuff lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:25 PM
@félix Don't look up, don't look down. Don't think of how long your streak has been or how much longer you have to go. Just focus on today. If you go to bed tonight without having smoked, then your entire mission is accomplished. Then tomorrow morning you set a new mission. (edited)
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Haha @IssaBLR so harsh on yourself!
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@Gorgoleon I'm stuck forever saying man as a sentence ender If that's kind of what you mean 😂
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@Moderator -- Subduction yup, but that's kind of a "positive procrastination" that might not be enough on the long run. i have so much reasons to quit, yet it still crawls up on me like a toxic ex
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@übersudo I'm mainly talking about people being able to peg you as somebody that has smoked a shitload of weed lol
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Feeling any better today @M1NDFEEDER ?
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@Ghastles it's true though! I'm proficient at making loops but producing it into a 3 min progression is a different story. 😂
4:29 PM
@Gorgoleon people get that vibe by the way I look tbh and forever stuck with the seth Rogen laugh lmao (edited)
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Haha my hair has been long and curly since before I started and stopped smoking, there was never an escape from the stoner stereotype
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@IssaBLR so true. finishing tracks is so hard, but that's the same for everybody and every project i guess. beginning a new track/project is awesome, working hard on it to finish it may seem annoying but it's rewarding. we were just used to being satisfied instantly ^^
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:30 PM
@félix Remember, if it becomes overwhelming, you always have permission to smoke. But it has to be tomorrow. Your craving will always be temporary, and if you are building back the rest of your non-weed life over time they will become less frequent and less powerful.
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@Moderator -- Subduction really good advice for the first few weeks. Staying focused on the here and now. I still think about it a lot because of how much my daily routine changed. behavioral addiction and all that
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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quitting weed has allowed me to see where i need to focus my energy in life and tackle the other addictions i have.
4:31 PM
the journey does not end here
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Quitting weed has given me dreams,
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@Moderator -- Subduction so true
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Dreams for the future, and dreams at night
4:31 PM
Lol
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@Xtreme, you got this. we're resilient creatures. and the reward from coming back only makes you stronger
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How are you guys
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"Remain steady and unwavering . . . Do not give in. Be strong like a mountain. Stay still like the sky and the earth and retain control of power at all times. The sky, the earth and the mountains are unmoved as unmoved is the world of living beings and this king of men."
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:32 PM
@übersudo I have 21 years now and I still get cravings. What's changed is how capable I am at dealing with them. they don't stand a chance against me now, but they are still alive and need to be treated that way.
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thanks again everybody, awesome community, stay strong ! we're stronger than this plant and don't need it to function normally !
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:32 PM
Hey @♛KAXA♛ !
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Yeah thanks 😄 just spending less time on my phone so less reddit here etc @Ghastles
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as someone said earlier, mindfulness meditation is amazing, and you can learn that from youtube and the like. the power of sitting still. it really makes you take a step back
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(makes me realize i didnt do it in 2 days hehe, welp that's my next hour planned :p)
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Glad that so many people are taking control in here and trying to reset their normal meters. Spending all day stoned and forever having a fat sack of weed is not normal. 😩
4:35 PM
I wish that meditation wasnt a trigger for me
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:36 PM
If anyone is curious about getting started with meditation, I wrote a primer awhile back for Leaves: https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/85u18y/some_notes_and_encouragement_on_meditation_from/
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Also to add to what @félix said, you can totally apply that mindfulness meditation to cravings.
👍 1
4:36 PM
not just the effects of them
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I can't recommend meditation enough, especially if you're a person with anxiety like me. It helped me through some of the panic attacks when first quitting. And like the others said it let's you take a step back and observe your emotions at the time being.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:37 PM
Good to know that about yourself @Ghastles You may be able to come back around to it with time
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practising mindfulness is an incredibly powerful tool to help you get through many situations, or even just improve your general quality of life. Likely wouldnt be where I am now, without it, so its great to see that it's being so heavily reccommended here!
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there's no failing in it too, only practice. always thought my racing thoughts kept me from the benefits of it, but it makes you realize so much. it's completely different from introspection
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Still sober guys, try check in tonight to let you all know too 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:40 PM
@Enzo ! Great to hear. another day behind you.
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Hey @Enzo and great job man!
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Morning gang! happy thursday all
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:41 PM
Morning @hydeta !
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What's up @hydeta how you doing on this wonderful Thursday?
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Doing well, I'm heading back to my apartment in NYC tomorrow to pick up some things and say hello to my roommate (staying with my parents the last month), I know they've gone through over 2oz since I left a month and a bit ago and have been texting me how excited they are to smoke with me when I come visit
4:43 PM
gonna have to gather my strength
4:44 PM
I haven't told them I've quit yet (just hit 3 weeks yesterday!)
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Hey hydeta
4:44 PM
Is it possible to bring your parents with you
4:44 PM
so your roomate wont be so.. inclined to try and smoke
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@hydeta that's amazing, stay strong ! just tell them you'll pass 🙂
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haha not a bad idea @Ghastles
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@hydeta that's a good plan what's ghastles said do you have an idea on how to approach the situation? And congrats on 3 weeks!
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@hydeta A few lines to use when they ask- "I wish I could." "I got shit to do." "I would if I could." If they push more, let them know it's not up for discussion. It can be hard when the dynamics of your old stoner crew change
👍 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:46 PM
@hydeta Strength is good, plans are even better. Ever seen a race driver just sit in a chair and drive the track in his head? That can often help -- think through the scenes -- how they'll offer, what you'll say, what they'll say back, how you will counter, etc. Think of worst case scenarios too. Sometimes success is just knowing how you'll act in advance.
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I try to let my friends know before i see them, just so they have the opportunity to clean things up a bit if they choose, and so they know that I would prefer not be around it
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crazy how time goes fast by the way, when you're doing something interesting, like sharing experience here. if time goes slow, means you gotta stay more busy i guess
🙂 2
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obviously thats not always possible
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I feel like when i've told my friends i've quit in the past they have a tendency to assume im judging their lifestyle now
4:47 PM
so i try to say im just on a long t-break
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@hydeta my friends cut me off completely.
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but i've made the mistake of not telling someone, then walking into a house that just reeked of weed
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just shows you how powerful weed can influence.
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@hydeta the thing is... I'm not sure those people are your friends. If they were, they still would be, regardless of if you smoke or not
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It shows who your real friends are that care about how you feel and what you're going through.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:48 PM
@hydeta Deflecting is good too. "I'm trying not to smoke during this corona thing. My lungs are taking it hard enough as it is." (edited)
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if you not being a smoker is a personal attack on them
4:49 PM
then, they have to work through some things on their own
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@Ghastles that's exactly what I was about to say!
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Sometimes, you're the first one of your crew to stop, too. Once a few of them see you lead a good productive life without weed, it might be the kick in the ass they need to get off the shit.
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@hydeta I've used the T-break answer before. Usually that works since in their mind it doesn't make a statement like quitting does
👍 2
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absolutely @Gorgoleon
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@Gorgoleon I hope that'll be me
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My friend that hit me up this morning didnt know i quit and when I told him, he said congrats and had no hard feelings. Makes me appreciate it that much more. (edited)
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leading by example
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reaching out to talk about it is always a good thing
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my two friends who are hardcore smokers are really going through some shit. one of them started taking Adderall and the other has extreme depression.
4:51 PM
another friend of mine died 2 months ago, fentanyl od.
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Sorry for your loss @Xtreme
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I'm very sorry to hear that @Xtreme that's really rough.
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he was only 26.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:52 PM
Fentanyl is a lousy drug.
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he was doing cocaine, but it was laced.
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i use to blaze him out.
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i knew him since he was like 6 years old
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@Xtreme feelsbadman. friend of mine died last year, it's always hard and makes you realize how much you can only help yourself. i abused benzos for a week after quitting and it only made my withdrawals harder. now this is behind
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i havent stopped thinking of him.
4:54 PM
so its helping me stay sober.
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@Xtreme They say a wise person learns from other peoples' mistakes. I bet he'd like you to learn from his mistake. Stay strong.
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ugh @félix hate bennys so much... becaues they are just so bloody good
4:54 PM
thank $deity you got past it! good work!
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sup guys
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@Ghastles i thought they were too, and i could use them for sleep, but they actually fucked my brain up like never before. sobriety is aaawesome.
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im a bit late today sadly
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Sup @Deleted User good to see you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:55 PM
Hey @Deleted User !
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time before last, almost traded weed straight up for benzos, it was terrible
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What's up @Deleted User !
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glad i got off that crap... even if it meant going back to wed
4:55 PM
but off that now too
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really awesome talking to you guys, we're all in this together
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:56 PM
@Ghastles That's what got me into rehab. Make a quality addict decision to simplify my life, give up all my other drugs and just use heroin. Fortunately, got into rehab before I was able to implement that plan.
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Glad to chat with you guys today! Any new Leavers, don't go doing some crackhead shit for weed like me. i.e. digging through the trash for a roach, trying to pick weed out of the carpet haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:57 PM
"Mmmm, burning carpet fibers."
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weed was my escape, now im laid off and i feel so uncertain of my future. i have to be focused and persevere.
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I did that 🤷🏼‍♀️ no shame here. Adios people
👍 1
4:58 PM
Carpet fibres burn nice 👋🏻
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I've roasted more than a few animal hairs from weed that has fallen on the carpet. A small price to pay for a pitiful high lol
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@Gorgoleon haha ive been there too bro
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Amazing @Moderator -- Subduction. And because you were able to that, we are all here today
🙂 2
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you know what's crazy ? a week after quitting i copped some and i didn't smoke it yet. i was ashamed, but now proud to have gone this long.
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Glad to see you @Gorgoleon and thanks again @Moderator -- Subduction for putting this all together. Talk to you all later and stay strong!
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@Moderator -- Subduction ty sub
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 4:58 PM
Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! So happy to see you especially the new folks! Hope to see each of you soon!
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thank you all, stay strong !
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Good after noon everyone!
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You guys see the admin post in /r/blog about the Start Chatting feature? They keep trying to push chat rooms but looks like very few people want them on Reddit lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 5:00 PM
Yup, been fighting that fight. I think we're excluded as a support group.
5:00 PM
Okay, closing the door to the study so I can brush up on my French lyrical poets. See you later!
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everybody roasting the admins in comments
5:00 PM
Later all
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:00 PM
day 4
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:00 PM
Hey @Darknet Shrimp Merchant ! 4 is epic!
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Greetings Subduction
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Yes! So good! You killin it.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:01 PM
feeling not horrible but not great, just existing which ive concluded is actually a good thing
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Hello! 4 is my favorite point in craps! A great number!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:01 PM
Hello @Deleted User , Good to see you!
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Good afternoon, Leavers
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:01 PM
@Ghastles !
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I didnt do it!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:02 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Better than many alternative. Gray days aren't black days.
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Good evening everybody!
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bonddobondobondo!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:03 PM
Hello @IssaBLR !
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Hello everyone! May Gray is coming early in LA (hey that rhymed!)
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Hello, first meeting.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:03 PM
Hi @Lou , welcome!
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Welcome @Albert C. !!
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Thank you kindly @Moderator -- Subduction
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How is everyone doing?! And hello @@Lou and @Albert C.! (edited)
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gonna be a real tough couple of days this week
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:04 PM
Glad you found us, @Albert C.
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hi @IssaBLR
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I decided to quit drinking alcohol, stop smoking cannabis and tobacco, all at the same time. Super fun times sarcasm (edited)
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how are you doing champ
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@Lou get ready for the heartburn my friend
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thats great @Lou! congratulations!
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@Chickens - I have indeed been feeling additional heartburn, funny you bring that up. I typically control it with yogurt.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:05 PM
mmmm chobani
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Congrats! @Lou what made you wanna quit all that stuff?
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:06 PM
At least you get clarity @Lou . Sometimes more than you want, but clarity.
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yeah mine is out of control
10:06 PM
it's different for everyone tho
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whats good everyone
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:06 PM
👋🏼
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@IssaBLR - I was spiraling out of control, literally had a J or a cig in my mouth from morning to night.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:07 PM
Hey @happilyabbily ! Welcome!
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:07 PM
Thanks!
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Now's a good time to be healthy! Anyone else have too much free-time during pandemic?
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@@Lou ahh the vicious cycle we all know, well I'm glad you found the group. Very supportive people here.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:08 PM
@Albert C. im working so much. lots of rush jobs for hospital expansions and we built a new laboratory for a testing company
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yeah, thanks. I usually get to the morning / evening meetings too late before it closes up shop
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:08 PM
Where are you in your quit @happilyabbily ?
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:09 PM
16 hours. Hurting a lot.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:09 PM
Hey @misheel !
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@Lou Glad to see your here! That's now way to live long term! Snoop and them might make it look cool but when you're smoking like that you feel like a zombie.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:09 PM
@happilyabbily 16 hours is great. What are you feeling?
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Maybe staying busy will help!
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@happilyabbily that first day is pretty painful but keep on trooping. It gets better I promise.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:10 PM
definitely, i know im getting sleep tongiht
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exactly, @Gorgoleon. Doesn't hurt that I work in the creative industry and I'm actually instructed/recommended by my peers to "get high and come up with something cool"
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:10 PM
I’ve been using weed to manage chronic pain for about four years, all of that pain is coming back. Mostly my hips and lower back.
10:11 PM
@IssaBLR thanks 🙂
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@Lou Hope that you're able to show them that that's not the case!
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@Gorgoleon - only one way to find out! 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:12 PM
@happilyabbily What's your plan on addressing the pain itself?
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I've been playing music for about 20 years now and have no problem playing, jamming, or writing sober.
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Man that does suck what's causing you the pain? @happilyabbily did you get hurt in the past?
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That's a good topic of the day candidate- "I create better when I'm high."
👍 1
10:13 PM
It only seems like your shit is better when you're high because you've manipulated your reward pathways into flooding your brain with dopamine. Of course you're gonna think it's cool.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:13 PM
fugazi made some amazing music without ever using drugs
👍 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:13 PM
@Gorgoleon We should be writing these down for when we start structured meetings.
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:13 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction , aleve and rest
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I found out I'm actually more creative sober lately as well too. I also have more motivation to actually carry out my art projects as of late too. (edited)
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Right? That was the discussion this morning too, its really crazy how much people love to push it as the "creative" drug, but creative or not, those creations never came to life for me when I was high. (edited)
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Ah. sorry guys. I think im out, dont really have anything to contribute this afternoon. Have a great afternoon leavers!
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:14 PM
@IssaBLR , I have chronic vasovagal syncope. There’s a lot@of falling in my life 😂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:14 PM
"waiting room" by fugazi has been a very helpful song lately
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Have a great night!! @Ghastles
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:14 PM
@happilyabbily Good plan -- I have arthritic hips, and physical therapy helped a whole lot.
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@Ghastles have a good one man I'm glad I got to see you!
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant +1 for Fugazi!
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:15 PM
@Good to see you @Ghastles as always. Hope to see you again tomorrow, or in the mod queue at r/leaves... 🙂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:16 PM
"But I won't sit idly by I'm planning a big surprise I'm gonna fight for what I wanna be And I won't make the same mistakes Because I know how much time that wastes Function is the key"
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:16 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I wish I could go to PT right now! It’s been an incredible help, but my physical therapist has been@closed for the last few weeks
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I've had work environments where we were encouraged by the management to get stoned (flipping burgers & construction). I had to leave that in past before I realized I had to quit.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:16 PM
Yeah, it's crazy!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:18 PM
@Albert C. im the only sober one at my job as a welder
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:18 PM
@Albert C. My wife is a construction project manager. It's a real problem, and soooper dangerous, and a whole lot of liability.
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:18 PM
I felt the need to change my username, somehow dabbilyabbily didn’t seem to fit my new sober lifestyle 😝
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:19 PM
lol
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kitchens and construction site are both dangerous. The required drug testing program at work might be the only thing keeping me sober right now.
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant You'll be glad when you don't have to worry about passing a test trying to get workman's comp lol
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:21 PM
my boss won't test because he wouldn't have any employees
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I've known guys that quit because they knew they were going to get tested because they were injured on the job
10:21 PM
haha
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:21 PM
good point though
10:21 PM
i dont think anyone ever goes for comp when they get hurt
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:22 PM
I worked at ad agencies my whole career. No one was about to test for anything.
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Ever make any art with your welder?
10:23 PM
I'd like to get a shop
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:23 PM
i used to tig weld roses for my ex girlfriend hahah
10:23 PM
from nuts and bolts
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:23 PM
Cute!
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Maybe you could join one of the unions. I know the steamfitters do some welding and make hella bank.
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@Gorgoleon I know I'm less likely to get hurt now. I used to bump head burn myself a lot.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:25 PM
weldings fun just not day in day out. i have a meeting with a college advisor to go back and finish my degree
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:25 PM
Would love to learn welding, but I've only ever lived in apartments, and buildings don't love the idea of welding in your apartment.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:25 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction look for hackerspaces
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@Albert C. Being a stoner is like being in a 3 stooges movie lol
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant my grades went up when i stopped smoking
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:26 PM
i went from a 3.8 GPA to a .75 when i started lmao
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@Gorgoleon it's like a Beavis and Butthead cartoon
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:26 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Cool, there was one by me but they were super expensive and closed. Anyway, a ton more to do before I reach that oint on the list. 🙂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:27 PM
they can definitely be pricey
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:27 PM
Cool equipment though.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:27 PM
i think mine was 70 a month
10:28 PM
did lots of welding and machining
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:28 PM
Nice, I'm just outside of DC in a very expensive city and they over estimated the market a bit I think. Sure did with me.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:29 PM
a lot of their money and equipment came from donations which helped with the cost
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:30 PM
That's a better business plan. I'm on track to get a 3D printer soon. That's by next toy I think.
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:30 PM
i want one too
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Boys and their toys 🙄
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:31 PM
My wife won't let me buy it until I completely reorganize my office. 🙂
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Quick hello and bye day 78 yada yada yada
10:32 PM
And adios 😘 (edited)
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@M1NDFEEDER Great to see you here again! I think your next post needs even more smileys btw haha
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:32 PM
@M1NDFEEDER nice!
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Hello! - Day 4. 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:32 PM
Hello @M1NDFEEDER Good to see you! Come back and update us tomorrow... 🙂
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I'll put extra just for you then @Gorgoleon 😏
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:33 PM
Hey everyone. im 5 days and oscillating between feeling emancipated and crippling 'move your damn big toe' type depression. did anyone else wonder if they had just been medicating something more pervasive? i take in comfort in the thought that if this gets better then it was only the weed (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:33 PM
Hi @shadow sounds , welcome! Hi @Lou , good to see you
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@shadow sounds Welcome and a big congrats on 5 days!
10:35 PM
@shadow sounds Have you been working on your habits? What have you been doing?
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Hey @shadow sounds Nice job on 5 days! I have had those thoughts. I avoided professional help for years but now even in the crisis were in i found a therapist and getting some more testing done in the future.
10:37 PM
It sucked but I couldn't just sit back and allow myself get swallowed in those thoughts anymore and thinking weed will make it go away.
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:37 PM
@Gorgoleon thank you! I've increased my exercise and singing and learning guitar. if i feel too down ill have a good cry and pick up the guitar for a bit which seems to distract me long enough to get over the hump
10:38 PM
@IssaBLR thanks for the reassurance. i have a therapist who i speak to weekly and that helps. in the beginning of our sessions last november i had no intention of quitting weed but slowly i realized i really needed to stop depending on it to live
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After I quit I started cooking a lot more
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Not sure if it's against the rules, but I've been reading a book titled, "Brain in Balance" - by Dr. Fredrick Von Stieff M.D. --- Super helpful to understand what's going on underneath the hood, so to speak.
👍 1
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:39 PM
@Albert C. thats a great idea! between the prep, actual cooking and cleaning it takes a good chunk of time too
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@@shadow sounds no problem at all, that's good you're finding an outlet for your emotions to help you get out of your head.
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@shadow sounds so much time lol
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:40 PM
i will definitely check that out @Lou thanks
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@Albert C. I'm a huge fan of cooking too! Grilling to be specific, it's a shame it's a cloudy day or I would be outside right now lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:41 PM
The regulars here know that I like to recommend -- "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It's a CBT program, and I think it's great. Helped me a lot.
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:41 PM
Does anyone else have genetic predisposition too? both my parents and sets of grandparents have substance abuse and/or dependence
10:41 PM
oohthanks @Moderator -- Subduction
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@shadow sounds Building habits is a difficult process. Especially when you're going from a short-term reward habit like getting high, to a long-term reward habit like exercising, gaining skills, or dating
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happilyabbily 30/04/2020 10:42 PM
@shadow sounds I got it from my dad :/
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:42 PM
thats definitely true, its so easy and quick to get high
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The good news is, though the more you practice habits the easier they are. They're more rewarding too once you've been doing them on the regular.
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:42 PM
its harder to sit in the feelings and pull urself out
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yes @shadow sounds - I also have a genetic predisposition, both my parents are hardcore alcoholics to this day
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:43 PM
@shadow sounds Actually, for all the kitchen table theories about the cause of addiction, the only firm, repeatable data is that vulnerability to it is a genetic predisposition. It's like Type II diabetes.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:43 PM
me too. my parents dont drink but my dad smokes a lot of weed to deal with rheumatoid. my brother is a heroin addict
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@IssaBLR I don't grill anymore. I should though. No space in my apartment for a grill 😦
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@@shadow sounds my mommas had severe depression for a long time and my dads a severe alcoholic. Love em both though lol
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:44 PM
thats so tough, how did everyone deal with their own sobriety while facing their loved ones? are you still in contact? sometimes it seems i need to hold more stringent boundaries for my own healths sake
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@shadow sounds no disposition for addiction, but ive learned my parents were very avoidant. I tend to want an escape.
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@Albert C. that's a shame, that was one of my biggest motivation to get a house to rent instead of an apartment.
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@IssaBLR I cook some mean pork shoulder in the oven though lol
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@Albert C. oooh I know what you mean, beef jerky made from the oven is pretty delish too!
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I eat a mean BBQ ribs...
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:47 PM
@shadow sounds I was an isolating user -- my family and friends are for the most part non-users. Everybody was shocked when I went to rehab.
10:47 PM
So me alone with no accountability is my biggest risk environment.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:48 PM
i haven't told anyone i've quit
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we know your secret
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@shadow sounds You rebuild those relationships over time. I spent a lot of time neglecting relationships in favor of getting high and am putting in work repairing them. Kind of hard with the plague and all at the moment, but you just call them once every week or so and catch up like a normal person.
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I haven't either. My mom was one of my biggest smoke buddies whenever I went home and I have no clue how to deal with that
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:49 PM
i dont want my friends to know yet
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:49 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant No rush.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:49 PM
my dad gives me weed for christmas lol gotta make sure he knows before then
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@Gorgoleon I as well ignored many friends and bailed on many events in favor of just staying home and getting high by myself
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:50 PM
me tooo, so often
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Yup, feels bad af
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:50 PM
then im like damn im so lonely so smoke some more
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hehe yep! ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:50 PM
Amazing how different each of our experiences are. My parents had no involvement/understanding of weed.
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Bailing on those relationships to do what? Smoke blunts and listen to music or play video games? Def not worth it
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:51 PM
im super sad at the thought that i wont be enjoying any summertime blunts with my friends
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Definitely not worth it, the danger is that it totally FEELS worth it at the time
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:51 PM
it breaks my heart
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I always just went and then smoked there but that destroyed a lot of friendships man
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:52 PM
@Lou Yeah, I "must have been in the bathtub" so many nights when people called.
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You can still enjoy the summertime hikes and pool days bro @shadow sounds
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:52 PM
thats true!
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@shadow sounds You could still have some cookouts, workouts, and hikes and stuff
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:52 PM
Don't get ahead @shadow sounds , just handle today.
10:52 PM
Just today.
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:52 PM
oof thanks @Moderator -- Subduction that rang true
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Sometimes you're the first of your crew to get away from the shit. A few others might follow your lead.
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we were only friends so we could get high. I had to leave that behind, now im more lonely after 2+ years
10:53 PM
which is why im here
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:54 PM
that's my fear. i want to eventually be 100% sober and that is very alienating
10:54 PM
i dont drink like at all and that seems to bother so many people
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at least there is reddit
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big b you gotta fill that void with a hobby mane
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@Deleted User yeah man
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@Albert C. Making friends is way harder after high school/college. I've found that hobbies and shared interests draw me to friendships more than anything. Once you're not sitting around getting high at your house 24/7 and you put yourself out there and make yourself available to be a friend.
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I don't have close friends. had to ditch them
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that really helps me bro i can definitely recommend some social hobby
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Anyone looking for a great escape from reality that isn't a drug check out Dungeons and Dragons if you have the capability 🙂
10:55 PM
Bit of a pivot but saw the word hobby and had to toss that out
👍 1
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Going out for a walk around the park, if anyone wants to DM and chit-chat, I'm pretty much on all day long. Cheers everyone, thank you for this! See you tomorrow!
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Most of my new friendships in the last few years are people I've met in the gym and people I've met jamming music with friends. Gotta get out there.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:55 PM
i did jiu jitsu for awhile when i quit the first time. turns out they're all stoners haha
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shadow sounds 30/04/2020 10:55 PM
thank you all! i really appreciate having this space to share and hear your experiences
🙂 3
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@Erp what u mean?
10:56 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant yeah a lot of martial artists smoke as well but doesnt mean u have to join them after training
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im open to suggestions for hobbies
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:56 PM
the smell bothered me a lot
😆 1
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@Albert C. if you're tough and up for a challenge i could recommend boxing/muay thai/mma/ jiu jitsu
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:57 PM
then every injury theyre like yeah man just rub some of this cbd on it you're good to go
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u get high testosterone guys in those gyms that are all about improving themselves
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ok i used to wrestle, im into the idea
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@Albert C. - Try Toastmasters! I'm VP of Public Relations for Silicon Speech, we do Zoom meetings weekly. Can answer any questions you may have.
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if u have wrestling experience you would have an advantage in MMA (edited)
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Working out, get in a boxing or MMA club, meditation, journaling your goals and plans, reading, writing, music, learn to dance, or go volunteer. There's lots of stuff to do.
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:58 PM
When you get high, cannabis can become the solution to every problem.
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Get out there and date too
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bro fighting ( ufc) makes me cringe it's so violent
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 30/04/2020 10:58 PM
later everyone, keep it up
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern time tomorrow! More new faces today -- very exciting to see you all arrive! Hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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yeah man but training in an MMA gym is nothing like fighting UFC lol
10:59 PM
it's very light and controlled usually and u dont get CTE
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:59 PM
Great to see you @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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unless u actually want a fight
10:59 PM
aight guys cya
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 10:59 PM
Cya Mike
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@Albert C. Maybe try out a yoga class. It's physical and will get you out there.
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@Lou ill check out toastmaster too
10:59 PM
lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 30/04/2020 11:00 PM
Okay, I'm going to close up and go work the heavy bag. See you all tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:00 PM
Good morning everybody!
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Good morning @everyone
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Good morning @Moderator -- Subduction and @Ghastles ! How are you guys doing this morning?
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<hides out of @Moderator -- Subduction 's allseeing gaze>
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:01 PM
Going great -- busy times for Leaves, but good.
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Good morning all! Hope everybody's feeling some positivity today
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Good morning fellas 🙂
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Good Morning guys, first time here
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:02 PM
Morning @Papa Johns , welcome back!
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Hey @IssaBLR, feeling great! way better than yesterday
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Morning everyone!
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Welcome @Sethes!
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@Sethes Welcome to the chat, how's your quit going?
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:02 PM
Hey @Sethes , welcome!
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Damn my phone 😤
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I'm feeling lots @Gorgoleon bright and sunny here in downtown indy! What's up @Papa Johns !
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@IssaBLR what about you?
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:02 PM
Hi @hydeta , good to see you!
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@M1NDFEEDER were you blind / couldnt find it? <runs>
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@Ghastles doing good, I'm about to head out and get some errands done, haven't been out the house for a bit so I'm excited to get out lol
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Honestly? I'm on day 5 and I'm having a really,really rough time with anxiety.
4:03 PM
but sticking to my guns
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@IssaBLR Hurray!
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:04 PM
We here that a whole lot @Sethes
4:04 PM
*hear
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greetings
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No being automodded out ahahah @Ghastles
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@Sethes Congrats on 5 days! Changing habits can be difficult and the first few weeks can be the hardest.
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Hi guys.. I totally messed up the last two days but starting again day 1 today 😒
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my phones daily proverb is "some search for happiness, others create it"
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What it dooo @Deleted User ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:05 PM
Any particular recurring thoughs, @Sethes or just generalized?
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Reason 602 why I don't like discord. Day 78 quick hello goodbye and back out
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And hey @holly I'm happy to see you back!
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@M1NDFEEDER Glad to see you here, have a good day!
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@M1NDFEEDER thank you for gracing us with your presence. 🙏
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Stay strong @M1NDFEEDER !
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:06 PM
Good to see you @M1NDFEEDER , keep checking in!
4:06 PM
So fill us in @holly ...
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:06 PM
okay 1 day sober from weed!
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I don't feel the urge to smoke or miss it at all, its the anxiety...it was the reason i quit in the first place...I felt the weed was actually causing it cause I've messed with my brain chemistry....I think its general.....I just have the huge knot in my stomache, blood pressure up and just this awful feeling
4:07 PM
of course, temp fluctuations. I get hot and sweaty and then cold and goosebumps come along with it too
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@Moderator -- Subduction long story.. don’t want to bog up the chat with an essay
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I never thought I could have such an intense reaction to weed
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@Sethes a lot of people dont
4:08 PM
but you arent alone!
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:08 PM
Those are very common withdrawal symptoms we see. A lot of that is your biochemistry readjusting, and will fade with time.
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@Sethes I had the exact same and was shocked too, it can make you feel so rough
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@holly @Reality Winner I've found that focusing on practicing good habits every day has helped immensely. Shifting from short-term reward habits to long-term reward habits has been key.
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will it? Im SO scared that I've messed myself up permantly (maybe this is anxiety talking?).
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it definitely will @Sethes
4:09 PM
be strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:10 PM
Yes, it's the anxiety talking, but anxiety needs to be respected. Saying it's anxiety doesn't make it not real. For anxiety, the regulars here know that I like to recommend a book to people -- "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Have you run across it yet @Sethes ?
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<hugs tightly>
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@Moderator -- Subduction I have no but I will look it up immediatly
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:11 PM
It's a cognitive behavioral therapy program that is great for anxiety
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:11 PM
I don't really feel an urge
4:11 PM
I haven't slept though.
4:11 PM
my sleep was always shit
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:12 PM
@holly It is why we're here, but that's fine. 🙂
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I've never experienced anxiety or panic attacks like this before....it all started AFTER I was smoking weed for a few months....I even made life changes to cure my anxiety and it persisted.....it persisted to the point that I had anxiety for no reason....so i thought logically it had to be something going on chemically with my brain
4:13 PM
and the anxiety didn't start at first it just crept up over months of use i guess, daily use.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:13 PM
@Sethes Your entire existence is something going on chemically in your brain. 🙂
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but i didn't exist like this before 😦
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@Sethes Have you been meditating, working out, or anything like that?
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:14 PM
You'll rebalance with time. These are very common withdrawals
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:14 PM
If it helps my SO smoked weed since he was 14 and quit by the time he was 17 or 18. He said it was because of anxiety but now he is completely fine!
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@Gorgoleon yes i have been. i do weights and jog. I've kept it up in hope of getting as much of this out of my body as quick
4:15 PM
@Reality Winner it does.
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Glad to hear that, exercising is one of the best long term reward habits
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It cripples me...when i go out i just get this huge anxiety attack but when i get to the place and kinda calm down i'm fine
4:16 PM
thats why i just feel things are miss-firing in the noggin
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How do you cope with mental health along side it? Like it’s like I either need to eat my feelings, hurt myself, or smoke, and in my head smoking is always the lesser of 3 evils. People say things like go for a walk or whatever but when you can barely breathe from crying and it feels like your whole insides ache it’s too hard, idk how to handle it
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except for right now....i just feel anxious constant as i'm detocing
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Really sorry if anything there shouldn’t have been said
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:17 PM
I wouldn't say that I had anxiety when I was quitting, it was more like persistent, 24-hour-a-day terror. Unrelenting terror about myself, my situation, and my future. It faded as I got further from my habit and started reengaging with a productive life.
4:18 PM
@holly, are you being treated for other things, or have you in the past?
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@Moderator -- Subduction I was about to say, I suppose my answer is that it’s a separate issue and I need to learn to approachh them separately. I have BPD, was medicated when I was younger but alongside that would often self harm, until I was 18 and started smoking weed and I haven’t hurt myself or been on medication since then. I claim to be high functioning but I think I just mask everything with weed. I just don’t want to be on medication again because my experience is thay it makes everything worse
4:21 PM
I think i just need to acknowledge the issues are still there and I should probably seek help separately for that. I don’t wanna keep ranting about unrelated things here or trigger anyone else for anything similar
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It can be tough, but you've gotta take that step and practice good habits every day.
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I don’t think I’m in a productive mindset to be part of this chat right now so I’m gonna go for now. Thanks anyway x
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Hey guys this is my first time joining the discord. So I quit ripping about 4 days ago and have been absolutely exhausted these past few days.. I wake up so damn tired even though I’ve been surprisingly getting a decent amount of sleep each night. Is this just my body catching up on REM sleep? I’m so damn tired!
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:22 PM
@holly Well, with smoking weed you've been on pretty powerful medication with a lot of side effects, but you're heading in the right direction. There are so many new, non-medical therapies for BPD, it's worth engaging with a therapist, even online, and start talking those through.
4:23 PM
Quitting takes out a huge complicating factor in sorting out your mental health. You're creating an opportunity for yourself here.
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@kmalt Welcome, glad to hear you're getting off the weed and nicotine!
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@kmalt I've had similar symptoms. The dreams I had were so crazy that they kept waking me up. I think you spend a lot more time in REM than you're used to when quitting the ganja.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:23 PM
Hi @kmalt welcome! 4 days is great.
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Thanks guys!
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Yes I felt tired and demotivated for a while too
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Yeah my symptoms haven’t been too bad honestly just some night sweats here and slight headaches. I just feel exhausted
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i'm on day 5 and my sleep quality is trash myself
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Two nights ago I slept for 10 hours and woke up so out of it lol
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tossing and turning and waking up with night sweats
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I guess I’m lucky I can even sleep that much to begin with tho
4:25 PM
I’ve been downing water and tea every day
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I had trained my reward pathways in my brain to crave weed and when I starved it of weed it stared me of that sweet dopamine. I was a lazy stoner so I had to work hard at changing a lot of bad habits.
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Does it make sense that I feel that my symptoms comes in waves? Like I'll feel fine for a bit and then it will wash over me.
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Definitely makes total sense
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@Sethes are you getting any exercise?
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@snowfreak221 yes i do weightlifting and jogging
4:28 PM
i am down in weight like 8 lbs in a5 days
4:28 PM
=/
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Congrats, are you trying to lose weight?
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Sounds like you're crating good habits though. I struggle with appetite.
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You are your habits. I've been meditating and journaling my goals. The 7 Habits book has a great section in it about journaling effectively.
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part of qutting is treating myself the way i deserve to be
4:30 PM
at least i think that
4:31 PM
so ideserve to be healtht, so i kept working out
4:31 PM
My main issue is the anxiety i feel
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Been working on skills/education, any hobbies, dating, or anything like that?
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I've got to plan my wedding so theres that
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Ahh, grats
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:32 PM
whats the book again
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@Gorgoleon meditation and Journaling really help me also. It helps calm my monkey mind and sort my thoughts.
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7 Habits of Highly Successful People. Pretty classic book
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I second journaling, really is a fantastic habbit to build. Especially because you can really use it however you find it helps you best!
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@Reality Winner i believe it was "Feeling Good" by David Burns.
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@snowfreak221 Exactly. Helps center me and make sure I'm working on long-term reward habits every day.
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if its the one that subdcution sent me
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:33 PM
I have a toxic habit of journaling lol
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THere are def many ways to journal lol
4:34 PM
@Reality Winner How is your journaling habit toxic?
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:35 PM
I just have years worth of notebooks filled with calories and macros and my thoughts
4:35 PM
Makes me sad to see and read how I spent my teens up till now.
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I previously saw a doctor about my anxiety and panic attacks adn they prescribed me xanax to take as needed. Is it a completely insane idea to take one of those during these high anxious period? I just feel that if I'm resetting my brain the last thing I should do is throw in something else.
4:36 PM
I hope I am not dominating any chat but its so nice to have people to talk to
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Personally, Xanax scares me.
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@snowfreak221 i agree, thats why i used very sparingly in the past and even then would break a pill in half
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:38 PM
@Sethes (and everyone) discussion of medications are really outside our scope, you should follow what your doctors tell you, but make sure they are the right kind of doctors. Get medications for your state of mind from a psychiatrist.
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@Moderator -- Subduction understood 110%, apologies if this was agaisnt the rules
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Ya, I'm no doctor. My bad.
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i really appreciate you guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:39 PM
@Sethes And be honest with them. Tell them everything you're taking and using, and what your preferences are.
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whoopz. tottally spaced out, forgot i was here
👍 2
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@Sethes You should trust your doctor over us here in the chat. Maybe talk to them about some exercises you could do without medication.
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@Ghastles I'm creeping in the shadows on this convo as well lol
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some pretty good book reccomendations here today
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i lost my health insurance, i'm trying to get on some again
4:40 PM
so i can't go right now unfortunatly
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Yeah, there are often times lots of speed bumps. Sometimes you bottom out going over them, too.
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i would highly reccomend the unbearable lightness of being by Milan Kundera. Not a traditional self improvement book, but found it really helped my journey to wellness in the past
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The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg was a good book for me and very entertaining.
4:43 PM
The Easy Way to Stop Smoking helped for my cigs and was easy to draw lots of parallels to weed.
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@Gorgoleon I'll check out The Power of Habit!
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@snowfreak221 Anything you've read recently?
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did you guys go cold turkey or taper off?
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Have two full cords of wood to chop today. gotta say, taking my aggression out on those poor innoccent logs, has been SUPER useful
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I recently read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. He's a goofball but his message is helpful honestly.
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@Ghastles I'm definitely going to check out that novel. Have been meaning to read more of them. Recently finished the Alchemist and it was great!
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bit anxious that i will get high by chopping again, but also know, its a good way to get cannabinoids out of my system
4:48 PM
@Gorgoleon great, hope you enjoy it!
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@@snowfreak221 I recently got finished with that one and I agree it was a great insight on what's important and what's not.
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@snowfreak221 I've heard that's a good one lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:50 PM
@Ghastles Didn't you post about coming across a grizzly kill? Do you live in the forest? Not many grizzly kills or wood chopping here where I am in Arlington, VA
4:50 PM
yeah i did
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 4:50 PM
chopping?
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I use to live in my provinces capitol city, @Moderator -- Subduction , but after my mom passed i came back to my hometown
4:51 PM
which is surrounded by woods and swamp
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:52 PM
It's amazing to me how so many people from so many backgrounds/countries/families all end up here for the same reason.
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i needed the change of pace and the less stressful environment, and because of it, i was able to wuit!
4:53 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction it absolutely IS amazing!
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@Ghastles Sounds cool, do any hunting or fishing?
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Bow hunting, and a bit of fishing... mostly throwing the line in the river and sleeping in the sun all day
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:55 PM
That's my kind of fishing. (It's also my kind of exercise)
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@Moderator -- Subduction its a really awesome sensation, that everyone is so.... uniquely and utterly different, but brought together by coon suffering, or desire for betterment
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Thank you everyone for being my shoulder and letting my vent
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-sensation+phenomenom
4:56 PM
<hugs @Sethes >
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I've gotten alot of great info from here
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:57 PM
I've seen posts from sooo many countries on r/leaves. Nearly every part of the world. It makes me really happy. 🙂
4:57 PM
So happy you found us @Sethes
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what about yourself @Gorgoleon
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I live in a medium-largeish city. Working toward getting my place in the mountains lol
4:58 PM
Trying to decide between Colorado or Arizona 😄
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Really great group here, sorry couldn't contribute much but awesome discussion today! Talk to yall later and have a good day!
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In the midwest plains USA now tho
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time today. More new faces today -- very exciting to see you all arrive! Hope to see each of you again!
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gave a great day @IssaBLR it was wonderful to see you
4:59 PM
stay strong @everyone !
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Alright everybody -- closing the doors. I have wood to chop and grizzlies to fight. See you at 5!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
Avatar
⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hi everybody!
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!loungehello!
10:01 PM
bot's smart
10:01 PM
<3
10:01 PM
How are you guys doing today?
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:01 PM
Nah, DaveBot is rough to work with. He has a real attitude problem.
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hello everybody! my first chat was yesterday, I'm back today because last time was fun
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Welcome back @Albert C. , Hello @Laria! (edited)
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Solid @Laria - got up way too early to catch some Taiwanese baseball and I was reminded that I get cravings on sleep-deprived days since it alleviates some of the crappy feelings. Just trying to deal with feeling bad lol. How about you?
10:03 PM
welcome @Albert C. good to have ya
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:03 PM
I still haven't slept
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@Albert C. u been looking into any hobbies mate
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@yames It's okay to feel bad, but i'm glad you have been keeping it up
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@Laria how many days are u clean now?
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:04 PM
@Reality Winner Have we tossed the mega sleep thread at you for advice yet?
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1 w 4 days!
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:04 PM
Nope
10:04 PM
Sorry I don't really use reddit!
10:04 PM
I lurk sometimes
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really nice i remember when u just started and we chatted on here
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I want to say it gets easier but it dosen't. It will be worth it
10:04 PM
Yea, I remember it too. How many days do you have?
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I’m on day one. I’ve just been in this never ending cycle of deciding to stop smoking permanently but picking it up again a week later
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@Deleted User Im baking bread now,
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i actually lost count earlier today but i tracked it and it's 40 days now, although it just seems slow because i already got pretty far you know?
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@Albert C. that's awesome
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:05 PM
@Reality Winner We have a user who posts some great posts on sleep. Have a look: https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
12 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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@Laria im one of those pandemic bakers
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read that as im baked for a second there
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:06 PM
Hi @Hans Zimmy Welcome!
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Hey there
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lol, just baking bread
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:06 PM
@Hans Zimmy Day 1 is great, and we all know that cycle.
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@Hans Zimmy let's hope this is de good one
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some people make it seem like all their problems go away when they quit for a certain period of time u know what i mean
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@Deleted User is that a joint in your profile picture? 😰
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yeah man that picture is 1 year old
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Yeah, luckily I found this group so hopefully this keeps me accountable 🙂
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I think quitting is like winning the lottery. You still have to live with yourself, even now that you're rich
👍 2
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im out. Have a great day /leavers
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:08 PM
What's your living situation like @Hans Zimmy Other smokers? Do you keep a stash?
10:09 PM
Good to see you @Ghastles !
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yeah that's a pretty decent analogy @Albert C.
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yeah I don't think it solves everything quitting. That's why i started smoking in the first place
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if anything, the problems come to the surface after being swept under the carpet
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But at least quitting will give me a new perspective
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u still got any withdrawals @Laria
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@Moderator -- Subduction A throw away the rest of my weed last night. However, it’s pretty easy for me to get weed in my neighborhood unfortunately.
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@Deleted User Thank mate, analogy is a useful tool
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Good afternoon everyone! I hope everyone has had a decent day! And great to have you here @Hans Zimmy !
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Yes, I do. But I haven't gave up. I understand it's a hard process Yesterday was about to smoke because I did an economy essay and reading about this whole situation was depressing
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:12 PM
@Hans Zimmy Still, that's good progress. Any delay between having a craving and smoking helps.
10:12 PM
@hi @IssaBLR !
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@Moderator -- Subduction what kind of stuff did you get into to keep your mind off smoking
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hey @IssaBLR how are you? Thanks a lot for the dm of the other time. I'm sorry I didn't answer but it did had a possitive impact for me 😄
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except for wrestling with grizzlies that is
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my musical taste is changing. I can now relax and listen to full albums and discover songs.... instead of only listening to the hits idk
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:13 PM
@Deleted User 🙂 I was a music major in college, so I picket the trumpet up again, switched from classical to jazz, and started doing gigs around NYC.
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@Moderator -- Subduction you still into music? What kind of stuff do you do the day today
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@Laria no problem at all! I'm just happy to see you again and still see you going strong. 😊 I'm doing good though just got washed up after a long run and about to go play some dnd lol
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I just had a run too! I always feel better after doing some work out
10:15 PM
But before that I was feeling trashy lmao
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:15 PM
@Deleted User I'm not right now, but I just got the horn rehabed and now we're staring each other down. I got married two years ago and that changed my lifestyle quite a bit as far as doing whatever the hell I wanted is concerned. 🙂
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smoking for me was a small issue that helped me understand i have bigger issues to deal with.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:16 PM
But I'll get back to it
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and smoking does not help me solve them. lol
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I know how it is I was tempted not to do it @Laria but like my grandpa says theres never a run that he regretted going on
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Ah I see my friend 😄
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I have a trumpet, I can't play in my building though. It pisses off the management.
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Today is my day to quit. i hope all of you are doing well and getting through it 😊
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Honestly I don’t regret starting smoking. It kind of made me realize what it’s like to lose control of substance and thankfully it isn’t something I could overdose on.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:18 PM
Hi @katmescudi Welcome!
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@Albert C. just go play right outside the building then they cant do anything about it 😂
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Thank you!!
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However, I’m ready to move on, and I’m experience life without this dreadful haze.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:18 PM
@katmescudi How are you feeling so far?
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I want to *
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@katmescudi glad to meet you!
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@Albert C. yeah man go play it outside, they'll do nothing 😂
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:19 PM
@Hans Zimmy I'm not sure many of us regret how it began. Most of us just regret how it ended.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 01/05/2020 10:19 PM
hey guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:20 PM
Good to se you @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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@Hans Zimmy that first couple of days for me just seemed full of regret and anguish. But like we all say it gets better
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@katmescudi good stuff man welcome to the server
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@IssaBLR @Deleted User haha I used to play outside. I've just given up on it for now. It's a fun instrument though.
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sure does take a lot of practice and consistency
10:21 PM
i picked up my guitar for fun a couple weeks ago and i havent played for years but it was still there although i was sloppy as fuck (edited)
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@Albert C. its up there with the dream instruments I wish I could play, along with this group's favorite the banjo, and the drums.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:21 PM
@Albert C. I've checked with all my neighbors, they seem cool with it, but we'll see how they feel when I actually start playing.
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@Deleted User it's like riding a bike! Once you get in motion it seems like all the movements come natural
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i hope youre good at playing then @Moderator -- Subduction 😉
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:22 PM
We'll see.
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@IssaBLR yeah it really is, i was surprised how well it was since it's been years and I was on the piss as well
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Can you get evicted for bad trumpet playing @Moderator -- Subduction ? 🤔😂
😆 1
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@IssaBLR probably, if the landlord is uncool.
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:24 PM
Alright -- back on topic folks. 🙂
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@Albert C. hes definitely wouldn't be a trumpet player then 😎
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:25 PM
I'll send you all my mixtape when it's ready. 🙂 So I don't think we've talked about why you finally decided to quit -- anyone care to share?
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yeah man my mental health was deteriorating over the course of a couple years and my anxiety was getting worse and all that, that was a big factor for me, let alone all the other reasons like economy, social etc
10:26 PM
and i stopped giving a fuck about smoking inside the apartment so the landlord tried to kick me out as well
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You must love how obedient everyone is @Moderator -- Subduction I quit for mental health reasons and it also cost me my job and as previously mentioned to be present for something gnarly. I'll pipe up now 😆
😆 1
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:28 PM
smoking wasn't fun anymore
10:28 PM
It became like something I had to do
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Memory issues, anxiety, relationship problems, money, trouble focusing, problems at work.
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:28 PM
yeah the memory and focusing really sucks
10:28 PM
That's the worst imo
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agreed Lizeth
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Something that was addressed a earlier, after I had quite for a while I eventually wrapped up all pieces and buried them them in my closet. It was a HUGE relief.
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lost of enjoyment in things i enjoyed prior.
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:28 PM
Not to mention my brain already having memory issues due to malnutrition and starving all the time
10:29 PM
Weed makes it worse than it ever qaa
10:29 PM
Was*
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I started to feel like I was losing my mind, between panic attacks while smoking and having panic attacks not having weed to smoke. I felt so unproductive with my life and losing my time to it. It was like I was stuck in a vicious cycle in a dirty washer lol
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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@Reality Winner you might be breathing better now too. The coughing is pretty hard to justify.
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Also I was developing a fear of leaving the house. That was really getting to me because I like going outside.
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I feel you
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Does anyone really miss the excessive throat flem (flegm)
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Relate @IssaBLR think the only place I went in the last month of using was my dealers
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I would drive an extra 5 mins to buy cigs just because I felt less paranoid in that gas station
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@M1NDFEEDER right? It seemed like they would be my friends or family how much time I dedicated to them.
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:35 PM
Really my dealer just delivers lol
10:35 PM
made it easy for me I guess
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happilyabbily 01/05/2020 10:36 PM
My local dispensary started doing a drive up service. Made it way too easy.
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i would get nervous and mispronounce things at mcdonalds when I was high because I was so nervous about saying it right
10:36 PM
dont miss that
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For me it was a smash and grab job get a months worth and back home and binge. But yeah that last month stopped even buying food. I was ready to die or quit 🤷🏼‍♀️ @IssaBLR 79 days in... I made the right choice 💛
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i got addicted to distillate/cartridges
10:37 PM
made it way too easy to smoke everywhere.
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@M1NDFEEDER that is what's up congrats!!! I cant wait to get that far, I'm on day 25 after 10 years of smoking consistently with one small hiatus and I can agree it's been one of the best choices I made so far.
10:39 PM
@Xtreme that was a big problem for me too, at one point I had to taper off the carts back to the leaf because I built up such a high tolerance.
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I also blame weed for my eyesight deteriorating. Fucks sake 🤷🏼‍♀️
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eh eye sight deteriorates anyway
10:40 PM
in most cases
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@M1NDFEEDER I was born with crappy eyes too so I didnt have that going for me in the first place. 😂
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:41 PM
I stopped carts because it was too easy and then I switched to pure flower and it worked for a bit
10:41 PM
Made it a bit harder for me to smoke
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Yes due to aging but I don't like thinking I'm getting old 😆
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getting old isn't for the weak, that's what i've been hearing
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Here's a question, if someone had told you that this would happen if you smoke weed would you have believed them? That it's so destructive and addictive? Or would you have not believed them or done it anyways?
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@Reality Winner I'm with you there it made it easier to vape at work and that was a big issue at one point.
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i was young and invincible. i would have done it anyways
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when i was young, i didnt think i would live past 30 anyways
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Honestly when I was smoking I thought weed was a cure-all
10:44 PM
legalization was in full swing
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Yeah I didn't think I'd make 30 but here i am (plus change) 😭
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@Default those were my feelings too, had a fascination with the 27 club so it was just another thing to get me to be a rockstar 😎😂
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I thought everybody was and should be smoking
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Reality Winner 01/05/2020 10:45 PM
I decided that I was going to end up dying if I continued this route. Weed just numbed all the pain I felt from the self harm I do to myself and I'm still doing it but at least I can feel it now and not pretend it's not there. Hopefully I stop binging at midnight before bed too.
10:45 PM
I lost almost 10 pounds from quarantine alonen
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ah gee. ive gained 8
10:46 PM
getting tubby
10:46 PM
what kind of self harm you talking about?
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at the time i didn't understand that there were people who had gone their whole lives without touching the stuff
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@Albert C. it seems that's what everyone is taught these days, cannabis dependency is a new idea that we should've seen coming but we like to ignore hindsight. Of course it might help people calm down, but for some of us addicts we cant stop using it as a crutch.
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I didn't wanted to smoke because I knewit was going to happend something like that 😦
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@Albert C. "you mean you can have fun without getting high??" 😱
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But I did rip
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Problem is, unlike booze we only harm ourselves so it creates less stigma. Although it's not that black and white of course. Nothing is
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lol me too. never got into cigarettes because of addiction and cancer and all that
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@IssaBLR maybe it helps some people for me and many people, especially on here, it just causes trouble.
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@seagus
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Weed also has the "oh hell yeah its cool to take a day off to smoke all day sometimes" mentality to it, but if you told someone you were gonna take the day off and binge drink theyd be like "wtf?"
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@M1NDFEEDER yea, but thing most ppl dont realize is that by worsening ourselves, we minimize how we can make other people's lives better if we were sober. so being high all the time is kind of harming those around us.
10:50 PM
instead of taking my girlfriend for a nice dinner and walk around the pier, im going to get high
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Yeah exactly @Default the impact on family friends too... But it's less BOOM destructive that booze (edited)
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kinda thing
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@Albert C. yessir it's a drug just like every drug out there, theres a circumstance for it but like most drugs out there, people with our mentality end up abusing it
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I am supose to just be taking a break but I am really afraid of not being able to be responsable If I do it again
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And that is how weed destroys a relationship with someone who doesnt do it @Default
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Also one thing I want to add. I don't think anyone regrets being sober.
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I used to regret needing to be sober for my university courses and work
10:52 PM
but that is addiction and habit
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@Laria break free completely then
10:53 PM
I don't miss it
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That's what i'm thinking about
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@Laria I sounds like you have a plan, how long is the break for?
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It was ruining my life
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for any addiction, cold turkey has been shown to have the best long term results
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I can't be sure how much weed was ruining my life and how much I was blaming my shortcomings on it (mostly related to career development), but at the end of the day I was convinced that it was the cause, and I didn't feel like I could advance at all while still being on it.
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Quick check in before close, still sober coming up on about 5 days after my slip
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I always like what @Moderator -- Subduction says. When you're feeling bad you can always make the choice to smoke, but do it tomorrow. Sorry if I said it wrong but hopefully the message is still there lol
🙂 1
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It's not like you haven't got support round you @Laria HERE
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I still feel lazy and unmotivated but now I don't have a substance to obsessively blame and agonize over. 🙂
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@yames yea, after I quit i started focusing on my job, and it became less of a "job". I ended up with a promotion and personally setting my sights much higher
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@Enzo there we go great job!
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At first It was suppose to be at least 2w but honestly I want to do it as far as possible. Now I kinda want to quit because I see my best friend, a strong stoner living like shit. I didn't noticed that before. Her apartment looks like trash
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@yames very true. But it was a massive part of my mental frailty. Which I still now have to work on
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Hopefully you guys can get more moderators. I usually get urges to smoke around 10pm at night so having this community would helpful during that time lol
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good job @Enzo
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And she looks like trash too lmao
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@M1NDFEEDER me too homie. it's a process
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:56 PM
@Hans Zimmy That is actively in progress. 🙂
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@M1NDFEEDER can't stomp on my shortcomings with drugs any longer. gotta face them and overcome!
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We got this, see you guys tomorrow 🙂 !
10:56 PM
Well, a few minutes more oops
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Well everyone I'm about to hop off here and go roll some dice, everyone have a great rest of their day and stay strong!
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Well win it though right? The battle 💪🏻@yames
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@M1NDFEEDER 100%
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@Laria exactly. at a certain point its good to realize that there is more to life than hedonism.
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@M1NDFEEDER just gotta stick to it so we don't repeatedly go through the early stages over and over lol
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Oh well done @Enzo 5 data is major
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DND Dice? @IssaBLR 🙂
10:58 PM
Have a great night everyone!
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@Laria two weeks is a good start.
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🙂 take care all, ill try check in tomorrow too at one point or another
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern time today. Even more new faces today, this place is really growing! Hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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Adios!
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Yeah I'm done with that. My next step is therapy not the bong 😉 @yames
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Yessir! @Erp
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if anyone needs to vent or whatever, you guys can always message me. 2 years here
10:59 PM
later all and good luck!
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Thanks, that's good to know
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Keep it up everyone !!!! proud to be part of this community with y'all. It's been essential
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Keep it up everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 01/05/2020 11:00 PM
Okay all, closing the doors, I have a trumpet to go stare at. See you soon!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hi everybody! Please introduce yourself and say hello!
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Good morning, I'm Ghastles, an annoying grumpy cat who acts like every day is monday! This is day 10 for me. How is everyone doing this morning?
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WHERE is everyone is my question 😳
4:04 PM
Well done @Ghastles double digits is awesome 😊and cats are cool
4:04 PM
Oh erm my bad Day 79 feeling fine and totally hiding from reddit
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yeah, was super suprised, usually theres a mob starting to type before @Moderator -- Subduction finishes his intro
4:04 PM
Hi m1ndfeed (edited)
4:05 PM
feed
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:05 PM
lol, we're still new at this, but Saturdays can be a little more peaceful than weekdays here.
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Guess I shouldn't whizz in whizz out today then huh
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congrats on 79!
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So what's your biggest positive so far then @Ghastles?
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wellllllll
4:06 PM
last night i had a series of super violent movie like dreams
4:06 PM
that was pretty great!
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I've always been on the fence about dreams. Not having them was an advantage of smoking for me but it does the brain good having them so what's a few nightmares and wall punches in the grand scheme of things right?
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not sure why, but those arent really nightmares for me - I enjoy them, and find writing inspiration and ideas from them :D
4:09 PM
or i did 20 years ago atleast
4:10 PM
But no, in all honesty, i think... its that i have done more productive things in the past 9 days than in 9 years!
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That's such a win!
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what about yourself? what do you find to be the most positive change since you started?
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Get as many things set up while you have the motivation to and build all them good habits up while you have momentum
4:11 PM
what about yourself? what do you find to be the most positive change since you started?
@Ghastles no idea 🤷🏼‍♀️😆
4:11 PM
Just not abusing myself is good I guess
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hugs Seagull
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Squark!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:13 PM
good morning everyone
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The name by the way is a reference to a book I read which had an effect on me recently
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oh? what book?
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Morning / afternoon @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:13 PM
Good morning @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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Jonathan Livingston Seagull
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:13 PM
day 6
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Guten morgen @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
4:14 PM
day sixxxxxx!
4:14 PM
great job!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:14 PM
mild cravings, but not too bad
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Good Morning Yall!!
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came pretty close to relapsing last night, but forced myself to fall asleep
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Day 13 aand going strong!! can't believe I'm here!!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:15 PM
just put up my greenhouse to get ready for the end of the world
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:15 PM
Morning tcg!
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👋🏻 How's the eyes / skin? @~*ALiCiA*~
4:15 PM
Good use of time @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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haha hey @M1NDFEEDER haha doing great! feeling better than I imagined.
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omg @~*ALiCiA*~ You're avarar is the only barney character i liked
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Good stuff 😊 @~*ALiCiA*~
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@Moderator -- Subduction I have exciting news!! I'm purchasing a banjo and going to start playing again. I didn't really make the connection till yesterday but I stopped playing the banjo when I started smoking weed...
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congrats on day 13!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:16 PM
i play banjo too!
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hahah @Ghastles iconic... truly!
4:16 PM
WHAT!
4:17 PM
i love that @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !!!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:17 PM
yee. banjo, guitar, bass, and singing
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there's several of us here that play them which is funny.
4:17 PM
whaaaat
4:17 PM
amazing!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:18 PM
Who knew banjos were the real gateway drug.
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so @Darknet Shrimp Merchant @~*ALiCiA*~ , what do you see to be your best improvements this far in <totally steals @M1NDFEEDER 's bit>
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hahaha @Moderator -- Subduction
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@Moderator -- Subduction lmfao
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:19 PM
im doing more than just sitting around stoned playing video games
4:19 PM
making plans for the future
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@Ghastles definitely and improvement in mood regulation and anxiety (minus withdrawals) I feel more active in my every day life and active in my relationship with myself and friends.
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just dropping by quickly; one month clean today after 10 years, i made a little rant about cravings earlier on the sub; still going strong tho ! wishing strength to you all 🙂
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yay! congrats @félix !!!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:20 PM
good job
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that's amazing!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:21 PM
Hi @félix -- 30 days, congratulations! Keep going!
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Nothing wrong with a quick visit @félix well effing done💛
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that's amazing @félix
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Thanks to you all !! :)
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@M1NDFEEDER what was Johnathan Livingston Seagull about? in what way did it affect you?
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It's hard to explain without giving it away but
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Never thought I could go one day without but here I am. Relapsing will make me go longer without, not today tho ! Peace 😀
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It's literally about a Seagull who is an outcast and the journey he goes on. It's very short, read it in 45 mins
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♥@félix
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:23 PM
Good to see you @félix !
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oooooooh
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:24 PM
i've been reading stoicism stuff, that's been pretty helpful
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Yeah I have loads of Stoic stuff to read. Fantastic and wise stuff
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the first noble truth: life is suffering
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which stuff @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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And considering how old the works are, so relevant to today still. Guess the human need for understanding and a place in the world will never change
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:26 PM
no books yet, just random quotes on the stoicism subreddit
4:26 PM
and the daily stoic podcast
4:27 PM
i need to buy some books on amazon but it takes so long
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No kindle or similar?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:27 PM
i have but the screen is cracked
4:27 PM
have one*
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i need to buy some books on amazon but it takes so long
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant that's not very stoic 😋
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:28 PM
hahaha true
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Ah. I read some on my phone but if you need a big screen or physical book that won't do it
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:28 PM
The second noble truth: Amazon is suffering.
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3rd noble truth Amazon doesn't pay tax so good! 😆
4:29 PM
Unless you're referring to the forest at which point BAD
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I kid of course, its great that you are investigating philosophies, and deep diving into self awareness and discovery.
4:30 PM
hahaha @Moderator -- Subduction @M1NDFEEDER
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:31 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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<everybody turns into lurkers>
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Funny how a sober mind seeks meaning and a stoned one just weed
👍 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:32 PM
i just bought meditations
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Yeah that's meant to be a good starting point (edited)
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i actually find the opposite kinda @M1NDFEEDER
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:33 PM
3 weeks
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my stoned mind was crying in agony, searching for any kind of meaning or reason to continue.
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That's actually quite true. Perhaps I'm just a bit warped 😆 @Ghastles
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:34 PM
when i first started smoking it was like my mind opened up. as time went on i could only focus on the negative things
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my sober mind... is... content ish... for now
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I found the hunger for "more" grew as the cravings and affection for weed declined, but again I'm a bit warped
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i quoted this 2 days ago @Darknet Shrimp Merchant, and totally agree
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:35 PM
i've concluded that its ok to just be mildly content. i dont want to give myself high expectations or low expectations. i'll feel what i feel and adapt
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"the only thing he could do was dream, so his dreams turned dark"
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:35 PM
that's a good quote
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Content is the dream right? Happiness is just a myth to me (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:36 PM
coincidentally i started dreaming again
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Morning everyone, I'm just going to have to do a quick check in this chat, it's been a busy morning lol 26 days sober from weed! I'll talk to you guys later and stay strong!
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waits for Bondos war and peace novel
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:36 PM
Morning @IssaBLR good to see you!
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Good on ya @IssaBLR 💛
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Great to see you @IssaBLR ! 26 days!!! stay strong!! (edited)
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I'm going to bugger off now, going to hang out in a graveyard as you do. Peace love and emojis all 💛
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:38 PM
have a good day
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have a great day @M1NDFEEDER! cant wait to hear about 80!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:39 PM
Always good to see you @M1NDFEEDER
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Someone sent me a pretty personal message last night about a post, while i was really low, and the timing of it was... divine... / really inspiring.
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Hello, my name is hunter, I'm on day 97 and wondering how it took me so long to find this discord lmao
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really appreciate the support that comes from here, the boards, and all the amazing people here
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:43 PM
hey hunter, good job!
4:43 PM
yeah this channel has been huge
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:43 PM
Hi @HunterFow , well, we're only a little over a week old, but I'm glad you did -- welcome!
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@Ghastles ngl the subreddit got me through the first 40 or so days
4:43 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction thank you! Glad to be here
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hey @HunterFow 97 days is AWESOME! welcome to the channel!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:43 PM
how have you been feeling?
4:43 PM
very curious what its like that far in
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I have very little anxiety now which is probably the best thing tbh, I'm more confident by far, and I have crazy ass dreams that i can actually remember which is awesome
4:45 PM
I quit smoking after ten years of daily smoking cause it started giving me panic attacks and massive anxiety in everyday life, i was basically a shell of myself, struggled to go places and even going to work everyday was hard, life has improved very much after quitting
4:46 PM
Oh i almost forgot, i can remember shit now haha, that brain fog is finally gone and it feels great to just be clear headed
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:47 PM
i cant wait to be clear headed
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:47 PM
That's quite a change @HunterFow great to hear 🙂
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@HunterFow Wow! thank you for sharing that!
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For anyone who's still early on the best thing that helped me was replacement activities
4:49 PM
I was mostly addicted to the ritual of smoking, so finding stuff to replace that, getting new rituals really helps
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:50 PM
that's what i've been working on
4:50 PM
i keep thinking of that anthony bourdain quote
4:51 PM
“I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”
👍 3
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thats great @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:53 PM
I like that quote because it focuses on how strategic sobriety can be. A lot of people focus on willpower and strength, but as fighters always say, the best fighting strategy is to run away.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:53 PM
this quit has been a lot easier simply because im not fighting. im trying to use that energy on productive things
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thats very true @Moderator -- Subduction . will and brute strength can only get you so far imho
4:54 PM
might get you really really far
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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without strategy, you will always fail (even if its the simplest of strategies, if it works its all that matters)
4:57 PM
on the other hand, there's the Avengers way "Whats the plan of attack?" "plan? ATTACK" (edited)
4:57 PM
which i guess is a strategy in itself
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:58 PM
lol yup -- I think of it much more like an Art of War, Lao Tsu type battle. Your enemy is your addiction. How can you weaken it? How can you out maneuver it?
4:58 PM
👉Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! A very quiet morning this morning -- a peaceful change from our usual river of messages! Hope to see each of you soon!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 4:59 PM
alrighty, thanks a lot everyone. talk to you later, have a good day
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sorry sub, uh Laozi was a taoist phillosopher
4:59 PM
do you mean sunzi?
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 4:59 PM
Great to see you @HunterFow --hope we'll see you back.
5:00 PM
@Ghastles Yes! 🙂
5:00 PM
Although he still applies. 🙂
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Thanks y'all!
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great to see everyone today! hope to see you back @HunterFow !
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 5:01 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. I need to go research how the teaching of Marcus Aurelius can help me not pick up the banjo. See you later!
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abdolutely @Moderator -- Subduction !
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Closing...
5:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hi everybody!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hey @Darknet Shrimp Merchant good to see you!
10:01 PM
@here If your new or you're lurking just jump right in.
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Hello
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henlo am new
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:02 PM
hey @Albert C. !
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:02 PM
welcome
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:02 PM
Hi @NYX , welcome!
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i really like the goal of the sub, im working on quitting
10:02 PM
u all have great resources ty
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:02 PM
Where are you in your quit?
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well im working on staying off
10:03 PM
but i got rly hurt the other day so ive been kinda bad
10:03 PM
i know its no excuse
10:03 PM
im definitely in a better place than a few months back
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:04 PM
It's easy to make it your go-to when it's always been your go-to
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I mentioned this yesterday, quitting is like winning the lottery. The amount of mental resources that become available after quitting is pretty amazing. (edited)
10:06 PM
but many who win the lottery still end up broke. life has problems no matter what.
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It also has to do with my addictive personality, I have been on and relapsed other substances
10:06 PM
but im starting to mature out of that which is good
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Good afternoon everyone! Welcome to the group @NYX!!
🙂 3
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happy to be here 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:07 PM
What's your situation at home like @NYX ? it sounds like you have a stash still
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I do, but I am not buying excess which i normally do, and I am currently only using for sleep
10:08 PM
I have v bad chest pains for the last year it keeps me up
10:08 PM
but i gotta learn to do basic functions without the trees
10:08 PM
thats the goal
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:09 PM
What does your doctor say about the chest pains?
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Any chance the chest pains are smoking related...?
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:10 PM
Hi @M1NDFEEDER? How goes it?
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doc said it was dislocated rib, got it realigned 2 times and its still bad
10:10 PM
and now im out 800 dollars
10:10 PM
i love the USA
10:10 PM
its been so long
10:10 PM
and 2 days ago i fell off a cliff lol, got hurt even more
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:11 PM
fell off a CLIFF?
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Typical boring sober day so, just like a "normal" person I guess. Nothing to complain about 🙂 @Moderator -- Subduction
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Oy that sounds painful @NYX were you smoking at the time you fell? Sorry to hear that though man.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:12 PM
That'll do it @NYX . Doctors keep saying, "if you have a dislocated rib, don't fall off a cliff." 🙂
10:12 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Yay! Normal!
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sniggers
10:14 PM
"Normal" still weird though. Anyone having any issues today then? Or we all chugging along nicely?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:14 PM
mild cravings for me
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If that's all that's mega @Darknet Shrimp Merchant I say "all" it's still annoying
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I like the normal feeling sometimes, it's better than the abnormal feeling I got when smoking thats for sure. 😅
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I bought a different kind of tree today, American Black Elderberry
10:16 PM
I think it takes 3 years to fruit...
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That's pretty cool do you buy the saplings and plant them or do they start out as seeds? @Albert C.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:17 PM
Since only I'm allowed to post images...
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:17 PM
i put up my greenhouse today. tomorrow im gonna buy the stuff to start my seeds, then next weekend buy lumber to build some beds
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sapling, I'm going to keep it potted. @Darknet Shrimp Merchant RAD!
10:18 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I didn't even know that
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howdy all
🙂 3
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:18 PM
hello
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Hey @Default how you doing?
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hello, I guess abstinence is like growing a plant.
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a bit sick. getting swabbed for covid tomorrow. how are you doing? @IssaBLR
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It is according to the Grounded app @Albert C. 😆
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That's not good, have you been showing the common symptoms? I'm okay organizing up the house a bit, I bought some bookcases and shelves which is super exciting in my world 😂 @Default (edited)
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@M1NDFEEDER lol
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lol sounds riveting. yea, fever, headache, body aches kinda thing. im in the health care field, so they ask us to get swabbed even if we feel a lil sick.
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@Albert C. funny I said that kind of the other day, if you dont care for your sobriety like a plant it will sadly wilt.
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Even cacti die eventually 😏
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@Default I'd love to hear how the test goes, I haven't met anyone who's had it yet.
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@Default so if you do come out positive, hoping for negative though. Will they make you quarantine yourself? Or would they just wheel you right in?
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Seriously?! @Albert C. I've got 4 family members have it
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I had a friends dad pass away from it, he was in his seventies but a sad way to go because he had to be isolated.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:24 PM
man thats tragic
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@Moderator -- Subduction yeah lmao, I tried to follow my doctors advice but the cliff snuck up on me (edited)
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What a time to have clean lungs again
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm serious. I hope all your families persevere !
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im sorry to hear that @IssaBLR
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:25 PM
im still smoking cigarettes unfortunately. one quit at a time
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:25 PM
@NYX lol, no question they're quick 🙂
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Touching wood, they've all recovered @Albert C. but thanks 😊
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if its positive, they just ask to self isolate for 14 days and get a history of everyone you have interacted with in the past 2 weeks
10:26 PM
my fiance just got the swab done an hour ago. they stick a swab in your nose like 1.5 inches and swab for 10 seconds
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:27 PM
im looking forward to the gyms reopening
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im looking forward to the gyms reopening
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant this
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I saw the videos, they seem brutal. It looks like it touches your brain lol 🤢 @Default
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i cant wait until my gym re opens. i miss my eliptical machine
10:27 PM
lol pretty much
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Was one of my replacement habits
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They're opening up at the end of may for us here, still kind of hesitant to go though. Have you guys done any home workouts to replace the gym setting?
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i have a bench and pull up thing, but is harder to motivate myself when im home
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:29 PM
ive been doing pushups and some kettlebell stuff
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No @IssaBLR fuck that noise 😆
10:29 PM
I have to "go to the gym"
10:30 PM
Remember troll logic is how I operate
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:30 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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@M1NDFEEDER that's understandable it's hard for me to get into the zone with two orange cats staring at me sweat lol
10:31 PM
I noticed workout equipment prices skyrocketed when all this quarantine stuff started (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:31 PM
if gyms start going under that stuff will be real cheap
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I have a hand gripper-squeezer that I try to remember to use.
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Feed them lasagne they'll be too busy to watch... @IssaBLR
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@Albert C. I feel like that's a good thing to have when you have the cravings!
10:33 PM
@M1NDFEEDER unfortunately I will just end up eating the lasagna with them. 😅
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@IssaBLR it is like that
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Get a super heavy fork and call it a bicep curl?
10:34 PM
See? Outside the box thinking here
🙂 1
10:34 PM
But I'm hungry so I'm going to eat some not lasagne and cry about the gym. Have pleasant evening all. And don't smoke 😆💛
👋 1
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seeya!
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I like these ideas! I'll try sitting the plate under my face when I do pushups! Lmao have a good one @M1NDFEEDER !
10:35 PM
But what is everyone's go to activity when the cravings come up?
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on a good day, math homework
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:36 PM
@Albert C. knows how to kick back. 🙂
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Kudos! @Albert C. I couldn't do that on my best day lmao
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haha. I have plenty of other habits, good and bad, but homework is probably the most beneficial.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:38 PM
Most of my cravings at this point are fantasy cravings. Imagining I can smoke again -- thinking about just going away for a weekend. It gets more elaborate over time -- cabin, lake, etc.
10:38 PM
Destination cravings. 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction I can see what you're saying, it's like imagining the perfect scenario/setting for smoking again right? (edited)
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After I quite, I started having dreams where I'd be high, It's amazing how much it feels like real life. Sometimes it is scary.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:41 PM
i had a dream that i smoked and i was really upset about it
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:41 PM
@IssaBLR Yup. Usually all kinds of new products involved. I quit way before legalization, so there are all kinds of things I haven't tried.
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@Albert C. I had that exact dream last night! I dreamt I was smoking in Japan and it felt so real. I've never been there but it felt so real and was like I was there and experiencing it for real.
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It's incredible, I don't think I ever dreamed that way when i was using.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:43 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant My dream is usually that I smoke without thinking about it with a friend (I never used to smoke with friends) and then remember I have to go to some big important event.
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@Moderator -- Subduction that would be a big temptation for me in the future and I'm planning for it. I actually knew a guy I worked with who didnt smoke for years until the vape came out. He said it was a game changer from the stuff back in the day.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:45 PM
@IssaBLR It can be if you let it. But I tell myself that THC is THC. How does it matter how I get the molecule into my body? It's just a molecule no matter how they want to dress it up.
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Thinking about it, I think I miss the sensory details (smells and flavors/ect) more that actually being high. I'm pretty sure I don't like being stoned at all.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:47 PM
The rest of it is all stoner party conversation strains, spectrums, etc. We're here because of that molecule.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:48 PM
i could never taste or smell the difference
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:48 PM
Someone on the group addressed that @Albert C. and it stuck in my head. They asserted that it's because you associate all that with the high. Their example was "If you had been paid to roll someone's joints and sit around as they smoked, and then lost that job, would you be like 'I really miss that ritual...'" That made a lot of sense to me.
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@Moderator -- Subduction that's a very good way to think about that, thank you.
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:52 PM
How are you all dealing with cravings? For me, even after 21 years of not smoking I combat cravings going back to basic principles. "Sure, you want to go rent a cabin on a lake and get high for the weekend then great, you can absolutely do that. But are you going to do it this afternoon? No? Then work out all the details tomorrow..." 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction I think so. Also, I'm the type of person who likes to drink coffee, but doesn't like being wired. Or drinking beer, but not being wasted. For me the process is the addictive part.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:54 PM
it kind of stresses me out knowing that i will have to combat this my whole life
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant get a job that drug tests lol, half joking , but it might help.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:55 PM
im in a legal state, no tests for weed
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not necessarily
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:56 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant You won't. It's part of you now and it will always be there, but combat is not the right word. It's not a fair fight. I'm so experienced at this, as you will be, that your addiction doesn't stand a chance.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:57 PM
👍
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I don't know all the laws, but if you get a top secret clearance you might be tested still
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:57 PM
yeah only for jobs that do federal work
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I'm actually going have to head out, great talking to you guys and thank you for the discussion. Talk to yall tomorrow and stay strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:58 PM
Great to see you @IssaBLR ! See you soon!
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adios!
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 10:59 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern time tomorrow. Even more new faces today! Hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 10:59 PM
see ya later, have a good night
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Moderator -- Subduction 02/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay, I'm going to close the doors so I can go put fences around all the nearby cliffs. See you tomorrow!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 02/05/2020 11:00 PM
lol
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
Avatar
⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello everybody!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:00 PM
good morning
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Good morning
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hi everybody, 1 month and 1 day clean here ! still craving it and thinking relapse might be for today...but i might hold until tomorrow once again 🙂
4:01 PM
old habits get a while to go away huh
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Phone battery is about to go so a quick hello (I'm still going day whatever) and best wishes to all 💛
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:01 PM
today is one week for me
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Hey all, still sober just a quick check in, hopefully have a bit more time tonight
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Stay strong @félix and great job getting thid far
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:02 PM
Good to see you @M1NDFEEDER 🙂
4:02 PM
Hey @Enzo !
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant congrats ! one week is a biiiig step
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glad you're keeping up the struggle @M1NDFEEDER ! Good day to you!
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@Ghastles thank you 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:03 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant a week is awesome. 🙂
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:03 PM
Still sober!
🙂 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:03 PM
ayyy good job
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:03 PM
I don't have urges really
4:03 PM
No withdrawal yet?
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trying to get my spending under control
4:04 PM
so i bought an ardino, instead of a smart garage door opener (edited)
👍 1
4:04 PM
:/
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@Reality Winner the less you think about it...the easier it is
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:04 PM
i found a little jar of crumbs and threw that shit in the trash
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awesome @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
4:05 PM
way better than
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:06 PM
@félix yeah I guess I've been focused on "hobbies" like others suggested. I've just been listening to music and cleaning. Eating is still a struggle but I don't think its weed related.
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getting on your knees and searching for crumbs to smoke
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:06 PM
I do want to smoke a cigarette lol
4:06 PM
But I don't smoke other than Socially
4:06 PM
Learned ritual maybe
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:07 PM
don't start down that road, i wish i never started smoking cigarettes
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@Reality Winner that's good, my cig intake went wayyy up after going down to 2-3 cigs a day initially..
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probably because i had to stop exercising for a while as well
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:07 PM
Hm I just smoke with friends at shows sometimes, its never a regular thing
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:08 PM
my intake is dropping though. im like a polyaddict with weed, nicotine and caffeine. i used all three to balance each other out
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i couldnt imagine not having my vape in my hand slmost 24/7
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:08 PM
I used to do the same thing with caffeine!
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nicotine is terrible
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:09 PM
poorman's 8ball i believe its called
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speaking of which
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Same for caffeine, i always used to toke with a coffee. it's hard when you associate the two of those
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/me has cig :(
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Reality Winner 03/05/2020 4:09 PM
I used to use vaping to suppress my appetite but it makes me feel sick over time lol
4:10 PM
@félix I used to do that to help me study to help with memory because of weed. Because I felt I needed it to feel ok
4:10 PM
But I feel OK right now lol
4:11 PM
My productivity went crazy too, I went out and walked my dog. Finally installed my fan
4:11 PM
I'll wash my makeup brushes today lol
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i don't know where my productivity went for the past few days, maybe it's being in the environment where i used to smoke that makes cravings hit like crazy. always wanting to sleep and be comfy. aah, the escapism
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Morning everyone!
🙂 2
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it looks the productivity is coming in waves
4:12 PM
morning to you ! it's afternoon for me ^^
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morning @IssaBLR
4:13 PM
man, not sure what i would do, if this place ever became 24/7, such a crutch right now. (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:13 PM
my stomach feels horrible, i dont know if its the quit or what
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this school programming project is stressing me out, can't un-spaghettize my code without breaking it and it makes me wanna give in sometimes lol
4:14 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant it could be, did that to me for a few days after quitting
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:14 PM
ive been trying to learn python
4:15 PM
and javascript but that one was pissing me off
4:15 PM
going back to school for either compsci or cybersec
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Python is a very good entry point for programming, even though some people say the "lower level" you learn first the better (because you understand more how things happen on a level closer to the machine)
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@félix in those cases, i find it works vest to start over from scratch, BUT use the old code as a template / guide
4:16 PM
like treat your spaghetti like pseudo
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@Ghastles yeah i think i have to in this case. fresh start. i'm just making a mountain out of it and overcomplicating it for no reason (and laziness)
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:17 PM
I've heard a number of people say they think getting high made them better coders. I can't imagine.
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fuck that
4:17 PM
its like uh
4:17 PM
that episode of family guy
4:18 PM
when they start a band and think they sound amaxing
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@Moderator -- Subduction honestly i felt it can give you another perspective and help you unravel some problems at first, but then you get extremely slow and sluggish while coding obviously (edited)
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but are really just babbling and rolling in filth
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I remember when I was trying to learn how to code while smoking, the page looked like the matrix.
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:18 PM
...better drivers...better partners...better parents...
4:19 PM
drove 200km yesterday, first long drive sober
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lucky you !
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amazing experience. never again high
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i worked as a delivery guy on a scooter so much being stoned, i feel like going for a ride sober must be a breeze that i have to try
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:20 PM
idk how anyone can drive stoned. i can't even leave the house stoned without being completely paranoid
👍 2
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to be fair
4:21 PM
most of my drives were 2km to the dispensary
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant weirdly it worked out, i drove better than after just one beer, but it still fucks ur attention up
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because i was too lazy to walk
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:21 PM
my friend smokes dabs in his car while driving and that is just insane to me
4:21 PM
and dangerous
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:22 PM
the entire car is coated in it. enough that if he got pulled over they could charge him with possession solely based on the residue on the shifter and door handles
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im actually scared right now that if i get pulled over, my metsbolism will spike from fear, and i would fail an onsite blood test
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:23 PM
every time i get in the car im like dude it smells like dank in here and hes like oh shit are you serious. blows my mind
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant the sense of smell completely numbed...thats another reason to quit
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and tsdte
4:24 PM
you think food tastes good with munchies
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:24 PM
my dad smokes heavily so he doesn't have to take pain meds for his chronic pain. i couldn't smell it until the last couple days
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wait until you can actually appreciate the flavour
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my biggest reason to quit was the paranoia
4:26 PM
but when you look around there's so many other reasons
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Harvey Danger - FlagPole Sittah
4:26 PM
great song
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:27 PM
i think im naturally paranoid, not a good combo
4:27 PM
that's why im considering a cybersec degree
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant well i thought my life experience made me paranoid too...but nothing is forever
4:28 PM
there might be a fine line between awareness of your surroundings and paranoia that getting high suppresses, i'm not sure
4:29 PM
i can't get rid of my stash and it's making it sooo much harder for me, yet i still keep it
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 4:30 PM
ive heard of people keeping an unopen pack of cigs when they quit. i could never do that
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant exactly what i'm doing, bought some day 7 and i was so disgusted with myself that i didnt touch it
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Hi
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@Deleted User hello !
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:31 PM
Hi @Deleted User , welcome!
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I’m on my 7th day of quitting
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Congrats @Deleted User !!!
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It really feels nice I was smoking for 9 months heavily
4:32 PM
Thanks 🙏
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when i was a stoner i the city, before i got so paranoid i didnt leave the condo for months on end... i found myself mentally mapping every camera around me... not to avoid them, but so i would be always in them / safe and would get super panicked in dead spots (edited)
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The only trouble I’m having is sleeping and eating
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What made you want to quit @Deleted User ?
4:34 PM
@Ghastles I was feeling the same way. Always felt like someone was watching and judging every move I made. 👀
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:34 PM
We have a regular user who posts a link to sleep tips -- worth checking out: https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
11 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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Hypervigilance is one hell of rollercoaster @IssaBLR
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:36 PM
I lived in NYC when I smoked, and some elaborate fan system set up in my window to keep the smoke from going into the hall. Literally, in the middle of winter, I had a giant box fan in my window.
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@IssaBLR tbh i hate been addicted to stuff
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:37 PM
Fortunately my apartement ran hot anyway
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And when I found out I was I automatically addicted felt like stopping it to save my future (edited)
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@Moderator -- Subduction :(
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it kept me from doing so much...yet i still feel like "trying to moderate once again". ugh
4:38 PM
another proof i'm an addict. coming back to what hurt you
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:39 PM
That shows a real awareness @Deleted User , one I wish I'd had earlier.
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one negative since quitting is that my trypomania has come back, and I'm terrified if I ask a doc, he will put me back on meds. trying to be mindful of it, and catch myself when doing it... but its... not always that easy, especially when sleeping
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:42 PM
Have you explored other non-pharma treatments for that @Ghastles ?
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ish - again, mindfullness, when taking CBT
4:44 PM
when i had a partner, they would tie me down at night, which helped - and stopped another issue.
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:44 PM
CBT sounds like a good option.
4:46 PM
I found negative things coming back when I quit -- procrastination in particular.
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Yes, CBT is amazing in general, and honestly i think that it should be availible to everyone, to promote general wellness (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:48 PM
I agree, it's proving itself clinically in a whole lot of situations. That's why I recommend "Feeling Good" by David Burns so much. I actually heard about on Leaves, got it, and it was great. He should give me a commission.
4:49 PM
When procrastination comes back badly I find it's usually because something is really bothering me. Usually not the thing I'm procrastinating. So I do an inventory of my head.
4:51 PM
I have an (maybe overly) elaborate combination of systems to do my work. Kind of a hybrid. "Getting Things Done" to organize and prioritize my tasks, a Pomodoro-style timer to stay focused while working, and CBT inventory if I'm getting hung up on starting something. Nothing can escape that method in my experience. 🙂
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Thats awesome! Have been struggling with Focus as well, I might have to investigate the Pomorodo method more
4:55 PM
i had been trying to use Pareto's Principle to target when i do my work / be productive
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:56 PM
The part I took was having an audible ticking kitchen time running when you're working on a task. It helps you estimate task times better and the ticking shames you when you wander over to Instagram... 🙂
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but thats not so helpful if i cant focus during that time :p
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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oooooh
4:56 PM
yes
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:56 PM
You'd be surprised how that ticking gets in your head. 🙂
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in school i totally remember hearing the second's hand on the classroom clock tick (edited)
4:57 PM
would actually sit next to it on purpose :/
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:57 PM
And when you finish a task in less time than you put on the timer it feels like you just won the Olympics of Work.
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did t know there was actually something to that
4:57 PM
thank you @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! So good to see you all, and newcomers too! Hope to see each of you soon!
5:00 PM
👉 Closing the doors -- I'm going to go see if there's an Olympics of Work. Great to see you all. 🙂
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
Avatar
⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hey everybody!
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Hey Sub, hope you’re doing well mate
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello!
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Good afternoon everyone
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:01 PM
Afternoon checks time 23:01 here
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @Deleted User, @Ghastles
10:01 PM
Welcome @𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 !
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:01 PM
Good afternoon!
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Evening chaps
10:02 PM
Yeah it’s night time here
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:02 PM
Hello @maxatrillion. , welcome!
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Hello!
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:03 PM
A warm, occasionally sunny afternoon here in Washington DC
10:03 PM
How's everybody feeling?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:03 PM
hello
🙂 2
10:03 PM
feeling alright, cant really focus
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:04 PM
Very tired, drinking coffee at the moment
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exhausted, was chopping wood since last session
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Been relaxing, slow weekend. Grandmaster Flash is DJing live so that has had my attention
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feel like tyrell from mr.Robot 😝
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:05 PM
I’m brand new to discord, this is my first chat ever! Pretty cool app
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:05 PM
ayy im watching the last season of mr robot right now
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omg @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
10:06 PM
i wont spoil, but SO GOOD
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:06 PM
Glad you made it @maxatrillion. , where are you in your quit?
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:06 PM
8th day
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welcome to the channel @maxatrillion. , 8 days is AWESOME!
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:06 PM
That is great.
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:07 PM
Thanks. I’m loving the community you all have built
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:07 PM
this channel helps so much
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:08 PM
I'm new to this channel, hope you don't mind me joining
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:08 PM
Happy to have you @𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 , how long have you been quit?
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:09 PM
It's been 4 months, but yesterday I failed again...
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:10 PM
@𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟, well, like car accidents and driving, you don't want lapses to happen, but they do.
10:10 PM
What were the circumstances?
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Evening all 👋🏻
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same happened to me @𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 youre not alone buddy
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:12 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I'm having a tough time. All this lockdown messed up my university progresses. And my mental health is not giving its best either
10:12 PM
@Deleted User Thank you
10:12 PM
I mean, you folks seem nice
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Howdy all
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@𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 If you pass a single class you are making progress. I'm also a student (with no end in sight)
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im sorry you are struggling during the lockdown @𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:14 PM
I smoked my way out of college the first time, passing classes is a win
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I try to think of relapses as a chance to figure out what was going wronv with my recovery efforts so i might be able to correct it
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:15 PM
@Albert C. A logical part of me seems to agree. But I'm a teacher trainee. It's like I don't want to just barely pass my courses, as a future teacher
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Whoa dude
10:15 PM
We are here cuz we are trying to get our shit together
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Be kind people
10:16 PM
Relapses area indeed a way of learning
10:17 PM
Although obviously not a recommendation to do so
10:17 PM
But sharing the experience of them can help others too
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Just dont use it as an excuse to not just relapse in terms of use, but also in terms of lifestyle
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Yes I'm speaking to break the tension
10:18 PM
I hope I never slip or relapse but if I did I be here owning up to remind others (edited)
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@𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 as a teacher you'll probably have to teach students who are having a lot more trouble with school than the average student.
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:19 PM
👉 A reminder that most, if not all, people here are coming here because they are at the worst point in their lives so far. If someone loses their temper then please simply move on. the mods will take care of it.
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:20 PM
@Albert C. I agree. I guess it's a game of standing up from the ground to encourage others that it's possible
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I value ambition, but personally I try not get hung up on my ideas of how fast I should be making progress.
10:21 PM
@𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 anyway, good luck!
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:21 PM
@Albert C. thank you You too!
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Can anyone give me advice on cold dropping vs weaning off? I am down to 1 joint a day but am having difficulty getting below that
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In terms of progress, i try not to compare myself to others or how fast im expected to progress. I just try to be better than myself yesterday
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as i keep being told, and have started telling others, " it doesnt matter how many relapses you have on the journey, just that in the end you stay quit"
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I was going to cold drop but the urges came back in full force and I feel I should wean to stop that, but then I think me weaning is just an excuse
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Cold turkey worked for me. First 2 weeks was hell though
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:23 PM
I never had any luck with weaning, it always became a full time habit after a few days of trying to wean
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Yeah I figure cold turkey will work best, just trying to get past the first week has been so hard
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same @maxatrillion.
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Best to just rip off the bandaid in my experience
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When will I enjoy things again without the weed?
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@maxatrillion. @𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 If I may, why did you decide to quit?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:24 PM
the first couple days i didn't really enjoy anything. im on day 7 now and feeling better each day
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Hard to say. I had a hard time for a while, but started enjoying things more and more after a week or so
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant when did the urges stop?
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Months for me
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:25 PM
Im 34 and had been smoking for 20 years. I just felt it was now or never
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Still get them sometimes after 2 years
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Jesus months?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:25 PM
i still have slight urges but they're getting easier to ignore
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@Blizz you'll have new parts of your brain starting to work again, you'll probably need to give them some rest.
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the PAWS struggle is real :'(
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They decrease over time though. Now i can just recognize the urges and redirect my thoughts
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I’ve been smoking for nearly 2 years now
10:26 PM
I just want to be sober again
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:26 PM
“I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”
10:27 PM
anthony bourdain quote that helps me
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:27 PM
And unlike some people who can smoke and manage their lives, I’m definitely not that person
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Lol not hard to outwit a stoner
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@maxatrillion. Thats awesome. Congratulations on making that choice
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Is there anyone here that was using weed to help with their depression then gotten stuck with the weed making it worse?
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:27 PM
Thank you
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:27 PM
me 100%
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@Blizz yep
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Weed always makes depression worse long term. I had it a bit
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YAY a wild @M1NDFEEDER appears
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I was honestly so happy when I first started using weed for my depression and now I feel like it’s made everything 10x worse and I’m always riddled with anxiety and hella sensitive
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:28 PM
yep
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@Blizz it does that
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:29 PM
@Blizz to the depression one, yeah
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:29 PM
7 days in and i already feel life coming back to me
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Ahah a Pokemon joke @Ghastles
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Any tips for making it that far @Darknet Shrimp Merchant amyglada
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:30 PM
this channel has been huge
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@maxatrillion. Im 33, and had been smoking as long as you. We're also only a few days apart on our quits. if you ever are struggling or need someonr to talk to, feel free to hit me up on discord or reddit at any time.
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:31 PM
Awesome. I appreciate that
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The three D's. Decatastrophize, distract and dispute expectations
👍 1
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I'd like to add as a cautionary note, that when weed is used for depression although there may be a rebound of positivity at first, the depression will still be there. It's just the next battle is all
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It’s just so hard to fill the time in between things because I get so bored
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so very true @M1NDFEEDER
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:32 PM
yeah for sure. i just keep thinking about the future, it'll get easier but i gotta put the time in now
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:32 PM
👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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Exercise helped me a lot my first week
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:32 PM
yeah push ups when i start craving
10:32 PM
i just go until im exhausted
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First week is always the toughest
10:32 PM
Gets a lot better I promise
10:33 PM
For anyone struggling on the first few days
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Thanks I needed to hear that
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Even the depression is easier to manage
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:33 PM
its much easier to think yourself out of a pit when you're sober
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100% @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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𝔾𝕠𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟 03/05/2020 10:34 PM
is it?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:34 PM
absolutely
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You have clarity for one
10:34 PM
Able to make and follow plans through (edited)
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Does marijuana take away confidence after smoking for awhile?
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Did for me @Blizz
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:35 PM
@Blizz absolutely
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:35 PM
Hi @Joel Welcome!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:35 PM
i think so. i couldn't think clearly, so i started seeing myself different from reality
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:35 PM
How are things going with you?
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life is good, how are you subduction?
10:36 PM
How is everyone else doing?
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Fuck I really need to stop, for so long I’ve been distancing the recent anxiety attacks, extreme sensitivity and loss of confidence as anything but the weed
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:36 PM
Great over here. 21 years clean and going strong. How's your quit going?
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Ive head more music in the last hour than I have heard in 5 years probably.
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Time to throw out the weed @Blizz
👍 3
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:37 PM
we're in here twice a day. it makes each day easier for me because i look forward to having a group to interact with and talk about whats going on. hearing other people doing well with more time than me keeps me going
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25 days and counting
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have you been able to yet @M1NDFEEDER ?
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No. I'm still walking a super tight tightrope
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:38 PM
25 days is amazing @Joel! Nice work. Why did you quit?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:39 PM
@Blizz you want to quit, might as well try
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:39 PM
@Joel that’s awesome, good going mate
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Started listening to Madchild again, not really into hiphop that much, but his lyrics are all about overcoming addiction, and its been super inspirational
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@M1NDFEEDER i don't have any left, i had texted my plug but cancelled...just trying to keep myself form uncancelling
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Block the number @Blizz
👍 2
10:39 PM
That I can't be called out for saying
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:39 PM
how do you react to messages?
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messages?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:40 PM
i cant find the emoji thing
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I quit for 2 reasons, one, my mom said "Joel you can live here for free, with no rent, no bills, free food, etc... or you can quit weed" and secondly I quit because i smoked everyday morning to evening for two years... So it was my mom that pushed me to but it was my own will to actually leave it behind.
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*hugs @M1NDFEEDER * It's okay, you'll get there! honestly, you have amazing strength to have it on hand and not use. I respect that in you.
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Do it while the motivation is there and strong
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:40 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant On desktop you hover over the message and you'll see options come up on the right
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how do you react to messages?
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I can only do it if someone else has 🤷🏼‍♀️
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@Joel not with my mom, but same boat about smoking from mornign to evening
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:40 PM
@M1NDFEEDER same
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:41 PM
@Joel -- that's a good combination.
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I took all my weed stuff, put in the vans backpack, and gave it to my friend, and ive been 25 days sober. I turn 21 on tuesday and i live in a legal state. I am not smoking
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i think @Moderator -- Subduction has the only permissions to do it
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:41 PM
ahh
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@Blizz its easier to quit than it seems, you "stop" get rid of all your shit, and its pretty easy
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Great job @Joel!
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@Joel like throw away all my gear?
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thanks ghast
10:42 PM
I gave it all away, or yes throw it awayy
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:42 PM
Hmm @Ghastles I don't mean to. Let me look into that.
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lots of testimonies in here of people who just throw away all their stuff. throwing it away helps you quit because when the urges come you cant act on them because there is nothing to smoke
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:43 PM
@Blizz do it man, you got a good support group right here. only good things can come
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r/leaves and its user are so nice, this discord is full of supportive people. No judgment here
10:44 PM
if you want to quit... "Just do it." dont do something tomorrow if you can do it today.
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pulled my neck today, usually would smoke to "fix it", but that turns into 8 months of "fixing it" and forgetting what the problem was in the first place.
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It was a relief to pack up my bong
10:44 PM
and get it out of sight
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so, tylenol and a hot pack
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I was offered a joint by my friends the other day, and I said no thank you. Joint in his hand, and he is someone ive smoked plenty with. But no thank youuuuuuu
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GREAT!
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yesterday i had some very bad urges, like it was eating me really bad. but i took a break from my pc and did some art and the urges went away
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oooh!
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@Blizz why do you want to quit
10:47 PM
clearly youre on the leaves discord so you must want to, to some level
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant i got the bag out of my car with my bowl and my bong and put it in the trash, im gonna try to start my break today, i really hope i can stay strong
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:47 PM
hell yeah
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what forms of art do you create @Joel (edited)
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@Joel I started using it for depression, and it helped, but then my depression rebounded and along with it disappeared my confidence, ego, girlfriend, and damaged a lot of friendships i previously had
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:48 PM
@Blizz try and make sure that trash gets to the city dump. I’ve been in your shoes before and ended up clawing through my trash in a moment of weakness
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ive been in the "i should stop" thinking mode for about half a year now and all it's done is make me mad at myself and cause anxiety from not quitting yet
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:49 PM
“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?”
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blizz, but thats good too!
10:49 PM
its a great place to start! and now you're here!
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see weed, when you smoke for depression, it will only temporally blanket the depression, but when you are sober the depression comes back. it does nothing to remove the depression but only temporarily creates an absence
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:49 PM
@Blizz do some reading on marcus aurelius. stoicism has changed my way of thinking
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Don't forget to block that number if you haven't already. I didn't and got a message off my dealer and lost a 6 week streak. (Not this time obviously) (edited)
👍 1
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@Ghastles Pottery/Ceramics
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@Joel awesome! making ftom scratch, or painting whiteware?
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It's a delivery service and they've never messaged me so I just deleted the number
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Well welcome to the sober world, it's bumpy but worth it @Blizz
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I have a hand building station in my room, and I make cups/mugs/general items from scratch
👍 1
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank you for changing permissions!
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the first week is the hardest @Blizz then it calms down
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@M1NDFEEDER thx I'm trying, thought about getting some beer just to get past tonight even though i'm not really a drinker
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@Joel oh wow!
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:52 PM
👉 Program note: Everybody should be able to add reactions now. Remember that a wide variety of reactions are available to you, and that we are a place of kindness. With great power comes great responsibility...
👍 4
🤡 2
🤩 1
💛 1
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My advice is don't? You may then reach for weed without realising @Blizz
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:53 PM
CLOWNS IMMEDIATELY? REALLY PEOPLE.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:53 PM
agree with that. the goal right now should be to let your brain reach a normal level
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Hahahaha
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The shrug was because I use it a lot. I actually appreciate the abilities
🍉 1
👻 1
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I'm going to try not to, just trying to find whatever i can to get my mind off it
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:54 PM
I don’t know what the watermelon means but I did it anyway
10:54 PM
Maybe one you zoomers can fill me in
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@Blizz you can make it man, its easier than it seems, quitting is a lot easier than your addiction will make it seem. its one day at a time. One day... just one day..
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means seedy
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:55 PM
Gotcha
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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idk actually
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Well I'm seedy huh 😳😆
🥝 1
😆 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:55 PM
@Blizz my friend is a polyaddict. he drank whiskey straight all day, smoked blunts and chewed tobacco. he quit it all cold turkey and he's still going for 4 months now. we can do it
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Write a bunch of reasons why you're stopping and what you want to do instead of smoking @Blizz
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nope @M1NDFEEDER just a bit fruity, and we all love you for it ♥️ ❣️
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant damn your friend must have the will of fucking superman
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This is where I finally reveal I'm actually a 6ft7 dude
😝 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:57 PM
took him many attempts but hes doing it. he motivates me. i want to be that for someone else
💛 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. Even more new faces today, so exciting! Hope to see each of you tomorrow!
👍 3
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You are @Darknet Shrimp Merchant, oh but you are
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good bye guys
10:58 PM
have a good day everyone
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adios!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:59 PM
@Blizz commit to being sober until tomorrows meeting
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have a great rest of the day everyone, STAY STRONG!
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maxatrillion. 03/05/2020 10:59 PM
This was helpful. Thank you
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Peace out emoji botherers
🍞 2
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I will, thank you. That helps me a lot to be held accountable
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 03/05/2020 10:59 PM
bye everyone. thank you
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Moderator -- Subduction 03/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm closing the doors. I have to go look up detailed meaning of every reaction on Discord. See you tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hi everybody!
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hello
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Hi day 80 something, feeling good, hoping everyone else is too 🙂 I am hungry though so will be AFK while I fix that...
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Howdy
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Hi! Im bakedpotato, 2 weeks here:))
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Woot
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:01 PM
Welcome @bakedpotato Two weeks is great!
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It’s hard but getting easier, the sub inspired me❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:02 PM
I'm glad you found us. 🙂 Why did you decide to quit?
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Hello, world.
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:03 PM
Hey @Ghastles !
4:04 PM
Quiet this morning. No one has had their coffee yet.
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I'm halfway through my French press.
👍 1
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I’ve been putting my life on hold and neglecting everyone around me. I found the sub while I was high and so many people in the same particular situation as me
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is everyone well today?
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Depression haha also
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is sipping tea
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I live in Norway so my English is so and so I guess
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:05 PM
"Depression ha ha" 🙂 I certainly understand that.
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It’s evening here 🙂
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oh @Moderator -- Subduction , ive been using my own jerryrigged tomato timer, to try and work on increaing my focus
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:06 PM
That's a very common story @bakedpotato . It's why we're here.
4:07 PM
@Ghastles Nice!
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Is the tomato timer where u work 25 minutes at a time?
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thank you for that concept, Its been proving interesting. Just something simple like a book right now... have noticed myself getting up and walking sround when the timer is going,
4:08 PM
so forcing myself to sit back down and read
4:08 PM
@bakedpotato yup!
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I’ve been using a tomato timer as well, but it’s my tomatoes.com
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"ok google play fire sounds for 25 minutes, ok google set timer for 25 minutes" works great
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Ahahah
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(i got a free nest mini when they were giving them out)
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Wow nice
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how have you been finding it @bakedpotato ?
4:10 PM
what do you use ut for?
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I have exams and it’s been really helpful to read with the timer
4:11 PM
A friend recommended it because I was struggling with being productive
4:11 PM
No I want to do as many tomatoes as possible for each day
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sounds like a new type of drug
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The good kind hahaha
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"how many tomatoes did you do today?"
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11
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oh wow, thats amazing! i did... 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:12 PM
It's especially hard when you're quitting, because often you've built up unstructured habits. Things like pomodoro or Getting Things Done may seem restrictive, but when you're in recovery it's understandable to crave structure.
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yes. absolutely
4:13 PM
ive said this before, but the twice daily meetings here, are a huge part of (my personal) recovery
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Hahaha yes it’s really motivating at the moment and I have lots of stuff I need to read
4:14 PM
It’s been helpful trying to break that up in 25 minutes
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glad to hear it @bakedpotato
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So its been about a week for me and my tongue has been super sensitive any of you all experience this too?
👍 2
4:15 PM
seems common for cig smokers when they quit
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hrm, yes, for days 5-8 my tongue was pretty sensitive
4:16 PM
felt like i bit it, or scraped the surface off
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pretty sure I even had an ulcer on the side
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same thing for you?
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but it left in a day
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yeah, an ulcer is a good way to describe ut
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had me freaking the fuck out until I found that cig smokers experienced them when they quit
4:17 PM
gonna gave to look into the mechanism behind that now
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I also switched my toothpaste to a kind that doesnt have SCS
4:18 PM
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate
4:18 PM
*
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I keep getting hiccups late at night most nights now. Seems a strange one haven't seen anyone else with it, perhaps it's just a me thing 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:18 PM
@Nordnic You've been drying out your mouth and numbing discomfort for a long time, it may take time to get a balance back in your mouth. I've seen people talking about getting oral flush on their tongues quite a lot on r/leaves. You may have a mild case.
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i can imagine @Moderator -- Subduction "god damnit, now im gonna gave to mod another rambling psuedo-science post" (edited)
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Hi guys
4:19 PM
what meeting are you talking about ?
4:19 PM
iam new here
4:19 PM
well new on discord
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:19 PM
@Ghastles YOU WILL NOT WIN THIS.
4:19 PM
Hi @toxxyyy ! Welcome!
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hi @toxxyyy !
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:20 PM
@toxxyyy All of Leaves is new on discord, so that's more than okay.
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@Moderator -- Subduction Makes sense, when you google health issues its always something fatal. Already was hard enough to eat!
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:21 PM
@toxxyyy Did you come here from r/leaves on reddit or through some other route?
4:22 PM
May the foutth be with everyone!
🙂 1
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@Moderator -- Subduction was creeping on leaver for a while, and after 3rd attempt to get my shit together, ended up here, cause i guess typing with someone is much better than just endlessly reading leaves
4:23 PM
*leaves
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:23 PM
@toxxyyy Where are you in your latest attempt?
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@Moderator -- Subduction day 2
4:24 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction and my highest was 1 month
4:25 PM
didnt know taht the problem wasnt weed , but me
4:25 PM
now i know it and hopefully will acomplish
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congratulations @toxxyyy, and amazing job pushing forward, over and over again! (edited)
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Doing a month without support is pretty amazing. Think what you'll manage this time WITH support 😊
👍 2
😍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:26 PM
@toxxyyy Well, our official take at r/leaves is that it isn't us and it isn't the weed, it's us plus the weed that's the problem. Like vinegar and baking soda. Take them away from each other and you'd be surprise how much better things can get.
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All this talk of food when I'm hungry 😭
😆 1
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Alright, I have to go take my car to be retourqued. Have a great day! Stay strong! Stay sober!
💛 1
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i know that it will be easier this time, but at he same time much harder , because i kinda fell too deep and the only people i hung out with in the last 2 ears were potheads, and i just dont yet have the metal energy to try to repair my relationships with friends i ruined cause of weed
4:29 PM
menal
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:29 PM
Okay @Ghastles See you soon!
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mental
4:30 PM
and i cant talk to these old friends cause it would end up with me smoking again ( already tried )
4:30 PM
since the only thing on their mind is weed 24/7
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:30 PM
@toxxyyy When the 30 days ended last time, what were your "reasons?" What thinking/actions got the pipe back in your hand?
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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@Moderator -- Subduction well , as i said, i kinda knew before that the friend group wasnt ideal, i stopped for month, everything ok and then i started to get bored , since the only thing i used to do was laying on the couch and smoking with them
4:33 PM
so i thought , hey, lets go meet tthem and chat for a while , cause i was feeling lonely from not taling to them for a long time
4:33 PM
fast forvard week and iam back to my rutine
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:33 PM
Still strong on... idk been sober since Thursday
4:33 PM
I thought it would be harder. Sleep is still shit. Any side effects I should expect from withdrawl?
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:33 PM
Hi @Reality Winner !
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@Moderator -- Subduction but it made me realize a lot of things so i guesss this relapse was needed
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:34 PM
@toxxyyy Did you honestly anticipate you were putting your 30 days at risk when you went?
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@Moderator -- Subduction hopefully i know now where the problem is and how to get trough it a nd fix my life
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:35 PM
Did you do it out of social pressure or temptation ?
👍 1
4:35 PM
afaik my friends still smoke too and I openly told them I'm taking a break or quitting.
4:35 PM
my friend just made a joke that I should buy his drugs but otherwise seems to respek my boundaries about it
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@Moderator -- Subduction could you ask differently please , dont know wha that question means , sorry
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:36 PM
I think they meant if you knew you could relapse by going
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:37 PM
@toxxyyy , as @Reality Winner implied, sometimes we knowingly get ourselves into situations where we know we'll relapse, to give ourselves a "reason." A lot of what we do to stay stopped when we quit is trying to anticipate those situations and avoid them.
😍 1
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sorry to interrupt with my crap tongue issues but any idea of when this may subside based on personal experience?
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:38 PM
Tongue issues?!
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since I quit my tongue has been sensitive and I had an ulcer on the side appear for a day. (edited)
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:39 PM
Wtf
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Subduction has said this is common
4:39 PM
I learned it is very common with cig smokers
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:40 PM
I guess the only thing I'm dealing with is complete loss of appetite but that's not weed related. I really hope that doesn't happen to me. I already get mouth sores from just eating fruit at this point
4:40 PM
now I'm checking my tongue lol
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I think my tooth paste was also messing with me
4:40 PM
it seems the chemical i mentioned above is in some brands and known to affect sensitive mouths
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:41 PM
@Nordnic I've never had it, but it's likely just a bit irritated, so a few days as it heals. If you see a white coating it's likely oral thrush. You can look up rememdies online, but if it hangs on talk to a doctor/dentist.
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I recently just grabbed some arm and hammer junk. Usually I get sensodyne or what ever
4:42 PM
seems that the ulcer is gone
4:42 PM
just feels like I can feel more
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:42 PM
@toxxyyy Have you seen people on leaves talk about "one day at a time?"
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which is probably the case.
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@Moderator -- Subduction u mean the strategy where every day you tell yourself not today
4:43 PM
?
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:44 PM
Yup. It's a good strategy for focusing up on what's important. You don't have to quit forever, you don't have to make it to more than 30 days, you just have to make it to bedtime.
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Thats how ive been doing it my man
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:44 PM
I've been using that alot
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dont make it a big deal
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:45 PM
"Just stay clean after finals"
4:45 PM
Or until
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maybe to will toke again but today youre not going to
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:45 PM
That's my small goal for now!
4:45 PM
well weed isn't going anywhere thats the way I see it
👍 1
4:45 PM
And I have other things to do rn other than get stoned out of my mind
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i feel if anything I might get into the edible game but right now I just want to get out of the mind set that i need to toke.
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:46 PM
I felt that way alot
4:46 PM
At one point I felt like I had to smoke a bowl to go outside or feel okay
4:46 PM
but right now I feel okay
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:46 PM
How would that be different @Nordnic ?
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Not as harmful to the lungs and also requires a committed time to partake
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:47 PM
that seems more like harm reduction if anything
4:47 PM
You're still looking to get relief out of it
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haha i guess, again right now I just dont want to feel like I want to do it
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Hi all quickly stopping by, one month and 2 days here, made a list of pros/cons yesterday that Rly helped me see clearer ! Sending love to you all :)
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:48 PM
Why did you decide to quit @Nordnic?
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:48 PM
this
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:48 PM
Yeah, no one's at risk when they don't feel like it. 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction unfortunatelly i have to make it, i have my final exams for leaving school ( something like SAT or whatever it is called in england or america )
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Good stuff @félix 💛
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:49 PM
@félix what kind of list? I love lists
4:49 PM
I'm Journaling rn myself 🥰
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@Moderator -- Subduction and than i have to fully focus on starting a uni
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:49 PM
Hey @félix ! Great to see you! Post that list!
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@Reality Winner pros and cons of quitting ; quickly ends up being not being high vs being high
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Just got sick of the cycle.
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please felix ❤️
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I have to post it on the sub some time ! :)
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would love to see hat
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:50 PM
@toxxyyy Great approach. There are people who manage to put their smoking before everything, but it sound like your head's on straight.
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I don't realize it can help, I felt writing it has benefits but I'll post it sooner than later ! <3
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@Moderator -- Subduction well i have been putting weed as priority for the whole time , i just know that if i will fail now i could also just "lose" few years , or get comfy with me not having a good education and working for low wage, which isnt worht for what weed gives me recently
👍 1
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:52 PM
Yeah part of my reason for quitting right now is academic for uni, need to graduate i don't wanna be stuck in an addictive loop when I turn 21 it would feel pathetic to myself and lead to more self loathing 💩
4:52 PM
Also facing my responsibilities will make it more enjoyable for me to smoke in the future if I decide to
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@Reality Winner nice to see someone younger as me
4:52 PM
iam 19
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:53 PM
Nice
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yes ... exacly ... i know i wanna smoke someday, but only when i know i can sit in the chair, and know i have nothing to worry about or to do
4:54 PM
everything done and paid
4:54 PM
thats when i want to smoke
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:54 PM
I started uni at 16 but spent alot of it suffering with depression anxiety and anorexia, then added weed to that mix. I figured changing something wouldn't hurt if things weren't working the way they were and I already feel in less of a haze just from 4 or 5 days of sobriety in a year.
4:54 PM
Yeah i have a long to do list... weed just helped it pile on
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how did you manage to get to uni at 16 ?
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:55 PM
apparently I'm smart or something and then I got depressed as shit and started to feel inadequate, and weed made it worse with a cycle of just laying in bed all day and crying lol
4:56 PM
I didn't smoke until I was 18 but it def made my depression worse and eating worse
4:56 PM
I've only been smoking everyday for a year or a year and a half
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i stared smoking when i was 15 - just to try it
4:56 PM
and have been smoking daily for nearly 2 years
4:56 PM
in my worst days like 5g a day
4:57 PM
lookingback at it , iam wondering how the fuck i could do that without passing out
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:57 PM
Woah!
4:57 PM
I smoked 5g recently in 4 weeks but I'm a tiny gal I suppose
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iam just so glad i realized all this
4:57 PM
and can focus on whats important
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:57 PM
You know quitting cold turkey will benefit your tolerance anyways
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hopefully
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:57 PM
yeah
4:57 PM
Think about endgame
4:58 PM
Passing your classes for the summer and being able to relax
4:58 PM
Not needing weed
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fuck yes
4:58 PM
exactly what iam aming for , inner peace without weed
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Reality Winner 04/05/2020 4:58 PM
! Now I must go to finish my assembly programming labs lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! So happy to see new people here! Hope to see each of you back!
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what time is now in us EASTERN
4:58 PM
so i can count when wqill it open
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Good luck kids, I'm going to smile at myself in the mirror. Stay sober 💛
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cya folks ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 4:59 PM
It is now noon @toxxyyy
5:00 PM
You're 6 hours ahead @toxxyyy
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so at 11 pm my time , thanks ❤️
👍 1
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Checking in today, yesterday was first day of break
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btw are there any group calls ,
5:00 PM
?
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 5:01 PM
Hey @Blizz Just closing up. But check back at 5!
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Oh ok, will do
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 5:01 PM
Okay closing the gates. Going to go look at pretty pictures of Norway...See you all soon!
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Closing...
5:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello everybody!
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Hey bro, how're ya
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @honestly ! Welcome!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:01 PM
hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hey @Blizz !
10:01 PM
Hi @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
10:01 PM
Okay, check in -- how's everyone feeling?
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Wonderful and hello
🙂 1
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:01 PM
Good afternoon!
👍 2
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:01 PM
not bad. a few strong cravings, some mild ones but getting along
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^ Same there, feeling the withdraws but my souls screwed in
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:02 PM
how long is withdrawal usually?
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:03 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant everyone is different
10:03 PM
generally 2 to 4 weeks
10:03 PM
but it's less if you replace your time with dopamine boosting activities like exercise, video games, and other creative things
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:04 PM
gotcha. im gonna keep on truckin along then
🕶️ 1
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:04 PM
hi everyone! Hope you're all doing well today
10:04 PM
shit's rough LOL
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:04 PM
@Blizz how're you holding up?
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:04 PM
Day 10 here and my headache seems to have relaxed a bit
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:04 PM
Welcome @BenderJRodriguez !
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:04 PM
yo you GOT this @Darknet Shrimp Merchant - you're killing it. One hour, and day at a time
10:05 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction what's good Subduction! Thanks for the warm welcome - how are you
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:05 PM
im on day 8 now. slept like a baby last night, best sleep ive gotten in a long time
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:05 PM
@BenderJRodriguez I am well. Lots going on at Leaves, but it keeps me out of trouble. 🙂
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:06 PM
noice noiceeee
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Chugging along to a better outcome, honestly love it when you start living the effects but I'm still sitting tight
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:06 PM
@honestly good stuff, honestly
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Has the traffic calmed since the trees post yet? Or still mega high?
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:06 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant woooo - Sleep is the best. How're the dreams?
10:07 PM
thanks to all of y'all for doing your thing. It's inspiration for me and helps a LOT
10:07 PM
I live with two people who still smoke regularly - one being my brother haha
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant On day 2! Thanks for keeping me to a promise to stay strong yesterday
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:08 PM
No things have calmed a good bit. @M1NDFEEDER . We usually retain about 15 percent of the traffic of a big hit long term. Final number for April way 217,000 unique visitors.
😯 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:08 PM
had some wild ones for sure. last night i dreamt i had acquired a baby somehow and went an odyssey through an infinitely long shopping plaza
10:08 PM
@Blizz glad you're here
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Feel really bored of everything though, I feel like being at work is a lot easier to handle than when I'm at home
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:08 PM
yeah me too
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Wow that is a hell of a dream lol
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hope everyone's doing well - I'm new to discord and r/leaves so I might get some things wrong but I'm interested to hear how everyone's getting on (I'm on day 5!)
👍 3
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:09 PM
i've had some wild dreams the past week
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How are you feeling @dinnyhoon
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:09 PM
Welcome @dinnyhoon If it helps, I'm new to Discord and I run the place, so you have some leeway here. 🙂
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@dinnyhoon I'm doing aight bro, day 4 here, feelings haven't cleared up nor has there been much improvement physically, but my will to quit only gets stronger each day man
👍 1
10:09 PM
That's pretty buzzy I think tbh
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BenderJRodriguez 04/05/2020 10:10 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant - sick ; What if like...you're the baby? And you're on your journey to your new self. And gonna treat yourself to all sorts of good shit in the future? 😮
❤️ 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:10 PM
thats a good interpretation
🙃 1
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@Blizz I've actually been pretty great since quitting - I smoked daily for 8 years and it feels weird to be getting through it so well
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@dinnyhoon nice, what made you quit after 8 years?
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:11 PM
I’ve been researching live group meetings. As I have no MA meetings available, has anyone here been to an AA or NA meeting, and if so which is a better fit for a leaver?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:12 PM
i was looking for those too
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@Blizz I stopped enjoying it, stopped feeling the positives, and my college degree was starting to slip away from me, and then I had a bit of a talk with myself a few days ago after greening out at like 3pm out of lockdown boredom
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Good afternoon.
👋 3
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@Ghastles Kia ora, hello
👀 1
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Those greenouts can be brutal, I'm hoping the general anxiety and anxiety attacks I've been increasingly having over the past year fade as i stop using the weed to cope anymore
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@Blizz I think I knew for years I was addicted, but I didn't feel ashamed until recently
10:14 PM
my anxiety was consistently through the roof when I smoked, I've felt great the past few days but I'm worried about some things like anxiey and depression creeping back in over time
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@dinnyhoon Try not to beat yourself up too hard about it, the important thing is you realize you needed to stop which is a step a lot of people don't make it to
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@maxatrillion. I have a friend who works with NA and AA, and reccomended NA to me over AA, but dont have personal experience with either. (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:15 PM
my fear is in the future i'll forget the weed made things worse
10:15 PM
i feel less depressed and anxious now
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Don't forget your brain will need time to reset itself after the THC
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@Blizz thanks yeah I'm really glad I finally listened to myself
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my anxiety was consistently through the roof when I smoked, I've felt great the past few days but I'm worried about some things like anxiey and depression creeping back in over time
@dinnyhoon I feel that. you can probably expect those feelings to creep in as your mind resets but be proud that you're facing them head on - goin thru it to get thru it - rather than stomping on those feelings!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:15 PM
@Ghastles what's NA?
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:15 PM
That’s what I gathered from reading the archives in the sub
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:15 PM
narcotics anonymos?
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Atleast now we'd be able to cope on demand easier, we'd take new coping methods mentally instead of in a baggie
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@maxatrillion. My dad went to AA and if you can deal with the religious aspect, it's pretty great, not for sure about NA though
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant yep
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Howdy all
👋 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:16 PM
how's it goin?
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:17 PM
Apparently they frame it in a way that isn’t too Churchy, but I’ll roll with it as long as the meetings help
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Good how are you?
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@yames that's true, thanks! I'm not used to being proud of my actions haha
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I'm having a hard time enjoying the shows and games I used to watch/play without the weed so far, but books have been really helpful. Anyone else got suggestions for stuff that feels better sober?
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@maxatrillion. a big part of it is higher power, BUT, that doesnt mean christianity,
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I do tend to notice religion have some metaphorical truths, maybe you could translate those words into a way you understand the world
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they are big on personal spirituality
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hello 🙂
👋🏼 5
👋 1
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Exercise def feels better sober.
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welcome @Laria (edited)
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@yames that's true, thanks! I'm not used to being proud of my actions haha
@dinnyhoon me neither homie. ive got dreadful self-esteem issues and being addicted to pot was definitely stoking those flames. the shame i felt over the last couple years was brutal. i've got lots of personal things to work on but i know i can be proud that i'm taking a step to better myself.
👍 3
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How are you guys doing?
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@Blizz I'm using my sobriety to get into more cerebral movies and games - deep RPGs and complex series like westworld appeal to me so much more now that I can think
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:19 PM
It sucks that MA groups are hard to find
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:19 PM
im sure they'll be everywhere in the coming years
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Maybe I can actually finish season 2 of westworld now that I'll be able to understand it lol
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:19 PM
people are waking up to the whole "weeds not addictive" bs
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I think anything can be addictive, any routine can become a habit and then a dependence
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Lol season 2 of westworld made no sense
10:21 PM
Sober
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:21 PM
How are you feeling this (afternoon? evening?) @Laria ?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:21 PM
i couldn't get into westworld. tried a few times. altered carbon was the same way. couldn't follow
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Westworld series was kinda a waste of a good book
10:21 PM
great book. Not so great series. (edited)
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I could finally follow the plot of death note sober
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I am feeling great @Moderator -- Subduction thanks for asking
10:22 PM
I just started playing piano again
👍 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:22 PM
@Laria Nice!
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Is it advisable to drink water a ton to get it out of your system as fast as possible?
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I agree @dinnyhoon and there's just too much in weed not to love, the emotional security, translucent thoughts... we just tend to forget those are possible in other activities too that don't cause such an impact on our lives, like music or sports
👍 2
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hello, 1 month sober here
👍 5
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:22 PM
@Blizz i've been drinking tons of water
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:22 PM
How much did you play before @Laria ?
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great job @kameothedad , I can't wait to get to that marker
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@kameothedad what's good. I just hit the 1 month mark myself
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:23 PM
@kameothedad hello, awesome job
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:23 PM
kameothedad#1417 Way to go
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:23 PM
Hey @kameothedad welcome!
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medical forced.... diagnosed bipolar
10:23 PM
wsa in psychosis
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I used to play violin and piano for 12 years I had two years not plying at all
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Hey one monthers, what're you're favorite things of sobriety?
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saving money
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all the money I've saved not blowing it on getting high 🙂
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Money and productivity
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:24 PM
@Laria played guitar and sang for 12 years also, haven't done either in a couple years
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my productivity is down tbh
10:24 PM
but thats cause of many things
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:24 PM
@Laria I gotta get that trumpet out.
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in addition to saving money, it's nice to have less crap in my chest when I'm out running, and it's been nice to not have my thoughts dominated by when I'm gonna smoke up
👍 2
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant It is fun to do it again. You should try it. You play with the soul and not because you have to
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@Laria I started playing guitar 18 years ago and lost interest in playing shortly after I started smoking, I'm gonna give my guitar some TLC tomorrow now 🙂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:25 PM
i've also damaged my wrist so guitar is hard now
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in addition to saving money, it's nice to have less crap in my chest when I'm out running, and it's been nice to not have my thoughts dominated by when I'm gonna smoke up
@yames i used to run high... ran an ultramarathon on edibles once
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did anyone get a slight cough/chest tightness for a few days after quitting? I was terrified it was covid but it seems to be clearing
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Truly I notice myself in the zone when racing F1 (video game) instead of subconsciously stressing out about a virtual corner
10:26 PM
I'm getting one in my head @dinnyhoon
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I'm glad you guys are talking about creativity coming back, I was writing a book and then I started smoking more and more, and eventually ruined it trying to write while high and then shelved it
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@kameothedad me too. I religiously got high before any form of exercise as it helped me not give up & push myself harder. It took some getting used to doing it sober but I've definitely noticed increased performance now that I'm used to it
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@Blizz I started telling myself the lie that I was better at working on stuff when stoned (I wasn't!)
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i never ran sober for the most aprt
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isnt that the way it goes? @Blizz ? 😫
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Yeah @dinnyhoon , I lied to myself for so long saying I was just as good if not better high
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I actually stopped playing because a damaged wrist too. I had a Russian teacher and I played 8 hours straight I had to left music college because I couldn't play anymore for a while. Took me months of recovery
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:28 PM
I used to always play soccer stoned, needless to say my teammates and I were rarely on the same page
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Wow I cannot imagine doing physical activity while stoned lol
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Yeah I feel that - I convinced myself that I was better at most things when I was high. The reality was that I was better at those things when I wasn't experiencing withdrawal 😛
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hahaha @maxatrillion.
10:28 PM
can imagine that
10:28 PM
':(
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How far are you ghastles?
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:29 PM
I’m looking forward to next season. It will be the First time playing sober in a few years
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@yames wow that's exactly it, I felt like I was working better because I wasn't thinking about my next bowl
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12 days iirc
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@Blizz I used to do it. It was interesting. And I got really thirsty
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nice almost 2 weeks
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When did the worst of the withdraws end off man? How long did you smoke
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give it 2 weeks
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Today I accomplished 2 weeks
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sorry, if you already said and I missed it / forgot, how far are you, @Blizz
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Just two days including today, I'm just startin
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Thats awesome!
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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i cant get the emojis right, i feel like i am high missing it
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So many times I told myself "oh well I can't do cold turkey, I just need to wean myself" and then I would use that as an excuse to delay stopping again so I'm trying to commit to just going cold turkey
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:32 PM
its worth it. it gets easier every day
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even yesterday here when I first started I asked about weaning off, and I'm glad everyone here told me wha twould happen again
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Hey all!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:35 PM
hello
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hello i'm coming in late too
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:35 PM
Hello @JustTrying sweden!
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I was originally planning on coming during the 11AM one but I ended up dealing with work 😦
10:36 PM
But glad I can check in! It's nice to have a sober community that isn't soaked in Jesus
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How long does this cha stay open ?
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1 hour twice a day
10:36 PM
Has 25 mins remaining
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Glad that you are here @Blizz and that you chose to try a new, bold, approach!
10:37 PM
glomps @M1NDFEEDER
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@Blizz Same boat tbh. Day "1" here
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:37 PM
@toxxyyy We're open for another 24 minutes, then open again tomorrow at 11am US Eastern Time. (UTC-4)
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Thanks @Ghastles , having a group that supports me has made much more of a difference than I ever thought it would
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10:38 PM
@JustTrying congrats! the first few days are definitely the hardest, especially the first one, but it seems to get easier every day so just keep pushing hour by hour
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I'd MASSIVELY recommend r/leaves for when here is shut too @Blizz
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:38 PM
👉 In the works: an online calendar that translates meeting times to your local timezone, and the opportunity to sign up to be a chat moderator. More mods means more online meetings.
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@JustTrying Congratulations on becoming a leaver!
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@JustTrying day 1 (particularly night 1) was hard for me but by day 2 I felt like I'd achieved something and I didn't want to throw that achievement away, it really spurred me on - I'm at the end of day 5 now
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@JustTrying why did you decide to quit?
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So many reasons
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant helped me yesterday on my first day by asking me to yesterday by asking me to commit until the next meeting here to stay sober, you should do so as well!
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10:40 PM
it's a lot easier when you check in than only being accountable to yourself
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:40 PM
@Blizz im happy i could help
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@Blizz ABSOLUTELY
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I don't know if this too related, but there's an app on the play store called Quit Weed, it tracks your time sober, money saved and gives you a general idea on where your health is at if anyone wants to give that a go
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I had a lack of control around what I was doing when I was high + I was ignoring my family/GF to get high...and the realization of all of that hurts @Ghastles
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 10:41 PM
@Blizz I have the I am sober app and I do the daily pledge as well. I recommend it if you haven’t discovered it yet
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:42 PM
"Grounded" app gets good reviews too.
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@JustTrying I'm sorry that you had to experience that, but, good on you for choosing to leave it behind, and better yourself! Hope that you are able to repair your relationships now that you are sober!
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Team Grounded over here
10:43 PM
Shame it takes forever to actually see the thing grow
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Honestly I'm thankful that it didn't get bad enough where people started to notice
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yeah Grounded's entry system is a lil goofy but overall it's a terrific app
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@Moderator -- Subduction what about, instead of a time zone calculstor, a countdown timer until the next meeting
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Personally I found getting help was more important after 2+ years than it was initially.
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:46 PM
@Ghastles It's a good idea -- I'm making a script to swap in new messages on the sticky as to when the next meeting will be for the moment, but once Leaves has an independent web presence established, which will be soon, then we can build and organize all kinds of things.
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are you in need of (donated) hosting?
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:47 PM
@Ghastles I may be at some point, so I'll keep you on the list for that! Right now I'm paying $3 a month for a dedicated server so we're okay. 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction I manage servers for enterprise companies for a living, I can also help
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:48 PM
I LIKE THE SOUND OF EVERYTHING I'M HEARING. 🙂
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I don't even have the option to smoke because of various laws and stuff, but I figured It would be good to find out what others are going through.
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perfect! i have a few AWS boxes running, so if you ever need it, the offer stands, but seems like you got things under control for now!
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:48 PM
@Ghastles thanks!
10:49 PM
@Albert C. You have 2 years, or did I misunderstand?
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Peace fellas, off to be social!
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@Moderator -- Subduction I lost count, exactly. It'll be 3 years soon
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:50 PM
Good to see you @JustTrying den, hope to see you soon!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 04/05/2020 10:50 PM
ima head out too. bye everyone, see ya tomorrow
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:50 PM
@Albert C. I'd forgottn that. That's great.
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@Albert C. did the cravings ever start to go away? I'm feeling good but getting tired of dealing with them everyday haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:50 PM
Cya @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant seeya!
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have a great day @JustTrying ! hope to see you back! You got this!
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I'll be back tomorrow 🙂
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peace @Darknet Shrimp Merchant <3
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@yames I think they've went away. Like I said because of my situation, weed isn't an option anymore. But basically when I'm feeling lousy I consider changing that part of my life.
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@Albert C. Gotcha - thanks for sharing. Looking forward to them getting a lil less present
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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My brains been doing the "maybe u can moderate bro 😏 " gambit lately and I'm trying to ignore it lol
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@yames I had a realization that smoking equates to risking everything that I've worked for. (edited)
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kinda hate feeling like such a child. can be super sad one moment, then the wind blows, and am super happy / vice versa. ... but honestly.... its 90000000x better than feeling the nothingness of weed.
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If we were capable of moderation we wouldn't be chatting here now. Sad but true
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it might feel good, the first time... the second... then... its the 500th, and theres nothing left to you (edited)
10:58 PM
Have a great rest of your days everyone! Stay strong until tomorrow!
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. Even more new faces today, great to see! Hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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@Ghastles tell me about it, right with you. With the emotional swings. I'm just trying to be professional though it. and not have it get the best of me.
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gotta go get some London Fog
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thanks for chatting everyone. as always, I feel better going out than I did coming in. have nice nights !
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Adios!
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Bye all
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maxatrillion. 04/05/2020 11:00 PM
Peace and love
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THIS WORLD IS MADE OF
11:00 PM
PEACE AND LOVE
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Moderator -- Subduction 04/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alrighty, closing the doors. Off to practice my trumpet, piano, violin, guitar, singing and, of course, banjo. See you tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:00 PM
Leaves, assemble! Hello everybody -- check in and let us know how you're doing!
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Good morning everyone
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Hi
💛 1
4:01 PM
I’m 8 days in
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Going strong, little over two weeks.
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:01 PM
Good to see you all!
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Hey guys
4:01 PM
My anxiety is through the roof
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3rd day today , and as the time is 5pm at my place ( which is the time i used to be high everyday for past 2 years) all i can think of is weed ... jeeez .... bot not today , not gonna give in so easily
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Great job you two! how are you finding it?!
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I finally hit 3 weeks
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:02 PM
Awesome @Deleted User !
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I never used to have anxiety before I started smoking but now little things are making me anxious
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ugh @toxxyyy - those "special smoking times" are the WORST
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Cheers man!
4:02 PM
I thought it was gonna get better but it’s not
4:03 PM
How long should I wait
4:03 PM
I found the anxiety I had in the morning got better after giving it up
4:03 PM
Think it varies from person to person
4:04 PM
Hopefully I’m strong enough to get to two weeks
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If I can anyone can
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The dreams I found were the worst part
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Greetings, week 11 feeling good 💛
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You certainly are @Deleted User !
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:05 PM
@Deleted User You only have to be strong enough to get to bedtime. You have no idea how you'll feel tomorrow. 🙂
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Well done mindfeeder!
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:05 PM
@Deleted User The regulars here know that I like to recommend a book to people for anxiety -- "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Have we talked about it yet?
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amazing @M1NDFEEDER
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4:06 PM
maybe... after hearing you push it so hard @Moderator -- Subduction
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No but I will give it a try
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i should actually try to read it
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@Deleted User The regulars here know that I like to recommend a book to people for anxiety -- "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Have we talked about it yet?
@Moderator -- Subduction I "found" that on the Internet last night, started to read it, I'll let everyone know what I think once I'm finished
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I think wat contributed most to my anxiety is that I come from a background that demonizes weed
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can you send me a link to where you "found" it?
😉 2
4:08 PM
please and thank you?
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My appetite is kind of coming back
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Thats a good step @Deleted User !!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:09 PM
@M1NDFEEDER & @Ghastles sharing that link would be a cool use of private messaging! 🙂
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keep focusing on the positives!
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4:09 PM
of course, @Moderator -- Subduction
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The author David Burns did a Ted Talk that is on YouTube.
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:11 PM
@Deleted User It's a CBT program you can work through yourself. My suggestion is that you read the introduction as well. He established the empirical support for not only how well CBT works for anxiety if you do it, but even how CBT from a book works well.
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4:12 PM
(cognitive behavioral therapy)
4:12 PM
And it worked great for me.
4:13 PM
<entire channel now watching YouTube>
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Oh I'm using that pm function 😉
4:15 PM
I also was recommended a book by Annie Grace will read that and let folk know how that goes
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:15 PM
there's nothing to worry about in quiet moments. 🙂 I went to a Quaker high school, and the Quakers have a tradition in their services where people simply sit in a meeting house together, and when someone is moved to talk, they talk. While there's value in the speaking, there's also value in just sitting together, so let's not stress the silence. If you have something to say then great, but even if no one is talking, we're all still here together and that's what matters.
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hahaha
4:16 PM
thats's so true
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@M1NDFEEDER can you also send me a link please
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LOOK WHAT YOU STARTED @Moderator -- Subduction
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I've just finished my French press now I've started on the Sour Patch Kids. Caffeine and Sugar are my real vices..
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mmmm sour patch
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:20 PM
Breakfast of champions!
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great book!
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I also had eggs and bacon. 🥓
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though, found the lines in the movie to be better executed
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:21 PM
NOW YOU'RE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE.
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May i ask for a link too ? just pm me please
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theres just something cerebeal... something... ultimate... about bruce willis playing russian roulette every day he wakes up, before going for breakfast downstairs with his family
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:22 PM
Didn't know the book or the movie! Had no idea. 🙂
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vonnegut
4:22 PM
one of my favourite authors
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Now leaving before I get lynched, tarra 👋🏻
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<3 @M1NDFEEDER
4:22 PM
thank you!
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:23 PM
Good to see you as always @M1NDFEEDER . No lynching here. 🙂
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Hey what’s up
4:24 PM
Morning 😛
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Morning everyone. Day 3 here after about a decade of use and abuse. Less cranky from withdrawals than I was yesterday
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goood morning @Laria
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:25 PM
Hi @Laria ! Welcome Lana!
4:26 PM
@Jay Three days is terrific after a year of smoking!
4:26 PM
*10 years
4:26 PM
🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:26 PM
What kind of withdrawals are you feeling?
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I want to say. Last night I did it because I lost someone close to me. BUT. I realized I don’t miss it at all and it is not big deal. I don’t really feel I need it anymore
4:27 PM
I feel like I failed but I accomplished something at the same time
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I was a hobbyist lumberjack like you once, then i took a log to the knee
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:27 PM
@Laria Sorry to hear.
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I’m very tired and irritable, and my appetite is definitely suppressed.
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@Laria sorry to hear, but at the same time... congratulations, on coming to that bittersweet realisation.
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:28 PM
@Laria Sometimes the reaction to news like that can be automatic -- start feeling things, smoke.
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The decision to quit was pretty easy to make though: I had a full manic episode about two months ago, two hospitalizations for bipolar/psychotic symptoms, and I came to realize that weed was making me feel worse and more like I was in that state
4:29 PM
So I can relate to what Laria is saying
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Yep, I’m not proud of it. But I did not enjoy it
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Welp, I’m more motivated to quit now
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:31 PM
@Laria Did you have weed on hand or did you have to buy?
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@Jay its sadly an all to familliar story 😭 Hope that you are able to stay strong, to remember what might happen if you fall back. That you continue to grow and heal.
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4:32 PM
You DESERVE to be healthy and happy
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Thanks @Ghastles. I’m getting in touch with a “Double Trouble” recovery group in NYC as well. As you said, it’s a pretty familiar story
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i dont mesn that to minimalise your pain or experience, just... you are not alone in this.
4:34 PM
thats great! (edited)
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I don’t have anymore. Gave it to the son of the woman who is not here anymore. It was like .5 grams
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:35 PM
@Laria Good to hear. No need to make it unnecessarily hard on yourself
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@Jay sorry to hear that, stay strong, we are supporting you
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Thanks @Laria !
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Yeah, guilt was killing me but at least I don’t feel like I need anymore. Not sure how to feel about it but what is done, is done
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i've decided that when i reach month 6, i would like to re-do my tattoo.. in theory, that should help develop a bit of a long term goal and money saving skills
4:39 PM
but that seems so far away, and soo much money
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:40 PM
@Laria As someone said on Leaves, "You had a lapse. What you do next will determine if it was a relapse."
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4:40 PM
What is it @Ghastles ?
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i mean its kinda uh, redundant... could easily waste /drop money on udeless things i dont need, but i really really need to stop that, or will be exactly where i was when i was a smoker :/
4:42 PM
so hopefully this will stop me from doing that, because i will be saving, instead of spending
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That is a great goal actually. Smoking is expensive
4:43 PM
Having a reward always works for me
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@Moderator -- Subduction una salus victis nullam sperare salutem
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:43 PM
NIce -- very stoic. 🙂
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@Laria it totally is, but alas and alack, lately have been spending the money i would on weed on other equally as useless junk
4:45 PM
thank you @Moderator -- Subduction
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The morning session is really calm huh
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calm.. thats a good word
4:46 PM
not quiet or dead or empty
4:47 PM
calm
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:47 PM
Peaceful. 🙂
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Yes, I like it
4:48 PM
Sometimes is difficult when there is a lot of people
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:48 PM
Earlier sessions have been quiet on occasion. I was surprised that the early session on Sunday was really busy.
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imo, nothing wrong with it being super busy, but this is a refreshing serenity.
4:48 PM
oh, thats google home making forest sounds
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:49 PM
@Laria I'm sensitive to that. There will be a point where we open a second channel, but I'm still getting a feel for what's best.
4:50 PM
@Ghastles I am fully wired with google home here... Forest sounds it is... 🙂
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@Moderator -- Subduction how are you going with the mod search?
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oh, uh. I wanted to ask, but @M1NDFEEDER kinda left
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Has anyone attended any zoom/remote AA meetings? Im a little overwhelmed by how many there are.
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:52 PM
@Laria Search is good, we have volunteers, but I'm still writing up the tools so that people know how to do that. It's a bit of a cascade problem at the moment -- to deliver instructions I want a web site, to set up a web site I need a... etc. Getting close though.
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She responds to direct tags but does not wish to ruin the serenity ask away
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@Moderator -- Subduction and anyone else, I would like to develop a procedural flowchart for opttimising responses to posts on the board, and was wondering if you would be willing to help with that
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4:53 PM
not to take away personal experience,
4:54 PM
but to help identify and better respond to pressing concerns or fears
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:54 PM
@Jay I haven't. Been meaning to because I'd like to see how they go, but if you find one you like why don't you PM me and let me know how it is?
4:55 PM
@Ghastles Interesting -- PM me and we'll chat about it.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Thank you, will as soon as i get a chance, have to run after this. (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:56 PM
Yup, fun first.
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4:56 PM
*RUN
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@Jay No, just school once in a while. Teachers are not really doing meetings rip
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:56 PM
Nope, sticking with fun.
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Welp, time to start the day after this
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You'll have to pm me too @Ghastles I'm not quite sure what your question is, after your run / fun / banging a drum 😆
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playing a strum
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I’ll be sure to let y’all know if I find a group I like!
👍 1
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in the slum
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! So happy to see new people here! Hope to see each of you back!
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@Jay thanks! im sure there are lots of people in NY who would love to find a safe supportive group
4:59 PM
Good day everyone! Stay strong!
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See you guys in the afternoon 🙂
👍 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Alright all, I'm closing the door for private contemplation on the meaning of these new peacefully Zen Discord chats we've invented. See you later!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! How's everyone today?
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Checking in 3rd day
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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temptations were a bit worse today, but ive held strong
10:01 PM
how you feeling @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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Great work @Blizz !
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:01 PM
doing alright today. actually didn't event think about it until a couple hours ago
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Thx ghastles, how you feelin today?
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Hello all!
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randomly drifting off to sleep every couple of minutes :P
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Nice @Darknet Shrimp Merchant, I feel like my days are going slower because I think about it every hour or so, but I'm hopeful once the urges stop, it'll pass
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:02 PM
@Blizz every day the urges get weaker
🤘 1
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Howdy all
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:03 PM
i actually like how long the days feel now
👍 1
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Hey what's up
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Hey @Moderator -- Subduction , that david burns book is on audible. If people make a NEW account, they get 30 days free, and 2 credits free, so should be able to grab a free legal copy
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:03 PM
which book?
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:04 PM
Good catch @Ghastles! For anyone who hasn't seen, I recommend the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns for anxiety and depression.
10:04 PM
It's a terrific cognitive behavioral program.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:05 PM
i have so many unused credits, i'll download it
👍 1
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I'd recommend the book, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use
😆 1
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Ill check it out @Moderator -- Subduction
👍 1
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funny title
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hah @Deleted User, that sounds great
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Oh, there is a very good book that helps a lot, it is called the fourth way
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and full of hard truths
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hey guys, i thought a rule was no links to outside resources
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It's a slightly different take on achieving happiness, instead of focusing on trying to do things that make you happy, it instead shows you how things people do make then miserable
10:07 PM
I saw the book in a CGP Grey video, it definitely helped
10:07 PM
Shame I lost my Kindle though, no books to distract from my weed free life
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While we are recommending books I want to recommend Moby-Dick, so far really good. I hope I have a chance to finish it.
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Thank you, I will definitely check it out too.
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Sudokus are a good distraction from weed
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Can't read on your phone @Deleted User ?
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CALL ME ISHMAEL
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Reading on my phone hurts my eyes
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That damn phone backlight
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I was gifted a magnifier thing that I thought I'd never use, and now I use it every other day to read
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Good evening everyone! I'm on day 29 of being sober from after 10 years of habitual smoking.
🙂 3
🔥 2
💛 1
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I work in IT, so I'm staring at a screen for 8 hours a day
10:09 PM
@IssaBLR 29 days bravo
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i cant do sudoko anymore :/ use to do it for hours and hours on end high
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:09 PM
Ayy 29 days that's great
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@IssaBLR congrats, almost a month. I am actually starting over
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amazing @IssaBLR ! keep it up!
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@IssaBLR you 1 monthers are my goal, gj
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Would it be wrong for me to smoke on special occasions like 1 weekend a trip to Amsterdam a year
10:10 PM
I never considered myself an addict
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Thanks guys 😊 I've had a rough couple of days but I'm starting to come around again.
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I just want to live a healthier life
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@Deleted User smoking again restrengthens the neural connections that degrade over time with sobriety, making cravings worse and more frequent
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@Deleted User I think for this group, that would be wrong
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@Laria how are you feeling about that? I'm happy to see you here still though!
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Fair enough
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Depends on your self control @Deleted User
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Also.. I found any of the sherlock homes series to be quite helpful... Theres just something about how Doyle illustrates holmes, as a mentally ill addict, which is... powerful, and inspiring.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:12 PM
For me I would make every day a special occasion
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@Deleted User You should charter a boat ride around the port
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@IssaBLR Well... At first I was feeling really bad about it. But I realized i don't need it, it was not great, feelt nothing special about smoking. So even if I failed i believe it's just going to get easier from here
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I live in Europe, Amsterdam is only a €30 flight away, thank God I have self control lol
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BenderJRodriguez 05/05/2020 10:13 PM
hi @here
🙂 2
👋 1
10:13 PM
hope everyone's doing well!!
10:13 PM
best wishes to your goal today - which is NOT DOING THE THING.
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I am doing well
😁 1
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BenderJRodriguez 05/05/2020 10:13 PM
❤️
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its the same for if your drug of choice is alcohol if you have a problem you probably shouldnt. @Deleted User
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Started reading one a few months ago, and was blown away by how much it spoke to me.
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@Deleted User I saw a video of a small boat navigating through busy marine traffic at the port, looked awsome.
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@Albert C. I've never been to Amsterdam, I'll go someday, see the Anne Frank house
10:15 PM
I'm coming up to my 6 month weight loss goal, it ends on the 28th of June
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@Laria that's a good way to think about it, it's like it's a type of closure and reassurance. Did you write your feelings down during the event or do anything to set a reminder that it's not special?
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The bad trip during meditation was enough. That was some horrible experience
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@Deleted User I'd like to go someday forsure! (edited)
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oh! had no idea the anne frank house was still standing
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@Laria don't feel bad if you fail, the only time you should feel bad is if you fail and stay content with failing,. As long as you keep trying, your commitment to improving your life will succeed
👍 1
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@Ghastles it's a museum now
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thought the nazis burned it to warn others
10:17 PM
thats pretty cool
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I think travelling is a better high than weed lol
10:18 PM
That feeling when you first step out of the train station in a new city is amazing
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hey @maxatrillion. how are you feeling today?
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:18 PM
@Ghastles it is a very popular tourist spot. People will line up for hours to visit. I skipped it when I was in holland, due to how long the wait was. But if I ever go back I will bear the line length
10:18 PM
I’m good friend.
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@maxatrillion. where are you from ?
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:19 PM
OKC
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@Blizz Thanks! At least now I know that it is not necesary, It helped me a little bit to do it so I don't do it anymore. A little bit ironic but that's the good side
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@maxatrillion. Oklahoma?
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:19 PM
Yep
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Is there anything interesting to do in Oklahoma to take your mind off of weed
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:20 PM
Not at all, lol
😆 1
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I feel like a good forest area helps
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deep south eh, awesome! (edited)
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Fresh pine air
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Almost forgot about this! Hi friends
👋 2
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What kind of music do you recommend to relax? Or what kind of music do you like? 🙂
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Day 2 going well 🙂
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@JustTrying That's great, keep it up!
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@Laria does white noise count as music, I sometimes play white noise to sleep
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Recently I've been listening to 90s house music
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@JustTrying keep up the good work
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👋🏻 quick check in and check out, well done all for another day 💛
🤗 2
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@Laria for relaxing, i enjoy chillstep, sibileous, and linsdey stirling
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my new favorite song is called Deep Inside by Hardrive
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Lofi is amazing and has gotten me through tons of study sessions/meditation.
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Anyone find it easier to finish a video game while sober ?
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:24 PM
I’m better at games when sober if that counts
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That counts lol
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we should make an (unofficial) /leaves (web)radio station!
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I finished Quantum Break today, thankfully I never played the game high, I felt the story would of been ruined if I did
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That's a good idea
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:25 PM
<Subduction puts radio station on to-do list>
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@Deleted User when did you enjoy video games again? i feel like i still can't get into them (day 3)
10:25 PM
i can do books, but shows and games i still can't do
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:25 PM
<radio station is number 378 on to-do list>
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<stops setting up icecast>
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I'd say after all my symptoms went away, so over a month
10:26 PM
I couldn't play games with brain fog
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What did you do to fill that time?
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Gym
10:26 PM
Sweat it all out
👍 1
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Meditation
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am really really looking forward to playing l4d2 sober again
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:26 PM
@Blizz same. I just bought the Star Wars game because it was on sale, but can’t be assed to start it
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THC is stored in body fat
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And home gym too 😛
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That's why THC takes forever to get out of your system
10:27 PM
It's not water soluble
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cuz we fat jk
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i wonder if thats related to the weightloss some people experience
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The munchies did catch up to me at a point. 😅
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:28 PM
Late to the music convo but Gabor Szabo is very cool
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been eating like a horse for last 4 days (after morning naseau passes), and exercising, and somehow lost 6 lbs
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Well... smoking makes me crave food. So I can say it is related a little bit hahaha
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:29 PM
I wanna start meditating
10:29 PM
I get free yoga and fitness classes through work I wanna do once things open up
👍 2
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It takes time, be patience and practice every day. You will love it in a few days or weeks. It is worth it
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nice @Darknet Shrimp Merchant i was thinkingbof joining our local yoga studio
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:30 PM
I used to pay a bundle to go to yoga classes, definitely use that free resource
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I've been told I don't look as tired anymore
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though ill likely be the only straight male there :| Really wish there was Tai Chi in this town
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I couldn't do yoga
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:31 PM
I probably have one of the best insurance plans in the US. 500 deductible then my boss pays for nearly everything else
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I'm not flexible
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:31 PM
I don't go to the doctor much though
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you will be, after yoga :p
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I prefer strength training
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:32 PM
I guess I should take advantage of it since it's in lieu of higher pay
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Got a pull up bar for the house
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og nice
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Seeing as all gyms are closed
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one of the door mount ones?
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Yeah
10:32 PM
No drilling involved
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:32 PM
That too, lifting feels so good but I'm scrawny. Gotta get dedicated
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those are nice.
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:33 PM
We opened our gyms last Friday
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mine is a coat hanger atm (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:33 PM
I have some kettle bells I've been using
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:33 PM
Still haven’t gone though, probably should
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I'd go to a park to use the monkey bars for pull ups, but even they're closed
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parks just opened here today
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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What do you guys have planned tonight for cindo de mayo
10:34 PM
cinco*
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I like running, sometimes. Runners high is a legit thing to me. It feels crazy, like temporarily running your thoughts at hyperdrive
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:34 PM
My uncle quit alcohol and cocaine by running. Dudes like nearly 70 and runs for miles everyday
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I think running is good, but cycling is better if you're overweight
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@Blizz everything possible to not annoy the french canadians, who are a bit testy today
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Nothing :c Even when i'm mexican my family does not likes holidays
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:35 PM
@Blizz hiding inside hahah
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant that's pretty epic
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Our national holiday was cancelled in March
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:35 PM
Even when i'm mexican
@Laria
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Lol aren't we all, it's about to rain too so can't even go out to exercise
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:36 PM
Our bars are still closed, but getting drunk caused me to spiral for a year last time I quit so I am probably done with bars for a long time
👍 4
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I think our bars will be closed till September or even next year
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last time i was in a bar...
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Social distancing in a nightclub would be impossible lol
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got a TBI, had a stroke 3 weeks later
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I want to party tbh
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never going to a bar again
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I'd like to go out and meet people
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Bars will reopen probably end of this month. As a bartender I hope so anyway haha.
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Tinder is terrible at the moment, I wanna meet real people
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Have real connections lol
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yeah passport ruined tinder @Deleted User
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:37 PM
@Ghastles Yikes.
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nothing but girls 5000 miles away every other match
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I woke up today with 50 matches, most of them were from the Philippines or Brazil
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@Deleted User Same
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:38 PM
Welcome @Iskander91 !
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Thanks glad to be here. On day 8 and feeling good!
👍 3
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Greetings @Iskander91 ! Congratulations on day 8!
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Thanks! How are you guys doing?
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:41 PM
Hanging In there
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As good as we can during a pandemic
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:42 PM
Yes, I
10:42 PM
Sorry, bumped keyboard. 🙂
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:42 PM
Im glad to still have a job and have something to occupy my time.
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:43 PM
What I was going to say was...So I'm curious what you guys feel are the "fundamentals" of quitting -- the things probably everyone should be doing to give themselves the best shot at success...
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Not hiding your struggle from others
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:44 PM
Having a support system in place, such as this chat is huge
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we might not want to go with "fundamentals", but more common strategies. everyone is different
10:45 PM
maybe would be good to create a poll where people can post different strategies and see how much overlap there is
10:45 PM
im sure exercise would be up there, but super not necessary for everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:45 PM
Just curious what people here are thinking now -- nothing official.
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Tell people that you don't smoke, when the situation comes up.
10:46 PM
secrets are hard
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:46 PM
I think getting rid of your stash, not having it around is important
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dont expect results right away. quitting is good, but that first week will be hell often
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:47 PM
For me it’s a commitment to saying no to being tempted. I live in a medicinal state, so when i quit 11 days ago the one thing I did was cut my card and trash it
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@Default me rn
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I think having some type of activity ready to go when your cravings come up is essential, and some way to start building habits to build confidence in yourself. Also learning to say no to things that used to make us happy is a big step.
👍 1
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When I quit it traded my stash to an artistic stoner girl and got a sweet picture for it!
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find another way to reward yourself. I used to reward myself with weed. now I will often reward myself with a fancy coffee or something. I bought a new computer after a year not smoking because of allt he money i saved
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@maxatrillion. i did the same thing! Alack, my card is on my phone too, so that kinda failed fast 😬
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:48 PM
If I lived in a recreational state I might have caved already
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that's the worse part about being so close to DC
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:49 PM
Maybe @maxatrillion. , but was getting it ever really the problem? 🙂
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:50 PM
It being available on every corner in town certainly didn’t help
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agreed
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:50 PM
@Blizz I'm nearby in Arlington, don't get in that often so it hasn't been a concern for me.
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I deleted tinder. I hate it. I should actually be in a support group for that lol.
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Yeah @Moderator -- Subduction , i used to go across the arlington bridge all the time to pickup from delivery services, glad i deleted all the numbers out of my phone
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:54 PM
@Albert C. Good to take action when you discover your limits. I can only imagine how that would have been if I'd had it when I was single. I think if I started it now my wife would get pretty mad.
😝 2
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@Albert C. i like tinder as much as the next person, but just find it.... unsafe right now
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 10:55 PM
I like tinder fine, but tinder doesn’t like me 😩
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suppose to be physically distancing, not hooking up with strangers 🤔
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:55 PM
Oh DaveBot
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I used to mostly match with a lot of druggies for some reason. My bio was "hugs not drugs" but I think they all thought it was a joke
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:58 PM
when i used to tinder i had 70 matches and got one date
10:58 PM
we ended up in a relationship for a while but still its a game to most people
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 10:59 PM
do you think its odd to not smoke nowadays?
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 10:59 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in one minute, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So happy to see even more new people, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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I've learned that many people don't smoke
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Good day @everyone stay safe!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 11:00 PM
alright see ya tomorrow everyone
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Adios!
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maxatrillion. 05/05/2020 11:00 PM
Until next time
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Moderator -- Subduction 05/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alright, even though I'm closing the doors I'd swipe right on every one of you. See you tomorrow!
💛 2
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 05/05/2020 11:00 PM
lol
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Closing...
11:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leavers!
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@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Good morning @everyone
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I'm not counting the days but this morning wasn't wake and bake for me
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:01 PM
Happy to see folks here, please check in and say hello!
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Hello. Everyone
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That's great @pomeljamones !
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:02 PM
That's a great step @pomeljamones . Was that your routine?
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Yes, sometimes the carvings where to high I just smoked after waking up
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:'( That was the hardest part for me to get through... the morning ritual of waking and baking right away. Its great that you were able to break the routine! keep it up!
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:05 PM
So you have a stash where you are @pomeljamones
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Thanks !
4:05 PM
No, I can't
4:05 PM
I can't have weed in my house
4:06 PM
It's too tempting
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<tents fingers> excellent
😆 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:07 PM
Yeah, that really help. Anything that lengthens the time between a craving and acting on a craving. How are you feeling today @Ghastles ?
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my counter to always waking and baking was hit the ground running
4:08 PM
I have a list of chores I get done in the morning before everything else, and by the time I finish those the ball is rolling enough for me to not go sit down and do nothing
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:08 PM
Wow @Erp , I wish I could do that now... 🙂
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The trick is to make them small chores so it feels like a lot but really isn't haha
4:09 PM
Always have to find ways to trick my lazy brain
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kinda grumpy tbh. woke up, started lawn work and found myself (irrationally) getting pretty irritable, pretty quick. (edited)
4:10 PM
how are you @Moderator -- Subduction , @Erp ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:10 PM
You see people at the beginning of quitting talking about willpower, control, and getting their thinking right, it's amazing how much of this comes down to being strategic with your time and your actions.
4:11 PM
I'm about the same @Ghastles , trying to get a lot done at once on Leaves, so I was up late.
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Not doing too bad. Finished up what should have been my final college year, and am preparing for what is now to be my final one 🙂 A little demoralized, but pushing onward
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@Erp oddly, those "small" chores, like washing dishes, even showering, are super ovrewhelming to me (trying to work on that)
4:12 PM
sorry to hear @Moderator -- Subduction
4:13 PM
damn. @Erp , but its great that you are still pushing through! the next year, though a bit demoralizing, should be a breeze for you!
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Oh yeah. It's still a struggle most days, I just have to convince myself I feel better after getting certain things done. For example I'm always more productive in general when I take five minutes to tidy up my workspace! I still struggle to do the basic things too. I omit at least one thing every morning because "I was so good at doing the others first!"
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hey everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:14 PM
If it's any consolation @Erp , after I got my pesky addiction out of the way I like to think that I've had a successful life and career, I retired at 53, and it took me 6 years to get my undergraduate degree, so... 🙂
4:15 PM
Hey @michelle !
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Definitely always makes me feel good to hear I'm not the only person who takes longer than usual. It's so easy to see everyone I know graduating and feel a little left behind.
4:15 PM
53 is very impressive.
🙂 2
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yep, I'd call that sucesful!! (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:17 PM
I was a music major for three years, nearly failed out cause I never actually, y'know, showed up for class, and then switched over to business and nearly failed out for the same reason, then was a drug addict for ten years. There's always more time left than you think. There are very, very few irrevokable mistakes
❣️ 2
4:18 PM
You also think no one else is makinge them. Actually, everyone else is making them. they just have their own, is all.
4:19 PM
How are you feeling today @michelle ?
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good day @michelle
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:21 PM
👉 So our early sessions have been quiet lately, so I'll post this occasionally as a reminder: While there's value in the speaking, there's also value in just being together, so let's not stress the silence. If you have something to say then great, but even if no one is talking, we're all still here together and that's what matters.
4:22 PM
dog pounced on me, to say good morning
4:22 PM
so much enthusiasm!
😆 1
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hi everyone
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good morning @dinnyhoon !
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:23 PM
Hi @dinnyhoon !
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hope everyone's doing good
4:25 PM
my last smoke was a week ago as of 30 minutes from now, and after a few anxious days I'm starting to build some productivity and I'm catching up on college work
4:26 PM
I mean, I'm procrastinating slightly by tabbing into discord but I like seeing how everyone's getting on 🙂
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congratulations on making it to a week!
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:27 PM
That's great! I was just telling @Erp that everyone could completely screw up college like I did and still do okay which, in hindsight, may not have been the best advice, but catching up is awesome. 🙂
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it's good advice for someone who already screwed up a bunch of a college and was concerned for their success 🙂
🙂 1
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yeah exactly, my grades are perfectly good because I was used to completing assignments stoned but I wasn't getting involved in anything, which is crucial because I go to a small audio engineering school and networking early on is key
4:28 PM
I got sick of appearing successful on the face of things when I knew I was secretly setting myself up for a failed career
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:30 PM
That is definitely important. I was a music major, and you only got as many opportunities to play as you knew people who were in a position to ask you. When I switched over to being an advertising major, the internships were key.
4:31 PM
Weed closes down our world so much, a lot of people don't see how many opportunities drift by unseen
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I completely agree
4:32 PM
weed always made me too anxious to talk to anyone or do anything at short notice - if someone wanted a studio engineer I'd always be too stoned and anxious to volunteer
4:32 PM
I have a year of college left to undo that damage
4:33 PM
but I feel so free without weed that I don't even feel compelled to smoke ever again (early days I know)
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:33 PM
Good, a year is a long time if you squeeze every day.
4:34 PM
I don't mean to be ominous, but that will change. Just be ready for when it does.
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in a way I'm glad I made the decision to quit when I was uncomfortably high and greening out - my final experience with weed was a negative one and I want to remember it like that
4:35 PM
yeah, I tried the moderation thing once - I was back to square one within days, and I stayed there for years
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:35 PM
It's like halfway through a Friday the Thirteenth movie when they're all like "Well I think that got him, we can go home now right?!" 🙂
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Speaking of ominous hello still sober
😆 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:35 PM
WHERE DID SHE COME FROM!!!
4:36 PM
Hi @M1NDFEEDER 🙂 Still sober is great? Like 81 days now or something?
4:36 PM
*great!
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More I think I've stopped counting as 100 seemed like a millstone round my neck
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that's an awesome achievement @M1NDFEEDER!
💛 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:38 PM
Good. counting is only good if it helps you.
4:41 PM
👉 @here Hello lurkers! If you've been sitting in but haven't said hello yet, we'd love to hear how you're doing. Please say hello!
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heyo, day 6, making music to help the time fly
👍 1
4:42 PM
hows everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:42 PM
Hi @honestly good to see you!
4:42 PM
Making as in composing, or playing?
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Composing ig my man writing nd gonna post it up
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:45 PM
Back when I had a setup I would get lost for hours writing music. If you really love it and don't associate it to much with getting high you can just get really deep into it.
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Yeah bro I noticed whenever high nd writing there was no novelty in it, it's my first time sober nd writing in acouple years and not only can you complete them but feel them uno
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:48 PM
Yeah, when you're high it's all about how creative you feel when you're doing it. When you're straight you get much better work product. Something you can really be proud of.
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yeah absolutely, my projects were always a mess when I was high, even if I was enjoying the music
4:49 PM
it led to a lot of abandoned projects
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:51 PM
Yeah, because churning things out like a creative genius is fun when you're high. Putting sometimes frustrating but always rewarding work in to perfect things isn't fun when you're high.
4:52 PM
As someone said on Leaves about listening to music, but that applies to some many of our high hobbies -- "Remember, you used the music to enhance the high, you didn't use the high to enhance the music." That is some wisdom.
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that is so true
4:54 PM
the quote I always hear is "you don't need drugs to enjoy Pink Floyd, but you do need Pink Floyd to enjoy drugs" - slightly more tongue in cheek but it's bounced around my head the last few days as I've started appreciating music so much more
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:54 PM
Hahaha! Yup, similar. That's great.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today for what will likely be a little more action-packed exchange. So happy to see you all at another peaceful morning session and I hope to see each of you back!
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Have a great day @everyone! hope to see you later! stay strong!
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thanks guys, I'll see you all soon! thanks for having this place open, it's great being able to check in
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Alright, closing the doors. I need to go see if I can find a grad school that will let me take fifteen years to finish. See you later!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 06/05/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello @Darknet Shrimp Merchant Hello everybody! Please check in and let everybody know how you're doing!
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What's up everyone?! 30 days sober of weed today after 10 years of habitual smoking!
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Today's rough, day 4 and i had nightmare after nightmare like 10x while trying to sleep
10:01 PM
super intense and vivid every one
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maxatrillion. 06/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hello friends
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 06/05/2020 10:01 PM
had a bit of a rough night but feeling a little better today
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Hello all!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 06/05/2020 10:02 PM
@Blizz i went through that too
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@Blizz that first week is rough with the nightmares. They start to settle down but the dreams stay somewhat vivid.
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant def rough mentally, I'm also really bored of everything, trying to keep strong though
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Good afternoon
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 06/05/2020 10:03 PM
put a plan together for going back to college, ran it by someone in the field and they said it was great. then i spent the whole night trying to convince myself i shouldnt smoke
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Pretty sure I had nightmares too, very real-life though.
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Afternoon @Ghastles how you doing?
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don't put that plan in jeopardy by smoking again @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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shrug
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 06/05/2020 10:04 PM
lots of self-talk about how it was ok because i accomplished something then trying to talk myself down
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nice to see you hit 30 days @IssaBLR ! great job! (edited)
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I'm actually here to check in and leave. I need a break from the internet. Hasta luego!
👋 1
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Thanks @IssaBLR , im hoping it's not nearly as bad in 3 days
10:05 PM
thats when i hit the 1 week mark
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have a great day @Albert C. ! stay strong!
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Thanks @Ghastles honestly it was hard work to get myself this far but the battle is far from over. Have a good one @Albert C. !!
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any tips for making it through the first week?
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@Blizz it does get better, my first week I drew out what was in my dreams. It helped me calm down from them a little. And just focus on making it through! Do anything to keep your mind preoccupied and dont beat yourself up if it's not productive. Another day not smoking is a good day in the books at that point.
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hi guys, I’ve been smoking mostly everyday for around 7 months with a few small breaks. the two successful breaks I’ve taken got much easier after around one week, but getting there is the hardest imo. anyways, ive been very behind in online classes this quarter, especially since of quarantine. all I wanna do is smoke, which makes me okay with procrastinating, which only leads to more stress once the weed wears off (so I’d be constantly high). anyways, I recently lent my bong to a friend, haven’t bought weed since I ran out on May 1, and have smoked a very small amount (compared to normal) with friends since then. it’s time for me to get my shit together. I’ve tried talking to friends as support but I don’t wanna burden them constantly, because the cravings are constant. so I joined this subreddit and discord! hoping to be successful this time
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congrats @pappy , you're at 6 days so just 1 more before you hit your 1 week then hopefully those cravings arent so bad
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Hey @pappy great to meet you! You can for sure be successful this time, just have to put your mind up to the task. And congrats on the 6 days! Did you smoke before your seven month streak?
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ehh I mean I’m not really at 6 days, I still smoked like 4 of the 6 days
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Ahhh my bad i misread
10:11 PM
When was the last time you smoked?
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yeah; i smoked occasionally before that but was always very careful to never do it often, I wouldn’t even do it two days in a row. my brother was addicted to stuff and that was rough so I knew I always had to be careful. last summer, I got a dab pen which is what started it I think. it was too convinent, and I think the most I ever smoked in a row went from like 2 days to 8 days once I got the pen.
10:13 PM
since then, it was a slow ramp up to daily use and then around october I got my own supplies
10:13 PM
I smoked a tiny bowl this morning bc I felt shitty and my stomach hurt
10:13 PM
but when I want to quit, I really want to
10:14 PM
it’s just so hard to stick to sometimes and I stop caring about the long term goals when I get cravings
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Howdy all
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alright so today is the day you stop @pappy
10:15 PM
it will be
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i had to throw away all my equipment to stop falling into the temptations, had to delete my plug contacts too
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yep, deleted them on Snapchat and gave away my supplies.
10:15 PM
except for a little pipe which I never use
10:15 PM
which is what I smoked out of today lol
10:15 PM
so imma give that away too
10:15 PM
or throw it away
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nice but you gotta throw that away too, as long as you have something to smoke from it'll be hard
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throw/give away*
10:16 PM
do your friends know you're quitting?
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some of them yeah
10:17 PM
but like I only have told a few people since I say I’m quitting all the time and fail, I’m too embarrassed/worried to tell a lot of people
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definitely let any of the ones that might hit you up to smoke know that you're stopping/taking a break. if you get a text while your urges are strong, it's really hard to say no
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It is rough telling people that you're quitting at first. But keep focusing on you and once you get some time under your belt it might give you more confidence. @pappy
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What's up @Default !!!
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some of them aren’t good friends and aren’t supportive, and discourage quitting. that’s why I hate stoner culture sometimes
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Waddup bondo!
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Unfortunately you might need some new friends. :/ what do you like to do with your freetime @pappy ?
10:20 PM
@Default how you doing today??
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that’s the thing, stuff is a lot more boring without weed now. but videogames, make music, run sometimes
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Not bad. Just at work so cant contribute too much.
10:21 PM
How are you doing?
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and my main priority is school which is just so fucking boring. I feel like once I get that under control I won’t be as stressed, and won’t need to smoke
10:22 PM
smoking to combat stress is more tempting than to combat boredom
10:22 PM
I am more addicted to procrastinating than weed (edited)
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@pappy real talk, that's the addiction talking in you when you say "once X is over, i won't need Y anymore"
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@pappy yeah it's hard to do the same things you used to do because its associated with weed. But those are some good hobbies!
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true blizz, but I think I’m dedicated enough this time to keep myself occupied
10:24 PM
once I get schoolwork done I’ll still crave it, but not as much probably
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Like blizz is saying I've been where you're at. I thought I needed to smoke to get through the day but it was really just an excuse to get high. I try to focus on the time and energy I would spend on marijuana to something productive and I can show for it.
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i believe in you, checking in here everyday is a great way to stay accountable, it's really easy to make excuses when you only keep it to yourself, so i'm glad you came here
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@Default hows work treating you? And I'm alright just preparing food for the grill, same ol same ol lol
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thank you, it really means a lot. a daily group of people in my same boat is just what I need rn
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downstairs neighbor smoking wafted into my bedroom and I did t give in #Progeess
👍 3
10:25 PM
Progress*
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That def woulda tempted me, gj on stayin strong @yames
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@pappy very supportive group here, I started coming 2 weeks ago and its helped a lot. For at least two hours a day my mind could be occupied.
10:27 PM
@yames great job!! Keep up the good work 👍
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good shit, how far along are all you?
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imma X out the days I don’t smoke on my calendar; it’s a nice visual reminder everyday
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30 days today! Haven't been this far along sober from being high in years.
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that’s amazing! congrats, keep it up
10:28 PM
and nice job on 4 days blizz, almost a week
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Thank you! Like I said it was the support from this group, newcomers and old. Shout out to @Moderator -- Subduction for putting this all together too.
🙂 1
👍 1
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thanks, i had some intense dreams this morning and i'm along the same lines of being bored of everything atm but it'll be worth it when i'm done with this poison
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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Do you guys think this quaratine is helping or hindering your progress?
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bombinator5000 06/05/2020 10:30 PM
Helping
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The dreams are the worst
10:30 PM
I keep having dreams about high school
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you get them too doch?
10:30 PM
lol i wish mine were about high school, half mine were about my ex zzz
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hindering
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Yeah and I've been off it for months
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Honestly its helped me a lot, it let me take a break from every day life to focus on me.
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@Deleted User are they still intense as they were when you first got them or does it fade?
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Whats fanscinating is this is the first time im trynna quit while the world around has basically been put on pause
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Thevdreams do suck, but in a way its nice to be able to dream so vividly and actively instead of just having no dreams like when i would smoke.
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when I quit for a couple weeks in November, having dreams was one of the best parts
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haha if they were just dreams yeah, but when theyre all nightmares, shit sucks
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@deku what made you want to quit? It is crazy though, during this time I've been happy for myself but I forget what has kept me inside in the first place.
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Nightmares get less nightnarish but you always wake up
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For me, ive stopped for months, but tried to take only ‘one hit’ for ’only today’, and ended up smoking for the last 2-3 weeks daily.
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that’s how it goes
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yup @deku thats how it gets you back in
10:33 PM
"oh i didnt use everything i had last night, i guess ill finish it today then"
10:33 PM
me too many times this year
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They are not as instense anymore
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@IssaBLR When im high, I tend to have very irrtionally anxiety iducing thoughts, so I keep quitting for the betterment of my mental health
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"But now I need some more tonight so I can finish my night strong and start my sobriety tomorrow!" I know the song and dance all to well too.
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Gets to the point of suicidal thoughts sometimes
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i was doing pretty good this week, then almost passed out n shit while playing frisbee yesterday for various reasons. i said fuck it imma smoke when we went back to my friends house, thinking I’m just gonna smoke occasionally with friends if offered. but today this morning I smoked a little bowl n was considering just keeping it going before I joined here
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if its getting that bad, you might be experiencing low levels of psychosis from it
10:35 PM
@deku
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@deku that's a good move and part of the reason I quit too. The stuff really gets too you and makes you think of messed up stuff.
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Wow, never knew @Blizz.
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I wouldnt call that psychosis
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I'm not a doctor so don't take it as a diagnosis or anything
10:36 PM
I just know that sometimes weed can affect people's mental health drastically to that level
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suicidal thoughts may be part of, but not exclusive to psychosis, which is a break from reality.
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bUt iTs A pLaNT, iT cAnT bE dAnGErOus
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What helps you guys to quit? Because, everytime I pick up this habit again, I go in knowing it can ruin months or years of progress. Each time I restart this habit, I know im gonna fall harder tp be able to stand up taller.
10:37 PM
But, alas, here we are again.
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Think of all that tar in your lungs
10:38 PM
I watched a YouTuber do the cotton ball smoking experiment
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Long time lurker, but I figured I'd join in really quick as today marks 9 months clean from pot. This community has really helped on the difficult days where the dependent part of my brain was screaming for me to use. Thank you all for your posts and positivity, they keep me going on this path. Have a wonderful day and stay safe!
🙂 2
👏 1
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Hey all 🙂
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Looking at that cotton ball after several joints made me want to vomit
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research would suggest that those who are affected by psychosis when smoking (myself included) are pre-disposed to it, before smoking
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reducing the convenience of smoking, giving away/trashing whatever you smoke out of made it easier to me. if I wanna smoke, I’d have to go buy a piece from the store and come back, which is enough to make me realize I shouldn’t
💯 1
10:39 PM
@deku
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@deku dont beat yourself up about it, it just leads to anxiety again. it helps going into it saying this isn't a break, im stopping for good this time
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:39 PM
Great to hear from you @khaoticchops hope to see you around here more. 🙂
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I don't think I'll ever stop smoking 100%
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One day a year I could be offered a drag off of a joint and I probably won't say no and then I'll go back to being weed free the other 364 days of the year
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:41 PM
Will that happen today, @Deleted User ?
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I'm really really considering buying some rose shisha for my hookah, to fill a bit of the void, and help build a relaxation ritual
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I think you have to ask yourself why do you need to even do it once a year, what do you really get from it?
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@Moderator -- Subduction oh lord no
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but its kinda a slippery slope (edited)
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Probably be at a friend's birthday or wedding etc.
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:42 PM
Then best not to think about tomorrow. 🙂 Just plan between now and bedtime. Don't look up, don't look down.
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Good advice
10:42 PM
I still don't count days being sober though
10:43 PM
I can't remember the exact date when I last smoked
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:43 PM
You don't need to, just stay sober today.
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Live to fight another day
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:44 PM
@Ghastles Perhaps a relaxation ritual that doesn't involved a powerful stimulant? 🙂
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I wouldn't swap cannabis for tobacco
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not swapping, i already smoke :p
10:45 PM
but yeah.
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What about a nice hot bath ?
10:45 PM
With a bath bomb ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:46 PM
Those fizzy things are aesome. Love those.
10:46 PM
YES, I'M A FULLY GROWN MAN WHO LIKES TO GO TO LUSH AT THE MALL AND BUY BATH PRODUCTS. STOP JUDGING ME. (edited)
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Im judging
😆 1
10:47 PM
Lol
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You're not a real man then lol
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def a real man if you can admit it
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:47 PM
I'm a real man with baby soft skin, that's what I am.
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too bad everything's closed, those look fun
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its more, not craving weed, just sitting back, and inhaling flavourful smoke. at the same time, i know that if i start that again, it will lead to me smoking cigs, instead of vaping, and that took near 2 years to transition to completely (edited)
10:48 PM
so can't let myself (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:49 PM
That's why it's in your head @Ghastles , it's your addiction trying to get you in the neighborhood. It's like deciding to drive an extra ten minutes to shop at the grocery store near your ex-girlfriends house.
10:49 PM
You're not doing it for innocent reasons. 🙂
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fair point, fair point. Thank you.
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one of the worst parts of weed for me is stomach problems
10:50 PM
quitting weed*
10:51 PM
my stomach usually just feels uncomfortable, like idk if I’m hungry or have an upset stomach or what. and it’s harder to eat, likely because in the early months of smoking I’d get so high and just eat a shit ton of junk since it felt so good, and now food is just bleh
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Perhaps Ghastles you should look up how 'dopamine' works on YouTube
10:51 PM
It helped me understand why I wanted weed
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I still manage to eat a decent amount, it’s just annoying and discouraging when I feel uncomfortable most of the time
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maxatrillion. 06/05/2020 10:52 PM
@pappy I’ve been doing a shot of pepto bismal a day for the last week. It helps
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withdrawals also make me impatient, I’m too lazy to cook I’d rather just eat a snack or go get fast food which makes me feel shitty too
10:52 PM
Interesting, I might try
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@pappy complete opposite for me, ever since i started smoking ive been having stomach problems and actually was throwing up every other day when i was at my heaviest
10:53 PM
heaviest usage*
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i would binge on junk food, but never eat actual food
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:53 PM
@pappy I ate so much when I got high for so many years. Triggered Type II diabetes, so there are long term consequences. Very good to overcome short term discomfort to get it under control if you were eating junk like me.
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my theory is that everything weed makes better gets worse when you’re sober, especially if being high is what your body becomes used to
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I think weed is like junk food, we crave it and when we consume so much of it, we regret it afterwards
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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short term pain = long term gain and vise versa
👍 1
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We always regret our addictions afterwards
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your brain chemistry changed to adapt to what the weed was changing, now you find everything boring because your brain isn't getting what it feels it needs to enjoy things, youll be good after awhile of stopping papppy, once your brain chemistry balances itself
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Day 4 nearly done 🥰
👍 3
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I regret all the time I spend on my phone
10:55 PM
But only afterwards
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nice @Jay , we're 4 day partners
👍 1
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The 1 hour of looking at newsfeeds in bed could be used for better things
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I’m on my phone constantlyyyytyyyyyyy especially when I’m sober
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Everyone’s on their phones a lot now with quarantine so be easy on yourselves
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i think I just need something to distract my mind from reality
10:56 PM
true
10:57 PM
quarantine is also something that made me want to justify smoking, like what else am I gonna do? but normal people should be able to be entertained without drugs. there are hobbies out there to be picked up
👍 1
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Good Day everyone. Be safe out there!
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good luck everyone!
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Yeah be safe everyone
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gonna go throw out my pipe, eat some food, and do homework
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@pappy good for you
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. I'm so happy to see even more new people, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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cya guys tmw, stay strong
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Moderator -- Subduction 06/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alright, closing the doors. I'm off to soak in a Lush Twisted Lavender-Lemon Fizz Bath Bomb. See you all tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Ayyyy, finally made it to the 11AM one
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G'day boys nd girls (edited)
👋 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 4:01 PM
👉 Hello chatters and lurkers alike -- please say hello and tell us how you're doing!
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Today is day 4! Almost thought it was day 3 tbh but I'm glad I'm forgetting which day of sobriety it is tbh
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a week today, dunno if it's the withdraws or what but lifes missing life, hope alls seeing brighter
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Mourning /leavers
👋 2
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@honestly I feel that, but I think it's because of the current pandemic going on. It's hard to feel like you're living when most of the things that make you feel alive are shut down
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Yeah man everything going on nowadays, ig theres not much to stay strong but atleast I can keep it going
4:05 PM
Hope normality returns uno
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Same. I miss seeing my SO
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I’m in day 10
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great work, @Deleted User , how has it been going? (edited)
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Howdy! Day 5 for me. It’s crazy how vivid my dreams are after years of not remembering them.
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I’m just getting the usual headaches, anxiety and trouble breathing(but it’s getting better)
4:07 PM
I almost hit up my dealer
4:07 PM
Thank god I didn’t
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but didnt?
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I didn’t
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Great!
👍 1
4:08 PM
do you contact them by phone, or in person? Can you block/delete them?
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My dealer is a close friend of mine
4:09 PM
I have him on snap I rarely log into snap but when I do I see weed on his story and I automatically start craving
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Delete snapchat?
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Are... you sure that's true?
4:10 PM
like... is he a close friend, because you do friend stuff together? (edited)
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Yea
4:10 PM
We were friends before I was a stoner in high school
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ah. Sorry. Its always hard, when those relationships overlap.
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But I’m so happy I made it to the 10th day I didn’t think I will get past the first couple of days
👍 1
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But you did!
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And I’m 100% I won’t make these past couple of days go to waste I don’t wanna ever experience this
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Yeah honestly it really looks dark, but hey a day is a day and it adds up
💯 2
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great, now I want to play Vice City. Thanks @honestly 😝
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Classic
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Right now is my first time playing video games without also getting stoned in years and years! Nice to remember I can still have fun lol
4:15 PM
Civ 6, nice and relaxing ;P
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hi guys, hope everyone's doing well
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Today was the first day, I stopped spitting mouthfuls of blood after brushing my teeth.
4:18 PM
So thats good. Afters years of neglect during smoking, the gums were pretty bloody upset (edited)
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@Ghastles that's awesome! I'm starting to feel some health benefits myself. It's a great motivator
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but, visible evidence of healing is always motivating
4:19 PM
Absolutely @dinnyhoon ! (edited)
4:22 PM
what have you noticed @dinnyhoon ?
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I'm starting to lose the constant slight cough I've had for years now
4:23 PM
and after a few nights of difficult sleep, I sleep like a baby now
4:24 PM
I'm actually getting tired at night instead of mid-afternoon, and falling asleep naturally for the first time in so so long
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thats awesome! glad to hear it!
4:24 PM
ugh. smokers cough
4:24 PM
poor lungs
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I used to kid myself that I wasn't harming my lungs because I "only" smoked weed and not tobacco
4:26 PM
but my lungs feel so great now, no more painful bong rips or scorched throat for me 🙂
4:26 PM
and this is only after a week
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To be fully honest this is hard af, I really don't know if I gave my feelings another option rather than my ego or weed
4:29 PM
I'm just too scared of getting caught up in how good sobriety is when I truly don't know anything about it, I've just been used to telling myself I'm right
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@honestly you've hit a major achievement in staying sober for a week, especially during lockdown
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Sup guys day 5 checking in
👋🏼 1
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hey @Blizz congrats! glad you're keeping it up. how are you feeling?
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@honestly almost time a week and I feel you on how hard it is. But it should get better now that you’re past the hardest week. I just think about the daily anxiety attacks I had which have completely disappeared since stopping
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@honestly , honestly, I know how you feel. just hit 2 weeks, and that novelty has took a hard dive. The euphoria of being sober faded... and now theres just.... hard cold sobriety, and no filter friom reality
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Better than yesterday @dinnyhoon , dreams weren’t as intense or constant as other day
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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but, i guess small things, like mouth not bleeding, are pretty motivating.
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oh man don't get me started on the dreams haha, it's so wild
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that little kick, to prove that you are doing the right thing
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How comes I’m not having dreams yet
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not everyone remembers their dreams
💯 1
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I can sleep for 6-8 hours but no dream at all
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I dreamt about my ex last night and woah that fucked me
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some people go their entire lives without knowing they had a dream
4:34 PM
i cant imagine that
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I definitely dreamed when I was smoking but they weren't as vivid and I'd never remember them for more than a few seconds
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(everybody dreams, not everyone remembers them)
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Still sober blah blah blah 💛
💛 1
👍 4
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something I can't wait to do once lockdown's over is take the day at my own pace - when I was smoking, if I had errands to run or something I'd rush around as soon as I woke up and everything would irritate me, because I was basically racing through the day to get home and smoke
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good to see you @M1NDFEEDER
💛 1
4:40 PM
how are you finding Douglas Adams?
4:42 PM
other than quote worthy 😜
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 4:43 PM
👉 Just a reminder as we've reach a quiet moment -- while there's value in speaking, there's also value having a quiet session together, so let's not stress the silence. If you have something to say then great, but even if no one is talking we're all still here together. 🙂
🥰 1
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I'll wish you all luck tonight, today & tomorrow 💛 emergency ciggy leave
🙂 4
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🤐I'll pm you @Ghastles
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Have a great day @honestly ! stay strong!
💛 1
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Turns out civ 6 is still a hard game for me to commit to a start sober lol
😆 2
4:52 PM
But at least I’m killing time and not stressing
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Famous last words before a mass migration or world war
👍 1
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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hey all, stopping by quickly before it closes, still going strong ! sending much love and support to you all 🙂
🙂 2
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just popping in before it closes as well. a little over 7 months here. doing pretty alright
👋 2
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Have a nice day everyone going for a jog right now ✌️
👋 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 4:59 PM
👉Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes. There's something I really like about these quiet check-in sessions. A nice contrast to the afternoon. We'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! Hope to see each of you back!
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good day everyone!
👋 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Alright, closing the doors gently and quietly. See you all soon!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
Avatar
⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hi Leaves -- please jump in, say hello, and let us know how you're doing!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 07/05/2020 10:00 PM
hello, doing alright day 10
👋 1
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doing good today, acid reflux is under control thanks to wedge pillow
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:03 PM
👉 We'd love to hear from lurkers. If you've been hanging back now's a great time to say hello. 🙂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 07/05/2020 10:04 PM
i havent seen the chat this quiet before
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:06 PM
I think it will come and go. There are people here, I'm not worried if they want to talk specifically or not. If you look at the sidebar those are people who came here to be with a group of people doing the same thing, trying to quit, and here we are. 🙂
10:08 PM
But here's a topic for the day if anyone would like to contribute: Why we quit and why it matters.
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sorry for always lurking, i feel like i always miss the times when this chat is open
10:09 PM
but i’ve been sober for 2 weeks now. i had to quit due to HPPD
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:09 PM
Hey @Deleted User 🙂
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hello!
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:09 PM
I have a t-shirt with that on it. 🙂
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haha so do i
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:10 PM
Is it the arrow pointing to the chicken?
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indeed it is
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:10 PM
YEESSS!
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Good afternoon. quick checkin between zeds
🙂 2
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hi guys hope everyone's having a good day/night
👋 1
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just wondering, has anyone else in this chat struggled with HPPD?
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Hello!
👋 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:11 PM
It was a joke in my wife's (big) family, so they gave them out at an event.
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haha nice! i have a matching shirt with my niece
😆 1
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@Deleted User how are ya feeling two weeks in?
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:13 PM
@Deleted User I used psychedelics a lot, but never ended up with HPPD thankfully. What are your symptoms?
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i feel so much better than i did the first week. the withdrawals were so bad, i got hella depressed
10:13 PM
but it’s manageable now. i still have my bad moments ofc
10:14 PM
and my symptoms are visual snow, tracers, after images, and brief tinnitus
10:14 PM
i’m hoping it’ll get better over time so i can ease my way back into shrooms
10:14 PM
but i’m never touching LSD or DXM again haha. i was using LSD weekly for about 3 or 4 months and DXM periodically too it fucked me up bad
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:15 PM
<just a reminder that other drugs are off-topic for us here. 🙂 Let's stick to weedstuff>
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Good afternoon everyone! 31 days strong after 10 years of smoking. ✊
👋 4
👍 3
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 07/05/2020 10:15 PM
hell yeah
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that's awesome @IssaBLR , how has the month been for you?
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@Deleted User Ayyy progress. That week 1:week 2 difference was huge for me
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for real, it made such a difference. my cravings are almost gone now
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maxatrillion. 07/05/2020 10:18 PM
Hello friends, just wanted to quickly check in and say hola
👋 3
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I had cravings start to flair up around week 3/week 4 and now the last couple days I’ve noticed they’ve gotten way better (36 days or so on)
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@dinnyhoon awesome name! The octopus is my favorite animal lol and it's been eye opening, showed me issues that are worth worrying about and those that are not. Happy with the decision to quit for sure though.
👍 1
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@IssaBLR thanks haha I think I took the name from a gfycat filename so nothing too creative
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lmao gfycat
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when I moved to a country without weed for a few months, my dream rebound was super bad. I can’t remember how long it took for them to normalize. I’m still getting these wildly vivid ass nightmares
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its amazing how on the nose some of those random filenames are
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Hoping they relax sometime in the coming weeks. I’m playing out such stressful situations every night lol
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@yames I've actually started reading this book about dreams to figure out what the heck my mind is subconsciously thinking about!
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I think I'm lucky so far, my dreams have been crazy vivid but only about dumb stuff, no nightmares or introspective stuff yet
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I beasted a calculus quiz this morning. I doubt I could have made it this far while getting stoned.
👍 1
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my dreams are actually very obvious to me in terms of what thoughts they’re from. They bang me over the head with their themes hahaha. I’m just tired of them
10:24 PM
I tend towards very clear nightmares weed or not
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Considering a third of our lives are sleeping/dreaming I figured it might be important to listen to them. What are you dreams consisting of @yames ?
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When I wake up I’m like “oh yeah that makes sense thAt I dreamt about that”
10:25 PM
Just lots of stuff I tend to be anxious about - notging out of left field
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Great job @Albert C. !
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Gratzi
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Sometimes I wish I had more cryptic dreams haha. It’s all day in the life shit
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@yames sometimes those are the most cryptic dreams itself, sometimes it's just your mind showing you what's worrying you and it's your awake self to make the change to feel better.
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I have a lot of anxiety and intrusive thoughts during the day (usually in the shower where I can't distract myself) but that stuff doesn't seem to be affecting my dreams just yet. I'm trying to mentally prepare in case I start to get nightmares
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last dream involved a burning house on top of a steep hill, with ghosts aimlessy wandering around, a protagonist in a car with no brakes, or power steering, rolling down the hill's super windy road, trying to stay on it, while mowing over charred ghosts that turned to ash and cinder when the car hit thrm, and rematerialising when it passed (edited)
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no breaks!
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@dinnyhoon Good call. Im the same re: anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I find after a particularly bad one, I wake up and just wanna smoke away feeling weird about it. So good to steel yourself however ya can
10:29 PM
Important to just say fuck dat shit and start your day as best you can
👍 2
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every car in my dreams has no breaks.
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whoa that's crazy @Ghastles
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I think it's about a lack of control, or feeling helpless.
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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@dinnyhoon they'll prob come at some point, the trick is not to focus on them and take away the parts that are influential. One time I had a dream i was in the cannibal holocaust and was transported to this weird heaven, it was a trip but I liked how my mind could create this weird setting lol
👍 1
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yesterday my girlfriend told me she wanted to start watching the US Office for the first time and I just spent all night dreaming that I was in an episode of the Office
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that’s fire
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Day 4 and uh. I'm not usually an angry person. But I've been feeling just so irrationally mad at nothing. I'm just so irritable. It's hard.
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@dinnyhoon , not @IssaBLR. Your dream is crazy my guy 😂
10:31 PM
That’s really interesting
10:31 PM
I never get anywhere near supernatural / fictional stuff like that
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@slyfri someone told me that's called quiet confidence !
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hey @slyfri congratulations on 4 days!
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@slyfri Great job on four Days! I'm happy you're here and I was the most passive aggressive person before smoking and now I just let my mind speak for itself so its understandable lol
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@slyfri 4 days is great progress, especially dealing with those side effects!
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I promise that irritability will pass, and you will start feeling better in no-time (relatively).
10:34 PM
side note. Eeeeeeek, I love your hoodie!
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@slyfri I felt that way too, for a while. People still make me angry sometimes, I just try to deal with it or not let it happen.
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I always say it's those feelings that you tried to bury and they come back to bite you in floods of emotions. As @Ghastles says they'll start to regulate over time as you start to figure yourself out a bit more.
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for me days 4-6, I was super irritable and had a couple of bad meltdowns (I have ASC)
10:35 PM
my usual fix for a meltdown was to smoke so I just had to ride that wave for hours, it sucked
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Thank you! I have to stop to health reasons. I was just diagnosed with supraventricular tachycardia. Basically my heart beats super fast and weed triggered an episode so bad I went to the ER. So now I know I definitely cant have anymore. The added stress of my diagnosis and quitting hasn't been a good combo. Thanks for all the encouragement though! I know I can do this. It sure is a lot harder to quit then I thought. @Ghastles @IssaBLR @dinnyhoon @Albert C.
👍 3
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pz all. the urge to return my pillow is FAR too strong. Glad everyone is staying strong, staying sober, and hope to hear good news from @everyone tommorrow
👋 3
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Great to see you again, stay strong! @Ghastles!
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maxatrillion. 07/05/2020 10:38 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I downloaded Feeling Better on audiobook from my library. Put it in last night before bed. Narrators voice put me out in seconds. So soothing
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@slyfri that is a hard diagnosis to cope with and the anxieties from both that and not smoking is probably very strong. You CAN do this though, it's tough but manageable.
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@slyfri yeah the irritability is tough. that physiochemical rebound can bring out lots of bad feelings. Glad to hear that you know you can do it, because you definitely can !
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:39 PM
@maxatrillion. lol THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
😂 2
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maxatrillion. 07/05/2020 10:39 PM
Better than any sleep aid on the market
👍 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:40 PM
Whatever you need at any particular moment Max. 🙂
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maxatrillion. 07/05/2020 10:40 PM
But I’m going to listen to a chapter per night. Probably a few hours before bed time so I can actually get something out of it
👍 1
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slightly related - if anyone's struggling to sleep in the first few nights, Sleep With Me is a great podcast to have on at night. He has a great voice to fall asleep to and tells long, winding stories with super long tangents. Knocks me right out
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@dinnyhoon will check it out. Lately I’ve been picking a category and trying to come up with things from in category, A to Z. I usually don’t make it halfway thru the alphabet
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@yames that's a cool trick, I'll have to try it out! For me, if I get stuck awake, I become super aware of my tinnitus so having some audio on helps a great deal
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When I was smoking a lot I thought I had a heart attack, caused by some sort of primeval voodoo, in hindsight it was probably a severe panic/anxiety attack.
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@dinnyhoon quick tip for tinnitus for instant relief, cup your hands over your ears for 30 secs or more to create a vacuum seal. It rings loud for a second but as soon as you take your hands away it's pure silence. I've done it several times, its crazy how it works.
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@IssaBLR oh cool, that sounds like a good one! reddit always mentions a method where you slap the back of your head with your fingers but it never worked for me. I'll try yours next time!
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Recently weed made me really concious of my heartbeat. So I managed my anxiety. But one night I took 1 puff of my vape cart and my heart shot up to 160bpm and I fainted for a second. Terrifying really. It stayed that way for hours. Honestly I've been wanting to quit but never was motivated. Now I know I HAVE to quit.
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@Albert C. may not be the same thing but a friend of mine quit smoking after 10 years after what he thought were heart problems turned out to be panic attacks
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@dinnyhoon awesome and let me know if it works! I sound insane telling it to other people but I swear it works lol
👍 1
10:49 PM
@slyfri that sounds like as great as a motivation as ever, I'm glad you made the decision to have to quit before it gets worse.
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@dinnyhoon It can cause issues .. Actually its pretty interesting to me that other people have had similar issues. I think a lot of people don't understand that it's a real problem caused by weed. (edited)
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you may also have anxiety problems
10:49 PM
weed masks that kind of thing
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@slyfri I hope you saw a doctor
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I went to the ER right after and that's when I was diagnosed with supraventricular tachycardia. I now take heart medication and my doctor is meeting with me regularly to monitor my health.
10:51 PM
I didnt know it was dangerous I thought I was just a little anxious
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@slyfri I wish you stay well!
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dag yo
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Thanks so much everyone. I'm happy there are friendly strangers to cheer me on! And I wish you luck with your sobriety as well!
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I know this chat is about to end and all but I recommend some type of meditation or something where you can totally blank your mind to the first couple weeks of quitting. It will help with the racing thoughts and the feelings of overwhelming yourself. I'm not an expert at all, but it's helped me a lot and has allowed me to get a better understanding on how to deal with my emotions. @Moderator -- Subduction has a whole thread about meditation and other great resources too.
👍 1
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I love meditation. <3 I will check that out!
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@Deleted User thank you for stopping by and hope to see you again soon!
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I don't like meditation.
🙂 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. I'm so happy to see even more new people, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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@slyfri thanks for joining and sharing! keep up the great work!
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I can't do it right. lol
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thanks again for talking with me guys, a place like this keeps me focused on staying sober for the right reasons
🥰 2
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Takes practice and patience. When you get the hang of it though its magic
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@Albert C. honestly theres no right way to do it, there could be a ton of different ways you can approach it. The point is to get to the place where you can listen to yourself if you can catch what I mean?
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Moderator -- Subduction 07/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alright folks, I'm closing the doors. I'm going to go call my sister, who also has supraventricular tachycardia well-controlled by medication. See you tomorrow!
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it's like, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing stuff..
11:00 PM
Adios!
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Peace eveybody!! Stay strong and stay safe!!
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dynoSuccess Locked channel #backstage
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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dynoError That channel is already unlocked.
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:01 PM
Hello Leaves! Good morning, afternoon, or whatever it is wherever you are! I'm Subduction, I had ten years as an active addict and now I have 21 years quit. I'll be hanging back managing the channel today. These early sessions can sometimes have the feel of a check-in session, where people pop in and say hello, so if we have some quiet times don't stress it, just jump in and say hi!
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:03 PM
hello
4:03 PM
1 week offically clean but I have an interesting question. Would smoking pure CBD be the same as smoking weed?
4:04 PM
My eating has gotten worse and I lost another lb this week. Along with the sleep stuff I'm not doing too well at all. I was wondering if smoking CBD for the appetite and sleep benefits would be appripriate or acceptable
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:06 PM
Well, let me ask, why did you focus in on CBD as the remedy for your problems? Why not Pepto-Bismol and Nytol? (hint: this is a trick question 🙂
4:09 PM
You've decided the taking something is the answer to remediating your symptoms, and there's nothing wrong with that. Taking things help. But your first go-to is something that is very, very close to what you had a problem with.
4:10 PM
It can seem like you're saying "You know, I think that getting out and dating is the best way to get over this relationship with Mike, so I'm going to call Mike's twin brother."
4:10 PM
It it really for the reasons you're talking about?
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6 days in
4:22 PM
i felt really good yesterday, felt my ambition coming back
4:22 PM
hoping it continues today
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:23 PM
@Blizz Good to hear! You have up days and down days, but now you know it can come back even if you don't feel it every day. That's important.
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I’m on day 6 as well Blizz. I’m finding myself able to enjoy my hobbies again, stuff I was neglecting during quarantine because I was focused on just being high
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:28 PM
@Jay The earliest hobby I rediscovered when I quit is one I still practice to this day, that I call "making enough money to pay my rent." 🙂
4:28 PM
I let that slide quite a bit when I was getting high.
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Hey guys, hows it going. im new here and wanted to introduce myself. For me its been a few days without smoking and I wanted to ask if any of you guys had trouble falling asleep at night after going to bed sober. It took me hours last night and its been really hard not to back to old patterns/ drink some alcohol to take of the edge.
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Yup finally able to enjoy games again
4:31 PM
Hey @Mörxl i had problems with sleep too, only thing that helped was reading until my body eventually just fell asleep
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:32 PM
Welcome @Mörxl ! We have a user on Leaves who reposts sleep advice fairly often. It's a lot of good advice to help get your sleep under control. One sec, let me find it...
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That was only day 3 and 4 though, 5 was much much better
4:32 PM
@Jay nice, only 1 more day till we're 1 week clean! What hobbies are you doing now?
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@Blizz thanks, ill try that!
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:33 PM
Here it is -- it's a good collection of other Leaves posts on sleep. https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
11 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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Thanks!!
🙂 1
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Just listening to music and playing video games without getting instantly bored and frustrated. It’s not a lot but so much better than just sulking through quarantine
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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yeah when i was high, i was on like auto drive while watching and playing things, not really giving it 100% juts trying to find something to do while high, now i feel like i can actively put my mind to something
4:35 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction what made you quit after 10 years?
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:35 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction cbd because my stomach is sensitive
4:35 PM
I can't even drink apple juice without having my stomach burn
4:36 PM
what about cbd oil?
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Relapsed in October and haven't been able to stop on my own. My bipolar symptoms go crazy and I have a mental health crisis every time I stop. Lots of self harm, violence, destruction, fights, etc Tapering doesn't work for me, I'll always go back to full blown smoking all day every day. Decided I'm going to go back to rehab since it's the only thing that worked. Last time I did rehab I stayed sober 10 months and nearly turned my life around. This time, after completing my 60-90 days, I'm going to go to sober living instead of going back home because my Mom and my horrible apartment always lead me to smoke again. (edited)
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:39 PM
@Earth aw man I relate a lot, I had a full blown complete anorexia relapse ecause of quarantine and a shitty living situation but I somehow was able to stop smoking, it was hard the first few days than the rest before I spent time doing other things. The hobbies idea is so helpful.
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:39 PM
@Blizz I quit because I was having all the symtoms many people at leaves have. Uncontrollable anxiety, depression, failing to meet my responsibilities, and just living from high to high. Ultimately I checked into rehab and spent a year in outpatient.
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:40 PM
I'm thinking of going outpatient or residential for anorexia. My boyfriend thinks i'm going to die after seeing me for the first time in 2 months.
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:41 PM
Here's my long take, @Reality Winner 🙂 If it's truly pure CBD oil with absolutely no THC there's no technical reason not to use it from an addiction perspective. If it has even miniscule amounts of THC, however, then you run real risk. As someone quitting, if you buy it with "only" 0.005 percent THC then next time you're almost guaranteed to say "well if 0.005 wasn't a problem, then I'll just try this 0.01..." and then you're on your way back. Honestly though, I think you should be suspicious about suddenly getting interested in a remedy that is very closely related to the substance you're trying to give up. Your brain will do whatever it can to get you smoking again, and CBD is an easy way to keep you in the habit while it works on your resolve. It's a bit like an alcoholic suddenly taking an interest in eating hops... 🙂
👍 2
4:42 PM
What's holding you back from getting treatment for anorexia @Reality Winner
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:42 PM
Honestly I'm just more concerned about my eating. Ever since quitting I have zero incentive to eat at all. My calorie intake is really bad and I have heart palpitations and I haven't seen a doctor for these things. I would rather take the risk of relapsing than dying alone here lol
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@Earth how long have you been smoking for?
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:43 PM
what is hops?
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That sounds like a lot to cope with at once @Reality Winner . I don’t really have advice, just sympathy and empathy.
4:43 PM
Have you tried sticking to soft but relatively high calorie foods like cottage cheese and hummus?
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@Reality Winner whats stopping you from setting a doctors appointment right now?
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:43 PM
Glad you made it here @Earth . I'm a big fan of rehab. So much of what I learned there is built into how we do things at r/leaves.
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@Reality Winner the plant beer is made of
4:43 PM
*mostly
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:44 PM
No insurance or money. My mother doesn't want me to go out and get sick because I have a high risk of dying from corona.
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i been smoking every day for about 17 years with windows of quitting here and there that lasted a few months.... (edited)
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:44 PM
I have been eating high calorie dense foods.
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*17 not 27
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:44 PM
Or trying to. But it;s hard. I have zero appetitie. I get full easily and Im in pain all the time. It really sucks.
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Have you tried the high calorie protein shakes? You gotta make sure your body is getting some nutrition
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Yeah I like rehab because it was an environment where I had no access to herb, constant people to socialize with, and I was able to start slow instead of being thrown into stress my brain couldnt deal with... much less risk of relapse @Moderator -- Subduction (edited)
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:45 PM
I drink 2 high protien shakes a day to try presserving my remaining muscle mass and to protect my heart.
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that might at least help until things settle down and you are able to see a doctor
4:45 PM
ah
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:45 PM
Honestly I'm enjoying sobreity alot more than I thought it would. Maybe it's apart of me happy that I'm no longer getting munchies...
4:46 PM
Also my head is much more clear.
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it feels really good once you can feel the poison leaving your body
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:47 PM
I think quarantine here ends next week so I might be able to go out finally and see someone with my mum. My birthday is sunday though and I feel really depressed about other things.
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:47 PM
As I'm sure you know, though, @Reality Winner, anorexia isn't a problem with nutrition or appetite or stomach discomfort, it's something you need to be under a doctor's care to address. And it can be a deadly disease, so it's very important that you try to overcome your barriers to treatment.
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are you guys using any apps to keep track of time and money saved? someone here recommended grounded: cannabis app and it's helped me a lot
4:48 PM
anytime my urges are at their strongest, i go look at the timer and imagine it going back to 0
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what does that app do?
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:50 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction This is true, thanks for the honest opinion on the CBD though. I hope I can see my old doctor if I can get some sort of insurance thing figured out.
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Helps keep track of how long you've been off, daily check ins so you can record how you're feeling, what you used to cope, tells you how much money you've saved over
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:51 PM
And thanks to everyone here, my wish for my 21st birthday was to be weed free and clear headed in 2020 and it happened!
🙂 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:51 PM
@Reality Winner Since "no insurance" is a problem for you I know you're American, 🙂 Keep in mind that there are very good low fee telehealth options, especially for counseling. there are also public assistance programs if you pass income tests like Medicaid.
4:52 PM
@Reality Winner I'm honestly hopeful for you. It sounds like you are really thinking about how to get this sorted, and that bodes well for your future.
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:52 PM
Hopefully, I'll see, I'm a college student but I'm a dependent on an immigrant so it's a weird situation.
4:53 PM
It's terrifying how quitting weed unvieled how bad things were though. Spooky.
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@Reality Winner I know depression can make everything feel overwhelming and suffocating, but you just turned 21! You're super young and have so much time to do the stuff you want to do, don't ever feel like it's too late to turn things around
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:54 PM
I'm not 21 yet huehue...
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in 2 days**
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Reality Winner 08/05/2020 4:54 PM
yuss
4:54 PM
I just want to see my friends eat pizza and enjoy my first legal drink, and more nachos. and Dance music
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉Alright folks, we'll be closing in two minutes. So great to see you all, especially the new faces! We'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! Hope to see each of you back!
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congrats @Reality Winner
4:59 PM
thanks for the support everyone, its crazy to talk to people who actually are going through the same thing
4:59 PM
but great too
🙂 3
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thanks for doing this guys, see you maybe later but definitely tomorrow.
👍 3
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 5:01 PM
👉 Okay, closing the doors, hope to see you all later! Afternoons are usually a busier session, but let's see how it goes. Bye!
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Closing...
5:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! Let's kick off the conversation, and if you're new, please say hello, we'd love to meet you!
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It's me and I am TWO WEEKS weed free 😄
10:01 PM
I am sometimes miserable but I feel great!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:01 PM
@Katelyn YES! That's great!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:01 PM
hey
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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@Moderator -- Subduction I remember bitching to you over 2 weeks ago about how hard this is and I am here and it feels just fine
10:02 PM
If I can do it anyone can
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:02 PM
🙂 Both are true! It's a long process.
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Hello!
👋 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:02 PM
i had a horrible day. i snapped at work, like really bad
10:03 PM
i was screaming at my boss
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I am sorry that really fricks stuff up
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:03 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant That is hard.
10:03 PM
Have you had a chance to back it down?
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That sounds intense.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:05 PM
not really, he wont really talk to me. he went to the owner, and he said he'll offer me more money but i still feel bad
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more money is good
10:06 PM
so it sounds sort of beneficial
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:08 PM
ehh its just a band aid really. i hate this job, the anger has been building for awhile. im going to apologize on monday i just hope they dont mention it if i need a reference when i leave
10:08 PM
i cant exactly tell them the reasons i snapped
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:08 PM
It's okay to regret your actions, no matter what else happens. Even if he was wrong and you were right, if you feel bad about how you acted then it's worth trying to make that right.
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from my position, the working world looks like a circus
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:10 PM
But my suggestion so you don;t eat yourself up this weekend is to write out everything that's going through your head. "I should have..." "He's going to..." etc. Everything that's causing you stress. If you feel a repetitive thought about it keep coming up, write it down.
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yesterday I snapped at someone in a gaming server/community I was playing on, I felt so bad and I hadn’t made myself feel like that for hurting someone in a long time
10:11 PM
but I messaged him and explained why I was mad and apologized and he forgave me
10:11 PM
also, my break is going very well, day 3 and I am feeling pretty good
👍 2
🙂 1
10:11 PM
🙂
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that's positive
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Hey hey everyone! Quick check in cause I'm still working. But great to see everyone!!
👋 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:13 PM
Hey Bondo!
10:15 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant When you have your list of things that are stressing you out, go through them and challenge them. Like "He's going to mention this in job interviews and wreck my future employment...If I apologize it's unlikely he'll do that, and it's not even really likely he'll do that anyway..." etc.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:15 PM
i just texted my boss to apologize
👍 1
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sup guys
👋 1
10:19 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant if its a big corporate job, they won't say anything bad about you due to legal reasons if they get called for references, family and small businesses however its a diff story
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@Blizz That's a good point.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:21 PM
it's a small business. im more bothered that i yelled at the wrong person
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i felt really really good yesterday but the feeling faded today, idk if cause im fatigued maybe from the dentist but i hope the feeling comes back
10:22 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant as long as you apologize, i think you'll be okay. they should understand everyone's stressed more than normal with this pandemic
👍 1
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant people are more receptive to apologies than you might expect, and if you frame it like you said-- you got wrong at the wrong person--your boss will know you care about your job and probably understand.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:23 PM
that's literally what it is. im doing the job of the 2nd highest paid person in the shop in a different department, but im the 2nd lowest paid person in the shop. he won't come to work and even before this he just no shows and they make me pick up his slack and i get nothing in return and they don't reprimand anyone
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It's easy to let the worst case scenario spiral out of control in your own thoughts
10:24 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Yeah that is super stressful. When other people let you down it can hurt bad.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:24 PM
half the people that work there are high or drunk, and just fuck off all day. so i get put under more stress than i need then they give me like a 50 cent raise
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant It's totally reasonable to be pissed.
👍 1
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nepotism is king in small and family businesses
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:25 PM
i should have gone after the owner, not my boss who just does what he's told
10:26 PM
my boss is usually the understanding one
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I'd look for a way to use all that power. (edited)
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant well he/she will probably understand why you were so angry, too.
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I sure don't miss the extra anger the early withdrawals creates. Hi 👋🏻
👋 1
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ill talk you guys later, im gonna try to get some running in before it starts to rain again, keep strong everyone
🙂 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:30 PM
later man
10:30 PM
how's everyone else doing?
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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I'm good , TGIF
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:31 PM
sunday is 2 weeks for me
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I'm all good 😇
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:32 PM
despite losing my temper which was inevitable, i feel pretty good
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hey everyone! had to reset my number back to 0 after taking 2 puffs last night.
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:33 PM
What were the circumstances @Lou ?
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I lead a meeting yesterday and felt so good after doing my presentation, that I decided to "celebrate" but wanted to not get BBQ'ed, so I took 2 puffs and threw it away
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Good afternoon /leavers
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so weird to celebrate your sobriety by ... not being sober... lapse in logic (edited)
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@Lou AH the celebration trap, lol.
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:38 PM
It is funny how we decide something isn't right for us, or possibly doing us harm, but then we immediately reach for it as a "celebration." 🙂
10:38 PM
Hey @Ghastles !
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@Lou That knocked me off the bandwagon a couple of times
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missed morning group, was on the highway, so couldnt stop :( but still sober!
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@Lou I was practicing law not a long time ago and made it a few days, had a work week where I didn't want to murder anyone, and dug out my stash 'just once' for a months long deep dive right back into the shit pit
10:40 PM
Bring proud made me think I was cured lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:41 PM
A long time ago, before I was using, I saw Dennis Hopper on Letterman talking about his recovery. Letterman asked "do you ever think you'll feel so bad that you'll use drugs again?" And Hopper said "The bigger risk is that I'll feel so good that I'll use drugs again." Even before I knew I was an addict that stuck with me.
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whoooooa!!! that's spot effing' on, mate.
10:43 PM
The weird thing is, I felt "high" after stepping "off-stage" from the big meeting / presentation I did. it was like a nervous energy (edited)
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Better get high again before you start to like yourself!!
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Howdy all
👋 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:45 PM
It's like your addiction found that moment to say "Like that feeling? It's about to fade, but I have just the thing to help..."
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10:47 PM
How are you feeling @Default ?
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Great! Just at work lol
10:47 PM
How are you doing?
10:48 PM
Its a beautiful day here
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:48 PM
Good! Just at Leaves (my work) 🙂
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The weird thing is, I felt "high" after stepping "off-stage" from the big meeting / presentation I did. it was like a nervous energy
@Lou I like presentations for this reason. Weird natural high of nervousness, I'm into that!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:49 PM
i like that feeling of relief after
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I like shaking for 45 minutes and reflecting on everything i could have done better /s
😆 2
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@Moderator -- Subduction you're filled with wisdom, that's exactly what it was, "like that feeling? it's about to fade, but I have just the thing to help..."
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:51 PM
ironically in high school i had to give a presentation on drugs and alcohol. i was so nervous i asked if i could skip it. i mentioned how weed is technically addictive and all the stoners got mad
10:51 PM
now look at me
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:52 PM
@Lou Been there! 🙂
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What high school taught about drugs was pretty weak.
10:54 PM
As someone who first got started in high school, I wish there were people like counselors available to youths who didn't seem just to be pushing an agenda .
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Wondering how can I get past the, "life is boring whilst sober" idea that's engrained in my head. it takes willpower for me to lead a "mundane" life - i put it in quotes because I know it's untrue
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@Lou do you think Neil Armstrong smoked weed?
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i'm so hyped... I went to the city, and brough back my mattress. for the last 6 months, ive been sleeping on a cot, then hide-abed... that was old enough that uh.... every single night, could feel the metal coil/wiring stabbing me.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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I see your point, do dope stuff in life. - not smoke dope 😄 (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:56 PM
i went to a private school, we all had to present on a topic in biology class. i also showed some of requiem for a dream hahah
😆 1
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I have to get comfortable with the fact that I don't sit still. A lot of my use was focused around being less bored with what I was doing-- which was often nothing. It'
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thats whats keeping me going
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It's ok to be bored
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ESPECIALLY in lockdown
10:56 PM
Jedi master at boredom now
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how long di dyou stop for @Lou
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super looking forward to sleeping on a real bed! and hoping that being able to get proper sleep will help with these ongoing withdrawls.
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Weird thing that kind of helps is a fidget cube and just getting up and pacing around the house for a minute.
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:57 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I also went to a private school, and learned from my classmates that if parents just give their kids disposable cash, they will dispose of it on drugs.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:57 PM
yee lots of drugs at my school
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I stopped for over a year and a half before. after being a wake and baker for 10 yrs. but then, this quarantine and being home all the time threw me for a loop. so it had been about a week before I smoked last night
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:57 PM
I didn't start all that until later.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 08/05/2020 10:57 PM
cocaine especially
10:58 PM
my english teacher's son was known to be the schools hook up for everything. all the teachers knew
10:58 PM
we had a special teacherless class one day where the seniors taught the freshman to be responsible
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If I can get sober literally anyone can
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I went to a vocational school, we just drank our parents liquor like normal degenerates. I woulda spent an allowance on tripp pants 😦
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you don't remember enjoying things sober during that year and a half @Lou ? cause its gonna be a week or two before you can enjoy things again sober if you went on a bender, gotta get it all out of your system and your brain reset
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 10:59 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in one minute, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So great to see you all, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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cya tmw guys, officially 1 week at 12 am
💛 4
👍 2
🙂 3
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Good times everyone keep up the struggle!!! congrats @Blizz
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thanks everyone! ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 08/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alright all, I'm going to close the doors and go look through my high school yearbook. See you tomorrow!
❤️ 1
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:00 PM
Good morning Leaves!
4:00 PM
Our first sessions on the weekend often have a quieter tone, so if we have some time where no one's talking, don't stress the silence and don't be afraid to say hello. There's always someone here. I'll start the check-ins this morning: I'm Subduction. I was an everyday smoker for ten years, and now I have 21 years quit. Now you -- say hello let us know how you're doing with your quit...
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Good morning / leavers.
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:02 PM
Good morning @Ghastles ! How are things today?
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is @everyone doing well?
4:03 PM
they are good thank you! Yourself @Moderator -- Subduction ?
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:03 PM
Good! My wife is making that whipped coffee stuff. It's the little things.
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:04 PM
It's one of the few Instagram trends that actually panned out to be as good/better than the hype
4:04 PM
What day is it for you now?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:05 PM
good morning
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16! good morning @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:05 PM
Morning @Darknet Shrimp Merchant .
4:05 PM
Good to see you, how are you doing today?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:06 PM
doing alright, pretty bored. its snowing here so im stuck inside
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:06 PM
@Ghastles Nice! How much wood have you chopped? 🙂
4:06 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Snowing! We got zero snow this season in DC. None. Ain't right.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:07 PM
I'm in Maine. Pretty late for snow even for Maine
4:08 PM
My boss texted me back and accepted by apology so i feel better about that
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we got a bit of snow overnight, but it melted already
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:09 PM
Good morning all
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:09 PM
good morning
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good morning @maxatrillion. !
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:09 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Maine is one of my favorite places. We have a bunch of friends there, and I got engaged in Ogunquit, so... 🙂
4:10 PM
good morning @maxatrillion. !
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:10 PM
Its a cool place just not to live
4:10 PM
I wanna go down to NH
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:10 PM
So I decided to delete Twitter and Facebook last night and it is giving me the same anxiety I felt when I quit weed. weird
👍 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:11 PM
deleting facebook was very good for my mental health
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:11 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant I'm from Mass, and have a bunch of friends in Maine, Vermont, but no New Hampshire. It's beautiful tho
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:11 PM
I think Twitter was more problematical for me actually
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:11 PM
It is a beautiful place except for the tail end of winter
4:12 PM
I like that i live in the city but still get all of the benefits of a rural area
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:12 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Mud and flies season?
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@maxatrillion. what made you do it? thinking about leaving Facebook and IG too
👋 2
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:13 PM
I spent over 8 hours a day on my phone in the last week, and that bummed me out
👍 1
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:13 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction the snow just lingers and its ugly. yeah very muddy and dark
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@ subduction, way too many. Took yesterday off, had other stuff to do, and might take today off too. Dunno if it was the city, or if I inhaled some cleaner last night, but my lungs are killing me today. and kinda feeling physically exhausted, but mentally clear
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:13 PM
I’ll make an exception for this chat
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:13 PM
i deleted facebook, still use twitter but i only follow artists and tech people
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:14 PM
I know, I started using Discord only three weeks ago, NOW I'M ON HERE TWO HOURS A DAY. 🙂
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:14 PM
I was getting into so many arguments on Twitter, which went no where of course
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:15 PM
I've found that Twitter has some really good communities. Programmers and tech people on twitter are awesome. Politics twitter is a swamp
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:15 PM
Yep, I was addicted to it as I am weed
4:15 PM
Even sports Twitter is toxic
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thats true @Darknet Shrimp Merchant , though you can find most of those tech people on efnet or freenode
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:16 PM
ooh i've never heard of those
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and actually talk to them
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:16 PM
If I get caught up in a social media argument, I've taken to asking myself explicitly, like I'm looking in a mirror, "okay, do I feel better or worse for having replied?" I reply thinking I'm going to feel better, but the answer is always "worse." I'm slowly learning my lesson.
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ooh boy
4:17 PM
dont go down the IRC rabbithole :p
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:17 PM
I purged a lot of my reddit subs and that also made me feel better. The large subs are horrible
👍 1
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:18 PM
In the last two weeks I’ve definitely channeled my anxiety into picking fights on twitter thinking it somehow was helping. I was wrong about that.
👍 1
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that reminds me
4:18 PM
man there are more and more troll posts as /leaves gets bigger
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Good morning everyone! 33 days sober from weed today.
👋 3
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Good morning all! This is day 7 for me 🥳
👋 1
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feel bad for @Moderator -- Subduction trying to dam up the flood
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That sucks that someone would troll on leaves
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all by himself
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:19 PM
@Ghastles Always happens with a big growth spurt. It's settling back down now though.
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:20 PM
I need to purge so many subs I’ve got going. But I did delete Reddit app from my phone, so that’s a step in the right direction.
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@Moderator -- Subduction sorry, that wasnt a complaint, more an acknowledgement of the work you do to keep it "clean"
🙂 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:20 PM
If you see anything that doesn't fit, please just hit report and we'll take care of it. Please resist the urge to reply, no matter what it is. thanks!
4:21 PM
Using my newly developed python scripts to make a reddit bot that will send mods a text when there's a problem.
4:22 PM
I am quite the geek now.
👓 1
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I’m watching hoarders on Netflix with my partner today. Glad quitting my addiction doesn’t involve quite that much effort.
👍 2
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:23 PM
Watching Hoarders gives me motivation to pick up my place, that and r/neckbeardnests
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trying to mop a carpet atm.
4:24 PM
fun times will be had!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:25 PM
Since quitting I clean without even thinking
4:25 PM
Like its not a chore anymore
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right?!
4:25 PM
its great to be repulsed by messes, not just wallow in them and make them worse by neglect
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:26 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant Still waiting for that to kick in. Any minute now.
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:26 PM
I did a deep apartment clean a few days ago, but it’s crazy how messy things can get in a few days
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@Moderator -- Subduction says the married person
😆 1
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:26 PM
Especially the kitchen
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its a bit harder, when theres another around all the time
4:27 PM
you dont really think about how the messes are magically disappearing
👍 1
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:28 PM
Today I’m cleaning my car out
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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hey guys hope everyone's doing well
👋 4
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 4:30 PM
hello
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Thanks to whoever recommended the Grounded app by the way!
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@IssaBLR oh, hi there! 33 days you say? Excellent! tents fingers
4:32 PM
hrm. google proverbs repeat to much, but still relevant: "Some pursue hapiness, others create it"
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seeing my doctor this monday
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:32 PM
33 days is awesome @IssaBLR
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hopefully we can figure out an end to my acid reflux
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love your avatar @Chickens
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thanks @Ghastles
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sorry to hear about your acid reflux, but good job on going to a doctor!
4:35 PM
$deity knows it was tempting for me to just smoke to get rid of the stomach issues (edited)
4:35 PM
hopefuly they are able to help you 💛
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hopefully they dont think i have corona virus
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:36 PM
I was listening to a podcast called pardon my take and they had on an artist named Mike Posner. I had never heard him before, but I really liked the interview and looked up his music on Spotify. His new single is called Live Before I Die. Great tune about sobriety and empowerment, I recommend it for anyone’s playlist.
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one is convinced its all in my head
4:36 PM
so idk anymore
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@maxatrillion. thanks, ill check it out!
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:37 PM
I love how "all in your head" is used as an expression to try to diminish the value of something. The head is an enormously powerful place.
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Hey Yall! It's been a minute!! Been having a super rough week and was so close to giving up and taking an edible to calm down but I'm happy to say I'm 20 days sober 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:38 PM
We should be very respectful of the things that are in our heads, both good and bad.
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well i'm just hoping its not an infection, because i know there is NO way i will get antibiotics
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:38 PM
Hey @~*ALiCiA*~ That's get news, congratulations!
4:39 PM
*great
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jfc @subduction. 2 days before I had an emergency brain shunt , was at a doctors telling them i needed help. he gave me antidepressants.
4:39 PM
"all in your head" my ass
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thanks @Moderator -- Subduction !! hope youre well
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congratulations @~*ALiCiA*~ . Sorry you had a rough week, but glad you made it through!
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:41 PM
Yeah, doctors do have a hard job, so I'm compassionate with all they have to synthesize to try to be right, but they are only our consultants. We need to keep going after what we need to get well. Second opinions and consultations are important.
4:41 PM
How are you feeling now @~*ALiCiA*~ ?
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Aye. So, stay strong @Chickens ! try not to be discouraged by a single doctor
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i'm just going to try to live through th eweekend best i can
👍 1
4:42 PM
its just hard being shunned by everyone because they think u have corona
4:43 PM
but you're really on a nicotine patch that gives you constipation, dealing with withdrawl symptoms, on an acid suppresor
4:43 PM
just hit by a mack truck of side effects
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Today’s my toughest day yet in terms of cravings but I’m gonna stay strong damnit!
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plus with everyone running water all the time its hard to even get any sleep
4:44 PM
my apartment is like a water works now
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thanks @Ghastles !! I'm taking proactive measures in an effort of self preservation. Living/quarantining in a house with my best friends who all smoke and drink (to no ones detriment but mine really) is beginning to wear on me after 9 weeks so I'm heading back home on the 17th once both cities open back up. I feel like being back in my own space will help me stay focused and sober.
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i should prolly just stop typing now
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hey @Chickens happy to see you again!
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before everybody here stops talking to me too
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hey @Jay ! you got this!
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"too?"
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That’s not gonna happen @Chickens this is a support group, we don’t do petty shit to each other
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:45 PM
🙂 Typing is literally why this entire thing exists. @Chickens
👍 2
4:48 PM
@Chickens Sometimes the problems can just all feel like they piled up like the perfect wave. But perfect waves aren't stable and fall aprat pretty easily. You can pick one thing and attack it to solve it, but even if you can't many of them fade away on their own.
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:49 PM
I always used to get in my head about making noise in my apartment, but that was definitely a symptom of being stoned. Never once did I get a complaint, I just always felt paranoid my neighbors thought I was making too much noise.
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WE MADE IT @Jay
👍 1
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🤝 1
4:50 PM
🥳
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:50 PM
I started sleeping with ear plugs. It felt super weird at first, but now it's awesome.
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:50 PM
That paranoia is definitely not there anymore
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Hope you guys are doin well today
4:50 PM
finally i can say at my 1 week check in
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:51 PM
Never get sick of seeing those @Blizz
✊ 1
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:54 PM
It feels good being more confident in my day to day routine
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 4:56 PM
Weed had zapped away all my confidence, it’s good to have a little self esteem once again.
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same @maxatrillion. , my ambition to change things in my life is back instead of being content with how shit it was
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 4:57 PM
Yeah, I spent all my time either high or recovering from my last high. It's hard to get things going in that condition.
4:58 PM
I used to use the word "functional" as a brag.
👍 1
4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes. So great to see you all. We'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! Hope to see each of you back!
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Thanks for the chat all
👋 1
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I feel that sub, i used to think i was too smart to fall into the trap "all the other stoners" did
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see you tomorrow guys. @Blizz thanks for the advice with reading to fall asleep. helped a lot yesterday
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Okay, closing the doors. Going to go look at pictures of Maine cabins for sale. See you all soon!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
Avatar
⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Hello!
🙂 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves, welcome to our late session! Jump in, say hello, and tell us how you're doing!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 10:00 PM
no urges today
🙂 1
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Good afternoon all! Today’s day 7 for me and it’s tough but I feel better after a short nap
🙂 1
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Hey everybody! I finally took quitting seriously, and I admitted my struggle to my parents. They were super supportive. This is day 1 of having a clear head
👍 3
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good afternoon everyone.
🙂 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hey @sneef welcome!
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@Ghastles Hows the bed?
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Thats great @sneef ! Its hard bringing yourself to tell your parents, but i'm so glad you did, and they are looking out for you!
💙 1
10:03 PM
@Albert C. BEST SLEEP IN MONTHS!
👍 1
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hey guys! good evening.
🙂 1
👋 2
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Yeah buddy!
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how are you today?
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I'm hoping to see the UFC fight by streaming.
10:06 PM
It got me thinking about all the underground venues showing the fight against quarantine stay-at-home orders , speakeasy style. We may be in the roaring 20's after all.
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ooh right
10:07 PM
shrug
10:07 PM
idiots will always find ways to kill themselves, and others (edited)
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one way or another, there's plenty of legal ways.
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I saw in toronto, people have been using buildings as projection screens to play games
10:09 PM
it would be cool if they did that for UFC
10:09 PM
so everyone can watch it from home
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I've seen in some places that drive-in movie theaters are back
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yeah!
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@Albert C. or drive in discos. but that seems very weird haha
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on easter, my dads church had a drive in church service
10:11 PM
just like a theatre, except people were using their cae radios
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lets keep it on topic guys....
👍 1
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not my jam, but pretty ingenious
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:12 PM
Welcome @peterman! <Subduction immediately offers peterman a mod position>
😆 1
10:13 PM
How far into your quit are you?
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thank you, first time talking in this, im on day 5 today and the reddit and chat have been a constant support
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:14 PM
Well I'm glad you joined us. 🙂
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first couple days were some of the worst of my life, constant cravings, irritable, complete loss of apetite leading to nausea and sickness, but its certainly gotten better, ive gained an apetite and while i still do have cravings i feel better equipped to control it
10:15 PM
keep in mind ive been smoking multiple times daily for the past 5 year
10:16 PM
but the urge today is real...
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:17 PM
Do you still have a stash, or any way to get one easily?
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@peterman Im on day 5 too. keep it up!👍
👍 1
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i have a bong with just enough bud grinded for a single more bowl....
10:18 PM
@Mörxl good job, hows your experience been?
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during daytime its become easier to distract myself but at night i really have to keep my mind straight. here its 11:20 pm so i checked in with you guys to not fall back into old patterns
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whatcha gonna do with it @peterman ? (edited)
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@Ghastles good question.... i've thought about giving to a friend, but i just paid $60 for it :/
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@Mörxl I totally get that, the idle time in the evening, before bed, is the hardest for me as well.
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I remember after I quit, my last bowl stayed packed in my piece for months. I threw it away when I decided having a bong lying around my house wasn't a good look.
👍 2
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$60 versus ruining your life @peterman is potentially messing up your future worth $60?
👍 1
10:23 PM
because you'll be losing a lot more than that if you dont get control of your life
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@Earth great point! i read your post on leaves and found your story very inspiring and added motivation to my own journey
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 10:25 PM
I always found the problem with just taking a few days off was that once I got another taste so to speak I was back in junkie mode
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Day 6. Almost a full week. I find myself.. bored with some things and more interested in others. Going on drives are boring and make me irritable but before It was the best. (Not driving but being a passenger) Video games that take more brain power are a lot more fun which is interesting. I miss weed though. Life was easier 😭
👋 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:25 PM
There's a principle in theater called "Chekhov's Gun" and is says "Any gun introduced in the first act must go off in the second." Chekov's Bowl -- if it's there, it will, eventually, be smoked. It's how we are.
💯 2
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@Moderator -- Subduction Now I'm 10 percent more cultured
😆 2
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Not sure what post youre talking about, you might have confused me with someone else @peterman
10:28 PM
I cancelled some plans that would have profited me thousands last year, but I turned it down to go to rehab to get clean. I'd do it again.
10:28 PM
Just keeping it real, our brains are always constantly going to find excuses to use again
10:29 PM
thats the nature of the addiction and the addict-mind, it will continually find any and every excuse or reason to talk us in to getting high again
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I'll keep it short given the current topic, still sober blah blah blah
👋 2
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:30 PM
"I'm testing my dog's willpower by leaving this sandwich on the counter while I go out. I'm sure it will go great." 🙂
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alternatively
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130 days checking in
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:31 PM
Hi @Brendan welcome! 130 is awesome!
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Thx yo
10:31 PM
Everyone doin Aite?
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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day 7 squad checking in again, i thought today would be one of the hardest because i didn't have work to take my mind off of it for the morning but it's been surprisingly fine
👋 1
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@slyfri life does seem easier in hind site, but (for me) life is more interesting now.
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What do you to keep your mind busy?
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theres some pretty compelling proof that willpower is improved by resisting things, or doing something you dont want to, when something else is easier. for example, just forcing yourself to use your off hand, for 15 minutes, be it writing or using a mouse, has been shown to increase your ability to do other things you dont like, or assert your will.
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maxatrillion. 09/05/2020 10:33 PM
@Brendan doing good. At 130 days do you still get urges?
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130 days is amazing @Brendan! (edited)
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@slyfri I found that reading helps a lot, when everything else like shows/games bored me because i was going through withdrawal, reading saved me
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I like to remind myself that nothing worth doing is easy
💛 2
💯 2
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and if you can find a book you really enjoy, hours will go by without you noticing
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@Blizz what are you reading at the moment?
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@Albert C. very true. I feel I got really good at pretending to listen. I would nod along and ask follow up questions in conversation but my head was always elsewhere. I was comfortable in my haze, I'm still reluctant to get out of it. But I'm doing my best!
10:35 PM
@Blizz I have some books I should read. Thanks for the suggestion!
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@Mörxl hahaha you're revealing my nerdy side here, im on book 3 of Warhammer: The End Times at the moment
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@Mörxl "Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill is a great read also
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oh gosh @Blizz
10:36 PM
the warhammer books, and audio plays are great
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i know, dark elves are so boring, i just wanna get to skaven in book 4 lol
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i am reading "a brief history of humankind" so dont worry about beeing nerdy ^^
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though, im all about the 40k
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@Mörxl Sapiens? I loved that book
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oh man
10:37 PM
a brief history was great too (edited)
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yes! i am 120 pages in since yester. mostly because you recommended reading 🙂
10:37 PM
*yesterday
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glad i could help!
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what a great habit to replace getting high
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I moved to Japan and haven’t smoked in over 2 years. I used to think that it held me back, but the truth is that I’m the same without it. Just haven’t found any. Sober by default.
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finally started Feeling Good by David Burns.
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10:39 PM
thank you for that reccomendation @Moderator -- Subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:39 PM
Welcome @AmeriKanna ! That can be a big help.
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@Moderator -- Subduction what day are you on your journey?
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I had more friends when I was smoking, but really I don't think I liked them very much. Now I'm mostly a loner(especially recently), but I try to spend my time so that everyday I eat, work, study and exercise. And lately there's been 90's house music too.
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:41 PM
@peterman I am on day 7,969. 🙂
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10:41 PM
I think that "I finally have energy to clean my apartment" thing is going to kick in any moment now.
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Hi guys. I smoked yesterday after about a week, got hit with a giant wave of anxiety and couldn't get over it. Same thing now, except not eating is back. I start working again tomorrow and work in food service talking to people, I'm very concerned about these things acting up while working. Anyone have a similar experience?
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@Erp Yeah. I've done food service. We were encouraged by the boss to get high during shifts.
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@Erp first thing is don't be too hard on yourself, it just leads to more anxiety and that can become a vicious cycle. it's okay to fail as long as you keep trying, and you should look at it as all that marijuana that left your body while you werent smoking was likely still more than what you inhaled yesterday so it was still a net positive
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But that environment was toxic and I worked my way out!
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I wouldn't stress too much over how you are going to act tomorrow especially if you don't smoke today
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I'd suggest telling your super if you feel unconformable with your job
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I've worked this job the past few summer for four years, I'm more worried about the external weed cravings causing problems.
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There are a few times where I took a T break and when I smoked again I had like an existential crisis
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I never had issues with anxiety before I tried to stop, and am constantly flooded with it afterward.
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it's easier to avoid the cravings while you're at work because you have things to keep your mind busy
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@Erp anxiety aside, if it gets super busy at work, you will to focused on that, to worry about cravings
10:48 PM
alas, sorry to hear that you are anxious. It should pass in a few days, as withdrawls pass, but IF IT DOESNT and if it gets worse over time, try to get to a doctor, and let them know your concerns (edited)
10:50 PM
its pretty common for people to have underlying health issues, that are masked by drug use. (BUT, we arent doctors)
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Yes thank you. Just wanted to let other people know what was going on I guess.
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We see you. What you are feeling is real.
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Sorry for interrupting but I’m on week two and noticed I lost a fair amount of weight. I actually got into lifting being a stoner and was at 220 last year. Around January I was at 210 now I’m at 197 :-(. I still look ripped and lift 3 times a week, run 5 miles twice a week. Anyone have any advice for getting the calorie count back up?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 10:54 PM
weight gainer + milk + oats before bed
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Couple days skipped lunch and been pretty shit on making big meals. Just another anxiety inducing thought.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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To dwell on
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 09/05/2020 10:55 PM
easier to drink calories than to eat em
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For sure, I think my increased anxiety coupled with google search is freaking me out. Lol
10:57 PM
Just like my tongue issue which has since healed!
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So great to see even more new faces, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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alright @everyone, have a great day! hope to see you all soon! stay safe, and sober!
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Thanks guys, have a good night!
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Thanks y'all
10:58 PM
❤️
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see you tomorrow, good night 🙂
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Moderator -- Subduction 09/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alright all, I'm closing the doors. I need to go see if I have energy to clean my apartment yet. See you all tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:01 PM
morning
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:01 PM
Hello Leaves! These morning sessions, especially on weekend, can be a little quieter than other times, so please jump in and say hi, and if we have some quiet moment where we're just sitting together we won't stress that. ❤️
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:01 PM
two weeks!
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:02 PM
Heeey! Two weeks! That's great @Darknet Shrimp Merchant !
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hi everyone, hope we're all doing well
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:02 PM
really starting to feel normal again
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:02 PM
Hello @dinnyhoon !
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congratulations on 2 weeks @Darknet Shrimp Merchant!
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:02 PM
"When Normal Feels Weird" - a book by someone in recovery.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:03 PM
i studied for like 5 hours yesterday and it wasn't a struggle to focus
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant sounds great! i hope i can say too in a few days.
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:05 PM
What day are you on @Mörxl ?
4:06 PM
would be more if it wasnt for my stupid relapse on monday..
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I think the first time I came here I was in the first few days, and since then the help and advice from this group has helped me get to day 11
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:06 PM
That's great @Mörxl
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good morning everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:06 PM
Morning @Ghastles !
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:07 PM
we should have those little sobriety coins for emojis
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ugh, chips
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:08 PM
I'm new to chat too, and it's a big shift for the group, and even though many fewer people are using it than leaves (so far) I'm getting the feeling that it can have a bigger daily impact for people that check in every day. I'm hopeful about the potential of this.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:08 PM
this chat has been huge for me
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neat idea @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant for mee too. just seeing im not alone made a bigger difference than i expected
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4:13 PM
did anybody try to have "rituals" in the morning to get your day started? to start your day structured
4:15 PM
for example I started doing push ups in the morning. to activate my body because im still very tired and lack energy troughout the day.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:15 PM
yeah i do pushups
4:15 PM
im trying not to make too many changes at one so i dont stress myself out
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I used to go to the gym first thing. Start the day right 🥺
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Day 1 here.
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:17 PM
Hi @chaiman , welcome!
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not really a morning ritual but I'm making healthier eating decisions - when stoned it's super easy to just reach for a big bag of snacks instead of making a salad or something
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:19 PM
Why did you decide to quit @chaiman ?
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It's a good question actually.
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant thanks. Just ordered a set of chips, to give to my father, to give to me.
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Don't wanna keep it long. I would like to start off by saying I only feel good when I'm high. Once the sobriety kicks in, it doesn't feel right. I guess it's the truth with all sorts of addictions.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:21 PM
@Ghastles i was just thinking about doing something like that
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:22 PM
That's great @Ghastles , like that.
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It's taken best part of 3 months to stop craving chocolate 24/7 but thank god that's over with. Healthier eating is so much easier now for real
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@chaiman I know exactly what you mean, my 'default' was to be high and any time I spent sober I was resentful of not being high
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@M1NDFEEDER !¡!
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@dinnyhoon yeah appreciate it brother.
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:23 PM
It is the truth @chaiman , it's very hard to get addicted to something that isn't, at least at first, enjoyable. But it's the price that gets you in the end.
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm a huge chocolate fiend, and I'm concentrating hard on not replacing smoking with eating because I know I'll demolish a bag of snacks without thinking about it
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i guess its kinda appropiating AA... but i think the idea is solid, and its good to have something to keep with you, to remind you.
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant grats on 2 weeks!
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I'm also on Day1 on nofap and also looking forward to a dopamine detox challenge, which is going to help me find myself.
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8 day check in
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I've eaten more veg this last 2 months than the year before it. It's hard not to eat stuff like chocolate but it's doable. And I feel better for it @dinnyhoon
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I'd be wary of those "dopamine detoxs"
4:25 PM
they dont really work
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@M1NDFEEDER chocolate is soo good, especially the super bitter stuff (edited)
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@Blizz why?
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:25 PM
@Ghastles AA is happy to hand over any and all ideas they've ever had if it helps you.
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I'm a fan of dopamine detoxes but we're all different
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in my (medically unqualified) opinion dopamine is dopamine, you just need to learn to find healthier ways to get it
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in my (medically unqualified) opinion dopamine is dopamine, you just need to learn to find healthier ways to get it
@dinnyhoon yeah that's the purpose of dopamine detox.
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i feel like people have a very misunderstood view of how dopamine works, you aren't increasing the levels of dopamine you get from taking a break from the things you fidn fun
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dopamine detox... like a year stay in a sensory dep chamber?
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i feel like people have a very misunderstood view of how dopamine works, you aren't increasing the levels of dopamine you get from taking a break from the things you fidn fun
@Blizz would love to hear what you have to say about this
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I spend a day with the phone TV and music off. By halfway through I've stopped avoiding those jobs that I've been choosing not to do. Out of sheer boredom
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now taking a break to enjoy other hobbies can be beneficial for sure but dopamine isn't something you can take a "tolerance break" from
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dopamine detox... like a year stay in a sensory dep chamber?
@Ghastles haha not really. Once a day in a week without distractions.
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oh ..
4:27 PM
meh
4:28 PM
i uh...
4:28 PM
sounds like people trying to label something normal, so they feel special
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The last one I got so bored I cut my own hair though. YMMV
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:28 PM
My particular take is that we should be cautious about continuing to treat our bodies like a chemistry set that needs to be mixed by hand. Self-care is good and important, but we all spent years ordering our body to feel better immediately by taking a drug. We should be cautious about the urge to order it to feel better immediately now that we've quit. Let your body manage it's biochemistry.
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im not sure i see the difference between a "dopamine detox" and "turning off distractions to be productive"
4:29 PM
except one is trendy
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The flip side of that is that we're now so used to getting quick highs via a mobile phone that that in itself can become destructive too
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<shuts up>
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now taking a break to enjoy other hobbies can be beneficial for sure but dopamine isn't something you can take a "tolerance break" from
@Blizz I agree, but isn't the urge to burst out dopamine making us fall into all these bad distractions? I agree to the point that our neuro receptors can balance by itself. But we gotta stop pushing input while the body is at it right.
4:30 PM
The flip side of that is that we're now so used to getting quick highs via a mobile phone that that in itself can become destructive too
@M1NDFEEDER exactly
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Yes I'm a phone addict too
4:30 PM
🤷🏼‍♀️
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t's okay to get burned out of things, taking a break from it like video games can make you feel like "you enjoy it more" because you arent burned out from doing it 24/7, but im worried you guys are mixing that feeling with thinking your dopamine receptors have changed
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like, it doesnt help that apple and other brands, have admitted to engineering their ring tones and notification sounds SPECIFICALLY to release endorphens. (edited)
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I know me buddy
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well that quote failed
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I think the thing to take from all this is that for many of us, quitting weed has led us to want to make more and more improvements to our lives and the way we function, and that's fantastic
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:33 PM
Turning off your phones, getting a good night's sleep, taking care of yourself, they're all important. But we get multiple people a day on leaves falling down the rabbit hole of parsing everything they do in the context of personally managing their dopamine levels and CB2 receptors. They approach it with a suspiciously similar detail to how they were manipulating their chemistry with the drug, so I always counsel caution on the thinking. The actions are usually positive.
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And one size does not fit all
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we live in a society where "instant gratification" is the norm. be it phones, one click ordering, food delivery, taking a hoot and immediately feeling relief...
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:35 PM
dopamine detox is really a convoluted way of doing what you need to do before what you want to do
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:35 PM
As people recoverying from an addiction, we just need to be very self-aware of why we are thinking and doing things. Our addiction will take any opportunity to get us closer to using again.
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by trying to step away from that
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I'm certainly not thinking about hormones or anything when I choose an apple over a snickers or when I get through college work instead of opening civ5, I'm just pleased to finally be in the mindset that I want to work to improve myself
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:35 PM
i think based on my limited understanding of how it works
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we become the resistance, outliers of society
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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If someone told me stroking a sheep made them stop craving MJ I'd think it strange and probably not do it but I'd accept that. Let me stroke my sheep 🤷🏼‍♀️ (edited)
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theres science behind the calming effects of petting dogs
4:36 PM
why not sheep too
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I'm afraid of dogs...
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:36 PM
That also help the sheep if it's having problems too. Everybody wins.
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Yes my phone battery does love my dopamine detoxes
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:37 PM
@chaiman you should follow the path you want to take just maybe approach things from an experimental POV and make sure you aren't unintentionally making things harder for yourself yknow
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t's okay to get burned out of things, taking a break from it like video games can make you feel like "you enjoy it more" because you arent burned out from doing it 24/7, but im worried you guys are mixing that feeling with thinking your dopamine receptors have changed
@Blizz yeah, I gotta Google more on dopamine receptors now. But for sure, smartphone, computer, games, porn, junk foods etc depletes our attention span and for sure it takes dopamine too.
4:39 PM
@chaiman you should follow the path you want to take just maybe approach things from an experimental POV and make sure you aren't unintentionally making things harder for yourself yknow
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant thank you :)
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Just make sure if you get super bored you switch the world back on. I do it at times @chaiman (edited)
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has anyone tried dieting since quitting? I'm pleased that I'm not eating so many snacks so I'm considering intermittent fasting but I don't want to crave a smoke more as a result (edited)
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Turning off your phones, getting a good night's sleep, taking care of yourself, they're all important. But we get multiple people a day on leaves falling down the rabbit hole of parsing everything they do in the context of personally managing their dopamine levels and CB2 receptors. They approach it with a suspiciously similar detail to how they were manipulating their chemistry with the drug, so I always counsel caution on the thinking. The actions are usually positive.
@Moderator -- Subduction hmm. Insightful. We really have to be kind to ourselves.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:42 PM
@chaiman but i would also say right now your main focus should be quitting weed. your mind is going to be all over the place in the coming days so don't bite off more than you can chew. have some things you enjoy to fall back on
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@chaiman wouldnt call it dieting, but have actually been eating
4:43 PM
so thats a... plus
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:44 PM
unintentionally dieting because i can't stomach all the junk food and soda i was drinking
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find myself tearing through food at an insane rate, just to keep up with being active, not sitting in the same spot for days
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Just make sure if you get super bored you switch the world back on. I do it at times @chaiman
@M1NDFEEDER means?
4:46 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant yeah I agree
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though, in general, cant eat empty calories or straight sugar... tried injecting syrup into a smoothie, and was in bed less than halfway through, until my blood sugar normalised 😖
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I do them regularly to reflect and get shit done. Sometimes they are counter productive and make me feel worse. So I say "not helping" and re enter the world. It's all about knowing yourself, your limits and what works for you. Everyone comes into this with the same aim (quitting weed) but there isn't one way out of it. There are many routes. Mine is clearly working for me but wouldn't for others @chaiman (edited)
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thought it might be different, since sober, but body was like "Noop"
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@M1NDFEEDER hmm I'm like an occasional smoker. And I can live without weed. Pretty sure about that. But I can't live without my friend circle. That's the trap.
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So your friends smoke?
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I gotta go but I'll try and check back tonight - hope everyone has a good day!
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@M1NDFEEDER yes
4:51 PM
Guess I'm going to call it a day. Later guys.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:51 PM
@chaiman later man, join us later or tomorrow
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:51 PM
Good to see you @chaiman , hope to see you back soon.
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I think I'll go and stroke me metaphorical sheep too. 🐑 baa bye all 💛
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bye @chaiman Stay strong!
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:54 PM
Cya soon @M1NDFEEDER 🙂
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peace @M1NDFEEDER ! look forward to seeing you soon!
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! Great to see you all, and I hope to see each of you back!
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see you guys tomorrow 🙂
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cya guys
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great work on day 8 blizz!
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thx ghastles
4:59 PM
see you at 5?
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:59 PM
later everyone
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of course!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 4:59 PM
ill be on. i practically live on my computer
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thannks again for the chip idea @Darknet Shrimp Merchant
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 5:02 PM
👉 Alright all, I'm closing the doors. I'm going to go see if they allow sheep in my apartment building. See you at 5pm!
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Closing...
5:03 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:03 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
Avatar
Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'll kick this off. I'm very happy to say we have a bunch of new people today, we're up to almost 300 members now! If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Definitely introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This goes fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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Hi
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Hey y'all! I'm on day 2 and I'm doing a-okay!
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Day 2 and my cravings are very strong
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @AlbinoRhino Welcome!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:01 PM
@AlbinoRhino it'll get a lot better soon, gotta ride it out for now
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It’s very tempting because of quarantine making life relatively boring
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I’ve stopped smoking for the first time. In half an hour it will be my first 24 hours :’)
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Hell yeah!
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I went on a 4 mile walk yesterday and it was super meditative and helpful
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:02 PM
Welcome @georgeka !
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I try to go for a run every day. It gives me my dopamine release that I’m missing.
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Thank you 😇 I’ve tried long walks as well, can be very meditative. There’s applications and youtube videos guiding you through mindful walking
10:03 PM
Just to remain aware of everything around you
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Hello all!
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good afternoon
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Has anyone found that they’re craving fast food more? It’s my first sober night and I’m dying for a pizza!
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We all just have to take it one day at a time. I think everyone here can commit to not smoking just today
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10:05 PM
My appetite has been very low @georgeka but pizza sounds BOMB
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@georgeka Yes, I've done that.
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:06 PM
Yes @georgeka I'm on year 21 of being quit and I crave pizza all the time. Sigh.
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thats pretty awesome @AlbinoRhino my first few days were 0 appetite. I would have killed to been craving pizza day 1!
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If you’re in the Phoenix, AZ area Spinato’s Pizzeria is fantastic
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@Moderator -- Subduction if it’s been 21 years maybe it’s not the weed maybe you just really love pizza 🤣🤣
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@Ghastles I haven’t eaten anything today so maybe that’s just my stomach yelling at me lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:07 PM
<Subduction spawns channel #eaves_pizza_recommendations>
10:08 PM
You will never make me believe that @georgeka
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I love frozen pizzas but not delivery pizza
10:09 PM
but I love fried chicken from the store and hate frozen chicken sticks!
10:09 PM
how odd is that
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Who else struggling with cravings rn and find everything they normally do high to be extremely repulsive
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definitely fps
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@JPNC2001 That is me
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what are some things you can't bring yourself to do rn?
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Video games
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Gaming is hard
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YouTube
10:09 PM
Netflix
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:09 PM
@JPNC2001 how far in are you?
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Gaming is hard sober :topkek
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2 days only lol
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I always end up pausing the game and cleaning something
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Good to hear other folks r struggling too heh 😅
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I constantly want to just be throwing things out and cleaning while I'm gaming
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:10 PM
give it time. around 7 days i started to enjoy things again but your timeline may differ
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Yeh hopefully within the next week
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can confirm the first week is the absolute WORST but it gets better after that
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Hey guys, hows it going
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:12 PM
hello
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That’s a relief
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@JPNC2001 maybe if you pick up a new game? You could be used to playing your current games stoned, which is why playing them sober is a struggle
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That may be it since I associate with weed sm thanks 4 the tip
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@Mörxl Happy Mother's Day!
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to u too XD
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very valid point @georgeka , theres a lot of shows, games, music, that i cant really tolerate anymore, because I had associated then with smoking
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Why is this?? It rly sucks
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well, when you do two things together, doesnt even have to be drug related
10:16 PM
you start to associate them as one
10:17 PM
so doing one without the other feels... hollow
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For me it was defo the witcher 3 game
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:18 PM
i hated video games for a week, now i can play again though only in moderation which is a good thing
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leaving_again 10/05/2020 10:21 PM
Thank you for being here guys. Day 1 again. Having a really hard time digging out of my relapse that started mid March. Before that I was doing well and just shy of 6 months.
🧡 6
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I don't like certain music that I used too now that I quit
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Now you know you can do it @leaving_again
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welcome @leaving_again <hugs>
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happilyabbily 10/05/2020 10:22 PM
Hiya, folks! 👋🏼
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leaving_again 10/05/2020 10:22 PM
It was too easy for me to use the virus as an excuse. I need those fresh mornings back
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happilyabbily 10/05/2020 10:25 PM
@leaving_again I hear you. I was clean for about a month before my state’s stay at home order. It was a great excuse to start smoking again.
10:26 PM
I stopped again 11 days ago
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The virus really is not helpful in this struggle. All the more reason to quit. Most people are going to come out of quarantine as fat addicts. We will come out clean and looking good.
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I’m on day 1 too @leaving_again 🙂 the lockdown was not helping!
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I think It's funny that in some places pot stores are "essential"
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maxatrillion. 10/05/2020 10:28 PM
Oklahoma made sure to make dispensaries essential, and April had record sales for the state
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like here @Albert C.
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It’s the bread and circuses for the masses
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maxatrillion. 10/05/2020 10:28 PM
Up until mid April I part of it but I’m happy to say I’m 15 days quit
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but the gym isn't, or the park, or lots of other things i'd rather have.
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Parks are shut where you are?
10:29 PM
That’s a bit harsh
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:29 PM
<Subduction's finger moves slowly towards the no politics button...>
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Right.
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parks just reopened here, and are FULL of people. theres anti smoking laws in public places, but it doesnt count for provincial or national parks
10:31 PM
so like every 5 mins, you run into someone smoking pot 🥴
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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sup guys
👋 2
10:33 PM
walked into the house and immediately smelt weed, my roommate smoking in the basement lol
10:33 PM
im glad im at day 8 or id be fucked
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:33 PM
Howdy. Day 6. Full of cravings but aware I’m beginning to shake off my crust, and that feels nice.
🙂 1
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I think a LOT of people saw the problems of relapse the moment that quarantine hit us. I remember noticing that VICE news was featuring an interviewee whose job title was simply "Alcoholic" talking about the temptations to slide back into old habits
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:34 PM
Sorry. Day 7. 😀
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@Blizz hey man, damn that sucks, but great job in not joining!
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Alcohol is a terrible vice to pick up during this time. Endless calories and a worse daze than weed.
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leaving_again 10/05/2020 10:36 PM
Yeah, drinking ramped up first for me
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thanks @Ghastles , i lit a candle to make sure the smell doesnt reach my room but im far enough now that the urges are small enough to easily ignore
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leaving_again 10/05/2020 10:36 PM
Gonna stay strong though. I know I am a much happier person without the weed
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:37 PM
I had to quit alcohol. I don't think I'm an alcoholic (but am I sure?), but whenever I drink all I want to do is smoke, and I didn't have the impulse control to stop myself. So that had to go too.
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@Moderator -- Subduction I get that completely
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@Blizz really? I think if I smelled it now I would crave it. But I’m only on day 1.
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Hello everybody
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I didn't think we could talk about it, but I just quit drinking recently.
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When I drink all I want to do is smoke weed and nicotone. It is not helpful lol
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welcome @DL23
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:38 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction That’s how a lot of people end up in AA, but because of coke, crack, meth, junk.
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it gets easier @georgeka , i def would have gone downstairs immediately if i was in my first few days
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Passed two or three groups of people smoking in the park and wasn’t even triggered by the smell woohoo
10:38 PM
@Blizz is my day buddy
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day 8 squad
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Cuties
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:39 PM
@Albert C. We don't talk about drinking except as it relates to our smoking. Which is often quite a bit. 🙂 For anyone having problems r/stopdrinking is a great sub.
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Picking up new hobbies and things to do has helped me. New activities that aren’t associated with smoking and weed
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Did all the Americans wish their mothers happy Mother’s Day
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:40 PM
👍
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‘Twas nice to not have to worry about ~sounding high~ on the phone
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maxatrillion. 10/05/2020 10:41 PM
I spoke with my mom on the phone yesterday for longer than I can ever remember
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mynameisjeff4273 10/05/2020 10:41 PM
I am on day 8 as well. Happy Mother’s Day! QQ from this squad - Any tips for quarantining with two roommates who smoke everyday?
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not exactly but my mother had birthday this week. My brother and I finally got along and spoke about all the stuff that happened and could finally see my nephew for the first time. All while being sober, it felt so awesome
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Howdy all
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I am on day 8 as well. Happy Mother’s Day! QQ from this squad - Any tips for quarantining with two roommates who smoke everyday?
@mynameisjeff4273 Talk to them about the option to not smoke inside. You can find a way I think if they respect your descision
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:42 PM
My Mom died a few years ago, but talked to my 95 year old Dad and his new 78-year-old girlfriend. 🙂
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My Mom died a few years ago, but talked to my 95 year old Dad and his new 78-year-old girlfriend. 🙂
@Moderator -- Subduction that is adorable
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btw how long is this chatroom open for tonight?
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:43 PM
What's your situation @mynameisjeff4273 ? Do they smoke around you?
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Hi guys. Day 2, again
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my mum passed in august have 0 interest in spending time with my dads new GF
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mynameisjeff4273 10/05/2020 10:44 PM
@DL23 great advice, thank you!
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this year atleast
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@DL23 great advice, thank you!
@mynameisjeff4273 youre welcome but please keep in mind that you cant force them to leave the house to smoke. But my general experience is that if they are respecting it they are willing to find a way with you
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but spent some time with dad, before he went over there, so that was nice
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:45 PM
@DL23 We'll be open for another 15 minutes today, and then open again at 11am tomorrow US Eastern Time for another hour. 11am and 5pm ET every day for now.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:46 PM
@DL23 feel free to shoot me a message after hours if you need some support
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so 5pm est and 11pm est for european peeps, gotcha!
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@DL23 who's name is on the lease?
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thanks for the offering
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@mynameisjeff4273 best you can do is try to avoid the smell, get a good candle or open your windows so the smell doesn't linger
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@DL23 who's name is on the lease?
@Ghastles what do you mean?
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so, not yours :p
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FleetCaptainBreq 10/05/2020 10:46 PM
I'm interjecting myself here to say hello. Hello!
👋 5
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mynameisjeff4273 10/05/2020 10:46 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I live with three buddies in nyc. 2 smoke multiple times daily, 1 smokes once weekly. I used to smoke daily and have been trying to quit for the past month (on day 8 now).
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:46 PM
@DL23 Kinda! We;ve only been doing this for a fw weeks, so we're still figuring it out. 🙂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 10/05/2020 10:46 PM
@FleetCaptainBreq hello
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I agree with alpha though that you should ask if they'll respect you trying to quit and smoke outside
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:47 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction Lol. Your Dad’s a cradle robber!
😆 2
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worse can happen is they say no right?
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Has anyone tried the Grounded app? Is it any good?
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FleetCaptainBreq 10/05/2020 10:47 PM
@Darknet Shrimp Merchant hey
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@DL23 Kinda! We;ve only been doing this for a fw weeks, so we're still figuring it out. 🙂
@Moderator -- Subduction its a great opportunity for people like me who are not really in the position to find a group in my general area
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@georgeka i used grounded: quit cannabis every day, looking at the timer go up and the money saved has saved me from my urges more than once
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@Moderator -- Subduction its a great opportunity for people like me who are not really in the position to find a group in my general area
@DL23 i agree completely, something like this is a great place for people who can’t find support locally
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i wouldnt suggest the paid version though, nothing special
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:48 PM
Is there an MA zoom meeting coming up?
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@Blizz thank you 🙂
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Grounded is great. It’s nice to do the “check-in” when I’m craving
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:49 PM
@DL23 Yup, I'm working on setting a system so people can volunteer to be moderators. The more moderators we have the more sessions we can have. For now it's just me, and my wife says she'd like to see me for more than 15 minutes a day for some reason.
👏 1
10:50 PM
Between chat and regular leaves it's more than a full time job now.
10:50 PM
🙂
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@DL23 Yup, I'm working on setting a system so people can volunteer to be moderators. The more moderators we have the more sessions we can have. For now it's just me, and my wife says she'd like to see me for more than 15 minutes a day for some reason.
@Moderator -- Subduction people and their needs, absolutely not understandable 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:50 PM
Yeah. People.
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youre doing the subreddit and the chats fulltime? thats absolutely great!
10:50 PM
not so great for your general life but I admire your support for the community
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:50 PM
I am. More to come on the horizon for Leaves. Stay tuned.
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FleetCaptainBreq 10/05/2020 10:51 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction if I recall correctly you founded r/leaves? Regardless, way to be an excellent human.
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excited
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:51 PM
@FleetCaptainBreq I did! Thanks!
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Could anyone here have a significant other who uses, even though you are quit?
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@DL23 , if you are the primary renter, (which it unfortunately seems like you arent 😥 ) you can 100% TELL your roomates to smoke outside.
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:52 PM
@Albert C. We see that a lot on Leaves
👍 1
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I have to say the subreddit helped me hang on through my time being sober now, from just appearing in my reddit feed.
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:53 PM
Having a partner, or room mates ( @DL23 ) is definitely doing it on hard mode.
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@DL23 , if you are the primary renter, (which it unfortunately seems like you arent 😥 ) you can 100% TELL your roomates to smoke outside.
@Ghastles thats absolutely true and btw I am not the flatmate with the smokes, my parents dont do drugs :D But for the sake of living together you should try to settle this with a good talk
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Leaves is my favourite place on reddit although I'm now hiding from my army of downvoters 😳
🤣 2
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you always can enforce this but to be honest this wont bring you anywhere near a relaxed environment
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:54 PM
The approach I've seen work best is to see if you can get them to understand why you're quitting, that it's for you and you alone, and it's important to you, so you'd like to work something out.
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does anyone else here ever feel guilt about the people who started smoking because they used it with you? like they aren't as bad as i was with it but I have a couple friends who only started smoking consistently after hanging out with me and i feel bad whenever i think about it
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Leaves is my favourite place on reddit although I'm now hiding from my army of downvoters 😳
@M1NDFEEDER Jesus spoke the truth but the people didnt like it
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maxatrillion. 10/05/2020 10:55 PM
@sometown#1976 I see there is a ma zoom meeting tomorrow. I can’t pull up the time it starts, but there is an access code on the website (edited)
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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does anyone else here ever feel guilt about the people who started smoking because they used it with you? like they aren't as bad as i was with it but I have a couple friends who only started smoking consistently after hanging out with me and i feel bad whenever i think about it
@Blizz I kinda regret forcing it while around my peeps who were not regular smokers but I also respected if they did not want to smoke with me
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@Blizz I am the person who started because a friend of mine was a heavy stoner. My opinion is you have nothing to feel guilty for. I made my decisions to start and stop smoking. Don’t take that burden onto your shoulders.
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sometown#1976 10/05/2020 10:56 PM
@Blizz Nah. If you’re worried about it, tell them you regret turning them onto it, tell them if there’s anything you can do, let you know. They probably don’t care.
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thanks guys, i never peer pressured anyone who didnt want to partake but yeah maybe i am burdening myself assuming things
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FleetCaptainBreq 10/05/2020 10:58 PM
@Blizz plus if it wasn't you, it's almost inevitable they would have been introduced to it at some point
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trust me we, or at least I, had the same thoughts for a long time. In the end I learned that everybody is responsible for their own self, so its their body their descision
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 10:59 PM
Old you/new you. Don't let the old one hold you back.
10:59 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So many new friends today, it's exciting, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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good day everyone, until tomorrow! Stay strong, stay sober!
🙂 4
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Wish you all a wonderful night!
😀 2
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cya everyone, day 1s and 2s, i wanna see your day 2s and 3 check ins tomorrow!
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btw just a dumb question what time is it in america rn?
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see you tomorrow guys 🙂
11:00 PM
well
11:00 PM
it depends WHERE in america
11:00 PM
:p
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6 pm EST, 5 pm CST, 4 pm west coast
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It's 3PM in California
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3 pm west coast*
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okay, then maybe have a good day and later a wonderful night then 😄
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 11:01 PM
6pm in Leaves Chat Time
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maxatrillion. 10/05/2020 11:01 PM
1 in Hawaii
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Moderator -- Subduction 10/05/2020 11:01 PM
👉 Okay all, closing the doors, I'm going to go order pizza. Don't look at me like that, IT'S FROM MY WITHDRAWALS. See you tomorrow!
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lol 12pm here. my alarm goes off in 5 hours <ouch>
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Closing...
11:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @here Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
4:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
4:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'll kick this off. I'm very happy to say we have a bunch of new people today, we're well over 300 members now! If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Definitely introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you...
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:02 PM
Hey guys! So you can just call me rad and i was doing great not smoking for like 8 months but then at my graduation party i smoked a bowl and it was awesome till my guilt and anxiety kicked in because im supposed to be finding a job and every opening will require a test so i just feel really disappointed in myself
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:02 PM
Welcome rad!
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Hey guys, today is my day 1 of being sober. I'm really lucky to be in the environment I'm in (passive income/starting school today). Today is a good day to move on from this addiction.
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:03 PM
Hello @chadvice !
4:03 PM
How long have you been smoking again @fxrt_knocker_42069 ?
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:03 PM
before i quit like 3+ times a day
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:04 PM
@fxrt_knocker_42069 So you're quit now?
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As crappy as quarantine is for resisting smoking, I think it’s the best time to quit. You get to deal with all of your withdraw symptoms at home instead of at work or school
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:04 PM
and i had quit for actually 5 months 😦
4:04 PM
yeah
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good morning everyone
👋 2
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:04 PM
until this past weekend
4:04 PM
good morning!
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suppers
👋 1
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how many days now @Nordnic ?
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day 9? @Blizz ?
4:05 PM
nice man!
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@AlbinoRhino Yeah, it has been tough because I've been able to use flower as a form to eject form any situation of being comfortable. And it turned into feeling like I need to smoke before any activity I do.
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Im eating more, was tripping about all the weight i lost recently.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:05 PM
@ladchee what do you do instead of smoking? I switched the amount of money i was spending on weed for computer parts and learned how to put everything together
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great!
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@ladchee yep I totally agree. I couldn’t leave the house or do anything without a quick smoke
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i was pretty worried about weightloss too, but that thankfully balanced itself out.
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Hey y’all. Happy to be here 🙂 ...it’s my Day 1...kinda lame to type out bc I was at Day 45 last month but I slipped up due to COVID stress. But yeah, my lungs physically can’t even take it anymore
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What’s up everyone. Found this thread and decided to join. Want to work towards riding myself of cannabis and focus all my attention on my dream of playing professional golf...everyone have a good day!
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@ladchee at least we aren’t leaving anymore lol
😆 1
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I lift and run so it makes me a sad boy when i lose my weight
4:07 PM
didnt seem to mess with performance but i lost 10 lbs
4:07 PM
in 2 weeks
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:07 PM
Hi @diosa , @zac !
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@fxrt_knocker_42069 honestly i've spent a lot of time consuming content online (youtube, reddit) when im smoking or not. basically anything with a quick dopamine rush. so I'm trying to do more productive or creative things when I get those urges like study or read a book.
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just couldnt pack the calories in like when i got stoned
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Hey guys,am on day 4.I have been a daily user for the last 4yrs.Turned 30 this year.Weed got me thru some rough times but now its holding me back.Ive tried quiting multiple time over the last year .Hopefully this is my year to get my life back.
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If you’re feeling pretty down and depressed exercise is great to go get a dopamine release. Running is my personal favorite. And it helps burn fat so the thc doesn’t stay in your system as long
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I turned 30 this year too! @AnthonyK you got this
👍 1
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ya get a second high on them runs 😉
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:08 PM
Hey @AnthonyK , welcome.
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@AnthonyK you got this man! It is the time of the year for self improvement!
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:09 PM
yeah the silver lining to smoking again is that now i have to work out for the next few weeks so that I can pass a test
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Thanks guys.
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if i was ever to use the THC again id eat it. Smoke isnt good for humans.
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@AlbinoRhino yeah, luckily i've been following the kettlebell workout program online for the past two weeks. def a good way to exercise without a gym.
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even tea and coffee that is to hot can cause damage to our meat bags.
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woke up from some tough nightmares today. Glad it was at 6am, and the dispenseraries were closed, or would have gone straight to the closest. as it was, forced myself to update log, have a good talk with my father, then direct some excess energy / emotion into killing poor logs. (edited)
4:12 PM
feel 200% better now
4:12 PM
really grateful that /leaves exists, that you guys exist / are here
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:13 PM
its my first day here but its nice to see a community of people who wont be like W3eD iSnT aDdIcTiV3 Br0
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♿ 1
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ugh that weed isnt addictive crap is super invalidating (edited)
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Hey guys, just checking in. Officially one week sober now. Rode up to my parents place in the morning and spent some quality time with my little sister. Had a pretty healthy day for the first time in a while. Hope y'all doing fine!
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Hi @Mörxl
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thanks for sharing @Mörxl
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thats great @Mörxl !
4:14 PM
cant wait to here you say 2 weeks in a week!
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:14 PM
@Ghastles it really is! Like it isnt like other drugs but its still got a nagging appeal
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I can’t wait until I hit a week😅 then beat my “record”
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:15 PM
Congratulations on a week @Mörxl , that's awesome.
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@diosa thats the spirit!
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Thanks. Really appreciate the support here!
4:15 PM
@diosa you can do it!!
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@diosa you can do it.
💯 2
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Lots of shit is addictive, we all just abuse weed. Could be porn, sex, vid games, mc dubs.
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Good morning all! If I can do a week so can you @diosa 🥳
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:16 PM
keep it up @Mörxl
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im just going to back away from the "what type of" addictive it is conversation
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Any advice for morning routines to avoid the wake and bake?
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:18 PM
wake and go for a walk (especially if you have a dog)
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wake and murder logs with an axe
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:18 PM
maybe do some push ups @ladchee and just get moving and you will forget you want to
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@ladchee been doing push-ups in the morning the last few days. Helps me activate my body and my brain
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full 7 minute workout!
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:19 PM
how do yall manage your relationships with friends or SO's who still like to smoke?
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I ended them
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:19 PM
my gf wanted me to pick up for her and thats why i slipped up 😦
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screw that. :(
4:20 PM
i undrrstand why people remain in relationships with those who still smoke, but its important they respect your desire to quit
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I moved to a new city recently so I actually have no friends where I’m at lol...but I get nervous about going back home. I don’t think I could date someone who smoked heavily at this point
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i think being transparent about your boundaries and what affects you.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:21 PM
@Ghastles dont get me wrong she is super supportive and wants me to stop i just asked her if she minded if i smoked too and she was like "you sure" three times so it was more my fault than hers 100%
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sure man, I totally understand, and respect that. But, if it goes from "mind if i smoke" to... "go score for me" (edited)
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i realized some friends will be supportive and some will enable. probably best just to learn from that situation and try not to put yourself there agian. (edited)
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:23 PM
true, she just doesnt have any connections so i should just stop being a middleman for her
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Seems like a test of your own desire not to use. I still grow and will be harvesting next week. I still have a jar next to me.
4:24 PM
Weed will become easier to get for all of us. At the end of the day its how you want to live your life.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:25 PM
yeah its difficult @Nordnic because my favorite vice is just being lazy and not doing anything productive on the computer
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@fxrt_knocker_42069 same
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Ive been there.
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:25 PM
When we look at our previous use, was getting it ever really the problem?
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I think when I went down the road of changing myself through exercise it enhanced the ability to make myself do things I don't want to do but do anyway. (edited)
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delayed gratification
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yes @Nordnic !!!
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To me running was the key that unlocked that door. Its our gift from nature, we are the only monkeys that do it and do it well.
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a couple days ago, i was feeling lazy and didnt want to go chop, but was able to force myself off my ass and do it. In the past, before starting to exercise let alone quitting weed, would have NEVER been able to do that
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👉 @here This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing...
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theres a huge psychological benefit to physical activity i had no idea existed... like a whole world of opportunity (edited)
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Hi all hope you are hangin in there
👋 4
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Yes lurkers, please take up space
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everyone sucks at first and you wouldnt have seen me in public running the first few miles but now im slaying 5 miles 2 times a week.
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@Katelyn good day! how far are you into your quit?
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:30 PM
being physical is amazing, it really makes you feel like you can do anything
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I accidental lurk all the time and forget this meeting happens in the AM. Always a pleasant surprise.
4:31 PM
I am 2 weeks and 3 days in
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body, mind, spirit.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:31 PM
welcome @Katelyn !
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glad we r talking about exercise becauset hat become a bigger part of my life
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wonderful😌
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not losing weight which is sad but it still has had so many mental health benefits
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love your avatar @diosa
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:32 PM
ive been stuck inside because of this whole rona thing and im finishing up my last semester at university so im stuck inside a lot and dont feel like i have the time for exercise like i used to
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thank you log chopper
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:32 PM
i need some logs to chop lol
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Dunno where to find logs or an axe even
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The axe store
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start with 30 - 60s @fxrt_knocker_42069 at a park or cemetery
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sorry... ill likely not shut up about it until i run out, and am forced to find another activity (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:33 PM
I love chopping logs every day as a metaphor for recovery.
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Is @Ghastles chopping literal tree logs to pass time?
4:34 PM
20 a day
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I wish I had the property to justify that
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:34 PM
@Nordnic 30 - 60s of what? I used to be really active at my universities gym running, pullups, push ups, and an hour bike ride but now my rythem is all fucked
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30 seconds of sprints followed by 60 seconds of walking. Cycle this 10 times (apps to help time you)
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builds your endurance
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When I was younger we had a huge tree fall over in our back yard, way down a pretty decent sized slope and some woods. My dad hired someone to come and chop it up into logs, and then he paid me 25 cents a log to move them from the bottom of the hill, to the driveway, and then chop them lol
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:35 PM
im going to start tomorrow as today is my final final and i will finally not have an excuse to not get moving
4:35 PM
thanks @Nordnic im going to try that!
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then you earned a day off, the next thing you do is run your first mile. she will be a slut, go somewhere you wont find other people to make it less gay.
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zombies! run! 5k does a lot of that 30/60 stuff at the start @Nordnic @fxrt_knocker_42069 (edited)
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@Nordnic lmfao
4:36 PM
I hate running
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you get another day off then your last exercise is sprints 10 of them
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:36 PM
what is zombies run @Ghastles ?
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you gotta build up
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im sorry but
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you were made to run
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why would i want to be less gay
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thats why we let water out to cool our skin
4:37 PM
it sucks when your a noob and you cant run
4:37 PM
make people not want to do it
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why would i want to be less gay
@Ghastles 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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train like batman in private before you go out and fight the joker
4:37 PM
thats how i got into exercise and eventually lifting.
4:37 PM
its just a pattern you grow in your mind
4:38 PM
you then can use that mind set to accomplish a lot of shit
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@fxrt_knocker_42069 its an android / iphone running "game"
🤟 1
4:39 PM
you run away from zombies, collect supplies, build a base
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make your own game, can i post a short video here?
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:39 PM
dude that sounds cool af!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:39 PM
Sorry, no videos. 🙂
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pretend your lady is trapped, or you gotta assault a beach.
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just a bit of a motivator to make it funner
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I sometimes think of the spartans from halo and blast the halo 2 theme song
4:40 PM
youll get that gas
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:40 PM
<Subduction's finger moves slowly to the -on topic- button>
😅 1
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Remember Reach!
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same with habitica, but thats for building habits
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:40 PM
i might even try that tonight @Ghastles thank you for the suggestion!
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hi everyone, hope we're all doing well
👋 2
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heeyy
👋 2
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Hey y’all 👋🏼
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heya @dinnyhoon @michelle ! how far are y'all today?
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sober for almost a month!
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day 12 here!
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i feel a lot less anxious, more focused, less paranoid
🥳 3
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amazingggg congrats 😸
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tyvm!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:42 PM
Nice @michelle !
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great @dinnyhoon !
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:42 PM
12 days is great @dinnyhoon
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thanks guys, this group has helped me keep focused
💛 1
4:43 PM
feels good to come in and report progress
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yeah, it also feels great to be at a point where i know smoking pot would not make me feel better. i'm better off without it, and i just know it now.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:44 PM
that is an important realization
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What’s been helping you succeed @michelle
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i've been reading books, cleaning my space a lot, and well --- honestly drinking alcohol way more than usual (which is another issue) --- but yeah, also calling friends. basically staying busy
4:45 PM
and reading the leaves reddit thread
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Honestly I think drinking more may be a quarantine thing too...I feel that
4:46 PM
well way to go😼
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Anyone else have stomache issues when quiting and what helped the most?
4:47 PM
so many stomach issues
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:47 PM
stomach issues were a thing actually
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smoothies !!
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:47 PM
i would say fruit and fruit smoothies
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smoothies, gingerroot chews, arrowroot crackers, and ensure saved me
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and toast
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@fxrt_knocker_42069 thank God. I thought it was more of a personal thing.
😆 1
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my stomach definitely feels more reactive to unhealthy food since quitting - if I eat takeout I can physically feel it in my stomach when I go to bed, and I wake up with a sort of hangover
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:49 PM
thats a good pint @michelle I have for sure been drinking more... has anyone else started noticing that they were too? i think its partly to lean off wanting to smoke and being inside all the time now
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ugg yes @dinnyhoon
4:49 PM
the "crap food" hangover
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drinking helps to break up the time
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:49 PM
ugh the shitting bricks hangover -_-
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sometimes its so bad for me i start dry heaving because i get hunger pains but cant put any solid foods into my stomach
4:49 PM
ill try the smoothie route with probiotics
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@ladchee been there.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:50 PM
@ladchee try some yogurt too maybe that would help
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@fxrt_knocker_42069 I found that my cravings early on weren't specifically for weed, but basically any mind-altering substance, and I had to catch myself before pouring another glass of wine
👍 2
4:50 PM
now I just don't buy wine, so there's nothing for me to turn to at all (I do NOT want to replace weed with alcohol)
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:51 PM
Also, even a little alcohol significantly lowered my resolve not to smoke.
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:51 PM
@dinnyhoon its great you realized that!
4:51 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction i have noticed the same, but with generally larger amounts of alcohol
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Also, even a little alcohol significantly lowered my resolve not to smoke.
@Moderator -- Subduction this makes a lot of sense...scary 😦
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oh hey i didn't realize this was opemn
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@Moderator -- Subduction absolutely, for me drinking and smoking go hand in hand (I'm a college student so my pre-lockdown drinking was mostly at house parties, where weed was of course welcome and encouraged)
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@volecowboy every day at 11:00 and 17:00 est!
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thanks
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:53 PM
Hi @volecowboy , welcome! We'll be open for another eight minutes, and then again at 5pm US Eastern Time for another hour. How are you doing today?
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quarantine has me fighting for day 1 every day oof
4:53 PM
I'm getting sick of it
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You keep weed on hand?
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:54 PM
im sorry to hear that @volecowboy the first day is always the hardest
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my dad, who i live with, smokes
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:54 PM
and after that, the first week is the hardest
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and i kinda steal from him if i don't have any
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:54 PM
big oof
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my mom is in the same boat. Tell him you are trying to stop, it's what helped with mine.
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yeah he is actually very supportive
4:55 PM
thankfully
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my partner smokes medicinally and she was the first person I told about quitting - she now keeps all her gear away from me and she's hidden all my grinders etc
♥️ 2
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that's very sweet
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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thing is is that weed doesn't even feel good anymore, and if anything it just blows bc i have bad asthma and can hardly enjoy smoking
💛 1
4:56 PM
big oof is right
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dude same! my lungs are all kinds of messed up
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lmaooo isn't it great?
4:56 PM
i'm not sure my pcp would approve of my albuterol usage
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Gonna take off until the evening, great to see everyone, and hope to hear great things from you all later!
🙂 1
👋 1
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have a nice day
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keeping your lungs healthy is super important (especially these days) and it's a great reason to quit
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agreed
4:57 PM
❤️
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<smokebombs and vanishes>
😆 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! So many new people today, I'm happy to see you all. I hope to see each of you back!
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fxrt_knocker_42069 11/05/2020 4:58 PM
good luck today yall! i look forward to speaking with you again
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okay talk later
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thanks again for your efforts @Moderator -- Subduction, I really value this place
🧡 2
❤️ 1
4:59 PM
have a good day everyone!
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Thanks @Moderator -- Subduction
👋 1
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Remember to use natures gift to the monkeys that learned to walk upright and run! Im out too, take it easy all!
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aristotle would dig that
5:00 PM
peace
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 5:01 PM
👉 Okay everyone, I'm going to close the doors so I can "go running," which is my expression for "make a cheese omelet." See you all later!
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Closing...
5:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:01 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Opening...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
10:00 PM
WELCOME! Welcome to Leaves Lounge everybody! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit! First, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ This is a place for people who have made the decision to quit using cannabis for good. If you haven't made that decision yet you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ If you are high right now that's okay, but please just listen and don't participate. 3️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 4️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 5️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. 👉 Now please introduce yourself, tell us a little about where you are and how you're feeling, welcome newcomers, and don't be shy!
10:00 PM
@here Hello everyone! Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'll kick this off. I'm very happy to see we have a bunch of new people, so if you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go...
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Hey everybody!
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day 9 squad lets go, getting ready for my move into a new condo after finding out i got approved and im not sure i would have if i hadn't gone sober!
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howdy all
10:01 PM
good job blizz
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thanks, how you doin today @sneef and @Default
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Things are good, I'm on day 3 and I had a really rough morning, but I went for a long walk and that really helped
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Hi y'all👋🏼 so glad the workday is over 😖
🙂 2
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congrats @sneef , its not an exaggeration when people say the first week is the hardest, just make it to day 7 and i promise you things get much easier
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Hello, nearly 3 years quit. Feeling good, my only real urges are when I reminisce over memories from the old days. And when I get lonely, all my friends smoke still.
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3 years, super saiyan level willpower @Albert C.
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@Blizz haha thanks, but not quite. Seriously smoking isn't and option for me. Because laws and public perceptions, ect.
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Still on day 1 for me. Was able to workout for an hour and do some prep-work. Feeling anxious and somewhat foggy still.
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hi everyone, hope we're all good
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In that boat with you @ladchee
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@diosa today has been super productive for me though. Hope the same for you.
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im good. how are you doing today @Blizz
10:10 PM
hey @Moderator -- Subduction have you ever thought of opening a voice channel sometimes?
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Congrats to those on day 1 !
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thanks @Albert C. !!
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Hello fellows! I’m whizzita, I stop smoking in January after 15-16 years being a regular user. I was off for 18 months before but then decided to smoke once and found myself smoking regularly until January. I’m happy with my choice and more conscious about it.
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Thanks...humbling place to be given I was at day 45 last month. But w/e I feel good about it
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too modest @Albert C. , 3 years is still a huge accomplishment even if you cant due to laws and perception, the strength to turn away the temptations is big
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:11 PM
@Default Considering it, but this was a big lift as it is, so taking things one round at a time. Next step will likely be a few structured meetings, one speaker at a time. 🙂
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and im doing good @Default , things finally looking up after a long time of being content with them being down due to the weed
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@whizzita 4 months after 15+ years is an incredible achievement, well done!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:12 PM
Welcome @whizzita !
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02.40 am here and hello!
🙂 1
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thats good @Blizz happy for you
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@Blizz That’s awesome 🙌🏽
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Day 3!
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@Blizz Well thank you! I'll mention that a career in a drug-test heavy industry has done wonders for me.
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@Moderator -- Subduction thats cool. i think it would help some people a lot. would need to be heavily moderated though i think
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10:12 PM
good job @whizzita thats a good stretch of time!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:13 PM
Working on a system for adding mods now.
10:13 PM
That's the big botleneck.
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(not sure how discord works but I can't seem to 'react' to posts anymore - client issue or imposed by admin?)
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thanks @whizzita , congrats on making it through the quarantine temptations, i struggled when it first started
10:14 PM
@dinnyhoon thats everyone, i cant react either
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i ended being a social smoker but on January decided to take a break from my smoking group
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i ended being a social smoker but on January decided to take a break from my smoking group
@whizzita that's cool. That's exactly how I ended up doing it too.
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thats one big shitty thing about quitting when you have a group of friends who smoke all the time. looking back on it, i was having a good time in those groups, but it was just such a huge sad waste of time. @whizzita
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:16 PM
Working on day 2. So far so good. Riding the waves of positive and negative.
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Indeed, it is a hard choice to make but at the end the pros are more than the cons
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Way to go @leaving_again
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:17 PM
Looking forward to a long walk with the dog after work
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On January I helped myself with CBD for a week, I think that made it easier
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I was the last to quit in my social group - we all remember our old stoner sessions fondly but we're 30 now and I was the only one still smoking, I was starting to feel ashamed
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And the funniest part is most of the people in those groups don't check on me after the smoke sessions which happens like once or twice in a week. Used to hang out with a different group earlier. I guess my "groups" gather only to smoke up. Feels really shitty now that I think about it.
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@leaving_again first days feels longer! hang on!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:17 PM
Welcome @leaving_again !
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For some reason it looks weird when you look back...
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:18 PM
I actually love the fact time moves slower. Tired of weeks passing by in blaze
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And I had confessed my weed problem to my family few years ago. It became another big problem. I'll always be a junkie in the eyes of my family. Another rookie mistake trying to play the cards with intuition. But dysfunctional family. That's also there.
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good job @leaving_again first week is going to feel like you are in solitary confinement, as everything is boring and days feel incredibly long, but each day gets better. eventually bit by bit the emotional straight jacket weed has wrapped you in falls off though
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:20 PM
I am mid 40s. Obviously most of my smoking friends had already moved on. But it still somehow makes me feel connected to those times. Damn nostalgia (edited)
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good afternoon everyone
🙂 1
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hey @Ghastles
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I feel that. It gets wrapped up in your identity, even
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@chaiman Thats how my friends were, we would never hangout so we could do stuff together, it was always hangout so that we can smoke.
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Hi wood choppy
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@Albert C. I know that well - if it wasn't for the group chat, my closest friends and I would probably have drifted apart by now. All we ever did was smoke, and we still don't really know what to do together now that we've all quit
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@Albert C. yeah. Do you still keep them in loop or did you move on?
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i dont think its that people hang out just to smoke, i think its that pot becomes such a huge part of some peoples lives that they feel they have that much more in common with potheads. sort of a kinship. sad that common drug habits can bring people together sometimes more than common hobbies and other interests
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(@Moderator -- Subduction are reacts gone for good? 😟 )
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:23 PM
Nope, they should work...You don't see them?
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I try to stay in touch, but we are all pretty far apart now. I distanced myself from them.
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@Moderator -- Subduction I see your reacts but I can't react, maybe it's a technical issue on my end or something
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@Albert C. I guess I value myself really low because I always end up with really fucked up people. There was one group in 2017 whom I regarded as best friends. Then time proved it wrong. Then went on hanging out with another group. It didn't work out also. Now remaining with the last circle of friends. I always had a love hate relationship with weed though.
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@chaiman at the end you gotta feel better by yourself, sometimes we expect our family understanding but it’s hard when we don’t have a good communication 🤷🏻‍♀️ at least you tried to share
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@whizzita yeah thanks a lot for those words. I know right. Really needed it.
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:24 PM
@dinnyhoon I totally messed up the permissions earlier to the point that nearly nothing works, they were likely a casualty. 🙂 I'll look it over tonight...
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@diosa you can just call me the Beaver Leaver
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How long it take to come up with that😂🙄
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i can’t react, i thought it was because im using in my phone instead of the computer lol
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@Moderator -- Subduction haha ok thank you!
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Thanks for all that you do @Moderator -- Subduction
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@chaiman 2 of my best friends smoke and I still love them. Other friends, even though sometimes I was upset with them, I can see that there's a lot of good in those old potheads. (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:26 PM
Thank you @diosa . Lately that has been breaking things, but I'll glue it all back together later. 🙂
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@diosa honestly, just now
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Hi I'm Thuffin if you've ever seen the name anywhere else I'm sure it was me (PSN, XBOX Live, Steam, etc) I "left" 3.5 years ago, been sober from all other substances for 5 years! This is my first time on the lounge and I'm happy to be hear! (edited)
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If there is something I don’t miss: MUNCHIES 🤣
10:28 PM
👋🏽 @LAMB
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Did anyone else wait to eat until they could smoke first? I don't miss that
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:28 PM
Welcome @LAMB -- 5 years is awesome!
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:29 PM
My original big quit was due to the side effects of munchies
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@LAMB Welcome. That's awesome!
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@diosa totally, I used to think it was a waste of a meal to eat sober. I was always looking for any excuse to smoke though
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@diosa yeeep
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:30 PM
High blood pressure, high blood sugar, etc
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I think food tastes better sober
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I used to feel like I had to be stoned to listen to new music, watch new cartoons... basically anything
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excuses are perfect for smoking and eating 🤣
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First couple hours sober...feeling anxious
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@Albert C. it definitely does, after years of inhaling food stoned I can now eat normal portions and enjoy them
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I have been summoned by dogbot. hello fellow quitters
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i used to eat things I dont even like 🤦🏻‍♀️
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Hey @TheHangMan you can do this
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The not eating is brutal when combined with lack of sleep. And its so easy to justify smoking for both of these issues as its a quick easy short term solve
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Sorry to interrupt how does one stop that dog bot pop up?
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@TheHangMan haha hang in there!
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The anxiety is the hardest part.
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@M1NDFEEDER change your notification settings on the server to mute or silent
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Hey gang
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:31 PM
@Joel DogBot's first win! He's new, he'll be thrilled.
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Thanks Joel 💛
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I think it's because dogbot says @ everyone and discord acts like you got personally @'d
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The thing I'm struggling with feels like a knot in my stomach
10:31 PM
But I'm on day 21
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@TheHangMan talk to me, to us, keep yourself busy
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:32 PM
Hi @robboski welcome!
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It's nice to talk to folks. Been pretty isolated since the pandemic started
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@Moderator -- Subduction i passed my 1 month clean mark a few days ago!!!!
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hi @robboski I think I know what you mean, I can physically feel every piece of food I eat now (day 12)
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2 days clean 😬
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:32 PM
Hi @TheHangMan , welcome!
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@diosa I really dig your pic
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crystalcastle 11/05/2020 10:33 PM
well done @Joel im 6 weeks clean myself!
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:33 PM
Welcome @arnavbarbaad !
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:33 PM
Decided to finally quit for the first timw. Day 5 rn, anxiety up and down but man after seeing tar in my phlegm and seeing the positive effects of quitting on my respiratory, really makes it all worth it
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Thanks @robboski me too😝
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I’ve been trying for so long
10:33 PM
Keep failing
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@dinnyhoon i hate it, I feel like it might be anxiety related
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Day 1
10:33 PM
Day 1- craving to go pick up after work
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between @Ghastles and @diosa this chat has some awesome lavender town vibes
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crystalcastle 11/05/2020 10:33 PM
does anyone else feel more mentally stable? like it felt like absolute hell for 5 or so weeks but now its feeling great?
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the first two weeks ish, are shit. then its gets easier, then you forget about it all and being sober becomes easier
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Hehe...w the creepy music in the background
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yay @arnavbarbaad 🙌🏽
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:34 PM
Hello @crystalcastle , @FromtheFarEast 🙂
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@robboski it's making me eat less at least, which I've needed to do for a while
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@ottoHODL I'd buy some chips and salsa instead
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lmao @dinnyhoon
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Thanks! @Moderator -- Subduction
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nice catch
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The longest I’ve quit is 1 month and didn’t notice much
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@ottoHODL dont pick up weed afterwork. thats a no from me dog
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@robboski I do suffer anxiety as well and the knot in my stomach is definitely worse when I'm feeling anxious
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@Joel thank you
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I feel better in general after a few days then i just have to deal with the occasional cravings
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2 days here. Last night I was feeling on top of the world, and tonight after receiving some stressful news all I can think about is smoking even though I know it’s only going to make me more anxious
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:35 PM
A nice long walk can help the stomach knots
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I’m at a pr of 40 days and the cravings reduce over time but i still get them
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I remember ar the beginning making a list of pros of cons, that helped me to stay sober too
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I drove to the supermarket today at like 4pm - I can't remember the last time I was sober enough to just get out and drive in the afternoon
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@dinnyhoon I think maybe I'll get some herbal tea or something, may help
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@robboski yeah I started drinking camomile tea before bed, helps the stomach and also helped me settle down in the early sleepless nights
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@leaving_again thanks for this, I've been going running once a day but currently only allowed out once a day thanks to Covid restrictions
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@dinnyhoon Awesome! Thats a great reason to be sober
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@leaving_again ill try that out next time.
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Getting exercise is a must for me
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plus I started having dreams too when I became sober
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The only natural high god gave us other than sex
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@robboski thats why I bought a stand for my punching bag lol. thats good cardio too
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@ottoHODL why do yo want to quit? also why do you want to buy weed? just dont buy weed. Just dont. Just go home. Dont do it. Remember why you want to quit
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:37 PM
@dinnyhoon not worrying about driving stoned is a huge relief
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@leaving_again yeah but driving stoned was always a great time
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:37 PM
Highly recommend yoga or some cardio, your body makes annabinoids when you do it and helps replace the euphoria and high you might be craving
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hi everyonoe
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@leaving_again driving stoned thankfully wasn't an option for me because my country has roadside swab tests
10:38 PM
and yknow, it's dangerous
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Honestly I want to quit because I know how bad it is for my physical and mental health. But the other part of me simply loves being high. I’m a very chill dude and I barely get anxiety so weed doesn’t affect me that way
10:38 PM
Any tips
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For me it’s not something I could do. I get way too dizzy and slow
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It’s like quitting is one big procrastination
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@ottoHODL if you want to quit, do you definitely love being high? or is it an escape
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weed effects you in more ways than you can visualize or understand, it has a large negative effect that you dont see right away
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@ottoHODL why do you want to quit? Can you put it into words?
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:39 PM
(Hi @SantaClocks , @k|24v!sn1, @ottoHODL ,welcome!)
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How long you been smoking @ottoHODL lol sry to bombard you
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:39 PM
@ottoHODL Try to take things one day at a time, it can be really at times overwhelming to think that you want to quite forever, by compartmentalizing each day it can def help break the cycle
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Thank you all so much for your replies
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:39 PM
Be really hard*
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I am 25, been smoking daily since 20
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this discord is the kindest group of folks out there, who want nothing but to see you do well.
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@ottoHODL i dont know about you but weed fucks so badly with my motivation and i didn’t even realize until i stopped it could be holding you back from your goals without you even realizing
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one thing i did was write out a pros and cons list and score each point in terms of importance, then compare
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Anyone else got a house mate who still smokes?
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I find a pros and cons list useful because there is literally no pros other than “haha brain go brrrr”
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Weed fucks with my sex drive the most. I don’t even care to talk/ go out with girls
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pff same here
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Appreciate all the help guys
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Does/did anyone else feel alienation from society/people?
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And girls!
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Totally relate to that
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:41 PM
@ottoHODL Also out of site out of mind, a lot of science says when it comes to breaking bad habits, it's all about inconvenience. Try putting your weed and glasswhere somewhere else, make it very unconvenient for yourself to smoke
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@robboski my partner still smokes for medicinal reasons
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Especially because i become a chronic masturbator while high
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@FromtheFarEast I threw it all out last night 🙂
10:41 PM
Hahahahaha
10:41 PM
Same man
10:41 PM
3-4x a day
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Deadass
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for maybe 6 years i had the vicious cycle of joint>porn>sugar intake
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yeah, the only thing flower did for me is start projects that i would never finish.
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so dont buy more
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deadwood for sure
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:42 PM
Make a list of reasons to quit. Out all your pipes/etc in the box and tape it shut. Then tape the list to the top of the box
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@k|24v!sn1 that is exactly it!
10:42 PM
Except McDonald’s at the end
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@dinnyhoon that must be hard, do they smoke outside?
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@robboski Mine do. I actually like the smell, they are good about blowing outside too.
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It can really fuck with me when i smell it
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I gave away all my pipes and capes...couldn't keep that shit
10:42 PM
Vapes
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@ottoHODL so in my experience (when i was a 25 year old smoking daily for 5 years) i defo was more in peace with being a stoner
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I live in canada and I’ll always get craving if im walking my dog or something and i smell it
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@Joel tell me about it, took me more than a decade to figure it out
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Which is often
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@SantaClocks same
10:43 PM
Smell fucks me up
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but that's not to say i was at a better or worse place, but i can say that vicious cycle might be a shit thing in general
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@Albert C. I have come to dislike the smell weirdly enough but I guess because I'd never smelt it as it lingers on people's clothes
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one big thing for me was realizing that as long as I was a pothead, I would never reach anywhere near my full potential. its scary thinking we only have one life and im wasting mine stoned watching cartoons
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@robboski yeah she does, she's acutally been super helpful in keeping it away from me (even brushes her teeth after coming back in so I don't smell it) - I'd be lying if I said I don't still enjoy the smell of fresh herb in a grinder though 😦
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Facts @Default
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:43 PM
@chaiman I didn't feel the alienation as much until I had been away from weed for some time. At that point I realized how bad it had been (edited)
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@dinnyhoon that's very considerate of her! You have a keeper there!
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@k|24v!sn1 right?? A part of me likes it - it meshes with my personality (for now) until I want to grow up and have kids, I fear it’ll be too late
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Same! I was gonna say that too @k|24v!sn1 but I didn't wanna assume anyone's situation. I wish I realized when I was 25 how deep id gotten...you don't even realize the negative consequences piling up
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@dinnyhoon that's sweet, i never had a partner who gets high 😛 ( i mean its sweet that there is respect in the relationship_ (edited)
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@leaving_again yeap, the list helped me a lot and i gave away all my paraphernalia 😿 it wasnt easy but it was the best decision
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Yeah I still feel sad about my pax 3 😂 but fuck that shit
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@diosa did you throw everything out? I’m struggling to bring myself to do it because of how much I spent on my current stash
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I just hate how often my brain tries to make up excuses to smoke even at this point
10:44 PM
It’s like an annoying little kid i just have to keep saying no to
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Zach and I are on the same wave here lol
10:45 PM
Wish I could RT his messages
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:45 PM
@georgeka sunk cost
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Hey sub mate
🙂 1
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Lol
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@georgeka it's surely worthless if you don't want to use it anymore, and could cost you in the form of relapse
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:45 PM
@georgeka do you have any friends or family you can trust to keep it for you?
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I always smoked my stash before quitting lol...but I gave away all my pipes n stuff
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Giving up cigs and weed at the same time was crazy hard
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:46 PM
@georgeka what I did was give it to my best friend who I knew wouldn't give it back to me until I finally kicked the habbit
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@robboski I can@imagine
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haahah me too @diosa 😹 it was an investment
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@robboski jesus, did u really pull that off?
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If @robboski pulled that off we need to take notes
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@robboski damn
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@robboski that sounds tough, I was lucky because I never smoked tobacco so didn't have much of a physiological side to my addiction
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another thing that helped me was figuring out how much I would spend on weed in a month, then spending that much money on something else I wanted at the end of the month sober. I would smoke like 10$ a day, so it added up.
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@robboski I quit cigarettes first and helped myself with weed 🤦🏻‍♀️
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@FromtheFarEast I have a friend I could give it to. And the box I have has a code lock on it, so I can just not tell her the code
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I’ve tried the cost $ thing. My dumbass addict brain doesn’t see it as a valid excuse
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also wow I just described my weed smoking as an addiction for possibly the first time ._.
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i never even attempted tobacco cessation, but now id be fine with being a chain smoker, and smoke and drink coffee till those kill me, if i could get off the weed and get that +1 intelligence bump
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@FromtheFarEast Because her sister is a stoner and I’m sure she’d get in there if she could
10:47 PM
also wow I just described my weed smoking as an addiction for possibly the first time ._.
@dinnyhoon I’m still not using the “A” word out of shame
10:47 PM
But I’m sure it applies to me
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That's a big step @dinnyhoon
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@georgeka id get rid of it, when the temptations are their worse, you may go ask for it back esp if you know they haven't used any of it. i did that 2x
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I always knew I was an addict, I'd tell myself all the time, but I've never verbalised (or typed) it
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:48 PM
@georgekaahh makes sense lol. I think that's a really good idea then, it really helped my mind deal with it if I knew that I didn't have any in my place
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I'm trying to find positive addictions like exercise, learning and reading
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:49 PM
It's easy to not think of ourselves as addicts. We have been hearing for years weed is not addictive.
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:49 PM
Putting as many barriers as you can between you and smoking has been very helpful in my experience
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@Blizz @FromtheFarEast thanks for the ideas.. I will consider giving it to my friend. I think I will regret it in the future if I relapse and I could have given it away
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I say get rid of it. But you do you😋
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@georgeka its worth the try
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Anyone here happen to have an addicting personality in general? I personally am and can be very compulsive
10:49 PM
Enter: WEED
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I never found weed as something addictive. Cigarettes. Yes.
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but you don't want to have it when you relapse, it's just gonna make you go back 😦
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i have heard of MA zoom meetings. anyone know anything about them?
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FromtheFarEast 11/05/2020 10:50 PM
@georgeka totally fair, do what you think is best! Rooting for you!
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@georgeka that's a good start, otherwise all your stuff is just sat there waiting for you, tempting you to make a big mistake
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@ottoHODL yeah whatever I pick up 😂
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@Default would also be interested
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@Default me too
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@chaiman cigarettes are physically addictive but weed can make you feel so comfortable that before you know it you're addicted
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Anyone here happen to have an addicting personality in general? I personally am and can be very compulsive
@ottoHODL somewhat, not with everything though. Id say im a 7/10 when it comes to that. I can say i dislike coke and meh with alcohol for example and those never really got to me
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@georgeka would it help to consider the price of your stash as the price to start your journey out of addiction?
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@ottoHODL I have that problem with videogames 😭 thats my biggest addiction
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I also disdain coke
10:51 PM
Love weed
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like if i was the social jolly user i am with alcohol with weed as well, life would be great
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Weird world
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:51 PM
"it's just weed, at least I am not an alcoholic"
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@robboski yeah true that. That comfy vibe. Lol.
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yeah i did that from 21-24 😬 @leaving_again (edited)
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"it's just weed, at least I am not an alcoholic"
@leaving_again ^^^^^
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Womp womp
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@ottoHODL I don't know if I have an addictive personality or if I just have very little willpower in general, or if the two are even mutually exclusive
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@leaving_again last time I quit (2 years ago) I replaced weed with alcohol...
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traps all around the place, and our traps arent traps for others', necessarily
10:52 PM
@robboski how did that work out?
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I don't have an addictive personality I don't think, just a lot of trauma in my past and stuff I've been trying to avoid/escape
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"replaced weed with alcohol" I've done that
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:53 PM
@robboski I have made the same mistake. And then I get too buzzed on alcohol and the weed temptation jumps
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@diosa do u shrink?
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@k|24v!sn1 I wouldn't say I became an alcoholic but I definitely did it as regularly as I'd been smoking weed
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I quit cigarettes, then I quit alcohol, and then I quit weed.. so far so good... but never felt like weed was a bad thing.. I think i was on denial becsuse I loved it so much
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yeah but, was it handleable?
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@Blizz I never thought of it like that. You have a point. I think I will give it to my friend, including my vape (which was the most expensive thing in that box) until further notice. For a long time
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@whizzita lol
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Hello everybody
👋 2
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if I drank as often as I smoked I would 100% call myself an alcoholic
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hi @DL23
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:54 PM
@dinnyhoon The r/leaves position is that it isn't the user and it isn't the weed, it's the user plus the weed. Like vinegar and baking soda. Take one away from the other and things get better
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Going to a shrink? Sure was...just not always financially accessible to me so I've been in and out of therapy
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@dinnyhoon yeah, i think generally the comparison game is useless
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@Moderator -- Subduction that's a good way of looking at it, thanks
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@k|24v!sn1 I managed OK
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@diosa I think i will go there as well because i feel i generated shit concrete feelings along the way and they are with me always now
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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But after been clean for more than a year and smoking again, I didnt love weed that much anymore and I could see the cons better
10:55 PM
but took me like 4 months of excuses to stop smoking
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:55 PM
Bad dog.
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Do it @k|24v!sn1 I think therapy can be useful for everyone, not just those of us w trauma/addiction concerns
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A therapy is always a good solution to get your life back on track
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Is it just me or can you not emoji react to texts anymore?
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Not just you
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I cant either @georgeka
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:57 PM
@whizzita that's happened to me twice. Once last summer. And again right now. It's hard to get back away even though I hate it
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Do any of you (maybe an age question this) massively worry about "what if i get sober and see things clearer and a massive wave of regret then hits me because ive been a pothead all this time" sorta thing?
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I feel like therapy can be great if it's takign the right angle - I struggled with anxiety/depression therapy for years before I was diagnosed with ASC at 29, turns out we'd been fighting the fire with the wrong extinguisher so to speak
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@dinnyhoon sorry to hear that friend
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@k|24v!sn1 yeah but you'll waste more years if you don't quit
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@k|24v!sn1 not really, i already kind of realized that and that’s why i wanted to quit
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Agreed. Def requires work to find the right provider/modality
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Do any of you (maybe an age question this) massively worry about "what if i get sober and see things clearer and a massive wave of regret then hits me because ive been a pothead all this time" sorta thing?
@k|24v!sn1 Yup and it hit me like a truck. I ruined my entire life thanks to depression, other mental problems and the addition of weed. Took me a good while to get used to it that I can repair the things I have done but once I got back on track life is turning out pretty okay for me so far
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:58 PM
@georgeka Somebody broke reactions by misconfiguring permissions. Not productive to get into blaming people at this time.
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@k|24v!sn1 i think that’s part of why beginning the quitting process is so daunting
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Still a long way but being on track feels great.
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So many new people, great conversation, you guys are the best. I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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@georgeka Somebody broke reactions by misconfiguring permissions. Not productive to get into blaming people at this time.
@Moderator -- Subduction not blaming anyone! Just checking 🤠
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@k|24v!sn1 that regret and realisation of what I'd wasted happened while I was still smoking tbh, it's why I quit
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@whizzita the problem is reality is actually pretty boring. That's how this simulation is. That's why we're all trying to bombard ourselves with distractions and addictive substances all the time. And it feels really good while we're high. I guess the problem is where the stoners give priority to feeling good and comfortable over doing the important things to move forward..
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hope everyone has a good night, this hour has been amazing
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Im a little for quarantine to be over, in general it’s been really good for me but im scared to get offered weed when it’s over and crack
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 10:59 PM
GET OFF MY BACK @georgeka 🙂
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Bye y'all
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@dinnyhoon that may be it actually yeah. I just got too used to saying im useless and that has been my shitty shield forever now
10:59 PM
Thanks all, you peeps are great
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thanks guys! be safe out there everyone~
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Goodnight everyone. Also lol @Moderator -- Subduction
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leaving_again 11/05/2020 10:59 PM
Thanks
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Good night everyone
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@k|24v!sn1 dont worry for things that havent happened yet, save that energy for later
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Bye thanks everyone!
11:00 PM
Stay strong
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Moderator -- Subduction 11/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors and try to fix everything I broke today. Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!
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Closing...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
11:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 11:00 am Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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@chaiman I believe we do it because we dont want to see - and drugs help with that
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking... Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi. Now you go!
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Unlocking... Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi. Now you go!
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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hey all, 40 days clean today ! never thought id make it this far. wayy less needing to smoke since the past few days ! everything is possible 🙂
👋 2
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Hello again everybody, I've been quit for 22 days now!
👍 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:01 PM
That's weird, it made me look like DaveBot. I am not DaveBot. I am me. Although some days it's hard to tell.
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I’m Isaac, I’ve quit so many times but I can feel this one is different. Today is day one again and I promised myself if I can go a month no smoking I’m going to join the Navy
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Also 21 days with no cigarettes. F**k off nicotine
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:01 PM
👉 Reactions should be working again for those who want them. Let me know if they aren't...
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I finally have a chance to join chat! Always miss it. Anyway on day 4 now and I’m definitely feeling like my old self again. But i caved in and bought two cbd carts. Good or bad idea?
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:02 PM
Welcome @Roddy !
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hi guys how are you
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:02 PM
Happy you made it @Mr. Chives !
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@robboski I just got off the nicotine. That boy was rough
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Thanks!
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@Roddy its horrible!
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Ahhh nicotine. I convinced myself i quit smoking cigs 2 years ago. But i smoke bongs with tobacco. Which i feel like is a huge reason why this is so hard
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:04 PM
(Welcome @pk !)
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@pk same
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My biggest hurdle seems to be sleep. Its like i forgot how
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:04 PM
(Hey @Sandwich !)
4:05 PM
@pk same again
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Hey sub, hope you’re doing well mate
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I felt tired last night yawning, I tries going to sleep at 12 and didnt sleep til about 4:30
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good morning. Day 20.
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@pk same here. I’m on day 3 and I’ve started getting very strange and vivid dreams
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Well done guys! (edited)
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I took a step today to reach out to a mindfulness program and got some info. Hardest part is committing to these kinds of things but at this point i’ll take any support i can get
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That’s awesome PK
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hey thats great!
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Any feel like its more mental than anything? If you’re familiar with classic conditioning...dog hears bell, dog salivates. For me its smoke=sleep.
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irs huge making that first step!
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Thanks guys. At this point this is the best support i’ve found
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I felt a lot of emotions coming back to me the first week, quite a bit of crying
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4:07 PM
The dreams were very weird
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I cried this morning😂
4:08 PM
No apparent reason
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Good for you mate, let it out!
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@pk for me as soon as it gets dark I’m used to going out for a smoke
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Yeah the hardest time for me was between 7pm and midnight, the times I used to smoke the most weed
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yesterday morning, had a terrible nightmare, and started crying as soon as i woke up
4:08 PM
honestly it was pretty great
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Do any of you have less anxiety in the mornings now compared to before?
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I’d say less guilt rather than anxiety. Or maybe a bit of both
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:09 PM
For those of you having sleep problems, a Leaves user regularly posts a list of sleep tips collected from the group. Worth a read. https://www.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/6re5u5/some_more_effective_sleep_tips/
12 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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Hello everyone
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Can vouch for sub on that, I read that and it helps tremendously
4:11 PM
I incorporated that and two mugs of chamomile tea before bed and that seemed to work a lot better
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Hey guys! Hope everyone is having a great day!
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And you ladchee!
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good morning @ladchee how many days?
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I’ve always loved tea, but the highly caffeinated tea🙈i mean it did the job, chamomile sounds worth a shot
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Yeah I use it as it’s the only one I know that’s got no caffeine
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It’s day two for me but I’m feeling great. @Ghastles (edited)
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Green tea kept me up
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has anyone seen @Blizz yesterday / today? worried they didnt check in yesterday (edited)
4:13 PM
awesome @ladchee !
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btw if you want to drop some sugar from your drinks make a huge amount of tea which you can drink cold as well without sugar and drink this instead
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mmmmm suntea
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I don’t want to sound like a hipster but purple tea has been treating me well
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had to take a few takes to find the correct one but was worth
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Yeah same, find what works for you and stick to it (edited)
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Hey everyone. Long time lurker on leaves, about 8 months now with two slip-ups. I'm still mostly here to listen for now, but thought I'd say hello
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:18 PM
Welcome @Conchúr ! Happy you made it.
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You’re doing really well mate! Keep it up
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@Conchúr it does help engaging here. Im new as of 3 days ago but its been a huge help reflecting here with people
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4:18 PM
Felt a little awkward at first but it really helps
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this is the perfect to getting started and train to open upo
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4:19 PM
this is anonymus and the internet, nobody knows your face or name
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Yeah, it’s great knowing I have a community to wake up to. You guys are awesome
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nobody knows your face or name
@DL23 unless your face is on your avatar 🤣
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yeah well 😄
4:21 PM
I can confirm I am not spongebob 😄
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Thanks everyone! I'm not too stressed about my identity being discovered 😁 my place of work nearly encourages the stuff
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@DL23 i totally get it though, the sub has been super helpful for that. can post "anonymously" and say things i couldnt say to a local group
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@Conchúr same. At this point i’d plaster my face all over town for some peace of mind from bongs lol
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:23 PM
working on day 3. Feeling the wind behind my back
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awesome th hear Ghastles!
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hopefully its pushing you forward @leaving_again !
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@leaving_again good job. It is hard as hell, as I'm sure you've read, at first, but it gets easier
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Hey all, day 22 here. Been feeling feelings and riding cravings like a champ but its been hard.
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thats great @kaylia !
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:26 PM
it's not my first rodeo. I have been kicking around the leaves subreddit since august 2018. It's been great help to my life
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Well done guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:27 PM
(Welcome @kaylia !)
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day 1 again for me
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4:28 PM
CNeu go huskies?
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PSA: last night I binge watched Midnight Riot and it made me bawl like a baby at the end. Be careful watching if you dont have supports but its great for inspiring a moment to deal with hard stuff, especially the later episodes.
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:29 PM
movies hit (and last) a lot longer when not high
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@volecowboy Good work for continuing to try! its not the number of attempts that matter, but that in the end you stay quit!
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@volecowboy I'm not familiar with any huskies 😬 Google says American Football. I'm in Europe
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thanks @Ghastles
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The amount of movies i’ve sat im that i completely forget is too many to count lol
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handegg!
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I thought you might have gone to my university @Conchúr
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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Tata folks, thank you all for existing and supporting each other.
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Hey all
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rip @HamsterBot
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@volecowboy Musta been some other handsome devil
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haha
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heya @Katelyn
4:31 PM
staying strong?
4:31 PM
2 weeks and 4 days
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@volecowboy go huskies!
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nice job man
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Oof it’s early here - morning all!
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@Jay woop woop
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And my vivid anxiety dreams started becoming funny and interesting again so i am hoping that will peter off soon
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:31 PM
@Ghastles DaveBot is still around. He handles locking and unlocking and other fun things.
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4th day running and going strong!
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Day 4 is hard good for you
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:32 PM
(Welcome @Chloe !)
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@Katelyn I’m in the same boat as you mate
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oooh @Moderator -- Subduction just growing your robot army! The singularity is upon us!
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@georgeka it's nuts but I think it will pass
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:33 PM
Nothing is safe when I'm learning Python.
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at least its not perl!
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:33 PM
lol
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@Katelyn it will. At least I’m feeling rested after sleep even though the dreams are crazy
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@georgeka falling asleep for a quick nap in the morning makes the worst ones
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Morning dreams can also be some of the best ones though - a real roll of the dice for me
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my dreams are definitively weird but I am happy I can dream again
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4:36 PM
things like I am the main reason for COVID19 and also a talking bear who is fluently in dutch
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Id take the bear dream out of those 2😂
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@DL23 I’m looking forward to dream again (edited)
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Duolingo hunting us even in our sleep
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@ladchee same. This is all i here about is these vivid dreams
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All of mine have been negative and anxious until last night when I dreamt that Bruce Campbell was my bartender
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@Katelyn lol
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and I woke up like "nice, I'll take it" lol
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4:37 PM
campbell would be a great tender
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He was
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until he started attacking peole with chainsawarm?
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He suggested a white russian. I mean come on.
4:38 PM
Oh, no it was def him and not Ash
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:38 PM
if i snooze too much, i potentially have some disturbing dreams. It's better to just get up!
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Guys, gonna be afk for a while! Tc and have fun!
👋 4
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He was in a play but I showed up too late to get tickets so i hung out at the bar and he ended up being the bartender
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:38 PM
but sleepy me doesn't think that clearly
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Hi all! I smoked yesterday guys. I fucked up
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All of mine have been negative and anxious until last night when I dreamt that Bruce Campbell was my bartender
@Katelyn his signature drink, the zombie. A mix of rums, juices and a couple liqueurs
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@ottoHODL don't do it today then. You can recover!
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@ottoHODL how are you feeling today?
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@georgeka my brain shoulda known smh
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@ottoHODL hey. That's a tough thing to deal with. Try to prevent it from becoming more days. A day is way easier to recover from than a week, a month, or a year
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Hello fellows!!! 👋
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exactly what CNeu says
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@ottoHODL In this last stint of trying to quite, I stopped for 2 days then smoked then stopped for 3 and smoked then stopped for 2 then smoked but now I am at over 2 weeks. Get rid of your stash it is the only way
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dont think" okay I fucked up I can start over again doesnt matter" just try harder this time 🙂
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Hi everyone,day 5 check in.My dreams are crazy vivid.Dealing with a lot of nausea
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welcome @whizzita what day are you on your quit?
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@Katelyn how are you feeling now?
4:41 PM
And how long did it take to feel good
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@Katelyn true
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@DL23 Yes that is important, it does matter when you fuck up but you still want to exercise a tiny bit of compassion for yourself because if you don;t it might push you to use again
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welcome @whizzita what day are you on your quit?
@Ghastles I stopped on January but im not counting the days 🤷🏻‍♀️
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:41 PM
@ottoHODL As a wise person on Leaves put it, "Okay, so you had a lapse. What you do next will determine whether it's a relapse..."
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@AnthonyK great job on day 5! I promise, if you hang in there, the naseau will pass
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@ottoHODL I feel great. I am better at work, my sleep matters more when I can get it, and I am so much more attentive to my own life. It's hard because we are globally sitting on some hard times but I am finding a lot of positive energy. Also my skin looks fucking great.
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Well, vivid dreams are related to the pandemia situation too smithsonian published an article about it
4:43 PM
so its not only as when stop smoking, we got an extra factor
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@whizzita I read that! Super interesting
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dreams are weirder than ever
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@whizzita I quit smoking butts like 1.5 years ago too and that brought back some craziness. It's a melange of reasons to have a wild subconscious.
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:44 PM
@ottoHODL I have had a few multi month quits over the past few years. I usually start feeling better a little at a time starting within the first week. Then it get's a bit better every week. Usually feeling strong towards end of week 2
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Mine is out of control @Katelyn lol
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I am heading off for now have a good one everyone!
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@leaving_again I second this. I've gone at most a whole month in the past couple of years and there is a high ump to get over before you really start to feel the benfits.
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@DL23 bye ✌️
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Yes, at the beginning is always hard @leaving_again @ottoHODL I recommend always getting rid of papers pipes stash etc (edited)
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@whizzita I research pandemia
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What if we all spit out our top fav. thing about being weed free to help @ottoHODL get back on the train? Mine is that my laughter feels more meaningful and comes out louder 🙂
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@AnthonyK My bad, is pandemic, my phone has spanish, italian and english languages sometimes corrects word to whatever it wants lol
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Nice idea. Mine is not lying to my partner all the time. This goes for friends and family to an extent as well
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@Ghastles thanks. Cant wait to eat food without struggling
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:49 PM
my favorite thing is that time moves slower. I am mid 40s, so i hate seeing weeks go by in a haze
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@whizzita lol
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My favorite thing about being sober is that I don’t need to worry about anyone noticing I’m intoxicated AF 🙌🏽 that always made paranoid 🙄 (edited)
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Hey everyone. This is my first time using Discord. Hoping to find a support system to kick this habit. Hope your afternoons are going well (:
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:51 PM
Welcome @ms4039 !
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Welcome @ms4039 I’m sure you are on the right path
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@ms4039 Welcome!
4:52 PM
I am hopping off to start work again but nice to chat with you all. Congrats on getting wherever you are in your quit and keep it going
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:53 PM
Where are you in your quit @ms4039 ?
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@ms4039 welcome
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@Moderator -- Subduction I’ve relapsed this weekend after a month of staying cannabis free. When I get anxious about life, I tend to slip up and my progress is washed away.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:55 PM
@ms4039 congrats on coming here to talk about it. That's often the hardest part (edited)
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:56 PM
@ms4039 , well, we'll be closing soon so you just slipped in under the wire, but do you have a stash around?
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@Moderator -- Subduction no I do not have any with me.
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:56 PM
That's good news. It really helps.
4:57 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! I'm happy to see you all, especially the new faces. I hope to see each of you back!
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4:58 PM
@ms4039 Any chance you can make it back at 5 eastern time for the next session?
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 4:58 PM
@ms4039 stay strong. you are in good company. I slipped up after 6 months twice. It's easy to get back into the rut and hard to get out. You made a good first step on that
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I will see you guys soon.
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Have a good day everybody. Take care of yourselves
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 4:59 PM
okay @ms4039 Stay busy, keep yourself distracted, and we'll talk again soon.
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Thanks everyone
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 5:00 PM
thanks
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Okay all closing the doors. See you later everybody!
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Closing...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
5:00 PM
👉 That's it for now everybody! We'll be back at 5pm Eastern Time (UTC-4) today! 👈 ▶️ Remember, there's also a 24-hour conversation at http://reddit.com/r/leaves -- jump over there and introduce yourself, and take a look at the stickied post for the next live chat meeting. ⭐ See you soon! ⭐
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:00 PM
hello
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hi
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi. Now you go!
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good afternoon
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Hello!
👋 3
10:00 PM
How's everybody feeling today?
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Hey guys, good evening
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:00 PM
feelin pretty good
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been doing great im on a pretty successful streak right now
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SeeYouNextTuesday 12/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi all!
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41 days much longer than my last best
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @SeeYouNextTuesday , welcome!
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barely ever made it two weeks before this
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I leave work in half an hour which is usually when i would start to smoke. Little anxious but im gonna do what i can to push through. 11pm est tonight is 24hrs for me!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 12/05/2020 10:01 PM
I’m over a week in and honestly... loving the clarity. Finally had enough of lying to myself over the years. We can do it gang!
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gl
10:03 PM
when people say it gets easier its so true
10:03 PM
The first weeks are definetly the hardest because nothing stimulates you like weed does
10:03 PM
now when im bored i can just play video games and I dont really get the urge to smoke
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Im so exhausted today. Purchased some chamomile tea and hoping to crash tonight. Even if just for a couple hours
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:04 PM
im at 15 days. slight urges but they go away easily
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Is t it crazy how when im at my desk i feel like i could knock out any second
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Hello, back again. I spent my day repainting the basement bathroom. My one month streak ended last weekend because I got too comfortable with the progress that I was making.
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Hi hope everyones good
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@ms4039 after being off a month and smoking again are you craving again? Back to square one?
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Today's my first migraine since I quit - it's tough as hell when I can't just smoke myself into oblivion and sleep through the worst of it
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:05 PM
@pk feel you on that, exhausted
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does this discord not allow reddit link
10:06 PM
i keep trying to send a post i made awhile back on stuff i do to sleep when quitting
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@dinnyhoon I feel you..
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:07 PM
@SantaClocks Not at the moment -- still in the early days, so we're keeping things limited.
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@dinnyhoon ive got a head ache too lol
10:07 PM
forgot what they felt like
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ok makes sense
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@pk i basically wasted away the weekend smoking instead of being productive. I got rid of my stash and I’m trying to catch up on goals I set for this month.
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Hi guys
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this is an r/petioles post i made awhile ago on things i do to get to bed, works really well for me so i hope it helps you guys "Insomnia is always the worst part of a tolerance break for me, when you don’t get enough sleep it just makes all the other withdrawals worse. So here’s how I can almost always get a good nights sleep on day 1. • I take the most melatonin that is allowed as per the instructions on the bottle, for me that’s 3 pills. If I fall asleep easily I take two the next night, one the night after that and so on until I don’t have to take it. • I make sure to get some exercise a few hours before bed, tires me out and encourages my body to rest •I take a cold shower before bed. I’m not sure if this is a personal thing or if it should work for everyone, but it knocks me right out. I think I’ve read before that lowering your body’s temperature before sleeping should help you sleep"
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How do you deal with your migraines @dinnyhoon
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day 11 here, when does cognitive function come back fully? i feel like i forget a lot of things easily
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Im so tempted to break my bong when i get home. Like i know i dont want to smoke but the rationalization im capable of it crazy lol
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@ms4039 usually depends on what symptoms show up but the only thing that works for me every time is waiting it out in a darkened room and avoiding caffeine
10:10 PM
Today I have the stabby headache, light aversion and mild nausea - not the worst but enough to write the day off
10:11 PM
@pk if you're quitting you should do it, it sounds like a great moment of catharsis
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@dinnyhoon I’ve got no real experience with migraines but it sounds frustrating. I’d imagine you’re avoiding excess screen time as well
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@pk always throw away or give away something you can smoke from or it's easier to fall to the temptations, gotta make it as inconvenient as possible
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@pk definetly do it, one of my most successful attempts at quitting followed me going to a forest and smashing my dab pen with a rock
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Im so tempted to break my bong when i get home. Like i know i dont want to smoke but the rationalization im capable of it crazy lol
@pk do it!
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dont do it right away
10:12 PM
celebrate it
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@ms4039 yeah my eyes really hate screens on days like this, but I can tolerate the dim oled in my phone for an hour or so at a time
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i reccomemd c4
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how ya doing @Darknet Shrimp Merchant @Mörxl @Ghastles
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exploding things you no longer need is super satisfying, and... ultimate
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I wont say i’ve been sober. But since saturday i’ve smoked 4 bongs. I got to the point where when i sat to hit a bowl, one wasnt enough.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:13 PM
@Blizz im doin good. the whole college thing isn't working out the way i planned so thats stressing me out but alright otherwise
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@Blizz !
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@blizz weird day. Had the weirdest nightmare tonight BUT I dreamt for the first time in ages so that's something positive I guess. How bout you?
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@Ghastles maybe my view of the US is a bit warped, but is C4 just readily available over there? 😂
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:14 PM
@dinnyhoon idk about c4 but tannerite you can buy
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I also have set up a skype session woth a cognitive behavioural therapist this friday im looking forward too. First time doing anything like this but i’ll take any help i can get
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ya got this @Darknet Shrimp Merchant , nothing ever turns out 100% how we think it will but i know youll pull through
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:15 PM
<Subduction begins drafting an unanticipated "no explosives discussion" rule.>
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:15 PM
thanks man, still workin on it. they screwed up with my transcripts and are trying to make me take a bunch of stuff i already took
10:15 PM
told them if they don't sort it out im not paying to retake classes
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@Mörxl what day? i started had a terrible night of nightmares on day 3 or 4 and it really messed with me but every night since then hasn't been nearly as bad, i actually don't even remember dreaming the past few days
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I've been dreaming more and more vividly every night for the last 2 weeks, had my first 2 real nightmares last night
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I’m still having pretty wild dreams after years of having none. Not necessarily nightmares but definitely more negative than positive dreams
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10:17 PM
But hey at least I’m getting REM sleep
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the ones about your exes are the worst
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@Blizz you mean on what day I'm on? Day 8.
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Yeah day 8. Getting more confident in myself.
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was yours one long nightmare or repeated right after each other?
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What's up
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10:18 PM
Day 2 here
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grats Skooma, ya made it past the hardest day
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Im so happy i found this. I honestly didnt know what reddit/discord was a week ago and now i find myself waiting for these chats.
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10:19 PM
A collective thank you to everyone lol.
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Yeah, I'm just trying to stay sober, and figuring out my post quarantine plan
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@Blizz one long nightmare. Woke up at 3am and had to take a walk to clear my mind. After that I don't think I dreamt anything significant.
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@Blizz i had one nightmare wake me up sweating, and fell back asleep quite quickly into another totally unrelated bad dream
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@pk Same man. Welcome!
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A walk at 3 am? it must not be freezing where you live right now lol
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I'm just afraid of not sticking through with this. I've changed my mind some many times. It's been like this for years.
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@Blizz my anxiety fueled walk included 3 pairs of sweatpants, 3 hoodies and a winter jacket😂
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man, its been like -4 for the last week when i woke up
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@Hans Zimmy I've found this chat to be a big motivator, if I stay sober I can come in here and talk about my progress and that's my little reward
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It was believe me😂 but it was the right decision.
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@Hans Zimmy same here. I even cut down to a system where i would smoke one single bowl before bed. But everytime i try to completely cut it out i never follow through. So easy to say “its just weed”
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sweet jesus yall are crazy, id rather walk up and down my stairs a few times than go walk in freezing weather esp at 3 am
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:23 PM
hearing the people at the beginning of their quits reminds me that I don't want to go back. 2 weeks in and i've kinda forgotten how hard it was at first
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yes, this chat has been super motivating and helpful. Just coming in to give a # update, and seeing others
10:24 PM
(YOU ALL ROCK!)
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@Darknet Shrimp Merchant i cannot wait to be there.
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with all the talk of weed being harmless compared to other drugs, something i keep telling myself to stay on track is "weed hasn't killed anyone but it has ruined lives"
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:25 PM
@pk you will be, just keep going. it gets so much easier
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i saw it in a reddit comment once
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@pk I wish I could smoke sparingly. For me it's all or nothing. If I have weed, I'm going to smoke it. Then I end up having brain fog all week and getting nothing done.
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My trick for getting to sleep at 3am has been to sit there on the couch watching long monotone Youtube videos about history (I know loads about the first half of the French revolution now but my eyes start to drop around the time they behead Marie antoinette)
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Zach, well, now mixing it with vapes, it totally has killed people
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true
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@Hans Zimmy if you only knew how many times a day i say “all or nothing”.
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but no ones dying from smoking bud
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lung cancer would disagree
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@dinnyhoon tried this. Am now an expert in 18th century cooking techniques🙄😂
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@Hans Zimmy I had the same thing for several months, I would try for a few days, get anxiety from not smoking, smoke, get anxiety about failing, try a break, rinse and repeat a lot. try not to judge yourself too much because it just leads you into a vicious cycle
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@Blizz preeeaaach
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@Subduction said it perfectly the other day - it's not you or the weed that's the problem, it's just the combination of the two
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@dinnyhoon very true, always wished i could just smoke occasionally like i drink occasionally but the problem is i just like smoking weed so much more than drinking
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10:28 PM
so it doesnt work
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FromtheFarEast 12/05/2020 10:28 PM
For people who are having a hard time with sleep, "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker or "Sleep" by Nick Littlehales really turned my life around. They are both highly credited sleep coaches who have worked with professional sports teams since they are so effective. There are also podcasts out there by them that are shorter and also very helpful!!
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@SantaClocks amen. No other vice has grabbed me like weed
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@Zach yep, after years of smoking and being sober-ish after a few hours, drinking genuinely feels very heavy for me and I much prefer weed to alcohol - it's helped though because it wouldn't have been easy for me to take up drinking after quitting weed
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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Greetings it's the English weirdo coming to announce her sobriety continues. I'm done stroking sheep for the therapeutic qualities now ❌🐑
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hey there! i was baking 😋
10:31 PM
hope everyone is doing great
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Hi there!
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stroking them has to be better than smoking them!
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hi i'm 19 this is my 2 week mark of sobriety and i'm really enjoying it
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Not gonna lie I'm really struggling my husband smokes and is constantly trying to get me to smoke with him
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I prefer stealing their hair for clothing anyways
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@M1NDFEEDER im glad im not the only uk representative in here haha
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:31 PM
Hi @Crithtina , welcome!
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Hey :) today is my day 1 of sobriety, happier and have been more productive today already. Trying hard to not go back to my old ways
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welcome @sapotts congratulations on 2 weeks!
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awesome @sapotts I wish I got sober at that age ☺
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@SantaClocks Same. Drinking is so boring to me lol. I end up crazing weed twice hard after I drink tho
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@Crithtina being around ppl who still do it is very difficult but i think all u can do is provide them with reasons not to smoke, like fun activities that require sobriety
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Today , was the day we were finally allowed by our state to go play rugby on a pitch with my town team. Feeling super tired and happy that i will sleep like a sheep today ❤️
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hey all. pandemic has extended my LDR and my partner just asked to take a break as they’re struggling with the uncertainty of reuniting. sad but happy to be dealing with the emotions instead of blunting them. cravings have gone down a lot after spiking in week 3 and 4 and feeling good 😊
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@_frankiee_ You will make it happen, Im sure!!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:32 PM
Welcome @sapotts , @_frankiee_ !
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thanks guys i've been observing the rest of my family abuse substances their whole lives and their lives just don't go anywhere
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Thanks guys, it's already helped my cravings earlier reading around here and reminding myself it's not worth it
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You Scottish Irish or Welsh then? @dinnyhoon seeings as you said UK
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i'm looking forward to having time and money to basically invest however i want it's pretty exciting
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:33 PM
@yames that's rough, i hope everything works out one way or another
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i didnt realize how much money i was wasting until i stopped
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@sapotts that’s the hardest part, that’s why I don’t see some friends anymore
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@sapotts same here. Having more money would make a huge difference
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Hello Everyone. I've been lurking on this channel for a few days. I started smoking again after a long time the moment the lockdown was announced. I am trying to quit starting today. I've gone through my stash and haven't picked up any so far.
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friendships for more than 10 years are over
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@M1 oh I'm English as well haha (but I'm scouse so we're slightly less English in our minds)
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@whizzita Yeah, it sucks cause I've made so many friendships from weed.
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at first i would just factor in the price of the weed which wasnt that bad but i didnt account for the food and other purchases i made while high
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@whizzita yes that's a really sad part but i think of it as my life moving on and they'll catch up or they won't but i shouldn't let them hold me back
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:34 PM
Hi @Joon, glad you jumped in!
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vintage clothes shopping on eBay while stoned was one of my favorite activities lol
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i remember one time getting stoned then my headphones broke and i just bike to best buy and got a new pair that were like $200
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@Crithtina I dont mean to be harsh, but, if you have told him, clearly, that you dont want to smoke, you dont want him to pressure you to smoke, and he still doesnt respect your wishes - its time to re-evaluate your relationship, and whether it should continue.
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@Joon I finished my stash last night and am sober starting today. Join me. We can do this :)
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Me too @Hans Zimmy I cant deny I had fun with them but not anymore The last couple of months everything lost sense
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things are less exciting without weed but at the same time more exciting, it's like finding the holy grail u know lol
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@sapotts You are right!!
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 12/05/2020 10:35 PM
im gonna head out. have a good night everyone, stay strong
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 10:35 PM
@SantaClocks i see a bike in your profile pic. Have you been using that as part of recovery?
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@Ghastles I feel like some people just don't feel comfortable smoking by themselves because it makes them feel like an addict.
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it was always a big hobby of mine one of the few things i kept doing even during heavy periods of smoking
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@_frankiee_ the previous times I have successfully quit it was easy to distract myself with other things. But with the lockdown it is so hard.
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but it definetly helps a lot
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 10:36 PM
@sapotts i tend to get excited about quitting weed for the first month or two. The hard part is that starts to feel normal and then taken for grnated
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@leaving_again Yeah it feels like you have super powers lol
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 10:36 PM
@SantaClocks yep, can't smoke a bike up.
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@Joon saamee. It's been really hard to quit because I've just been so bored so it was easier to smoke all day.
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@leaving_again I completely sympathize
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@Hans Zimmy i agree. and really... its likely they are, and are using other people as an excuse
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Honestly since I don’t hangout with my smokers crew I don’t miss it all Because I honestly love how it smells and I miss smoking 🤷🏻‍♀️
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yeah the tough thing is that new hobbies/habits take awhile to develop and feel like critical parts of your day. Gotta force yourself through the boredom until they feel more natural
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Yes, the smell is a strong trigger for me too. If I get a whiff while walking down the street my brain lights up with interest.
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you're so used to the rush that everything is boring at the beginning
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@whizzita I feel you - I’m majorly triggered by the smell. When I’m out jogging on a sunny day and smell that shit I just wanna lie down in the grass and get smacked 😫
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The smell of it makes me want to vom now 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I'm glad I can't smell anything I lost my sense of smell and taste two months ago because I got covid
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ugh. yeah. was in a room with people smoking yesterday, it was pretty rough
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Shits not legal in Brooklyn but everyone is out smoking all day on nice days
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no fucking way
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@leaving_again i keep reminding myself with drugs that it's a simple answer, no and i hope i will remember that
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@yames I've picked up running last week to try to distract myself and it's helped a little
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Loner stoner here🙈never really social smoker. Even when i did smoke woth friends we were more so getting high and being vegetables together
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I'm just glad we're in lockdown because my hometown is notorious for smelling like weed 24/7
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 10:39 PM
i once had a bike commute that had me passing a chocolate factory, a brewery, and then a weed shop. All those smells in a row were a lot to process (edited)
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@Crithtina I hope you are better now 🤗
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@_frankiee_ nice! Def produces good chemicals, and if you start to enjoy it, I thibk you’ll be thankful to have a clear chest
10:40 PM
I’ve gotten into running wnough now that I don’t want to smoke in order to not interfere with my performance
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@Crithtina your senses didn't return? 😳😳
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@_frankiee_ thinking heavily about starting
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@Jay just 3 days till we're 2 week twins
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Thanks yes better now it's been two months since I could smell and taste but that cough omg so glad it's over I was in the hospital twice and I'm so ashamed to say I didn't quit then
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@_frankiee_ Running is amazing. It really puts your mind in a better place for making decisions, or reevaluating anything you've got going on.
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Don’t be @Crithtina its an addiction and thats why we all struggle with it
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@pk today is always the best day to start :) it'll feel super tiring at first but second week is already getting easier
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All symptoms are gone but I'll never again take smelling for granted or complain about my husband being stinky haha
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@Crithtina Two years ago, I was on strong medications when I was diagnosed with tuberculosis. I too didn't quit while going through that over 6 months.
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@Crithtina glad you're feeling better
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@Crithtina i had a terrible virus a couple years ago and smoked through it too.
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@Hans Zimmy Running is my secret weapon.
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Thanks I'm glad I'm not alone guys
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@_frankiee_ running is so great for quiting, it gets you high but its actually good for you
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I'm going to start running today too what a good idea
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leaving_again 12/05/2020 10:41 PM
I have done the couch 2 5k thing and i have to agree. Running really sets the mind up in a happy place. Knee's don't love it so I am more of a fast walker or biker these days (edited)
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@Blizz I think you’re a day ahead! This is day 10 for me
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cycling has a similar effect in my experience
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<Looks at Michael Jackson album>
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and its much easier to start
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@Crithtina shame goes hand in hand with addiction unfortunately. But it means you want to get better. Just try to be proud that you’re making active choices to do so!
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You're definitely not alone
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Thrilling!
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Man any physical exercise is such a tool. Mentally, physically
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I think I smoke when I get anxious and fidgety. Is there any way I can deal with that without giving in to smoking?
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if you're new to running start slow with something like 30 sec sprint 60 sec walk for 10 cycles your first time.
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I like to do 100 day streaks of running just one mile a day it helps me see progress and a mile is easier so I won't wuss out. At most it's 10 min of running hehe
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@Jay oops youre right, today is day 10
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@yames @Hans Zimmy @SantaClocks I've heard great things about running helping so I'm really trying to stick to this much healthier running habit until I start enjoying it :)
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I want to take up running during lockdown but have no running shoes or gymwear, and I live in a city so concrete is my only option
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@Joon I started taking cold showers and i realized theyre a great tool to calm yourself down. the cold water is so overpowering that your mind cant focus on anything else so i am usually much calmer afterwards
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@Joon not for evrryone, but i have a serenity coin i finger when feeling particularily anxious
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remember to warm up properly, focus on your form, stretch before and after, AND MEET YOURSELF WHERE YOURE AT. easy to try to go too hard —> feel like shit —> not try again. 😊 it’ll set you up nicely for building the habit
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@dinnyhoon I bought new running shoes online from REI and only just started running now. Definitely still doable.
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@Jay oops youre right, today is day 10
@Blizz double digits!
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just having something in my hand to play with helps me a lot
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I stopped picking at my acne in high school by playing with some magnets
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Hi everyone, my name is Alex and I've been clean for 5 days. I start smoking weed when I was 14 and I quit at 35 years old. I used to smoke all day everyday. Anywhere between 5-10 joints a day. Since I quit i felt sick, lost apetite and have horrible nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night al wet. I guess it's the process after so many years. I heard about this group cause I was looking around in google to see if everything I was going through was normal. I know it's not going to be easy but I'm willing to give all my best to quit forever. Sorry for this long message. Hope everybody is ok and safe.
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really, m1, really 🤣
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dont go too crazy with running if you end up liking it either I tend to go too hard chasing the runners high and give myself shin splints
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:45 PM
@yames "Meet yourself where you're at" is good advice in general. I like it for a lot of things.
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@Donplay welcome!
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@Ghastles those are great, I bought a stone that says BREATHE to my boyfriend, it helps him a lot
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@Donplay welcome aboard! congrats on making this choice for yourself. The early aughts can be wretched but you can get through them
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Thanks again guys. Im leaving work going home where the “fun” really begins🙄
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@Donplay getting through those first couple of days is rough but so worth it, and a great achievement!
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@yames thank you sir.
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@Donplay hey man, just remember that the first two weeks are the hardest and it only gets easier with time
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:46 PM
Hi @Donplay , welcome! 5 days is awesome. Night sweats are a very common symptom of withdrawal.
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@Donplay I’m glad you are here, welcome!!!
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I’m 1mo1w and change in and I’m still so sweaty every night lol. But slightly less these days.
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Could try sleeping on a towel and flipping it over when you wake soaked @Donplay
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@yames do you have nightmares or dream crazy?
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I had night sweats in week 1 and I was also generally very sweaty and stinky for about 10 days
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Yes, indeed. I've been going through hell lately cause of the withdrawal symptom but I've not really felt the urge to smoke. The only time I wish I could it's in the night so I don't get those creppy nightmares.
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@Crithtina I’ve always tended towards nightmares - I very rarely have dreams that are good. Just neutral or bad. They are really vivid since I stopped smoking and it sucks honestly but I’m getting better at shaking them off and rolling out of bed
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The last time I quit, I had night sweats and weird dreams too. It was very hard to fall asleep.
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The dreams + night sweats are my only physical symptoms that are still with me this far in
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Wow that is so strange
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Also, my throat seemed to be producing far too much mucus lol
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I have to save my eyes guys so I'm dipping out early but thanks again for all being here, its a great help! Have a good night everyone
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Any of you guys make music? I feel I used weed as a crutch to be creative, but I end up being inconsistent and never creating sober -_-
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Bye @dinnyhoon !
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@Hans Zimmy yes
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The members of this group are from everywhere in the world or s specific country ?
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@Hans Zimmy , not me personally, but I have tons of friends who also use drugs to, as you say, feel creative
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today, i finally bought REASON again, and set up my keybosrd
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I’m in New York City @Donplay
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All over apparently @Donplay
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in all honestly @Hans Zimmy ... I kinda found, i never once made music stoned
10:53 PM
i thought i did
10:53 PM
but it all came out of sober periods
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@Donplay from what I've read "only" north America and Europe
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There is an interesting song called "Rosetta Stoned" that is about how we use drugs to be creative and make things feel very profound, but that you don't really need them to be creative. At least that's what I think the song is about 😅
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@Ghastles I can make music for hours, but I end up never finishing what I make. It's like weed gives me this delusion that whatever making is good, but it ends up sounds like crap the next morning lol.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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my coding was the same way :/
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@Mörxl ok, so I guess I'll be the first from Central America but I was born and raised in Montréal, Canada.
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My writing is the same wow
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:55 PM
@Donplay r/leaves has members from all over the world. This is a smaller group but we've still seen a bunch of countries so far -- I'm in Arlington, VA
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I'm from India, but I live in Berkeley now
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:56 PM
By way of 25 years in Manhattan. 🙂 (edited)
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Perhaps the opening hours make it difficult for some countries, it's 11pm ish here 🤷🏼‍♀️
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@Ghastles But I'm committed to making more music sober now. I don't want to rely on it because it's costing me my mental health.
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Weed has a way of making us feel like superstars unfortunately it's just in our head
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Not a complaint by the way
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It's 15:56 here
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We seldom finish what we start
10:56 PM
Seattle here :)
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Anyways I'm going bother some sheep and pretend I'm going to sleep baa byeee
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:57 PM
Yup, that's my sole focus right now @M1NDFEEDER . More moderators = more sessions, but we need some structural things done before we can recruit moderators. On it!
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Grand Rapids, MI ✋
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SoCal here :)
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Gonna get a workout in. Hope y'all have a great day and stay away from the devil's lettuce!
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So many new people, great conversation, you guys are the best. I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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I'm from the country, that according to big bang theory, looks like balls and dick on the map. Sorry for the spam😂 (edited)
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Going to make breakfast here nice intro to the group thanks for the encouragement everyone!
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I am glad I said hello here! I feel a lot more motivated and supported 🙂
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Have a great day!!
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Nice to meet you guys.
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10:59 PM
See you tomorrow.
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good day everyone, hope to see you back with good news!
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See you guys. This has been really helpful and motivating today :)
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Moderator -- Subduction 12/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Alright all, closing the doors. Going to go meet myself where I'm at. See you tomorrow!
11:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Unlocking...
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi. Now you go!
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Good morning!
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4:02 PM
It is day 1 for me and I am coming up on the 24 hour mark 🙂
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Morning! Won’t be active until later today. Attending an online class until 2. Talk soon friends
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:02 PM
That is awesome @Joon -- how are you feeling?
4:03 PM
Good to see you @ms4039 -- see you later!
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'm feeling okay right now. But I think the cravings will hit pretty hard at the times I used to smoke during the day.
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Hello, new here and i just quit yesterday
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Hi guys
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:04 PM
Hi @dinodicc Welcome!
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Howdy, it is day 17 for me. Feeling good, been exercising and keeping busy with chores/hobbies. Hope everyone is doing well.
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Hello @dinodicc ! Nice to see you here! How are you feeling now?
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1 month 4 days today yeet
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That is awesome @snowfreak221 and @Joel !
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:05 PM
awesome @Joel
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Everyday is a new record
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Hello. I am a new joiner here. Long time follower of the sub. Trying to quit again so it's Day 1 (have lost count of number of attempts)
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Slept 4 hours straight last night. Huge improvement!!! Officially 35 hours no weed!
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Good good
4:06 PM
Better to be on day 1 than a day zero
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@jmcd13 It is not easy, we are all trying our best!
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:06 PM
Welcome @jmcd13 !
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Yes, I like this day. I've never seen it before ;)
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The thoughts i have without weed. Like day 2 and the struggles i’ve been going through are so rough but i cant look back. Too much momentum
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Tomorrow will be day two
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Big part of that momentum is this group!!!
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FromtheFarEast 13/05/2020 4:07 PM
Just passed the first week, longest I've gone without smoking in three years. Anxiety is up and down but really feeling the positive effects physically. I hope everyone is proud of themselves, whether it's 1 day or 10 years, this discord chat has made it so much easier to keep going strong. Keep on going everyone!!
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@pk you got this!!
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What are y’all doing today?
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So glad to have found this community. I tried the online MA meetings but trying to emulate an in-person flow in a chat room didn't feel quite right.
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I cannot wait for a week. This morning i bumped into my neighbour and we started chatting. My quitting came up and it ended with me giving him the rest of my stash (~2ounces)
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4:09 PM
@Joel im working! Always a little easier when you’re out of your usual smoking environment
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Your neighbor is a happy man now
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@Joel I haven't gone out for a run or work-out in a couple of week, so I am hoping to motivate myself enough to go out for a small run today
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I gave all my weed and bongs and stuff to my best homie and said “enjoy don’t break the bong”
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5th day successfully running! Hiya guys.
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@Joon exercise is weird. I remember the first time i went to the gym i looked at myself in the mirror for 2 hrs lol
4:10 PM
After 2-3 weeks i was addicted
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Hey :) @chaiman
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@dinodicc sssupp
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Are night sweats a common occurrence when one quits? As a chronic user, I just reached 72 hours clean, but have been having terrible night sweats ever since.
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I'd like to build the exercise habit to undo the quarantine weight. Restarted the C25K prpgram this morning
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@dinodicc imagine having your discord name as DinoDick lol 😂
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@pepper are they ever
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:12 PM
(Welcome @pepper !)
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@pepper yes I get them too!
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Hey everyone, new here... April 13, 2020 was my first day without weed. It’s now May 13th and I’m still going after 11 years with it
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Honestly made it awhile back, thought it was funny @Joel
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That's amazing @Jaythrives
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:13 PM
(Welcome @Jaythrives !)
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Proud of you @Jaythrives
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@Jaythrives that is great!!
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What's up guys?! Hope you're all doing well
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Thanks everyone! 🙏🏾
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:14 PM
(Welcome @Daomoth !)
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:14 PM
Morning leaves. Working on day 4. Woke up pretty relieved I made it another day.
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I was never subscribed to /r/trees but I am now subscribed R/leaves
4:14 PM
And I find that interesting
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Im so new to all of this i didnt even reeeaaally know what reddit was until a couple days ago. Lol. Now its one of my biggest resources
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4:16 PM
Im actually speaking with a cognitive behavioural therapist on friday! That if anything is keeping me going
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Reddit is great!
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Sometimes lol @Joon
4:17 PM
Reddit fucking sucks too
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sounds like you shouldnt use it if you hate it so much.
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4:18 PM
morning @everyone
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4:19 PM
day 21
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Morning
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So I have a question. When I first started smoking (close to 10 years ago now), a lot of my peers who also smoked used to say that "weed is not addictive". Even now, this comes up in conversation a lot. I wonder if anyone has had similar conversations/experiences?
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@Joon yes. far too many times
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Yeah @Joon and they are wrong, usually those who say weed isn’t addictive, are addicted themself
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I've had plently like it I'd say, my response was always that it has it's downs no matter what
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pot culture spread a lot of misinformation
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Yep. If weed isnt addicting than what the hell am i feeling?!?!?what are WE feeling?!??
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Its just a herb! herbs never hurt anyone!
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4:20 PM
<drinks hemlock>
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From my personal experience, weed is clearly addictive for me. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me or that I am somehow weak for being addicted to it lol
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If weed isn’t addictive then why do so many people smoke everyday, all day, and cannot function without it?
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:21 PM
That "not addictive" line was easy to take as a free pass to abuse
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Its weed+ behaviours in my mind. I used it to sleep. Was never a social smoker. Now i dont need weed, but i need sleep. And my brain has forgotten how to do one without the other
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Hi all!
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Good to know I am not the only one who has heard people say that!
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:23 PM
@pk for me that sleep comes back after some time. Without weed I end up ebing an early riser. My sleep feels more restful. But all that can take weeks or months to get to
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Same! Weed is definitely addictive! Usually in that conversation I make the point that ANYTHiNG can be addictive. Those who try and justify weed isn’t addictive is definitely addicted
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:23 PM
i am working on day 4 now, but twice in the last two years I made it to 6 months.
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:23 PM
<Let's not worry about whether it is addictive, we have 130,000 people who know it can be in some people, let's focus the conversation on how to not let people who don't understand get us down.>
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After a month in I haven’t been able to sleep through the night. Dreams have been CRAZY
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:24 PM
the dreams ARE tough and can be very depressing in some cases when they are connected to hard parts of reality
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I had an unexpected side effect of being off the devils lettuce and I wanted to share 🙂 My dad was having computer trouble last night and they live across the country. I spent over 2 hours on the phone getting him to install teamviewer and walking through a bunch of highly frustrating stuff. Months ago I would have never had the patience for that at all. I know this because I have failed to help a number of times and would never spend that amt of time on the phone if high or coming down from being high or thinking about getting high.
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@leaving_again i slept 12-5am last night. Longest ive slept straight in years. I woke up at 5 and went for a walk. Not really wanting to walk but more so thinking about exhausting myself for tonight
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:25 PM
but eventually I started to see dreams as good deep sleep and I am thankful. But again, it can take a month + to get there (edited)
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@Katelyn That is awesome! I'm sure your Dad appreciates your help 🙂
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hey guys, just checking in. hope you are good 🙂
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@Joon Thanks! He was high which might have made it harder but I didn;t have to be lol
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@leaving_again exactly, what I’ve noticed is I’ve been processing a lot of past trauma or difficulty situations I’ve “gotten high through”. Working with a therapist and I am learning a lot so it’s tough but definitely a good thing
4:28 PM
@pk Thats a win! Awesome
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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Hi guys, hope we're all good today
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In case you want to support your own knowledge of how addictive it is
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@Jaythrives I found a similar thing. All the emotions, trauma, anger, etc I escaped from while getting high starts coming back. Especially for those first 6 m onths.
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Yesterday was day one, I kept myself really busy and I was dead tired when I went to sleep. I’m very happy. I’ve spent years struggling with using weed to sleep and I think I’m getting better and I’m feeling better
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IT was so helpful to have DBT groups, therapy, social support, and the gym to help me get out my head sometimes when those waves of emotions came up
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That's good to hear @Roddy
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Day 14 for me and its the hardest by far - my partner gets interrogated for her social benefits for permanent disability every few years (common in the UK), and they try desperately to trip you up and get you to contradict yourself so they can stop payment. I want to smoke now more than any point in the last 2 weeks.
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Yeah, I've come to realize that I too use weed to numb out feelings, so it does all come back a little stronger in the initial stages of quitting
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@dinnyhoon resist!!
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Good morning. Day 2 now. Stayed sober and went on a run yesterday. Planning on doing the same today.
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I'm sorry to hear of your stressful situation today @dinnyhoon !
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Guys, I'm sorry I can't keep up with the conversations. I promise I'll be active soon. Setting up some new discipline /routines to the day. Busy figuring /streamlining stuff. I'm so grateful to be in a community like this. Let's all heal together. Always remember. One step at a time. Later guys! Xoxo.
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@Katelyn luckily I don't have anything on me so I'm just sat here an anxious mess - better than relapsing!
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:33 PM
@dinnyhoon it's a good time not to be stoned. Your clarity is your power in a situation like that
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:33 PM
Good to see you @chaiman 🙂
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@dinnyhoon My stash was gone and it made it so much easier. I wanted to think I had more control than I did but getting rid of it gave me the edge to get over some big humps. I;m just over 2 weeks myself 🙂
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@leaving_again you're absolutely right thank you
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You've got this @dinnyhoon!
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@Earth yeah, those are great strategies. I try and work out, ride my bike, talk to a therapist weekly, and picked up a new hobby. I’m learning how to DJ.
4:35 PM
Anyone else learning a new hobby while quitting?
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@Jaythrives I started playing guitar again after a 8 year hiatus
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No, but maybe I should
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I haven't taken up any new hobbies per se. But I am looking to get back to some of my old ones that I gave up on when I was high
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:36 PM
working on learning python scripts. Just started though, so not quite at the point of feeling it yet
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@dinodicc Yes but don't go so crazy as to discourage yourself either. I would suggest a deep dive in something you are moderately comfortable with already...or something not to hard.
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I've started learning C# because I want to become a sound designer for video games - code never made sense when I was stoned though
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@Katelyn smoking made me lose most hobbies and likes, as I've come to realize, but I'd like to start learning a new language :)
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:38 PM
In the first few weeks its good not to take on anything too challenging or frustrating. That's been my experience in the past few big quits
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@dinnyhoon you got this! Everything will be alright 🙏🏾 I’ve been there! Was a complete anxious mess y last night and had to go on a long bike right and listen to some music to try and get myself back. We’re all rooting for you
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Thanks @Jaythrives , this place has really helped me in moments like this over the last week or so, you guys are awesome
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@dinodicc try duolingo! they make it hella easy to take it a little at a time and keep a learning schedule
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tryin to teach myself solfege. my lungs and throat are hating me :p
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@dinnyhoon you’re welcome! I agree! This has been huge for me as well. Super helpful to see I’m not alone
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but it feels great, and never would have been possible, if i was smoking
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@Katelyn I'll download it later on today!
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:39 PM
  • googling solfege
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Are we allowed to post links? I have a resource for a lot of free courses for anyone trying to learn something
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Duolingo is awesome, or as they say in German, duolingo ist toll
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No new hobbies for me. Well, my new hobby is not getting high so whatever that looks like is what I'm now practicing. Lol. Also, more patience. That can be a hobby right?
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@leaving_again do ra me fa so
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:40 PM
@Jaythrives Sorry, no links. We're new so we're taking things slow with features.
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@jmcd13 haha, i feel it
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@Moderator -- Subduction how about screenshots? Lol
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:41 PM
yep, quitting itself is a big change in patterns. So I would consider it a hobby. Learning about the ins and outs of weed withdrawal is a new and surprising thing for many of us.
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@leaving_again for sure. it is comforting reading about common experiences and knowing what to expect.
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:42 PM
@Jaythrives lol, let me get Discord figured out, then we'll start adding things. 🙂
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Quitting is in itself cultivating useful positive energy and that's my main purpose for hobbies so it is just as good
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@Moderator -- Subduction np lol
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I like that phrase, useful positive energy. That is my desired state!
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:44 PM
service to others is a key part of recovery. Spending time on leaves and sorting by new is something I have spent many hours on over the past couple of years
4:44 PM
so yeah, leaves is a lil hobby of mine
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I am also new to Discord. Any tips?
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:45 PM
@jmcd13 Not yet! 🙂
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2nd attempt at quitting this week. Wish me luck on Day 1!
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you dont need luck @ottoHODL , YOU GOT THIS!
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@leaving_again I should do that more often. Although at my stage some of the new posts make me want to smoke. Especially when someone's like "I do it aaallll day and it makes me sooo calm and sooo good at everything"
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@ottoHODL this time it will stick! We're all with you, you got this
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@dinnyhoon @Ghastles thanks 😊
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@ottoHODL you can do it!!!!🙌🏾
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:48 PM
@Katelyn I hear you for sure. it's a tricky dance
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lol. I have to find a new activity to do :/ i have stress fractures in both my wrists, so cant chop anymore until they heal.... thinking of lifting weights, but its impossible to find a bench right now
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@leaving_again I just want to be like "ok so wtf is your problem then you jerkface" but I would obv. never write that out lol
4:50 PM
@Ghastles I had a short phase where I found videos on youtube on how to perform vintage dance moves like the hustle
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4:50 PM
you can try that lmao. It's something
4:50 PM
not so vintage anymore, with electro swing making it big!
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Yes true
4:51 PM
Also what a moderately impressive thing to just know amirite?
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right!
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Surprising talents are the best kind imo
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:52 PM
i am not a dancer, but I can see how it would come in very handy to have those skills. Company parties, weddings, parties, etc (edited)
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picking up partners at social events
4:53 PM
when social events are a thing again
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Yeah knowing a dance besides air humping or tiktok b.s. in this day and age is pretty impressive
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Hey guys
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Checking in before this closes. Started the day out rough. But I’m on day 3
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Hey, you guys got this :) @honestly @ladchee
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It's been a treat to be here as always. Good luck to everyone in keeping off the wacky tobaccy for another day. @ladchee welcome, you will get over the hump
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@ladchee the 3 day hump is tough but you're getting through it! Keep going man, awesome work
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Thanks guys. I’ll try to check in later
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 4:57 PM
thanks everyone, don't forget to breathe
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have a great day everyone, hope to see everyone later, and hear good news!
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! I'm happy to see you all, especially the new faces. I hope to see each of you back!
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Bye everyone, this is starting as a good first day for me :)
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Hope everyone has a good day! Thanks so much for helping me guys
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Yes breathe lots. Thanks all!
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@dinodicc tomorrow will be a good second day for you!!!
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Thank you :)
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Alright all, I'm going to close the doors and go take some nice deep breaths. See you later!
5:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
10:00 PM
Hello everyone
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Hey guys hope you’re doing well! (edited)
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Hi everyone☺
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Hey all, just relapsed yesterday after 12 days sober, trying to get back on the horse. (edited)
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Hi all
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Hit day 29 today
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I'm on day 12 and just had my heart broken today
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:00 PM
(We will be selling DogBot t-shirts and hoodies by the front entrance)
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Hi everyone! Hope we're all well
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It happens... @jzbakos you got this!
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I'll hit a full day sober in 3 hours
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Hey all, just relapsed yesterday after 12 days sober, trying to get back on the horse.
@jzbakos Just dont give up buddy! relapsing is part of the process and it can only strenghten your way if you dont break in completely ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:01 PM
Welcome @jzbakos , @wokeupnew !
10:02 PM
Welcome @Deleted User !
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Thank you!
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heeyyy evetrone
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@wokeupnew is that name a mountain goats reference?
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Thanks!
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**heeyyy everyone lol
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@dinnyhoon yes!!!
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I relapsed on my day 2....found little crumbs of weed in my place. Had had a horrible day at work, was written up and had an emotional breakdown over Zoom in front of my supervisors. But I'm trying to be gentle with myself. I've gotten to day 45 before so I can do it again
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@wokeupnew love it!
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So now I'm on day 2 again😂
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thats the spirit!
10:03 PM
I am glad for everyone who doesnt give up when they relapse!
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Thanks☺
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it took me 3 attempts to finally get a smooth sailing so far
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Oh man I'm sorry to hear that @diosa, but glad you're back and going strong again!
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and I am far away from being completely over the edge
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Hi everyone
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Thanks all! Great to be here
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Hi @AnthonyK
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@diosa sorry to hear that.You can do it again.
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good afternoon evryone
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I don't know how many times I've tried to quit over the last decade, but this is the first time I'm using my therapist and this group.
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You guys are the best✊✊for whatever reason in the morning before i leave for work i hug my girlfriend and cry. Half from exhaustion/withdrawal feelings, half because im thankful how good she is through this and dealing with me during this time
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10:05 PM
Joining the chat today I almost shed a tear for the same reason😂🙈
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What weird withdrawal symptoms have you guys experiences? I'm having whole body aches from anxiety and tension.
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@pk so glad you're here and staying strong! You're doing awesome
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Nice to see you @Deleted User , at 19 hours now?
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it brought me right into therapy because my disorders, depression and anxiety went through the roof
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@Deleted User I'm 2 weeks clean and oh man the dreams, so many dreams
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but half a year later I am absolutely feeling better now
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Hey everyone! Nice to see ya'll!
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21 hours since my last hit, probably 19-20 hours sober
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nice work! (edited)
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I had the weirdest dream last night but i cannot tell if it was a dream or i actually woke up😂
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I am dreaming weird stuff also 😄
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I'm worried because I sometimes have PTSD-related nightmares already
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Main symptom is trouble falling asleep. But I think that might also be stress from the pandemic and my job...and decreased appetite
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well those stuff returns once your brain clears up from all the thc we fueled ourselves
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4k wierd dreams
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@Deleted User that sounds pretty intense!
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@diosa yes, sleep here as well🙄slowly improving to the point i have hope i will one day sleep well without weed
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I get all my main withdrawal symptoms at night (struggle to get to sleep, crazy dreams, mad sweating for the first few days)
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@diosa yes, sleep here as well🙄slowly improving to the point i have hope i will one day sleep well without weed
@pk about 4-6 weeks at most then you will sleep better
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Same @pk a friend suggested valerian root tea to help with sleep so I might try that
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and try to work on your sleep hygiene
10:09 PM
like sleep-in rituals and stuff
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Yeah, part of the goal of getting sober is mental health recovery, so it looks like I'm going to be facing a lot of stuff.
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We are here to help you in your journey @Deleted User !
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I am fully with you as I said above it kicked me right back into huge depressions
10:10 PM
but slowly but steadily working my way out of it
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I've been using podcasts to get to sleep some nights but damn some podcasts are so interesting
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Same here...smoked for so long to forget about past trauma. But we can do this!
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@Deleted User stay strong.you can do it.
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Just keep coming back here @Deleted User we got you 🙂
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This may not work for everyone, but sometimes I pick up a textbook or some heavy reading and almost immediately fall asleep lol
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Hey y’all. I’m on day two and it’s getting hard. I’m working from home and it’s stressful and I used to come home from work to smoke at home but now I can do both at once and I let it become a bad habit. I’m really hurting rn and I could use some encouragement.
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try to relax your brain before you are going to sleep
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Reading, no screens, etc. All helps for sure
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@Deleted User you don't face your mh problems head-on when you're smoking to escape them imo, and they'll never improve unless you tackle them with a clear mind
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Also, I'm guessing a lot of people may have come across this already but there's a long post on r/leaves about dealing with the sleep issue
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😢 I feel that @Roddy
10:12 PM
I'm on day 2 as well
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@dinnyhoon yeah, I've slooowly come to realize that
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Hi everyone. Day 4 here
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Took me a while to believe it. After smoking heavy heavy indicas before sleep its hard to imagine reading will do the trick. But thats just years of conditioning myself
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An article I read a few weeks ago said: fears around the pandemic are causing sleep patterns to change and strange dreams to linger in people’s memories
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Hey y’all. I’m on day two and it’s getting hard. I’m working from home and it’s stressful and I used to come home from work to smoke at home but now I can do both at once and I let it become a bad habit. I’m really hurting rn and I could use some encouragement.
@Roddy Absolutely stop doing it! if you cant stay sober for now its fine, take your time, but absolutely have a clear distance from work and smoking buddy! its absolutely hard because... its right there! but you need to focus on your work and weed doesnt help doing so
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@Roddy you can do it!
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Yes!!! It's not easy living in a global pandemic
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@diosa I truly believe day two is the hardest day. Day 1 you’re all motivated and day two I’m already battered and ready to give up
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:13 PM
12 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
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I think we all need to give ourselves mad credit for taking this step during this crazy crazy period
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Omg totally...
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absolutely!
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I drink a “sleep tea” at night + melatonin but truth is I always had sleeping issues even before smoking weed
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Hey @Roddy ! I'm also in the same position. I was clean for a good stretch. The moment lockdown was announced and I had to start working from home I picked up a stash and spiraled into my addiction. It is ABSOLUTELY hard. But like you said, every second you cross is a harder second that you have overcome! Stay strong!
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@DL23 you got this!!! If it makes it easier/if its possible break your day up with little walks around the block, take a cold shower, etc. I know the feeling. I get anxious everytime i go home now because im so used to smoking at that time in that environment
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@Roddy day 2 was super hard for me for the same reason, but day 3 got a little easier, and then I'd built up enough progress to want to carry on more than I wanted to smoke
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@whizzita sleep tea night one last night. Best sleep yet!
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@DL23 you got this!!! If it makes it easier/if its possible break your day up with little walks around the block, take a cold shower, etc. I know the feeling. I get anxious everytime i go home now because im so used to smoking at that time in that environment
@pk I am doing such things already! ❤️ also good thing I am currently living with my parents again and moving in september, to say goodbye to all possibilities in my old environment which could lead me back
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I started 2 week ago with the tea, Im happy with it @pk and I wear those glasses to block the blue light, it helps a lot too
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For sleep I'm trying to cut down caffeine in the hours before bed, replacing my usual endless cups of tea (🇬🇧) with some camomile teas and plain old water
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@whizzita get out of my head!!! I’ve been bouncing back and fourth on the glasses.
10:16 PM
I think i’d at least make em look pretty good🥴
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10:16 PM
Lol
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That’s the best investment eveeeeer, I bought a cheap pair at amazon
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Environment plays such a big part of it for me. @DL23
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I spoke to a couple of my close friends about my decision to quit. They were all very encouraging and supportive. I told them about the lockdown and how that was making it hard to quit. She said, "We are all coping with this in our own way. If you are using weed to do it, that is fine too" (she said this in a very supportive way, I know it sounds weird now.) The funny thing is the fact that she said that was actually a strong motivation for me to decide to quit!
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Nice Joon!
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but there is good brands like swanwick
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i have bluelight blocking glasses as well, for my monitors... and changed the lightbulb colour temperature in my house to a soft yellow
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Said this a few times but if there’s anyone new here struggling with sleep, try chamomile tea
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I think imma look into those glasses
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Environment plays such a big part of it for me. @DL23 @pk I always think about how this time its easier for me to stay clean and the environment change sealed the entire deal besides my own strenght its unbelievable
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@Joon we do the best that we can with what we got
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though, mine are prescription, so a bit more expensive.... but they are super helpful imo. They also in general help against eye strain and mental fatigue from monitors
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@Ghastles its amazing how those little changes help!
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be the best version of yourself everyday ❤️
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@Ghastles its amazing how those little changes help!
@whizzita yes!!!! Im starting to find the smaller the change the bigger the impact
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Regarding sleep, the last time I quit I was so desperate to fall asleep that I resorted to taking Nyquill. This was a bad idea for me because I just replaced one dependency with another. Do not recommend if you are considering it.
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I was really grateful when I first relapsed (after the 45 days) that my therapist was so kind and gentle...they were like uhhh we're in a pandemic! You're coping however you can to survive from one day to the next
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Thanks @whizzita ! It is strange how simple words have such a strong effect!
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Natural sleep is always the best and worth working towards imo
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Sometimes we feel alone or that no one get us, but we are our worst judges
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@Joon I have a PRN (take as needed) prescription for a barbiturate. All I want to do is use that to relax and relieve my muscle tension, but I def don't need to jump from weed to barbiturates.
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:21 PM
<A reminder that meds and supplements discussions are off topic for us, for or against...>
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@diosa exactly, don't beat yourself up about it, this is a ridiculously stressful time! The important thing is that you're back here and still trying
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Thanks @dinnyhoon
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@Moderator -- Subduction my bad, I thought it was okay because of the script
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@dinnyhoon Indeed, it is about new routines, no cellphone to the bed, drinking tea, no watching tv to fall asleep, etc..
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I think it is really important to say to yourself, “this is a hard time forever, and I chose to make it harder for my own sake and that makes me bad ass”
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Self love 💕
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100% agree
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Blue light filter for phone in the evening.
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Another thing i always did when super baked is have something on tv while sleeping. I’d wake up at 2am to smoke, and the tv would be off....i’d turn it back on to pass out to
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Yes! The "night shift" feature
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I have to turn Facebook off before bed, I can be sat there for hours watching videos on that
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Tech and social media are sleep's nemesis
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Night shift is absolutely brilliant - and I think it's built into almost every mobile and desktop OS now
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It’s important that we prepare our body to fall asleep and we are not used to that anymore
10:24 PM
We are always “doing something”
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absolutely whizzita!
10:24 PM
I am still being trash at sleep hygiene but its sooo important
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Yes! I love my stupid routines lol
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Social media is designed to keep you staring at it endlessly
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I'm looking at the blue light blocking glasses online....its just awkward bc i already wear glasses and don't have contacts...so I guess I'll be wearing both pairs? 😂
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@DL23 you can see it so you can change it 😉
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Big deep breaths and slightly rolling your eyes backwards I find always helps
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Ok, strange question, but has anyone experienced a change in their BO before/after quitting 😅
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@DL23 you can see it so you can change it 😉
@whizzita 😅
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As odd as that sounds
10:25 PM
@Joon Massively!
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@Joon yeah I was sweating and stinking like crazy for about a week or so
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Ok, strange question, but has anyone experienced a change in their BO before/after quitting 😅
@Joon dumber question: what does BO mean 😅
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@diosa at night, when you are supposed to get in bed, wear them an hour before
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Have to wash my clothes at my parents house sometimes and they’d never do it before as my sweat was always a weird weed smell
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@DL23 body odour haha
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So it's not something you wear all the time when you're on the computer? @whizzita
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I never even noticed until you pointed that out, but when I run now I do sweat a lot more and I feel much better after.
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See, I had no idea about the BO thing. I'm really glad I joined this community
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When I stopped smoking weed my mile time went down an entire minute. Quitting was more effective then running every day
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@diosa they have both, for day and night. but the ones im talking are yellow/orange tinted - look for the brand swanwick but you cna find cheaper ones on amazon
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@Joon yeah I was sweating and stinking like crazy for about a week or so
@dinnyhoon Ah interesting! I always felt like my BO was stronger when I was still smoking. But I can see that the increased sweating post quitting can have an effect too.
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i paid like $15 for mine
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I was sweating weed odor for a long time lol
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My hands sweated badly for the first 2 weeks (edited)
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that was not so nice
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When did you guys get over the hump? When did it get easier?
10:29 PM
Day 5/6 I’d say mate (edited)
10:29 PM
Kept crying for some reason the first few days
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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My last time around I think after a week or so
10:30 PM
No dog, NO
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I’m doing good dog not
10:30 PM
Bot*
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day 4 for me
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By day 4/5 I was able to bin any little strands of weed I’d found
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Hey @Joel !
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I’m back Joon
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:30 PM
Only way DogBot listens is if you have cheese in your pocket.
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I knew there was a good reason to carry pocket cheese
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@Moderator -- Subduction or if you have Python
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tactical pocket cheese
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<throws toast at @Moderator -- Subduction >
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I'm scared of dogs this is horrific. Still sober blah blah blah
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@Deleted User Honestly for me it is not easy, I quit because I know it isn’t good, but it’s like cigarettes I miss them from time to time #guilty 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:32 PM
@Joon Also true. @M1NDFEEDER DogBot will respect your boundaries.
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i vape, and still miss cigs occasionally :<
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Hey all. Finished up my coursework for the day. Usually this is when I’d reward myself, but I realize that there are other healthier options.
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@ms4039 good on you!
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Glad you're here @ms4039
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How do you guys deal with cravings?
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Totally agree. It has been at least over 1.5 years since I smoked a cigarette and I still get very strong cravings especially if I see a friend smoking or I get the smell
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10:34 PM
just thinking about the smell
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Idk how @ms4039 lol Besides talking to you all
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I guess we replace our cravings with other things, phone calls, food, video games
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Just try to ignore it? Go for a walk I guess....
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@ms4039 I remind myself that the cravings will pass, and if that doesn't work I talk to someone who reminds me of why I'm doing this
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:34 PM
@ms4039 what's working for me is to force myself to do all the things I told myself were more fun while I was high
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10:35 PM
Because surprise! They're more fun when you can actually engage with them
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I've been journaling during cravings a lot. It helps me remind myself why I'm doing this.
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Oooh I like that @Deleted User
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@ms4039 taking a few deep breaths helps. I have heard that "riding the wave" is a helpful image to have in mind. Just let your cravings wash over you, tell yourself you will give yourself 5 minutes before you decide to act on your craving.
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Day 3 for me. I don't want to blaze but I do feel pretty down today. Trying to keep myself busy even though I feel like I have no energy.
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:35 PM
afternoon leavers. Day 4 in progress and going pretty well
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Today I had a really stressful time (a PIP assessment, for my British brethren) and had the biggest craving since quitting, but luckily this chat was open and everyone's messages helped me get past it
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💕 sending good vibes @ladchee
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:36 PM
We're all superstars!! We got this. Gotta roll with the punches
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thanks~ @diosa
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@ms4039 A doctor friend of mine also recommended "oral distractors" like chewing gum are very effective.
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:36 PM
@ladchee is the weather good enough for a long walk?
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@dinnyhoon good on you. Hope you’re feeling a lot better now that the assessment is done
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Do you ever feel like you can't enjoy certain music now? Like songs that mention smoking? :/
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it is teamwork, we don’t feel great everyday and is good to have people around who understands what we are going through
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That is awesome @dinnyhoon !! Super proud of you!!!
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life is more complicated than ever and they didnt even handed a manual/guide #wtf
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@leaving_again ive gone on my morning walk, (rest day for working out), studied, but for some reason I still feel like I don't have an outlet that can replace weed.
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@diosa the addiction voice in my head keeps telling me everything is better high
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Yeah....I feel that. Totally @Deleted User
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And here's me chuckling at "British breathren" fair play though @dinnyhoon 💛 (edited)
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@diosa I don't have that experience personally, but I wouldn't be surprised if music is a strong trigger! For me music reminds me pf people and relationships, so I can't listen to some songs after a breakup 😅
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I'm finally realising that "it's better when high" was the addiction talking - I still love music and food, perhaps even more now!
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I get that way too @Joon
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:39 PM
@ladchee it's a tough one to replace. Making some tea can be a somewhat ceremonial like weed and at least take up 5 mins or so
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:39 PM
@Deleted User I was struggling with that. The first few days were feeling endless and I just sat around telling myself nothing would be as fulfilling. Speaking from my own experience, the constant lie I was telling went away quickly. What day are you on?
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Making tea is a great little ritual
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:40 PM
The funny thing is, I've done more in the week+ since decided to quit (not take a break) that I feel fantastic about the decision.
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I am on hour 21, lol
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Yes for real!! I just hit day 7 and guys it's like everything has shifted perspective
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Hey me too man
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@leaving_again yeah, nothing will ever probably replace that. But I have to trust that life will become more enjoyable if I keep trying to be present and feel my feelings (good or bad)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:40 PM
Hour 21 gonna turn into Hour 2100 before you know it
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We all started at hour zero, minute zero - it's all progress and it's all worth taking pride in
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:41 PM
another thing I use to get out of circular thinking is listening to podcasts. It gets my mind off my own stuff
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@leaving_again so that explains why Im drinking so much tea now lol
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:41 PM
(Welcome @takoid !) (edited)
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@leaving_again so that explains why Im drinking so much tea now lol
@whizzita What kind of tea are you enjoying the most?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:41 PM
If you don't keep a budget, I'd recommend starting. When you can see how much money you're losing to weed every month, that hurts too lol
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I need to figure out what to do to celebrate triple figures haven't celebrated any milestones so far
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@DL23 I drink one after the meals and now I drink one of those “sleeping” teas because I was going nuts with the pandemic
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I downloaded an app that tells you your time sober and how much time and money you've saved.
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Hey guys, a little past day one clean again for me. I’ve been on and off clean starting a few weeks ago. I noticed i start to feel a lot better after a week or so without smoking but once i smoke again it’s like my brain forgets that and convinces me life is so much better high. But it really isn’t better.
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im still piss poor so those "you saved that and that amount" doesnt do anything for me 😄
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:43 PM
That helps! I neglected my budget when the pandemic started so after a few months and a stimulus check later I saw I'd spent close to $3000 already this year and was like WHOA
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Hey guys, a little past day one clean again for me. I’ve been on and off clean starting a few weeks ago. I noticed i start to feel a lot better after a week or so without smoking but once i smoke again it’s like my brain forgets that and convinces me life is so much better high. But it really isn’t better.
@critter ahh the classic trickery. You need to fight with logic over desire in this case!
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:43 PM
(Hi @critter , welcome!)
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@DL23 yeah, but being piss poor really shows how bad the addiction was.
10:44 PM
For me
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@DL23 yeah, but being piss poor really shows how bad the addiction was.
@Deleted User thats absolutely true. I am 28 and living with my parents rn again and livingin my old room is not fun
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another thing I use to get out of circular thinking is listening to podcasts. It gets my mind off my own stuff
@leaving_again I think i'm trying to avoid things that give me a reason to eject from life. and watching podcasts on youtube is something I can do for 8 hours a day. but that just leads me to feeling crappy about myself.
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If life really was better high no one would ever want to quit
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10:44 PM
It's the addiction talking
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:44 PM
I think we can all admit we didn't find balance with it
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Thank you! And yes, i feel like i need to tattoo the logical part of my brain all over to remember its the addiction
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Not at all...I can't moderate
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@dinnyhoon or we will never quit for real... this time I dont see myself smoking not even a hit
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Hey leavers! Gotta go pick up a kiddo and walk the doggo. Busy and sober day so far. I'm also starting alternate day fasting which may be crappy timing but cravings aren't so bad today
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@SeeYouNextTuesday Absolutely!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:45 PM
I'm all or nothing. I couldn't have it around and keep my hands out of the cookie jar
10:45 PM
But smoking it would leave me so miserable. I ended up navigating anxious highs for the rare good one for several years
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Exactly. I realized if I have weed around, I will smoke it. Regardless of anything. I will smoke it.
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I know how those “just one hit” ends so no more, thank you!
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@SeeYouNextTuesday you sound like my twin lol
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@jmcd13 im thinking of trying IF during lockdown too! My quitting weed is leading me to make better life decisions (improving myself is almost a new addiction)
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it will be always an internal fight and most of the time we left our smoking friends behind 🤷🏻‍♀️
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@SeeYouNextTuesday i know exactly what you mean
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Yeah, it sucks when all your friends do is smoke. And this quarantine makes it hard to socialize and find people who don’t engage
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I actually messed my lungs up to the point where I violently cough and vomit if I take even the tiniest hit...part of the reason I had to stop. So yeah I guess that's a good thing in disguise?
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:48 PM
in my mid 40's, so my weed demons are way beyond the social thing
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@diosa quitting can only mean good news for the lungs, and we all need healthy lungs, especially now
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Yes! I miss not wheezing and coughing
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I need to figure out what to do to celebrate triple figures haven't celebrated any milestones so far
@M1NDFEEDER atleast you're looking at it as a milestone, and not a millstone anymore!
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@diosa that does sound rough! But I think you will be surprised how much your lungs will recover and thank you for quitting 😇
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@diosa thats the positive thing of the situation, at least your body is speaking to you
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:48 PM
in the past decade I bet less than 1% of my toking was with other people
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Yesssss. Thanks everyone
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@diosa I just imagine you sounding like the penguin from toy story
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Goodluck to all of those on Day 1 of sobriety!
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@leaving_again yeah, actually being around people made me uncomfortable lol
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😑it's true
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He is the penguin from Toy story
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I feel that. I usually smoke and drink in isolation.
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hahahah
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Lol *she
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@M1NDFEEDER atleast you're looking at it as a milestone, and not a millstone anymore!
@Ghastles that's actually such a good point, thank you for that I hadn't realised I'd shifted on that til you said it 🤦🏼‍♀️
(edited)
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@diosa fantastic pic btw. Pokémon nostalgia
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:49 PM
@leaving_again I reached that point as I'm slogging my way into 30s lol. I would isolate to get high away from the world
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I still have bursts of anxiety but piece by piece my fear of speaking to people is disappearing, it's so liberating
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yes! All hail @diosa !
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Thanks @ottoHODL
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:50 PM
even wehn toking alone, it somehow made me feel connected to the secret society
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:50 PM
Now I'm just isolated away from the world lol
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You messed up when you changed your pic @Ghastles 😤
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I stop hanging out with all my friends, the drinkers because they wanted me to drink, even if I didnt feel like or the smokers, those dont push but temptation is big
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:50 PM
in the past two years of my big quits, I have realized I found a new secret society. - The leavers
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Yeah there aren't enough spooky pokemon references in here anymore haha
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y'all need some driftblim avatars
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If anyone is looking for online workouts/classes to stay distracted, YMCA has free workout/yoga videos online as well as live classes!
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this pokemon is spooky!
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Just messing with you lol. Oh I like driftblim! But I'm a sucker for Kanto pokemon n the Gameboy games #old
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yeah @whizzita .. once you taste sobriety, its like.... spending time around anyone intoxicated is... just boring... watching people get sloshed / high, and "have the time of their lives" in their own head (edited)
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Okay ya'll I need to bounce! Stay strong! I believe in all of you. See you tomorrow!
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But to get back on topic😅
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gen 1/2 or leave my home. jk I love all pokemon but gen1/2 fan from the bottom of my heart 😄
10:52 PM
okay agree 😄
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@diosa I get the pokemon tower theme stuck in my head every time I see your avatar and I love it
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I'm not looking forward to when the pandemic ends and I have to explain to my gaming group that I won't be embibing with them again. Ever.
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@Ghastles I’ve noticed the same thing! I barely see my friends I used to smoke everyday with anymore, they never leave the house because they’re too high lol
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PoGo has been a good hobby for those sober "I need a walk to clear my head of cravings" moments for me
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pogo turned into tinder in my city :/
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I moved into the city for university in the hope that I'd be more social but I just let the weed continue to hold me back
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I play pogo too😅 helps distract me while i walk
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not complaining
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:54 PM
@Deleted User I think you should absolutely look forward to that!
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I play neither pogo nor am I attractive enough to seriously try tinder 😄
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I don't meet up w people for raids or anything so I've managed to avoid that
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everyone's attractive to others, in their own way
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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I used to play Ingress (damn, almost wrote tinder) 🤣
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ingress was great
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Was ingress the thing that pogo was based on?
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What the map was lifted off
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yeap and believe or not I found a group of smokers when I was playing 🤦🏻‍♀️
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same company
10:56 PM
same backbone
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Oh all my stoner buddies play. Thank God for remote passes
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but I’m happy with my changes
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Anyone have any advice for my second day before we're done?
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harry potter is the same too
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:56 PM
Do something you always waited to do until you were high
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Hang in there @Deleted User
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@Deleted User remember the effort it took to get here, it'll help spur you on through the next day
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Your breath is your friend, try some deep breathing when you feel a craving come on
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@Deleted User no matter how bad it seems, day 3 will be better
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@Deleted User Make a list of your pros and why you want to be sober
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10:57 PM
Keep it closer
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It gets "easier"
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also, you're not alone. we are here for you!
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yes, "easier™"
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:58 PM
What he said! I'm certainly open for more conversation if you need to reach out @Deleted User or anyone else
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So many new people, great to see everyone. I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:58 PM
@Deleted User just be easy on yourself. Nice slow walk maybe. Don't take on anything too heavy if possible.
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You get better at dealing with it is the more accurate way of phrasing it
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Thanks again @Moderator -- Subduction
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See you guys tomorrow!
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Thanks guys!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 13/05/2020 10:58 PM
See y'all later! You have the power!
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leaving_again 13/05/2020 10:58 PM
thanks for the support leaves
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Thanks @Moderator -- Subduction
🙂 1
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See you tomorrow.
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Bye everyone. Be strong!
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Hope everyone has a good night! These sessions are so awesome and it's great to hear from everyone
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thanks @Moderator -- Subduction !!!
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Baa byeeee 🐑🐑
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Moderator -- Subduction 13/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. DogBot needs to be fitted for blue blocker glasses. He's up all night on his phone. See you later!
11:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
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Hello everyone!
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Hi everyone
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Hello
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Hey!
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I'm on hour 14. Again
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4:00 PM
I'm on day 5
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:01 PM
Hi @Deleted User , welcome!
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Day 18
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Day 2 and i feel so nauseous
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How do we structure this whole conversation
4:01 PM
Nausea here too, i usually wake and bake to beat my usual nausea, so it's much worse
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good morning everyone
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4:02 PM
day 2, @Deleted User ?
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Hi! Hour 14, feeling a lil nauseous but positive!
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:02 PM
@Deleted User Structure is not really a thing on this channel -- let us know how you're doing, reply to others, treat it like one big flowing river.
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@Ghastles sorry to disappoint 😢
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Hello everyone. DAY 7.
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I think my nausea is one of the biggest reasons i smoked weed for so long
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@Ghastles sorry to disappoint 😢
@Deleted User no bad mojo here as long as you try your best ❤️
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:03 PM
(Welcome @Deleted User !)
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@critter I struggle with it normally because of anxiety anyway. It's just worse now.
4:03 PM
Much thanks! Happy to be here!
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Anyone have a goal to stop counting days? I know its a great tool for some but i’m wondering if there will be a point where im free from this vice
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Ok
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@Deleted User same here ):
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Day3.5btw😬
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Day3.5btw😬
@pk sticking to it I see, good to hear!
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:04 PM
@Deleted User Once we get more mods we'll also be opening structured meeting channels as well, with one speaker at a time, but we're still new at this... 🙂
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Does it get easier to sleep as time goes on
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@DL23 i slept 6 hour straight last night!!!! Woke up and started dancing around my apartment lol.
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yes it does! but it takes some time.
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I’m like 36 hours in, i slept about 4 hours last night
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Cant lie feeling tired now but its an improvement. Plus its a natural tired, not induced from indica
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:05 PM
(Welcome @Ben Dover !)
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@DL23 i slept 6 hour straight last night!!!! Woke up and started dancing around my apartment lol.
@pk awesome 🥳 🥳 🥳
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@Ben Dover sleep is my biggest challenge
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I dreamt last night that I was smoking a joint with my friends. I felt so ashamed (what will I tell the group).I started laughing when I woke up.
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I made it to day 6! Whenever I think about smoking, I do some exercise. I am very sore.
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grand theft auto 5 is free on EPIC today
upvote 4
4:06 PM
if anyone needs a good distraction
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guys youre putting me to shame how active y'all are 😳
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I find sleep tea, melatonin, and reading before bed/no screen time
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I feel like melatonin doesn’t work for me, but i don’t want to take more in fear of my sleep cycle
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Its not an instant fix, but last night/this morning is the first time im starting to believe that i can fall asleep without weed
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@DL23 I think quitting is going to help my activity level, but right now I just feel yucky
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Hi there! Last smoke was 2 hours ago. Really glad I found this.
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:06 PM
👉 If you're new to Discord, you can address a specific user by typing "@" and a few letters of their name, and then choosing it from the pop-up menu.
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5 days strong!
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@poe0321 congrats!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:07 PM
Yo @Deleted User how's day 2 treating you?
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@pk working out seems to help for me, still takes a while to fall asleep
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I'm actually back to hour 14 😬
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@Deleted User Thank you! Best of luck to you!
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@DL23 I think quitting is going to help my activity level, but right now I just feel yucky
@Deleted User that feeling will go away but your activity level will rise further! I am so excited for you ❤️
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But I’ve been trying to quit for 3 days, it took me two days to actually ween off but im 36 hours now
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@poe0321 great!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:08 PM
So that's once in how many hours now?
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@Ben Dover the first days are always hard.but it gets easier with each day.
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@Ben Dover how you feelin at hour 36?
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@Ben Dover who do tou think you are, me? Lol im on the exact same thing
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:08 PM
Don't think of it as a reset!
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@SeeYouNextTuesday 38 hours
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:08 PM
Once in 38 hours. Not bad!
♥️ 1
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Smoked once monday night after a day off and hated it
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I feel fine, my appetite sucks but I’ve only been drinking water and eating good
4:08 PM
Yea once you smoke to go to sleep, you wake up in the morning mad at yourself
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Keep going! I ate for the first time yesterday!
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I went from smoking 6-7g a day to nothing within this week
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@Ben Dover at this point, eating just feels like a hassle
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Also lost 12 pounds from not having munchies
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:09 PM
Soups are your friend
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Soft food is the best
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How long does it take for appetite to return usually?
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The food has to be stuff that you can eat easily and slowly
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How did you afford 6-7 grams a day!
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@Ben Dover same boat man. The thing was i was only smoking between the hours of 5-10pm. So it was a super concentrated high that i just kinda rode out the next day
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Sup guys, day 12 squad
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:10 PM
I've been making chicken and rice soup and curries and things while I wait for a proper appetite to come back
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@Blizz i get that how do i afford question all the time
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I would buy an ounce for 150 and sell it for 220 @Blizz and i would short people lol and smoke the difference
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@Ben Dover my appetite is always shit for the first few days/week. In the past, I've used it as an excuse to smoke again, but after all this quarantine eating, I think I'd be ok to not have an appetite for a few days. haha
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I either have friends in a good place or friends in a bad place😂weed just kinda found its way to me
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Im using the no appetite to my advantage, I’m a little heavier than i want to be so it’s great if you want to diet lol
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@Deleted User when I was successful in quitting, my appetite usually returned after about a week
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I’ve quit before for 5 months, but life brought me back, and quarantine is no help
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Its crazy how everything works. The better you get the better you get if that makes sense lol. Like once appetite is back it helps other aspects which help other aspects and so on....
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But the main difference is; I actually feel like I’m living lol
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@poe0321 thanks....one thing that’s always bugged me is not being able to eat around friends/family when not high. Can’t wait to have a regular appetite again
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How long did it take you guys to get your memory back?
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The appetite comes in a week
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4:13 PM
@Blizz depends what you mean by memory, like pre smoking memory or just back to somewhat normal?
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@Blizz and when does the brainfog end?
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like memory retention, or remembering shit you did when high?
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I feel like the memory retention is pretty much normal after about a month or two
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I find “brain fog” needs actual work. Reading, talking with people all help
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Hey everyone! Just crossed the 36 hour mark. Last night was really really hard, I felt terrible, lonely, sad. But I think I feel better now after waking up.
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It depends on many factors though
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Even this chat! Everyday
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4:14 PM
I look forward to coming here:)
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@Joon I’m on the 36 hour mark too
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and playing memory games / excerdises
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@Joon congrats on making it through that! that's a huge accomplishment.
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Jeez a month or two
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like flashcards and stuff
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@Blizz the memory as in “i can actually remember what i did today” comes in like a week after
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How are you feeling @Ben Dover ?
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What are some things that your addiction told you that you couldn't do sober?
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I feel decent actually, more energy just i only slept 4 hours
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:15 PM
@Joon but you made it!
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@Deleted User sleep🙈
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I couldn’t play Xbox sober, hang with friends, sleep, eat
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Oh xbox is a huge trigger for me too!!!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:15 PM
@Deleted User the only thing I did sober was go to work. As soon as I came home it was smoke then TV, video games, naps, food
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What are some things that your addiction told you that you couldn't do sober?
@Deleted User code, write, read, talk to people, eat food, leave my house...
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I'm making a list of things I thought I couldn't do sober to try immediately
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The friends who i use to smoke weed with now do LSD shrooms and probably percs
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@SeeYouNextTuesday yes I did! I honestly just cried myself to sleep. It was a little cathartic tbh
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:16 PM
Turns out it's all still fun when you're sober lol
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I love cooking, journaling, reading, cleaning and doing yoga stoned...its pretty easy to use those "good habits" as an excuse to start back.
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@SeeYouNextTuesday same regarding sober work smoke at home. I get a little anxious going home now because my body is preparing to get high
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:16 PM
@Joon you grew a little overnight!
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@poe0321 for sure. I do that-- or, I guess used to do that too.
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The hardest part for me other than sleeping and eating, is telling my friends i don’t want to smoke lol
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4:18 PM
I’m only 20, and they don’t understand how it becomes an addiction for me
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@Ben Dover yeah, that's going to be a hard one. I have like four friends and three of them are heavy, heavy smokers
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:18 PM
@Ben Dover I have this really awful person in my life I can't easily shake who's been telling me I won't last and offering to pick some up for me. If you're serious about it, telling them to fuck off is easy lol
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Most of my friends drink more than they smoke. I wanna cut drinking out too but it's EVERYWHERE.
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I’m on day 4 and last night I dreamed my dog got hit by a car 😢 I woke up so scared
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@Ben Dover i fell you there. Im so over it though. My desire to quit is way bigger than anything else. Shame, embarrassment, friends looking at me different, etc
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Morning all
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I’m not enjoying this REM rebound man
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@georgeka me neither...I got arrested last night in dreamland D:
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What really hit me last night is, smoking isn’t that fun, it just makes everything sober less fun mentally
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@Ben Dover preach! Im just so mentally condition to think”i like weed”
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Smoking barely go time high last night, so what's the point? 🤷‍♀️
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@georgeka in the past when I had a week under my belt, it was pretty brutal, but eventually it started working to my advantage, good dreams eventually come. And regardless, even when it was a terrible nights sleep, I would still feel better knowing it was all the THC leaving my body.
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*got me high
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Is the first night off weed the worst? Or does it get worse lol
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:20 PM
Just getting started on day 5. Day 4 went relatively well. Slept a decent amount, although I did stay up pretty late before I was wound down.
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@Deleted User same. My tolerance is off the charts.
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@Ben Dover it gets worse bud sorry
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Sweeeet
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but then it gets way better
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For me, days3-5 are always the worst.
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Yea once i get past this week it’s over
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@Katelyn not looking forward to that
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:21 PM
@Ben Dover I'm ~11 days in or something and last night I woke up in the middle of the night suuuper anxious. I think I had a nightmare but I don't remember it.
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My mom smokes so it’s almost impossible to get it out my viewpoint
4:21 PM
But i move into my house June 1st
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:21 PM
@Ben Dover with more clarity away from weed, your life troubles can start to come to mind before you sleep and even when you are dreaming. So yeah, in my previous quit experience it can get worse
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So it should help a lot
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@Ben Dover my whole fam smokes and does edibles like mad
4:22 PM
I feel u
4:22 PM
I don't live with them anymore and that helped a lot
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Yeah i just kept thinking about the stupidest stuff last night
4:22 PM
Like actually tossing and turning
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but I lived with them through my first lap of grad school and I was high like right after class and all weekend everyday...such a fricking waste
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@Katelyn oh no. What did you do?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:23 PM
My mind races before bed. It's not fun but I feel like I can actually think about all the things I've put off for years
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Do any of you sleep with a fan?
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@georgeka like...about my family? or for ghrad school? lol
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What helped me fall asleep last night, is I imagined my fan noise was a waterfall
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:24 PM
I leave my window open (even in winter lol). City noise or nature or whatever you have helps
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I'm a painter and I'm afraid I won't be as good sober
4:25 PM
Which I know is irrational and ridiculous
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:25 PM
I use a fan if possible. When travelling I use a whitenoise app
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@Deleted User That's the addiction talking!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:25 PM
I'm next to a major hospital lol 😒 But still prefer the noise to the silence at night
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@Deleted User how come? woudnt it be easier to focus?
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@SeeYouNextTuesday you will find your way again
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@Mörxl I haven't painted this medium sober. Ever.
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@Deleted User Don't attribute your creativity to a leaf. You are much much more than that!
💜 1
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The Calm app has a free trial. The "sleep stories" are a game changer for me. Tons of fantastic narrators (even Matthew McConaughey does one). I like the non-fiction ones, listnening to stories about stars, space, nature....really helps. This coming from a severe insomniac who doesn't sleep except medicated.
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Clammy hands/feets normal? Ugh!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:26 PM
@Deleted User That is a dangerous lie to tell yourself! And one I think we can all relate to
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@Deleted User god yes. And the night sweats.
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@poe0321 let's meditate is totally free
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:26 PM
I gave up on hobbies because I told myself I was more creative after I smoked, but then I just sat around watching TV waiting to sober up for more "clarity." Wash, rinse, repeat
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@Deleted User you got this. i am semi talented and actually felt it was easier sober...
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Reached 1 month today
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4:28 PM
I guess I don't know until I try
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4:28 PM
@Deleted User congrats!
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I used to tell myself "X is better when I am stoned" or "doing X is super fun stoned" and slowly realized that's my addicted self.
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Thank you 🙏
4:28 PM
That hit home with me Jojo
4:28 PM
Joon 8
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@Deleted User I've used that one and I like it. I try to meditate as much as I can, and I do like guided meditation. But there's something about the sleep stories that helps me fall asleep as opposed to the guided mediations because I don't feel so much pressure to fall asleep or to focus on anything. I just listen to nice stories.
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@Deleted User congratulations!
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@Joon Exactly. I've read that naming the addicted voice helps, and at first I resisted and it sounded super stupid, but now that I gave in and did it, it does work.
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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congratulations on 1 month @Deleted User
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Alright folks, I'm going to drop off cause I need to jump on a call with fam; it's my brother's birthday! Stay strong and looking forward to seeing ya'll later in the day!
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:30 PM
@poe0321 yeah, it's a great distraction from circular thinking. That's the key. i use history podcasts of topics that sound interesting to me
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@poe0321 I've decided my addiction voice is the voice of someone I LOATHE. That way it's easier to tell them to stfu
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congrats @Deleted User That's amazing! How do you feel!
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@Sesmo same with me. I've had no hobbies for the last 3 years and my social life took a nosedive
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@Deleted User haha, exactly. The name I gave mine is a name I hate, and attributed to a terrible person. 🙂
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@leaving_again can you recommend a good history podcast?
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:32 PM
I have listened to "stuff you missed in history class" off and on for a few years.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:32 PM
@charlogazzo Oh yeah my social life died. Gotta figure out how to restart that one. I have maybe two friends left in my city and a handful scattered around the country.
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Has anyone gone to a support group for addicts? I'm afraid I'll be stigmatized for "just" being dependent on weed
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@Deleted User I really want to, but I feel the same. There are weed only support groups here, but going at 8p just doesn't work for me and that's all there is. (edited)
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Hi folks, starting over day 1 again. I need to rethink my quit plan. Having a vape pen nearby isn't helping (spouse still smokes). I have trouble after work and it was just 2nd nature to use. Disappointed today
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All we have is Marijuana Anonymous, and I'm not a fan of telve step programs
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:34 PM
I also like the podcast Dopey. It's not a recovery podcast really, but it's on the topic of all the dumb shit people have done on or for drugs, etc. It's helpful to keep an eye on how bad things can get
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:34 PM
I actually realized recently I started having problems controlling my weed use when my entire social circle scattered. I had just moved back to the States from Amsterdam (you can guess why I moved...) and within a year all of my friends left and I kind of went into what I call social shock and didn't try to make any new ones. Just filled all that extra time with weed and it took over
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@Deleted User i have a skype call appointment on friday!
4:34 PM
Kinda removes the stigma of others. I know that “its just weed” feeling
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well, i need to take off fell asleep twice waiting here 😱
👋 3
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@Deleted User that's what this is, and I guess I'm kind of the same. I'm reading The Secret Addiction and its really good. I tend to depend on books on the topics when I'm not talking to a therapist. My last session was underwhelming.
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But for me at least, and apparently more of us here....its not “just weed” lol
👍 1
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@Deleted User are you not a fan because youve tried them, or vecause of what you have heard?
4:35 PM
a lot of friends use to hate "the program" but once they started it, it changed their lives
4:36 PM
honestly, you're pretty lucky there's a MA program where you are, a lot of places dont have them at all
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FromtheFarEast 14/05/2020 4:36 PM
@jmcd13 hey today is a new day, be proud that you are working on it again! I find that with all this going on, you really have to be kind to yourself! We're only human and perfection isn't expected, effort is!
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:37 PM
@SeeYouNextTuesday volunteering can be a great way to meet some new people. I do trail work from time to time. It's a tiny time commitment, like 4 hours once in a while. However, lockdown, so that advice is not too helpful presently.
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@Ghastles I have attended AA in college. I'm pretty atheist. Steps 2,3,5,7,11,12 just don't work for me.
4:38 PM
cheers guys, feel so much better away from that addiction
🙂 1
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:38 PM
@leaving_again I gotta focus on finding a better job first! I've been desiccating at the one I have for years and it was "okay" because I could just brush it all aside with a smoke (or several) when I got home. But it's on my list! One step at a time haha
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:38 PM
@Deleted User what are your top 3 improvements or positive notes from the month away?
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Have more money, don’t sweat out a weird weed smell anymore and my life is back on track
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Hellooooooo everyone
👋 5
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@Deleted User thats fair. Atleast here, they have kinda changed their approach, from a monotheistic / organised religion base, to spirituality in general
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Hey Joel
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im sorry that its not for you
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:40 PM
@SeeYouNextTuesday I hear you. I am going to be in the job shuffle pretty soon myself. The job I am doing now ends early next year. Bad timing with the economy crash or whatever
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:40 PM
👮‍♂️ <Subduction's finger moves toward the 'let's leave it at: 12-step, right for some but not for others' button...>
👍 5
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@Ghastles that's fine, I've located secular Zoom groups based out of California that I can join
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:40 PM
Oh god isn't it the worst? I was planning on leaving soon anyway but I was furloughed and the time away showed me that life can be better
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Subduction, you ban anyone here yet?
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Morning leavers. I’m feeling cravings this morning because I’m disappointed with a grade I received. I’ve always been a perfectionist so anything below a 90 really hurts my ego. After browsing the selection from the local delivery service, I’m starting to realize that a grade does not define me. And it shouldn’t derail me from my ultimate goal of being Cannabis-free.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:41 PM
@ms4039 what are other ways you like to take care of yourself?
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<slowly backs away from @Joel and @Moderator -- Subduction >
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@ms4039 close out of the website and don’t buy the weed
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:41 PM
I have never tried 12 step, but I have learned a ton about others experience with it on leaves and on the dopey podcast. in a way even that is helpful (edited)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:41 PM
Face mask? Bath? A run?
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@ms4039 don't give in! Disappointment is normal and oh goodness do I hear you on wanting it when a grad isn't perfect
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hi everyone, hope we're all good today
👋 7
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:42 PM
@Joel Yes. People come to us at what is usually the worst time in their lives so far, so tempers can be short. But no one acting in good faith ever gets in trouble here or in r/leaves.
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Sorry, I really need to review the rules before I log on
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I'm super late because I got sucked into BotW - video games hold my attention so much more now that I'm sober
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zelda?
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I usually go out to the conservation area and meditate next to the river when I feel down. The temperature outside however, is prohibitive.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:42 PM
@dinnyhoon They're so much more interesting! FF7 Remake sober was amaaazing lol
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@dinnyhoon I started Diablo III after like 3 years and I actually care about it now.
4:43 PM
I didn't even remember so much of it so it's like a new game
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:43 PM
@ms4039 Anything you like to do around the house?
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:43 PM
@Joel If anyone breaks the rules to the point of being banned, and they change their mind and ask to come back, they are always welcome back.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:43 PM
I found myself telling myself nothing was fun without weed. I've said it here a million times, but EVERYTHING is more fun without it
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Thanks @FromtheFarEast it is a new day and I am worth as many tries as this takes. I know I can do it. I hate how easy it is to fall back on but that's the tricky part about habits. At least there's a louder and louder part of me trying to be conscious and make a new normal.
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@Joel closed the website, and as advised yesterday I let the craving wash over me.
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@SeeYouNextTuesday @Katelyn it's so great! I've loved video games since I was a kid and thought I was falling out of love with them throughout my 20s - nope, just baked and with no attention span
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I ain’t gunna break the rules
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@SeeYouNextTuesday so encouraging...
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:44 PM
🙂
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I love people’s names on this discord
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:45 PM
@Deleted User I'm not saying reaching that realization didn't suck, but finally seeing through the addiction helps keep me going
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@Joel Our parents couldn't bless us all with normal names
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:45 PM
@jmcd13 it gets louder each time I have a relapse. It's very hard to enjoy being high once you start to build up the positives of being away from it
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:45 PM
@dinnyhoon It even revived my interest in learning 3D modeling which was always on the backburner because I could never focus
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:45 PM
@Joel That really diminishes the value of my dictatorship, but okay.
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@SeeYouNextTuesday how long have you been sober if you don't mind me asking?
4:45 PM
@SeeYouNextTuesday perhaps anything truly worth attaining comes with a little discomfort
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I saw someone posted here that GTA5 was free on Epic. I’m gonna go try that out.
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@Joel for the ultra low price of $0, you can have your own awesome nickname too! Act now! Supplies are limited!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:46 PM
I'm at 11 or 12 days. I forget
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Nah I go by Joel
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@leaving_again Yes!! I kept waffling like a month ago and it was more an more disappointing every time I smoked because I knew it wasn't right for me anymore
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:46 PM
I've "quit" in the past but I never told myself I was quitting for good. This is the first time
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I have a app on my phone that tells me how many days I’m sober
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@SeeYouNextTuesday same here
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1 month 5 days
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@Joel is it I Am Sober?
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@Joel I like that it tracks the money I save too
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I have a giant calendar in my room that has "day 1" scribbled on it multiple times lmao
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 4:47 PM
The hard part is that during a bad relapse, even though i know I hate it, it can be very hard to snap back. I got lost in the fog twice since I found leaves in august 2018 (edited)
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“I will no longer base my existence off getting high” is my daily pledge
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nothing to be ashamed of @Katelyn
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:48 PM
@Katelyn I scribbled that all over my brain for years. No shame
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There are no day ones in May tho because It's been over 2 weeks 😄
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my first sober day was 30th April so it's pretty easy to check the calendar and see that I'm on <date>+1 (day 15 today! 🎉) - after May I plan to just count by the month
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I got a better read by looking at my reddit post history
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after day 30, i will be counting in 30's ish, but still need to count daily for the logging :/
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I've had so many day 1's of "moderating" myself. This is the first time I've even considered quitting for good.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:50 PM
I wonder if some people struggle with quitting because they only tell themselves they're taking a break. There's no incentive to find yourself again when you know you're going back to the same thing in x days/weeks/months
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16 days ago I posted about not being able to sleep after 4 days. 16+4=20!
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though, it will be cool to be like @Moderator -- Subduction, and be able to give the exact day even after 10 years
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the thought of moderation is slowly creeping an and I'm reminding myself that it won't work - I love Amsterdam and I want to visit again after lockdown but I don't think I'll have the strength to stay out of the coffeeshops
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theres somesthing about day 1584784 that seems more motivating than "year 10"
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:51 PM
@Ghastles I will admit that Google Home gives me some assistance with that math, as in "Okay Google, how many days has it been since July 15, 1998?"
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@Ghastles I think I'll remember this date for a long time.
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@SeeYouNextTuesday my attempts this time last year were "breaks" but then I went hard for...uh....10 months? I gotta tell myself it's over
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@Ghastles excel equation ftw
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@Ghastles that's a good point, I can see how watching that number go up so regularly is such a motivator
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:52 PM
@Katelyn It's over man!
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DONEZO
4:52 PM
I am not even compensating by drinking this time so I know it's real lol
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oh cool
4:52 PM
thanks subduction
4:52 PM
i didnt remember my date
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I have been actively avoiding drinking
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:52 PM
My breaks consisted of me telling myself I'd be bored for a little bit before jumping back on the wagon. I never tried to push myself and just kind of floated through my days counting down to the end of the break. Not an effective way to live
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@SeeYouNextTuesday well put
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The last time I stopped this long I was done with a whole bottle of wine by like 7pm. WTF, self.
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yeah I'm not a huge drinker by any stretch but I've been craving a glass of wine or pint of cider some nights, thankfully there's none in the house - that would be a BAD habit to pick up
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:53 PM
I was cut off from access for a few months several years ago and instead of trying to improve myself, I just stayed in bed moping about not being high
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@dinnyhoon gotta admit a beer or a glass of vine, has gotten more usual for me
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I drank a box of wine (classy, I know) by myself in half a week last time I "quit"
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aye, my brain often kinda runs through a list of other bad things it wants me to do instead of smoking
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:54 PM
Hey man Franzia is great lol
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@Ghastles same
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:54 PM
But not a replacement
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<beats brain into submission>
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Lol thats part of why my attempts earlier this month failed. Boxed whine, self loathing, and digging out my stash when drunk
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@SeeYouNextTuesday yeah I get that having your hand forced by being dry or whatever works for some but I think for me the mentality to want to quit was crucial
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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I am a pretty smart person but I disgust myself with how hard I try to get stupid
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@dinnyhoon that was what I needed
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:55 PM
@dinnyhoon Oh absolutely. I kept going even when it made me miserable. Quarantine was a godsend because I was smoking so much I was miserable all day and finally told myself enough was enough
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@SeeYouNextTuesday same!
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Was quarantine a wake up call for many?
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@Katelyn i think serious quitting is only possible without a stash nearby. for me and my lack of selfdiscipline at least
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WHen I start going back into the office I will be repaired and ready for whatever
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:56 PM
I mean hell even my BOSS enabled my use
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@SeeYouNextTuesday that's exactly what got me to finally quit - lockdown let me stay high all day with no end in sight, and I thankfully snapped out of it
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@Mörxl I was i nhere when Subduction was testing it and he literally told me to clean my pipes and I was like "nah i am not a teenager I can avoid resin" but guess who fucked up that whole weekend?
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@Deleted User it was a blessing for me. i know a lot of people have it hard right now, trying to quit with quarantine - but it made it way easier for me.
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What was your guys' wake up call, if not quarantine
4:57 PM
?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:57 PM
I was telling my friends I'd be quitting after quarantine and I couldn't even make it to that point. It stopped being fun. Being able to admit that changed everything
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@Deleted User break up
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@Deleted User I smoked and just sat on my fucking phone and didn't hear my partner talking to me
4:57 PM
It was embarrassing
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! I'm happy to see you all, especially the new faces. I hope to see each of you back!
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and I gained like 30 lbs just from munchies and shit
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@Deleted User I knew I wasn't enjoying it but the addiction lets you lie to yourself - I had a 'moment of clarity' when I was greening out in bed at 5pm and basically said 'look at what you're doing to yourself and your life. you gonna do something about it or not?'
💯 2
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have a good day @everyone! hope that your day's go well, and you're all back soon! Dont give up!
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hope everyone has a good day! catch you guys soon
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see you guys. stay strong 💪
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:58 PM
@dinnyhoon I had to go through that dozens if not hundreds of times before it stuck
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Bye all it's been fun. Good luck
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Bye, thanks everyone
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@SeeYouNextTuesday same dude, but we're here now!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 4:58 PM
See y'all! As always, anyone needing more chat is free to reach out in a private message!
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Thanks, all! This helped a ton! Best of luck to all of you!
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Next time we talk, I'll have 19 hours
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Thanks for the encouragement everyone
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Bye everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm closing the doors. I need to go contemplate who I really am if no one breaks the rules. See you all later!
5:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
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What's up everybody
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evening all
👋 1
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Hi!
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sup yall
👋 1
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Might participate properly and see what's going on for once and actually say hello... 👋🏻 former waker baker and all round waster here, on day 90 something sober and I like drinking Irn Bru. Also wondering what happened to those "zen" early sessions 🤔 🐑💛
🙂 3
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Hey guys. Feeling bored which is triggering
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sup guys
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Day 1 almost 2
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Hey all
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Hey guys! I've been sober 20 hours
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10:01 PM
Boredom for me is the key
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Hey everyone
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Day 1. Agaaaaain..
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@M1NDFEEDER Irn Bru just isn't the same since the sugar tax 😦
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Hello all!! Day 5 here
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day 12'r, past 3 days ive been coming home to my roommate smoking and its really starting to erode my willpower but i just gotta make it to monday when i move
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20 hours under my belt - rapid cycling between feeling great and like I got this, and feeling bored and wanting to smoke ....taking it hour by hour!!
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @camisado , welcome!
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Hey guys. Day 3 now. My SO and I have finally properly started cleaning up our apt after ignoring it for months in our haze. Feels nice to slowly have a cleaner place
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Ah, the Good times right @dinnyhoon
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@dinnyhoon @M1NDFEEDER I had a fizzy Vimto last night it was glorious
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@robboski hot vimto is the real winner
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I've found you sometimes have no choice but to ditch literally everyone around you who smokes weed nj
10:02 PM
Everytime I went bck to weed is cus of mates
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@Blizz you got this!! Remember why you quit and stay strong
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And myself of course
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@dinnyhoon reminds me of blackcurrant lemsip lol
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Hey everyone. Day 1 for me. After over 10 years of everyday toking. Terribly tough.
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Anyone got any TV recommends?
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Day 11. I thought I'd be having a harder time but after the first 5 days I feel fine. I do get bored but I got rid of all the weed in my house. I dont really feel as irritable and angry anymore. I think I use because I get bored. It's like when you get bored so you snack on what's in the house.
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@Deleted User I’m in that boat with you
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:03 PM
Hi @Deleted User , welcome!
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Thanks @katmescudi , i had to use a few beers to keep my mind off edge yesterday but im tryin not to make it a habit. urges are pretty much gone unless i smell it though
10:03 PM
@robboski atlanta and dave
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:03 PM
@robboski killing eve is fun. But sometimes it's nice to just watch something fun, easy, and familiar
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The Good Place @robboski if you haven't already seen it. All about personal growth
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@Blizz Atlanta is excellent!
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3 years of smoking/vaping everyday I'm suprised that the initial beginning days were the hardest part. My dreams are less scary. Still vivid but not unpleasant as before. I'm just feeling alot better and more interested in other things.
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Anyone else's fitness totally fucked? I am out of breath kicking a ball around my garden it's pathetic
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@leaving_again watching this, the latest episode was weird
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grats @Deleted User , its rough but it gets easier every day
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@Deleted User I'm the same but I was like that before I quit
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@Blizz i do the exact same, where i try to replace one for the other. I try to make it a goal that i am sober more days a week then I drink! so maybe I’ll have a drink or two 3/7 nights as a compromise
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Alcohol is the devil
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I'm really considering taking up diet (IF) and exercise (couch-5k) next week to replace the bad habit with good ones
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The reason why I'm quitting is because now I feel the compounded effect on my mental functioning. Does that get better?
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Do it @dinnyhoon
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Its alot easier to diet without the munchies 24/7
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It's not something you'll regret anyways
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:06 PM
I have done c2k about 4 times since I first found it way back in 2001!
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@dinnyhoon I go for 5k runs everyday, 3 weeks ago I hadn't gone for a run in about 3 years
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@dinnyhoon try investing in a kettlebell, thats whats been helping me a ton in this quarintine.
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@dinnyhoon fitness recovers really quickly
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:06 PM
My knees don't love running, but my brain and body do
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@Deleted User 10 years is probably gonna take a bit longer, but after 2 years of daily smoking, 12 days in and i have more clarity again than i have in years, the fog starts to abade especially once you get past week 1
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My knees are fucked
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@Deleted User it definitely does. It messes w my anxiety a lot to constantly smoke, just let your brain get back to normal and try to stay positive!
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I've never been fit to be honest @robboski haha, starting now at 30 seems important because it only gets harder from here
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Im daily smoker for 15 years. Day 4
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@dinnyhoon I'm same age dude haha
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I think that's the hardest thing about quitting for me. I MISS the fog. It was comfortable.
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Its so tough but i so determined to quit!
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30 ain't old though @dinnyhoon 😳
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:08 PM
Niko niko is the art of slow running and can be easier on the knees. But it looks pretty goofy.
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@pk that's amazing I'm happy for you
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@slyfri I do feel uncomfortable sober
10:08 PM
Anyone used to smoke spliffs? Tabacco and weed? The ultimate destroyer of the lungs?
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I'm 24 days in, the nicotine withdrawal is still pretty intense
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@slyfri how far are you? week 1 i def thought i missed the brain fog, but when you start to feel more clear and confident in being sober, you feel much better
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I also feel uncomfortable sober, very off
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@Deleted User tobacco+weed in a bong for me
10:08 PM
Dug myself into a deeeeep hole
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:08 PM
the fog is like a blanket. But now that I am in my mid 40's it's pretty silly to be walking around like Linus with a blanket
😆 4
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@pk thats mental
10:09 PM
In a bong?!
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I'm so lucky in that I could never handle smoking tobacco, lungs couldn't take it
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Anyone cough up little tiny black bits of tar regularly?
10:09 PM
It's disgusting
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11 days @Blizz When I get too irritable I excersize. It's hard getting the motivation but I think about the high I get from it. It's super helpful and feels healthy.
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I once saw a young American guy smoke tobacco in a bong in an Amsterdam coffeeshop, it was a talking point to say the least
😂 1
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@dinnyhoon was it me?😂
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I don't know how you do/did it @pk my bongs used to get dirty enough with just weed haha
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Ah yes the comfortable fog blanket. I feel almost naked without it.
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:10 PM
@Deleted User It's a symptom we see mentioned a lot on leaves. It should resolve soon.
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Remember you were born both naked and sober
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@slyfri sleeping is such much more rewarding now though right?
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I feel alive without it. Today I woke up depressed, cut the grass and drank shit loads of water, went from depressed to anxious to happy to sad back to happy to hopeful
10:11 PM
I feel alive
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takes clothes off
😆 3
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@Deleted User I used to be a cigarette smoker, I quit and 18 months later I quit weed But I always liked to smoke my weed alone, no tobacco
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It makes me so happy to have dreams again!
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I'm so bored trigger but can't seem to do anything
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gets removed by subduction
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🤦🏻‍♀️ 1
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@robboski for me at least it is, i actually feel energetic when i wake up now, as opposed to always feeling tired when i woke up
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@Deleted User I also mowed my lawn today, man I love grass so much
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@Deleted User been doing spliffs over a decade, with a regular exercise regimen, minor cough here and there but never seemed to really be a big problem personally
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@robboski I wish I could say yes but it's a bit hard adjusting to the dreams. It's almost exhausting to sleep.
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I slept 6hrs straight last night! Felt sooooo good but started to crash around 2-3pm
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@slyfri my nightmares are still pretty intense but occasionally I have lucid dreams again which is pretty cool
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:12 PM
@katmescudi the dreams are a controversial topic. I tend to like them too. Feels like I am getting that good sleep and my brain is working in its 'issues'
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@slyfri the REM rebound should go away soon and your sleep will go back to normal!!
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after 2 weeks the dreams are still the hardest thing to cope with tbh, I'm having dreams that really play on some deep-seated anxieties and wake up in a foul mood
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Might not be a good ideato mention more drugs, but anyone ever take mushrooms? And see the mindstate change which shows you how awful your living?
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:13 PM
👮‍♂️ <A reminder that discussions of alcohol, tobacco, meds, or supplements as quitting aids are off topic for us.>
👍 5
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I still have funky dreams. They get easier to deal with
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OK no problem
🙂 1
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After drinking my sleeping tea for 2 weeks Im sleeping waaay better. I dont have crazy dreams but I still have dreams
👍 1
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That's comforting. @katmescudi I did have a vivid lucid dream once too it was fun @robboski I definitely wont complain if I start getting more
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I haven't slept yet. I was still high when. I went to sleep last night
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@leaving_again i have weird dreams but to me they are more interesting than truly scary. I have vivid dreams all the time so i am kind of used to it, but i love thinking about all the weird stuff my brain comes up with 🧙🏻‍♀️
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@Deleted User I won't go into it because of the rules but certain experiences have led me to the internal monologue of "there you go, you finally escaped - now what?" and all I wanted was to be sober again - that was the first time I quit weed, and it lasted 4 weeks before I thought I could moderate future usage
10:14 PM
I couldn't.
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@whizzita i was hesitant about the sleeping teas as i felt they couldnt compete with indica🙄but wow do they work
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@dinnyhoon i get you man
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I can relate. @dinnyhoon
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hahaha me too, i felt those were for old ladies hahaah how wrong of me
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Anyone else just feel empty inside sometimes
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Yesterday I felt pretty empty. It wasnt bad or good. It was just an absence of anything
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@whizzita @pk sleeping tea....sounds intriguing!
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Worth a try. The tea+reading 30-60min before bed really helped me
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@critter yeah. I don't know if it's due to withdrawal or years of avoiding my mental illnesses
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on rough nights where I really couldn't sleep, sometimes warm milk helped (and when it did, I was OUT)
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I also feel like I somehow developed ADD? Like i feel weird just sitting and reading
10:16 PM
But its getting better
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I feel like my stomach just eats itself
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Its understanding sleep starts at least an hour before you actually sleep.
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The brain healing is a roller coaster for sure. It also settles
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For me sleep is like going to war. Gotta be prepared😂
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Are y’all palms and feet clammy like sweaty almost
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I have absolutely insane anxiety when not smoking weed. Longest I've gone is about 6 weeks without it and those 6 weeks I thought I'd be expelled, arrested, die all this crazy nonsense. When does it stop?
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I have ADHD, sometimes it's okay to let the mind go where it wants and focus on other things. Put the book down, do something else, and go back to it
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yeah, sleeping tea, milk but more important Sleeping Hygiene
10:17 PM
thats the key
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@Ben Doveryesssir!
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@Ben Dover YES
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:17 PM
@pk567 I have always had adhd, but weed haze helped me sweep it under the rug. Now it's up in my face everyday
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My hands just been sweating all day
10:18 PM
No matter what temperature or what i touch
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Anyone else wake up in the night a few times?
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@Ben Dover when I quit, I was sweating like hell! Its totally fine!
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My hands are sweating like a peado in a barney suit
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I was born with adhd but it isnt my fault life is kinda plain sometimes
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@robboski yep, weird as I'm used to sleeping right through
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The hand sweats were my last withdrawal to go around day 17
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I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep at 7 am @robboski
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@Ben Dover in that case i wake up
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Not thinking about that day
10:18 PM
But that night
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I dont sweat much, but since quitting when I sleep I almost soak through my clothes. It's really uncomfortable. Does anyone else get night sweats?
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@dinnyhoon @Ben Dover when I was smoking id sleep straight through but now I wake up 2 or 3 times
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Also racing heart? Not sure if that’s the usual anxiety or what
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Worth it to be tired for me to get a good night sleep the next day
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I slept from 3:30-7:00 am, but that sober sleep is way better than 10 hours of Highed up sleep
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@slyfri yep night sweats were huge for me in week 1, common apparently
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@dinnyhoon @Ben Dover when I was smoking id sleep straight through but now I wake up 2 or 3 times
@robboski i had this, and id smoke each time i woke up🙈
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@slyfri I had this, it passes after a couple of weeks
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Hey all you Leavers!
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Night sweats and anxiety totally normal
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Yeah night sweats are normal
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Why does it happen?
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I don’t get them now, but when i quit a year ayo after smoking for a while i got them
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@slyfri sweating out the toxins
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Body detoxing maybe?
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@slyfri Yes, nightsweat it's the worst part in my opinion. But for me, it was only a few days
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Lie on a towel and flip it over once you soak it
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I quit before for six months, after smoking for two years. I’ve only been smoking heavy for a month and I can easily say the withdrawal is way different
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Or be naked...
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The longer you smoke the worse it will be
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Is nausea normal from withdrawal?
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Lol (edited)
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Nausea totally normal too
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Anyone deleted all their dealers numbers? I did it today.
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How do you beat the nausea without smoking to relieve the nausea lol thats what i keep doing
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Yes, nausea and change in your appetite are very common
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I likely had CHS so I had that anyways but it ramped up
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My appetite is gone, nothing tastes good. The nausea is terrible
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Yes you can even get something called cannabis hyperemesis. Smoking more can alleviate nausea but in the long run it's making your nausea worse. For some it can take months for the nausea to stop.
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anyone have experience with a knot in the stomach? feel like I've had it for 2 weeks now, I constantly feel like I just ate a huge plate of hot wings
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:21 PM
<Subduction begins drafting unanticipated no nudity rule.> (edited)
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Tried things with ginger on @critter
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FromtheFarEast 14/05/2020 10:21 PM
If ppl are having a hard time sleeping, limiting bright/blue light has helped me a lot as well as sleeping in a cooler room!
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:22 PM
for nausea in the first days of quitting, try really mellow foods like you would eat after surgery. A little at a time
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that @Deleted User and getting rid of all your gear is pretty important to fully stopping esp if you're just starting and the urges at at their worst
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@dinnyhoon THIS, I'm experiencing it right now
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hello again everyone
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FINE I'LL PUT MY CLOTHES BACK ON 😭
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Thank you @M1NDFEEDER
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@dinnyhoon I get a similar feeling sometimes. Maybe it's the withdrawal and anxiety?
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the amount of times ive failed thinking "oh ill just save this leftover weed for weeks from now" or "i dont wanna throw away this bong, i might need it in the future" is too much
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Ugh, even the frick frackin' time is a trigger
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I've no idea what's causing it tbh but at least I'm not the only one haha
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@Blizz 100%. I found all the Times I didn't delete the numbers it was my subconscious addiction still hanging on.
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I meant ginger IN chick sorry typo. Ginger ale ginger tea etc @critter
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The physical manifestation of anxiety is often in your stomach and chest. It's like a tightness. Or a dread.
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@Deleted User yes! my first step was getting rid of all numbers and weed related items
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It was very therapeutic (safely) smashing my bong last night!
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@slyfri any tips on how to get rid of anxiety symptoms?
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But what to do, when your dealer calls pr texts you?
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I got some ginger tea, guess i should give it a chance
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@camisado tell them to fuck off
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We're all living our lives here on opposites sides of the world and we all have so much to offer and love and relationships to give. What a shame and waste it is to let a plant take control of these things
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you gotta make it as inconvenient as possible to combat when your brain tries to make excuses to fulfill those urges (edited)
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@camisado I think you can tell them you're quitting and if they don't respect that you can block them.
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It won't harm anyways @critter
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:25 PM
@robboski a good long walk with a distracting podcast can help calm an anxiety attack for me. Or bike ride
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@robboski Breathing, light workout, meditation usually work for me.
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I love podcasts
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@robboski For me the most helpful thing for anxiety has been meditation. It's not easy to get into and there is no right way to do it. Maybe sit with your anxiety next instead. Instead of fighting it off embrace it.
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Yoga or origami too!!
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@robboski There's a bunch of fidget toys you can try out too. Or chewing gum.
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:26 PM
also, try and focus on someone elses problems to distract from your own. Check in on friends and family
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I've suffered anxiety for years, it's not as bad now that I'm sober but one of the reasons I want to start running is to see how it helps with anxiety attacks
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:26 PM
drawing can be relaxing. There are some good beginner exercises online and all you need is a pencil and paper
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Any chance you slam caffeine? @dinnyhoon
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@dinnyhoon That's great! I got back to running yesterday!
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@leaving_again its 10:30pm here so exercise is not an option @slyfri I have tried meditation but its just too hard to sit in a room with others and do it
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@M1NDFEEDER I drink tea like my life depends on it, so yeah I guess
10:27 PM
@M1NDFEEDER please don't tell me I need to give up tea
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Ronnie o sullivan, the greatest snooker player of all time said he was depressed and smoking and hated his life. One day he just got up and started running. He said it felt like he was just running away from all the bullshit and he kept it up everyday. Running is so important to fighting depression and low state of mind
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:27 PM
People who have been here awhile know I recommend a book for anxiety -- Feeling Good by David Burns. It's a cognitive behavioral therapy program you can do yourself, and I found it super effective.
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I didn't really like spicy food before I became sober. Sometimes it's nice to sweat it out
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You can meditate by yourself, simply observe your breath. Use your senses to keep yourself in the present. It feels weird at first but it can become a useful tool.
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There's also guided meditation apps like Let's Meditate, which is free
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:28 PM
yoga with adriene on yourtube. She has some videos specifically for anxiety
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@robboski you dont need to sit with others. And theres no pressure to do meditation "right" It's about sitting with yourself as you are. I use the headspace app they do have some free courses you can try. I like it because it's not about discipline. It's about acceptance.
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:29 PM
meditation for my adhd brain is a bit like trying to put a cat in a bathtub.
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Sorry but... Caffeine absolutely creates anxiety and tea has it in... See if reducing it helps. I cut out coffee and I'm just so balanced now @dinnyhoon
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@slyfri ah I mean when I'm sitting in a room watching TV with my housemates and the anxiety comes on strong
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I'm ADHD as well. It's not like you are trying to force anything. You have to be patient and gentle.
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Im struggling right now. Day 5 and the cravings are bad. Got on here in the hope of someone talking me down from going and hitting my oil pen, which is the only thing that seems to be on my mind. Any tips?
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@M1NDFEEDER yeah I'll try and start, maybe by replacing every other brew with a glass of water at first
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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@Levi smash the pen
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@M1NDFEEDER any tips for giving up caffeine?
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:30 PM
random internet surfing can be a huge anxiety trigger.
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:30 PM
Hi @Levi , welcome.
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@Levi I know that feeling, it's super overpowering! Take a few deep breaths and try to distract yourself?
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Yeah taper it! Don't go cold turkey. I used to drink 15 coffees a day and cold turkeyd it (edited)
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:30 PM
hey guys
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@M1NDFEEDER There are soooo many teas without caffeine.. try rooibos for example
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Not pleasant
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@Levi just make it 2 more days, and it gets 10x easier. Day 4 and 5 can be some of the toughest for the urges
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I second @Deleted User
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@Levi you should try and get rid of the pen
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:31 PM
guess im doing well because i forgot to check in
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Thank you guys. The accountability i feel from you all really helps me in this 🙂
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I only drink caffeine now before midday have zero anxiety and sleep like baby
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I gave away my pen and carts
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:31 PM
Is it your pen @Levi ?
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:32 PM
@Levi working on day 5 here too. What are 3 reasons you wanted to quit?
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm gonna give this a go from tomorrow
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I gotta head out now. Hope everyone has a great day!
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@M1NDFEEDER funnily enough my other half does that to help her sleep, she switched from tea to redbush to avoid caffeine after 12 - might try that once I've got the brew numbers down a bit
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hey guys, just checking in. reached double digits today. interestingly it was the toughest day tho.
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:32 PM
if you use the pen today, how does that play into your quit reasons?
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Taper taper taper @robboski it's SOOO worth it. I drink decaf now too. Don't miss it
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@Mörxl congrats!! What made today tough?
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I’m really proud of everyone whose made it over 3 or 4 days. I smoked like nonstop for ages because “weed is not addictive”. 🙄 I just want to feel okay without it.
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@M1NDFEEDER I drank like 3 coffees and 2 teas today; so tomorrow like 2 coffees and a tea?
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I’m proud of all of us!
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10:33 PM
'dude it cures cancer'
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"weed is not addictive" is the common catchphrase of addiction sadly
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@leaving_again ur right. I quit because I was supressing every one of my emotions with it and just going throught my day like a zombie
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1 in 4 people get addicted tho
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@amelia The "weed isn't addictive" thing is such a lie
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:34 PM
@amelia in time. keep going and you're going to feel so much better
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Sounds like a plan @robboski don't make it horrific. And try have it earlier (or cut the later one out 1st) trust me, game changer for me
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@Deleted User thanks. im not sure. generally a bad mood i woud say. met a good friend and opend up about my problems for the first time in person. that defintily helped. (edited)
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@amelia keep it up, you're killing it!
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@Mörxl that’s big!
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Thanks guys. I lurk a lot and never talk but knowing others are going through it helps a lot.
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talking through your shit definitely helps, as I'm discovering by coming back to this chat every day (I was in a horrible mood before the chat opened tonight and now I feel good!)
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Don't lurk no one bites
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@joon drugs aren't bad man. It's our relationship to them
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There is a nudist here though
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do nudists bite?
10:36 PM
that seems dangerous
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:36 PM
idk if this is allowed but anyone that wants to talk without getting lost in the flow of this chat, shoot me a pm
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:36 PM
Jury is out on DogBot biting, but he's new..
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His face scares me
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:36 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction is this discord thing the first time you have tried to get a live thing going with leaves? What led to the decision to start this up?
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I'm checking out for now guys, ciao for now, good to chat to you all 😊
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have a good night @robboski
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:36 PM
I wrote his code myself, so honestly anything could happen.
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Good luck with the caffeine taper @robboski
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Anyone play an instrument and notice how much faster and smoother you are when off grass? Goes for anything really, sports included. Your reaction time is 100x better
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I've injured myself multiple times playing soccer high 😞
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@Deleted User yyyyep, I gave up guitar practice years ago because I was awful at it, turns out I was just stoned
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I'm better at video games
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:38 PM
@leaving_again Yes, first time. I'd put it off for a long time because there wasn't much call for it and I knew it would be a lot of work to get set up right, and I was right about that, but a lot of people were losing their live meetings so I felt this would be the time.
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One thing I’m really glad about is things are less dramatic, and I don’t feel as sensitive. When I smoked, I’d read the news or reddit and feel hella anxiety, but now I see it’s not nearly as big a deal as I was making it out to be in my mind
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank you
10:38 PM
Haha @dinnyhoon relatable
10:39 PM
What about writing/art? I wonder about the source of my creativity...
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:39 PM
@Deleted User Thank my wife -- she's been a leaves widow lately... 🙂
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No creativity is lost by stopping weed
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@Blizz absolutely, the panic from the first couple of months of covid news was unbearable
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Weed does not make u more creative. Change my mind
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10:39 PM
@Deleted User I'm scared of losing that too. I haven't even tried painting sober yet
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10:39 PM
Bullshit so it is
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Can I talk about something that bothers me?
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Yes
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:40 PM
weed makes me think about being more creative... but then I never get around to it
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I went to the weed store for some CBD and the guy that's works there told me about how his wife had a bad experience and stopped smoking weed. He told me he was dosing her food and she hasn't noticed yet. He wants her to smoke with him. I laughed awkwardly and left but I havent stopped thinking about it
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Facts @leaving_again
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:41 PM
that's horrible
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@slyfri WTF?
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@slyfri wow you were right to be bothered, that guy's abusing his wife
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:41 PM
that's illegal right?
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@slyfri what a weirdo
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This is illegal, yes
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Yeah I'm very uncomfortable about it and I wish I could do something now
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What is wrong with people
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"Weed makes me creative" is another thing that the addiction is just trying to convince us about
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And def abuse
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Is he the manager?
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I wish I said something to him about how it's not right but I didnt..
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If not you could talk to the manager privately about what he told you
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Let me just casually admit to drugging my partner to a stranger
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It's not your fault! You don't have to do or say something
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I dont think hes a bad person but when he told me that so casually it was kind of surreal. (edited)
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@slyfri don't worry about what you did or didn't say - a dickhead like that probably wouldn't have listened
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:43 PM
👮‍♂️ <Remember that we can't control outside factors. We're here for us today. Let's keep the focus here.>
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Wahh I forgot about today's chat and there's only 15 mins left
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:44 PM
some guy i worked with once brought weed cakes and shared them with others in the office without saying what it was
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Okay sorry you are right
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I need to head out now! Hope everyone's day goes well!
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Do any of you have partners who smoke still?
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:44 PM
in his defense, i think he called them magic cake, but people didn't get what was happening
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i always justify my addiction by saying it gives me energy to clean, do homework, be creative. but i spend so much time smoking i don’t have time for any of that anymore
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Stay strong, and look forward to seeing you'll tomorrow!
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My partner takes edibles sometimes but not often
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@Deleted User sure do!
10:45 PM
Here in fairness, I believe tthere needs to be some sort of structure to these convos. You cant deny they're a mess
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@Deleted User my partner still smokes 2-3 joints a day medicinally, she's been awesome in keeping her stuff (and mine) from me and helping me quit
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It's a new thing though give subduction chance!
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10:45 PM
There are rules at the top
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Howdy all
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:46 PM
yeah, good old chaotic irc style chat is not for everyone
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@Deleted User mine keeps it locked away
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(Perhaps it's missing the politics one I fell foul of though 😳)
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I find this super helpful, I keep my eyes open for little treasures within all the chaos
10:46 PM
It just getting started it's understandable
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I'm a fan of the 'organised chaos' in here, I feel less on the spot, and tagging people can keep my conversations going
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:46 PM
*<Subduction feels personally attacked> 🙂
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I’ve also found animal crossing is a great way to spend hours doing something and not smoking! lol
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@Moderator -- Subduction you're the best!
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Now if only I could get my hands on a switch
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Arm the attack dog bot
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I suppose, I ain't got any ideas and it's better than nothing
10:47 PM
Just saying how I feel
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Or I'll borrow the Queens Corgis again
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:47 PM
@Deleted User I agree. As soon as I can get our mod recruitment situation fixed then next step will be structured meetings with one speaker at a time. This will stay up for those who prefer it
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target near me always has some in store. I think gamestop has some lites
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@Deleted User I think you're right though in saying there's demand for a more structured chat, I personally just feel at home here in the chaos
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I'm a chaos demon so
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I kind of feed the chaos, sorry
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:48 PM
@Deleted User i sort of agree with you, but then again it's nice to have quicker feedback than the reddit threads
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Thats okay it helps me to know I'm not alone at least
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@M1NDFEEDER arnt we all to some extent? otherwhise we woudnt be here 😆
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:49 PM
@Deleted User We already have the scripts written by a volunteer for single-speaker meetings, so we'll be ready to go soon.
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reddit gives me enough of a window after posting to think that I'm talking out of my arse and immediately delete my post
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:49 PM
thank goodness for the leaves volunteers
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Relatable
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Yea thank you to volunteers appreciate it
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Having people to talk to makes it soooo much easier to stop urges in their tracks
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:50 PM
i had been trying to get away from weed for decades. Leaves finally gave me something to anchor onto
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Read my posts sometime that'll reassure you @dinnyhoon
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:50 PM
@leaving_again Ab. So. Lutely.
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 14/05/2020 10:50 PM
I'm off for the night. Stay strong everyone
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@katmescudi I'm so glad you are finding this chat so helpful. It's been good *for me too. I think it's really wholesome we can all support each other as internet strangers with something in common (edited)
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It’s nice to look forward to the chat tomorrow as an anchor
10:51 PM
Very grateful
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Leaves makes me feel so much less alone because everyone around me acts like weed addiction isn’t real
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cya guys, hope to see you all check in tmw, @Jay just 2 more days till we're at 2 weeks
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:51 PM
addiction, not addiction, it's semantics. Those of us that end up in leaves know it's a problem
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@Deleted User it definitely feel validating and provides a lot of accountability
10:52 PM
Weed addiction is alot more difficult because of this fact @katmescudi
10:52 PM
@Deleted User absolutely
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:52 PM
years of thinking "it's not addictive, so I must not be addicted" problem solved!
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"Its just weed" is something I'm tired of hearing from all my peers.
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I envy those who just smoke occasionally
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We can call it whatever we want but if we don’t feel right about it, we need to solve “the situation” ☺
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I'm calling it a night, good luck all, stay strong. I best put some clothes on it's getting cold. Cept the bra who needs them in lockdown? 🤷🏼‍♀️🐑💛
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And its no big deal
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My friends will still show off their weed products and things to me and invite me to smoke. I tell them I cant and honestly I'm proud of myself for not giving in.
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:54 PM
listening to the dopey podcast, I have heard people say that weed has been more of a problem to get away from than heroin. Partly due to it being more accepted
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Hey @whizzita I ended up buying a pair of those tinted blue light glasses, I can't wait until it's delivered
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@slyfri I’m proud of you 👍🏽
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Quick update. I have smashed weed for the past week, i broke and then broke again but today is day 2
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10:54 PM
Sorry for being MIA
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i call it a night too, wish you all the best, stay strong guys
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@diosa Oh yes, I will wait for your feedback 🙌🏽
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@Enzo congrats on day two!!
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Goodbye all! Thanks for the support!
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@Enzo awesome work making that decision again and making it this far! first 2 days are the hardest imo
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Thnak you kindly, i hope to continue, i had like 17+ days nearly 3 weeks ago, damn i would have being over a month now.
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My day two starts in 3 hours
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:55 PM
that dog is a real stickler
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But ill try again, ima get there. Keep trying
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@slyfri last time I quit I had zero contact with my weed friends then randomly one rings me while I was doing so well and I caved. So I am adament that unless you ditch everyone you can't. Certain people can but not many
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@Deleted User we'll be here tomorrow to help you through day 2!
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:56 PM
@leaving_again First disciplined golden retriever in history. (edited)
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:56 PM
@Deleted User my recent relapse was with a old friend i had not seen in a while. And they didn't push it either. blew up 6 months
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@leaving_again it's so exciting then after you're like shit
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Boyfriend always tell me: “Misery breeds misery” and I wasn’t happy the first time he made that comment but at the end I stop hanging out with my pot friends
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@Deleted User I think i can do it. They were my friends before they were my weed friends. We all kinda got into it when we turned into adults. Also because of my health issues I HAVE to stop. Makes it easier to turn down when you have health consequences looming over it
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:58 PM
and then that shit feeling leads to trying to cover it with more weed. repeat for a few more weeks. Hard to get back out of it
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. So many new people, great to see you all. I hope to see each of you again tomorrow!
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The temptation isnt worth it and Im the only who can take care of myself 🤷🏻‍♀️
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:58 PM
thanks for the chat leaves. have an awesome clear headed night
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have a good night everyone - hope you all sleep well and have lovely dreams!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 14/05/2020 10:58 PM
Oh shit I was late. Well hi/bye everyone!
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@leaving_again 1000% @slyfri I mean if you think you can, but what's more important, your health or friends?
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:58 PM
or day depending on where you are
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Three out of four of my friends have a problem too, but don't want to resolve it
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leaving_again 14/05/2020 10:59 PM
some of my toking friends are also my biking friends. its tricky
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If they truly dont stop I think I'll have to find some new friends 😅
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It's easy get a new job
10:59 PM
That's how I met new friends
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@slyfri Start doing new activities and meeting new people
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Maybe when the rona is over
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Those people will still be smoking in 5 years
10:59 PM
Trust me
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Or meet up dot com
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I dont mind that they smoke I just wish they wouldnt pressure me
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. Crazy session today! See you all tomorrow!
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Byebye (edited)
11:00 PM
<3<3
11:00 PM
Thanks friends
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Cya thanks again every one I'll cya tomorrow
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goodnight all
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Moderator -- Subduction 14/05/2020 11:00 PM
!lounge11
11:01 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
11:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
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Hi guys, I’m Izzie, I’m on day 1 and feeling okay!
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hi everyone, hope we're good today
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hi @fizziebanta , welcome!
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Morning everyone, day 3 and I'm ok besides my emotions being a bit messy
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Hi! I just passed 38 hours and I'm goin through it
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Hey hey hey!
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Morning all! Day 2 here, feeling okay!
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@Deleted User you made it through the night! awesome work!
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Day 3 for me and I definitely feel better than day 2 😄
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Treat your 'weed brain' like a parasite, and make it a personal challenge to kill it
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Day 4! Nights are hard...
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What's up everybody
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Am I allowed to ask if anyone else suffers from annabinoid hyperemesis syndrome?
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I never want to go through Day 1 again. It's keeping me going
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4:03 PM
I'm on day 5
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Nights are indeed a bit hard @ThisGuise
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:03 PM
Welcome @Zoltan , @ThisGuise !
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I'm at day 16 and it's much easier to get to sleep now, the dreams are another story
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@Deleted User Wow that really is profound!
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Anyone else's throat so much clearer?
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Day4! This process truly is a roller coaster. Yesterday morning I woke up after 6 straight hours of sleep and had a solo dance party in my apartment because i was so relieved to finally sleep. Last night i slept maaaaayyybe 2-3 hours. Still optimistic! Plus im sooooo fcking exhausted today im hoping it translates into a better sleep tonight
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:04 PM
Welcome @Crispyo2 , yes, that's fine
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@Deleted User yep I no longer cough myself to death in a steamy shower, which is nice
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dream felt like and lsd trip last night lol
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Yeah, i think I had a nightmare last night? Haven't had one in years
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I get terrible nightmares after quitting
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The dreams are crazy vivid. I was in noel gallaghers kitchen rolling a hoint
4:04 PM
Joint
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@ThisGuise yep the nightmares suck.
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Good morning! today is my official 2nd day sober. Did not sleep last night at all and lotsa cravings 😩
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the dreams I'm having aren't really monstery-terrifying nightmares, just past anxieties and tough times in my life coming back in weird ways
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Honestly I haven't had too many cravings so far
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@critter you're getting through the toughest part - it all improves from here on out
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:05 PM
How are you feeling @Crispyo2 ?
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I think those crazy dreams are just things you've been avoiding confronting
4:05 PM
atleast for some people
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Hey @critter! You're getting through the hardest parts, it's not going to be easy. But we got you! Stay strong!
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I actually couldn't think of anything worse than having a smoke right now
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thank you guys ❤️ it’s hard but it’s a lot easier knowing there are people here that get it
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Personally I just enjoy the ritual of getting high at this point. Seconds after taking a hit I wish I never had.
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I actually couldn't think of anything worse than having a smoke right now
@Deleted User so weird wanting to do something and not wanting to do it at the same time😂🙈
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now that I actually know how sobriety feels day-to-day, I don't think I'd even enjoy weed anymore - I can't believe I smoked that disgusting pipe every day for so many years (edited)
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@Zoltan That was pretty much my experience 90% of the time I smoked haha
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Heyy Everyone! Restarting again this week after giving in last week. Definitely taking it more seriously this time
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I would start smoking just out of pure boredom so that probably to me not craving it now
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See its weird for me, Ive gone off it for weeks at a time without even thinking about it. Im actually convinced I'm not addicted but instead it becomes a habit. It's so strange and circumstantial or maybe I haven't a clue what I'm talking about who knows
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@dinnyhoon does the hot showers make you cough/ nausea??
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I quit 5 years ago but am continuously trying to help others through it. Just found this group and will be recommending it to people looking for something like this
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:07 PM
Welcome @Shazz !
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I used to say i want addicted. But i couldnt stop no matter what. Always a justification.
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I'm having a real hard time staying busy. Lots of body aches and fatigue makes it hard
4:08 PM
@pk yeah you're right I wouldn't be here if I wasn't
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Im 60 hours in, first night it took me three hours second night only about 45 minutes
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@Ben Dover I used to cough heavily in the shower every morning to the point where I was seeing stars - showers are much more relaxing now, and the intrusive anxiety-ridden shower-thoughts I get when I don't have a screen to distract me are fading
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good morning @everyone
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I can’t stop like sweating, not profusely but the kind of sweat when your nervous
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:08 PM
That's great @Crispyo2 -- 5 years is terrific, and coming back around to help the community is even better. 🙂
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@dinnyhoon i took a hot shower today and almost threw up
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Hey hey hey @Ghastles !
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seeing all the same names here every day is incredibly uplifting, you guys are all doing awesome
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@Crispyo2 thank you. I hope to one day come back and support people here once i’ve lost this vice fully
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:09 PM
working on day 6 now, headed into the weekend. Usually those can be tricky, but the lockdown has really taken away the power of the friday night
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Oh yeah, i took up duolingo like someone suggested the other day so that's going ok as well :)
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@Ben Dover your lungs should improve over time - mine felt worse before they got better (I guess due to healing?)
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@dinnyhoon it’s not like my lungs i just get sick and cough and then get super nauseous
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@dinnyhoon It could also be the withdrawal which can cause a feeling of tightness and pain in the chest.
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@leaving_again Friday night used to be game night with heavy smoking. We'll see if I can even game with that group when quarantine is over
4:10 PM
@leaving_again yea I agree. We are by ourselves also without external influences
4:10 PM
This could be a blessing in disguise
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day 23 here, feeling great, how's everyone else doing?
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Sometimes randomly my heart will start beating like I’m running from the cops lol
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@Ben Dover anxiety attacks? (edited)
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Yeah my family has big history of mental illness
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@Ben Dover sounds like a panic attack to me (although I'm completely unqualified)
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I have a very mild but very steady anxiety i’ve been carrying (edited)
4:11 PM
Nothing i cant control but its still there
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Emotions all over the place as of now, but other than that I'd say I'm doing fine @Ghastles
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My anxiety usually comes at night time idk why
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Yeah my anxiety out of control, it’s like when i was high they just saved up all my anxiety and gave it to me later
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Did anyone else have a mental illness diagnosis before they started smoking?
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@Ben Dover yesterday I was out in the park sitting in the sun when out of the blue my heart started hammering and I could feel the pulse in my ears. Thankfully it passed quick.
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@Ben Dover lol so true
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@Ghastles I quit everything at once, nicotine, weed, carts, and heavily processed food
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my anxiety has been around for years, it's a symptom of my ASC - it's a lot less "in-your-face" now that I'm sober though, so I feel like I can take more steps to manage it
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My body’s probably wondering what’s going on lol
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@Ben Dover wow, that a lot to go throughat once
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:13 PM
the anxiety waves start to settle week by week after the first.
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Is anyone quitting cuz they have CHS?
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Same. I cut caffeine not even by choice. I just have no desire to have it.
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@Ben Dover that's some iron-man shit, well done dude
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My lungs are really sore today, that must be them repairing themselves. Like when I touch my chest it hurts slightly all over the lung area
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Yeah caffeine too none of that @pk
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I try to visualize my brain as a separate entity saying “please stop I need a break”
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oof. You're in for a tough few days, but you can totally do it! man.. I wish i was strong enough to do that all at once! great effing job @Ben Dover
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I only take one thing at night for sleep, can’t mention supplements but im sure y’all can guess
4:14 PM
But it helps
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I read last night “you are a mind with a body, not a body with a mind”.
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I’ve dropped from 225 to 211 this week
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4:15 PM
I look better than i have in months
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That helps me kind of disassociate my thinking from my physical symptoms
4:15 PM
My mind want this so bad
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@pk what really did it for me was, it’s not that i have more fun when I’m getting high, it’s the fact that when I’m getting high it makes my brain think sober is less enjoyable.
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For me it was more like high and sober blended together
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I read that most substance abuse comes from childhood trauma. Does anyone think this is the case?
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@Ben Dover for me even being high became a burden. Like id be packing bowls after bowls wondering why i was doing it
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I used to think there was a stale wooden-ness to sobriety and I couldn't fathom how people led sober lives. My time since quitting has shown me that sober life is awesome and I was previously an addict making any excuse to keep smoking
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Could be, everyone has their reasons @Deleted User
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My moms a big smoker, she was doing yard work yesterday, asked me to roll her a blunt so i did(she doesn’t believe in marijuana addiction) but even being around weed makes me sick now
4:17 PM
It made me sick to my stomach rolling that lol
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@Deleted User something like 90% of people with PTSD develop a substance abuse issue (edited)
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@Deleted User I’m only 20 so i would say in some cases yeah
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when i first quit, i was super emancipated, started excersize day 1, and now i actually have a core, some muscle on my arms, and ribs arent... as... visible. first few days, doing cardio, i could hear my heart in my head lol... was playing basketball, and thought i heard someone dribbling down the street towards the court... nope, just my heart exploding. now can go for the same amount of time with barely raising my hearteate. (edited)
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@Deleted User not sure about everyone else but I grew up with a pretty big undiagnosed learning condition and it definitely made my life rough, and it was super easy to turn to substances when they came around
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@Ghastles cardio is a goal of mine for sure
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I have PTSD from something that happened when young. It's interesting how situations can rwally fuck you up at a young age and affect your adulthood. But at the end of the day, we're adults now and we have to take responsibility we can't blame trauma even if it was the root of the issue
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:19 PM
👮‍♂️ <A reminder that we don't really get into the general science of addiction here. Let's keep the focus on ourselves and how we stay quit today.>
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Half my immediate(siblings and parents) died before i even turned 20 this year, that’s what made me start smoking again, to just ignore my problems. So yeah it depends person to person @Deleted User
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Ok, focusing on myself, PTSD definitely cranked my use up to 11
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Anyone listen to FRIENDS by J Cole? Song about weed addiction
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Therapy to address the use and PTSD is definitely helping
4:20 PM
@Ben Dover sorry to hear that man I hope the best for you I really do
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I also broke up with my girlfriend of a year, so that didn’t help my case
4:21 PM
@Deleted User things are well, I’m in college on the right path for me
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@Ben Dover you should be really proud of yourself for taking these steps to improve yourself with all that shit happening around you, so many people spiral into worse things when trauma hits
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Music is pretty much my life and for some reason i’ve been listening to bluegrass jail songs😂🙈alot are about being put in prison and being forced to sober up.
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@Ben Dover good stick at it. I'm the same I'm second year in uni
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@dinnyhoon yeah it’s just me, mom and my brother, moms been smoking weed since i was born, and my brother is in rehab for opiates. I just can’t allow myself to go down that road
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uni was a huge factor in my decision to quit - losing the campus lectures and general community contact made le lose focus in my work, and I was smoking all day and watching myself fall behind (2nd year here)
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Hiii still sober over here. Clothes on today even though it's not in the rules YET
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All my friends are doing harder drugs now stuffs crazy
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Music is pretty much my life and for some reason i’ve been listening to bluegrass jail songs😂🙈alot are about being put in prison and being forced to sober up.
@pk any recs???
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My friends gave me the whole “you’re over reacting” talk last noght
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As someone whose tried a hard drug, definitely do not recommend
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@M1NDFEEDER dont know if I should be making happy or sad faces to that
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@pk I say this a lot, but tell them to fuck off
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@pk to them maybe, but for you it's serious and you know it's serious
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@pk my friends just say “bruh just smoke less”
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Go with discust @Ghastles
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Music helps a ton for sure I know Pink Floyd is associated with Stoner culture but Dark Side is so therapeutic
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Right now.....anything by billy strings! Or a song called “things in life” by don stover are my staples right now @ThisGuise
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The problem is i can’t use marijuana in moderation
4:24 PM
So i shouldn’t use it at all
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4:24 PM
They don’t get that
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@ThisGuise also mac demarco
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Because they don’t realize they’re addicted yet
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The problem is i can’t use marijuana in moderation
@Ben Dover i cant do anything in moderation😂🙈
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you don't need drugs to enjoy Pink Floyd (but you do need Pink Floyd to enjoy drugs)
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I had a dream about the girl of my dreams, don’t remember who the dream was about lol
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I received my dissertation results yesterday and because it went well all I could think of was that I deserve a joint to celebrate
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Basically a nightmare
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More of a Fleetwood Mac fan here
4:25 PM
I'll see myself out
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dire straits here
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Rumours is a top 5 of all time album
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I received my dissertation results yesterday and because it went well all I could think of was that I deserve a joint to celebrate
@georgeka but I’m still on day 5 💪🏽
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@georgeka lol when I got to a month off weed the last time. My brain said 'well done lets celebrate with a joint'
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Brothers in arms! @Ghastles mark knopfler is the reason i started playing (edited)
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@Deleted User I did the same thing and continued to smoke daily for 2 more years
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I need to jump in on a call, so I'll see all you lovelies later today! Have a fab day everyone!
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@georgeka the problem for me is, my brain wants to celebrate everything with a hit
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oooh, awesome @pk !
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I’m bout to go running, I’ll see y’all at 5 pm!
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4:27 PM
Keep going it only gets easier!
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Bye :) @Ben Dover
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Having serious thought about starting a little blues band or something. I’ve always wanted to but even 4 days sober i feel motivated to take action
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@pk you should put up adverts on Facebook, even post flyers round the town
4:28 PM
I did that and got mutliple people ringing me asking to forma. Band
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@Deleted User @Deleted User yup celebrating not smoking with smoking is how I end up tempting myself back into it
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the new-found motivation is my favourite part of being sober - I'm planning diets, running, exam revision, anything that felt out of reach as a stoner
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@pk i love Knopplercs voice (edited)
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hey guys, todays day 11. deleted my dealers number in the morning - theres no way back now i guess
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Good job @Mörxl
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I wish my motivation hadn't ran out after a month 😕🤷🏼‍♀️
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@dinnyhoon me too! I work out so much more now and eat a lot healthier!
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I am very anti facebook/social media. But i live in a wicked music area of the city. Part of it might be just saying hi to others at venues/guitar shops ....if they open up
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I deleted the app my connection uses for business
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@M1NDFEEDER lets start a virtual band!
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Haha zoom concerts?
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yes!!!
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@Ghastles not to go full circle but knopfler actually has alot of bluegrass roots in his olaing!
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If ervyone here hasn't already deleted their dealers numbers, Snapchats and possibly Facebook
4:30 PM
Do it right now
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:30 PM
<Subduction's finger moves slowly to the keep-it-on-topic button>
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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Okay but I'm not the singer? @Ghastles
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just don't do a Lady Gaga and use a $20k mic backwards on a global stream
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Day 2
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To come back on topic a bit...i have my first skype session with a cbt tonight!
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@Deleted User I've deleted all social media over the last year - mostly to help anxiety but I realised they're all addictive and habit-forming, just like weed
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@Deleted User me too!
4:31 PM
We should look at this like a fight, get aggressive in a way against the addiction. Tell it fuck you no I'm not doing this
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Almost cancelled because i felt i was making progress but im following through
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Like you're fighting it
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Anyone else still have kinda shitty memory?
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Ohh nice. Have you tried CBT before?
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thats great @pk how do you feel about it?
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i googled cbt - i dont think i got the right result...😂
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:31 PM
@dinodicc Yeah I'm still low on energy too. Waiting for that to come back
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My girlfriend is smoking on the balcony. Fuck
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@dinodicc yeah I used to have a ridiculously detailed memory before smoking - it's coming back, but very very slowly
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Hello guys! 6 days strong.
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@Deleted User you made it past day 1! congratulations!
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Im excited. I’ve always been a little cynical with everything but i feel it lowering with weed gone and i’ve only heard amazing things here in the community
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@Ghastles hour 38!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:32 PM
Oh! @Deleted User what hour is it now? 34?
4:32 PM
38!
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I love this community, you're all great people
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@Deleted User does she know you want to quit? Maybe go somewhere where the smell doesn’t reach
4:33 PM
If you have incense or a candle or smth
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I don't miss smoking, but I do sort of miss the smell... Is that super weird?
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Wax Pens are the devil
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:34 PM
Sage
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@Deleted User I don't think that's too weird
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:34 PM
It smells exactly like weed
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@Deleted User no that makes sense, but for me smelling weed is a slippery slope
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@Deleted User freshly ground weed is still one of my favourite smells and the closest I get to wanting to smoke again
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@ThisGuise thisyes, wax pens fucked me uuuupppp
4:34 PM
Wow my phone hates me
4:35 PM
This*
4:35 PM
Fuuuuu
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4:35 PM
I meant yes
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ive been making memonics, and playing memory (with playing cards) to help a bit. IIRC in the 1964 batman, they did jigsaw puzzles with all the pieces upside down... that seems super hard, but a good way to train memory
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@dinodicc r/rimjob_steve
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@dinodicc I went through a 1g cart in like a week I think I did permanent damage
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There is an edit comment function. I use it a lot due to never wearing my glasses #toptip
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:36 PM
@ThisGuise Been there. Sometimes I feel like my little brain will never recover from years of abuse like that
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@ThisGuise makes me embarrassed to say i’d go through them within 3 days max 😭😂
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Yeah, i probably do belong there haha but it's cool, as long as I like my username that's all that matters @ThisGuise
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Miss it but happy to not do that anymore
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:37 PM
Remember that your addiction will do whatever it can to keep itself alive, so be suspicious of your desire to be around things that remind you of your habit. Think of what part of your brain that desire is coming from, and whether it's good to start giving it what it wants again.
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But on the wax pen topic, my highs with them were always almost dream like
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@ThisGuise makes me embarrassed to say i’d go through them within 3 days max 😭😂
@critter i was just going to say 1 day 😢
(edited)
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man no wonder I got addicted - I used to be around people who bragged about how much they smoked a week
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@dinnyhoon gross
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:38 PM
I reached a point with the carts where I was breaking them apart just to scrape the wax from the bottom with a paperclip. Reflecting on things like that is always kind of embarrassing
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it took years for me to feel ashamed of my addiction
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I’m pretty sure I had bootleg carts cause after 10 or so hits I wouldn’t even be high just get a headache and of course keep hitting it
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I grew up around people always smoking, it was almost bound to happen for me
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I'm embarrassed of all the reclaim and resin I've smoked
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I hope you've now removed that shame though? @dinnyhoon shame ain't good long term (edited)
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not to minimise your experience, @ThisGuise , just... wish a cart would have lasted a week
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I reached a point with the carts where I was breaking them apart just to scrape the wax from the bottom with a paperclip. Reflecting on things like that is always kind of embarrassing
@SeeYouNextTuesday same bro putting carts in a bag and rubbing under hot water
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Guys I’m in the ER and I have a kidney stone
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm concentrating on being proud of everything I've achieved since (and in spite of) smoking, shame is not fun to carry around
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Holy fuck. I’ve never felt such pain before
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Resin bowls 🤢
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I think my carts would last around 2 weeks, but only bc I wouldn't buy alot
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oof @Joel 😿
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:40 PM
I was chatting with my best friend last night and I hid this from her for 10 years. I explained how weed changed all my habits over the years and she was just kind of floored at how well I hid it
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And damn, hope ur ok @Joel
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Same Dino, one cart for a maximum of two weeks
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@Joel feel better soon!
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Thank you Dino, I am doing bad but yeah I feel better compared to before the pain meds
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Good way of dealing with it @dinnyhoon
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I used to spend $60-70 every two weeks on carts and bud (edited)
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smoke it in a day, drop it in iso, evaporate the iso, smoke that :/ ugh. im glad i never have to do that shit ever again.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:41 PM
I was dropping up to $300 a week right before I snapped out of it
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@Joel shitttt. Kidney stones is one of the worst pains
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Literally I cried and puked multiple times today
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I was spending $80 a week. We almost were evicted.
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When I was smoking there was a specific group of friends I'd always be with where we'd just take turns buying so luckily for me I didn't drop too much per week but definitely my fair share
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Worst I was on was an 8th a day
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£40-60/wk here, years of financial stress and panicking about money, and for what
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:42 PM
@SeeYouNextTuesday it's easy to hide this stuff. I have even had stoner friends say something like "i thought you only got high when you were with me"
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growing myself saved me A LOT of money but skyrocketed my addiction..
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According to the grounded app I’ve saved £100 so far and I’m only on day 5!
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:43 PM
the stuff has gotten so concentrated and available that i really didn't have to spend a ton of $ to be high daily.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:43 PM
@leaving_again Scary easy. And then weed has this reputation of being harmless so any time I wanted to start trying to talk about this with my therapist or even my boss, they were all just like 🤷‍♂️
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@SeeYouNextTuesday it's easy to hide this stuff. I have even had stoner friends say something like "i thought you only got high when you were with me"
@leaving_again my husband thought the same, and I live with him!
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I’d never wanna see the total price I spent on weed/carts
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fire your therapist
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Why did I spend all my money saved on shit from Amazon. Damnit
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:43 PM
I did lol
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4:44 PM
She was no good for a while but that was more than a year ago and we hadn't talked about it since
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:44 PM
@Deleted User yeah, I have kept most of that hidden from my wife over a period of 15 years. I mean she knows I get stoned, just not quite how much. Like if it were alcohol, that would be a lot of drunk time
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not saying all therapists are bad, but, if they arent willing to help you, there are others
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I had a therapist, nice guy, helped me a lot
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I used to lie to my therapist(s) about how much I was smoking and how often - talk about self-destructive behaviours 🙄
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:45 PM
and when i am not using, the wife will see me anxious or quick tempered and suggest maybe I need to get stoned. It's just not a concept she really understands fully as a non stoner
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@leaving_again the problem is that I wasn't really getting high, I was just functional, so no one noticed
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@dinnyhoon same
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:46 PM
not her fault, it's just something that only can be understood by those in it
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yep, super functional. I have a 20+ year career.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:46 PM
I actually ended up seeing a psychologist for testing and a psychiatrist for the meds and hid it from both of them. The meds were way too intense and screwed with my mood even more. I wonder if I had just been honest, maybe I could've skirted all the hours of testing and interviews and everything
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Anyone get irrationally emotional?
4:47 PM
Idk if its from lack of sleep or what
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@dinnyhoon I came clean to my therapist only a week ago. I'd been seeing him 10 months
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:47 PM
@pk Absolutely. I used to be so even-keeled
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@leaving_again aye. Broke up with a partner over that. Trying to quit, short tempered, she kept bringing weed home to "calm me down"
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But i feel like im on the verge or crying😂🙈and im not even sad or anything
4:47 PM
Just more of a release
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I think I was scared of telling therapists because they'd either stop treatment (and the waiting lists are huuuge), or they'd try to help me stop smoking, which the addiction did not want
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In my sophomore year of HS I got caught up smoking on campus and almost had to go to court for it but my only response was to just laugh and say I'm still not stopping. Looking back, I was pretty dumb lol but oh well
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Lack of sleep fucks me up in all sorts of ways. I feel emotional, unmotivated, hot/cold, hungry etc etc
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:48 PM
@pk yep. and I am getting good sleep too. I blew up on my wife last night about my honey do list
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:48 PM
@dinnyhoon Exactly. I started realizing around then that smoking wasn't doing me any favors but I couldn't stand the thought of ANYONE else telling me to stop
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@dinnyhoon I just wasn't ready to admit it was an addiction, so I lied about how much I smoked
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@dinnyhoon I just wasn't ready to admit it was an addiction, so I lied about how much I smoked
@Deleted User i think a lot of us have been there lol
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I read posts that say “i woke up with.......” and all i can think is i didnt even get a chance to wake up. I was awake the whole time
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@Deleted User I know exactly how you feel, I didn't use the 'a' word until a few days ago, and I still find myself deleting the word 'habit' and replacing it with 'addiction', even today in this chat
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@pk yeah.. i have weird mood swings too. i think its because our brains need to adapt to the new and normal level of dopamine and all hormones responible for happines
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@Deleted User gotta be honest with yourself, before you can be with other people (edited)
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@pk when I knew I had to quit was when I would stay up all night to smoke
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Until the sun came up
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:49 PM
@georgeka YEP
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:49 PM
@pk, great sleep will eventually come. i had horrible insomnia at some points during my big quit attempts. i ahve been lucky so far on this one. It helps I rode my bike 15 miles and 1000ft climbing yesterday evening
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I knew I had to quit when all i could think about was being sober again
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:50 PM
Then quarantine came along and it was verrry easy to continue that, sleep all day, then do it all over again
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That myth that you can't get addicted to weed kept me addicted to weed for years.
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1000 foot climb?! damn, i gotta step up my game!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:50 PM
My boss asked me to come help her with things a few times since I live close to work and I told her I needed advance warning because I'd probably be high
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@leaving_again slowly getting there. I used to work out 2hrs a day until covid. Starting with walks and going to up the pace soon
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:50 PM
INSANE
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I used to stay up late because sleeping would teleport me to a world where I had responsibilities to fulfill before I could smoke again - I was just ruining my life in a tired, half-stoned haze every day
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:50 PM
@Ghastles its just hilly where i live. that was just a ride around town
4:51 PM
walks are great for calming anxiety. If your mind races, add a podcast in a headphone
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<makes note that @leaving_again is now athletic nemesis>
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:51 PM
i need to get some stuff done. Thanks for the support leaves!
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@dinnyhoon exactly. I would only let myself smoke at night, so as long as I didn’t sleep it was still night and I could still smoke. Problem was when the sun came up I couldn’t tell myself it was still night
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What’s the struggle like for those in legal states?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:52 PM
@ThisGuise the expense was part of what got me to stop lol
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:52 PM
I am in a legal state. I have made it to 6 months twice. Both times it was really easy to get another cartidge, battery (edited)
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stay strong @leaving_again !
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:53 PM
My state hasn't implemented it well so there are very long waits which just aren't appealing to me anymore
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Anyways guys i finally have a bit of an appetite and am gonna try eat! Each and everyone of you is such a big help and i’ll never be able to express how thankful i am for you. Stay strong beautiful people!!!!♥♥♥♥
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Is anyone in here in the UK?
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 4:53 PM
think of it like an alcoholic and all the liquor around. thats a tough one (edited)
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Cali for me
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:53 PM
BC Canada
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English
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I'm in an illegal state that borders a legal one. It's so hard knowing everything is just an hour away.
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Liverpool here
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oh nice, you're my neighbour @SarahSnowSoup
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:54 PM
Things are about to start reopening eh
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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We have an aussie?
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@SarahSnowSoup yesss first day bars open here. gonna grab a pint with my flat mate for the first time in ages (edited)
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My county is trying to reopen and I think it's really dumb, it's way too soon
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Indian here! Kerala, India.
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<may have hit the wrong flag>
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@Mörxl v jel
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My state is mostly open. My governor is an idiot.
4:56 PM
G2g! Thanks, all!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:56 PM
Illinois actually has a plan for us which is nice
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I'm not sure about my entire state, honestly haven't paid attention to that but either way definitely shouldn't re open
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@Deleted User best of luck with your day! stay strong
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:57 PM
Well it was my first time in the discord and i can see itll be a positive way to start my days 🙂
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I love this discord
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weed's illegal af here and I think it helped me quit - I never liked picking up off shady dealers (although without getting into politics, this doesn't mean I support criminalisation)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:57 PM
Yep. Y'all are fab
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I love this discord
@dinodicc and it loves you!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 4:58 PM
Nice to have some likeminded people in my day 😊
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@everyone wish you all the best, stay strong💪
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:58 PM
Exactly
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See you later guys
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:58 PM
My whole family smokes
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Well, bye guys, see you later on today :)
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! I'm happy to see you all, especially the new faces! I hope to see each of you back!
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hope everyone has a good day, see you guys later
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:58 PM
Have a great day friends, be strong
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First day here and this helped a ton I’ll be back for sure stay strong people
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@SarahSnowSoup hope to see you back soon! honestly this group is one of the biggest things i look forward to when waking up!
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Cept me. Never glad to see me eh? 😏🐑🐑 baa byeeee
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SarahSnowSoup 15/05/2020 4:59 PM
Definitely
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always glad to see you @M1NDFEEDER
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Have a good day everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. I need to go add more flags to the Leaves members world map. See you all later!
5:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello again! How's everyone's day been?
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Hello everyone :)
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Good afternoon everyone, staying strong?
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Megazord unite!
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hi all, hope we're having a good Friday (it is Friday right?)
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Today's been cool. 12 days in.
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Hi guys! I'm on day 2 (hour 44 to be exact). I just tried painting miniatures sober for the first time ever.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:01 PM
I was thinking about you all today. What are some of the milestones you're looking forward to? I don't mean days, but I mean things weed was holding you back from doing.
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awesome @Deleted User how did it go?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:01 PM
Hi @charlogazzo , welcome!
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Hi guys! I'm on day 2 (hour 44 to be exact). I just tried painting miniatures sober for the first time ever.
@Deleted User You did it, you crazy son of a loving mom. actually did it!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:01 PM
For me a huge one it's gonna be paying off my CC after I racked up some debt trying to keep enough cash on hand for weed
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@Deleted User awesome stuff! 4 hours to the next milestone, you can do it!
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I was thinking about you all today. What are some of the milestones you're looking forward to? I don't mean days, but I mean things weed was holding you back from doing.
@SeeYouNextTuesday getting my own home back and finally start working a proper job
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I paid 6k off of my 7k credit card bill
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@Ghastles Shakey hands are not so good for painting tiny things, but I'm clearer and more detail-oriented than I was high (edited)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:02 PM
Nice! I dropped $2K the other day just to start the process
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@Ghastles whoa that's great man
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I want to hug you guys so badly!!!
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it was actually one of the things keeping me smoking crushing anxiety from being in debt
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Hey frens
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:03 PM
@Ghastles Yes!!!
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thats great @SeeYouNextTuesday !!!
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btw I finally got an appointment for a therapist, i am so excited
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:04 PM
I've always been chasing jobs where I make just enough to scrape by with plenty of time to get high. Glad to finally be letting myself put my fancy degree to use lol
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<hugs @DL23 > You'll get it back!
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@DL23 nice!!!! My first one is in an hour🙈
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@DL23 awesome! My therapist has helped me through this so mich
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yeah! I went to therapy for 12 weeks ending a month and I am really in need of something for a year or two, once a week
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@SeeYouNextTuesday oh man I feel that, there have been times when I scraped by on 10-15hr weeks so I could spend the rest of my time baked (and then I sat there wondering why I was so broke)
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Hello everyone! Hope you're all having a blessed Friday!
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I want to work 30h a week to have enough time to enjoy life and make my ends meet with a bit more
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:06 PM
@dinnyhoon I would always complain to my friends I never had money to go out with them but then I'd feel massive shame because they all knew I was high all the time. Then I'd overthink it and get bad anxiety and smoke more hoping it'd help and it's just a nasty cycle
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10:06 PM
But I was ALWAYS down to head to the dispensary with them 🙄
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Hello everyone,Day 8 checkin.I couldn't have made it this far without this group.Thanks everyone.
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The one moment which will be stuck in my mind forever is this one hot summer day, I was craving for an ice cream, was right besides an ice cream shop but thought "nah man you only got 20 bucks for your dealer" I felt so disconnected to society i literally cant even
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@SeeYouNextTuesday yes! self perpectuating downaards spiral, super glad you btoke out of it!
10:07 PM
day 8! great job @AnthonyK 🥳
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I must say I've felt less anxious today as I've knocked back my caffeine intake
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:07 PM
Now I just gotta find my friends again lol
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:07 PM
get guys
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So much easier to fall than to climb. This was weed for me. Could have amazing opportunities infront of me, but id choose to go home and smoke alone
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:07 PM
hey guys
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Happy Friday all!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:08 PM
But that's the easy part. We're all in the middle of a very hard time in our personal lives with this journey!
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@robboski I'm scared to try to cut caffeine at the same time as weed
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Happy Friday 🙂
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Yeah it’s hard not to regret/dwell on what I missed out on in favor of weed. But onwards and upwards
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@Deleted User dude I've cut out nicotine, weed and caffeine you got this!
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:08 PM
Hi @easymoneysniper , welcome!
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i need to cut so much things from my life to live a healthy life style but Ill tackle one thing after another
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I've been thinking about my caffeine input since last night's chat, I'm definitely going to cut down.... sooooon
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:08 PM
marijuana is the most deceptive drug in society right now
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soon™
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:09 PM
@DL23 One step at a time. I'm slowly dropping bad habits I thought I enjoyed but they're really not that fulfilling sober
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@robboski you might be stronger than I! I can't imagine
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:09 PM
@easymoneysniper It's like that movie Little Joe lol. Tricks everyone into taking care of it
10:09 PM
@Deleted User I was able to realize coffee is a huge source of anxiety for me
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@Deleted User if I can do it, so can you!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:10 PM
I couldn't see that while I was high
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:10 PM
i was wondering how much u guys were smoking before u quit
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@easymoneysniper I was taking massive dabs every two hours
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@SeeYouNextTuesday today is the first day I've not felt anxious in a long time
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up to 7 a day, or a cartridge
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:10 PM
I was about 2 or 3g daily + carts in-between
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@easymoneysniper probably 1g a day, smoking bowls every 2-3 hours all day
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way too effing much
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:11 PM
wow that’s encouraging
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way too effing much
@Ghastles this. Lol
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:11 PM
i was high from the moment i woke up to the moment i slept. i haven’t quit yet, but i’m working towards pushing my first high of the day further and further back. i’m @6pm now but it’s very difficult
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:12 PM
@robboski Isn't it crazy? I was saying in the chat earlier today I got put on really intense and awful anxiety meds because I never told them I smoked. I realize ~2 weeks out that weed was a massive source of that
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damn, thats great @easymoneysniper
10:12 PM
keep it up!
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@easymoneysniper rip the bandage off and quit! it's a tough couple of days but so worth it
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I don't even know what my mental health is like without weed
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:12 PM
thank u:) i’ve tried cold turkey too many times just to purchase the next day
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i was high from the moment i woke up to the moment i slept. i haven’t quit yet, but i’m working towards pushing my first high of the day further and further back. i’m @6pm now but it’s very difficult
@easymoneysniper This looks like a good strategy and actually one of my favourite youtuber got off his nicotine addicition with the same tactic. I hope you can come out of it with this tactic if cold turkey is not woring for you
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:13 PM
@Deleted User Well it certainly shows everyone their propensity for mental illness
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weed did no great things for my mental health and everything around it lol
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@Deleted User I know what you mean - my MH has been in ruins for as long as I can remember. The most important thing is that now that I'm sober I feel like I'm in a position to actually do something about it instead of using weed to run away
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@easymoneysniper glad you are here. This is the first step.
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:13 PM
@dinnyhoon i know i’m so excited to quit! it’s just i wanna train myself to be able to conquer the 24 hours in the day without marijuana. then i believe the addiction will have lost most of its power
10:13 PM
i’ve failed too many times and my confidence to quit is so low
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@easymoneysniper keep going.You can do it.
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But you are a (wo)man with a plan!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:14 PM
@easymoneysniper I lost count of how many times I tried to quit over the past few years
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and this is a huge step in my opinion
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:14 PM
🙂 thank u guys
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:14 PM
I had to break before I took it seriously
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Someone mentioned in the chat yesterday about a book about Cognitive Behavioural Theory @dinnyhoon can you remember what it was called??
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every time I tried to quit it was without a plan
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@Deleted User I know what you mean - my MH has been in ruins for as long as I can remember. The most important thing is that now that I'm sober I feel like I'm in a position to actually do something about it instead of using weed to run away
@dinnyhoon same. I've been diagnosed with MI for 15 years,but I've been smoking for 10, so who knows if I've even gotten any better?
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this time I slowly am working towards a plan and its so much easier
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everyone's experience is different but every time I tried to moderate and push my weed usage into the night, it did not last long
10:14 PM
@robboski ah damn can't remember sorry
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:15 PM
👉 It's "Feeling Good" by David Burns
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:15 PM
Feeling Good by David Burns?
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10:15 PM
Search box in the corner is your friend 🙂 Besides us
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@SeeYouNextTuesday @Moderator -- Subduction I'm gonna download this right now
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Hi all just checking in
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10:16 PM
@Deleted User how's your day 2 treating you?
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@Moderator -- Subduction dogbot is a way better name than chatscheduler
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@Deleted User the good news is that you've removed a crucial block in getting your MH sorted
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Going ok! Woke up pretty nauseous but went on a long walk and felt a lot better
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:16 PM
how are u guys dealing with the loneliness of addiction along with quarantine?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:16 PM
@easymoneysniper The first few days were rough but I forced myself to do all the things I didn't think would be fun without being high
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@Deleted User the nausea hasn't abated at all for me, but I'm still better than yesterday
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how are u guys dealing with the loneliness of addiction along with quarantine?
@easymoneysniper well I am lonely for a good span of my life so I am used to it. Currently playing minecraft and getting in touch with different communities
10:17 PM
just to train to socialize for when the corona crisis is over
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@easymoneysniper I'm using every support group I can
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@easymoneysniper honestly, quarantine made it easier for me. Now im not sure I actually care... Ive always prefered spending my time alone, but now im productive and happy doing it again
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@easymoneysniper I wouldn't say I'm lonely (my missus is with me throughout quarantine) but honestly this chat is giving me some of the social activity I'm craving
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:17 PM
@easymoneysniper I lost interest in just about everything and felt so disconnected from the world. I feel like part of something again even though I've seen like two people in the past month lol
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:18 PM
ya exactly i wanna be @ my best socially post quarantine
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@Deleted User sorry to hear that but glad it’s better than yesterday! I hope it goes away soon...I hate being nauseous haha
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If anyone has any book recommends btw I'm loving my new found ability to concentrate 😂
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:18 PM
@Ghastles haha me too 🙂 i’m not even in a super rush for quarantine to end ... is that every
10:18 PM
evil
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@robboski Im excited to read my first novel in years, but I need to decide which one!
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@Deleted User it does, over time. dont worry
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Heya all you BeLeavers!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:19 PM
@robboski @Deleted User I always recommend The Crying of Lot 49. It's wild
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some of us are just introverts and enjoy our own company, and that's awesome! plenty of stuff to do alone
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@robboski the unbearable lightness of being, or a short history of progress
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:19 PM
It's a shorty if you haven't read for a while. Bluets as well
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:19 PM
hey joon
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10:19 PM
i think everyone should read power of now
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@Deleted User @SeeYouNextTuesday just looked it up and it sounds pretty wild!
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:20 PM
by eckhart tolle. really one of the best books i’ve ever read
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:20 PM
Thomas Pynchon is a nutjob but he writes great stories
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Power of now is a great read
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anything by vonnegut, and sherlock holmes is great - it illustrates a lot about mental illness and addiction (edited)
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:20 PM
@pk do u have any recommendations of books like it?
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When Breath Becomes Air. It is a stunning true story autobiography of an oncologist who gets cancer.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:20 PM
Oh gosh that one is so sad
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@easymoneysniper im a little weird when it comes to this. I read alot of business influenced self help stuff but apply it to my everyday life
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I started Good Omens about two years ago and never got past the 60 page mark. That'll probably be what I pick up first. Huge Neil Gaiman fan.
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The magic of thinking big was one that made a huge impact
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@SeeYouNextTuesday Yeah it is. I cried multiple times. But it is also tremendously powerful.
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anything by Chuck Palahniuk is amazing too
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:21 PM
hmm i’ll have to check those out 💯 ty
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:22 PM
👮‍♂️ <Books are great as is keeping busy, but we have limited time on the channel, so let's bring it back...>
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Less reading more weeding am I rite@Moderator -- Subduction
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the good news is my stomach feels like it's starting to settle - my appetite is very much back and that feeling that I've eaten a ball of lead is lightening up (day 16)
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:23 PM
@robboski Hmm.
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@dinnyhoon awesome time hear that! Progress..
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easymoneysniper 15/05/2020 10:23 PM
@dinnyhoon that is awesome! one of the things i’m most scared of when i choose to fully stop. i’m already very thin
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My house mate still blazes and I feel like I'm unnecessarily mean to him because he won't stop
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:23 PM
I am thinking about doing an occasional media megathread on leaves -- books, podcasts, music, etc. so keep an eye out for that...
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So I have to say I feel a lot better today than yesterday. I feel more motivated and definitely happier. This is the first time I've been on a group like this and it has been a HUGE help. So my good feelings today are a tribute to all you badasses.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:24 PM
I'm a little stuck at the no appetite stage. Don't have energy for much since I'm not eating a ton
10:24 PM
Lots of soups and broths hah
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@easymoneysniper I guess I'm 'lucky' in that I could stand to lose a couple of pounds (or stone), so the lack of appetite early on was welcome
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I've only eaten crackers all day
10:24 PM
@dinnyhoon same
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:24 PM
One plus side is I've stopped eating so. much. sugar.
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@SeeYouNextTuesday YES - a multi pack of chocolate bars now lasts me a week instead of 30 minutes
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:25 PM
@dinnyhoon That's what I call moderation! I was finishing a can of frosting daily lolol
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10:25 PM
It's a miracle I didn't blow up
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@Joon May I ask how long you have?
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@Deleted User It is day 3 for me.
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@Joon it gets easier from here on!
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@Joon that's awesome! The hard part is nearly over and the rewards are coming
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Hello all!! Day 6!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:27 PM
@Joon You got this!! Day 3 melts into 4 into 500
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I was feeling like crap yesterday. But I went out to the park and sang my heart out and it was terrific.
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I'll be on day 28 on Monday! Holy heck!
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@katmescudi awesome!!!!!!
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I did freak out all the puppers tho
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great job @Joon , @katmescudi @robboski
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10:27 PM
@robboski gonna watch 28 days later to celebrate?
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@Deleted User @Ghastles ty both!!!
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@Ghastles no its too real with the covid stuff going on haha
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@Ghastles how are you doing? what day are you on?
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23 here
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Hello. Any long term quitters got some advice on how to deal with the boredom / new lifestyle going forward? I'm running out of ideas. Not about to relapse AT ALL but... I'm a bit bored now, miss chaos a bit
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aww, thank you guys
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:29 PM
@M1NDFEEDER what's a skill you've always wanted to learn?
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Hello. Any long term quitters got some advice on how to deal with the boredom / new lifestyle going forward? I'm running out of ideas. Not about to relapse AT ALL but... I'm a bit bored now, miss chaos a bit
@M1NDFEEDER get yourself new hobbies, meet new peeps, try out different things
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Gardening, yoga, origami, picnics, go on a research rabbit hole
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@M1NDFEEDER scroll up for some great book recommendations
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:29 PM
@M1NDFEEDER I started learning 3D modeling and picked up the guitar I had languishing in the corner untouched for five years
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@M1NDFEEDER I'm trying to jump back into my normal hobbies and finding new things to watch (I would only watch things I'd seen before when high)
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@DL23 A lot harder because of quarantine :<
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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Kinda hard in isolation
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@DL23 A lot harder because of quarantine :<
@Hans Zimmy true but you can prepare for everything
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I'm watching much more TV now that I actually have an attention span
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@M1NDFEEDER Hmm yes it is quite hard to think of exciting things to do during lockdown.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:30 PM
@dinnyhoon @M1NDFEEDER Yep! I can follow the plots now and not go to the next episode wondering what happened.
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its not too hard even in isolation to find out things you can enjoy doing alone
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@dinnyhoon me too. Now I actually remember them!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:31 PM
I was afraid I wouldn't laugh as much or be as engaged with the characters or story but it's just not true.
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chaos can be a beautiful thing. You could start... <remembers warnings about not advising to do anything questionably legal and shuts up>
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Haha the tv thing is so true, I actually know what’s going on in shows now
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Definitely. I've watched so many movies high and don't remember a thing
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@SeeYouNextTuesday yeah addiction likes to tell you that lie "XYZ is better/only worth doing stoned" - it's bullshit. Food is still delicious, the office is still hilarious, and scorpions are still terrifying to catch in Animal Crossing
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Evening guys. I’m on day 6 now (and two minutes)!
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I think I've seen Grandma's Boy four times and still have no idea what the plot is
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What’s up everyone
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Yeah so new hobbies meeting people out of the question, books I'm already doing, old hobbies already doing, exercise is back, don't want any new skills I'm kind of a "happy with my lot" kinda gal
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welcome @fizziebanta , how far are you in?
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@georgeka awesome job!!
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Heya @Ben Dover !
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My favourite current hobby is rewatching movies and realising o got nothing from the first watch haha
10:33 PM
I’m only on day 1
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@M1NDFEEDER Working out really helps.
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My favourite current hobby is rewatching movies and realising o got nothing from the first watch haha
@fizziebanta so many movies ive “seen” but dont remember....
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:33 PM
Day 1 is where you change your life @fizziebanta
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Howdy all
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day 1 is great! everyone starts there!
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I’m ready for it (I hope)
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I’m only on day 1
@fizziebanta "only" you did a step most peeps are afraid of!
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Yes! You are!! @fizziebanta
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I used to think it was cool that I could watch my favourite films having remembered nothing - it wasn't, I was just keeping myself dumb
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Aw thank you
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My favourite current hobby is rewatching movies and realising o got nothing from the first watch haha
@fizziebanta I feel this. I watch a lot of anime so if I don’t read the subtitles I don’t know what’s happening.
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I'm on day 7 and holy crap it's already feeling better. I'm not binge eating like crazy, having more energy to wake up at normal times too!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:34 PM
@Alowave I wake up at 8a instead of going to bed at 8a
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You should feel so proud of yourself! Day 1 is such a big step!
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:34 PM
Hi @Alowave , welcome!
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@Alowave hearing things like this give me hope
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my sleeping pattern actually started to go back to normal a few days ago for the first time - I'm still in shock (and the withdrawal sleep issues went away after 4-5 days)
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:). I'm glad to hear that @pk I know the whole hopelessness feeling for sure.
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Anyone else dealing with hot and cold flashes?
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The binge eating during this quarantine has been unreal
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:36 PM
@Deleted User Yes! It's unreal
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@Deleted User yeah hot flashes for me. ;_; it's so uncomortable
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:36 PM
I've never felt like my temperature was well-regulated but it's pretty wild right now
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@fizziebanta definitely. It's so easy too
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Big test coming up because i have a long weekend 🇨🇦coming up with no plans. If anything will test me its these upcoming days
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@Deleted User yes very annoying
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@fizziebanta lol yeah. I’m limiting myself to junk food on weekends and being good during the week.
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The hot flashes for me are in my face and chest mainly.
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@Deleted User yep, day 2-3 it felt like my body was using any means necessary to get me uncomfortable
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:37 PM
@pk Video games? Movies? Books? TV shows? Exercise? Gardening? Carpentry? etc. etc.
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This makes me so happy to be in a community of fellow COMRADES trying to fight the lure of drug.
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@dinnyhoon I'm honestly not looking forward to Day 3. Day 2 is feeling too easy
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@SeeYouNextTuesday for me its guitar, guitar, read, guitar, repeat😂
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:37 PM
@pk Think of all the time you'll have for YOU
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10:37 PM
Not for weed
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I feel lucky to have such a good ally with music related activities.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:38 PM
Because as I see it, the two are not the same
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@pk sounds like a normal quarantine routine
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@Deleted User you've got progress behind you now, that will keep you going - you're already in the hardest part imo so don't stress about what could turn up next
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Oh ive been doing this for years😂
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Day 2. Still struggling.
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10:38 PM
Massive brain fog and a headache
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@Deleted User some days i felt so too. but honestly the main reason im still sober is because i dont have a stash🤷‍♂️
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The first few days are the worst. Then eventually it's like "okay okay I can do this!" All though sleep is hard for me.
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@Deleted User You're going through the roughest phase and you will get through it soon!
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@Deleted User you're getting through it! the hardest part will be over soon
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@Alowave Have you tried melotonin?
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@Deleted User so dont think you are at the finish line... yet
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Lowest point in life I must say. Compounded with this quarantine shit
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@Alowave yes. After a bad sleep i instantly try to turn it into a positive and thing “tonight i’ll be sooooo tired and will be better”
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Hey all! Sorry for the lack of activity on my part. I’ve been taking on a reno project in the basement. Repainting the walls and upgrading the bathroom. It’s all new to me but I’ve learned a lot from my dad. We used to work on renovations together a lot before he passed in 2018. Having projects like this help me become more accountable and stick to my goal of avoiding weed.
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But thanks for the support
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@Deleted User Am dealing with brain fog as well
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@Alowave the sleep will come back - I'm out like a light now, but I was struggling for almost a week
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@Hans Zimmy yeah I have! It helps but my dreams get so bizzare and spook me
10:40 PM
@dinnyhoon that's good to hear
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leaving_again 15/05/2020 10:40 PM
@ms4039 projects are a great distraction from weed stuff
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:40 PM
If you take too much melatonin, it can actually not do its job
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You cut any tea yet? @dinnyhoon
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:40 PM
Start with 1mg
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@Deleted User we are here to go through this together! Do you want to share what is troubling you?
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@M1NDFEEDER I replaced a couple of brews with water/cordial today! not many but it's a start!
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@dinnyhoon are you cutting out tea?
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Nice! Extra water is always good! @dinnyhoon
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Thanks man. It's not just psychological but physical too. And what's worse is my girlfriend is still smoking. We basically had a fight earlier and I decided to spend the weekend alone
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@georgeka I'm used to drinking 10+ a day, so I'm trying to cut down on caffeine intake (difficult because my god I love tea)
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@M1NDFEEDER I definitely dehydrated myself on day 1
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not to mention melatonin can have adverse affects, so even though its readily availible, its best to check with a doctor, not try it because it "works for us" (edited)
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@Deleted User yeah I did that for a few weeks until I realised those late night bad heads were due to dehydration 🤦🏼‍♀️
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@Deleted User oh damn. Do you guys live together?
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No we don't.
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@Deleted User That sounds tough, but I think at this time you made the correct choice of taking some space
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@dinnyhoon damn 10 a day that’s a lot even for an english person
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lmfao @georgeka
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:44 PM
@Ghastles Yes. Basically for all I recommend it as a last resort. Cut out caffeine late in the day, try to expend some energy (hard right now!), meditate/progressive muscle relaxation can bore you to sleep, etc. etc.
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@Deleted User oh god. My ex was very un supportive of me quitting. It was hard, we broke up tho from other reasons.
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@georgeka yeah probably too much lol, and as @M1NDFEEDER said it just leads to dehydration, anxiety etc
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:44 PM
I had racing thoughts the first few nights and could just not chill out. That's where the melatonin came in handy for me
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theres a couple if good threads in the sub on sleep hygiene and other tips
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I RECCOMEND MATCHA!!
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@Deleted User definitely a hard decision to make when other people’s feelings are involved, but if you need to take some space to take care of yourself there’s nothing wrong with that!
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dont have a link handy though :(
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@Deleted User The physical effects of withdrawal can be very overpowering. Maybe if you want to share some specifics, there are others who might have some helpful suggestions 🙂
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@georgeka definitely. It was so hard to let me put myself first too.
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@Moderator -- Subduction usually recommends a great /leaves post about sleep right about now
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:46 PM
I used to tell myself I could still sleep after a cup of coffee before bed. Turns out I could sleep because I'd get so blazed after I'd get miserable and pass out
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@dinnyhoon I keep making myself iced coffees and I had a sip of ice cold water earlier today and I didn’t realise how much I needed it
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:46 PM
<Processing...>
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I RECCOMEND MATCHA!!
@Alowave nothing like caffeine to put you to sleep 🤔
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Caffeine and weed go together like farmers and sheep
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Lol not for sleep
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Not much except a massive headache today @Joon thanks for asking man
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10:47 PM
Took some magnesium now hope it helps
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If you need caffeine during the day it's great for that. Better than coffee
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i use to drink like 6 monsters, then fall asleep, and wake up sick :/
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank you ❤️
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@Ghastles my ex worked for redbull and i had caaaases. Gift and a curse lol
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10:47 PM
Was totally on the redbull naps. Not good😂🙈
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@Ghastles oh dear. I used to be addicted to energy drinks too. Then I moved to matcha. The caffeine gradually goes into your system during the day so it really helps.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:48 PM
@Ghastles Similar problem! I loooooved coffee in excess and I woke up every morning sick to my stomach
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(I know I'm straying OT here pls don't kill me) I was hooked on energy drinks for a while, they are poison
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yeah, imo, they should be banned
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:48 PM
👮‍♂️ <A reminder that discussions of alcohol, tobacco, other drugs, meds, or supplements as quitting aids are off topic for us.>
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Sending you good thoughts @Deleted User. I dunno what is the best way of dealing with the headache. Usually staying hydrated and some light teas are helpful for me.
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So back to weed
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right on queue
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Weed is bad for me
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I've had a fair few headaches in the last couple of weeks (and a bad migraine), but my head is starting to feel clearer and healthier day by day
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We're a bad combo
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Water is the best for headaches
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sorry, for asking a dumb question, are you staying hydrated @dinnyhoon ? (edited)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:50 PM
Keep a full water bottle near you at all times!
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Were headaches a normal occurrence for you before you quit @dinnyhoon
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Sometimes I got headaches from smoking too much, as I roll with some tobacco in there and it gives me headaches. Long showers do wonders for me
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I haven't had one in years
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Ten teas a day count? @Ghastles re @dinnyhoon (edited)
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@Ghastles trying to! I usually wake up dehydrated and slowly get better throughout the day
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Tea is a diuretic, it causes you to lose water
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10:51 PM
here's everyone's reminder to drink a glass of water
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@Deleted User majorly - I'm a huge migraine sufferer too
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Which could give you a headache if you drink too much
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:51 PM
Strangely enough sipping water helped me with cravings
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10:51 PM
So I was super hydrated for a while 🙂
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I usually have water first thing in the morning
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I've started filling the fridge with big bottles of water because wow cold water is delicious
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Wait thirty mins and then have breakfast
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@SeeYouNextTuesday wow I never heard of that. Will definitely give it a go
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I'm enjoying cranberry juice right now
10:52 PM
Way less destructive than coffee was
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I've barely eaten since yesterday. Could have contributed to my headache but ouch it is intense.
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i might have gotten addicted to powerade now 😬, but at least i'm not drinking the koolaide
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Especially at 2252pm
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omg i love cranberry juice
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Ooo @Deleted User you gotta eat sir.
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so bitterly delicious
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:52 PM
@georgeka It was the habit of bringing something up to my mouth. It didn't make the cravings easier, but it helped trick me long enough to make it through the early days
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Low blood sugar can easily trigger migraines
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@M1NDFEEDER do you enjoy grapefruit juice too?
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Weed withdrawal headaches are similar to keto diet headaches
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Quitting those green bags of shite has DEFINITELY improved what I put in my body. Thank GOD
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10:54 PM
I've never had it 😳 @Ghastles the colour puts me off ahahah (edited)
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pink?
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10:54 PM
yellow?
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@Deleted User god I would get awful migraines on keto. Shame it works 🤣
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@Deleted User could you please elaborate on that please? re: keto / weed migraines
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Body aches from anxiety are starting to hit
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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I didn't realise it at the time but quitting weed now feels like step 1 in improving my overall health - step 2 is remembering to stay hydrated and stop eating any old shit out the freezer
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@Deleted User Maybe try to do some stretches?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:55 PM
@Deleted User Take some deep breaths because you're surrounded by friends!!
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I'm used to eating once a day. Never gave headaches
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Can you do some exercise real quick? @Deleted User
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This hour always flies by🥴
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:55 PM
@Deleted User We're here to help ya
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@Deleted User hot bath/shower to relax maybe?
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@M1NDFEEDER I might try some yoga. Addiction voice keeps telling me I can't do it sober, so I'm gonna prove it wrong
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10:56 PM
Thanks everyone for the support
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good luck next hour @pk hope it goes well for you, mate
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:56 PM
@Deleted User That addiction voice is NOT you
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i’ve been lurking but it’s my first time saying hi... i’m having a really hard day, but i’ve been doing things to make myself feel better. hope all you guys are doing well.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:56 PM
I read somewhere (here?) that it helps some folks to name that separate voice
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@Deleted User Ah okay. But keep in mind that you are quitting now so your body is already under stress.
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Do the urges to smoke ever go away completely?
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Anyways i have my first skype meeting with a therapist in 30min!! Gonna make sure my internet is sufficient which i probably should have done earlier😂
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Step 50 is take off clothes for confidence just so you know @dinnyhoon
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@Ghastles thank you😌
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@SeeYouNextTuesday Donald. Donald is good.
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Do the urges to smoke ever go away completely?
@jzbakos for me, they never will, I'm an addict, always will be
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@M1NDFEEDER this is assuming I'm currently wearing clothes
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@dinnyhoon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:57 PM
@Deleted User Hahaha apt
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:57 PM
Glad you did @jhnsn794 -- we're just about to close up, but I hope you can join us for another session!
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@jhnsn794 Welcome 💛
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Waits for the nudity reminder
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I'm curious if Breathing will be different after a month of no smoking :o. Have any of guys coughed up resin?
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:58 PM
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU. @M1NDFEEDER
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oh yes, breathing will get WAY BETTER
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Breathing is so much better now
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I've coughed up janky sputum. It probably did have resin.
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@Alowave not sure about coughing anything up but I had a lot of dry coughing in week 1, I breathe like a king now though
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Lung capacity is so much better
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@M1NDFEEDER I love how your humour😂 (edited)
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(do kings breathe well?)
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. Great to see old and new faces alike. I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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But breathing becomes infinitely better!
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:D yay!
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Right I'm off goodnight and sweet dreams ya filthy leavers 😘
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This was great talking to you all
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Thanks guys, you're always a big help
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Great meeting team!!
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have a good Friday night everyone! stay strong and you get to brag to us all tomorrow about your awesome progress! x
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see you all tomorrow, hope to hear good news!
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 10:59 PM
✌️
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If anyone wants to talk send me a dm:)
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Have a great night everyone! Looking forward to tomorrow 🙂
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I'm off to have a big glass of water now
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SeeYouNextTuesday 15/05/2020 11:00 PM
Same. Got nothing but time these days if anyone needs a little support
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@Deleted User we're going to kick day 3's ass! (edited)
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<puts on vash the stampede glasses> Repeat after me: This world is built on PEACE AND LOVE (edited)
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@Deleted User YES!! Sure are
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Moderator -- Subduction 15/05/2020 11:01 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. I need to go buy clothes for @M1NDFEEDER See you all later!
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11:01 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
11:01 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ @everyone Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Sometimes on weekends we have some quiet moments. That's okay, don't stress the silence. Even if no one is speakinge we're all still here together. Now you go!
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First
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Hello! Good morning!
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good morning everyone. day 24. (edited)
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Morning :)
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Hi guys, day 2
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Happy Saturday! Day 14 for me
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Hello everyone
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Day 4
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Day 3 for me here
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2 weeks!!! @Jay
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Hi guys! Day 3, going strong!
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Anyone else can’t sleep?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:01 PM
Great job @Jay !
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You’ve got this @dinodicc @Deleted User @Deleted User @fizziebanta
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Nope, sleep is so hard to get rn @fizziebanta
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@fizziebanta I slept well, but had crazy nightmares all night
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I think last night was my first sleep without weird dreams
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Attended a support group last night that made me really grateful for our moderators
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I’d take crazy dreams over no sleep!
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all hail @Moderator -- Subduction !
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4:03 PM
what happened @Deleted User ?
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@Ghastles it went overtime by 15 minutes because of a discussion of politics
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hey guys! Day 12 here. Watching german football right now (without fans=no emotions, so quite boring actually). My usual saturday routine was get stoned, watch football, get even more stoned. Cant remember a football-saturday sober😂 😅 hope you are doing allright!
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oof
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I actually did some painting yesterday sober!
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Hey hey ya'll!
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@Deleted User how’d that go?
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@Mörxl, could set up a zoom chat with people watching the game, so you get that "crowd / emotion" feel 😝 (edited)
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@Deleted User slow because of the shakes, but Im more detail-oriented than I ever was high, which is great when everything you paint is under three inches tall
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what are you painting @Deleted User ? d&d? WH?
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Anyone else try yoga? Very relaxing, did it earlier this morning
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@Deleted User great!
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@Ghastles I love painting WH, but right now I'm painting a game called Rising Sun, based on Japanese folklore
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@Ghastles crazy awesome!
4:07 PM
@dinodicc day 4 is cool bro
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@dinodicc I tried yoga last night, somehow I'm more flexible sober, but I was so sweaty the whole time
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Hello guys, one week!! Hell yeahhhh
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@chaiman awesome!
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@Deleted User i definitely sweated a lot more than I would have liked but it felt so good
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@Deleted User keep it going broski
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Anyone else try yoga? Very relaxing, did it earlier this morning
@dinodicc i so want to, but no studios are open, and a bit hesitant to start something like that (stretching) without guidance / correction, to avoid injury
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:09 PM
That's great @chaiman !
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@Deleted User yasss
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@dinodicc it did help my muscle aches a lot
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@Moderator -- Subduction I know right so psyched
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@chaiman how are you feeling a week in?!
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@Deleted User thats awesome, looking up rising sun now
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@Ghastles I did a video I found off of YouTube for beginners, very nice
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oh, ghose are beautiful!
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@Subduction can I post a pic of a painted mini?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:11 PM
@Deleted User Sorry, I'd have to turn off multiple things. 😦
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@dinodicc would you be willing to pm me a link, please?
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@Moderator -- Subduction okay, no problem
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@Deleted User I feel great man. Today I got this call from my circle in the evening. I get it once in a week now that we're in covid lockdown. I was really afraid I was going to pick up the call and waste myself. But I managed to dodge that bullet. This call and the weed session afterwards is the only connection I have with them. Don't know how to feel about that. Lol.
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@Ghastles you got it, just give me a minute to find it
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@Deleted User could you pm me the pic please? would love to see what you did! (edited)
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Day 3.
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grats @Deleted User
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@chaiman glad you are feeling great 😀
4:13 PM
Yoga and meditation in the morning. Feel as great as I did stoned. With a clearer head
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@Deleted User yes!
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Thanks for the support so far!
4:14 PM
I was so sick this morning until I went on a strenuous walk. Feel much better now
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4:14 PM
Weird side-effect of getting clean: water has never been more delicious
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@Deleted User awesome!
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@Deleted User I’m realizing how little water I’ve consumed in the last few years...
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4:16 PM
Feels good to be hydrated, and I’m more able to realize when I’m not it seems
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@Deleted User even I'm thinking of starting meditation soon. Must be great being in the master oogway mode.
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:17 PM
Soda water like LaCroix is helpful too
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I've developed a thing for milk, myself
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Apparently I needed a nap today. Still sober blah blah blah 🐑
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@leaving_again yes...it’s so satisfying
4:17 PM
@Deleted User I'm way more in touch with all my self-care needs. Showering daily, better dental hygiene, and I don't want to just drink pop and eat junk food all day
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:17 PM
There are also many interesting non caffeinated teas
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@Deleted User I relate so much. It’s like I WANT to take care of me...weird! But awesome!
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Just checking in, Day 6 for me.
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@ladchee epic!
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@ladchee congrats!
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@Deleted User I'm so much better about my personal hygiene too!
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For me weed/psychedelics have been a great meditative and spiritual tool, my mistake was upping my dose consistently until I noticed memory loss. Now on a long break to connect with my sober self . Meditation is a tad bit different, just have to get used to it@chaiman
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Yeah, weed really helped open up my mind, but then I started forgetting everything so
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its weird how now that i'm sober that i'm hardly every bloated. feels nice not feeling pregnant constantly
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:21 PM
Working on day 7. I have a pile of morning errands to run and then painting our Livingroom ceiling.
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:21 PM
👮‍♂️ <A reminder that discussions of alcohol, tobacco, other drugs, meds, or supplements as quitting aids are off topic for us.>
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@Deleted User yeah, sounds interesting. It's like watching the traffic and not being a part of it, something like that right.
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@leaving_again good job staying busy!
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:21 PM
Luckily I have a todo list that never seems to end.
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@leaving_again good job!
4:23 PM
@Deleted User I feel guided meditation is better in the beginning. Because I think I won't know when I lose track of my breath and all in the initial sessions..
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Does anyone else feel hunger but when attempting to put food in ones mouth, feel like hurling?
4:25 PM
True @chaiman they're a great help I really like the channels from Michael Sealey and meditative mind on youtube.
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4:25 PM
Yes indeed. @Deleted User barely eaten in two days
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@Deleted User kinda, but minus the hunger part. I don't really feel hungry but I do feel nauseous trying to eat
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@Deleted User took me 4 days to get over that.
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Exercise will help with the hunger
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I mean, my eating habits have always been terrible so
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@dinodicc same..
4:26 PM
@Deleted User exercise seemed to help with everything
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@Deleted User tea and long walks helped my stomach
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I’ve used it as a way to be able to eat for a long time as I have some non related gut issues...I’ll try exercise and tea. Thank guys
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:27 PM
@Deleted User if you struggle with eating in the first weeks of quitting, consider bland and easy to digest foods like after surgery. Jello, applesauce, rice, plain eggs, oatmeal, toast, etc (edited)
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2 WEEK SQUAD, @Jay 🥳 🥳 🥳
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Or smoothies and protein shakes (edited)
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@Deleted User you may also try yoga for the hunger.
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Toast is the shit when you haven't eaten all day and still aren't hungry
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smoothies are so great!
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I've been eating a lot of Tollhouse butter crackers
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Thanks everyone for your support, I never would have made it this far if I didn't find check in here everyday and talk to everyone here
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@Blizz same
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Yeah, same
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Ditto
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@Deleted User those are superb!
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Kinda unrelated but now I want a lunchables
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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What up y’all 4 days here
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:30 PM
I have been lucky on so far and I am eating and sleeping a bit. With the lockdown my life is a lot different than it was the last two times I went through this
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Fell asleep last night with no supplements whatsoever but it took me an hour
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Wassup y’all almost 3 years here
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My sleep schedule is all over the place, I'm probably gonna pass out in like an hour
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@LAMB legend!
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@LAMB wow!
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I’ve been trying to quit weed for awhile now. I mostly smoke after a long day of work and knock out. Never smoked before a shift and don’t plan to but I still want to quit
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@LAMB niiiiice, congrats
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you got it though @Ben Dover !
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Does anyone wake up in the morning and feel nauseated? Like if you cough your going to vomit?
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:31 PM
It's awesome to not have those munchies though. I was torturing myself with too much salt, fat, and sugar every evening
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soon, you'll be sleeping like a champ!
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I think the night sweats dehydrate me so much i wake up sick
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:32 PM
@Ben Dover I get bad gagging this week when brushing my back teeth. Not fun
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Oh god i throw up every time toothpaste goes down my throat
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@Ben Dover It sucks but once you get past the first week, you feel so much better from the sleep you're getting, just keep going until your body is adjusted to REM sleep again
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I keep having moments where my breathing gets really shallow and feels almost like I'm about to have a panic attack
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@Blizz yeah that’s why i stopped the sleep aid and just slept normally
4:33 PM
@dinodicc it’s the anxiety i get it bad
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@dinodicc how far into quitting are you again?
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my cat just pounced a lego helocopter and ran off with the rotor :|
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:33 PM
@dawq I have been an after work functional stoner for decades. It's still a big negative impact on my life.
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When i wake up out of a vivid dream in the morning, it always feels like I’m bout to have a panic attack
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Yeah I feel way more well rested now - took about 2-3 weeks before I was able to fall asleep and wake up at a good time. Make sure you get up at a good time or try to, even if you don’t have anything to do enjoy a coffee, start a new habit.
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I hate it, i always have to step outside for a few minutes. And I'm only on Day 4, i believe
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Well done mate
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:34 PM
(Welcome @dawq !)
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Each day at a time
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@dinodicc , thats really rough, but I promise it will pass
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@dinodicc the weed can feel like a solution to the anxiety, but it's also the producer of that same anxiety for a lot of people creating a vicious cycle, keep going! I was having daily anxiety attacks but now I haven't had one in a week
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:34 PM
@dinodicc there is a lot to process when your mind starts clearing up. Panic attacks make sense when facing life head on
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@dawq you seem to have not abused it at all, whyever then? Just curious about what is it that bothered you
4:34 PM
@Deleted User but sometimes they all gang up on me at once! (edited)
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Howdy all
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Yeah I took it as I thought it was helping my anxiety, in fact it made it a lot worse
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What i learned though is everyone’s withdrawal is different, i watched someone on YouTube do a 30 day detox and he was eating fine by day 2 lol
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4:35 PM
I wish
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Took me a good week to get back to my normal eating habits at least
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I’m on day four, but i paired the non-appetite and put myself on a diet
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@Deleted User I can't remember what my normal eatingis even like
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4:36 PM
Used my vape or had a cig after a meal but it just wasn’t the same at all. Really didn’t look forward to eating at all
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If i can’t eat, might as well diet ya know
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It’s a bit like playing monopoly every night, then suddenly losing the board and wondering what to do with yourself
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Ahhh, all I do is wonder what to do
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Are you a good cook by any chance?
4:37 PM
I lived off takeaways for years and found a new love for cooking meals after I quit
4:37 PM
@Deleted User lol, no
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I'd say I'm a decent cook
4:37 PM
I like baking, don't know about you guys
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@Deleted User I can't remember what my normal eatingis even like
@Deleted User totally get that, after years of smoking and not eating properly, its hard to actually go back to something you.... never really knew in the fiest place, and forgot everything you did know
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Haha we all liked baking here at one point 😉
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Lmaoooo, got me there
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Ah cooking and eating. Ive gained 20 lbs since quitting
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@Deleted User I stick to bread and pies now!
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Soups for me
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@Ghastles agreed buddy, hardest part for me was playing video games not stoned
4:38 PM
@Ghastles there's some things I've never even done sober and I'm going to have to relearn
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4:38 PM
That was always something I did stoned
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I was basically vegan for the last two years (my ex-gf is and therefor i was XD) and i kept cooking vegetarian. Its quite enjoyable - wouldnt have guessed that (edited)
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Had told myself “I can’t do this and can’t do that” without smoking a few joints before
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i honestly havent played a game since quitting
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Day 7!!!! One week!!
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I tried playing spyro first few days and just thought it was odd playing sober
4:39 PM
@Deleted User I made a list of things my addiction voice says I can't do sober and I'm going down the list doing those things
4:40 PM
Eff you addiction voice!
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4:40 PM
Well said mate
4:40 PM
I know exactly what voice you’re talking about
4:40 PM
@katmescudi congrats!
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was seriously considering it, but... i dunno... i kinda.... i wasted years playing games while smoking... so much more i could be doing, than consuming and consuming other peoples creations (edited)
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@katmescudi epic! Same here! 1 week squad.
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Think I got into it by being a smoker myself, then realising putting a bit of green inside it made me feel better than before
4:41 PM
I don’t miss the paranoid mornings, the lack of money or the arguments with friends and family though at all
4:41 PM
@Ghastles there's actually a lot of research about the benefits of video games and how we can transfer games to real life
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:41 PM
@chaiman @katmescudi a nice clean week for me too. In good company it seems
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Oh god, my paranoia started getting bad towards the end
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I’ve had to apologise to a lot of people since quitting on how I treated them during this addictive phase
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@leaving_again one week squad 💯
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I used to hear a sound outside and automatically presume it was the police
4:42 PM
“Must be after me! They’ve got me!”
4:42 PM
Never was
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People would look in my direction and I'd automatically start assuming they were looking right at me
4:43 PM
Always felt watched
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@dinodicc I already think my social anxiety has improved
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4:43 PM
“Do I smell? Do they know I’m stoned?”
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4:43 PM
Every....single.....day
4:43 PM
I really wonder what my mental illness will look like after a few weeks of sobriety
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I usually never smelled.....or so I've heard
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“Do I smell? Do they know I’m stoned?”
@Deleted User exactly! The same words was going in my mind too! Feeling like an outcast.
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My mum used to tell me that even my sweat stank of weed, was horrible
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4:44 PM
Ironically, to deal with those negative and paranoid thoughts, I’d go back to “take the edge off” again
4:44 PM
@Deleted User my mom went years just thinking I smelled weird. Had no idea I was smoking everyday. Still doesn't.
4:44 PM
Well played sir
4:44 PM
I can get a phone call now and not get massive anxiety in my chest wondering if I’m “too stoned” and if they’ll know
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4:45 PM
It’s funny the lies I’ve told myself and others to continue with this addiction
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I mean, I never worried about my parents, never tried hiding it from them
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“It’s good for me, I’d be worse without it!”
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@Deleted User truee
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“It helps me battle my mental health! This is the medicine I need!”
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Lol me when I started
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:45 PM
Keeps me chill
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@Deleted User SAAAAAAME
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:46 PM
Helps me relax my aching muscles
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I’m just over a month sober now from it and that “voice” you have which tells you that is gone
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4:46 PM
It’s not you saying that, it’s the drug
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 4:46 PM
It's not as bad as being drunk
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@leaving_again feeling chill to anxiety, smoking again to chill, round two
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“I could be out there drinking but I’m safer and helping myself by staying in and smoking £20s worth a day!”
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Oh god, first time I was drunk I'm pretty sure I was almost kidnapped, but that's a story for another time
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@Deleted User that's why I've separated my addiction voice from myself. I even try to rethink it in someone else's voice and have named it.
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4:47 PM
I think I still hear a negative voice occasionally but it’s not overpowering anymore
4:47 PM
I think that’s just me now when I do something wrong
4:48 PM
@Deleted User the police paranoia was an everyday affair for me too, for years. Never really bummed me, but now to think of it. It's freedom from this anxiety, however little
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4:48 PM
@Deleted User DumB Donald
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@Deleted User if it's so, my addiction voice was so insecure. That's good thinking.
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For years of my life, the only thing that made me happy was weed, my dealer being in town and junk food
4:48 PM
@chaiman it's actually advice I got here!
4:49 PM
I cut most people out of my life, just so they wouldn’t bother me and would let me “smoke in peace”
4:49 PM
@Deleted User I lost my best friend
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@Deleted User this is an awesome group!
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It sucks man
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:49 PM
That's one of the values of meditation. it gives you practice in separating yourself from your thought stream, considering it objectively, and realizing that not everything that pops into your head is a beautiful seedling worthy of being raised into a mighty oak. 🙂
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Tbh, if it wasn’t for this group and being able to find others in the same boat, I think I’d have given up the fight to stopping weed a long time ago
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I’m very thankful for this being a thing
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@Deleted User I lost my best friend
@Deleted User damn man.
4:51 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction Roger that, good sir!
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I'm more of a bonsai tree but absolutely agree (edited)
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“It’s not addictive, how can you be addicted to it”, my friends would say, who were all in the same boat as me really
4:51 PM
I think there’s so many people out there who want to quit but are stuck in that bubble
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@M1NDFEEDER American Beauty inspired cover. Epic.
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Ugh, even when I started I still knew it was addictive
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Completely agree mate
4:52 PM
@Deleted User the idea that it's not addictive kept me addicted for a long time. It still has my friends
4:52 PM
Another sad thing about quitting is realising that there’s a bunch of people you won’t hang out with or speak to much anymore because you have
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Yeah that part, like 99% of my friends smoke still
4:53 PM
Plus, a lot of my family
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Yes but everything can be addictive. We've to fix ourselves to be able to have healthy relationship with substances./ Or quit cold turkey, whichever works
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at the same time....
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Think of the power you have now though to be able to sit with those friends and family members and refuse a toke
4:53 PM
@Deleted User yeah, I haven't experienced that yet due to COVID-19, but I'm not looking forward to losing 3 out of my 4 friends
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i think its good, when you realise that, and like
4:53 PM
come to realise you dont WANT to be around those people
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4:53 PM
its... liberating
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I’m thankful in a way that I’ve been a solitary user for years now. I think it makes it easier that the people in my life don’t do it.
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4:53 PM
Well said
4:54 PM
Think of those people you hung out with when stoned and you’ll realise if you still want to see them or not sober
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Another sad thing about quitting is realising that there’s a bunch of people you won’t hang out with or speak to much anymore because you have
@Deleted User right in the feels.
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@Ghastles I can't imagine they seem as fun and interesting when they're stoned and I'm not
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exactly
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You realise how dopey they are
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I live quite far out into the countryside and a lot of people who came up would do so to smoke
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Hey guys
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And how dopey you are now NOT
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joel? how are you feeling? out of the ER?
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I wonder if these newfound friends would bother now I’m not smoking
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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Yeah are you doing better?
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Oh fuck your remembered ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Memory is improving I see 😉
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No not better I was in lots of pain these last couple hours
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#bromance
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Kidney stones hurt
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4:55 PM
Y’all are so sweet
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@Joel I'm sorry
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Damn, that sucks to hear, sorry man
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Damn man, hope you’re alright fella
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Good luck this weekend friends I know Saturday and Sunday’s are the hardest
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Saturday’s are for the boys
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@Joel sorry to hear that bro. Hope you feel better soon.
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@Joel way to stay sober through the pain!
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Thanks I appreciate it
4:56 PM
Hahaha I have hydrocodone I’m not 100% sober when the pain gets bad
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@Joel did they give you something to help them break up and pass?
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I just ain’t smoking
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I mean, at least you're off weed
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Yes ghastle
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4:57 PM
No just piss them out
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4:57 PM
It’s only 4mm
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"only"
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 4:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 5pm US Eastern time (UTC-4) today! I'm happy to see you all, especially the new faces! I hope to see each of you back!
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Yeah piss them out, damn straight.
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kidney stone is no joke...
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that sounds painful as fuck
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See y’all later!!!
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👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Well, it's been nice guys, bye :)
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See you guys later
4:58 PM
Bye guys!
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See you at 2pm
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hope they get through quick!!!
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Thank you ❤️
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@Joel stay strong buddy, and see ya later guys.
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What no last minute typer to annoy subduction? (edited)
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4:59 PM
Byeeee
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Clown emoji
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i love @Moderator -- Subduction's closing messages tbh (edited)
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I love subduction
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 5:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. I need to go drink more water, kidney stones run in my family. See you all later!
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5:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
5:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ Hi @everyone, Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
10:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
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What’s up everyone
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hey folks how’s it going
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Hey! I’m on day 2 and dreading another night of no sleep
♥️ 2
10:00 PM
How are y’all?
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Hi guys! 68 hours here, and I am so effing irritable
10:00 PM
Day 3 wohoo
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Hi, 20 days here 😄
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(sorry @Moderator -- Subduction)
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Into 8th day
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Well done mate
10:01 PM
Day 3 and being a couch potato
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Im new member and im really happy to join you guys and be able to talk with people that are in same boat
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:02 PM
Welcome @mdn99 !
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I’ve spent most of the day watching the show intervention. Pretty inspiring. They can do it, I can do it, you can do it, we can do it!!
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im curious if anyone else is experiencing random periods of anxiety at any time without reason? (edited)
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I ran the Bourne series marathon!
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@mdn99 it happens a lot
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I took a walk by the river today. Passed by some dudes smoking spliffs, it smelled so good but I resisted.
10:05 PM
@Deleted User it is reassuring to see someone in deeper crisis than I
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 10:05 PM
@mdn99 welcome to the secret society of people who used to get high every day
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@Deleted User damn.
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@Deleted User Absolutely
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:05 PM
@mdn99 The regulars here know that I like to recommend a book to people for anxiety -- "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Have you run across it yet?
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KaleBasedDiet 16/05/2020 10:05 PM
Day 5 going strong! Withdrawal-based anxieties aren't too bad today and I learned that I've actually had a sleep apnea this whole time thru my doctor so I'm gonna be seeing a sleep specialist soon. Also my psych told me I'm gonna start reducing dosages for meds soon so thats cool
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leaving_again 16/05/2020 10:06 PM
I didn't know there would be reading involved....
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:06 PM
@leaving_again (As long as nearly 400 people can keep a secret)
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@Moderator -- Subduction i never heard about it but if it may help im more than happy to get and read it
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@KaleBasedDiet I'm hoping to reduce my meds as well by quitting
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 16/05/2020 10:06 PM
hello
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10:07 PM
tomorrow is 3 weeks!
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partytime 3
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I live in the central time zone, so I have this discord to look forward to, rather than 4:20 (edited)
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yayTux 2
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 16/05/2020 10:08 PM
that's smart
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:08 PM
@mdn99 It's a course in cognitive behavioral therapy that you can work through on your own. I recommend reading the Introduction, which I rarely ever do, because it establishes the clinical basis for why CBT works, and even why CBT from a book works. It did a lot for me for anxiety.
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Hey guys, tried to get sober a few times, failed but we've reset again
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@honestly relapse isn't a failure unless you stay relapsed
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@Moderator -- Subduction I have a book called "mind over mood", have you read it? I never read it.
10:09 PM
It's self help therapy.
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@Moderator -- Subduction could you provide me ebook version?
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KaleBasedDiet 16/05/2020 10:09 PM
@Deleted User talk to your psych abt it! When I first quit on like day 1 or 2 or smth since I continued my normal meds (clinical depression) my brain activity and anxiety skyrocketed. Never mentioned marijuana usage to them before and I made it clear that I am going cold turkey so I got other treatments and being reduced the ones I have. Sometimes communication is key, yo!
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Thanks man, that gave me direction @Deleted User
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:10 PM
@chaiman I haven't, I'll put it on the list.
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@KaleBasedDiet I'll talk to my doctor
pogger 1
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:10 PM
@mdn99 I can't, I'm afraid. 😦
10:11 PM
I read it on paper, like they did in the 1960s
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Ooh back in the olden days... Evening all 🐑
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also guys, did you visit psychiatrist with your symptoms or you just dealt with it?
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KaleBasedDiet 16/05/2020 10:12 PM
Tbh I'm glad I live with my parents. All I'm doing rn instead of summer classes (since I was open to them about my withdrawals) is watching Total Drama series lmao
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my psychiatrist wanted me to take psychotropic medication (not sure if i spelled it right), anyone else was also recommended it by doc?
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@M1NDFEEDER 02.42 am here! 😎
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I've gotten like 25% through Feeling Good, tends to send me to sleep though unfortunately
10:13 PM
Eek @chaiman it's 2212 here so good morning?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:13 PM
👮‍♂️ <A reminder that discussions of alcohol, tobacco, other drugs, meds, or supplements as quitting aids are off topic for us.>
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@M1NDFEEDER yeah, good morning sounds fine.
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KaleBasedDiet 16/05/2020 10:13 PM
@mdn99 I told my psych abt marijuana withdrawls and anxiety and I got prescribed hydroxyzine 10mg. Make sure u mention weed history and that ur trying to quit otherwise they'll prescribe you a benzo and you'll develop a dependency to that
10:14 PM
Thats what my psych told me at least
10:14 PM
She said there isnt a lot of treatment for marijuana-induced withdrawal symptoms and that most of them pass with time
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PAWS and CHS seem to be quite unheard of by the masses and doctors
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10:15 PM
I have both yay!
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Talking about therapy, I guess everyone should victor Frankl's book "man's search for meaning" at least once. It's a gem. For the uninitiated, he survived auschwitz and later went on to invent a new branch of psychology called logotherapy.
10:15 PM
Read*
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@Moderator -- Subduction I started this today, I'm very optimistic about its use!
🙂 1
10:16 PM
Hello BTW
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What's PAWS @M1NDFEEDER
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Post acute withdrawals
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So, I decided to use some of the money I'm going to save on a new tattoo. What image means freedom or sobriety to you? (edited)
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Basically even though I'm 90 + days clear I still have issues with withdrawals
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@Deleted User hmmmm (Joe Rogan voice)
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@M1NDFEEDER id love to hear more about those issues, i really want to believe it will get better with time, can you tell us what is still bothering you?
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That's a great question
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Not an eagle, lol
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There's no image for freedom to me it's more like a weight lifted off
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@M1NDFEEDER do you mean getting no tattoo is freedom?
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Oh so I'm beyond the initial sweats anxiety insomnia anger big cravings that type of jazz but I have real mood shifts. Fine for days then pffft utter despair I guess. But I'm sober and determined enough to know that smoking weed will only worsen that so I don't.
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@M1NDFEEDER CBT might help with this?
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Oh no @chaiman I'm getting a tattoo as part of my reward for quitting but it's not related to quitting if that makes sense
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@Deleted User that's really a great question still. got me thinking. What is freedom
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:22 PM
👮‍♂️ <CBD falls under our supplements rule.>
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@Moderator -- Subduction I said CBT haha
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@M1NDFEEDER yeahh
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In process of @robboski even have a book!
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:23 PM
👮‍♂️ <And I totally misread that. This is your one opportunity to ignore me.>
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It's just hard woth lockdown too
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@M1NDFEEDER I don't want an obvious tattoo related to sobriety, I just want it to mean something re: my journey to recovery
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@M1NDFEEDER do you live alone or with others?
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Mine is going to have ivy on it 🤷🏼‍♀️
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10:24 PM
I live with someone terminally ill. That's a story for another day...
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@M1NDFEEDER thats awful, sorry to hear that! I can see why it must be hard
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@M1NDFEEDER @Deleted User you guys are dropping the tattoo idea to my head too
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It's life!
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KaleBasedDiet 16/05/2020 10:25 PM
Sorry to hear papo
10:25 PM
Keep going strong tho!
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@M1NDFEEDER doesn't make it any less shitty though
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KaleBasedDiet 16/05/2020 10:25 PM
Best of luck to your fam!
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People die. As subduction said many moon ago, at least sober I'm in a better placed to deal with that
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I live with someone terminally ill. That's a story for another day...
@M1NDFEEDER must be hard for you, but your msgs are all high energy, so cudos for that!
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I mean, I was spending $20 a day on dabs. That'll add up to a pretty sweet tattoo
10:26 PM
@M1NDFEEDER hope you’re taking good care of you, too!
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Eek I'm under the microscope today ahahah
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10:26 PM
<Returns to lurker mode>
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@M1NDFEEDER the joys of sharing!
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@Deleted User hmmmmm
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good afternoon
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I saw a friend i hadn't seen for a while today who id usually blow off because i was too high and socially anxious
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Oh I over share in here ALL THE TIME
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10:28 PM
I'm the resident nudist
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:28 PM
@M1NDFEEDER There is a theoretical ability to over-share here I suppose, but we haven't reached it yet.
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@M1NDFEEDER both take great courage
10:29 PM
I tried to get some support from a friend the other day. I've been there for her all through her ED, but I couldn't even get a reply.
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Anyone else dealing with anger issues? I feel this rage inside of me and I hate it
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@ThisGuise YES
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@Deleted User sucks man I can’t even play cod without wanting to throw my controller at the screen lol
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@ThisGuise I am just irrationally perpetually pissed
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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@Deleted User I’m just gonna do a bunch of pushups and sit ups till I can’t cause I feel like I’m about to blow up for some reason
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As long as it's on topic I guess. But yeah life can suck but weed doesn't help that, it just makes digging out of holes harder
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Dialectical behavior therapy recommends intense exercise, temperature changes, and body scanning to get through distress.
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10:31 PM
@ThisGuise used to get these bouts of rage in my younger years, during 2-3 day withdrawals when visiting family Over the years I've learnt to just breathe and let it pass without acting on it.
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@ThisGuise have you asked yourself why do you feel angry?
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The hot and cold flashes are killin me
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Is it normal to hate the smell of weed after quitting?
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@Deleted User appreciate it man I already know it’s years of suppressed emotions
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@robboski I miss the smell. Can't be around it though. Too triggering
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I smelt it in the park today and it really made me think how disgustingly overpowering the smell is
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I do @robboski I'm not exactly "normal" though (edited)
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also guys im curious if occasional "weird" headaches are happening to you too?
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@ThisGuise have you asked yourself why do you feel angry?
@chaiman honestly no...I definitely need to do some soul searching
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@robboski we had a skunk under our porch when I was very young. Combine that with daily smoking, and suddenly it's not "skunky," it smells like "home"
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@ThisGuise try journaling bro.
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I found some sobriety journal prompts that were really helpful
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@Deleted User I don't know where you're from but in the UK all we have is skunk and you can smell it from 100m away easily
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Will do brother 🤘🏻
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@robboski Illinois at the time
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@Deleted User Illinois has to be my favourite state name (forgive my spelling of favourite)
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Hey there FamiLeavers! Sry I'm late to the party.
👋 4
10:39 PM
Can't believe it is day FOUR!
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Happy Saturday btw, the weekend may be the hardest time to stay sober but we're killing it
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@Joon congrats!
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@robboski I would have agreed with you pre-lockdown. Now I don't even know what day it is lol
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I no longer know what day it is anymore half the time
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Everyday is holiday
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@M1NDFEEDER the days of the week have lost all meaning
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Although at least they're all sober ones I guess
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It's even harder to stay busy and distracted with corona
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I no longer know what day it is anymore half the time
@M1NDFEEDER that’s where I’m trying to get!
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You lose count with your numbers if that helps
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Did your guys' creative endeavors come more or less easily after sobriety?
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@Deleted User don't have access to creative side to my brain. Never had.
10:46 PM
Typos. I see it is getting late.
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:46 PM
@Deleted User More difficult at first, but infinitely better after I had re-learned how to do things without getting high. No comparison in terms of usable work at the end.
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10:48 PM
I think of weed as a creativity simulator. It turns up the dials on that feeling you get when you're being creative, but the work itself is often mediocre.
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10:48 PM
To legitimately feel like you're firing on all cylinders you need to be firing on all cylinders.
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I've been singing the last 4 days (sober) and it has been great
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@Moderator -- Subduction there are people who do their work when they are psychedelics. So that isn't 100% correct.
10:49 PM
on*
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I think the reason drugs are often associated with creativity is simply because they create a different state of mind. So you are perceiving things differently, not necessarily any more or less creatively in my opinion.
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Weed would make me feel like I had this great flow. I'm hoping I get that sober, too. So far, not so good
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:50 PM
@chaiman , we aren't here for psychedelics, and those people are on their own journey. Lots of people work high too, but I couldn't do it. 🙂
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I think the reason drugs are often associated with creativity is simply because they create a different state of mind. So you are perceiving things differently, not necessarily any more or less creatively in my opinion.
@Joon THIS
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But it's only day 3
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Day fourrrrr
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I’m actually learning photoshop after putting it off for years
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@Moderator -- Subduction true that
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When does the sleep get easier
10:51 PM
I’m on day 4
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@ThisGuise a worthwhile endeavor
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In fact, I think true creativity has a tremendous amount of thought and intention. This notion of someone throwing paint at a canvas in a fit of inspiration to create magical art is more a hollywood trope. Just my 2 cents 🙂
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@Ben Dover oof, nightmares really got to me last night.
10:52 PM
@Joon singing is usually better sober for me too
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I haven’t had nightmares, they’re usually dreams about women
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@Ben Dover I guess the "when" question is probably a function of how long and how much/less you were smoking.
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I woke up gasping in the middle of the night. Luckily my weighted blanket helped me get back to sleep
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I went to sleep yesterday without m** and it took me a bit longer but i don’t want to take any substance
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Alright everyone. It is getting late for me here. I'm gonna call it a day. Sunday is no electronics day for me. So until Monday!
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I hate that I associate warm sunny days with getting high outside
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@Ben Dover if you're talking about melatonin, the side-effects totally mirror withdrawal symptoms if you take too much or too little
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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@Deleted User Do you do any singing now?
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Not since I quit. But when I would record I would do the singing parts first before the spliffs and then do the guitars and others
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Peace out sober folks, take it easy out there byeeee 🐑
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@Zoltan Totally! I was out in the park this afternoon. I saw a couple lay out a blanket and start smoking a joint. I bolted from the scene lol!
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10:57 PM
@Ben Dover certain kinds of food are also more conducive to sleep. Maybe have a look at that?
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 10:58 PM
👉 Okay folks, we'll be closing in two minutes, but we'll be back at 11am US Eastern Time (UTC-4) tomorrow. Great to you all, and I hope to see each of you tomorrow!
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Bye!
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Good night guys
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See ya folks! Stay strong. Looking forward to seeing ya'll with a +1 (in the day count) tomorrow!!
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See you on the flip side
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See y’all tomorrow, another day
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 11:00 PM
👉 Okay all, I'm going to close the doors. I'm going to go dust off the trumpet and see how it goes. See you all tomorrow!
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Oh damn I missed the session hope you guys are all good :)
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Moderator -- Subduction 16/05/2020 11:00 PM
🙂
11:00 PM
!lock #leaves_lounge Locking...
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Locking...
11:00 PM
dynoSuccess Locked channel #leaves_lounge
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⏳ Hi @everyone! Leaves Chat will be starting soon! ⏳
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Leaves Lounge is open for the next hour @everyone! We're the official server of the r/leaves community on Reddit. Before we get started, a few things to keep in mind: 1️⃣ If you haven't yet made made the decision to quit for good or you're high right now you're still welcome, but we just ask you to listen and not participate. 2️⃣ We are a place of kindness. Please be patient and understanding, even if people aren't being patient with you. 3️⃣ Please no medical questions, or discussion of other drugs, supplements, or remedies, including CBD. 4️⃣ Please no links to outside media, studies, or other resources. The only expert we want to hear from is you talking about you. Okay, enough of all that, let's get started...
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:00 PM
!unlock #leaves_lounge Unlocking...
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Unlocking...
4:00 PM
dynoSuccess Unlocked channel #leaves_lounge
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:00 PM
Hello Leaves! I'm Subduction and I'm your moderator for today. If you haven't been before, here's how it works: Introduce yourself, tell us where you are in your quit and how you're feeling. This can go fast, so don't wait for a quiet moment, just jump in and say hi! Now you go!
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What up y’all
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Day 4!
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Hey everyone
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I messed up yesterday big time
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@Ben Dover what happened?
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:01 PM
New here.. Hello everyone
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@dudedownthestreet welcome!
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@Deleted User i didn’t smoke, but i did activities to give myself a hangover which intensifies my withdrawal so much
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Good morning everyone. Day 25!
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:01 PM
@Deleted User thanks mate
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Morning everyone
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:01 PM
Welcome @dudedownthestreet ! happy you made it.
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@Ben Dover stay strong!
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So yeah I’m on day 5 now
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4:02 PM
I know, i didn’t do it as a substitute to like fall asleep, i wa just with some friends during the day
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Hi all, day 4 here, wish I was feeling better but telling myself it’s temporary
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Have any strategies to get through the day @Ben Dover ?
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@Ben Dover stay strong and hydrated
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But until my withdrawals get easier I’m not drinkin nothing but water
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IT IS TEMPORARY @Deleted User
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@Deleted User I'm so sensitive today, someone was mean on reddit and i effing cried
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I mean, I cried after spilling a drink
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My stomach hurts
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:03 PM
My libido acting up had to start the journey..
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I cried today too lmao
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:03 PM
@Ben Dover I like the "I didn't smoke" part of that story very much.
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@Moderator -- Subduction thank ya boss
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:03 PM
Strated by deleting my plugs number 😁
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Good job @dudedownthestreet
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@Deleted User awe 😦 hugs
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4:04 PM
@dudedownthestreet that's a great first step
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Hey guys, almost 10 months clean and loving it ama
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@artemis16 do you still experience any cravings?
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I told my friends i used to smoke with that I’m done forever, and i left my groupchat with them
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Also great job on 5 days! That's super
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My emotions were out of whack for days after I quit, and they're still not perfect on day 18 - it's all part of the process, you're both showing real strength to get through it @Ben Dover @Deleted User
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:05 PM
Welcome @artemis16 , 10 months is awesome!
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mynameisjeff4273 17/05/2020 4:05 PM
Hi everyone I’m Suraj. I am on day 1 (slipped from a 3 week streak yesterday). Today I feel guilty but hoping space from my roommates and friends who smoke will help me stick to things this time around.
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@mynameisjeff4273 I thought your name was Jeff
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4:06 PM
Lol
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It's ok, it happens, but good job on deciding to stay sober :) @mynameisjeff4273 (edited)
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@Deleted User no. It's.more mental really. I don't think I had withdrawals. But no I don't crave it and it helps that I don't really talk to or hang with my old crew that did toke
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@mynameisjeff4273 the important thing is that you're ready to carry on, shows a good mindset (we all make mistakes sometimes)
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Thank you @Moderator -- Subduction ! :)
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@mynameisjeff4273 a relapse is not a failure unless you stay relapsed
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Darknet Shrimp Merchant 17/05/2020 4:07 PM
hello. very little sleep for me last night but i'm officially 3 weeks sober
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mynameisjeff4273 17/05/2020 4:07 PM
I appreciate the support friends!
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The weird thing is for me, i haven’t had any cravings, just every physical symptom
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I've had a few cravings, but not a lot
4:08 PM
More like a thought here and there
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:08 PM
How do i get REM sleep back?
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Anyone who i talk to in real life think I’m crazy Bc I’m having withdrawals
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Honestly, you just have to wait it out @dudedownthestreet
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Hey guys, didn't take a tech detox today as planned. 8th day successfully running.
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@dudedownthestreet it'll take a couple of weeks but it will come around..and you'll get the best sleep you probably haven't gotten in years
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:08 PM
@dinodicc any special tricks
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@dudedownthestreet sober sleep consecutively works for me
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@dudedownthestreet don't worry, you'll get lots of REM soon
4:09 PM
Day 4. Hey all
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I wish I could help, but my sleep is still terrible as well, sorry @dudedownthestreet
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The more days you sleep sober the better your sleep with get
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I'm having terrible nightmares and nightsweats
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maxatrillion. 17/05/2020 4:09 PM
Day 22 here, just here to say good morning! Hope all is well with everyone.
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I'm starting to get the sweats, no nightmares
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:09 PM
@dinodicc did you change your diet
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The craving will eventually come back, happens in waves. It's good you don't have any now but it will be important to remain vigilant in the future @Ben Dover (edited)
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But i did have a dream abt smoking :(
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I just can’t wait until my stomach doesn’t feel like i ate a brick
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@Deleted User just be strong and remember the reasons you quit. This is just all the bad stuff leaving you. Tell yourself that you rather go through this now. Then do it all again right?
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I know lots of people just have vivid dreams, I'm prone to nightmares
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@dudedownthestreet not drastically, just started drinking less sugary things and my eating has been terrible for a while
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@artemis16 I keep reminding myself that I never want to do day 1 ever again
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:11 PM
@dinodicc I still get smoking dreams after 21 years quit. 🙂
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Artemis is my dogs name!
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@Moderator -- Subduction I'll admit, it was odd to have one
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Usually when first quitting people are so caught up with the initial physical withdrawal, mental withdrawals, and suddenly having a lot more energy that the craving goes away for awhile. It's after the initial withdrawals pass, and uncomfortable events happen in life, that more triggers for cravings arise. (edited)
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@dinodicc I dream about smoking often. And I actually had a dream where I felt stoned.it was so weird. Like actually feeling it. I woke up scared that I actually got high and realised it was a dream 😂
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@Earth good to know
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@Earth I’m ready for the physical symptoms to stop, please bring the cravings lol
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@artemis16 Haha in my dream I was rolling and then woke up right before sparking
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@Deleted User I do that too :) and it helps me
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:13 PM
@dinodicc I think your brain uses your experiences, smoking will always be part of our experience. You learn to enjoy the relief of waking up and discovering it wasn't real.
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Not sure about quitting, but I know I tell myself I should stop smoking the next day. It’s been 2 days since i last smoked. I’m going on a hike soon and it’s so tempting to take a hit before heading out
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@Mattholemue you got this, man
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:13 PM
Welcome @Mattholemue !
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Personally for the digestive issues I found having a higher-fat diet helps just because it's easier to stomach. Not keto, just having more fatty foods preferably health fats like fish, nuts, oils, etc Easier for the body to digest as well Some people have also had success with fasting but I don't suggest it as it intensifies the mental withdrawals, but it's a way for them to pass faster. (edited)
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maxatrillion. 17/05/2020 4:13 PM
@Ben Dover you are almost out of the woods at day 5, stay strong!
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dudedownthestreet 17/05/2020 4:14 PM
Not sure about quitting, but I know I tell myself I should stop smoking the next day. It’s been 2 days since i last smoked. I’m going on a hike soon and it’s so tempting to take a hit before heading out
@Mattholemue you are not alone, first day today. New here
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a lot of demons and godesses in here today!
4:14 PM
@maxatrillion. ! welcome back! how far are you in?
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Do the tricks to detox from THC for urinalysis speed up withdrawal or make it more intense?
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@maxatrillion. i know man the light is right there just gotta keep going
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:14 PM
<Subduction renames channel #LeavesPantheon>
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@dinodicc looks like you got this ! In your dreams as well 💪
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maxatrillion. 17/05/2020 4:15 PM
@Ghastles 22 days, I’ve been reading the chat everyday though. I had some time to participate this morning.
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@artemis16 yeah I guess my dreams support quitting, too ☺😂
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I feel like I’m almost at the top of the mountain i just gotta get to the other side
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I'm a motorway 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Actually, i did yoga outside today and it was perfect
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@dudedownthestreet thanks! Maybe I won’t toke today
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Personally for the digestive issues I found having a higher-fat diet helps just because it's easier to stomach. Not keto, just having more fatty foods preferably health fats like fish, nuts, oils, etc
@Earth I agree! Personally, i found milk and other high calcium foods help coat the stomach too.
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Physical exercise helps make the physical withdrawals pass faster in my experience. Especially making the apetite come back to normal. I'll say in general though, the digestive issues usually take like 3-5 months to alleviate. Weed has a big effect on your gut flora and probiotic health.
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@dinodicc thanks!
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Definitely recommend
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@dinodicc I've been trying yoga. It's be easier if I weren't so damn sweaty
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@maxatrillion. glad to hear it!
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My palms are too slick for downward dog. Gross, I know
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The sweaty palms man kill me
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Ahhh, I sweat terribly, that's why I tried it outside this time
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All day non stop just wet hands
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I theorize that taking probiotics and eating very clean might actually make the digestive track recover faster, eating shit food will only make it take longer. But I also suggest not jumping into any fad/extreme diets even though one may feel motivated to do so with the new fresh amount of energy and clarity they have.
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Greeting lads. 1 week finally! (for the first time)
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@Ben Dover yeah the sweats are annoying but for me they only lasted about 6 days, so you're almost through it
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:19 PM
@georgeka congrats!!
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I'm nauseous because of the withdrawals so I can't eat. Then I'm hungry so I get nauseous.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:20 PM
I just hit the two week mark today
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@Deleted User I feel it, besides the hunger part
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@Deleted User I’m hungry so i make food, then once the foods done I’m sick
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@Earth I think thats pretty spot on. my stomach / digestive troubles passed really quick, and In (fairly big) part would attribute that to the tonnes of (homemade) yoghurt smoothies i am drinking (edited)
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leaving_again 17/05/2020 4:21 PM
Starting day 8 and week 2!
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@Ghastles imma try some vanilla ice cream. At least if I can't keep it down it won't be so bad
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@leaving_again good job :)
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awesome @Ghastles
4:22 PM
Cannabis actually has a big effect on gut health. People have been starting to get rushed to hospitals for Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome which one of the main symptoms was excessive vomiting
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@Earth that can be reversed over time?
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hey guys! 🙂 i haven't been around in a while but i just cleared a month i'm so happy!
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@Earth I have a friend with that who still won't quit. I'm afraid they won't be a friend much longer now that I'm sober
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you might inspire them 🙂 quitting is a personal journey for everyone
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@Earth ugh. yes. I remember entire days, curled in my bathtub in a hot shower, because of CHS (edited)
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@Earth I'm glad I decided to pick myself up before I hit rock bottom, I might have just stayed there
4:24 PM
@Lauren congrats! How do you a feel a month out?
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I wasn't even thinking of quitting until all my friends had quit 1 by 1 - be the inspiration @Deleted User!
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agreed! even if you might drift apart now, if they choose to get sober, you might be able to come back together and forge an even stronger friendship
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:24 PM
@Deleted User It's hard but I had to cut someone out and it was a huge relief after. This was before I could see my own addiction but she scared me with how much she smoked and how unstable it makes her
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it absolutely can, and will mess with your body, if abused. (edited)
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:25 PM
She stole $20K of weed from her ex-boyfriend ffs
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Oh my
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@Deleted User thank you so much!! ❤️ i feel awesome actually, i have whole days where i don't think about weed, the cravings are so much better. i feel like my days are longer without the afternoon/evening/night filled with just getting high and being a zombie. it took a bit to relearn how to appreciate movies, food, and video games without weed but i think my relationship with all of them is better now, it definitely wasn't good for me to sit on my butt and eat every evening!
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4:26 PM
oh my gosh, so glad you were able to make that decision sesmo!
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@Lauren I also feel like there's more time in the day, but I'm struggling to fill that extra time rn
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yeah... jeeze. you dont need anyone like that around you @SeeYouNextTuesday
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:27 PM
@Ghastles Absolutely not! It was a long time coming
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4:27 PM
@Lauren @Deleted User Isn't the "extra" time amazing? I was always rushing around to get things done because I felt like I didn't have enough time to do anything when the reality was I just wanted to get high ASAP
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I feel like the addicted brain makes the day drag because it just wants you to smoke to pass the hours - for me this went away after a few days and I replaced dead hours with productive ones!
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@Deleted User i was absolutely right there with you, it felt like pointless time... and that's how i felt when i was a daily user, the moment i didn't know what to do i turned to weed. :/ you'll find things and your body will pick up a new habit! that's when i really felt my cravings go away, when certain times or activities didn't remind me of weed
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I DO miss the fast forward button weed gave at times
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I mean, it was always the answer when I was bored, and I was always bored
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@M1NDFEEDER this is the dumbest analogy but have you ever seen the movie "click" with adam sandler? i felt like that, that i was using weed to fast forward time and events and experiences, and i realized i'd end up just like the main character, having missed all of these important moments because i was zonked
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yeah. its... something you get use to. have a task you dread coming up.... smoke up,
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maxatrillion. 17/05/2020 4:29 PM
I took up photography this last week with my new found free time, i still have a lot to learn, but it’s great being able to get outside and not cower in my apartment all day after work being bored and stoned (edited)
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@Lauren I'm lucky this discord server is available during 4:20
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and it passes so much faster
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@maxatrillion. wow i love photography!! i'd love to see some of your photos if you ever want to share! ❤️
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One of the things that helped me a lot when dealing with the loss of cutting people out or moving on past people who fucked me over were forgiveness meditations. I realized a lot of my smoking was linked to resentments I had towards other people, and towards myself. Smoking was my way of dealing with those feelings cause I could never bring myself to the point of being forgiving. Nowadays I forgive people not necessarily because I'm okay with what they did, but because the burden of being mad at them robs me of joy. I forgive not for them, but for myself. It's like a weight lifted off my chest.
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I hate Adam Sandler so no @Lauren 😆
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Somehow I look at the clock everyday at that time
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@Deleted User right! i was so lucky to be on here during 4/20
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:29 PM
@M1NDFEEDER Agree. I remember sarcastically saying in rehab, "So I I'm just supposed to live through everything now?"
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@M1NDFEEDER amen to that LOL 😆😆
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I can certainly say each day seems less long than the first
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👉 @everyone This is my usual halfway post to lurkers -- I know this moves fast, but please just jump in and say hello! We'd love to know how you're doing!
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The first day feels like 60 hours
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maxatrillion. 17/05/2020 4:30 PM
@Lauren it’s going to be a while before they are any good. I did enjoy just getting out there and snapping pics though.
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:30 PM
I thought I fell into a time warp or something the first few days
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Hey everyone! Just checking in, day 5 for me 🙂
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And then you don’t even fall asleep, so might as well make that an 80 hour day 1 lmao
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In a way I was glad that the whole "month of 4/20" was more or less cancelled - it would have been an excuse for me to celebrate my addiction
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@Ben Dover yes, and I keep telling myself I'm never doing day 1 again. It's like a mantra at this point
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Hey :) @Joon
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@maxatrillion. that's the best though, like photography gives you such an appreciation for things without having to be high! they're already good because you're taking them! 🙂
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4:30 PM
congrats @Joon !!! that's fantastic!
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@Deleted User that’s what keeps me away i don’t want to suffer this ever again, and I’m too far along to go back
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@Joon Day 5 for me as well!
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@Ben Dover I usually expect not to get any sleep those first few days lol.
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that's amazing @ms4039 !! the first days are the hardest, congrats! ❤️
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@Ben Dover Day 2 wasn't so bad, 3+4 are pretty terrible
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This day 5 beating my ass
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@Moderator -- Subduction I started reading Feeling Good last night! It seems really good.
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I'm going to eat, shave my head and nap in that order. Stay sober sheeple 🐑💛
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@Ben Dover you're so close to getting through the hard part! I found week 2 infinitely easier than week 1
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You're getting through week 1 @Ben Dover , it's going to get easier very soon! Hang in there!
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:34 PM
@Joon Good to hear! It really helped me. My best advice is, as he says repeatedly, is that you actually have to do the exercises. Writing things down. Thinking it through isn't enough. I don't understand why there is such a difference, but there is a big difference.
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My main issue today is that my SO left everything unlocked so I have easy access.
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can you lock it yourself?
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But I think that's the real test of my willpower I might need
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@Moderator -- Subduction Yep, I plan to do at least some of the exercises. I went through his depression checklist and turns out I am fairly depressed, which I had no idea about.
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Hi all, I’m on day 3 and i am sweating and feel sick, still gotta keep going!
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@fizziebanta you got this!
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@Deleted User you don't need that shit, you've already proven how strong you are by getting this far!
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@Ghastles lol, I did, and threw the key on a high shelf where I can't find it. My SO might not either, but whatevs
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You got this @fizziebanta we gonna crush it
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you're amazing @fizziebanta !! day 3 is when things started to kick my ass haha, you've got this!
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hahahaha @Deleted User great!
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@fizziebanta that's awesome! Keep going, it's going to get easier!
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I keep having moments of immense boredom, those are the worst
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bet he will remember to lock it tomorrow!
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Thanks guys 🔥
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I’ve had quarter ounce sitting on my dresser this whole time
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@Moderator -- Subduction Yep, I plan to do at least some of the exercises. I went through his depression checklist and turns out I am fairly depressed, which I had no idea about.
@Joon it's easy to ignore depression when you're high all the time. I've been doing it for years
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I’m just going to give it away
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:38 PM
Toss it!
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Flush it!
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You’ve got some mean self control @Ben Dover
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BURN IT WITH FIRE... oh wait
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@Ben Dover just as long as you give it to someone who's not addicted
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Haha im not going to flush it, my friend has joint pain from football still he smokes before bed it helps him
4:39 PM
Yea i wouldn’t give it to someone who’s a heavy user
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4:39 PM
That quarter ounce will last him 2 1/2 weeks
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thats fair man. It might not be good for us, but doesnt mean it wont help someone else.
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Exactly
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That’s true, it’s not bad for everyone so if someone can make good use of it why not!
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are you able to see him today? you mentioned you were really craving, so it may be good to get rid of it as soon as possible. (edited)
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One time I decided to clean my rig, filled it with rubbing alcohol when high, forgot, inhaled it... And that should have been a big sign to quit
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My eyes need a screen break (and probably an eye test tbh) so I'm getting off but I'll be back tonight! Hope everyone has a good day x
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:42 PM
@Deleted User YIKES
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stay strong @dinnyhoon !
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@SeeYouNextTuesday I WAS SO SICK FOR HOURS
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@Deleted User ahhh haven't we all had moments where it should have been the quitting point? Lol
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Going to try and stomach some brekkies. Have a wonderful day everyone!
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4:43 PM
Thanks for the help as always
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:43 PM
I used a vaporizer and occasionally didn't let the alcohol evaporate completely and that was painful enough.
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@Deleted User at least it was rubbing alcohol, not iso! you might not be here right now! (thankfully you are!) (edited)
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@Ghastles oof, I'm almost sick just thinking about it
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Think I'm gonna call it early and take a nap, see everyone tomorrow :)
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What were your guys' big quit signs that you ignored?
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:48 PM
Anxiety anxiety anxiety
4:49 PM
And ignoring my friends for weed instead, unless of course there was a chance the two would overlap
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I didn't have any big SIGN to make me stop completely, there were big signs along the way that sort of accumulated
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:49 PM
@Deleted User I was self-employed and always smoked after I got everything done I needed to, then I almost always waited, then I started not getting stuff done, so I decided to fix it by taking on less stuff to smoke more...etc.
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What were your guys' big quit signs that you ignored?
@Deleted User having a stroke from an untreated TBI, because i was too busy getting high
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:51 PM
@Moderator -- Subduction I've wanted to do freelance work for a long time but I was always afraid that's how it would work out for me
4:51 PM
Kept me from starting. Now I finally can!
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@Ghastles I'm so glad you're still here
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Thanks, so am I, 😝
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@Moderator -- Subduction I was self-employed as a transcriptionist for a while. I was always too high to do it.
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:53 PM
@SeeYouNextTuesday Yup, when you're an active addict, being able to do whatever you want until you're broke is not a good business model. When I quit it all turned around. It took some time, but it all turned around.
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I'm planning to get back into selling my miniatures I paint, now that the quality will be better and more consistent
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SeeYouNextTuesday 17/05/2020 4:53 PM
Part of what held me back was I wasn't sure I could make enough to support the addiction. Suddenly I have $12K annual wiggle room
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Oh no my friend paints not me
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Moderator -- Subduction 17/05/2020 4:54 PM
@SeeYouNextTuesday Yeah, we should have been allowed to claim weed as a dependent on our income taxes.
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👉 Okay all, we'll be closing up in five minutes! 👈
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